Work Text:
-1-
“Does it taste like lemon?”
Jeongguk doesn't quite understand why all the fuss.
It's lunchtime and the sun is barely filtering through the curtains of the classroom. For the past fifteen minutes -he has checked it on the clock- all his female classmates have clustered around Hyejoo, who happens to sit next to him.
Not to mention, he has forgotten his headphones back at home because he overslept and that morning he barely had the time to pick a few coins and a couple of emergency bills his mother saved on the first drawer of the kitchen just in case.
(This is exactly the case)
If he has brought his keys and backpack, if he has packed the report of the day, if he's not wearing his underwear over his clothes and if he has enough money on his pockets to grab something to eat, he considers himself a lucky man.
And still... he could really use a pair of headphones and some playlist -any playlist- at this very, precisely moment.
Yeah, he was hungry but he trusted Mingyu would come back soon with something to eat from the cafeteria -or maybe he had run away with his lunch money by that point, otherwise what the hell was taking him so long?
Jeongguk tried to bury his face on his hands, cover his ears and isolate himself under a coat -this one failed because it's not even that cold to wear a coat... huh, he had brought that and not the headphones- but it is impossible to block the sound of their voices.
Right when Chaerim asks “Does it taste like lemon?” once again after not being listened the first time, Jeongguk feels like he's about to explode.
He dramatically slams the table and throws his head back before looking at them and exclaiming: “Why are you so noisy today?”
They all give him their signature dirty glare being Hyejoo the first creating some sort of mean girl chain reaction even with a small group of five girls, Jeongguk would be lying if he says he doesn't feel a little intimidated (okay, a lot).
He quickly straightens up on the chair and clears his voice. “I mean, could you please tone it down? I'm right here next to you but I think even the people on the running track have heard you.”
Hyejoo rolls her eyes.
“What?” He asks.
“You wouldn't understand anyway.” Dahae says while crossing her arms on her chest. They are obviously pissed since Jeongguk tried to silence them.
But Chaerim takes pity on him and with a big bright smile she announces “Hyejoo had her first kiss this weekend.”
His classmates scream and giggle all together while Hyejoo covers her flushed cheeks.
Jeongguk blinks a couple of times. He can feel how his own cheeks are getting pink and warm. “A-And that's important because?”
“Jeongguk! It's her first real kiss, we're not talking only about pecks or kisses on the cheek...”
Without wasting a second, the girls are back on it.
“Did he use too much tongue?"
“How was it?”
“How long did it last?”
Adding Chaerim's recurrent question: “Does it taste like lemon?”
“What's that lemon thing?” He shyly asks from his seat dragging the attention back to him once again.
“Ah, that's because my cousin says that when you kiss someone for the first time that's the flavor you feel in your mouth.” The girl explains. “But is it true?”
Hyejoo, who's the girl of the moment, just waves her hand. Her ego is still a bit hurt because of Jeongguk's interruption and she takes her chance to get back at him. “Why don't we ask Jeongguk too? After all, he must know more about it.”
Jeongguk's face transitions from the tender peach pink to a bright flamboyant fuchsia. "Uh... I..."
He scratches the back of his neck and looks away.
The girls are surrounding him now.
"Are you dating someone?"
"Wait, since when?" Another meddles.
"Is that senior that walks with you after class?" Dahae is tugging his arm.
His face is burning.
This would be a perfect time to vanish from Earth.
He wasn't prepared for that surprise attack.
He just wanted to eat his lunch in peace, dammit.
"Ya, why are you buzzing around him like flies?" Yuna asks from the window frame of the classroom and Jeongguk has never felt so relieved on his entire life when he spots his savior.
"We're just talking with Jeongguk about his vast experience in the dating world." Hyejoo smiles maliciously.
The girl outside clicks her tongue. "And why do you act as you'd know a thing about it? You're a bunch of prudes."
It is tacitly agreed to say that "offended" runs short for their reaction.
However, Jeongguk took that as his cue to run away as fast as he could.
Yuna finds him shortly after sitting in one staircase with a bottle of banana milk between his hands and a downhearted expression on his face.
She taps his shoulder. "Hey, is everything okay? You know you don't have to get carried away with the things those harpies say."
"I know... It's just... I'm starving."
The girl shakes her head.
Some things never change.
"Are you sure?"
He nods. "I can take a few hits."
Yuna remembers when he was just his small neighbor from next door who cried every time he lost at playing hide and seek. Her first instinct is still to protect him from the world.
Jeongguk pouts. "I'm hungry and I don't know where's Mingyu with my food."
"Ah, he's probably grounded for trying to flirt with a teacher... again."
Jeongguk growls.
“But let's go find him.” She offers.
Jeongguk follows her through the hallway.
“Can you believe all the commotion they made? Imagine being that scandalous over a kiss.” Yuna comments whilst they look for Mingyu.
“Ah, yeah...” Jeongguk keeps walking.
It's just a kiss, right?
-2-
“Hyung! Over here!” Jeongguk waves toward his direction to be spotted in the crowd.
A blonde head turns around as soon as he recognizes his voice.
Taehyung -imposing some fashion trend- is wearing the uniform tie on his head instead of his neck, a few buttons of his sky blue shirt are undone and he has what it looks like a half popsicle on his mouth as he drags his backpack in one hand and a ton of books on the other.
“Jeongguk!” Or at least that's what Jeongguk understands he's trying to say. “Sorry I'm late, I was picking some books from the library. My card almost got revoked again.”
“Ah, it's okay. I had to go back and leave Mingyu's stuff on his locker.”
“Do I wanna know?”
“Not really.”
“Wanna share a chocolate bar? It seems like you could use some sweetness in your life right now.” The elder offers as they walk toward the bus stop.
“Actually, yes. I'm just glad I'm out, this day isn't ending fast enough.” He sighs.
“That was a long one.” He playfully pokes the younger’s cheek. “Do you want to share it with the class Jeonggukkie?”
Jeongguk smiles weakly. “Just school stuff, forget about it.” He looks at the chocolate piece on his fingers. “I have no proof but I don't have doubts either your sugar consumption has increased lately… And I mean... drastically.”
“Maybe.” Taehyung chews. “It's almost time for the exam and, at first, I thought it was because I'm experiencing some serious anxiety but then I realized that the sugar keeps me awake having more energy to study.”
It's true.
Time has gone by.
Taehyung's college entrance exam is near and that's just a continuous reminder, a bucket of cold water for him. That's his last year at school.
As days end and begin again, the date is closer and closer.
Taehyung is a senior and Jeongguk doesn't want to admit it or consider he still has two more years in there because those are two years without Taehyung.
He doesn't know what it's like to be far from him and he's sure he doesn't want to discover it either.
He's fine, they are fine, things are just fine in the way they are now.
Excluding the fact he barely sees the elder since he started studying.
Why things must change?
He's been holding onto, trying to ignore it, erase it from his thoughts.
But as Taehyung walks just a couple of steps ahead from him, he realizes there will always be a couple of steps that feel like kilometers separating them.
And it's not only about physical distance.
“...and the tutoring sessions are so expensive.” He looks haggard. “Even my grandma sent me money so I don't have to take another job. It feels like a burden.”
Jeongguk slides his bus card as they climb onto the vehicle. Both of them sit together at the back.
“Taehyung that's crazy, you barely can balance your current job and the studying hours... while not dying in the process.”
“That's debatable. I think I've spent more time in the study room this week than at home.” Taehyung complains.
The elder looks through the window at how the lights in the city are slowly starting to shine as the sun goes down.
“But I don't want to bore you with the details. I'm always talking about the same these days. Let’s change the subject.”
Jeongguk wants to say he's not bored, he knows his friend is currently under a big amount of pressure and this is his way of releasing some stress out of his body. However, he shrugs and proceeds to tell the boy about his disastrous day.
“The girls from my class were making a fuss today.”
“Huh? I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Just because I feel like it’s silly in comparison… a silly high school thing that-”
“Jeongguk… I don’t think high school problems are silly. Can you stop doing that?” There’s something about the deep tone of his voice that makes Jeongguk shiver. “Minimizing what’s going on in your life is not healthy.”
“You just did.” The younger looks away.
“That’s different. I talk about the exam, my job, college applications and loans all day. You barely speak. You can trust me every little thing, we’re friends after all. Best friends.”
Jeongguk can taste the bitterness in the back of his mouth and the big knot on his throat.
“Something about a first kiss... a real first kiss.” He admits while avoiding the elder’s curious gaze.
Taehyung’s eyes spark at the subject, he squints for a moment and then stretches his legs and crosses his arms behind his neck.
“Uh, first kisses… I don't remember much of my first kiss actually.” Taehyung says it so carefreely making Jeongguk's jaw drop.
“What? I don't! It was a long ago and it was probably awful that's why.” He pretends to put a lot of thought into it. “I just remember a bottle spinning and someone from my class.” The elder snatches the borrowed earphone from Jeongguk's neck and puts it on his ear.
A tender melody of a ballad sung by Heize tickles him and now Jeongguk knows they both are on the same page. Maybe not with what they are going through at this very moment but music has the magical quality of synchronizing people under the same experience even if it’s ephemeral, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes, feelings are shared in that instant.
“What they say about how it gets better with time is a lie. It completely depends on the person.” Taehyung confesses.
Not that Jeongguk would know anyway.
The younger is still in disbelief. “But the first kiss shouldn't be... special?”
Maybe he’s too young, maybe he’s just naïve but Jeongguk has always had this romantic perception about firsts. First kiss, first love.
“How was yours?” Taehyung asks while half humming the song playing.
“I… uh… I haven’t precisely…” Jeongguk wishes to vanish at the moment Taehyung understands his words completely.
“Wait. Wasn't your first kiss when you were five? At your cousin's birthday party, under the cake table?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow.
Jeongguk blushes. “That was just a peck. I mean a real kiss. A kiss that's meant to be a kiss.”
“A kiss… with tongue?” He inquires and Jeongguk goes from red to burgundy.
“No! I mean, yes… I mean… a real kiss?” He clicks his tongue.
“And, according to you and your classmates what does that imply?”
Jeongguk it’s quiet for a moment while recalculating.
“I-I don’t know… I thought we have stated that I don’t know!”
“Hey, you don’t have to be so defensive about it. It’s okay, it’s normal. Everyone has their own times.”
“I’m just… so tired of being clueless about things in general. It’s frustrating.”
It’s not only about physical distance.
Taehyung gives him space and Jeongguk is thankful because he doesn’t want to fight.
They don’t say a word for a while, their stop is nearby and the silence is filled by the music coming from the earphone. Taehyung is tired and he doesn’t have the strength to argue right now and Jeongguk keeps his feelings to himself as usual.
They get off the bus at their stop and wave before splitting into two different directions.
It has always been like this. Jeongguk recalls.
Taehyung living in parallel to him; they were always close but not close enough. As kids it was easier, one of them would usually ask their parents to take them to the other’s house to play, with the age difference eventually Taehyung would be the first to run over Jeongguk’s house. He told him about all the things he lived, his first day in high school, his first party, his first study trip abroad, when he got his driver’s license when he drank alcohol at a party and ended up puking… now that he thought about it, that first kiss was probably at the same party but for some reason that was a detail, he had kept for himself.
Jeongguk leaves his shoes at the entrance along with his backpack and sits in there for a moment before letting a big sigh out of his chest.
“I’m home.” He announces but the empty house doesn’t reply.
He stretches and then manages to clean the living room, wash the dishes left sinking and finishes his homework in less than an hour.
Now what?
There’s not much left to do. He would usually text Taehyung and invite him over to play videogames or binge-watch a newly discovered anime but now he feels like he’s just hampering him.
His not-so-subtle crush had started about a year ago, although, Jeongguk suspected it had begun way back only he didn’t recognize it at the moment or he confused it with admiration or deep affection towards his best friend. It wasn’t until hormones hit he knew… he knew knew it was for real. How could he be so blind about it in the first place? It was obvious, it was right in front of him all the time, mocking him.
He was concerned that crush could transcend into something bigger because, for many reasons, it was a call for disaster. Taehyung was his lifetime best friend, the boy next door that was always there for him with a dazzling smile and something interesting to say. It was easy to see why he had fallen for him but everything else was complicated in comparison.
And even if it was complicated, it was also unavoidable. Even now, sitting on his desk in his bedroom, while drawing his usual doodles he ends up unconsciously writing Taehyung’s name in the corner of his sketchbook. He is going to need a new one very soon since he draws there daily, sometimes portraits, sometimes something cartoonish or maybe something he’d like to paint in a wall someday, sometimes it’s colorful, monochrome or black and white.
At this point his hand moves naturally over the paper, the ink is staining his fingertips and the Black Keys music is blasting through his headphones when a pair of hands suddenly grabbed the headphones before he could even react.
He gasped loudly when he noticed it was no other than Kim Taehyung himself. Right in front of him with those big chocolate eyes of his and his godly long eyelashes. God, why he had to be this good-looking?
“I swear you’re going to go deaf one of these days.”
“I was… I was just… uh…” Jeongguk rushed to cover his sketchbook and close it with one move. “doodling.” What he can’t hide is the blush across he cheeks but he chooses to believe he can blame it on the scare.
Taehyung isn’t wearing the uniform anymore, instead, he has a pair of plaid pajamas with a long trench coat covering it. It isn’t just a fashion choice, Taehyung just loves to wear pajamas whenever he has the chance and that includes broking into Jeongguk’s house. Jeongguk also catches a glimpse of a steaming pot he’s carrying.
“Your mom’s working late tonight, why didn’t you come home and grab a bite with us?”
Jeongguk doesn’t respond, he bites the tip of his thumb and looks down for a moment.
“Hey… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize…” Jeongguk stops him. “I should be the one saying sorry… I overreacted.”
Taehyung doesn’t look mad at all. “What do you say if we cook some ramen and eat my mom’s stew?”
He hasn’t even noticed how late it is neither how hungry he is until Taehyung mentioned the food.
“God, yeah… but… you don’t have to have dinner with me.” He shrugs. “You probably could use the time studying or something.”
“Nah, I’ve been studying all evening. I can use some time off. Plus I know for fact I can beat your Super Smash high score without blinking and my hand-tied to my back.”
“That sounds like a challenge.”
“You bet it.”
Jeongguk can’t even remember being upset that evening, he doesn’t even remember why he made such a big deal about the whole «kiss» thing. While Taehyung is there he can only think about him. He does think about the kiss… a kiss, one kiss in a pair of lips he has in front of him but as soon as the thought crossed his mind he shook his head and tried to concentrate on the game once again.
When Taehyung left later that night, it was almost midnight and Jeongguk was tempted to ask him to stay a bit longer, it was getting colder outside, maybe he could spend the night but he had taken too much of his time already.
After the elder was gone, he opened his sketchbook where he had left it.
Taehyung’s name was scribbled all over the page.
-3-
The following day, Jeongguk did his best to avoid his nosy classmates and took his lunch outside with his friends. With some luck, the girls would forget about the subject in a couple of days or would simply move to a different gossip. However -and until that happens- Jeongguk must proceed with caution.
Although days are already chilly and degrees are decreasing, the sun is nice and warm so it’s a great chance to eat outside. Jeongguk was drinking his banana milk after finishing his meal when Mingyu points at the distance.
“Isn’t that your neighbor?”
Yuna and Jeongguk turn around at the same time.
“Ah, it’s Taehyung.” Yuna says. “What is he doing outside? These days he’s always inside studying.” She doesn’t direct the question to someone in particular but Jeongguk feels as if he should know the answer.
Before he can say something, the answer appears right in front of them in form of a very nervous girl that kept playing with her hair while switching the weight of her body from her left to the right.
“Ah, a familiar scene…” Mingyu says.
Jeongguk almost chokes on his drink.
“A confession?”
“Without a doubt.”
Jeongguk hasn’t said a word. He has his big eyes fixed in the scene.
The girl that was talking to Taehyung had a soft blush covering her face as she continues fidgeting her fingers, she doesn’t look at the senior directly, her eyes are stuck on the ground.
“Are you sure it’s a confession? Maybe she’s just asking for his notes…”
“She’s in my class.” Yuna mentions. “Homeboy here can tell you it’s definitely a confession, he gets one daily.”
Mingyu nods. “It has all the signature elements. She’s even shaking a little, she must like him a lot.”
Jeongguk feels a little sting of jealousy while looking at them. He can’t really see Taehyung’s expression since he’s backward, still, the senior is the complete opposite to the girl in front of him, his posture is relaxed, he has his hands on his pockets and remains quiet the whole time.
Finally, after a few minutes, Taehyung pats the girl’s head, he says something and she nods. Then, he walks away and the girl is left there, she has some tears on her eyes but she sobs a couple of times and goes back inside.
“It doesn’t look like it went alright for her.” Yuna sipped some of her orange juice.
Mingyu agrees with her and the two of them start talking about confessions but Jeongguk stops listening shortly after. He can’t shake the image out of his head.
“I’ll see you inside.” He says before leaving his friends in the blink of an eye.
He’s looking around trying to find Taehyung but he’s nowhere to be seen. He gives up and sits under a tree that’s keeping a few leaves on its branches. He has around five minutes left before the break is over and he spots Yuna heading back to her classroom through the stairs, Mingyu is probably inside as well.
Jeongguk lets a big sigh out of his chest.
“Ugh, rough morning?” A familiar voice asks.
Jeongguk meets Taehyung’s eyes right away as if his voice was calling for him directly, whenever he hears him it’s like a spell, whenever he calls, he’s there. He has a chocolate bar and the younger can’t believe he forgot Taehyung functions directly by sugar, he was at the vending machine.
“I don’t think it was worse than that girl's you just rejected.” He immediately wants to bite his tongue. That came out way bolder than what he expected. “I mean…”
“Ah, you saw that.” Taehyung scratches the back of his head with his free hand. “It wasn’t nice, you’re right. I tried to be the gentlest I could but she definitely looks sad.”
“She’s pretty… why did you turn her down?” He mumbles.
The elder bites his lips. “I guess… I don’t have time right now to date someone.”
“Oh.” It’s all Jeongguk can say.
He should’ve guessed.
“Do you get that a lot?” He asks.
Taehyung tilts his head. “I’ve been asked out a few times, yeah. Nothing extraordinary.”
Jeongguk is now fidgeting one of his rings.
“Ah, isn’t today a beautiful day?”
The elder sits next to Jeongguk and rests his head on his lap making the other boy a mess inside.
“What are you-”
“Don’t say anything. I just really need a place to rest my head.” He closes his eyes allowing Jeongguk to memorize every detail he already knows by heart, every mole, every mark, every shape and texture of his face. “Stay, like that.” He asks.
Jeongguk is screaming inside but on the outside, he’s petrified. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands or his arms or himself. There’s a flame firing fireworks one after another on his chest, a wildfire burning it all yet he manages to remain still. This is a chance he must seize, contemplating Taehyung from this distance while a soft set of sunrays bath his skin making him warm in all senses.
He wishes he had his sketchbook with him but also, he doesn’t want to ruin the moment because it’s perfect just like this.
He relaxes a little and hopes that his heartbeat isn’t snitching on him. He even closes his eyes for a second and curses in a low voice when the bell rings.
Taehyung yawns and then gets up. “Time to go.” He taps his leg before rushing to his building. “See you after class.”
Jeongguk sees him in the distance now, running with his hands on his pocket and a smile on his face, leaving a young doe-eyed boy with his heart on his palm and his soul in a tree.
…
“…and then she locked herself in the bathroom for fifteen minutes after the lunch break was over.”
“Poor Hyesook.” Various of them nodded in agreement.
“She was being a little ambitious confessing to Kim Taehyung though.” One of the girls commented. “I mean, I’m not saying she deserved to be rejected but she aimed too high. I know I would consider it twice before confessing to someone like him.”
“He could be a model.” One girl remarked.
“Or an actor.”
“Or an idol.”
“Or a model, an actor and an idol.” The other females had to give her the winning point.
“Hey, isn’t Jeongguk his childhood friend or neighbor or something?”
“Jeon Jeongguk.” One of his classmates called his name as if he hasn’t been hearing they chat for the past five minutes –and questioning his entire existence along the way. “You know Kim Taehyung, right?”
He buffs. “You can say that.”
“Ah, don’t play silly, he’s your neighbor I’ve seen you two taking the bus together.” Dahae accuses.
Jeongguk glares at her. “He’s my friend.”
“What’s his type?” Hyejoo asks.
“His what?”
“His type, what type of girls he likes?”
“How am I supposed to know that?” He replies defensively.
“You two hang out all the time, haven’t you seen the kind of girls he’s usually around?”
Well…
Taehyung is popular, that’s a fact. He’s always surrounded by lots of people, he attracts attention in a good way and that’s why his classmates and juniors –even teachers- enjoy his companion in the hallways of the school. Jeongguk, unlike him, is usually shyer around strangers and he gets along with people he’s already gotten to know, he also avoids crowds whenever he can. Taehyung is not necessarily an extrovert but he has a way with people Jeongguk admires thus, he’s never alone with others and he’s never seen him alone with one particular girl to declare what’s his type.
“I won’t tell you.” He has his eyes fixed on the window.
“You’re so weird…” One of the girls sigh. “Besides, you’ve been looking outside the window all day, what’s outside? There’s only a tree with few leaves on it.”
Jeongguk doesn’t respond.
-4-
Message from Taehyung: U busy?
Jeongguk is in the middle of his class, he hasn’t seen Taehyung in the past two days since the «confession» day. He’s been studying until late hours in a study room near the school so he goes back home at night when Jeongguk is already in bed. He usually does that from three to four nights during the week and then studies as hard during the weekends.
Now suddenly, out of blue, Jeongguk receives a text message in the middle of his study hour. He shouldn’t use his phone but as soon as Taehyung’s name appears on the screen, he’s already opening the message without a hint of hesitation.
Message to Taehyung: Study hour. Shouldn’t be you at class?
It doesn’t take long until his phone is vibrating under the table again. This time, he peeks whether his teacher is looking, apparently, there’s none in sight.
Message from Taehyung: Skip it. My Math professor didn’t show up and I can’t read another sentence from my textbook without exploding or something.
Before he could reply to the first message, a second text appeared.
Message from Taehyung: Pretty please.
As if he could say no to that.
Message to Taehyung: Meet me outside in 5’.
He looks around before grabbing his stuff and sneaking out the room like a tiny mouse trying not to be heard. He quickly comes with an excuse to go to the nursing and with the teacher’s sigh and approval, Jeongguk leaves the second floor with a silly smile on his face. He can’t ignore the adrenaline shot while running through the hallways of the school; he’s soon at the entrance, picks up a few things from the lockers and then wait for Taehyung to show up.
“Pssst. Over here.”
Jeongguk turns around and sees the elder, in the second their eyes meet Taehyung displays the biggest brightest square-shaped smile on earth, it has the younger’s legs trembling and his heart skipping a beat.
Jeongguk clears his throat before speaking. “What’s so important I have to skip classes to see you?”
Taehyung pouts. “Don’t you want to spend time with me?”
“Yeah but…”
Before he can protest, Taehyung is grabbing his wrist and running out of the school. He doesn’t stop and Jeongguk has to follow his pace. It takes about two minutes for him to realize he’s not stopping at all and it takes him a bit longer to realize where they are heading.
“Wait!” He curbs with his heels in the middle of the pavement. “Where are we…?”
“Do you trust me?” Taehyung’s brown eyes are wide and deep he feels like he can dive into them.
Jeongguk only can nod.
“Where’s your phone?”
“Ah, in my backpack?”
“Good, drop your backpack.”
“What?” He does what he says in the split of a second. Now Jeongguk can see where they are really heading. “Wait-”
It’s too late for regrets they are already jumping, floating in the air for the span of a moment. Behind his back, the little bridge, above them, a clear sky in the middle of an autumn day, under them, the running water of the river; it lasts a second, a second that’s perfect and untouchable, them flying, defying the rules of gravity while being young and free. It’s just a moment but it’s all theirs. Jeongguk is still holding Taehyung’s hand and he’s smiling, that’s not only one smile, it’s every smile Jeongguk has ever seen and it’s precious and ephemeral, it’s joyful and sad at the same time.
Then, there’s a big splash.
The water is cold, the sun is warm but the traces of the season changing are there; it takes a moment to adjust to the temperature difference but there’s something about the chilly water that makes him being wide awake, the big mouthful of air reaching his lungs once he’s out in the surface again makes him feel alive and having Taehyung next to him makes him feel everything is alright.
“Whoo!” Taehyung screams.
“You’re crazy.” Jeongguk chuckles.
…
A can of coffee makes contact with his nape. Jeongguk looks up and meets Taehyung eyes. His hair is still wet.
“If you catch a cold because of me, your mother would kill me without blinking.”
“Thanks…” He grabs the can and holds it for a second between his palms to warm them up.
They are standing outside the convenience store, resting their backs against the wall, the sign of the store is now lit up.
“Can I ask why the sudden need of jumping to the river during autumn?”
Taehyung shrugs. “I guess I became aware that I have a short amount of time to do things like this.” His smile has a hint of melancholy that shatters Jeongguk's heart. “I also felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with you…”
“Well, I’m glad you took me out of class… it was fun.”
“Good.”
Jeongguk’s lips turn into a thin line. He taps the close can of coffee. “Taehyung, do you have a type?”
“What?” He looks confused.
“You know… a type? What do you like in someone?”
“Ugh… I don’t know, let me think…”
Jeongguk’s eyes spark with expectation, his heart is beating non-stop.
“I guess… I can’t categorize it as a «type» because that’s limiting. I like people I can hang out with any time and have a great time. Someone that makes me feel like we share something and I don’t know… why the question out of the blue?”
Jeongguk blushes. “N-Nothing really… I just got curious…”
“Alright… what about you? What’s your type?”
Jeongguk finally opens the can and takes a long sip, then he pretends to look into his phone. “Whoops. Look at the time. We should get back before it’s dark outside.”
“Hey. You didn’t answer my question.”
“What?” He starts walking toward the bus stop. “I can’t hear you!”
Jeongguk smiles as he starts walking faster and Taehyung follows him.
…
Sun is starting to go down when Jeongguk is fully dressed after a shower. He hears the knocks on the door and rushes to open it with a towel around his neck and his hair as wet as when he jumped to the river that same evening.
“Couldn’t resist the urge of seeing my face again or…?” He stops midsentence when he notices the person outside is not Taehyung. “Yuna… I thought you were someone else.”
“Sure.” The girl’s still wearing her baseball uniform with the cap covering her bangs. “Mingyu asked me to bring you today’s homework since you reported sick and went home. Are you?”
“Uh…what?” He scratches his head.
“Sick.”
Jeongguk fakes a cough. “Kinda.”
“Well, I don’t care.” She opens her backpack and hands him a couple of copies almost pushing them. “Things I do for being your neighbor.”
“Thank you.”
“Yeah, whatever. See you at school.”
“See you tomorrow.”
After closing the door, Jeongguk can’t help but feeling a bit disappointed. It’s been just a couple hours but he’s missing Taehyung’s presence already.
Shortly after he hears the sound of the door opening again but this time is his mother that has just returned from the supermarket with several bags.
“A little help?” She asks while dropping some bags on the floor and taking off her shoes.
“Ah, yeah. Sorry.” He rushes to help her with the groceries. “Welcome home.”
“Thank you.”
He starts placing the groceries on the cupboards and inside the fridge while his mother is talking on the phone with one of his aunts –affectionately called aunt since they are not really related but still- she’s complaining about some rude customer they had in the restaurant a few nights ago –Jeongguk’s mom works as a restaurant manager and because of that, he sees little of her while she’s working but he has managed alone quite well. Of course, he misses having her around but he’s not a kid anymore besides, his mother is really good at her job.
He beams when he notices the pack of banana milk she never forgets to buy for him since he was four and honestly he hopes it never changes. Then, when he unpacks another bag, he finds an abnormal amount of pork chops.
“Mom, what is this?” Jeongguk asks as soon as she hangs up.
“Pork chops.” She states the obvious.
“I know what pork chops look like but why did you buy so many? These are expensive…”
“Ah, son… Don’t worry about that and behave like a teenager for once. I’m your mother and I get to decide how to spend the income.” She gently rubs his back. “I mean it, Jeongguk. We’re okay.”
He feels a bit guilty for bringing it up but since his father left, he has been more than careful with the housing economy to avoid putting some extra weight on his mother back and become a burden somehow. Yes, sometimes that means not going to some scholar trip or saving money to buy a videogame he likes. He’s also about to convince her to let him have a part-time job in summer since she won’t let him take do it to focus on his studies.
“Besides, I bought them to share it with the Kims. They are always looking after you and I have to thank them somehow.”
Jeongguk tries to ignore the name and proceeds to stash the last couple of vegetables inside the fridge. When it’s all settled they both sit on a couple stools, then his mother opens a can of beer and relaxes her shoulders before taking a sip.
She finally says something. “So, are you going to tell me why one of your teachers called me to inform that, and I quote, Jeongguk wasn’t feeling quite well and after reporting sick he left without checking out with the nurse or are we going to pretend it didn’t happen at all?”
“Uh… is the second option even an option or-”
“No.”
“That’s what I thought. But before you ground me for life I have to tell you-”
“It’s drugs, isn’t it?”
“What? No!”
“I knew it… I’m a bad mother, I should’ve spent more time with you and now you’re probably going to become a high school dealer with a ticket straight to juvie and that’s a shortstop before jail and-”
“Mom! I’m not taking drugs.”
“You’re not?”
“No! I skipped class to hang out with Taehyung and-”
“Taehyung was with you?”
“Yes?”
“Ah, you should’ve started there. Nothing bad can happen to you when you’re with him.”
“Unless it’s an alternative universe in which he kills his abusive relative in law, runs away and is arrested by the police after being caught painting graffiti.”
“What?”
“…hypothetically speaking. Wow, I have no idea where that came from… Anyway, no... It’s not what you think I’m not into drugs.”
“Okay I believe you…”
“So… I’m not grounded?”
“Oh, you are. No videogames for two weeks and I’m taking the controllers on my purse.”
“Okay…and, just for the record, you’re not a bad mom.”
She has a soft look in her eyes. “Don’t tell your older brother but you’re my favorite.”
Jeongguk giggles.
She takes another sip of her beer and lets a sigh out of her chest. “Speaking of your brother, have you spoken with him lately? He isn’t answering either my texts or my calls.”
“Yeah, he told me he’s been studying for a test. I’m sure he’s just busy.”
“Alright. Think what do you want for dinner I’ll return this pot to Mrs. Kim and-”
“I’ll do it.” He’s a bit too eager he almost jumps off the stool. “I mean… I’ll return it and you stay and rest, going to the supermarket can be really stressful.”
“How thoughtful of you, dear.”
“Yeah, I’ll take the pot and be right back.” He rushes and grabs a pot from the dishwasher and heads toward the Kim’s house.
“Dear,” his mother yells at him from the kitchen. “that’s not even the right pot!”
-5-
The following week, Taehyung invited Jeongguk to go to this new comic store he found downtown after school and they spend about forty-five minutes discussing over the Boku no hero academy quirks and the new season of Haikyuu they haven’t watched yet. Taehyung shows him a new magazine and Jeongguk loses himself in an Iron Man issue back at the superheroes section until the elder finds him again.
They don’t buy anything since they don’t have a penny. They share a bag of toasted peanuts they got on a street stall. Both of them are chilling, waiting for their bus at the stop when they hear a commotion coming from the inside of a restaurant. They keep track of the commotion as the manager kick a group of college students out for being loud and annoying.
It doesn’t hit Jeongguk until he recognizes a familiar figure among them, his older brother.
“Hyung?”
His brother notices the tiny silhouette at the stop and freezes, then he awkwardly cracks a smile.
“Jeonggukie.” He gets closer until he’s able to ruffle his hair.
But there’s something off on the way he does it, it doesn’t feel like his brother’s usual tender strokes, it’s rush and messy. Jeongguk can tell he’s drunk by the way he moves, how he walks almost stumbling.
“Good to see you… it’s actually so nice to see you…” He’s twitching. “Little brother… won’t you have some spare change in your pockets? My friends and I were drinking and we ran out of cash…” He laughs but it’s a burst of broken laughter, high pitched, sounds awful on him.
Jeongguk stares at him with a knot on his stomach. “What?”
“Yeah, the owner of that place it’s just a shitty old man that won’t let us have more drinks, said we have too much to drink… so we’re just moving our party somewhere else.”
“Sihoon, it’s Tuesday. Why are you drinking today? Aren’t you supposed to be preparing for your exams?”
“Yeah, yeah… I’ll do it… promise. It’s just…” He looks at the group of men that are having a smoke in the corner and gesturing toward him. “We’ll get one more drink and go home. That’s it.”
“I think you should go straight home.” Jeongguk mumbles.
“C’mon, Jeongguk. I know mom gives you extra cash, spare some for your big brother.”
“Mom does not give me extra cash, what are you talking about?”
“She gave me less than last month and I can’t pay for the karaoke with that.”
“I thought you said you were going to have one more drink.”
“Yes… I said that… one more drink at the karaoke…”
Jeongguk is starting to feel anxious about the entire situation. He knows Sihoon is lying but he doesn’t know how to get rid of him; his throat is dried and he feels like he’s about to hyperventilate when Taehyung –whom he has forgotten for a second that was next to him- extends a bill toward his brother’s direction.
“I got you.” He says without stuttering.
Jeongguk’s mind is blank. Taehyung has been saving money for months and it’s not fair that he’s going to give it for free to his brother who’s behaving like an idiot. Now, his body is trembling but it’s due to the rage accumulating inside him, there’s a heat growing, spreading, exploding.
Sihoon attempts to grab the bill but Jeongguk snatches it in the last second.
“Jeongguk…” Taehyung’s words get cut before he can finish that sentence.
“If you don’t have money to pay for your drinks go home. You’re old enough to manage your economy and don’t accept borrows from high-schoolers, aren’t you?”
He says loud enough to be heard by the group of guys that’s with him. Sihoon’s ears turn red and he tries to placate the shame with a faked laugh.
“Ah, little brother… don’t say those things.” He keeps laughing but it’s not funny.
“And call mom. Don’t be a dick.”
Their bus arrives just in time and he doesn’t look back before riding it. Jeongguk walks straight to two empty seats; he has stopped listening because he’s still angry and ashamed and he can’t get to look at his friend after that.
“Jeongguk.” Taehyung says once they are moving.
“Don’t… just… don’t say anything. You don’t have to.”
“But I want to.” Jeongguk finally looks at him. “You did the right thing out there.”
“It’s just…he shouldn’t be leeching my mom nor anyone else. Sorry.”
“It’s not your fault…”
“Also, I don’t want you or anyone else to stand up for me.”
“I didn’t do it to be a hero or something. You’re my friend, Jeongguk. I wanted to help you.”
"He's my brother." He says bitterly. "I'll have to deal with him if he has decided to be a jerk."
“I know that but it doesn’t have to be you against the world. There will always be someone there for you.”
“You don’t know that. You’re not always going to be there and I’ll have to be on my own.”
Taehyung sighs. “What if we meet in a healthy halfway? Yes, you’re right. There are going to be situations you’ll have to face alone but that doesn’t mean you are totally on your own.”
The younger nods.
He knows he’s right but everything is better than face the truth.
They ride in silence; the crowded presence of the vehicle drowns the lack of conversation within strangers’ voices. They get home and after Jeongguk drops his backpack and his shoes at the entrance, he finds a sticky note from his mother; he hopes it doesn’t break her heart to hear about Sihoon.
…
Taehyung looks over his shoulder after dropping his friend at his house. He only has to walk a couple meters, on his way home he almost bumps into someone.
“Ah, Yuna…hi.”
The girl is just returning from her practice. He often sees her wearing the uniform and carrying a baseball glove with her.
“Hello.” She waves.
He points at her outfit. “Winning streak? I’ve seen you practicing after class. You’re really good.”
“I’m the best pitcher they have but I’ll probably have to drop it.” She displays an awkward grimace. “Girls don’t get into college with baseball scholarships.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah.” She looks at Jeongguk’s house and then back at Taehyung. “You know… I used to think the three of us were friends before but… It really was just you two.”
He squints. “What do you mean?”
She walks toward her house and drops the heavy sports bag off her shoulder. She doesn’t turn around but keeps speaking as she takes her boots off.
“Kim Taehyung…if you don’t make up your mind you’re going to miss your shot and I’m going to confess to him.”
Taehyung is out of words.
She closes the door and he’s left outside alone with his thoughts.
-6-
Jeongguk walks into the classroom and regrets it immediately. Screams, chaos… teenagers.
He doesn’t want to ask what’s going on because his classmates are practically yelling it.
Dahae is officially dating a senior. (Or that’s what he catches from the incoherent noises) which means she has also had her first kiss.
Correction: real kiss.
Seriously, why is Mingyu out every time they come out with a new set of shenanigans?
He just wants to disappear or hide under a textbook since it’s just a reminder that he’s single, very single.
And that he hasn’t had a «real kiss» yet.
Fuck it.
He doesn’t need their validation anyway.
However, there’s a pair of lips he’d like to taste and solve the mystery by himself.
Do Taehyung’s lips taste like lemon?
Just the single thought has his ears turning petal pink.
He needs to get out of there… soon.
Since this is not how he wants to spend the rest of his break, Jeongguk walks out the classroom and heads to the vending machine in the second floor.
He shouldn’t be surprised running into Taehyung since he has basically paid for the machine since he entered into high school, maybe his feet took him there on purpose because he wanted to see him.
Taehyung’s there, sitting on the stairs with the school uniform, his eyes closed, his glasses on top of his head, a pencil hanging on top of his ear and a lollipop on his mouth. For a second Jeongguk thinks his asleep but he’s developed the ability to doze off anywhere.
His exam is in a week. He’s been counting the days.
Jeongguk forgets he’s there for the machine and sits on the stair. He contemplates him, peacefully sleeping between classes after getting his daily dose of sugar. Jeongguk doesn’t know how, even with the violaceous bags under his eyes and the countless hours studying and working, he’s still gorgeous.
Jeongguk has never liked the idea of creepy-staring at someone while they’re sleeping but he’s ethereal and every second he spends looking at him it’s just to reassure he’s real. He notices there's something on Taehyung’s cheek -maybe an ink stain- so he gets closer to remove it with his thumb.
After one stroke, his wrist is grabbed firmly in the air.
Taehyung opens his eyes and they meet Jeongguk’s sparkly obsidian galaxy eyes.
Jeongguk has stopped breathing.
“Jeongguk…” His raspy voice makes him melt. “Am I dreaming?”
The younger feels so flustered his heart might actually explode.
“W-What are you saying right now? Have you lost your mind?”
In that second Taehyung’s chic façade cracks and he howls with laughter. Jeongguk gets rid of his grip and unconsciously pouts. The senior is still grinning and Jeongguk’s cuteness moves him to tickle his chin just like he has done since always. This pops a tiny half-smile on his face.
“Why are you always sleeping in public places?”
“I wasn’t sleeping; I only sleep when I have people to look over me. Besides, I was getting re-stocked at the machine.” He opens a box of strawberry Peperos and changes the lollipop for the cookie snack, then he extends the box for Jeongguk to pick one.
He gnaws the strawberry cover and Taehyung can tell he’s irked about something.
“So… why are you out of your classroom?” He asks at the time he’s biting his second pepero.
“Loud annoying classmates and their dating lives.”
“Ah, a classic.”
“Yeah, one of them is dating now so they are at their «does it taste like…?» again.” He rolls his eyes; grabs another snack from the box.
“Lemon was it?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you find out whether or not they were right?”
“…no. I did not.”
He’s still halfway the pepero when Taehyung gets closer. There’s something on his eyes, certain spark, a glow Jeongguk has never seen before and has him shaking on his feet while sitting on that stair. The younger is frozen and he’s barely holding the pepero on his mouth when Taehyung grabs the opposite end with his thumb and index fingers.
Jeongguk is holding his breath, it takes Taehyung a couple bites to short the distance and tickle his face with his own inhalations and exhalations. Taehyung looks at him once, Jeongguk sees everything, his peculiar eyes, his pretty lashes, the mole under his eye… he can get lost inside them and never return. His hand finds a way to the back of his head and his fingers get tangled with Jeongguk’s soft hair. It takes him by surprise but finally, their lips are touching in a tender peck that feels more like an electric shock that make his skin crawl.
But then, Taehyung tilts his head just a little and opens his mouth, Jeongguk follows his pace and parts his lips little by little. The kiss gets deeper; Taehyung’s tongue shyly explores the interior of his mouth and Jeongguk closes his eyes getting drunk on the sensation. It’s not bitter at all, it doesn’t taste like lemon. It’s sweet, sugary sweet, strawberry and cookies and Taehyung. Mostly Taehyung. This is how he imagined Taehyung tasted like, luscious, syrupy with a strong note of berries. But it’s not only that, it’s sweet but it’s also red, it’s hot and sultry with a little bit of spicy.
Taehyung lends back leaving the younger looking for his mouth even when they’re apart.
The older licks his lips and waits for the other boy to opens his eyes with that dreamy look on them.
“I…” He babbles. “I… what was that for?”
“I hope you don’t mind but I’ve been intending to do that for a while.”
Jeongguk blinks twice. “Excuse me, you what?”
At that moment, the bell rings indicating the break is over.
“Oh, I have to go back. Math class.” The senior shrugs. “See you later.” He croons.
But Jeongguk is unable to move. He’s paralyzed, processing what just happened.
He –somehow- gets the strength to drag his feet back to the classroom and in a total zombie-state sits down back on his seat. He ignores whatever the people around him are doing at the moment.
Taehyung kissed him.
Taehyung is his real first kiss.
“Chaerim.” He calls for his classmate before the teacher starts the lesson.
The girl looks at him, confused. “Huh?”
“It doesn’t taste like lemon.” He says with a satisfying smile.
-7-
He feels stupid.
Jeongguk feels stupid while holding the small flower bouquet while Taehyung’s family is congratulating him at the entrance of the school where he took the exam. It’s cold, really cold and they all are wearing giant jackets that reach their ankles. Taehyung’s hair is messy due to all the petting he got, he’s tired but he looks relieved after all the efforts he has done the past couple months.
And Jeongguk is there, a couple of meters away, standing with his silly bouquet being all nervous to talk to him.
Taehyung finally approaches and points at the flowers. “Are these for me?”
“No, I have another best friend.” Jeongguk mocks and the elder pretends to be devastated. “Of course these are for you.” He blushes slightly when he takes them.
“Thank you.”
Jeongguk notices his family is walking toward their car and they have been deliberately left alone.
He clears his throat. “Hyung… wait for me.”
“Uh?” Taehyung is taken out of guard while still sniffing the flowers.
“I’ll graduate in two years and I’ll take that exam too. You’ll be in college already… I’ll ask you out formally then.” Jeongguk bows. “Please, wait.”
Taehyung stares at him for a moment. “I’ll wait for you.”
“I don’t want you to see me as a kid anymore and I know you’ll be gone soon but don’t forget about me, okay?”
“Jeongguk… I could never forget about you.” Taehyung cups his face with his gloved hands. “You’ll always be my best friend.”
“I want more. I’ve been your best friend for a long time and… I don’t mind if I have to wait a little more but know upfront I’ll confess when the time comes.”
Taehyung smiles radiantly. “Then I’ll be the one bringing you flowers when you take the exam.”
“I hope so.” Jeongguk palpates his pocket. “One more thing…” He pulls out a box of strawberry Peperos.
Taehyung looks at him fondly. “What does it taste like?”
“You, it tasted like you and I wouldn't want it in any other way.”