Chapter Text
She had been feeling the urge to sneak into Kylo Ren’s room for months now. Every time she went down the hallway his room was located on, she would feel herself shift herself to the side of the hall that his door was located. To avoid getting stabbed through the stomach with Kylo’s lightsaber or a possible beheading, she ignored these urges to the best of her abilities. She pushed them and her force abilities down as far as she could. She stopped going down that hallway unless it was completely necessary or a mandatory part of her route. That was until it got worse. In the past weeks, it had changed from small urges to internal movements so violent it felt like her body was screaming at her. She still did her best to ignore it. This had been going on for two and a half weeks at this point. FN-2187, her best friend, had noticed the change, but he wasn’t the only one. She was just a normal stormtrooper, but she was often trusted with higher jobs. She had been assigned to walk with General Hux several times over the years and he had noticed the sudden slowness in her walking when they passed through that hall. At first, he thought that she had just slowed down to irritate him, but even with her being suited up, her hand over her stomach explained to him enough that she was in pain. He ordered her to go to the hospital portion of the ship because FN-2213 “needs to be in perfect fighting order”. She knew that wasn’t the only reason. He was really worried about her, he just had to keep up appearances. She went to the doctors. They found nothing wrong. Her pain continued. She had been well enough to fight that day on Jakku, so she found herself standing in front of FN-2187, in the middle of several other stormtroopers on the ship who were preparing themselves mentally for battle.
She hated that this was her job, but she didn’t have much choice in the matter. She had no name, but the set of numbers and letters they had given her. She was taken from her family so young she didn’t know who they were, or if they were even alive. She doubted they were, but there was still a part of her that hoped. She had no idea what system she was born in, let alone what planet her family had settled on. She was so deep in her thoughts she barely noticed that the door to the ship had opened, or that her feets had started to carry her out. It was almost as if she was a machine, programmed to take steps toward dictatorship and kill innocents.
Explosions. Yelling. Crying. The vague sounds of blasters firing. All sounds she was completely desensitized to, but unlike her fellow stormtroopers, she had never become accustomed to the sights of destruction. The soul-crushing looks on people’s faces and the pure terror in their eyes were enough to send her packing, but there is never really an escape from the First Order. Whether your still fighting for them or you get out and you’re constantly running from them, there is really no end. While thinking about what has been lost during her life, she only shoots those who shoot directly at her. She does no more than defend herself. She never wants to fight innocent people who just want to keep their homes stormtrooper free, but sometimes they gave her no choice.
She had lost FN-2187 in the chaos, it was hard to tell who was who when in uniform on the base let alone on the battlefield. She just hoped that he would survive the fight, she didn’t know if she would last if something happened to him. She became so distracted by the thoughts of her only real friend that the blaster she carried was knocked from her hands by a feisty resident. He was strong, fairly young, and intended to kill her. They fought back and forth, fist to fist until suddenly something that had never happened before took over her mind.
“Coming up behind you is a resistance pilot!”
She knocked the person she had been fighting down with a swift swooping kick to the legs and quickly turned around to grab the pilot’s fist in her hand. A voice in her head had warned her of him. A voice that wasn't her own. Why he hadn’t tried to shoot her with the blaster that rested against his midsection she had no idea, but she couldn’t focus on anything, but the voice in her head and the shocked look on the pilot’s face. Though there was utter chaos happening around them, they stood there in shocked silence. “Your reflexes are so quick I would guess you were a sith if it weren’t for the stormtrooper getup.” He teased slightly. How could he be so calm at a moment like this?
“I don’t have the force if that’s what you’re implying rebel,” She replied flatly. She couldn’t let on to what was really going through her head.
“I’ve never met a stormtrooper like you before,” he said as he swiftly attempted to hit FN-2213 in the stomach with his blaster.
She easily dodged it, “How many of us have you really had a conversation with?”
She attempted an uppercut, he jumped back just enough for it to miss, “A good few. What’s your name?”
She furrowed her brows, but answered anyway as they continued in their vague attempt at hand to hand combat, “FN-2213.”
He stopped fighting for a moment, “That’s not a name.”
She shrugged, “That’s what they gave me. I was taken from my home so young I don’t remember it or my name.”
“I’m Poe,” He replied. They were off to the side, behind the dunes now.
“Say something back. He could be your ticket out of the first order.” There the voice was again.
“It’s… nice to meet you, Poe.”
“Good. Now shake his hand.”
She put her hand out for him, he took it almost instantly. After a few seconds, he let go. She was going to take her helmet off, but he became suddenly distracted by the events going on outside of their conversation. Neither of them had noticed Kylo Ren’s ship landing, but they both saw him kill a man with his lightsaber. Poe jumped out from their hiding spot behind the dunes and attempted to blast the sith. FN-2213 wish she could have stopped him, but it happened so quickly the force couldn’t warn her. He was taken by two stormtroopers up to Kylo Ren. She held her breath as she watched the interaction. After a quick search, he was taken captive and she headed off around the other side of dunes so she could rejoin the rest of the troopers. She picked up a blaster from one of the fallen troopers on her way, only to be immediately met with the order to kill all of the villagers. She aimed the blaster, but she did not fire, she could not bring herself to. She noticed another stormtrooper doing the same thing a little ways away, she hoped that it was FN-2187. After the deeds were done by the other stormtroopers, she headed back to her ship, an inexplicable heaviness in her heart.
《\/》/\《\/》
While she could not find FN-2187 right away, she knew there was someone that she would be able to find. She made her way to General Hux’s quarters. They were tucked away in a far off hallway. She thought maybe seeing him would straighten out her feelings more. She fidgeted as she stood in front of the door, suddenly debating if this was a good idea or not. She felt like someone was watching or listening in. As if Armitage could read her mind with the force, the door opened. His lips curled upward in a slight smile, “You’re back from Jakku.”
“Indeed I am, may I come in?” She asked. Normally, even with her helmet hiding it, she would have been smiling, but something changed in her today.
He stepped to the side slightly, “I have about thirty minutes until I’m expected anywhere and I’ll tell Phasma something to keep her off your back.”
“Much appreciated,” She replied as the door shut and she took off her helmet.
His smile grew wider, “How in the galaxy did I get a beautiful girl like you to fall for me.”
Her expression faltered, but she fixed it as quickly as she could, “I don’t know, I ask myself a similar question quite often.”
His face stiffened slightly, “So what has brought you here? I know you wouldn’t normally risk trying to find me during work hours.”
He was right, coming here was a big risk, but she needed clarity. “Have you ever thought about leaving?”
His look became startled, “What?”
“Leaving the First Order. Settling somewhere way on the outer rim and living a normal life?” She continued.
His expression turned to one of disgust, “You must be joking Star. I would never leave the First Order for a life like that.”
Star. His name for her because she didn’t have one. She expected that answer from him, but she secretly hoped for something different. “So you wouldn’t run away with me?”
He scoffed, “What’s gotten into you? What happened on Jakku that’s shaken you up so suddenly?”
It wasn’t suddenly. She had just kept it from him because she figured this is how he would react. She had made up her mind now, she was going to leave with FN-2187, with or without Armitage. She let out a soft sigh, she reached up and set one hand on his cheek. “Nothing’s happened. I’ll be fine.” She gave him a kiss on his other cheek, “Goodbye Armitage.” She pulled back before he could do much about it, swiftly putting her helmet back on.
“Get some sleep, your thoughts will be more aligned when you wake up,” He replied, ignoring a gesture she hoped he would catch. Goodbye. They never used that word. It was always ‘see you soon’.
She didn’t say anything, she just left the room. She was on a mission to find FN-2187 and get the hell off this nightmare ship. “He was a real piece of work.” The voice yet again chimed in. It wasn’t hers and it felt invasive.
“It’s really none of your business. Who are you anyway?” She thought, replying back to this strange voice.
“I am your ally. I’ve always been here, but now is a time I can actually help.”
“How so?”
“I’ve trying to tell you to go into Kylo Ren’s room for weeks now, but you seem to ignore all physical signs to do something. I decided I had to reveal myself. This is the start of your journey. You need something from in there.”
“Your what’s been causing me physical pain every time I walk down that hallway? Not really much of a friend are you? Also what the hell journey could I possibly be going on and what could I need from Ren’s room? I am just a stormtrooper. No more, no less.”
The voice chuckled, it was for some reason a soothing sound. “You really have no idea how much you are capable of. Go to Kylo Ren’s room. Trust in the force. It will show you the way.”
“I feel like this is a terrible idea and if I get killed I’m going to figure out how to haunt you from the afterlife.”
Again he chuckled, “You don’t even know my name.”
“As I said, I’d figure it out.”
She got the feeling that even if she asked he would not tell her his name so she did not bother. She decided to stop at her quarters first to get cleaned up. Even though she was not injured, her suit was still fairly dirtied and her skin was slicked with sweat. She knew her unit would be given time to reassemble, so she was going to take advantage of it.
It didn’t take her long to reach the small space and she smiled brightly as she realized who was the only other person there, “2187!”
He turned around, he already had his helmet off. Even though she didn’t have hers off yet, he could tell it was her by the sound of her voice. “2213! You made it back. Where have you been?” He asked as the pair hugged. She pulled back from the embrace and grimaced. “What happened?”
“I asked Armitage if he would ever think about running away with me. He basically looked at me like I was wearing a hat made of live porgs,” She explained. FN-2187 laughed a bit at the descriptor, but he felt sorry for her.
“You had to be expecting that.”
“I was, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I thought that after being together for over a year he would consider it, but I guess not. It doesn’t matter though. You and I are getting out of here, with or without him.”
FN-2187 gave her a look, “Are you sure?”
She nodded, “He would rather marry his general’s uniform than me. We need to get out.”
“Any ideas on how to do that?” She gave him a look, “I don’t like what you’re doing with your face. Every time you do that I know we’re about to do something outrageously stupid.”
“Okay here me out though.”
“Alright.”
“You know how I’ve been feeling sick every time I pass Ren’s room? I’ve finally figured out why.”
FN-2187 smiled, “That’s great, but how does that help us get out of here?”
“It’s the force that’s been doing that to me. It’s been trying to tell me something in there is meant to help me. When we were on Jakku, I was almost killed by someone coming up behind me, but a voice in my head told me to watch out. When we got back it told me that something to help me start my journey is behind that door,” FN-2213 explained.
“You know you sound actually insane right? What journey are you starting?” FN-2187 asked.
FN-2213 looked him straight in the eye, “I think it is the start of my journey as a Jedi.”
The stormtrooper sighed, “Alright. If you think it’s absolutely necessary, we can try to get whatever it is.”
“It is necessary. While I do that, you find that Rebel Pilot Poe. We’re going to need him to fly us out of here,” FN-2213 said.
He nodded, “Okay. Be careful and meet me by the ships.”
“I will, and don’t worry if anyone tries to get in my way I’ll force choke them.”
FN-2187 rolled his eyes, “You can’t solve all your problems by force choking people.”
“Why not?”
“You’re not a sith.”
“I could be a sith.”
“No you couldn’t, you’re too nice.”
It was her turn to roll her eyes, “Whatever, I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon.”
《\/》/\《\/》
After parting ways with FN-2187, she b-lined for Ren’s room. She knew that he wouldn’t be around right now, so it was her best shot at getting in and out without a fight. As she approached, for the first time in weeks there was no pain, just the force radiating in her. It was still guiding her, still screaming for her to listen, but somehow it was so much more comforting now that she had given in to it. She looked both ways before opening the door, nothing much on the ship locked. She was a little surprised at what she found, it looked a little more like a museum than a bedroom. Pieces of history, ancient relics were up on pedestals. She gulped at the sight of Darth Vader’s helmet. She could feel the voice’s presence in her head, though he hadn’t said anything yet. She guessed that he wanted her to figure it out. She closed her eyes for a moment, with the help of the force, she could feel that what she was looking for was still farther into the room. She opened her eyes and looked to her left, that’s when she saw it. The metal hilt of an old lightsaber. It was well taken care of, she could only tell that it was old because it was Jedi made and had a few chips here and there. She walked toward it slowly, slightly afraid that her movements might trigger some unseen alarm. She stood in front of it for a moment, her body screaming at her to pick it up.
“Take it.”
She pulled off her helmet, setting it to the side. She lifted her hand over the metal and grasped around it. Slowly she lifted it completely off its stand and rested it in both of her hands. She was enraptured by it. It gave her a sense of hope, peace, and tranquility. She and the voice were both so caught up in it, they didn’t notice an unwanted visitor joining them in the large bedroom. “How have I never sensed you before?”
Her eyes widened and her head snapped toward the doorway, Kylo Ren slowly stepping toward her. He didn’t have his mask on, but he didn’t feel any less threatening that way.
Oh shit. This is where I die.
“Your power, it’s overwhelming. The force is so strong with you, how could I not see it before?” She took a step back as he continued forward. “You’re FN-2213 correct? The stormtrooper General Hux favors? Don’t think just because I have never noticed your power I haven’t noticed your presence. Even without the saber you’re holding, you’re a talented fighter. It’s no wonder Hux always picks you for assignments.”
If he only knew.
He was now only a foot from her, she was clutching the saber so tightly her knuckles were turning white, “The dark side can make you stronger. Join me and I will show you the way.” He extended his hand to her.
She stared at it. There’s no way she could accept his offer, the whole reason she had forced her powers down for so long was so she wouldn’t have to become a sith. She looked between the lightsaber and the sith in front of her. She shifted the lightsaber to face upward and turned it on. She got into a battle stance. Kylo’s face fell.
“That’s too bad, I didn’t want to have to kill you.”
The clashing sounds of the saber could be heard throughout the hallways near the room, but the directions from the mysterious voice could only be heard in her head.
“Left!”
“Right!”
“Duck!”
“Jump back!”
FN-2213 fought valiantly, but FN-2187 and his new friend Poe could hear the scream from several rooms away.