Archive of Our Own

Received from: Aominecchi

[text]: I know its been forever
[text]: sorry for contacting out of the blue
[text]: but can we meet? I need to talk to you

~~~

Kise spent the last five hours trying to focus on anything other than his upcoming lunch with Aomine. When that name popped up on his screen he swore the exhaustion had gotten the better of him and he really was dreaming. It had been almost four years––not that he was counting––and he hadn't heard a word from Aomine. Then again, he'd made no attempt at contact either.

He spent the entire morning wondering why now?

When their relationship ended, he told himself he would stop chasing Aomine and let go of the fear of watching him walk away. Years later he was still telling himself the same thing. It was easier when he reminded himself that Aomine let him leave.

Why now?

~~~

When he finally got to Maji burger he stood outside for nearly twenty minutes wondering why he hadn't suggested someplace with less nostalgic value. He paced back and forth, continuously glancing through the windows to see if Aomine had spotted him. He didn't look all that different. Since he was sitting down, Kise couldn't tell if he'd grown, but his shoulders had certainly gotten broader. His arms, exposed by the short sleeves of his t-shirt, looked even more defined than they used to be. His profile still took Kise's breath away and he sighed heavily before finally making his way inside.

He smiled at the cashier as he passed, declining her offer to help him, before he slid into the seat across from Aomine. Aomine blinked as if he couldn't believe Kise was sitting in front of him. His eyes pulled away to glance around the restaurant and Kise's irritation instantly flared.

"If it bothers you that much to be around me then you shouldn't have asked me to meet you."

"Hah?" Aomine balked, running his fingers through his disheveled hair. "I never said–"

Kise pulled out his phone and watched the screen light up. "I've got an hour before my next shoot, so can we make this quick?"

Aomine sighed. "You've gotten pretty damn cold these past few years, haven't you?" When Kise's eyes narrowed, he lifted his hands and shrugged. "Got it. I'll try to make it quick." Instead of continuing, he fiddled with his drink, lifting the straw up and letting it screech back down.

Kise ground his teeth together and hissed, "Aominecchi..."

"This isn't easy to say, baka!" Aomine snapped. He palmed his nape and rolled his head back. It was a gesture Kise remembered too well. Something was making him nervous. Was it Kise's insistent stare? Or was it whatever he wanted to talk about? The latter made Kise straighten his back and clasp his hands together to prepare himself. He never did like Aomine's serious "talks". "Listen, this is gonna sound like––" Aomine bit his lower lip and sighed. "––I don't know, like bullshit, or something. But it's not. I don't know how else to say this, so I'm just gonna go for it."

Kise shifted in his seat.

"I love you."

Kise's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. There was no way he'd heard that correctly. Those were the three words he had wanted to hear four years ago and they were three words he certainly hadn't expected to hear right now.

"I'm not making this shit up. I swear that I am so head over heels in love with you that it almost disgusts me. There's all this sappy shit that goes through my head when I think about you and I don't know why I didn't realize it sooner and I wish I had because I've lost so much time, but–"

"I don't understand," Kise finally whispered. "It's been four years... four years..."

"I said I've lost so much time." Aomine reached across the table.

Kise panicked and immediately pulled his hand back. The way Aomine furrowed his brows at the reaction made the knots in his stomach tighten. He shook his head and directed his eyes downward. "I can't," he replied softly. "I don't want this, Aominecchi. How can you be so sure about this after four years of being so uncertain? Do you remember what you said to me when we broke up?"

Aomine hesitated, his lips curving into a frown.

"I asked you to stop making me an obligation because I was sick of being a second thought. I asked you to do that, or to let me go." Kise took a deep breath and swallowed hard to get rid of the lump that formed in his throat. Crying was the last thing he wanted to do right now. "Do you remember what you said to that?"

The genuine confusion that creased Aomine's brow was answer enough before he said, "No... I don't."

"You said, 'what if I feel obligated to choose the first option?'"

Aomine flinched and averted his eyes. "Oh."

"Oh?" Kise stared at him. "After all this time, all you can say is 'oh'?" He clenched his fists as his hands shook. Four years had heightened his expectations when they should have been lowered. Now, what little hope he clung to came crumbling down around him. "This is why I don't want this, Aominecchi. You don't remember what you said that made me leave, but you claim you cared all this time..."

"I know I was stupid, Ryouta. I know–"

Kise held up his hands and shook his head. "Please, don't call me that." He shivered. Hearing his name come from Aomine's lips still had the same effect it used to have. His voice was so deep and he always let every syllable roll off his tongue like he was savoring the sound and feel of it. Kise couldn't handle it. "I can't do this." His voice grew softer and softer as he spoke. "I just started getting over you. I just started playing basketball again. I don't want to go backwards, Aominecchi. I have plans for my life and you just–– you aren't a part of them. Not in the way you used to be."

The silence that followed was heavier than the weight he'd been bearing for the past years. He never expected to get everything off his chest, especially to Aomine's face, but he thought that he would feel better once he finally said those words. The way his chest tightened and his body shook made him think otherwise. He didn't want to see the pain that creased Aomine's brows. He didn't want to see the way Aomine's eyes glazed over like he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"I don't want to do it all over again, Aominecchi."

Aomine took a deep breath and pulled his hands into his lap. "It would be different." Was his voice shaking?

"I don't have any proof of that. I don't want to get hurt again when you decide I'm nothing more than an obligation."

"But that wouldn't–"

Kise drew in a sharp breath, silencing Aomine. "I can't." He shook his head and lifted his eyes to meet Aomine's probing gaze.

Silence stretched between them until Kise stood, unable to handle the mounting pressure. He was just about to head toward the door, forgetting about the goodbyes and the possibility of seeing Aomine again, when a soft sound made him pause and glance over his shoulder.

Aomine stood behind him with his arm extended halfway forward. "Kise..." He pulled his hand back, running his fingers through his hair until he could grip his nape. "I get that you don't want––I don't know-–a romantic relationship, I guess. That's fine. I get that. I was an asshole. But can we maybe..." He sighed heavily, teeth grit as it rose to a faint growl. "Let's be friends, okay?"

Kise hesitated. Thinking back to before their relationship started, Aomine had been his closest friend. He had confided in him, enjoyed spending time with him even before any romantic feelings had surfaced. The thought of returning to the way things were before his heart was broken gave him pause. He couldn't deny the craving for Aomine's presence. Even now, despite the resurfacing of a painful memory, a part of him was still comfortable around Aomine. That familiarity that he'd built never went away and, truthfully, he couldn't come up with a reason to say no.

"We can try."

A grin spread across Aomine's face, a smile comparable to one he wore before Teikou memories haunted him. Kise could feel his heart skip a beat and he cursed under his breath as he dashed out the door with barely more than a wave over his shoulder.

What am I getting myself into?

~~~

"I thought you said you were gonna meet us after your lunch."

Kise froze in the doorway to his apartment. Kasamatsu sat at their table, books spread across the surface in front of him. The rhythmic tapping of the pencil against the table's edge alerted Kise to his senpai's annoyance. He had sent Kasamatsu a text earlier to let him know he'd be late to the basketball game he'd set up with a few of the members of the basketball team who could use the extra practice. Kise had offered to help coach them in certain fundamentals, despite the fact that he rarely adhered to them himself. The lunch had gone longer than he expected and, in his flustered state, he'd completely forgotten about the game.

The fact that Kasamatsu had taken time out of his busy schedule to accommodate for Kise's and he hadn't even bothered to remember to show up made Kise's chest tighten. He kicked his shoes off and headed straight for the kitchen table, collapsing in the chair across from Kasamatsu. He carelessly shoved books aside and crossed his arms on the surface of the table, resting his chin against his forearm.

"I'm sorry, senpai," he said softly, lips pulled into a frown. "I completely forgot. The lunch took longer than I expected it to and then I was too disoriented afterward that I–"

"Wait a second." Kasamatsu held up a hand to stop him and Kise cocked his head to the side. "You were disoriented? After lunch? Who'd you go to lunch with?"

"Oh! Uhm..." Kise turned his head into the corner of his arm to hide his eyes. If there was anyone in the world dying to be the president of an "I Hate Aomine Daiki" club, it was Kasamatsu. Kise had fallen apart after his break up and his senpai had spent months putting him back together, desperate to have his ace back in top shape. Unfortunately, basketball became a painful reminder for Kise and instead of returning to the team, he left altogether. He knew that Kasamatsu blamed Aomine for the loss of his best player. Kaijou was still a force without him, but against the Generation of Miracles, they stood little chance. "I just met with an old friend," he finally muttered, voice muted by the blockage of his arm.

Kasamatsu fell silent and, curious to see the expression on his face, Kise lifted his head enough to peer up at him. His eyes had gotten darker and his lips were pulled into that parental frown that said I know you're lying to me.

"That's funny," Kasamatsu finally spoke after a pregnant pause. "You're usually so chatty, always telling me everything about everyone you go out with, whether I want to hear it or not." Kise braced himself. "You know what's funnier? There was one player who didn't show up for my actual practice today. The one that I had right before you had your little pow wow with whoever you're hiding from me. Want to guess who that was, Kise?"

"Ehe..." Kise slowly shook his head and lifted his shoulders in an awkward shrug. He'd forgotten that Aomine was on their university's basketball team. "Beats me, senpai."

"Aomine."

Kise grimaced. "You don't say?"

"Goddammit, Kise." Kasamatsu slapped his book shut and crossed his arms over his chest. "What the hell were you doing going out with him?"

"He contacted me, senpai." He lifted his hands off the table and held them in the air like he was being held at gunpoint. The way Kasamatsu was looking at him, he might as well have been. "I swear I didn't go running back. I just thought maybe there could be some apologies and I could finally get over everything and not be so bothered by it all anymore."

Kasamatsu's eyes narrowed. "And?"

"Well," Kise palmed his nape and averted his eyes. He couldn't exactly say their meeting helped him get over anything. In fact, he probably made the wrong decision, allowing Aomine to remain in his life. The distance had been difficult at first, but he'd grown accustomed to not having Aomine around. Seeing him less and less made it easier to bear. But a part of him believed that maybe friendship, strictly friendship and nothing more, could remind him of all Aomine's flaws and convince him that they were better off as they were.

"Kise..." Kasamatsu's voice lowered to a warning growl.

"I can't really say anything was resolved exactly..." He bit his lower lip. If he mentioned the friendship thing he knew he wouldn't get a favorable reaction, but if he didn't and Kasamatsu found out later on... He shuddered to think what might happen to him then. "He apologized, said he felt terrible and regretted it and whatnot."

"But?" He always seemed to know when Kise was withholding information.

"But then he said he still loved me. Well... he phrased it like he was in love with me, or something like that. I can't remember it exactly." He had to hold a hand up to stop the immediate outburst he could practically feel building inside Kasamatsu. "He said he wanted to get back all the lost time or something, but–" He held up a finger and leaned forward. "I said no. I said I couldn't deal with it and that I didn't see a future with him. I thought it would all end there, you know?"

Kasamatsu squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't tell me you're gonna see him again, Kise."

"I'm not! I'm–" Was he going to see him again? He agreed to the friendship, but he hadn't thought about what that might entail. Friends hung out. They went places together, spent time at one another's homes, talked on the phone, texted. It was all so close to what their relationship used to be and he didn't even consider going to those lengths to maintain this friendship. "I don't know, actually. I did agree to being friends with him..."

"Dammit," Kasamatsu hissed. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a heavy sigh. "I'm gonna kick his ass next practice."

"No! Senpai, don't worry about it. I can take care of myself!" He pushed himself out of his chair and began pacing around the kitchen. He needed to move around. Sitting was making him restless. Or maybe it was Aomine making him restless without even being there, just like he used to. Kise cursed to himself and banned the thought from his mind. It was Kasamatsu's insistent stare that was making him restless. That had to be it. "You already took such good care of me. I promise I won't get myself into trouble. Besides, you have Imayoshi-senpai now and I don't want to–"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kasamatsu snapped, eyes narrowed at Kise. "I don't have that four-eyed sleaze."

Kise's lips twitched and he shook his head. "Senpai, when are you going to admit that you love him? It's been nearly three years."

"Never. Because I don't."

"Now, now, Yukio-chan, how disheartening." Imayoshi stepped out of Kasamatsu's bedroom, hair a disheveled mess, wearing a well-fitted thermal and a loose pair of sweatpants. "I believe you said otherwise the night before though, neh?"

Kasamatsu visibly bristled, and Kise could see the way his body tightened and his eyes widened, like a deer caught in the headlights. It had been like that ever since they'd started going out. Kasamatsu had always been rather private about his personal life. It was something Kise had never quite understood because most facets of his own life were displayed on the internet or in the pages of various magazines. He'd gotten used to being so open and moving in with someone who was so guarded had been a challenge. Then Imayoshi came along and Kasamatsu did nothing but reject the poor guy whenever Kise was around. But he knew that somewhere, between the lines of denial and rejection, Imayoshi had found the truth. It kept him by Kasamatsu's side and, though he had his qualms about trusting the man, Kise was glad to know that his senpai had found someone who made him happy.

"Go back in the room," Kasmatsu turned just enough to glance over his shoulder. "You said you had a headache. I thought you were sleeping. Go to sleep. Go away."

"Yukio-chan, that's not very nice. Especially since it was your loud voice that roused me from sleep in the first place."

Kasamatsu's face lit up and Kise chuckled, silencing himself only when he felt the daggers coming from Kasamatsu's eyes.

Imayoshi made his way through the living room and busied himself in the kitchen. "Tea, Kise?"

Kise smiled and nodded, moving to the other end of the kitchen to lean against the wall.

"Yukio-chan?"

"Stop calling me that."

"I'll interpret that obstinate response as a yes and make a cup for you too." Imayoshi's smile stretched wide across his face. As he placed the tea kettle on the stove, he spoke. "I couldn't help overhearing, what with Yukio-chan's announcer voice and all." The soft tut of annoyance did not go unnoticed. It made that smile spread impossibly wider. "You were talking about Aomine, weren't you?"

Kasamatsu made no move to respond so Kise piped in. "I had lunch with him today."

"Yes, yes. I heard all that. And then he confessed his love to you, you denied him, but accepted the proposal of friendship. Am I right so far?"

"Gossipmonger." Kasamatsu hissed, crossing his arms over his chest and stubbornly turning his face away from Imayoshi.

Imayoshi chuckled and turned to Kise with an unashamed shrug. "He was my oh-so-favorite kouhai, after all. I was curious." He kept close to the stove and Kise knew he was listening for the sound of boiling water. Kasamatsu hated the sound of the teakettle whistle. "That being said, I think you should keep your guard up, Kise."

"I wasn't going to let it down." Kise's brow rose. It was unusual for Imayoshi to give any sort of helpful advice. He was naturally what Kasamatsu liked to call a snake-in-the-grass. He'd always wait until trouble had sufficiently brewed and step in to make things worse. Maybe it was Kasamatsu's emotional attachment to Kise that made him feel obligated to assist. Whatever the reason, Kise was willing to hear him out. After all, it was Imayoshi that wormed his way into Aomine's mind to convince him to join the Touou basketball team when Aomine had no intention of doing so.

"I know you have the intention." Imayoshi reached forward and switched the heat off. "But I've seen you around him. Maybe you've changed, or maybe he's changed. Knowing Aomine, he can't be all that different. He's set his sights on you and he's a fighter. You know this as well as I do." He filled a mug and let the tea stew for long enough before handing it off to Kise who nodded his thanks. "He might have been the one to suggest friendship, but why do you think he suggested that? To be close to you. I'm just warning you now. If you let your guard down, he'll find an opening."

Kise sighed and pushed himself off the wall. "I don't plan on letting that happen." He nodded his head at Kasamatsu who studiously ignored the gesture and made his way to his room.

Of all the conversations to have after that lunch...

When he reached his bedroom he let the door shut behind him and threw himself onto his bed after placing the mug on his nightstand. A part of him knew Imayoshi was right. In his flustered state, he hadn't considered the reason behind the suggestion for friendship. Agreeing to it sounded better than refusal in his head and maybe, just maybe, there was a part of him that wanted to keep Aomine close too. With a heavy sigh, he buried his face in his pillow and let the silence lull him to sleep with one final thought in his head.

I think Aominecchi may have already found an opening.

~~~

Contrary to Kise's belief, Aomine did not try to contact him the day prior to their lunch. It left Kise both relieved and disappointed. He also successfully convinced himself that he was disappointed because his assumption was incorrect and not because a part of him might have actually wanted it to happen.

It took nearly a week, but eventually Aomine made the first move. He sent a text early in the day when Kise was in a photo shoot and he was unable to read it until he got a brief reprieve from the camera. Aomine had asked if he had any free time during the upcoming week and, if he did, would he want to spend any of it hanging out. Kise ignored the text. He wasn't quite sure he was ready for it right then.

Unfortunately for him, Aomine was stubborn and had apparently become rather insistent in their time apart.

When he returned to the apartment after a meeting with his manager, his phone rang the moment he walked through the door. Assuming it was Kasamatsu calling to let him know he'd be spending the night at Imayoshi's, he answered without checking the Caller ID.

"Kise?"

He froze, hand still clutching the doorknob. That voice was far too deep to be Kasamatsu. He felt his chest tighten just from hearing Aomine's voice and all he wanted to do was open the door and run. It would do nothing to help the situation though. He knew that no matter how far he ran, he'd never outrun his own feelings.

"Kise, did you actually pick up? Or am I talking to your ass right now?"

Kise scowled. "I picked up, baka."

Aomine snorted into the phone. "Then why the silence?"

"Eh..." Might as well be honest. "I thought you were senpai calling. Your voice kind of startled me."

"Oh? And why the hell would he be calling you when you guys live together?" He could have been wrong, but Kise could swear he heard a hint of resentment in Aomine's voice.

"Because he's--" He paused and drew in a slow breath. Years ago he would have jumped at the chance to tell Aomine he had the house to himself. Now the thought made him pause. The last thing he wanted was Aomine offering to keep him company while Kasamatsu was gone. "--at the pharmacy. We needed a few things and I thought he was calling to double check something."

"Uh huh..." Kise couldn't blame him for the skepticism. "Well, whatever." There was a heavy sigh from Aomine's end. "Did you get my text?"

"Yeah, I got it."

"And?"

"I haven't answered yet."

Another heavy sigh to make Kise grimace.

"I know that, baka. What do you think I'm calling about?"

"I don't know how to answer yet, Aominecchi. My schedule has a tendency to change, so I can't make any real plans."

The phone fell silent. He had to press the speaker tight against his ear just to catch the soft hitch in Aomine's breath to know he was still there. When he finally spoke, Kise felt his heart plummet.

"Is that an excuse not to see me?"

"No!" He responded so quickly it sounded defensive, even to him, and he knew that Aomine would hear the lie (partial one that it was). "Well, maybe a little bit. I--" How could he explain without sounding like a complete ass? "Look, Aominecchi, I don't know how ready I am for this friendship. You have to give me time to adjust to the idea. You've convinced yourself that you want me in your life, and you must've been thinking it for a while. And I convinced myself that I didn't need you anymore. I need time. You can't just casually stroll back into my life, confess your love and expect things to fall back into place."

"I wasn't expecting that, Kise, but--"

"If I have the time during the week I'll let you know, okay?"

"Kise..."

"Bye, Aominecchi. I'll talk to you later."

Before Aomine could protest, Kise hung up. He sank to the floor, clutching his phone to his chest and willing his heartbeat to slow down. Hearing that erratic beat reminded him of Imayoshi's warning and he slowly rose from the ground, making his way into the kitchen to make himself some tea; an attempt to knock himself out so he could sleep free of dreams and free of thoughts he wasn't quite sure he wanted to dwell on.

~~~

Kise had no intention of hanging out with Aomine until he felt like he was ready for it, but it seemed to be an impossible event to avoid. Without contacting one another, he ran into Aomine after coming out of a long photo shoot. He had just stepped outside and turned the corner when he crashed into Aomine's solid chest.

He stumbled and an arm slid around his waist. It wasn't until he felt the familiar way their bodies fit together that he knew who it was. With a startled gasp, he shoved himself away and wiped his hands across his thighs. Aomine stared, which only made him feel more uncomfortable.

"Stop looking at me like that!"

"Sorry, sorry." Aomine lifted his hand and shrugged in manner that rid him of the guilt of making Kise uncomfortable. "Didn't expect to see you over here. I figured you had shoots all day or something." He paused and ran his fingers through his hair. "You haven't been answering my texts much."

Kise grimaced. Truthfully, he'd been intentionally ignoring most of Aomine's texts. He'd answer now and again. He even called him once to vent about a photographer's manners, or lack thereof. The casual tone of the phone call gave him hope that seeing Aomine in person might be easier, but the way his heart hammered in his chest said otherwise.

"Er... I've been pretty busy lately." He lied. Sure, he had a shoot here or there, but most of his excuses were made up and he often used Kasamatsu to get out of most of Aomine's suggestions.

Aomine shrugged. "Figured as much. S'no big deal." He glanced across the street and Kise followed his gaze to a sushi restaurant that they had frequented during their relationship. "You doing anything right now? Or do you got another shoot?"

"I can't..." deal with having you by my side because I don't think I can control myself, or maybe I'm afraid that you'll be the one to lose control and I just can't handle it right now and, my god, I really hate you for looking so good, Aominecchi, just stop! Stop! Stop! Kise sighed. Having Aomine in front of him made it harder for him to say no. He couldn't just ignore the question like he did a call or a text. And, really, he had been avoiding him for long enough. "Actually, I'm free for the rest of the day."

I hope I don't regret this.

Aomine's face lit up and Kise cursed his weak heart for skipping a beat. "Really? That's awesome 'cause I was thinking we could maybe--"

"Sushi?"

"Hah?" Aomine's brow rose. "Yeah, how the hell did you--"

"I know the sushi place across the street as well as you do, baka. I saw you looking at it."

Aomine's snort of amusement had always been on of Kise's favorite sounds. "Guilty as charged." He gestured toward the restaurant. "So what d'ya say?"

He glanced back at the sushi restaurant and tightened his hands into fists to quell the tingling want to hold Aomine's hand. "I guess I could go for some sushi."

~~~

Lunch went better than he expected it to. Aomine let him complain about certain models and photographers he had worked with over the previous weeks and even let him gush about his favorite outfits. He didn't complain when Kise talked about Kasamatsu, like he used to, and when he spoke he only told Kise about the things that had happened in the previous weeks. It was such a relief not to have to discuss their standing in one another's lives.

After finishing their sushi, Kise expected to return home, but Aomine requested more of his time with a suggestion to head to the park near their school. Neither one of them was dressed appropriately for a basketball game and, unfortunately, Aomine forgot his ball at home. But this suited Kise. He wasn't sure he was ready to be on the same court as Aomine again, not when basketball was one thing that made him fall so madly in love in the first place.

The park had just recently acquired a man-made lake and was currently filled with paddle boats. Kise's enthusiasm rivaled that of a child and when Aomine suggested that they take a ride, he couldn't refuse. He hadn't considered what paddle boating would entail.

Cramped in a small boat, leg pressed against the length of Aomine's, arms brushing together every time they moved, it involved everything he wanted to avoid. Despite their proximity, he tried to enjoy himself. Both of them had strong legs, from basketball and gym maintenance, so they could cycle the boat across the small lake with ease.

It was enjoyable and Kise almost forgot all the reasons for worry until Aomine reached across his body to swipe at a branch that hung too low. His face was only a few centimeters away, so close that Kise could feel his hot breath against the side of his neck. A shiver ran down his spine and, before he could stop himself, he flung his arms to the side and shoved Aomine off of the boat.

"Aominecchi!" He threw himself over to the opposite side of the boat just as Aomine's head resurfaced. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to--"

Aomine coughed and spat lake water from his mouth. He grimaced and shook his head, pointing an accusing finger at Kise. "What the hell was that for?"

"I--I just felt--" Kise bit his lips and extended a hand toward Aomine. "You startled me. That's all."

Aomine frowned and begrudgingly accepted Kise's hand to help him back into the boat.

"You know," Kise began, situating himself in his seat again. "You probably wouldn't have sank if you'd worn the life vest like they told you to."

"And look like a bloated idiot like you? I don't think so."

Kise puffed his cheeks out in annoyance and when Aomine laughed he didn't hesitate to push him in again.

~~~

After his run in with Aomine, it got easier to agree to see him again. They went out to lunch where Aomine squirted ketchup in his face and had Kise laughing about it for the entirety of the day. Kise dragged him to an arcade out of the childish desire to earn enough tickets to win a blue and gold teddy bear he'd seen in the window. He still refused every suggestion for a one-on-one that Aomine tried to make and each time he was invited to Aomine's apartment, he came up with a reason to say no. It was one thing meeting him in public where he was forced to keep up enough appearances to quell the incessant beating of his heart. He had no idea how he'd handle being alone with Aomine.

They spoke on the phone frequently and Kise had started to answer his texts more often. He still didn't make an exception during work, as he used to, but if he had free time, he'd respond to whatever Aomine sent.

Neither one of them brought up the first lunch that brought about the renewal of their friendship. It was the one thing constantly on Kise's mind. Every conversation they had made him worry. He didn't want to see those words on the screen or hear them through the speaker of his cell phone. Relief washed over him at the end of the night when he realized they had gone another full day without mention of Aomine's lingering feelings. Each night made him more and more complacent.

He should have known what would happen when he let his guard down.

~~~

"Aominecchi, we can catch goldfish over here!"

Kise took a trip out to Tokyo for a festival that had been set up in the park across from Aomine's old home. They had already gone on all the rides, no matter how small or childish they were. Aomine had eaten his fill of fried food, but Kise hadn't satiated his need to play every game at every stand they had set up.

"Oi, Kise." Aomine trudged after him and Kise could feel his reluctance. "I don't wanna carry goldfish around. Let's do that last."

"Eeeh?" He turned and put on an epic pout, eyes just short of watering. "But I wanna play. I wanna get a goldfish!"

Aomine's defiance faltered as Kise leaned closer and closer.

"Please, Aominecchi?"

With a growling sigh of defeat, Aomine walked up to the stand and paid for a few games. Kise's excitement drew a crowd. The two of them came away with three goldfish each and Kise left with more than a few women tailing him through the festival.

"They're so cute!" Kise gushed, holding the large bag up to his face. "I wonder what I should name them. What are you gonna name yours, Aominecchi?" He was too preoccupied with his new pets to notice the way Aomine's brow twitched and his eyes narrowed. He didn't even care that he didn't receive an answer. He was tapping the side of the bag, chuckling as the fish scattered away from the sound.

"Excuse me?"

The soft voice pulled his attention away from the fish, landing his gaze on a short, young woman and a few of her friends standing a couple feet behind.

"This is probably a weird thing to ask because this place is so out his way, I'm sure, but... you kind of look like that model. You know, Kise Ryouta?"

Kise's brow rose and he nodded his head. "I am Kise Ryouta."

He should have known that phrase was taboo. He'd been in this profession long enough to know that outing himself would draw every fan in the vicinity to where he was. In a matter of minutes, he was overwhelmed. No matter which way he looked, he was surrounded by women, extending their hands to grasp him own, offering pens or markers and anything they had on them for a signature. Aomine was no where in sight. He tried to search for him, to apologize. He should have been easy to spot in the crowd. No one here fit the bill of tall, dark and handsome like Aomine did.

At a loss, he started shaking hands, smiling for pictures, and signing his name across every item shoved in his face. The faster he got through the throng of people the sooner he could get back to enjoying the festival and his evening with Aomine. He had just slipped his arm around another girl's waist to pose for yet another picture when strong fingers wrapped around his wrist and jerked him out of the crowd.

He stumbled as he broke into a run, Aomine clinging to his wrist to ensure he remained behind him. "Aominecchi, what are you––" He almost fell when Aomine tugged him forward harder to silence him. They were deep in the trees that surrounded the park, far from both the crowds and the festival. Aomine's fish were gone and so were Kise's. He didn't remember dropping them or giving them to anyone else. The realization made him frown and he turned to head back to the festival, determined to find his fish or win himself a few more, but Aomine grabbed his wrist again and pulled him back.

He fell forward, bracing his hands on Aomine's chest. "Aominecchi, I want to––" He froze. Aomine wrapped his arms around Kise's waist and buried his face against his neck. He could feel that warm breath, raising goosebumps across his skin. When he tried to push away, Aomine's grip tightened. "What are you––"

"You're supposed to be here with me," Aomine whispered. "Not with your fans."

Kise pushed against his chest again. "I can't help that my fans were at the festival too, baka. I was trying to get through them so we could get back to the games, but you disappeared."

"I got pushed away by your harem. I couldn't help that!"

Kise's expression darkened. "Let me go."

Aomine slowly pulled his head back, but did not relinquish his hold. "I'm sorry. I won't call them that. I just––"

"Let. Me. Go."

"I don't want to go back, Kise. They're still there and still waiting for you. You were supposed to just be with me." Aomine's voice rose an octave in his desperation, but Kise continued to struggle. "Let's go somewhere else. I don't care where, just not back there."

"I want my goldfish, Aominecchi. I wanted to go there and win a goldfish and now mine are gone. I'm going back." He finally shoved himself away and grit his teeth when his back hit the trunk of a tree. "And I was there with you. I don't know what you're––"

"But you aren't with me, Kise."

Kise drew in a sharp breath.

"I thought this festival would be fun and we'd get to spend the whole day together." Aomine ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily. "I wanted to see that stupid, beautiful smile of yours, but I got so selfish and... fuck, I don't know. I wanted you to direct it only at me. But that was stupid. I tried to ignore the looks you were getting, but do you know how hard that is? You look so fucking good in that yukata, so of course people are gonna look. But I don't want them to. Then those girls surrounded you and you kept smiling at them, laughing with them, touching them. You never touch me like that."

Kise could feel his hand shaking, the speed of his heartbeat spiking. "We're friends, Aominecchi. You agreed to that. I'm not going to touch you like that. I'm not––"

Aomine threw his arms up in the arm and let out a growl of frustration. He stepped forward and grabbed Kise's wrists, pinning them above his head.

"Aominecchi!" Though he struggled, he couldn't free his hands from Aomine's vice. "Stop! What are you––"

"I agreed to friendship, Kise." Aqomine's lips were only a few inches away. "But you're testing my patience and my restraint. You were the one who suggested we come to this festival. You already know why I agreed. But you come to my house, wearing this..." His eyes raked across Kise's body, pausing at the end of the yukata opening, where the pale skin of Kise's stomach could be seen. "You cling to my arm on the rides, press your body against me as we walk through the crowds. You smile at me and give me hope, then turn that same fucking smile on your fans. Did you forget how I feel about you? Or are you just stupid?"

Kise's eyes widened and he struggled, lifting a leg to push it up between his body and Aomine's. "I'm not stupid! I haven't forgotten." Aomine's leg pressed against his own, stopping his attempt to break free. "But I never once said I was giving you hope. I'm standing by what I said. I only want to be friends. I only want––"

"Then why are your cheeks so red?"

"Ah! T-that's because––"

Aomine leaned in closer. "And I can hear your heartbeat."

"Well, you're pinning me to a tree and I'm trying to move you. It's just from the struggle. I––"

"You're lying."

"I'm not!" Kise twisted his wrists and nearly broke free.

"Kise..."

He could feel the heat coming from Aomine's and he turned his face to the side. "Please, let me go..."

But Aomine kissed him. His lips pressed against the edge of Kise's mouth until Kise turned his face enough in protest to fully capture his lips.

Kise lost the will to fight, or maybe his mind just forgot how. Aomine's mouth was hot, his tongue like a firebrand that melted the restraint keeping his lips shut tight. His tongue struggled for him, but not for long. His legs weakened and Aomine released his hands to wrap his arms around his waist. His hands fell to Aomine's shoulders, feeling the way his muscles moved and he swore he could remember every kiss. They had always made him weak, made his mind blank, made him succumb to Aomine's every will.

He pulled back, gasping for breath. Aomine pressed his forehead against Kise's and, in his daze, he didn't push him away. Not immediately.

"Kise, I––"

"Baka.." Kise slapped his shoulder.

"Hah? Kise, what are you––"

"Baka!" Kise slapped him again. "Baka! Baka! Baka!" He gripped Aomine's shoulders and pushed him back, stumbling to the side. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Aomine held his hands up like he was claiming his innocence. "You kissed me back, Kise. Don't act like I was the only one."

Kise shook his head. He hadn't kissed him back, had he? Why would he do that? He didn't love him anymore. There was no way he still loved Aomine Daiki. "I didn't. I––"

"You did, Kise. Don't be stupid."

"Don't call me stupid." His fingers curled into his palm and his fists shook with the desire to punch Aomine in face. "You know what your kisses do to me. You used to use them on me all the time and I always, always gave in." His voice was slowly rising. "Why would it be any different now? I thought you were fine with being friends. It was your idea! I was happy, Aominecchi. I was happy seeing you and talking to you and––"

"So was I! Because I love you!"

"Stop! Stop saying that! You let me go, Aominecchi! You let me walk away. You chose everything else over me. You broke my heart."

"I already admitted to being stupid. I regret that, okay? What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to let those feelings go."

Aomine's arms fell to his side. "...what?"

"It was so easy for you to let me walk away before. It shouldn't be hard to do the same thing again. Just let the feelings go." Kise took slow steps away from Aomine. "I want to be friends, Aominecchi, but I can't be friends with you if you're going to do this. I––my heart is still racing and..." He pressed his fingers against his lips. Aomine's taste still lingered on his tongue, and his lips still tingled from the kiss. "I just got over you. Don't make me struggle to do it again."

"Goddammit, Kise... You don't have to get over me if you'll just––"

"I don't want a relationship." He braced himself against a tree far from where Aomine stood. "You said you could do friendship. I'm not looking to complicate my life any more than it already is. I'm too busy for a relationship and I don't want to deal with the pain of love. I'm done with it." He took another slow step back. "I'm going back to the festival to win another goldfish and then I'm going home. If you text or call later, I don't know if I'll answer."

Aomine hesitated before slowly nodding. "I guess that's fair."

"I really do want to be your friend, Aominecchi, but if your feelings are going to get in the way... for your sake, it might be better for us to go our separate ways." He waved his goodbye and started heading toward the festival. He was far enough away that, if he weren't already listening for any little sound, he wouldn't have heard Aomine's final response.

"Baka Kise. Like hell I'm letting you go again."

~~~

"You better not expect me to take care of those damn fish when you're not home, Kise."

Kise jumped. "Ah, senpai! I thought you were staying at Imayoshi-senpai's tonight."

He had arrived home a few hours ago. Once returning to the festival, he headed toward the goldfish game. Halfway there he was stopped by a fan who held out a bag of three goldfish toward him. She explained how she saw Aomine put them down before he dove into the crowd to grab Kise and how she had ben searching for Kise and his friend in hopes of returning them. Kise accepted the fish with a smile and stood before the stand, staring at the three fish. Unable to leave them behind, he took Aomine's fish home with him and bought a tank large enough to hold them on the way back. He'd spent the past few hours setting up the tank itself with colorful plants and little fish homes and rainbow rocks to line the bottom. The remainder of the time he spent watching the fish, pretending he wasn't thinking about his argument with Aomine when, really, it was the only thing on his mind.

Kasamatsu scowled. "Do I always have to go to his place?"

Kise returned his attention to the fish. "Well, no. I guess not." He crossed his arms on the table and rested his chin against his forearm. "They don't seem to like the houses I bought them."

"You do know those are mostly for decoration. For you, not the fish." Kasamatsu shrugged a jacket off his shoulders and made his way to the kitchen table. He lowered himself into the seat across from Kise and eyed the fish before moving his gaze to Kise's face.

Kise could feel the scrutiny. He tried to keep any hints off his face. Being a model taught him to school his expressions, but even doing that did nothing to hide what he was thinking from Kasamatsu. He didn't know how he did it, but Kasamatsu always knew when something was wrong.

"So where'd you get the goldfish?" Kasamatsu finally asked, reaching forward to tap finger against the glass.

The fish scattered toward Kise and he watched them calm until they were flitting about like they were before. "At a festival," he admitted.

"A festival?" Kasamatsu's eyes narrowed. "Where was it?"

"Ah... in Tokyo?"

With a heavy sigh, Kasamatsu crossed his arms over his chest. "You went with Aomine?"

Kise didn't respond. He didn't have to. He stared at the fish and tried to tell himself they didn't remind him of Aomine, especially that red and black one that he'd named Touou, after Aomine's high school. It was a stupid idea, he told himself, naming a fish after the high school that reminded him of the one person he didn't want to think about. But he'd named the white and blue one Kaijou, so it was only fitting to do the same for the other fish.

"You went with Aomine," he growled, the silence as confirmation. "What the hell happened?"

"Maaah, senpai, why does something bad have to happen if I'm with Aominecchi?" Was he that easy to read?

Kasamatsu leaned forward in his seat and reached toward Kise's face. Kise flinched when his thumb brushed his cheek, but he didn't pull away. "I know you cried, brat. I can see it in your eyes. You're such a crybaby, but you don't cry over things that don't matter. Not anymore."

He thought he had taken painstaking care of covering up the evidence of his brief tears, but even with the time he spent to hide it, Kasamatsu still found out. He sighed and pulled his face away to avert his eyes. "I just had to make sure he remembered his place."

Kasamatsu's fury was instantaneous. He pulled his hand back as his fingers curled into a fist. "What the hell did he do to you?"

"He didn't do anything, senpai." Kise held his hands up and shook his head. "I promise that I'm alright. I just had to remind him that we're only friends. He wanted to overstep and I––"

Kasamatsu grabbed Kise's chin and turned his face forward. "He did something to you, Kise. Don't you dare lie to me. I will kill him if he lays a finger on you against your will. Don't underestimate––"

"Oh! Fish!"

Both Kise and Kasamatsu jumped. They glanced toward the doorway. Imayoshi stood in the entryway, a wide grin spreading across his face as he made his way inside, pocketing the key Kasamatsu must have given him.

"I take it you got these at the festival." He reached forward and swirled the tip of his index finger through the water. "Did Aomine win these for you?"

Kise shook his head and pulled the fish tank out his reach. "I––"

"Oh, he didn't? What'd he do instead? Did he pull you away to watch the fireworks so he could plant a kiss on you when you least expected?"

Kise's eyes widened. How did he know about the kiss? No... he doesn't know. Imayoshi-senpai is just being himself. He's just teasing me.

Kasamatu's expression mirrored Kise's the moment he saw his expression change. "He kissed you?"

"I'm going to bed, senpai." Kise smiled and lifted the fish bowl off the table. "Long day, you know? I'll take the fish to my room. Don't worry. You won't have to take care of them."

"Kise, get your ass back here." Kise heard Kasamatsu take a step in his direction, but that was as far as he got. Imayoshi must have caught him because he heard Kasamatsu hiss, "Tell your stupid kouhai to keep away from mine, Shouichi."

He closed the door behind him and moved across the room to place the fish on his bedside table. When he got home he had left his phone on his bed and, looking at it now, he noticed he had missed several calls and texts from his manager as well as a handful from Aomine. Some were apologies, some went on about how he wasn't going to let their conversation discourage him. Kise deleted them all until he reached the last one.

Received from: Aominecchi

[text]: you're an idiot if you think im giving you up again

~~~

The next few months passed with less and less contact from Aomine. He'd send a text here and there to see how Kise was doing and, depending on the day, Kise would ignore it or answer it. They got together twice and both times Kise insisted they remain at restaurants near the modeling agency so he could leave as soon as he finished the meal. He intentionally scheduled their lunch dates when he had only a short amount of time, giving Aomine less of an opening to make another move. If his methods of avoidance were getting on Aomine's nerves, he couldn't tell. Aomine came to the lunches, smiled and talked about things going on in his life, asked Kise about school, about modeling, even about Kasamatsu, and then waved his goodbyes when Kise had to leave. It was all so easy that it left Kise feeling apprehensive.

Was Aomine planning something or was he really content with their current situation? It was Aomine who had requested this friendship remain intact, but Kise was still hesitant. He meant what he said when he told Aomine it might be better to part ways. Truthfully, as much as he wanted Aomine around, his presence weighed heavily on Kise day in and day out. Judging by Aomine's reaction at the festival, Kise's presence did the same. He never wanted a friendship that left them both walking on eggshells.

Despite all this, he found it hard to give it all up. If he could mend what Aomine had broken a second time, then he wanted to try. But those words still rang in his head. Like hell I'm letting you go again. It was obvious he was pushing for more when Kise was pulling back and adamantly declining any and every offer.

Kise's birthday came up and Aomine called to wish him a happy birthday first thing in the morning, but he didn't ask for any of Kise's time. The moment they got off the phone, Kise felt a wave of disappointment. Had he expected anything more? They were just friends. Aomine had no obligation to take Kise out for his birthday and Kise had no time with what Kasamatsu had planned.

So why am I so disappointed?

Soon Aomine's correspondence diminished almost entirely. Even though Kise told himself that he wanted their separation, having Aomine back in his life, no matter how briefly he had been there, had left an indelible imprint. He found himself checking his phone for texts, or rereading the ones he had stubbornly refused to delete. He asked Kasamatsu if Aomine had been attending practices and games and Kasamatsu assured him that he had been (after yelling at him for asking in the first place and reminding him that what Aomine did shouldn't concern him in the slightest). He spoke to Imayoshi, hoping that he kept in touch with Aomine, but he hadn't heard any more than Kasamatsu had.

He refused to cave and be the one to contact Aomine first. How hypocritical would it be for him to go running back to Aomine after everything he said? Repeating that question was the only thing that kept him from sending the message he had saved in his drafts.

It wasn't until he ran into Aomine on campus that he finally blurted out, "Why haven't you contacted me?"

Aomine, who apparently had the intention to pass Kise by with barely more than a nod of his head, stared at him for a few minutes too long before responding with, "You're the one who told me you probably wouldn't answer. It's a pain in the ass to use my phone. I never liked using it in the first place. That hasn't changed." Aomine shrugged. "I'm not gonna try if you're just gonna delete it. Waste of my time."

"I'm a waste of your time?" Kise took a step forward and lowered his hand to his side before he could reach out to grab Aomine's arm.

Aomine sighed. "Kise, don't start. I'm only doing what you asked." He sighed, palming his nape as he turned his face away from Kise's probing gaze. "Look, I have no intention of losing this friendship, but I'm also not going to put the effort in when I get no reciprocation whatsoever. You don't wanna answer my texts? Fine. I won't send them. I'll contact you if I wanna hang out or something. Other than that, I'll leave you alone like you asked me to. I'm smart enough to know that trying too hard will push you away and I don't wanna do that shit. I said I wasn't gonna let you go and I meant it, but I realized there's shit I gotta give up if I wanna keep you in my life. So I'm working on doing that right now."

"But Aominecchi, I don't want you to change for me. I just don't––" want my heart broken again.

"It's fine, Kise. I get it." Aomine lifted a hand to wave goodbye. "Maybe we can get dinner later, or something." He took a step forward and paused. "I'll text you."

Kise lowered himself onto the nearest bench, well aware that his class was minutes away from starting. He wrapped his arms around himself and pressed his chin against his chest. Aomine wasn't wrong. Kise had, in less words, asked for space. He wasn't answering Aomine's texts because he felt smothered and he feared that responding all the time would appear as encouragement. It was Aomine himself who had said Kise was giving false hope. So why did Aomine's words make him feel so unbearably lonely?

~~~

Upon Kise's request, Aomine started texting him again, but sparingly. He'd send Kise information about his day now and again, or complain about basketball practice, or gripe about the lack of hot water in his apartment. Kise would complain about photographers, gush about fundraisers, lament over grades he was trying to improve. Since he started university, he'd been working on keeping his grades above average. He only had modeling as an obligation after he quit basketball and maintaining his grades had gotten easier. He started to care more and put more effort into homework and studying.

He'd been doing so well until a test came up that contained material he had missed due to an international photo shoot that kept him out of town for a week. When he found out the scores, he was devastated to find that he was in the bottom ten of his class. Kasamatsu was away on a weekend trip with Imayoshi and Kise had no one else to call and cry to, so it was only natural when Aomine's drawl came through the phone and later lowered to soft, reassuring words of encouragement.

In his despair, Kise insisted that Aomine come over and he pulled out all the alcohol Kasamatsu had stashed around their apartment. His sensei wasn't much of a drinker. In fact, he was even more of a lightweight than Kise. It was Imayoshi who often gifted bottles of alcohol as a joke and Kasamatsu, out of love, kept them all. Kise figured he might as well put them to good use. He'd failed his test, got kicked off a photo shoot for arguing with one of his least favorite photographers, lost all three goldfish in the same week, and wanted nothing more than to numb himself and forget the rest of the night.

As soon as Aomine walked through the door, he did exactly that. Drink after drink left him more and more desensitized. He vaguely registered Aomine's insistence to slow down, but went against the warning and took another shot. By the end of the night he was sprawled across Aomine's lap singing "Point of No Return" from The Phantom of the Opera.

When he woke up in the morning he didn't remember shifting in Aomine's lap until his legs straddled either side of his waist. He didn't remember pulling off his shirt, and then Aomine's, and running his hands across a body he had memorized years ago. He didn't remember the kisses, but he could feel them in the way his lips swelled in the morning. He didn't remember how he ended up naked, but when he awoke with Aomine's arm wrapped around his waist and his head on his chest, he had a pretty good idea why he ended up that way.

Slowly peeling himself away, he rolled off the couch and rushed into the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror.

One... Two.... Three... He turned around and ran his fingers up the side of his back and over his nape, tracing the marks left there. Four... Five... Six...

Kise groaned and let his head fall forward to bump against the mirror. "I'm an idiot," he whispered, watching as his breath fogged up the glass. "What am I supposed to do now?"

~~~

After retreating to his room to slip on a pair of boxers, he returned to the living room to find Aomine pulling his pants up to his waist. "Aominecchi, what are you––"

Aomine glanced at him and shrugged. He searched the room for his shirt as he said, "I know what happens after this, Kise." He found his shirt tucked behind the couch and Kise had no idea how it ended up back there. "This is where you tell me how you don't remember anything that happened last night. Judging by the look on your face though, it seems like you have a pretty good idea. But this where you blame me for it, right? Even though it was your drunk ass grinding on me, begging me to fuck you senseless." When Kise's jaw dropped, Aomine nodded. "Yeah, that was you last night, baka."

Kise slowly moved to his couch, collapsing onto the cushions. He could still smell Aomine on them and, even though he was mortified and cursing himself for getting so out of hand, that warm scent comforted him.

"I'm not placing all the blame on you, Kise," Aomine continued. "I was sober enough to remember it all so I know I could've denied you. I could've let you pass out and left it at that, but I didn't. I wanted that." He sighed and rubbed his hand across his nape. "Fucking stupid of me, but I'm pretty damn bad at saying no when I want something. Besides, I got to hear you say something I was starting to think I'd never hear again." His lips twitched in a faint smile. "You don't remember it, but I bet it'll come back to you in a few days."

"I––" Kise blinked and tried to think past the swelling pain in his head. "What did I say?"

"Not telling, baka." Aomine made his way to the kitchen to grab his keys from the table. "I gotta go." He paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Don't expect me to contact you for a while. I don't regret my decision, but I'm pretty fucking pissed that you don't remember any of it because I'm sure you're suppressing it on purpose." He slowly pulled the door open. "Make sure the captain doesn't try to kill me or something, okay?"

Kise buried his face in the pillow after the door clicked shut. His body still felt hot and every mark Aomine left behind burned like they'd been left with a hot poker and not Aomine's mouth. He knew he needed to get himself up, washed and fed. He needed something to combat the hangover and something to erase the memories that were already starting to surface.

He still couldn't remember what he said, but minute by minute he was starting to remember Aomine's touch. He could map out where Aomine's hands traveled, where his fingers gripped at Kise's skin, where his mouth latched on, where his tongue trailed. The pillow did little to suppress his frustrated groan. It took only a few more minutes of enduring the memories for him to roll off the couch with a huff and stomp his way into the bathroom. He grabbed the knob in the shower, turning it past the red and straight to the cold blue.

Baka Aominecchi! He stepped into the shower with a soft yelp as the cold washed over his skin. How dare you? ...how dare I? His fingers brushed over the mark left on his shoulder. He could see it out of the corner of his eye. What did I say to him? I hope it wasn't...

...I love you

~~~

Kise walked out of the bathroom, a pair of sweatpants hanging low on his waist and a towel around his neck. He expected an empty apartment after Aomine left, but the moment he walked out he ran into Kasamatsu. He stumbled back, startled, and took in the shocked expression on his senpai's face. He was about to open his mouth to speak when he remembered what he'd seen in the mirror before Aomine left; all those marks that covered his body. He'd left his shirt in his room.

"Kise, what the hell––"

"Ah, senpai, it's not––" He lifted his arms and waved his hands in front of him, shaking his head as Kasamatsu took a step forward. "I mean, it's just––"

"Just what?" Kasamatsu slapped his hands out of the way and grabbed his shoulder to spin him around. He shivered as Kasamatsu ran his fingers over his upper back. "Goddammit, Kise. This is from him, isn't it? How did this happen?"

Kise slumped forward, pressing his forehead against the wall. "I don't know," he admitted softly. "I don't remember how we got this far, but it happened."

He heard Kasamatsu sigh before the warmth of his hand disappeared from his back. Glancing over his shoulder, he watched as Kasamatsu made his way to the kitchen table. "Listen..." Steeling himself for a lecture, Kise made his way to he couch. "I don't give a damn what you do with him, Kise. I can't stop you. I've never really been able to stop you from doing things, no matter how I react." He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "But I care about you and I really don't want to see you hurt. Not like this. Do what you want, but just remember how you were before I helped you pick up the pieces. Do you really wanna go through that again?"

Every memory from back then was like looking through a foggy window. He could wipe away the haze, but he still had troubled seeing clearly through the streaks left behind. A part of him wanted it to stay that way. All those memories brought him nothing but pain and shame. He still couldn't believe he'd let himself fall so low that Kasamatsu had to grab his arm and forcibly lift him back onto his feet.

Pulling his knees up to his chest, he shook his head. "I haven't forgotten, senpai," he replied, voice barely more than a hoarse whisper. "I won't ever forget it."

~~~

Kise spent the next two weeks staring at his phone. He jumped with every chime and each message left him more disappointed than the last. Everyone texted. Everyone called. Everyone tried to contact him except the one person he wouldn't admit he wanted to hear from.

Finally he caved and called Aomine first. Their conversation began with reluctant apologies, Kise still unable to recall anything he said that night. Aomine forgave him and told him he'd remember in time, said he wanted Kise to tell him the moment he remembered what he said because he wanted to know how he'd react. They talked about Kise's recent nomination for a fashion award as an upcoming male model. He brushed off Aomine's insistence that he was a shoo in for the prize and continued on the talk about how Kasamatsu had commented about Aomine's recent contributions to their practices. It warmed Kise's heart (though he wouldn't admit it aloud) that Aomine had taken on the role of a mentor to a few of the newer members. From what he heard from Kasamatsu, he was harsh, made fun of them a lot and even made one of them cry, but overall their technique and their command of the fundamentals had improved exponentially. Kise expressed his approval of the turn around and Aomine countered it by claiming he was sick of playing with people who acted like they'd never held a basketball before.

Two hours later, he tossed his phone on his bed and vigorously rubbed his face to try and erase the smile that spread across his lips. He had to constantly remind himself, throughout the remainder of the day, that he had intended on this relationship to remain platonic. Of course, that meant that he couldn't possibly be this happy about talking to Aomine. His heartbeat couldn't possibly be this erratic, this loud for someone he only thought of as a friend.

When Kise did, in fact, win the award for upcoming male model, Aomine sent him a large bouquet of flowers with a note attached that read, "I know you hate when people send you chocolates because they think you won't like flowers because you're a guy. But you're the only guy I know that loves this shit as much as a woman does. Congrats, Ryouta. You deserve it after all the work you put in." He read the note over a dozen times, completely floored that Aomine remembered his preference for flowers over chocolates and for acknowledging the fact that Kise had worked for what he'd received.

After months of refusing to attend, Kise finally showed up at one of the basketball team's practices. He didn't pick up a ball, but he sat on the sidelines and watched Aomine direct the newcomers in his gruff fashion. After Aomine finished with his mentoring, he grabbed a ball of his own and captivated Kise all over again.

Practice ended and Aomine stayed late to shoot a few more hoops. Kise lingered to watch, claiming he was comfortable on the bench, until Aomine sauntered over––how does he make that look so sexy––and tossed him the ball. It took a few minutes of telling Kise he was afraid to lose, but eventually he took his first steps onto the court in years. He was rusty, but his ability to learn and imitate was still intact. He lost every game, but enjoyed every minute of it.

The one-on-one's started the day after. Being on the court with Aomine again was like a drug. The more he had the more he wanted and every game made his heart race, his skin tingle, and body ache. Aomine pushed him harder and harder every time, griping about how he wanted Kise on his A-game so he could have some real competition.

The day he finally beat Aomine in a game was the day their lips crashed together, and this time he remembered everything. He remembered the way his body fit against Aomine's, the way their lips moved in sync with one another, the way his body burned with every touch and ached from the strength of Aomine's grip. He eagerly offered up his apartment as a place to go and when there was no protest, he found himself wrapped in Aomine's arms on the couch once again. He didn't say the three words that he was sure Aomine wanted to hear, but by now he remembered that he had said them before.

Thankfully he had never promised to tell Aomine when he remembered. He wasn't sure he was ready to repeat them just yet.

~~~

"You're dating him again, aren't you?"

Kise bit his lip, worried that the truth would earn him a slap to the head.

"It's fine, Kise. I know you are."

"Senpai, I promise I won't fall apart again."

"I want to believe that. I believe you, but I don't believe Aomine." Kasamatsu kicked the dryer. It was the only way to get it to work. However, he might have kicked it a little harder than usual. "As long as you're happy, I don't care. But if he pulls the same thing again..."

Kise stifled a laugh. "He knows what you're like, senpai. Believe me, he doesn't want to make you mad."

Kasamatsu sighed and stepped back when the dryer shook itself to life. "For your sake, I hope he doesn't."

~~~

"Aominecchi, what are you––"

He should have seen this coming. Months had passed and he'd been nothing but unbearably happy with Aomine. Things had been a little too good. They had gone on numerous dates, many of which were things Kise had on his bucket list. He'd been spending more time at Aomine's apartment than at his own, oftentimes at Aomine's request. He should have known it was all too good to be true.

In fact, he almost wasn't surprised when he walked in on Aomine with his hands on those impressive breasts and his lips locked with those of Horikita Mai. Almost. Even though he knew about Aomine's undying love for the model, he couldn't get the sight out of his mind. Mai-chan was a beautiful woman with all the assets Aomine craved. He was a pretty face, sure, but he was a man. There were things Mai-chan could give that he never could.

The shouts that followed him out of the room––the "Ryouta, it's not what you think!" and the "Ryou-chan, I didn't know!"––were nothing more than confirmation of his suspicions and his pain. He heard footsteps behind him getting louder with each passing second, but he had one advantage here. He knew the entire layout of the modeling agency like the back of his hand. Slipping into a maintenance closet, he heard Aomine pass. He knew it was Aomine by the way he drew each heavy breath; that deep, ragged sound Kise was so familiar with after playing numerous games of one-on-one with him.

He pressed his hand over his mouth and sank to the floor, forcing himself to swallow the lump in his throat and keep the tears at bay. This was his own fault, after all. It was his idea to bring Aomine to the photo shoot once he found out Horikita Mai was going to be a part of it. He knew about Aomine's not-so-subtle obsession and had expected the desire to reach out and touch the rack he spent nights admiring, and Kise was ready to allow that. After all, Mai-chan was a new friend of his and she was too nice to deny a fan. A touch like that was innocent, he told himself, and would be no worse than an adamant fan wanting to shake his hand.

But they kissed... And Aomine looked like he was enjoying himself far too much. Neither one of them seemed ready to pull away and Kise suspected that they would've remained like that if he hadn't interrupted.

He spent a few hours on the floor of the closet before he composed himself enough to head home.

What am I supposed to tell senpai?

~~~

"Senpai..."

Kasamatsu looked up from the notes he was studying and frowned when he saw Kise's flushed face and swollen eyes. "Kise, what the hell––"

"Just how mad are you going to be?"

A heavy silence fell around them and Kise almost wanted to take his question back. He could have gotten away with not telling Kasamatsu until the pain had dulled, but he also knew that if his face was seen it would give everything away. Finally Kasamatsu spoke, his voice low, dangerous. "What did he do to you?"

"Senpai, I just want to make sure you aren't going to hurt him." He sighed and slowly made his way across the room. He heard a chair screech across the kitchen floor and he turned to hold up a hand to stop Kasamatsu in his tracks. "I'm going to be alright. I can deal with this. I don't want you to take the time out of your schedule to get involved."

"Kise, I can't promise that––"

"Please, senpai." He pulled his hand against his chest and felt the stuttering beat of his heart. It sounded as broken as it felt. "You have so much on your plate. If I add this I'll feel worse than I already do."

"Goddammit, Kise." Kasamatsu reached forward, but Kise stepped back to avoid the comforting hand. "If you won't let me beat his ass then at least let me comfort you."

Kise shook his head. "Later. I promise I can let you do that later." He was sick of feeling so weak when it came to Aomine and he knew that allowing comfort right now would result in a breakdown and he wasn't willing to let things get that bad. "Just give me a bit of time. Work on your studying, senpai. You gotta pass those tests."

He disappeared into his room and immediately started gathering everything he'd received from Aomine and everything that belonged him as well. He deleted Aomine's number from his phone, blocked his email address and even went so far as to check the school map so he could change his route on the way to class. There were numerous times during the day where he ran into Aomine and, knowing where he'd be, Kise found ways that would avoid him entirely.

If I have to lose you, Aominecchi, I'm not going to lose myself too.

~~~

Aomine knew it was a mistake for Kise to leave him alone with Horikita Mai, but he never meant for anything to happen. Sure, he was impressed by her breasts. Then again, who wouldn't be. It must be a common question, asking to touch them. That was all he wanted, to find out for himself if they felt as amazing as his mind assumed they would. Before Kise had received a message to meet with his manager, he had been chatting with Mai-chan and Aomine had sat on the sidelines, listening, watching, enraptured by the both of them. It was silent when Kise left and Mai-chan filled that with her own chatter that he eventually joined in on, admitting to his long-standing love of her magazines and gushing––almost in a Kise fashion––about how beautiful he thought she was.

Then he blurted out the embarrassing admittance that he'd always wondered if her chest felt as impressive as it looked and, as though she'd heard the speculation before, she told him he could see for himself.

That was how he found his hands on her chest and his mind completely blank in his excitement and his awe. Apparently it was a signature for her to kiss her biggest fans, similar to the way Kise winked at all the girls who claimed they loved him most of all. Of all the magazines he'd read, he had never come across this information. She told him only after Kise had walked in on them. She thought of it as a way of showing her gratitude, having studied overseas where such a thing was more acceptable than it was in japanese culture. Apparently it was information even Kise wasn't aware of.

As mortified as he was, she aided in his search for Kise. She was, after all, one of Kise's biggest fans as well. Without any luck, Aomine returned to the room where the photo shoot had taken place and snatched his phone off Kise's dressing room table. He sent Kise a few texts, tried to call, and even sent an email. He knew better than to expect an immediate response, but the lack of one days later worried him.

He tried visiting Kise's apartment, but received a tongue lashing from Kasamatsu and a warning that it would be much worse than that if he tried to return. He milled about campus, hoping to run into Kise in their usual meeting places, but Kise must have intentionally changed his route because no matter where Aomine went, he didn't run into Kise.

Kasamatsu was harsh during practice. He drilled Aomine harder than everyone else, his eyes barely concealing the rage Aomine knew he must have bottled inside. He couldn't blame him. Knowing Kise, he returned home with tear-streaked cheeks and swollen eyes and Kasamatsu must have jumped to the conclusion that it was Aomine's fault, and rightfully so. If Kise cried, it usually was his fault.

Guilt tore him apart inside. He wouldn't blame Kise if he never forgave him, but he wanted the chance to explain himself. When he said he had no intention of losing him ever again, he meant every word. Yet somehow fate was twisted enough to curse him with terrible luck and now he was chasing Kise all over again.

He finally built up the nerve to demand Kise's location from Kasamatsu. He expected to leave there in pain. Kasamatsu had turned that foot on him in practice more than once and he really started sympathizing with Kise for putting up with it for so long back when he went to Kaijou. Practice was over and Aomine waited until everyone left before approaching the captain. He noticed Imayoshi standing on the sidelines and hoped his former senpai would step in and take pity on him if Kasamatsu got out of hand.

"Oi, captain." He cringed at his own tone. It might have been wise to think over what he was going to say before approaching the volatile captain.

"Go home, Aomine. Practice is over." Kasamatsu tossed the final ball into the cart and started dragging it toward the storage room. "You aren't needed here."

Aomine grit his teeth. He shouldn't expect kind words, but each time Kasamatsu spoke it felt like he was trying to push Aomine away. He probably is trying to do that... "I just––wait, captain, I have a question. C'mon, wait up!"

Kasamatsu turned, a fire in his eyes that Aomine knew had been suppressed during practice. "If Kise hadn't asked me not to harm you..." He trailed off, hands balled into tight, shaking fists. "I hate you, Aomine Daiki. I despise you. I told him not to get back together with you. I knew you were going to hurt him again." He held up his hand when Aomine opened his mouth to speak. "I'm not going to listen to your excuses like Kise would. I'm not an idiot." He paused and threw his hands up in the air with a frustrated growl. "I want to hit you so badly," he hissed, jerking his arm out of Imayoshi's grasp when he came up beside him. He finally threw an arm forward, pointing an accusing finger at Aomine. "It's your fault," he growled. "It's your fault my roommate, my best friend is leaving. I hope you know that, Aomine. He's taking the last flight tonight to go to Europe. He claims its because he wants his modeling career to go international, but Kise has never wanted that. He's always been content here. Now he's leaving because he's trying to get away from the pain you left him with."

Aomine's heart leapt into his throat. Europe? He's leaving?

"Try and stop him if you really love him," Imayoshi said, wrapping his arms around Kasamatsu despite the captain's obvious struggle. "Yukio will stop blaming you if you bring Kise back, Aomine. Prove to both of them that you mean what you say." Imayoshi's lips curved into that devilish smirk that always made a shiver run up Aomine's spine. "If you fail, I won't try holding him back any longer."

He didn't need the threat to kick him into gear. He was already halfway to the door, frantically rummaging in his pocket for his keys as he checked the flight times on his phone.

Two and half hours till the last flight departs.He peeled out of the parking lot and tried calling Kise's phone, knowing his hope for an answer was futile. C'mon, Kise. Wait for me. Just wait those few fucking hours.

I can't lose you again, dammit.

~~~

When he arrived at the airport he started asking around for the last flight to Europe. Only then did he realize he didn't even know where in Europe Kise was headed. He had searched for the last flight that was headed to anywhere in Europe and he hadn't even thought to ask what country. Then again, Kasamatsu probably wouldn't have told him. There were so many flights leaving around the same time that Aomine wasn't sure he'd even have the time to catch Kise before he departed.

"Is there somewhere I can go to contact someone? My roommate left his glasses behind and I brought them for him. Damn idiot is blind without them. But I kinda––er... Kinda forgot where he was headed and he must've turned his phone off already."

Everyone he asked told him they had no way of contacting someone and Aomine was reluctant to drop Kise's name. Panicked, he darted down the hall toward the first gate that was headed to a country in Europe, but apparently Kise wasn't going to Italy. He wasn't going to France. He almost ruled out Greece, and after checking the gate he knew he should have, because he saw someone with their hair styled the same way as Kise's with a similar build and he made a fool of himself by nearly tackling the man to the ground. He should have known better than to assume that was Kise. He'd never wear such raggedy clothing in public and that man's hair wasn't nearly as beautiful as Kise's, nor was his smile, or eyes.

"Goddammit, Kise..." Aomine hissed. He was heading straight for the next gate when he pulled out his phone to check the time. One message appeared on his screen moments later.

Received from: Four-eyes

[text]: Your little model is heading to London, England.
[text]: Don't say I never offer any help. 

London... Kise's flight was boarding in half an hour and Aomine was in the wrong section of the airport. Frantic and terrified that he'd lose the last chance to prove he was sincere, he took off. Ignoring shouts of protest and anger, he darted around groups of people, leapt over rolling luggage, ducked around security guards who reacted too slowly to chase after him.

Twenty minutes left...

He was in the right section now and he could see the gate number for the flight Kise was boarding. Skidding to a halt, his eyes searched the crowd for a crop a shimmering blonde hair. Kise was seated in the corner, headphones firmly in his ears, staring out the window. Relief washed over him, but as he made his way through the seats the feeling slowly diminished. He had no reason to feel relieved just yet. For all he knew, his attempts to explain himself could prove as fruitless as his attempts to contact Kise over the past few weeks.

The way Kise jumped in his seat when he saw who was in front of him came as no surprise. In fact, Aomine half expected a slap to the face, so the lack of one was a slight comfort.

"Aominecchi, what the hell are you doing here?" Kise hissed, pulling his headphones from his ears.

"I need to talk to you," Aomine said, lowering himself to his knees in front of Kise's seat. He watched Kise's cheeks light up and saw him glance at the faces that must have turned in their direction. Aomine had never been good at ignoring the constant attention Kise received, but right now he had no reason to pay any attention to them. He was focused on Kise and Kise only. "You didn't answer any of my calls, or texts, or emails. How the hell else was I supposed to contact you?"

Kise's brows furrowed and he glanced away from Aomine's searching gaze. "I blocked you."

Should've known that. Aomine sighed. "That makes sense, I guess." Out of habit, he reached forward to grab Kise's hand, but grasped at air. Kise had pulled his hand back, shaking his head. "Fine, I won't do anything weird, I promise. Just hear me out."

"I'm leaving, Aominecchi. I don't have the time––"

"I need the time, Kise. Just a few minutes. Let me explain."

"Explain what? I don't need an explanation for what I saw. It's pretty self-explanatory. I knew you had a thing for Mai-chan, but I thought you were just a fan."

"I am! That's what I'm trying to explain to you. I didn't kiss her, Kise. She kissed me."

Kise laughed, but it was so short and clipped that it made Aomine flinch. "Are you kidding me right now? Aominecchi, I know I can be a little naive sometimes, but I'm not stupid. Mai-chan doesn't go around kissing people like that. She's––"

"But she does!" Aomine held up a finger to silence Kise as he rummaged in his pocket. "I can't prove it to you myself, but she wrote you a letter. I don't know if you told the post office to refuse letters from her too, but she said she tried sending it and it was returned to her."

Kise's eyes darkened. "Oh, so now you two talk all the time?"

Aomine sighed and shook his head. "It was just this once. She didn't know who else to go to because your manager said you refused to work with her again and wouldn't see her anymore." He held the letter out toward him. "Please, Kise, she really liked you. I can't believe my celebrity crush is a big fan of the guy I love, but she really does admire you. Take the damn letter and read it."

Though Kise hesitated, he eventually pulled the letter from Aomine's grasp. He read it in silence, but Aomine knew the contents of the letter already. He also knew that Kise had received more than a few fan letters from Mai-chan and was familiar with her handwriting and even knew what her signature looked like. At the very least, he could ensure that Kise would know that letter was sincere.

The silence after Kise finished the letter stretched on for so long that Aomine finally tapped Kise's knee to get his attention, worried about the time.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Aominecchi," Kise finally whispered after the prolonged silence. "I guess I have no choice but to believe this. This is Mai-chan's handwriting and she's one of the few people who call me Ryou-chan." He paused and pulled his eyes away from the letter to look out the window. "But I was still so hurt and... there were so many places you could have found me, but you didn't go to them. I may have taken measures to avoid you, but you're not stupid. You could've found a way to tell me this sooner. Yet you let me believe that you betrayed me for weeks. Weeks. It's not like you to give up unless you're not interested and..." He watched Kise swallow, the action appearing more difficult than it should have. Aomine assumed he was trying to suppress tears. "Maybe I was hoping you would find a way, despite everything I did to avoid you. It's stupid of me. No matter how much you hurt me, I keep coming back."

"But I didn't mean to hurt you, Kise, that's what I'm trying to––"

"You did hurt me. " Kise interrupted. "And its not like I expect this relationship to be perfect. Of course we're going to get into fights because we're different in a lot of ways, but you broke my heart twice, even if the second time wasn't intentional, and I still keep running back. Senpai told me I have a problem with letting go and he's right. So I'm doing the only thing I can think of to ensure that I can't go back to you." Kise finally glanced at Aomine and he could see the tears brimming in his eyes, so close to running down his pink cheeks. "I love you, Aominecchi, but I think we're meant to follow different paths. I'm going my way, you go yours. If we part like this, agreeing that this is better for us, then maybe it'll be easier."

Aomine shook his head. "Easier? For who?" He reached forward and grabbed Kise's hand before he could pull it out of reach. "I'm not going anywhere, Kise. If you're going one way then so am I. My path is your path." A voice came over the speakers above to remind those waiting that the flight would be boarding in under five minutes. "I told you already, I'm not letting you go. I made a mistake years ago because I wasn't myself. I guess it was depression, or something close to it, but I could barely handle being with myself, let alone with someone. But I should have held on and realized that the reason I was able to get up every morning and make it through the day was because you were a part of it. I let myself get so blinded that I didn't couldn't see that. I won't let that happen again. I won't lose you again. If that means that I have to follow you halfway across the world, then I will." He stood, leaning forward to peck Kise's lips. "I'm going with you. If you think I'm letting you go after you finally said you loved me, baka Kise, then you're even more an idiot than I thought you were."

When he turned to head toward the desk, Kise's grip tightened and he pulled Aomine back. "But what about basketball? What about school? You'll get scouted for the national team, I know you will. I can't let you give that up for me."

"I'm sure England has basketball too. I don't give a shit where I play. I give a shit if you're not with me."

Kise's head fell forward and he pressed his free hand over his eyes. Aomine's expression softened and he knelt in front of Kise again. It took a moment for it to register, but Aomine finally heard a soft mumble from Kise's lips.

"What was that?"

"I don't want to go to England, Aominecchi," he whispered. "I don't wanna leave my family and my friends. I like modeling here. I love the agency and I love the people. I want to stay home."

Aomine smiled and reached forward, brushing his fingers across Kise's cheek. "With me?"

Kise nodded and finally lifted his head with Aomine's urging fingers guiding his face toward his own.

"I can't hear you, baby," Aomine whispered against Kise's lips.

Kise's shuddering breath hit his lips and Aomine grinned. "With you, baka Aominecchi."

Aomine kissed him. He didn't care who was looking, who was taking pictures, or who was talking about it behind his back. It took years for him to hear those words and he wanted the world to know that Kise Ryouta belonged to him and only him, that Kise Ryouta would stay for him. It was Kise who held his heart from the day he hit the back of the that beautiful blonde head and even though his grip tightened so much sometimes it hurt, Aomine accepted that pain because he held Kise's heart in his own hands and he had no intention of ever letting it go.

"Ah," Kise pulled back, cheeks flushed. He kept his eyes directed downward and Aomine lifted a hand to urge his face upward when Kise caught it in his grasp and brought it down to his lap. Beneath their hands was a small box, perfectly wrapped in shimmering paper. Aomine stared, wondering where it came from, why it was there, before Kise took his hand and closed his fingers around it. "Happy Birthday, Aominecchi."

Aomine blinked in surprise. In his frantic haste he'd completely forgotten what day it was, too preoccupied with finding Kise to care. The box was light and when he shook it he could hear a faint rattling inside. "Kise, what the hell were you––"

"I was going to take it with me," he whispered. "I figured if I ever got over what happened I could send it to you as an apology for leaving and a goodbye gift. I bought it weeks ago, before Mai-chan happened, and I was holding it ever since."

"So you held on to this... for me?" It seemed like an inconsequential thing, this tiny box that held who knows what. Truthfully, it didn't matter what lay inside. It was something from Kise's heart and he had intended to hold it so that, even miles away, even when he was trying to run from Aomine, he wouldn't forget him. That alone was gift enough for Aomine. He wrapped his arms around Kise's waist and pressed their foreheads together. "Goddammit, Kise," he breathed, letting his eyes drift shut.

Kise let out a laugh that sounded like it might have wanted to be a sob. "Baka Aominecchi, open the gift."

"Later," Aomine said, closing the small distance between their lips. After all, they were now his to claim whenever he wanted. "Let me enjoy the best gift of all first."