Chapter Text
Jaehyun chews on his bottom lip anxiously as he opens the nth door in search of Taeyong. It’s past 10pm and Jaehyun's currently at the company building. He got off class sooner than expected and decided to surprise a very special hyung of his but his plan was ruined when Yuta told him that Taeyong was still working at the studio. On his own. Again.
Finally, after twenty-or-so unsuccessful tries, Jaehyun opens the door to one of the smallest and least used practice rooms to find Taeyong sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor intensely watching something on the laptop.
He seems to not even have noticed Jaehyun's presence just yet so he softly knocks on the door, mimicking the sound with his prepuberty voice. At that, Taeyong looks up with wide eyes and an alarmed expression, probably expecting it to be a staff member yet again to tell him to go home already. But the moment Taeyong makes eye contact with Jaehyun, he visibly relaxes and turns his head back to the screen.
“Hyung, that’s enough for tonight,” Jaehyun says in a scratchy voice. The vocalist crosses his arms over his chest defiantly, and begins to tap his foot on the laminated floor as Taeyong continues to ignore him. Jaehyun purses his lips, glancing around the room. “It’s late… you should come home and just pick this back up when we all come back tomorrow.”
“I… I can’t yet,” Taeyong tells him, earning a sigh of exasperation from Jaehyun. “Now that I know I'll be the leader I need to make sure everything is perfect for our debut. If... If I screw this up, I screw up all of our chances, and I don't want that for any of you. I can’t have that on my shoulders.”
Jaehyun remains quiet for a moment, staring with an unreadable gaze at the older. He can see Taeyong pressing his lips together, looking more nervous than usually and Jaehyun hates to see that face on his hyung. He hates to see Taeyong struggling. He wants to see him happy. And smiling. And laughing. Possibly all the time. Taeyong looks the best when he’s happy and free of worries.
Jaehyun silently walks closer to Taeyong and when he’s at arm’s reach, he softly squeezes Taeyong’s shoulder, making the older nearly jump out of his skin. A few seconds later he sets his other hand atop his damp shirt, slowly sliding their way down from Taeyong’s shoulders. Taeyong remains rigidly still under Jaehyun and, even if Jaehyun can feel every fiber of his being on fire as he wraps his arms around Taeyong’s neck, he only hugs him tighter from behind.
“You’re already doing amazing, hyung,” Jaehyun softly says disentangling from Taeyong and sitting on the floor next to him. He’s only half disappointed about the fact that Taeyong didn’t hug him back, because he honestly doesn’t know if he could’ve stopped himself from kissing the older if he would’ve turned around. But Jaehyun would never take advantage of him like that since he knows that that it’s not what Taeyong wants. He doesn’t want him. It hurts, but Jaehyun is okay with it. He’s happy to just keep loving Taeyong and being his friend. Jaehyun tries to convince himself that that is more than enough for him.
Taeyong doesn’t say anything but he has stopped the video he was watching. That means he’s considering it. But now Taeyong’s nervously fidgeting with his fingers. And Jaehyun doesn't like that either.
“Come have dinner with me?” Jaehyun asks after a few seconds, finally breaking the silence that had followed his earlier words, taking Taeyong’s hands in his to hopefully stop his nervousness. Taeyong’s taken aback for a moment, having not expected such an offer. But it’s not the first time they’d do it, either. It used to be a tradition between the two of them, but they stopped doing it a few months back, when they became too busy preparing for their debut.
“Come on, Taeyongie hyungie!” Jaehyun practically whines, pulling Taeyong by the hand.
Jaehyun can see Taeyong trying to bite back a sigh as he allows himself to be tugged along, though he can also see the small smile and a soft pink flush appearing across his face and down his neck.
Taeyong gives Jaehyun a small nod, and closes the laptop. Jaehyun clears his throat, and stands up, offering his hand again to Taeyong, who takes it without hesitation.
And so, together, the two leave the building much more exhilarated than either would think possible. Jaehyun glances over at Taeyong as they walk, finding that radiant smile he’s come to adore so much. The older probably feels his gaze on him, and glances at Jaehyun out of the corner of his eye, only to see a look of absolute adoration and affection, a foolish, smitten smile blatant on Jaehyun’s handsome features.
Jaehyun finds himself slipping his own hand into Taeyong’s ever so gently before he can stop himself. The older is clearly surprised, judging by the way his eyes widen. A small laugh escapes Jaehyun before he can stop it, but this only brings the widest, purest smile Jaehyun has ever seen to Taeyong’s face, and Jaehyun feels himself getting much too attached already. Though, strangely, he doesn’t think he minds it. After all, his hyung deserves all the love in the world possible and, knowing he's one of the reasons Taeyong is happy fills him full of pride and satisfaction.
They finally come to a stop in front of a cute little samgyetang restaurant near the river. Jaehyun looks over to Taeyong, making sure he knows where they are. Taeyong smiles faintly, his eyes shining wistfully as the memories from all the past nights overtake his mind.
“You remember?” Jaehyun asks. Taeyong shyly smiles over at the younger, somewhat amused by the nervous tone to his voice.
“As if I could ever forget,” he replies, pressing himself closer to Jaehyun’s side. Pink dusts his cheeks in the most adorable of ways, and it’s Jaehyun’s incredible will what keeps him from kissing Taeyong right at that moment. Lately, Jaehyun notices, it’s been getting more and more difficult to not do it. For now, he’ll just remain content with squeezing Taeyong’s hand a bit tighter.
Despite now having enough money just in their pockets to buy one bowl for each, they still only buy one to share it. Taeyong eats noticeably less than Jaehyun, though, as he can tell the younger is obviously very hungry indeed.
By the time they finish eating, it's almost midnight. They linger on a bench, sitting as close as they dare to as they watch the beautiful shades of the bright moon reflect themselves against the water’s surface. Jaehyun glances over at Taeyong for the millionth time that day, his heart pounding a bit harder in his chest at the sheer love for this man. He leans over, casually resting an arm against the back of the bench.
“I, um,” Jaehyun mutters, kneading his bottom lip between his teeth, suddenly nervous, “not to quote High School Musical and ruin the moment, but we’re all in this together, hyung,” Jaehyun says, earning a snort from Taeyong, his warm breath tickling his ear against the chilly air. “You don’t have to do all the work alone. You have all of us,” and after a few moments, “you have me.” Taeyong looks over at him, beaming from ear to ear.
“Definitely.” He pauses to sigh, resting his head atop the younger’s shoulder. “Thank you, Jaehyunnie. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Jaehyun chuckles under his breath, his fingers gripping onto Taeyong’s arm to keep him warm and safe.
“Let’s never find out. I- I love you, hyung… I’ll always be here for you.”
“I love you too, Hyunnie.”
Jaehyun deeply sighs. Not the way I want you to, though.
It’s not the first time Jaehyun confesses to Taeyong. And it definitely won’t be the last one, either. He knows Taeyong only sees him as his cute dongsaeng and friend and nothing more.
I’ll just have to work harder for you to notice me, Jaehyun thinks. One day, when things are easier, I’ll say it again and you’ll say it back, meaning it such as much as I do.
What Jaehyun doesn’t know yet, though, is that Taeyong does, in fact, mean it just as much as he does.