Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Steve Rogers was a traditional man. He liked things to be simple and that was that. His favorite ice cream flavor was butter pecan. He liked steak and potatoes. He wanted to get married, have a family, support them with a simple 9 to 5 job, retire, and live with his loving wife in a cottage by a lake. So when he got the chance to enter the army and serve his country by participating in a life altering experiment, he was hesitant. The one thing that pushed him was his drive to do what is right. His hatred for bullies and desire to help people overrode his preference for routine and simplicity. After Project Rebirth, Steve became accustomed to change and started to become better at processing it. Going from scrawny and sickly to muscular and super strengthened was an adversity on it's own. He started out performing stupid shows as a way to gain soldiers and support America, telling himself that he was making a change, but when it came down to it, he wasn't. He wasn't making the vital difference he originally intended to do.

His best friend Bucky's disappearance was the catalyst that he needed to push him from this hole. One of the scientists, Howard Stark, and the amazing Peggy Carter assisted him into going against orders, flying into enemy territory, and rescuing not only Bucky, but hundreds of other soldiers. From that moment forward, all of his dance routines on stage turned into organized attacks on the battlefield. With Bucky and the Howling Commandos by his side, he was able to finally make a difference.

The relationship between himself and Peggy blossomed into something beautiful. When Bucky fell, he lost a part of himself. He felt a giant weight of guilt from letting his best friend slip through his fingers, literally. He wasn't strong enough, not enough to save Bucky or to handle the loss of him. Bucky was the one who dragged him away from the danger he created for himself. He helped him from the day he was born to the present. Bucky supported him through his sickness, his parent’s death, his rejection from the army, and his fights with any and every bully. And now he was gone forever. Drinking didn’t help; he soon realized that only Peggy did. She stood by his side and helped him stand back up. As he stood on shaky legs, Peggy supported him, getting him through the depressive period. She soon became his new best friend. She was his first true love. Of course he still felt like part of him was gone, with bucky not there, but Peggy gave him a new piece of life.

Peggy was strong, stubborn, beautiful and kind. He saw a part of his mother in her and held a strong longing for her. He soon hoped he would be able to end this war, destroy Red Skull and his forces, and come home to hold her in his arms. Simple. They would live together, buy a small house in the suburbs, have a dog, a white picket fence, 2 or 3 kids. Whatever Peggy wanted. But of course, that's just not what life is. Life isn't simple.

The bombs weren't defused. The plane was barreling straight towards America. Steve was alone on this mission. He gripped onto the cold handles of the plane, watching the horizon, searching desperately for an answer out there in the snow. The only answer that lie blatantly ahead was one that was not ideal. But it was the only one. Peggy's voice cracked through the radio. She sounded sad. Empty. She also saw the same answer in the snow like Steve.

"I still don't know how to dance," he had said.

"I'll show you how," her voice rang, soaked in sorrow despite her attempt at hope. "Just be there."

The last thing he heard as he watched the blank whiteness cloud his vision was Peggy's beautiful voice, calling out his name. Pleading him to give her an answer. To fly straight home. Safe and sound. To build a life with her. End this war. Live happily.

He never did.

--<>--

When one crashes a plane in the middle of an icy valley with no hopes of being found or retrieved, they usually expect death to take hold. Of course for Steve Rogers, this was not the case. Steve remembered feeling the jolt of inertia from the plane’s collision with the ice. He recalled the feeling of sharp pain all over his body and then complete darkness. There was a second where he was freezing, not the usual freezing when the hot water shuts off or a cold breeze hits your neck on a mid January day. This freezing was piercing and unforgettable. It was painful and burned into his skin. Immediately after there was a moment of pure blazing heat and Steve woke up. His eyes remained heavy and closed, but his brain was slowly coming to. The surface under him was soft but scratchy. The index finger on his left hand twitched, moving to feel the blanket.

A faint buzzing was the only thing he could hear at this point, until it started to blend into a faint discussion. Voices could be heard in the distance. Steve tried to focus on them as a way to bring his brain back to consciousness. His brain seemed to be waking up on it’s own accord, ignoring his attempt to rush it. Eventually, the voices came through clearly. It was a baseball game. From May 1941. His eyes opened finally. Something was spinning above him. Slowly. The blurred object soon sharpened and morphed into a ceiling fan.

His body felt slow and exhausted as Steve tried to sit up. He cringed as he swung his legs from the bed he was perched on and took in the room he occupied. It was bland and typical. The radio buzzed on, there was a lamp and a window, but it was hazy and seemed off looking. Every muscle tensed in his body, his mind racing trying to make sense of this. A knock on the door drew him from his evaluation of the room. A woman stepped through. She wore a nurse uniform and a smile.

“Hello Captain Rogers, how are you feeling?”

He stared at her. Watching her eyes assess his own stance and body.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in a hospital in New York City.”

He stood up, despite his legs protest. “No. Where. Am. I.”

“I’m afraid...I don’t understand.” she began to back away, confusion on her face.

“That baseball game,” he looked to the radio, which was praising a player for hitting a home run. “Happened in May 1941. I know because I was there.” Steve approached her suddenly, radiating aggression. “Now, I’ll ask you again. Where am I?”

The door opened and 2 more people stepped through. They were donned in dark blue uniforms with an eagle logo on the top.

“Captain, please stand do-” before the man even finished, Steve grabbed his uniform and threw him through the back wall.

It exploded, exposing a giant steel garage. Steve’s heart raced with adrenaline and he leapt through the hole. His feet carried him through hallways and doors until he reached one with a window exposing light. Throwing everyone out of his way, Steve plummeted through the door, eyes squinting at the sudden brightness. His head exploded with the sound of horns and sirens and noise. There were bright lights and buildings the size of mountains. The signs that littered the mountains glowed and there were cars everywhere. They seemed different. Futuristic, like alien pods almost. People surrounded him everywhere. Most weren't even looking at him, just buzzing to and fro. Those who did look at him, only glanced and continued on their way.

“Steve Rogers,” a calm, melodramatic voice rang out from behind. Steve turned to it violently, breath coming in gasps. “Look, I’m sorry about that little show there, but we thought to break it to you slowly.”

Steve eyed the man carefully. He was bald and dark skinned. A long black coat and an eye patch caught Steve’s eye as he replied. “Break what?”

“You’ve been asleep Cap. For 70 years. Welcome to 2016.”

--<>--

Tony Stark was an eccentric man. He grew up in a rich household, constantly blinded by the flashes of fame. His father, Howard Stark, was a cold man. He rarely had the ability to be home for his only heir and wife, but when he was, it was only on occasion. Being the CEO of your own weapons manufacturing company did that to you. The man also became obsessed with a tireless search for a certain Captain America. The soldier was an apparent hero during the war, having crashed a plane somewhere in the arctic tundra in order to save the country. Every lecture Tony received from Howard always somehow tied into the humility of the Captain America. The constant comparison of Tony to the Captain always ended in a feeling of failure in the young boy. He would often be left with a feeling of self hatred and emptiness. When Tony did happen to see his father and there was no lecture, he was given a pat on the head and a thumbs up.

His butler Jarvis provided Tony with a more suitable father figure he needed. The British man was kind and warm hearted. Him and his wife were the people who would throw him birthday parties and graduation parties when his parents could not. Jarvis was the person Tony always went to after a lecture or confrontation at school. He supplied the advise and comfort Tony constantly craved.

His mother Maria also adored him. She was the one who was able to provide Tony with the support and affection he needed to strive. By taking the little time she had to teach him piano, the Italian language, manners, ballroom dancing and anything she could, she would help mature the boy into a well cultured man. She was his teacher, his role model.

"Don't mind your father, he does love you. Always remember that," she would always tell him. "He loves you just as much as I do."

Tony would only nod and pretend he understood. He loved his father, adored him. Tony craved to succeed just as his father had done. He craved to just gain a sliver of pride from Howard and fill the hole he always carried in his heart. Sadly, he never felt that love back. Maria always told him that it was there, that there was some love his father had for him, but for Tony, seeing was believing. And he never saw anything, so what was there to believe?

When they both passed in 1991, Tony was devastated. The car crash was so sudden that it shook the world. Tony allowed his deep depression to drag him into the world of substance and abuse. He coped through very unhealthy methods and spiraled into a dark hole. Howard's most trusted and ancient business partner, Obadiah Stane took hold of the company during Tony's meltdown. It wasn't until the boy hit his 20s that he decided to take control of his life. He vowed off any and all drinking and addiction. Suddenly Tony took hold of his inheritance and was the owner of a goliath company, one of the worlds largest suppliers in weapons manufacturing. He took it up with ease, having excelled during his time at MIT enough to take on anything. The young genius was the inspiration for the future, inventing and running the company like never before. He was a symbol for the New Age.

Then Obadiah Stane happened.

The company grew and they both became even more successful, especially with Tony's new Jericho missile. This piece was a revelation in the industry. On a trip in the middle east to gain buyers, Tony's fleet was attacked by the very weapons he built. The genius and innocent American soldiers were blown up by his own pieces of work. The sight of the very weapons Tony built to protect Americans actually taking their lives was traumatizing. But the aggressors wouldn't settle with just the death of the inventor. They wanted his genius and work. They surgically implanted a magnet inside his chest to stop metal shrapnel from entering his heart, thus 'saving his life'. The group was called the Ten Rings. They demanded Tony build them the Jericho in exchange for his freedom. Or so they claimed. He knew that he would be killed eventually, but this was no place to die. Not when Tony hadn't even accomplished something notable enough for his father's pride.

There, Tony met Yinsen. The humble translator was the person who inspired Tony to keep going, to not give up and not submit. He was Tony Stark. The Tony Stark and no one can take that from him. Yinsen reminded him of the teachings he learned from Jarvis, motivating him even more. He assisted Tony in assembling not only a powerhouse for a source of renewable energy the size of Tony's palm, but an escape plan. The power house of energy was an Arc Reactor Tony used to power his magnet and their transportation to escape. From only the scraps left available to them, they constructed a suit of metal. The plan was almost a success. The only unplanned part was Yinsen sacrificing himself.

He stared into Tony's eyes smiling. "Don't waste your life, Stark. Don't waste it." Those last words had burned themselves into Tony's mind forever and was the push he needed to survive the desert ahead.

James Rhodes had known Tony ever since MIT. They were the kind of friends to hold each other accountable when they fell short and lift the others mood when they needed it. Rhodey was Tony's big brother in a way. He was Tony's protector and guide through his screwed up world. The genius' best known friend soon became his savior from the desert wasteland. The helicopter landed with a cloud of sand and dust, causing the tears in Tony's eyes to fall. He fell to his knees and held up a signature peace sign. It made Tony's heart throb in thanks at the sight of his friend running to him, tears in the other man's eyes as well.

"Next time, you ride with me, ok?" He said as he clung to his brother.

In short, said business partner, Obadiah Stane, was discovered to be the mastermind behind the kidnapping plot and seller of weapons to terrorists. Together, Tony, Pepper and Rhodey were able to stop the man's ploy in taking over the company and ending Tony. Stark was able to use the very metal suit that helped him escape to defeat Stane. Each had an updated version of the weapon and after an intense battle, Tony came out victorious. Stane fell to his death despite Tony’s attempts to save him, Stark Industries stopped weapon production, and Tony started a new exploration into new technology and renewable power.

Pepper Potts had known Tony ever since his inheritance took place. She was the only one who knew how to beat him into shape and stand up to him. She was beautiful and brilliant. Tony's heart burned for the woman as she moved her way up the company ladder, becoming his number 2. As she watched him walk off of the plane, rescued from Afghanistan, Tony could see the red in her eyes and a smile grew on his face to see the love in her eyes. With her resilience and audacity, Pepper was the one to gather the proof to convict Stane and help Tony and Rhodey bring him to justice.

The metal suit in turn became Iron Man, a superhero of sorts, and was Tony's other half. It was used to destroy all of the black market stark weapons and put an end to the terrorist organizations that carried them. It was at a press conference (where the trio attempted to explain the happenings of Obadiah's insane plots) that the world heard Tony Stark state the phrase:

"I am Iron Man."

And so, Iron Man was born.

Chapter Text

Steve 

Gone. Everything was gone. Everything Steven Rogers had ever known had suddenly vanished without a trace. His friends, his apartment, his community, his life, everything that had made him who he was was extinct. He had been asleep for 70 years, presumed dead to all the people he knew and to those who knew him. It seemed like something from a fiction sci-fi movie, and he was Captain America for crying out loud. Apparently all the Howling Commandos rested peacefully in a Cemetery in Washington. Howard Stark was resting in upstate New York with his wife, Maria. Peggy was holed up inside some nursing home, suffering from dementia, barely remembering what she had for breakfast. Bucky was still gone. He just couldn't process it. Steve had gotten so good at handling change, just not this. This was too much. 

The eye patch guy introduced himself as Nicholas Fury, the director of a security organization called S.H.I.E.L.D. It specialized in weird things like Steve, claiming they could help him. After an elongated presentation of proof that this was indeed the reality Steve was in, they sat him down in a comfy room with some 'doctors'. Fury was still by his side as well as some intimidating woman named Maria Hill. He felt cornered in almost. He was seated on a plush couch that was quite soft, facing an identical couch that contained a small woman with a sad smile. She held a notebook in her lap and a pen. The ruby sweater she wore reminded Steve of when the Commandos and himself had to trudge through a giant field of poppies as they prepared to gather Intel on a Hydra base. He remembered that mission. Afterwards they hit one of the bars in town; Steve had accidentally given Bucky a friendly slap on the back and underestimated his strength, sending the brunette straight to the floor. That was a good laugh.

"Fury, if you don't mind, I would like to speak to Mr. Rogers alone." Her accent was sharp and sounded quite pleasant. It was smooth and comforting in a way. It sounded African. 

"Of course. Captain, Hill can bring you to your new quarters once your session with Dr. Emem is over. I will meet up with you tomorrow." 

With a flip of his coat, Fury slipped out of the room with Hill on his heels. Steve kept his blue eyes low to the floor, mind still attempting to process. 

"Hello, Steven, my name is Dr. Emem , but you can call me Daliah if you would like. It is lovely to meet you." 

Steve's throat felt like he hadn't spoken in ages. Which was not entirely false. "It’s nice to meet you too." 

He sat up slightly, keeping his hands clasped in his lap. When their eyes met, Daliah gave him a small smile which felt like some version of praise for the eye contact. 

"I cannot even begin to imagine how you are handling all of this right now," she paused, giving him a chance to speak up. She continued when he was silent. "How are you feeling?" 

The silence that followed felt somewhat dark to Steve. He couldn't explain why. "I...I don't really know how to explain it." 

"And that is ok, it's always ok to not know how you are feeling. That is what I would like to help you with here." 

Confusion flooded Steve's head as he felt a sudden lump grow in his throat. Why does he feel like crying right now? They haven't even gotten to anything deep yet. 

"I would like to meet at least once a week. Maybe twice if that is ok." 

Steve nodded. 

"And I would like to emphasize that seeing me is for your benefit. This transition is unprecedented, and I would like to help you. That does not make you weak, none of this makes you weak in any way." 

Another small nod. At this point Steve had dropped his eyes, staring at the bowl of bluish white marbles on the coffee table in front of them. They glistened like an ocean would in the high noon. Steve suddenly felt his palms grow sweaty. 

"I also do not want to push you to share anything you are not comfortable with sharing, but if this is going to work, there needs to be some communication." 

Steve began to get nervous. He was always a talker, why all of the sudden was he so nervous to share his feelings? This is something kindergarteners know how to do. 

"I'm...Lost," he finally spit out. 

"Lost? Lost how?" Daliah flipped her pen back so it pointed at the notebook. 

"I just...feel like I still can’t process where I am. I don't even feel like myself right now. It's hard to explain." 

She scribbled for a moment before leaning forward. "That was perfect. Thank you Steven." 

"Steve please."

She smiled. "This may take some time for your brain to adapt to what has happened. It will take a long time to recover. This was not a quick hurdle that came into your life and you just need one jump to overcome it. You need to have patience and cooperation with your mind. It will need time to process and heal." 

Steve nodded in understanding. That made sense. 

For the next hour, the Doctor asked Steve to describe his childhood and past. The more they talked, the more Steve shared and began to feel better. There was one point where he almost broke down, mentioning a time when Peggy, Bucky and himself disguised themselves as Bulgarian tourists and ended up banned from a bar in Amsterdam. The memory was still fresh in his mind, and that was when the thought hit him: that that would never happen again. He would never be able to reminisce about that time with anyone. He would never be able to dress up and get banned from bars with the two people he loved the most in the world. It was all gone. They were all gone and so were their memories. The only place they remained was with Steve alone. Only him. 

Daliah explained how these thoughts were natural and would be healthy to experience. These were the thoughts that would show that he is processing everything. 

She assigned him homework which was to, weird enough, to cry. Crying would help ease his mind and release some of the pressure that was sure to come in the future. By letting out his emotions gradually, he would feel healthier and lighter, and they would be less likely to bottle up.

Maria came by again to bring Steve downstairs to the medical floor for a check up of sorts. The physical was mostly a blur for him. They recorded his vitals and attached some weird helmet to his head for his brainwaves. The Doctors said that he was in top condition physically, and he would be "just fine". Hill didn't talk much, only the occasional comment on where things were and what certain rooms were used for. 

It was around 6 in the evening when they arrived at the top floor and entered Furys office. Hill dismissed herself, leaving Steve sitting in front of Fury, a large black desk separating them. Steve took up his typical military stance, back straight and face serious. 

"You must be exhausted." Fury let out a breath and leaned back in his chair relaxing. 

"A little I guess, sir." 

"You don't have to address me like that, Captain. It’s only protocol for," he paused gesturing to the door. "Those bastards." 

"Well then, you can just call me Steve in that case," Steve replied, biting his tongue when the automatic ‘sir’ almost came out on impulse.

Fury smiled as Steve finally leaned back slightly, relaxing. 

"I don't want to overwhelm you, but you're gonna be overwhelmed. I have a man I would like you to meet tomorrow. Not today though, you need at least 8 hours of sleep to handle 5 minutes with him," Fury chuckled. "He can help with the adapting thing. We have an apartment set up for you around the corner. Or there are plenty of rooms here if you wish to be close. Just didn't think you would want to feel like you grew a second shadow if I only offered for you to stay here." 

"Thank you, I think the one down the street would be fine." 

"...I'm sorry that all of this happened this way. It must be hard." 

Steve downcast his eyes, frowning a little. 

"We will give you a cell phone, it's like a portable radio to contact us with, if you ever need anything." 

They chatted a little more and then Maria came back to take Steve to the apartment. The ride was silent, Steve felt almost empty as he was dropped off and shown around. Hill was sweet and gave his arm a squeeze after he was settled and knew the basic operations of the "flip phone". It must have been around 9 o'clock, but that didn't stop Steve from numbly stripping off his gray sweatpants, sneakers, and t shirt and laying on top of the covers, listening to the car horns below. He stared at the wall and then the window. The building across the street was a red brick as opposed to the one he was in, which was tan. In one of the windows, there was a couple arguing rather intensely. The girl had her finger pointed in the man’s face and then turned it to the door. The man’s face turned from shocked to confused as he yelled back. Sighing, Steve turned his back to them and faced the rest of the room instead. The apartment was small and cozy. It was decorated with a 40’s feel of sorts, but Steve never felt further from home. He groaned and took a pillow, slamming it against his ear to try and block out some of the horns from outside. 

Steve didn’t sleep much that night. Especially not after the nightmares.

--<>--

Tony

Alarm clocks were the reason Tony hated life. The sudden blaring sound emitted from the night stand right beside the brunettes head. A loud groan slipped through his lips as his hand came down like a tidal wave, smashing the STOP button on the clock. The lavender silk sheets felt amazingly warm, not helping at all in getting Tony up for the day. In minutes, Tony was back to drifting off into dreamland. He could already see his previous dream coming back, fresh in his mind when a loud voice erupted from the ceiling. Tony could have cried.

“Sir, may I remind you of your appointment with Director Fury at 10 today.”

Jarvis was Tony’s AI that he had invented and installed into his building. Yes, he owned and lived in an entire building by himself. Talk about a loner. The AI was like a digital butler who mainly sassed Tony and told him what to do. He also ran the calculations Tony didn’t feel like doing when he was working in his workshop.

“Jarvis, you interrupted a very good dream.”

“ My apologies, Sir. How unfortunate.”

“Little shit.” 

Reluctantly, Tony rolled out of bed, feeling like a turtle. He stepped out into the cold air, goosebumps littering his tan skin.Trudging to the bathroom was a chore, but once Tony’s body was clean, hair tamed to perfection, and breath smelling fresh, he was feeling much better. By the time he was dressed and in his car, he was only 5 minutes late. The phone call from yesterday was still fresh in his mind. Hearing the news that THE Captain America had been found alive shook Tony to his core. He would actually be able to meet the man that his father idolized so much, and he was even asked to assist the Captain. Part of Tony did not even want to see this man. This part had nothing but hatred for this so called hero and completely loathed him. The other part wanted to have a ‘fangirl’ attack over the idea that he was going to help this man adapt to the future and possible house him. That’s right. Fury asked Tony specifically that if Captain Rogers wanted, he could reside in Stark towers. 

They did want to still monitor Steve and keep him training, but they also didn’t want to make him feel like he was confined in anyway. Living with the only connection he had to his past, with Tony being the son of Howard, might help Steve, making him feel less trapped and be more exposed to the future and accepting it. 

Tony arrived in his Audi a quarter past 10, pulling into a spot at the SHIELD headquarters. The weather was fairly nice, it was a cool autumn day with a mostly cloudy sky. There was a slight chill in the air that made Tony pull up the collar on his coat. The lobby was buzzing with people, running in every direction. It was a perfect display of total chaos. Tony groaned to himself, making a beeline straight for the elevator. Taking one last glance at his reflection in the elevator wall, he entered the top floor and marched through the door to Fury’s office. 

“Eagle eye! Oh, how I missed you.” 

Fury sat at his desk, facing the door as his chin rested in his hands, glaring daggers at the man who just barged into his office. “Stark. Can’t say the same.”

“Aw, Nicky, you know you love me.”

Fury only shook his head and motioned to the person sitting in front of him. Sitting in the cheap metal chair was a blond Adidos. The man stood up and immediately Tony imagined a skyscraper. This guy was huge! Tony was able to stop himself from gaping and instead stuck his hand out. 

“And you must be the iceman.”

Deep ocean eyes met Tony’s brown ones as they shook each others hands. 

“It’s a pleasure.” He sounded emotionless, which concerned Tony. His face seemed like it was trying to smile, but Tony could see right through it. This guy was in pain. "I never thought I would be meeting Howard Stark's son in the flesh. Or even thought that he would have a son." 

Tony's smile faltered as he released Steve's hand at the comment. He brushed the disturbance off as he tugged on his coat and cleared his throat, forcing a chuckle, "oh, yeah, not really the father type right?" 

Steve seemed to notice his discomfort; Tony could see his smile falter just as Tony's did. 

"Well, I suppose Nicky here filled you in," Tony said with his award winning press smile. 

Steve nodded. "He said you were willing to provide a room for me which I'm very thankful for." 

"Oh, yeah no problem. Figured I might as well pay you back for saving the country a few times back in the day." 

"Just don't corrupt the man, Stark," Fury eyed him dangerously. "The world could still benefit from his skills." 

"Yeah yeah, I get it." 

Tony rolled his eyes at Fury and spared a glance to Steve. The soldier was staring down at him as if he were studying Tony. The smaller just gave him a small smirk, winking. 

"Alright Roger's! Let's blow this popsicle stand." 

Chapter Text

Steve

Tony's car was very fancy and very sleek. The seats were so incredibly comfortable that Steve could have slept like a baby if he had 5 seconds of silence. This was impossible to obtain however as Steve discovered that Tony was indeed a talker. Ever since they entered the elevator Tony had started going non stop. He never expected that Howard would have a son, but they did look very alike. Tony was slightly different but their build and height were the same, very small but lean. 

After Steve's long and restless night, he had another check up. Afterwards Fury greeted him once again, asking about the accommodations. That was when he sat Steve back down in his office and told him about Tony. He told him a quick story about the man being kidnapped and escaping with a metal suit now known as Iron Man. Not much was known about what exactly happened in Afghanistan, but people mostly speculated. The suit was incredible. Steve couldn't help but gape at how one man could construct such a piece of machinery, this was indeed Howard's son. The thought actually sparked a little light in Steve's chest. At least he had something from his past. 

To make matters even better, Fury informed him about an offer to stay with Tony so he wasn't holed up in the apartment alone. Stark was the one who Fury thought would be good at helping Steve learn about the culture and technology of this age. Steve never jumped at an offer so fast (except for Project Rebirth of course) and was happy to take the chance to escape that hellhole. Maybe having company would help the nightmares and even help the processing his brain was doing like Dr. Emem said. 

Of course Steve would keep having to have check ups to monitor his health and work back into training. They never mentioned anything about him going back to work, but he had a feeling that discussion was upcoming. Not that he had a problem with it. The work would most likely benefit him, get him back into a routine and distract his thoughts. 

Tony seemed like...a character you could say. He was very casual but something about him seemed off. One mention of Howard shut off any charisma and was replaced with a rehearsed smile and joke. Steve made a mental note about the touchy subject. Maybe Tony wasn't as similar to Howard as Steve originally thought. The genius had wild curly brown hair as opposed to Steve's neat kept blond locks. He also had rich hazel eyes and strange facial hair. Very strange. Nevertheless, Tony seemed to be thrilled to have Steve around. Probably because it gave him someone to talk at. Steve didn’t want to use a word with negative connotation because nothing about Tony’s ramblings were negative to him. Quite the opposite in fact. Tony was just...communicative? Yeah. Communicative. 

They sped around the corner and through the city as Tony yapped on and on about something on the radio. 

"But you can never beat Classic Rock. The 70's were such a time to be alive if you dug that genre." 

Steve hummed. "I was never really one for music," he paused, thinking. "Or dancing." 

"Well, it's really changed since then. There are so many variations it's hard to find something you don't like. That's why it's so good, there's a song for everyone. As for dancing, I don't even think we should be calling it dancing anymore. It's more of flailing arms and flying bodies." Tony laughed, eyes glued to the road. Steve observed the way his hands clutched the steering wheel like his life depended on it. It was nice to know it wasn't just him who was nervous. "I can always show you a thing or two if you'd like. Although I'm a bit rusty." 

"Sure," Steve shrugged. 

There was a small moment of quiet with just the sound of the radio until Tony spoke up once again, voice soft. 

"I'm overwhelming you aren't I? I'm known as a talker." 

Steve looked at him and could see him looking to steve from behind purple sunglasses. 

"Oh, no, no it's fine. I-I kind of like it." 

"Oh..well good!" 

"Its weird, ever since I woke up everyone has been treating me like a basket case, which, yeah, maybe I am. But they all talk in soft voices like I'm about to break. At least you act like I'm normal." 

Tony hummed. "Sorry to say but I definitely don't think you're normal, Mr. Clean." 

Steve frown at Tony in confusion. Mr. Clean? 

"Oh, sorry, it's a mascot for a cleaning company. He's just a really muscular dude." 

"Oh, so," Steve said, attempting at humor. "You think I'm muscular." 

Tony put the car in park and proceeded to finally look steve head on. "They had mirrors in the 40s right? Because have you seen yourself?" 

Steve laughed. He laughed genuinely for the first time since he had woken up, and it felt good. This felt good. Maybe he was going to be ok. They got out of the car and Tony turned to Steve, glasses tipping down his nose.

“You didn’t have a bag or anything, did you?” 

“Oh, no. Not unless you wanna make a stop at the Smithstonian.”

Tony snorted, bursting into laughter. He tried to cover it up by covering his mouth with his hand, but it did nothing. The laughter became contagious, and Steve found himself chuckling as well. 

“Who-” Tony tried to say between breaths, “Who knew Cap had a sense of humor. That was so unexpected.” 

And there it was. Tony’s hand finally lowered, revealing a smile. This wasn’t like the one he gave Steve before in Fury’s office, this was real. It was something that Steve felt was rare for the man in front of him. It seemed like something that was saved for only special people. Knowing that Steve might be one of those people to Tony already gave him a warm feeling. He may never see his old home again, or feel it again, but something new occurred to Steve. Maybe he could make a new home here. 

“Ok, are you ready for the ultimate tour?”

Steve smiled, following Tony to the elevator at the end of the garage. As they approached the silver doors, Steve couldn’t help but observe the dozens of shiny cars that also occupied the garage. They all were nothing like the newer ones outside, these looked different. Maybe Tony was into cars and collecting them?

“You like my babies?”

Steve turned back to look at Tony, who was smirking at him near the doors. 

“Oh, I mean, yeah. There’s...so many of them.” 

“Yeah, There are 13 of them. Most are from my Dad.”

“Which is your favorite?”

That one comment led to another tidal wave from Tony explaining each and every thing he loved about his cars and what occasions he used each of them for. Steve started to grow used to hearing Tony’s voice. It was kind of comforting, giving him a sense of grounding. Tony also seemed to enjoy using his hands a lot when he spoke. He would wave them around, make gestures, or just fiddle with his fingers. 

They finally finished the car tour and entered the elevator. Tony pointed to each floor describing what was on them. Most were for storage but there was a lab, Tony's workshop, a gym and a bunch of other floors that Steve forgot. He would probably only be needing to know where the gym and maybe Tony's workshop was to find him if he needed anything. They finally stopped and the doors opened to reveal a beautiful floor. There was a large kitchen to the right and a living room straight ahead with the largest TV Steve had ever seen. The window took up the entire back wall, giving them a gorgeous view of the while city. The sun was still high in the sky, shining off the top of every building. Steve approached the glass without a second thought, looking below. The cars looked like small insects as they drove from street to street. Steve had never seen anything quite like it. 

“Cool, huh?” 

“Yeah.” 

Steve hadn’t realized that Tony had followed him to the window and was looking down as well, hands clasped behind his back. 

“I think it might snow tomorrow. That always looks cool from here.”

Steve, finally satisfied with his gazing, turned to take in the rest of the floor. There was a bar in the corner to the left and a hallway across the room to the right. Probably where the bedrooms lay. 

“So this is one of my guest floors I usually use for storage, but this one is entirely yours.”

Now that caught Steve’s attention as he turned to the smaller man with a look of perplexity. “Floor? I thought I was just getting a room?”

“What? No,” Tony shook his head, finally removing those silly sunglasses. “This is all yours. You can cook, hang, have people over, I don’t care. Steve, I have plenty of room. Probably too much if you ask me.”

Steve stuttered, still dumbfounded. “I can’t begin to thank you for this-”

“Please, save me the sappy stuff. I’m just happy this floor is being used for something other then dusty boxes.”

“Still, thank you.”

Tony waved a hand. “And we also need to get you some new clothes because I am not digging those SHIELD sweats.” 

Steve could feel the heat rising to his face when he looked and realized what he had been wearing the whole time. Grey, baggy pants with a simple t shirt. He looked back at Tony to see him in sleek dress pants, what looked like a silk red shirt and a soft black overcoat. Embarrassment flooded his face, as he hoped Tony wouldn’t detect it. 

“We can go tomorrow if you want? Or I can send someone tonight to pick up some things if you don’t want to go out? Or you can just go out on your own tomorrow if you’d prefer that?”

All of the options seemed to run out of Tony’s mouth at a mile a minute, as it took Steve a second to process it. 

“Well, I’d like to maybe get out and explore a little. But if you’re busy then don’t worry. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you. Or bother you in-”

“Great!” Tony cut in before Steve could even finish. “I have to talk to my secretary but I’ll clear my schedule. Two days off and I’m loving it!”

Steve smiled in relief. He was excited to finally get out into the real world and face this new reality. He was also very appreciative that he wouldn’t have to be doing this on his own. Tony seemed like great company and seemed like he would know where to go for clothing. He also seemed just as excited as Steve to get out, have some fun, and actually spend time with Steve. Maybe. That could just be Steve getting ahead of himself, but overall, all of this felt really nice. 

“Ok, so, I’m sorry to say that I could only get out of my morning stuff. I have to scoot for a couple hours to make a business call, but we can do dinner if you want?”

“Sure. And thank you again, Tony.”

“So, SHIELD gave you a phone right?”

Steve nodded, pulling it out of his pocket. The automatic look on Tony’s face was hilarious. He looked like he had just touched a dead frog or something. He grimaced at the sight of the phone and Steve could have sworn the man almost hissed. 

“Oh, my gosh. Why?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s a flip phone. For old people.” Steve sent Tony a look that said ‘And look who you're talking to’. “No, no I mean like actual old people. Alright. I see I have a lot of work ahead of me.”

Then, if it could get any stranger, Tony turned, looking up to the ceiling and started to speak. 

“Jarvis?”

" Yes, Sir." 

Steve felt his body respond before his mind even knew what was happening. He took to the defense and threw himself against Tony, boxing him against the window. His blue eyes searched the room frantically but found no one. He could feel the adrenaline circulating through his body, as his arm curled behind him, gripping Tony’s forearm to keep him in place. 

“St-steve. It’s ok. There’s-There’s no danger,” Tony choked out as Steve’s back sandwiched him against the glass, crushing him practically. “It’s a computer. An artificial intelligence. I made him.”

At this moment, Steve had never felt more embarrassed in his life. Heat ran from his neck all the way up to his ears at the fact that he had reacted so dramatically. It burned crimson as he slowly turned and released Tony from the wall. Clammy hands came up to massage his temples before dropping back into his pockets.

“O-oh, I’m so so sorry, Tony. I guess I’m just not used to the future yet. I didn’t mean-”

“Hey, Steve.” 

The soldier stopped his rambling to look up sheepishly at Tony who was giving him a soft gaze. 

“It’s ok. I should have warned you. It’s normal for you to be jumpy and react like that. From now on,” he paused to put a hand on his heart and raise the other. “No more surprises. Boy Scout promise.”

The blush finally started to fade from Steve’s face as he nodded. “You were in the Boy scouts.”

Tony scrunched his nose, scowling at Steve. “What does that tone mean? You don’t think I could have done the Boy Scouts?” 

“N-no. I’m just surprised.” Steve laughed at Tony’s frustration. 

The engineer threw his hands up with a flourish of dramatics and marched to the kitchen. “Fine! You caught me. Rich boy prefered the indoors just as you would have thought.”

Steve followed behind, watching as Tony open the fridge, revealing a fully packed stash of food. “I never said that.”

Tony ignored his comment, too absorbed in his hunt for a midday snack. “If you ever need anything, and I mean anything.” Tony turned to glance at Steve seriously. “Give me a call. I put my contact in your disgrace of a phone. You can also ask Jarvis. He’s just a computer in the ceiling who can answer any questions or get you whatever you need.”

Steve nodded, suddenly feeling uneasy. The mood in the room seemed to have shifted as Tony settled on grabbing a yogurt. 

“Once my call is done, I’ll come right back and we can watch a movie or something.”

After a few minutes of Tony setting Steve up with the tv, showing him the basics of it, he headed out, leaving Steve by himself on the couch. So far, Steve’s initial judgement of Tony was...mixed. He seemed to be very indulgent to be offering Steve a chance to reside in his own home. He liked to find the humor in things, displaying a carefree type of attitude. It was easy to get along with Tony. He did love to talk but when someone else would speak, he wore a look of utter infatuation, seeming to listen with all ears. Steve really appreciated that. No matter what Steve said, Tony always looked genuinely interested. It wasn’t until Steve’s moment of panic that the atmosphere changed. He turned colder and quieter. Maybe he just didn’t know how to react to something like that, or maybe he was a little too familiar with panic attacks. Anyway, Steve didn’t want to speculate. The man was already too kind for words, so Steve didn’t want to over analyze the poor man. He instead proceeded to flip from channel to channel, watching in awe at how defined the images were. They were so clear and colorful; it almost seemed like he could reach out and touch the people. Eventually Steve settled on a documentary about animals in the rainforest, watching in fascination. He slowly let his mind wander, sparing a glance at the gray ceiling above him. 

“Uh...ceiling computer?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers?”

“Can...can you like, see me right now?”

“I am able to record through several cameras, but no, I can only listen and answer commands unless you ask for me to record.”

“Oh. Ok.”

“And may I welcome you to Stark Tower. It is nice to know there will be someone to accompany Sir.”

“Oh, well thank you. Can you tell me where Tony is now?” Steve asked shyly, quickly adding, “I’m just curious.”

“Sir is on a conference call one floor above you in his penthouse.”

“Ok. Thank you Jarvis.”

“It is my pleasure Captain.”

Steve then got a brilliant idea, as he abandoned his seat watching macaws and leopards, rushing to the kitchen in search of a pan. A feeling of giddiness that he hadn’t felt since he kissed Peggy overwhelmed him as he got to work.

Chapter Text

Tony

“Such an idiot!” A loud smack rang out as Tony’s palm made contact with his forehead. He leaned against the cool elevator wall, relishing in the relief it provided for his burning skin. Hopefully Steve didn’t notice his flushed skin from the embarrassment he had caused himself. Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut for just 5 minutes. This was his first impression with Captain America, and he already seemed like a blubbering fool. But Tony couldn’t help himself. He felt oddly comfortable with the blond, and it was all too tempting to pour out whatever came to his mind to the man. The Captain never seemed to give him any signal to stop or that he was annoyed, but Tony still felt like he had annoyed him somehow. 

No one in his entire life had ever made him feel this self conscious since Pepper. Ever since he met her, Tony felt the overwhelming urge to impress the woman and break through her deeply intimidating atmosphere. For Steve it must have been all of those stupid stories and lectures his father would give him, subconsiously applying pressure to impress this stranger even though Tony couldn’t care less. He didn’t want to, but the engineer couldn’t help but feel the need to avoid disappointing this man. It may also have to do with the fact that Steve was like a blank slate for Tony. The man was oblivious to all the gossip and stigma around his name and playboy label, which ended after he and Pepper dated for a while. This could be a possible chance for Tony to have a genuine person in his life who actually wanted to be his friend and wasn’t forced to be there like Pepper, Happy or Rhodes. Even though deep down Tony knew they still loved him for who he was.

Ok, now this sounded obsessive. Stupid overthinking. Tony just had to breath, stop overanalyzing the situation, and actually get this business call over with. Entering his penthouse, Tony grabbed a spoon for his yogurt and dialed the number for one of his largest clients. They ended up settling on a contract after 2 hours, leaving both parties happily satisfied. He hung up and took his strawberry snack to his office to type up a report and send the confirmation to Pepper and the board which took another hour and a half. Once that all was settled, Tony sighed happily, and did a victory spin in his wheely chair. The window behind him was a sight to behold, as it was every night. Each building was it’s own Christmas tree, each light glistening like stars. The sun hadn’t fully set yet, but it was settling between 2 buildings casting a pleasant orange curtain onto every building in the city. It blended tastefully with the shadowy purple of the night sky that was coming around the corner on the opposite side of the world. No matter how long one lives in New York City, you never get used to a view like that. 

Taking a quick shower and throwing on a pair of sweats (Tony felt guilty for the way Steve looked when he realized Tony had dressed to the nines for no apparent reason), Tony strolled to the elevator to go to Steve’s floor. He hoped he hadn’t taken too long, and Steve was still feeling up to ordering food with him and hanging. There was a large possibility he did not find the tv amusing enough and was bored to death. 

The second the metallic doors glided open, Tony was hit with an overpowering eroma of Italian cuisine. It was carbonara. It had to be. He knew that smell by heart thanks to his mother and his grandmother’s recipe. The smell alone made Tony’s mouth water. His nose went on autopilot as it directed his feet to the source of the savory scent that seemed to levitate around the kitchen. He opened his eyes to the sight of Steve a centimeter away from a tablet on the counter, stirring something in a skillet rather aggressively. And Tony would like to note that he was not, absolutely not, staring at the man’s biceps for a solid 10 seconds. 

“Tony?”

His hazel eyes snapped up onto blue ones, as he was finally brought out of his hypnotic trance. “You made this?”

Steve smiled genuinely. He looked like a bona fide proud puppy. “Yes! I know that this is not even close to what you have done for me, but I asked Jarvis what your favorite foods were and figured the fridge was full. I hope you don’t mind-”

“Steve. This is amazing. I-I have no words. No one has ever…” Was there a lump in Tony’s throat? Why was there a lump? “Thank you.”

The soldier smiled again, turning back to shut the stove off. “I know it’s not a burger king, or whatever that is, but I figured your second favorite seemed a little classier.”

“Hey, don’t you dare drag Burger King’s name through the mud. They have gotten me through many late night work binges.” 

Steve chuckled as he bent down to open the oven. Sitting in the middle rack was a tray of golden, heavenly garlic bread. 

“I’m surprised you were able to get the hang of all of this so fast,” Tony admired as he slowly migrated towards the dining area next to the kitchen. The light oak table sat in the center of the room accompanied with 2 matching chairs. The vast window was still casting that gorgeous orange and purple light around the room, filling it with a sort of calming atmosphere. Two pearl white plates sat in front of each of the chairs with a fork, knife and spoon; the silverware was settled on soft blue napkins, and to tie it all together, there was a vase with matching blue flowers. As Tony leaned closer, he observed the flowers were indeed fake. They were paper!

“A lot of the credit belongs to Jarvis,” Steve called through the doorway. “He was a very excellent supervisor.”

Tony smiled, reaching out and pinching a petal between 2 of his calloused fingers. It crinkled under his touch but the flower retained its shape. This was incredible. This man had carefully made flowers out of paper, cooked a divine meal with equipment he had never seen before, and all within 3 hours. 

“Do you like it? Is it too much?”

Suddenly, Steve was right behind Tony, holding a large bowl of pasta and a plate of bread. Tony was able to contain his startled jump and moved to the side for the man to put down the dishes. 

“No, no, it’s just. I was expecting to order from Wong’s tonight, but this is 100 times better.”

“I’m glad. I didn’t want to take any of Wong’s fire though.”

Eventually, the two men sat down together and dug in. Tony found it impossible to withhold the embarrassing food orgasm he had when he ate the first forkful of carbonara. It was amazing. Not like Maria’s but very very close. Steve flushed at all of Tony’s compliments, trying to brush them off. 

“No, no seriously. This means a lot coming from an authentic Italian. Who knew Cap could have been Gordan Ramsey.”

Steve cocked his head in confusion.

“Oh, sorry, he’s just a really iconic and talented chef.”

They continued to eat in a comfortable silence, enjoying the delightful meal the blond had prepared. Towards the end, Steve started asking Tony some questions about the current society and how the war ended. Shield had given him all the information they could in what little time they had, but it still wasn’t very satisfying. Their little dinner and history lesson had gone on for hours. Steve had actually snorted his water at one point and shot it out of his nose at a joke from Tony, as said man threw a spoon of pasta at the wall. They each slowly let their guards down and grew to have a very comfortable and easy-going dinner. Tony discovered Steve’s real laugh which happened to start as a wheeze and ended in a witch sounding cackle. He would always slap a hand to his chest or stomach every time he laughed. Every time. It was quite comical. Once they had finished, Tony started to pick up the dishes and clean. He loaded them into the dishwasher and turned back to see Steve leaning against the doorway. His eyes were cast downward, and somehow the atmosphere had changed. 

“I know that it’s a lot of information at once. No one is expecting you to be an expert by the end of the week or anytime soon.” Tony tried to reassure him, but that wasn’t the problem according to Steve’s response. 

He stood a moment, silent, slightly concerning Tony. When he spoke up, his voice was quiet and tired. “Is there a way I can see Peggy?” 

Tony’s eyes widened, he debated taking a step forward, but there was clearly a wall Steve had put up and Tony didn’t want to make it worse. “Agent Carter? Uh...sure. We can go tomorrow morning if you want.”

Steve nodded. Finally, after what felt like ages, he looked up at Tony with a sad smile. “Thank you.”

With that, Tony showed him where the bedroom down the hall was and where everything was in the bathroom. He thanked Steve once more for going above and beyond with dinner and bid him goodnight. As he rode the elevator up to the penthouse, he couldn’t get the sound of Steve’s witch laugh from his head. He hadn’t remembered the last time he had sat down to eat with someone that intimately where it wasn’t for business. Just friends. And so, Tony fell asleep that night, dreaming about that heavenly carbonara. 

--<>--

Steve

The first night at the tower was amazing. Steve finally felt a sense of comfort that he hadn’t felt since he had woken up. Tony’s company was so warm and inviting. As soon as the awkward beginning had melted away, all the tension in each of them bleed away with it. They had laughed an insanely amount over dinner, and Steve had even been able to draw back out Tony’s real laugh from the garage, which was a hilarious high pitched giggle where he would always bring up his hand to cover his face. Afterwards, Steve had spontaneously decided that he needed to see Peggy. He had to admit, it was a little out of nowhere, but after that night Steve felt so much better. He felt like he was finally going to be able to handle the reunion and accept it. Ever since he found out she had still been alive, he knew he had to go see her, it just never felt right until then. He just didn’t know if he should go alone, but after that night, Steve decided if anyone were to come along, he wanted it to be Tony. 

That morning, Steve opened his bedroom door to find a pair of jeans and a sweater that fit him well enough and definitely looked better than the sweats. There was a note that read 'Hope this fits and is maybe better than the Shield apparel. T.S.' The nightmares from that night were still fresh in Steve’s head as he got dressed. They had been bad but slightly toned down in a more tolerable manner. At least Steve didn’t wake up screaming, just disturbed. As he drifted in his bed, the events from dinner were still fresh in his head. The lingering images of them talking and the feeling Steve had when he laughed were all able to lull him to sleep comfortably. 

He changed and styled his hair with shaky hands in the mirror. The anxiety was starting to replace the lingering confidence he had the night before. It was around 9 when the soldier saw he received a text from Tony asking him if now was a good time to meet in the garage to go to the home Peggy was at. Steve started to grow a cold sweat at seeing what he was about to do in writing. It confirmed the realness of what was about to happen, and Steve started to have small doubts. He quickly replied and jumped into the elevator. He was going to see Peggy. After 70 years. A wave of nausea overwhelmed him as the doors opened, and suddenly Steve felt hot. Boiling hot. The room was small; it was too small, and Steve felt so hot. 

“Hey.”

Looking up, he saw the same small brunette from last night looking at him with concerned eyes. He was dressed more casually than yesterday, choosing jeans and a large maroon hoodie. There was a sad frown on his face as he cocked his head at Steve curiously. 

“We can still wait for this, Steve. Don’t push yourself to-”

“No," he shot back, possibly a little too aggressively. "I...I need to. It’ll be worse if I wait. It’s already been too long.”

Tony said no more, only nodding and leading them to the audi. Despite the cool fall air, Steve drove with the window open, letting the wind glide over his sweaty face. It felt amazing but did nothing for the growing knot in his gut. It felt overwhelming, like it had taken over his stomach and was now invading his lungs, tugging at his air supply. The whole ride was a blur even though Tony had kindly stopped at a florist to give Steve some flowers to give Peggy. That was sweet of him. Steve wanted to thank him more, but the twisting in his stomach prevented him from talking much. 

Suddenly they were parking in a large lot next to a tan building. There were many windows along each side of the home and a giant one on the east side that showed a glorious dining room full of retired patrons either talking or eating with each other peacefully. A large fountain sat in the front at the center of the entrance. Steve clutched the flowers with so much strength, he was surprised they didn't explode. He remembers feeling a cool hand resting on his shoulder as his feet carried him through the sliding doors and to the front desk. Thankfully, Tony did all the talking. Steve was positive he wouldn't be able to. He felt like he was in a dream. A dark twisted dream. 

"Hey, hey Steve, buddy." 

Looking down, he saw Tony standing with his hands resting on Steve's shoulders comfortably. His eyes were soft as was his expression. It was the kind of look you would give a wounded kitten. 

"I need you to take a deep breath for me." 

Steve followed Tony's example and finally allowed the oxygen to enter his screaming lungs. It felt amazing. 

"There we go. Again." 

Together, they breathed and Steve reconstructed his stance. The knot slowly was shrinking and the cloudiness was fading. 

"Ok, better?" 

Sadly, the hands left Steve's shoulders as Tony used them to rearrange the poor flowers in Steve's grip. 

"Yes," the soldier exhaled. "Thank you." 

"You still okay to do this?" 

"Yes, I'm ready. I need to see her." 

"Okay, I'll be right here waiting if you need anything." 

Steve smiled, feeling relief wash over him. Before he knew it, he was finally standing in front of a door that read ‘432’ on it in shiny chrome characters. He recalled Tony's previous instructions telling him to breath, as his clammy hand twisted the knob and opened the door. 

The window facing the door cast a warm glowing light from outside across the entire room. It was painted across a dresser, lamp, and bed in the corner. There, in it’s center was a frail woman. She had fluffy grey and white hair that seemed to glow in the warm sunlight. Her eyes were closed, but slowly, on propped up pillows, she turned her head and opened them. Those same light brown eyes from so long ago stared into Steve’s. They were the same, only slightly duller from living a full lifetime. They started to widen as they took Steve’s figure in, standing nervously in the doorway. His hands clenched onto the flowers he beared, causing the paper to make a deafening crinkling sound. 

“Steve? You’re alive?”

“Well, I couldn’t leave my best girl. Not when she still owes me a dance.”

The man hesitantly stepped further inside, closer to the astounded woman. 

“I can’t believe it. It’s been so long.”

Her soft accent was still prominent, bringing Steve back to a better time. There was a horse sound in her voice, and it sounded sad. He watched as her eyes grew glassy and stared in wonder at him. Her face was full of shock but also pure joy. He smiled sadly, through his own glassy eyes, entering the room to sit in the chair next to her bed. 

“H-how?” Her voice was slightly scratchy, but ever so soft as she questioned his presence. 

“Apparently ice freezes anything. Even time. I was stuck in that plane all this time until they found me. Well, Shield did.”

The older woman could only stare at him, slowly taking in his features, amazed as he looked exactly the same as he did the day he died. Her wrinkled hand shakely rose towards his face, with the desire to touch him, to prove this was real. Steve smiled, cupping her hand in his. He brought it to his cheek, watching her face grow even more surprised as she felt his skin. 

“I can’t believe it.” she said breathlessly. "I thought I'd never see you again."

“Neither did I. But I'm here now, Pegs. I missed you so much.” 

Peggy took a deep breath, dropping her hand. “I’m sorry to say that I’m not in the best condition to have that dance right now.”

Steve laughed sadly, his broken heart coming through with the sound. “How have you been?”

Her eyes drifted to the night stand beside her bed, and Steve’s followed. There were a couple of photographs with her and 2 beautiful kids smiling happily. 

“It took a long time, Steve, after you left, for me to accept it. But once I did, I had a family of my own. I never forgot you though. Not one day did I not think about you, dear." 

Steve didn’t look too long at the pictures. He turned back to see Peggy still staring at them. 

“I’m so happy for you, Peggy. That’s all I would ever want for you. A happy life.”

“Oh, don’t try that with me, Rogers.” Steve’s smile grew at the sound of her sass coming through. She was looking at him again, eyes full of admiration. “How are you, dear?”

Steve dropped his gaze to place the flowers on her bed. “It’s so...different. I just feel like-”

Before he could even finish, Peggy burst out in a coughing fit. Terror flooded Steve's chest like a tidal wave as he scanned the room for water. Leaping from his chair, he grabbed a cup on the dresser and gently handed it to her. Before she could grab it, the woman looked back at Steve and her face dropped. Her eyes widened just as they had before when he first came in, and she didn’t even have to say anything, Steve already knew what was coming next. 

“Steve?”

“Yes, Peggy?”

“Is that, is that really you? You came back? It’s been so long.”

“I know. I know it has. I’m sorry.”

Chapter Text

Tony

It must have been at least an hour as Tony sat in the waiting room, answering emails as he waited for Steve. Ever since that morning, the super soldier had been on edge. He looked like he could have fainted any second. Tony knew that he really wanted to do this; that it had to be done at some point, but the poor man looked like he was killing himself over it. Tony made sure to keep checking in on him, but everytime he said that he was ready, so here they were. He was also very glad they did those breathing exercises because Steve probably wouldn't have even made it to the room if they didn't. He looked 100% better afterwards, so hopefully he was fine. 

The building smelt like clorox and death, causing Tony to feel even more uncomfortable. At the moment he was about to hit his breaking point, a certain super soldier was coming back down the hall. His head was down and shoulders were hunched as he trudged towards the front doors. Not even sparing a glance at Tony, he walked straight out. The genius stood up abruptly to follow the soldier outside. At this point, it had gotten dramatically colder and clouds now covered the entire sky just as the weather channels had predicted. The bitter cold started biting at Tony's ears and nose as he made his way into the parking lot. Steve was storming straight to the audi as Tony followed behind cautiously. 

“Steve?" He attempted to call out. "How’d it uh...How’d it go?”

The man stood with his hand on the door handle, back towards Tony. His breaths were coming in short, ragged gasps,  and Tony could even see the shaking in his hands from here.

“She’s gone.” Steve said softly. “She’s gone, Tony.”

“Steve-”

“They are all gone. They all left me! Everyone left me all alone.” he finally turned around to face Tony, but his expression had changed. It was twisted in rage and pain. Utter pain. “She can’t even remember me. Bucky is still dead. And every single person I knew, everyone is dead. I feel like I’m in a nightmare, and I can’t wake up and no one can hear me! I can’t see, I can’t breath, I don’t know where I am. She told me to cry, My shrink. She said that I had to cry, but I can’t. Why can't I even do that? Even after every nightmare at night. After I see everyone I know vanish in front of me and I wake up alone, I can’t force a single tear. And everything is so different, it’s too different! I can’t handle this Tony. I can’t do it!”

The yelling stopped. And Steve paused. The rage started to fade as his shoulders and gaze dropped again. “It hurts. And I feel it all the time. It never stops.”

Slowly, Tony approached Steve. His form was hunched, hands at his sides, clenched into trembling fists. Ever so carefully, Tony stepped forward, slotting himself into Steve’s chest, wrapping arms around his large shoulders. Silently, he stood there, just holding the other male. The soldier froze and went tense for a moment. He seemed to not know how to react. Hesitantly, his arms encircled Tony’s frame, wrapping around his trim waist. He tucked his head into Tony’s neck and stood frozen in the hug. 

“I’m here.”

--<>--

Steve 

As Tony spoke his first words at that moment, a gasp escaped from Steve. Finally. Something broke inside of him, as realization hit him like a truck. He was actually alone. Everyone was actually gone. He wasn’t just saying it anymore. He was realizing it, seeing it. Something snapped in him as one gasp turned into 2, and Steve's chest began to quake. Tears slid out of each eye as he allowed his walls to crumble. Sucking in each breath as if it were his last, he broke. He broke right into Tony’s arms, in the middle of the parking lot. All the pain inside that he hadn’t even realized was there made itself known, and he moaned in pain. Tony’s hand slowly ran circles into Steve’s shoulder. 

Steve cried. He cried, and he finally felt everything. He closed his eyes and saw Peggy. He saw her sweet smile, brown hair and the gorgeous red dress she wore at the bar that one unforgettable night. He saw Bucky’s charming smirk, and he felt his hand on his shoulder. He heard him say, ‘Til the end of the line’. He saw him falling into an abyss of snow. He saw Peggy fading from existence, from his mind. He saw Howard smiling at him and also walking away into darkness. The same happened to each of the Howling Commandos, one by one. Opening his eyes, Steve looked up and saw white. Small flakes were falling silently around them. They danced in the winter air as they weaved themselves into Tony’s hair and landed all over them. 

He opened his mouth and finally breathed. He breathed for the first time since he had awoken, and it felt amazing. The cold air flooded his lungs and a weight left his chest. He was actually finally crying. The air trapped inside him escaped back into the atmosphere, displaying itself as a cloud of warmth against the winter air. 

Pulling away from Tony, Steve leaned back against the car, closing his eyes and feeling the snow on his face. It mixed with the tears that continued to silently stream down his cheeks. He could feel Tony’s arms let go of his shoulders, but one hand traveled down his arm, gripping Steve's own hand. It was because of the hand that he remembered someone was there. Someone was there.

He looked back down at Tony to see him staring softly up at Steve. His look contained no judgement, rather than Steve thought. It held understanding and patience. 

“You’re here.” Steve said, voice horse and quiet. It was practically a whisper.

“I’m here. Better?”

Steve took one more long breath, feeling the anxiety in his stomach finally settle a bit. “I think so.”

Tony didn’t respond for a moment, instead looking up at the clouds. He squinted at the flakes that fell onto his face, one on his cheek and the other on his brow. “It’s snowing.”

A chuckle rose from Steve’s chest, as he shook his head, feeling any tension that was lingering in the air dissolve. He used the black sleeves of his sweater to wipe away the remaining tears and redness. The chilly air began to nip at his runny nose, making it very uncomfortable. 

“It sure is. And I’m cold.” 

"Ok, good, same," a rush of words poured from Tony's mouth that Steve could barely process. Sadly, he let go of Steve's hand to wrap his arms around his torso and rushed around the car to get to the driver's seat. 

The doors unlocked and Steve practically folded himself in half again, squishing into the car. How could he have not noticed this before? 

Oh, right. Panic attack. 

"Heat, heat, heat," Tony chanted to himself as he cracked the dial and turned all the vents as if that would speed up the process. He tugged his hands into his hoodie sleeve, opening it in front of the vent, letting the warm air to travel through. Steve watched curiously, looking at his own sleeves. He mimicked the tactic and found it to be silly and practical. 

"You really are a genius," Steve laughed, causing Tony to reciprocate the sound. 

"Oh, honey, you should see what else I can come up with." 

Thankfully, Tony was too distracted with the task of backing out to notice the way the endearment caused a flush to crawl up Steve's neck. The way it sounded coming from Tony's mouth was...no, no he shouldn't be thinking this? Tony housed him, and is providing him with everything he needs. He is his best friend. And Steve's not queer. That's...ridiculous. Captain America couldn't be gay, that's not right. Steve was taught better. 

Shaking his head to attempt to clear it, he focused back onto the road, watching all the buildings and listening carefully as Tony explained the intriguing history of some. He was very knowledgeable, having the ability to just spew these facts randomly. 

"So, big ticket question, are you feeling ok to go pick up some clothes? Or do you wanna chill back at the tower? Your choice, no sweat." 

Steve thought for a moment, and while yes he was slightly exhausted, new clothes did sound like something he needed. He was also feeling much better about himself. "We can go to the store, I'm ok now." 

"Sure?" 

"Yes, definitely." 

--<>--

Tony

Tony had underestimated how strong Steve's push for 40's style fashion was. He was consistently grabbing every plaid shirt and tan khaki pants they passed, resulting in Tony snatching them away to give him jeans and sweaters. Once they collected all they needed (or rather Tony picked and chose articles of clothing, adding them to the pile Steve carried as he trailed behind), the duo hit the fitting rooms. 

"Come on, Steve, show me. It can't be that bad," Tony insisted, crossing his arms as he shifted on the uncomfortable bench he was perched on outside of the changing rooms.

"I-It just doesn't seem right?" 

"To you, gramps. But to normal people, it's good!" 

Slowly, the door creaked open, displaying Steve in rugged jeans, a blue striped button up and a crooked crew neck navy sweater. He was the embodiment of when you wrestle your cat into a dress against its will. His body was uncomfortably stiff, looking similar to a mannequin. 

Tony cracked a smile, snickering. "Ok, ok, let me help." 

Tony had purposefully picked this outfit along with many other options, trying to combine the style that Steve prefered while also trying to modern it up a little without totally making him uncomfortable. Standing up, Tony stood directly in front of the soldier. Thinking nothing of it, he reached around Steve's waist (or tried to at least) and tugged the button up down from where it bunched up under the sweater. He tugged the sweater too, fixing it from its twisted position. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and straightened. Stepping back, he put a hand over his mouth, silently admiring his work. Fighting a grin, Tony faked a sniffle as if he were crying.

"What?" Steve snapped, figure loosening. 

"It's just, they grow up so fast." 

A loud snort escaped Steve's lips, as he raised his hand to smack it against Tony's shoulder. "You're a child." 

"And you look hot!" 

Yes, Tony actually said that. It didn't process in his head until he saw Steve's reaction. The words had flown out of him before he could even realize what he was saying. A beet red color invaded Steve's pale skin as his eyes widened and smile faltered. "Oh, oh! In like a friend to friend way. Like, from a girls perspective, she could describe you using that word...hot." 

The slight frown the Steve wore turned into a small smile and a look of perplexity. "Okay? Thank you? I actually really like this."

The soldier turned around to look at himself in the mirror. As he did, Tony tried to calm his heart from the panic that was making it race. Why would he say something, especially in that tone ? He sounded so enthusiastic. 

After a few more outfit changes and adjustments from Tony, Steve was all set up with a new wardrobe. They got him several outfits, pajamas, gym wear and some basic hygiene necessities. At the end when they reached the cashier, Tony was so thankful that Steve was too distracted with the magazines and trinkets to see the price. He didn't want Steve to feel any guilt or negative feelings for the rest of the day. Tony couldn't even begin to imagine what Steve had been through that morning. Of course he probably was feeling better after having released a lot of his bottled up emotions. After hearing Steve say that he couldn't even cry, Tony felt his heart melt in sympathy. His mind immediately recalled some similar thoughts after Afghanistan. He has had a lot of experience with going through a traumatic event and not fully being able to understand it. 

"All set, sir. And here’s your receipt." 

Breaking from his thoughts, Tony looked up to see the cashier handing him back his card and proof of transaction. 

"Oh, oh yeah. Thanks." Taking the card, Tony looked back up to glance at Steve. He was still staring intensely at a celebrity magazine, a serious glare on his face. "Hey, Steve. Are you ready?" 

"Oh, yes," he replied, putting the book back in its place. 

"Do you want the magazine too?" 

"That? No, no, this is perfect." 

Tony's eye roll almost made his whole head roll off his neck. Releasing a long, exaggerated sigh, Tony leaned over Steve's ridiculously built body and snatched the damn book. 

"Now grab your crap." Tony slid the worker a 20 dollar bill as Steve started loading each bag onto his arms. 

The ride home was quiet, but not awkward. They each sat in a comfortable silence, each content with the day's accomplishments. The snow was still falling, slightly harder at this point and Tony wanted nothing more than to curl up on his bed and watch a movie. There were very few cars on the road as the radio broad casted the storms worsening condition. The sun had already set by then and the sky was dark with night. Each flake looked like a falling star under each lamp post the car traveled under. They danced through the air, drawing the car closer and closer to the large tower that was only a few blocks away. In the center of the dancing snow, the blue letters displaying Stark burned as a type of honing beacon. It beckoned Tony home, making him feel the days exhaustion more and more as they passed each block. 

"Tony?" Steve's voice sounded so quiet against the sound of the snow. 

"Yeah?" The tower was so close at this point. 

"What does bisexual mean?" 

The car swerved. It was a slight swerve that Tony easily corrected, but still violent enough for anyone to sense Tony's surprise towards the question. The tires squealed as the car turned back onto its original course, and Tony cursed. 

"Sorry, what?" 

"Um, bisexual? It's a term in one of these articles they keep using. And...your name is here too." 

Oh great, just great. What article was that even? He had already came out to the public with that years ago. The heat of Steve's eyes could be felt burning into the side of Tony's face, only fanning the flames to the small flutter of anxiety that blossomed inside Tony’s chest. He had already faced the judgment for that decision long ago, and he hadn’t been prepared for more, especially from Captain America himself. Not yet at least. The idea that this man, who obviously held traditional ideals, could quite possibly turn his back on Tony and abandon their friendship over a lifestyle Tony maintained, scared Tony to no end. The fact that this man also wasn’t just a normal person, but the person whom Tony’s father raved over for years and installed the urge to live up to Steve’s legacy, also fueled Tony’s fear. He never wanted to feel the need to obey his father, but this was something nailed into his brain permanently. Now that Steve was back, this need was more prominent than ever. He felt that somehow, if he was able to live up to Steve’s standards, in a way he would be not only impressing Steve, but also earning that small amount of pride that he had never gained from his Father before he passed. This was Tony’s only chance to obtain this and finally settle his uneasy feelings that still lingered all this time. If this were to be ruined, Tony would be stuck with this lack of pride forever. Therefore, with all of this in mind, when Steve mentioned this word and associated it with Tony, almost all of this hope of wholeness had vanished in Tony’s mind abruptly.

"Um, well, its… uh…" 

"Its ok, I don't want you to be uncomfortable-" 

"No, no, it's ok. You deserve to know. It's one of the biggest changes in our world."

Inching up to the gate, Tony was buzzed into the garage and pulled into his spot with ease. The silence was more deafening now that the engine was off and the snow no longer surrounded them. Tony wanted to downright stop breathing right then as it’s volume increased, or maybe it was only loud to Tony. His brain seemed to short circuit as the sound of his pounding heartbeat grew louder and louder too. He forced himself to focus and push these ridiculous thoughts back down. 

Opening the car door and stepping out, Tony waited for Steve to follow his action before he finally spoke up again. He could still save this. His eyes remained on the elevator doors ahead of him the entire time. “So...being gay.”

Chapter Text

Steve

“So...being gay is something I’m guessing you aren’t too...used to?” 

Steve nodded, watching Tony curiously as he practically jammed the button to the elevator a dozen times over. 

"Does...this mean you're gay?" 

The expression on Tony's face stayed the same, except it grew even more pronounced at Steve's comment. He seemed almost petrified: eyes wide, skin a shade paler, hands shaking as they were shoved into his pockets, and breath coming in short, quiet gasps. Regret seemed to blossom inside of Steve as he started to rethink his decision to bring up the topic. 

The day started out...interesting. He didn’t regret going to see Peggy, even though it did hurt, a lot. It seemed to release something that was trapped inside him. Before then, he felt this resistance whenever he would try to accept or even process his new reality, but now it felt real. Seeing her proved it, and Steve knew it was inevitable. The past, his home, was now buried by the inescapable curse of time. Everything he knew was gone, and he could finally feel it. Those few precious moments outside in the snowfall meant everything to him now. This made his pain real, meaning his healing could now be real. Progress could now be possible as all walls fell. There was one thing that helped him see this, helped him see the pain but not be consumed by it. This person said the only words that could help, and Steve will never forget them: I’m here. Those words helped him rise from this ocean of pain he would have fallen into if he were alone to a path of acceptance. He couldn’t wait to tell Dr. Emem about this breakthrough and how her advice, or ‘homework’ he should say, was proven successful.

After the slightly embarrassing breakdown, Steve was ready to move forward and agreed to still go through with their original plans. Shopping was more enjoyable as time progressed. At first, it was tense and awkward, but the ice was slowly broken, and Steve had the best time with his new friend. They fooled around, and despite what he originally thought, getting these weird new clothes was fun. Even if Steve won’t admit it out loud, it did make his face hot when he thought about how he would purposely put on every outfit wrong so Tony would fix it like the first one. It wasn’t until after they were at the registers that the mood shifted. Steve spotted a colorful magazine, flipping through it. The cover sported a small picture of a feature article with Tony’s face on it labeled “Celebrating a diverse community”. Flipping to the page, he read about different celebrities sharing their sexualities and his brain almost short circuited when he saw Tony’s winning press smile at number 5. Except, he wasn’t gay like most of them, he was ‘bisexual’. His investigation was cut short as Tony checked out, but even after Steve dropped the magazine, Tony still threw it on the counter to be bought as well. Sitting in the car, he stared at the word, anxious to ask. But what did it mean? Was Tony actually...gay? Was that ok now? It seemed to be, but were people still harassed for this? Suddenly, the idea of Tony being tormented for the way he lived popped into Steve’s mind, and he wasn’t disgusted. He was actually angry. Angry that people would think of hurting such a generous and kind human being. Tony didn’t deserve that, no matter what he believed in, he was genuinely a good, gracious person. He turned to look at said man, watching as he stared intently at the road, quietly. His eyes were wide as he stared ahead at the tower in the distance, straight ahead. He was probably really tired and looking forward to settling down for the night. 

When Steve asked about the meaning of the word ‘bisexual’, that alone seemed to disturb Tony enough to have him momentarily loose control of the vehicle. Steve would admit that his question was kind of sudden and random. To Tony it also seemed to strike a personal cord.

"Um, well, its… uh…" his voice grew distant, as he thought hard about his choice of words.

Shamefully, Steve was slightly anxious for an answer, but he would rather not put Tony into this kind of position after all he had done for him. "Its ok, I don't want you to be uncomfortable-" 

"No, no, it's ok. You deserve to know. It's one of the biggest changes in our world."

After pulling into the garage finally, he got out of the car and walked slowly to the elevators, eyes on the ground, looking at it as if it could whisper a possible answer to him. Steve followed obediently. 

“So...being gay is something I’m guessing you aren’t too...used to?” 

“Well, it existed, just was universally looked down upon,” Steve answered in a quiet voice. He had very little interaction with the subject, never really having to deal with it. Admittedly, some days the darker part of his brain would sometimes wander to it, as he always had girl trouble, he would sometimes wonder what it would be like on the other side. He wondered if maybe through that route he could actually be successful. The next thing he knew, however, he would be reminded by its consequences as he watched people get beaten for that route. The watching would soon turn into getting knocked around of course as Steve couldn’t stand the sight of someone being hurt, no matter their life choices. Other than that, he never was too invested.

“Right. So remember our talk this afternoon at the store, about how the world war ended and the war in vietnam?”

Steve nodded, watching as the elevator opened, and Tony just turned around casually and walked back to the car. They had discussed a lot that afternoon, Tony answering any and all questions for Steve as vividly as he could. They went through each war and conflict in the United States and they all seemed extremely dumb. Cold wars, wars with Vietnam, Wars with Cuba and so on. 

“Well, here at home, we were going through various changes. And some of them were very social and revolved around justice. Equality too. Shouldn’t forget that.” As Tony spoke, he popped the trunk, and the action reminded Steve of what to do. He followed and reached into the back seat, loading his arms with bags. “So, African Americans have gone through periods of suppression back to back. For all of time they had been fighting this, but it wasn’t until the 60’s that they were able to make a breakthrough against this suppression. This was one of the changes that  this country went through. Of course prejudice still exsists, but this strong sense of disgusting discrimination had finally been dissolved and they were starting to get the equality they deserved as people. I can show you later some of the most memorable events in this movement and people. So, this was called the civil rights movement. And it changed the world. Women also fought against their suppression. They fought to earn equal pay despite gender, against discrimination, equal treatment in the workplace, and basically eliminating anything that restrained them.”

They each carried their share of bags back to the now open elevator, hauling their days find as Steve intently listened. 

“Another movement around the same time also came to light, and this was the LGBTQ movement. The lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transsexuals. They had the same motive of earning the equality and acceptance that they...we I guess deserved. So throughout the 60’s and 70’s the movement progressed. Having this lifestyle soon turned from being seen as a disease to just a...well lifestyle. People came out about their sexuality more and more, and soon important people in power did the same. You remember Queen? The band I showed you today?” 

Finally, as they dropped all the bags in the elevator Tony looked up at Steve. It may have been for only a mere second, but it was enough to calm Steve slightly. He hadn’t lost his only friend yet. As soon as Steve nodded, the gaze dropped and his hand reached out to press Steve’s floor. 92.

“The singer was actually bisexual. So, anyway, there were many cases fighting discrimination and attempting to change the attitude the world had. There were riots, protests, deaths, but finally, in 2015 gay marriage was legalized. And everyone is entitled to their own opinions; everyone is allowed to have their beliefs, but hopefully, throughout time, the hate has decreased. A lot of people have suffered, but it’s definitely better now. Acceptance is almost everywhere. So yeah, it’s better.”

He paused for a moment, seeming to consider this information himself. His voice was quieter and steady now. It seemed as if he was no longer afraid of judgement but confident in what he was saying. 

“And, yes, back in good ole 2008 I came out as bisexual. Which, is the B in LGBTQ. So basically, I’m not 100 percent gay, I’m...50 you could say. To put it in simple terms. I’m not attracted to one gender alone; I am willing to have a connection with anyone, boy or girl. To me, they are all just people, so...yeah.”

There was a thick silence now, as Steve processed what he had just heard. A small ding cut through this silence, and the doors slid open. Each male grabbed their bags and proceeded to enter the room. 

“I never really had much success with the ladies before the serum. I never told anyone this before, not even Bucky, but sometimes I would think about being...homosexual, if I would be happier that way. Then I met Peggy and well, you know. So other than that, I’ve never put much thought into the subject. I remember a few of the fights that I got myself involved in had to do with  homophobia, but other than that, I wasn’t really involved. But, Tony,” Steve paused, gazing down at the smaller man in hopes that he would finally take his eyes off of the ground. “The idea that people who are just trying to live their lives in a way that they are genuinely happy get mistreated and discriminated against makes me so angry. Everyone deserves to be happy. And the idea...the idea that people would hurt you, Tony, for who you are, makes me so angry.” 

Then, at that moment, those wide honey brown eyes shoot up to stare into Steve’s own blue ones, and relief pooled inside Steve’s chest. His eyes were full of panic overshadowed with curiosity and surprise. The sight sent a...feeling? Up Steve’s spine. Whatever it was, he couldn’t explain it. 

“You have done so much for me. Your kind and generous and talkative. Very talkative.” Steve chuckled at the eye roll and snicker Tony released. “You’re also my best friend. And that is all that matters to me.”

The look of pure admiration that Tony wore gave Steve the strong urge to scoop him into a hug. Surprisingly, he wasn’t the one who had to ask for that request because as soon as Steve finished talking, Tony launched forward. He embracing Steve’s neck, burying his head into Steve’s shoulder. A chuckle slipped past the soldier’s lips as he returned the hug, wrapping his arms around Tony’s small waist, bending over, so Tony wouldn’t be hanging midair. Steve could feel the beating of Tony’s heart against his own. It was rapid, but seemed to be slowing down as the hug proceeded. A small sniffle was heard from Tony, causing Steve to grow concerned. Regretfully, he pulled back, bringing his hands up to place them on Tony’s shoulders.

“Tony?”

“It’s nothing,” he said as he rubbed his eyes with his palm. “Your stupid hair just got into my eyes is all.”

Steve snickered, as Tony stepped back, still avoiding eye contact. 

“If my father knew that I was bi, he would have an aneurysm. So, one would think that you, being the man that my father praised and constantly compared me to, would react the same way.”

“That’s why you were so anxious when I asked.” Steve finally came to a full realization. He was so scared of Steve’s judgement to be similar to his father’s, that he feared losing the relationship that the 2 of them had just formed. Steve's character had probably been so over exaggerated to many, mainly Tony, making him feel always overshadowed. That would explain the flashy tower, fancy suits, cars, and red and gold armor. He was trying to make a name for himself apart from his father and Steve, even after his dad was long gone. He wanted to prove himself. To everyone. 

"Well, thank you for explaining that to me." 

Tony looked up after composing himself, giving Steve an empty smirk and a wink. "Of course, beef cake. That's what I'm here for. Now let's get all of this crap put away." 

Together, they lugged the rest of their shopping bags to Steve's bedroom. The rest of the night was rather domestic. Tony had Jarvis play all kinds of music from different decades as they folded and organized Steve's clothes. Steve's favorite was probably the 70's. There was so much background and meaning to each song. Each was unique and taboo in their own way, somehow going against society, trying to make a change. 

The 80's and 90's were fun. Steve wasn't much of a fan of hip hop or rap. The pop genre was good though in his opinion. With each time period came another historical event, and with each event came new, renovated music. Steve treasured this time, just listening to Tony as he explained these events and all the people. At a point, he had almost forgotten about the reality of the situation. It was so strange that Steve could grow so close to someone in such little time to the extent he felt this comfortable with them. A feeling of ease had overcome him as he watched Tony start to fold a shirt but ended up wiping it around as he used his hands to explain earth wind and fire. The funny thing was, Tony wasn't even looking at Steve, he was facing the closet wall, still confident Steve was listening. And he was. 

"Which reminds me, Jarvis, we need some of my girl Whitney. Right now." 

Tony tucked the shirt into its shelf and turned around to Steve as music started to play again. It gave a strong disco vibe, giving Steve the unbearable urge to dance. Tony quickly grabbed the closest object he could and held it to his mouth. His makeshift microphone happened a black hair comb that should have been put in the bathroom. 

"Clock strikes upon the hour, and the sun begins to fade."

Tony began to lip sing to the song as it poured from the speakers, cocking one hip out with his hand placed on it with sass. Suddenly, his face lit up as he grabbed one of the suit jackets they bought, throwing it on and returning to his pose. The dark green coat looked giant on him, making him look like a kid playing dress up causing Steve to laugh. He faced Steve who stood across the room, strutting over to him like a runway model. He looked ridiculous, standing on his top toes as if he was wearing heels.

"And when the night falls, loneliness calls…" 

The beat suddenly picked up as Tony walked closer to Steve. He threw his head back and pretended to sing his heart out, swinging his hips to and fro. His left arm extended out as if it were pointing to a crowd, which happened to be the bathroom. Steve, having grown very amused with this performance, was surprised when Tony grabbed his hand and pulled him to the center of the room. 

"Tony, I don't dance-" he began to protest, but Tony cut him off with an eye roll and a hand wave. 

"Well I wanna dance with somebody and you're the only one I got." 

They were both shouting over the music as the chorus began again and Tony went back to singing into the comb. 

"Just move! Don't think about how, just do it!" 

Trying his hardest to fight the blush that rose to his neck, Steve started to twist his body in an attempt to 'dance'. Tony shook his head and started just jumping up and down while twisting. Steve did the same and found it impossible not to start laughing. The lyrics suddenly seemed to feel like they had been familiar to Steve his whole life the more they danced. Another chorus began and he and Tony couldn't help themselves. In unison, they bellowed Whitney's song together. 

"Oh, I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody! With somebody who loves me!" 

An idea surged to Steve's mind as he turned to the bed to their right. Swiftly, he climbed onto it, bending slightly to reach his hand to Tony. The smaller man looked up at him, smile glowing bright, causing Steve's heart to swell. His calloused hand grabbed onto Steve's rough ones, and he allowed himself to be pulled up. 

They each jumped together like a couple of teenagers on the bed, yelling the last of the lyrics. At their last jump, both men let their legs give out and collapsed onto the covers, heavy breathing. Slowly, Tony turned his head to peer up at Steve, triggering fits of laughter. Tony ended up snorting uncontrollably as Steve wheezed loudly. Clutching their stomachs, they both sat up, one at a time, wiping their eyes and staring at one another. 

Tony's jacket (or Steve's rather) had fallen down on one shoulder, exposing a section of his neck that his t shirt didn't cover. His chest heaved with every breath he took, drawing Steve's eyes up to his lips where they were parted to allow the heavy breathing. The side of his forehead glistened slightly with the perspiration from dancing and singing. This caused some of his dark curls to stick to his face, making Steve feel the strange urge to brush them out of the way. As Steve eyes traveled upwards, he spotted a small sparkle in Tony's chocolate eyes that glowed with utter joy. Delight bloomed in Steve's stomach at this sight. 

" Sir, as it is approaching midnight, may I remind you of the upcoming project due dates for tomorrow."  Jarvis ' voice cut straight through their shared gaze as if it were a knife slicing through butter. Tony blinked, snapping out of it, and shook his head. 

"Oh, yeah, of course." He hopped off the bed with grace, prancing back to the closet to return the jacket, much to Steve's dismay. "I'm sorry to say that I have some projects to work on down in the workshop tomorrow. It'll probably take me all day."

"Oh ok, that's fine. You should probably get some sleep then." Steve tried to hide the disappointment in his voice, not succeeding very well. He attempted to replicate the smile he had just had on, but also failed.

"Ok, so, I'm sure you'll find it severally boring down there, so If you need anything, give me a call. You have free range all over the tower, and you can take any of the cars to go out and explore. Just keep in touch with the cell phone." 

Steve nodded, patting his pocket. 

"Oh, but, just don't take the really classic cars. The newer ones, I don't really care."

"Thank you, Tony. For everything again." 

Tony smiled sadly with a small shrug. "Yeah, sorry again. But being a genius kinda comes with a tight schedule." 

"I understand. Truly." 

They bid each other goodnight, Tony leaving Steve to go upstairs to his own room for the night. That must've been the most fun Steve had had his entire life. Thinking back, his genuine smile finally returned as he laughed to himself. He figured he might go out tomorrow, but he didn't want to do too much without Tony. Something about exploring the city seemed like a thing for both of them to do. It sounded selfish of Steve to want to steal so much of Tony's time, but they bonded so well that day while shopping and walking around the city that he didn't want to abandon that possible tradition. 

Then his phone started buzzing, and a song started to play from it, scaring Steve slightly. He jumped at the sound, pulling the device from his pocket, staring at the big white letters stating who wished to speak with him: Shield.

Chapter Text

Tony

Part of Tony wanted to shoot a concentrated repulsor beam from the Iron Man suit at the ceiling when Jarvis reminded him of his project due dates. The other part of him, however, knew Jarvis was right. He was partially thankful for the interruption because with the way the 2 men were acting, they would have kept fooling around until the crack of dawn. Tony would have never thought that Steve was capable of actually having fun and acting so childish. He was also shocked and entirely relieved to hear Steve’s gentle reassuring and acceptance of his sexuality. The man was actually very accepting, more so than Tony would have thought, which was quite surprising. It pleased Tony and gave him a sense of gratitude at how hard Steve was genuinely trying to move on and be accepting of all the dramatic changes in his life. He couldn’t even begin to imagine hurdling that big of a hardship. His heart ached at the thought of someone going through that. All he, himself, could do is be there and try to understand. Except, that didn’t feel like it was enough to Tony. He offered the man a home, food, clothing, money, and anything he could need, but in the end it was still only material things. None of it could possibly help Steve overcome the dark thoughts he must have been having. 

As he rode up in the elevator, Tony leaned back, biting his lip in contemplation. It didn’t help the matter that Tony had to go to the workshop all day while Steve was all alone. The man’s mind began to turn back to the common thoughts he would get about self brooding and how he could never do enough. He would never be enough, especially not for someone as selfless as Steve. Releasing a low groan, Tony stared into his penthouse from the elevator for a long time, debating if he should actually try to sleep or not. Based on the abrupt flood of deep thinking and wave of anxiety, Tony was given his answer. His hands felt as if they were on fire, inching to move, create, or do something productive to help ease this wave of self pity. He had to prove to himself and the world of his potential once again, as he usually did once or twice a week.

In a rush, the man dropped down into the workshop, taking in the smells of oil, gasoline, metal and cleaning chemicals from the last late night binge. On one half of the room, in a glorious case, covered in lights was Tony’s masterpiece. Mark 4. It seemed to glisten like a diamond in Tony’s eye, as the anxiety seemed to diminish. Now there was an excellent example of his potential. One more deep breath later, Tony’s smile finally returned to him as he spied his latest project on the table. This specific project was brought to him by a very close friend. For this, he was particularly excited, as they weren’t for himself. They were sheek, clean, and deadly. Something he had been working on for weeks now and was just about finished with: Widow Bites. They only needed certain special touches now, until they could be tested by their intended owner. 

“Jarvis, you know my jam,” Tony sang as he jumped into his wheely chair, grabbing a pair of needle nose pliers. Classic rock began to melt away any lingering bits of unease Tony had as he got to work.

--<>--

Steve

"Hello?" Steve fumbled slightly with the device. 

"Evening Captain Roger's. So tell me, how many gray hairs do you have at this point?" 

Laughter bubbled from Steve's throat at Fury's comment. If only he just saw how easily Steve just went along with Tony's antics, and how much he actually enjoyed it.

"None yet, sir. He's been a very cordial host.”

“Ah, I see. Well, glad to hear he’s behaving himself. How have you been doing?”

Steve took a pause, listening to his heart hammer. “Just fine, sir.”

This time, it was Fury’s turn to take a pause. A long breath was heard on the other side. “Again, anything you need, Rogers, anything and you ask. Doctor Emem is asking to meet with you again to check up.”

Of course Fury could see right past him. Steve was always the person to wear his emotions on his sleeve. “Ok, yeah, I’d like that.”

“I can text you her number so that from now on you can contact her directly. Stark can show you how to input the number to your contacts.”

“Ok.”

Fury ended up suggesting the next day, causing Steve to cancel his plans to go out. Although the man was quite excited to fill Daliah in with the past days' most recent events, Fury asked him to ‘talk’ afterwards. He knew this meant that his little vacation did indeed, have an end to it. Going back to work would help him get through this change, Steve knew that, but it also most likely meant less time with Tony. Fury asked if he would be willing to meet another agent of his who would introduce him to a future possible organization they would like him to be a part of. Fury said he was only bringing the idea to the table and wasn’t expecting an answer anytime soon. Steve was truthfully grateful to at least be getting an offer to do something with his time, to go back to using his abilities for good. Who knew the world could still need their Captain America after all this time?

After thanking Fury once again, Steve hung up wearing a giant smile. It looked like the world was finally on Steve’s side.

“Hey Jarvis?”

“Yes, captain?”

“Does Tony have any alarm clocks I could borrow?”

“I do not believe so, but if you would like to be woken up at a certain time, I am capable of setting an alarm myself for you.”

“Oh, you can? Can you set one for 5 a.m.?”

“All set, Captain. Anything else?”

“Uh, yeah, where would be a good place to jog tomorrow morning?”

Following Jarvis’ instructions, Steve was able to map out a perfect route using the map on his cell phone for tomorrow. He would jog around central park about 2 or maybe 3 times if he was feeling up to it. That would definitely help him shake any anxiety he would have off and dissolve any remaining visions from nightmares the night before. He could take in the city while it was waking up, giving him plenty of time to get a nice work out in and have time to spare to clean up before heading to Shield at 8. Deciding against a shower, as he would take one in the morning, Steve got into bed, attempting to gain some shut eye. 

After a restless night of hellish nightmares and tossing and turning, Steve was up and dressed, heading down towards the park which happened to only be a few blocks away. It was truly a beautiful sight, despite the frigid temperatures. The snow was like a soft blanket, covering each tree and field of grass to be seen. There was no green, only the glistening white of the snow and blue of the ice. It was nice to see an area of nature settled in this goliath city of chaos. As Steve stretched, he noticed how the sidewalks were already clear and sanded. 

A large puff of breath escaped his mouth, causing Steve to raise the zipper on his running jacket. Feeling all loose and relaxed, the soldier’s legs pushed off and took him down the first path into the forest of bare trees. The run was quite relaxing, helping to clear out the night’s horrid dreams. After about 2 hours and 3 laps, Steve was feeling refreshed and to be honest, quite out of shape. He was starting to wheeze as he headed back to the tower, growing concerned.

Eventually, Steve caught his breath as he entered the tower with a key card Tony had given him before. He quickly showered and dressed in a pair of jeans and a casual button up. It wasn’t long before the man was ready and standing in the garage, having a mental conflict over which car to drive, or if he should even be driving a car. 

“Captain, if I may, the Shield helicarrier is only 4 blocks from this location. If you are having difficulty deciding which vehicle to embark on, there is also the option to walk.”

Steve gladly took that offer, as the enjoyment from his jog still lingered. And the fear of destroying one of Tony’s ‘babies’ was a prominent factor in Steve's decision, or even destroying someone else’s cars in the insane new york traffic. He arrived at the docks in only about 20 minutes, going through security and riding up to Fury’s office. Agent Hill was able to meet him once again, leading him back to Daliah’s office. Today, the woman was wearing a large green cardigan and a soft beige tank top underneath. Her braids were pulled back in a thick ponytail. 

“Steven! What a pleasure it is!”

Her smile was intoxicating as Steve blushed, following her motion to sit on the couch. The door clicked as it closed, leaving only the 2 of them in the room. 

“How have you been since I last saw you? Feeling any better?”

“I actually think I am. I’m feeling much better.”

“Now that's what I like to hear. So tell me, what have you been doing?”

Steve began to pour out every activity he and Tony had done together and every emotion with it. It was as if a child was excitedly telling their mother how their day had been. He told her about the giant tower he now resided in, the hellish nights, the visit he had with Peggy, and completing his homework he had been given days before. All Daliah did was listen calmly, which pleased Steve. She wore a warm smile as Steve didn’t leave out one detail about Tony’s generosity. The floor for himself, food, flowers for Peggy, clothes and everything they bought at the store, and their dancing session. They both shared a laugh at the image of 2 fully grown men dancing and jumping on a bed to Whitney Houston’s I wanna dance with somebody. She would occasionally scribble notes onto her notepad as Steve spoke for almost 2 hours. He also brought up the intense conversation they had over Tony’s sexuality and Steve’s concerns over the man’s insecurities and the pain he might have gone through. 

“I am very glad to hear how you are opening up to someone new. Especially so quickly. You are beginning to show signs of a healthy recovery.”

“Yeah, it feels good to trust someone so easily. It’s weird though. How suddenly close I felt to him.”

“It may have to do with his connection to your past. Or just your chemistry.”

Steve’s heart seemed to leap at her last comment, making Steve frown slightly. It happened so quickly, striking confusion into his mind. Their chemistry?

“I would also like to discuss something else with you if that’s ok.”

“Wha- oh yeah. Sure.”

“So I know Fury has already brought the idea to the table, but with how you are feeling and by the feedback from this meeting, I am wanting to make sure that you are ok if I submit my approval to Fury. My approval for you to be able to go back to training and such, that is.”

Steve thought deeply about her request, trying to consider them thoroughly without the excitement getting in the way of sense. He knew he wanted to go back onto the field and start being active, but he had to think first if it was actually the right course of action. Daliah seemed to think it was ok, and he was feeling a lot more secure and stable. A strong desire was boiling in his gut to get back out into the world with a team, to protect innocent lives, and to reestablish his character to himself. In a way, part of him felt that maybe he had been slacking. He knew that the plane crash had been classified by everyone as a heroic sacrifice, but he couldn’t help feel as if it were a disgrace. A disgrace that he couldn’t even save himself from that mission, nonetheless Bucky and the hundreds of innocent soldiers. And even after all of this, he did survive, but all he had done was cry and brood about his lost past so far. He felt that it was finally time he pushed on and began to help himself rise from this gloomy ditch his mind was sulking in. 

“I don’t think I’d like to commit to anything permanent yet. Maybe think about it some more. But I definitely want to keep looking into it.”

“Of course. That is all this is so far. A simple idea that was brought to us to help all parties involved. I want to keep tracking your progress and the results from this if you decide to be open to it. No one is pressuring you to agree, if you would like to wait, or even decline, that is fine too.”

“Thank you, although I do think I would like to look more into it.” 

She chuckled as she said her next comment. “I do recall your eagerness that Fury told me about over the phone.”

Steve laughed, embarrassment flushing his face. 

“But let’s see how it goes, and if you are still interested, you have my full support. Now, I also remember Fury wanting you to meet some people.”

--<>--

After Daliah and Steve ended their session, Hill took him to a training floor. As soon as the doors opened, Steve was presented with 2 agents who were brawling rather skillfully. One was a male with short dirty blond hair and a white bandage on his nose. He seemed to be almost as short as Tony, almost, but it was hard to tell as his opponent kept attempting to pin him. She was just around the same height, with piercing green eyes that could be seen from the elevator and vibrant red hair. She was utterly beautiful but radiated an extremely intimidating energy as she lunged for the man, wrapping her thighs around his neck. She used his shock to her advantage throwing off his balance with her weight. He was thrown to the ground with a thud as she landed atop of him, smirking triumphantly. 

"And that's another 10 bucks." 

"Agents Romanoff and Barton," Hill announced, causing the pair's gazes to snap towards them.

"Oh, Hi!" The man perked up as he jumped from underneath Romanoff to scamper over to Steve, sticking a hand out. "I'm sure you have heard of me by now, but I'm Clint Barton." 

He puffed his chest out in pride as Steve shook his hand. 

"Just ignore him." The woman said as she rubbed a towel on her neck. She approached them casually, also offering her hand. "Natasha Romanoff."

"It's nice to meet you both. Steve Rogers. That move you just did was really impressive." 

Natasha laughed as Clint scowled. "Thank you. I'd offer to teach it to you but you might crush the person who you are doing it to." 

This time it was Steve's turn to laugh. They easily got into talking about different training techniques and each of their preferences and styles. Hill disappeared quickly, and they must have been talking for a long time because suddenly someone cleared their throat behind the trio, snapping them from their conversation. 

"Well, it seems you're all getting accustomed well enough." 

Steve turned to see Fury standing with his arms behind his back. 

"Oh, it's just Fury. Anyway, I took the guys arm like this-" 

"Barton, shut the hell up already." 

Natasha smiled, shaking her head as Fury rolled his eyes. Or...eye, actually. 

"Now that was mean." 

"So Captain, are you still up to hearing more about that initiative I brought up earlier?" 

Steve took a moment to look at each of the agents. Clint frowned as he glared at Fury while Natasha just crossed her arms and smirked at Steve. 

"Definitely." 

It was called the Avengers initiative. A protocol to help protect the world from alien threats and anything bigger than themselves. It was to bring together a group of special people with special abilities. Together, they would train and work on specialty missions. It included Steve, Natasha, Clint and even Tony, so far. There was a name being thrown around, Bruce Banner, but he was currently off the map. 

Apparently there had been some kind of alien mishap in New Mexico a while before that shocked Shield into action as they realized they suddenly weren't alone in a possible hostile universe. Excitement began to flood inside Steve at this new opportunity. His mind began to race through all different training sessions and stealth mission training. 

"Stark is just on the fence." 

Natasha's comment was the thing that knocked Steve from his roller coaster of thought. 

"He offered to be a tech and mechanics consultant, but is still unsure if he wants to use iron man as an asset to the team or not." 

"Well, it might have been because Nat here decided to recommend the suit over Stark and now he's pouting." 

Steve frowned, shooting an exaggerated glare at Clint. A wave of protective instincts kicked in inside of Steve as he began to defend his friend. 

"He might just have a lot on his plate at the moment, especially with offering to help me." 

"Would you talk to him, maybe rub off some of that excitement onto him," Fury suggested, now making Steve frustrated. 

"I just don't want to push him into something he doesn't want to do or is unsure of. I mean this is the job of a member of a Special Ops team. It's no easy task for everyone. Risking one’s life for the protection of everyone else’s. It’s a pretty burdening responsibility with high pressure. I’m extremely proud to hear he’s even considering it.”

Each of them remained silent as they processed each other's thoughts. Steve's mind was focused on this new opportunity, but now it suddenly started to drift to Tony. Was he still working? Was he working on his suit? Steve still hadn't seen it. He'd only seen pictures Tony had shown him. The thoughts then turned to contemplation over Tony's decision to join the team or not. Either way, his genius would be a very valuable asset to the team, with or without the suit. 

"I think we should be thankful he has even offered his services. That alone is a great asset." Steve spoke with a less stern tone and instead with a prideful one. 

"I agree," Natasha replied, smirking at the others. Steve could have sworn she winked at his shocked expression. "Stark is a very valuable member, suit or not. So I don't think his decision at the moment is a huge concern. As long as he has even the slightest involvement, we should be happy." 

"We just have to figure out where our hideout should be. Should it be a lair or a cave?" Fury glared daggers at Clint's childish comment, causing the agent to laugh. 

"That is another topic I needed to discuss. You are welcome to use a facility that Shield can set up for you here in the city or any other reasonable location. Although, Stark did make another offer. He talked about housing you all in the tower. Plenty of space and all of you in one spot so we can easily keep track of your whereabouts."  

Clint fist pumped the air as he cheered about living in a billionaires home while Natasha smacked the back of his head. A dark part of Steve's mind was sad at the idea of losing the intimacy he had with just him and Tony in the tower, but overall it excited him. Finally, the tower would be lively and buzzing with the excitement for their new team. 

"So, what do you think Rogers?" 

Fury along with everyone else turned to him for a confirmation. 

"I think it's a brilliant idea, let's create the Avengers." 

Chapter Text

Tony

The Widow bites were absolutely perfect. A beautifully flawless tool for his friend that was an ideal match. All he needed was to observe her training with them and tweek from there. Leaning back from his work, Tony spared a glance out the window. Outside the sun was waving goodbye to the world as it hid behind the buildings once again. Tony’s back popped as he stretched and groaned. He was oblivious to the time, having worked straight through the night and next day. Sometimes, it would be a few days before Tony became conscious of the time and his exhaustion that followed. This time, he could feel the tightness in his lower back and shoulders from hunching the entire time over a magnifying lens at the desk, perfecting his project. The popping and stretching seemed to alleviate some of the pressure but not all. He could really use a massage. 

“Hey J, what time is it?”

“It is currently 5:17, November 30th.”

“Ah, thanks, J.”

Tony stood up slowly, feeling the tension in his legs as well. Boy, did he really need a massage. The smells from the workshop radiated from him, hovering in the elevator all the way up to the penthouse. Having also worked on the suit for a while, Tony was slightly covered in some oil and grease. There was a prominent smell of sweat and metal that diminished any lingering trace of his cologne that had been applied the day before. With a long sigh, Tony trudged as if he were a zombie to the shower, scrubbing his body and hair. Once he was finally clean and in a pair of comfy sweats, his mind began to travel to a certain blond. 

“Jarvis, Where uh...do you happen to know where Steve is?”

“He was heading south along 10th Avenue before the phone battery died. I can no longer track him. This was 20 minutes ago." 

"What?!" Tony screeched. His heart started to burst from his chest in a wild frenzy of panic. A cold sweat broke across his brow as he pictured Steve lost in the city. "Where is he going?!" 

"He was at the Shield Helicarrier for the day, and I believe he is now attempting to return to the tower." 

"Well...he's going in the wrong direction. Jarvis, fire up the suit." 

Tony tore off his bulky sweatshirt and giant sweatpants, running to the outdoor balcony at the penthouse. He knew that the thick clothing would never fit under the suit and he didn't want to waste another minute changing. In only a tank top and briefs, the man ran up the stairs, throwing the glass door open. Cold air hit his entire body with such a strong force, it almost caused Tony to turn back around into the tower's warmth. His determination to find his friend, however, was able to overpower the temperature's harsh blow. The suit sat near the edge of the barren platform, open and ready for its pilot. The inside was lined with blue lights, beckoning Tony forward. His eyes spotted it as if it were gold at the end of the rainbow. Each step he took towards it was accompanied with a low grumble about Steve and his inability to navigate. This soldier was obviously a magnet for trouble. 

The suit encased Tony like a perfect shell, covering him in the protective titanium alloy. The feeling helped dampen the raging anxiety only a little. It still burned like a fire. The arc reactor connected perfectly to the suit, flooding it with power. A shudder ran from Tony's chest to the end of his spine at the feeling of the power being shared between the magnet and suit. As the suit powered up, images flashed in his brain of Steve, stranded on a freezing street, reminded of the frozen prison he was trapped in for 70 years. Personally, Tony knew the triggers of panic attacks and the feeling of enduring them alone. Imagining this feeling for someone else, especially Steve, coated his stomach in dread. He wouldn’t even wish that feeling onto his worst enemy. As soon as the suit was fired up, Tony took off. 

"Jarvis, scan for Steve's vitals, you said you could last track him on 10th? Let's start there." 

The wind whistled through the slits in the suit, countering the heater that was trying to warm Tony up. He began to shiver slightly as he scanned the entire 10th avenue with each alley and passage. The 2 minutes felt like ages before Jarvis signaled him that his friend had been found at the end of 11th. Relief washed into Tony's chest, putting out the anxious fire his mind created. Cutting the repulses slightly, Tony dropped towards the road, watching the buildings grow in size. There was a figure of a man, dressed in a blue coat, arms wrapped around himself, and holding a dead cell phone. His back was to Tony, but as soon as Tony got within earshot, blue eyes snapped back and up to the suit. 

The face plate shot up, revealing Tony's pale face. The cold rushed in, painting his nose and cheeks a blotchy red color. With a loud plunk, the suit landed onto the sidewalk. 

"Tony?” His eyes squinted up at the strange sight in front of him. “Is that you? Where’d you come fro-”

The second sentence didn’t even leave Steve’s mouth before Tony was tired of just standing there. The fear that has been holding him hostage came crashing to the surface, taking hold of his actions entirely. Despite the clunky suit between them, Tony lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Steve’s shoulders. His hold was gentle, but firm. Steve hesitated for a second out of pure shock. It took a minute of registration before he finally returned the embrace, taking hold of Tony in his suit. Funny enough, the brunete still had to stand on his toes slightly to reach the soldier, but he didn’t think of that now. The only thought overwhelming his head was that he had found Steve. He was lost, but he had found him. The man was safe and alive. 

“I lost you.” Tony’s comment came out sounding more concerning then he had initially meant it to sound. It caused Steve to pull back from the hug, thus causing Tony to curse himself. “I mean, you got lost. Or I figured. Scared me for a sec.”

He averted his gaze to stare back down at the cracked concrete, laughing nervously as he rubbed his neck. Although it was just metal rubbing metal. When there was no response, Tony snapped his eyes back up to Steve. There was a smart smirk on his face with a clever glint in his eye. Head cocked to the side, he looked at Tony playfully. 

“Ok, stop it.” Tony snapped, getting pissed off.

The look faded slightly, mixing with one of confusion. “What?”

“That stupid look you’re giving me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Steve chuckled, pulling his jacket closed. “But, yeah, I’m sorry. I went to Shield, and when I left, this stupid phone turned off. I just figured that after walking a little, I could see our tower, but everything just looked that same and-”

“Our tower?”

Something sparked in Tony. No matter how much denial he would give, something did indeed flare up in his chest at the words that left Steve’s mouth. Not Tony’s tower or the tower. But Our tower. It had a nice ring to it. 

“I- I meant, not that-”

Now it was Tony’s turn to smirk playfully and wave off Steve’s rambling. “No, no I get it. But you know what? As soon as we get home, we are going to introduce you to a phone charger, Steve.”

Steve rolled his eyes, biting at the inside of his cheek. 

“But for now, I’m cold.”

Steve laughed. “Same here, the serum is only good for so much.”

“Ever fly first class?”

Steve looked at him quizzically. 

“Well, get ready for the pilot’s seat.”

“Wait, Tony. No. Definitely not.”

The look of fond panic on Steve’s face was not helping with the stupid spark in Tony’s chest at the moment, but he couldn’t stop. It took a few minutes of coaxing, but Steve finally agreed to the inevitable. It was already freezing and dark, so there was no way either of them were going to walk the rest of the way back or take public transportation and risk a gathering of the fangirl cults. The suit stood in front of Steve as he latched onto Tony’s shoulders. The pressure of those strong arms sent another shiver down his spine as the engineer fired up the jets for another take off. 

“Just hold on tight, we should get back within a minute or so.”

They both braced themselves as Iron Man took to the skies. With the night sky above them and the animated city below, the 2 people were in their own world. Detached from society and nature, flying through the air together. There was nothing but themselves in existence. All Tony could feel was the weight of Steve’s body against his and the rush of freedom that flying always gave him. The wake up call that broke his moment of peace was the tower growing larger and larger. The suit calculated the landing trajectory as Tony slowed down, bringing their bodies back to a vertical position. Both pairs of feet landed back onto the world regretfully, Tony’s floor coming up to seperate him further from his companion as it lifted a bar between them to remove the suit. 

Tony saw Steve watching curiously as he followed Tony down the launching pad. The way the pad worked was that Tony would walk down it as several machines dissected the suit in order to bring it back downstairs to the workshop. Eventually, each piece was removed and finally Steve and Tony were back alone. They stood in front of the glass doors only a few feet from each other. Wordlessly, Steve turned his head to gaze out into the sky. Millions of stars glistened back at them, winking playfully. An ocean of lights and sounds emitted from below them and somehow Tony almost regained that feeling from when they were flying again. He almost felt alone with Steve, staring out into the sky. A cold breeze blew their heads back towards each other. Tony hesitantly looked from Steve’s chest back to his eyes. Somehow they had moved closer to one another, only inches away. Steve’s pale face was half shadowed, but lit up in the purple light from below. His thick eyebrows were arched up and eyes staring down into Tony’s. There wasn’t a line out of  place on him. His face seemed absolutely perfect at this moment, with the sharpness of his nose and curve of his cheek bones. Even his hair was slightly ruffled from the flight, while Tony could only imagine his Albert Einstein hairdo. 

His parted lips opened a bit more to allow his teeth to shine through. Tony unknowingly and slowly, but carefully leaned forward. His breath quicked, mind slowing. A cloudiness suddenly blocked every rushing thought that was just analyzing Steve’s adonis face. His right hand lifted itself from his side and rested on Steve’s left bicep. The contact was light and almost unnoticed by Steve. Said man had been raising his own right hand, letting it hover over Tony’s cheek. Tony could feel his breath, the warm puffs of air that blew from his mouth onto Tony’s nose. It quickened as his own did, coming out in short puffs, as a fingertip brushed against a single curl that rested on the nape of his neck. Tony arched his head up further, trying to coax the fingers closer. His body instinctively craved the contact, wanting them so badly to dig into his hair, cradling every curl on his head. But they didn’t.

In an instant, a sudden blast of winter air hit them with a force strong enough to knock them from their trance. Tony’s hand fell from the soldier’s arm as he stepped back, clearing his throat. Steve’s cheeks ignited as he lifted the same hand that had brushed Tony’s curl to rub it against the back of his own neck. They both finally came to the realization that they were both outside in the winter air at night on a building. And as a side note, Tony was also partially naked. That specific thought caused embarrassment to flood Tony’s senses as he realized this. And that Steve was seeing him like this.

“So...cool right?”

Steve made a choking sound like an ostrich before properly humming in confusion.  

“The flight?” Tony clarified as he opened the glass door, holding it for Steve.

“Oh...oh! Right. Yes, it was really cool.” He paused for a moment, stepping inside the penthouse before Tony. The heat hit them both, drawing out a sigh from their throats. “And you get to do that all the time?”

The sudden warmth overwhelmed Tony’s senses as it enveloped his face and fingers first causing his nose to run slightly. “Yup. Pretty great, gotta admit.”

They awkwardly walked down the walkway and into the living area. Tony’s eyes scanned the couch, extremely thankful to spot a stray sweater. He made a beeline for it, snatching it with joy. The fabric fell over his shivering body, relieving Tony greatly. Coincidentally, the tank top Tony had put on was thick enough that the arc reactor was hidden well, but there was still a chance that Steve saw the light or bulge in his chest. Tony knew that by now he shouldn't be ashamed of the magnet, but for some reason he didn't want Steve to know about it quite yet. He didn't want Steve to see his one major flaw, his one weakness. He wanted to savor this time where he could impress Steve as much as he could, and that flight was just the right thing to accomplish this goal.

“Wait,” Steve’s sharp voice snapped Tony to full attention as he turned to see Steve glaring at him. “You went out there with only that on?!”

Oh boy.

“Tony! You can get sick! You must be freezing!” 

"Well...well, you're the one who decided to just start walking on the street, even though they had no idea where they were going! Then you got lost in New York City! Like a freaking home alone movie!" 

"I don't even know what that means!" 

"Of course you don't know what that means! I haven't gotten to that movie with you yet!" 

An itch interrupted Tony's comeback, allowing Steve to insert another lecture. He didn't bother to listen to it as his nose started twitching and the itch grew louder. Suddenly, Steve stopped his arguing as Tony stuck a finger up, closing his eyes and lifting his head slightly. 

"What, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Tony, what?" 

He inhaled sharply, and his face flew into his elbow. A loud sneeze erupted from his throat, taking the itch away completely. The air left Tony's lungs as he sighed and relaxed. 

"Oh," Steve said softly, face dropping to a less angry expression. "Bless you." 

"Thanks." Tony sniffled, wiping his nose. 

A beat of silence.

"See!" The sudden shout startled the genius. "Now you're probably sick!" 

"No! It's just one sneeze! I'm probably just allergic to big blond oafs!" 

"Wow." Steve clapped his hands. "For a genius that was a pretty stupid comeback." 

Tony gapped at the soldier's audacious response. He was smirking at Tony now, a glint in his eye. They both laughed, Tony punching Steve on the arm playfully. 

"Bastard." Tony grumbled, trudging to the kitchen for some coffee. "Alright, how was Shield? Was it so painful that you had to get lost and never be found?" 

His companion laughed at his comment, following him. "Actually no. I met these 2 agents who are on the initiative with me." He paused. "And you." 

Tony froze for a second before grabbing his favorite 'world's best boss' mug. "Yeah. I know. Ol' Nicky offered it to me a while back. Back when I first created the suit." 

"I agreed to become a part of the team. I think it's time I get out of my head and start putting myself to use. Natasha Romanoff and another agent, Clint Barton, agreed to train with me a few days a week so we can prepare for possible missions in the future." 

Tony hummed. He remembered that fateful night. He came home to find Fury standing in the middle of his living room, smirk wide on his face. To be honest, he kind of scared Tony shitless. It wasn't until Tony was on his deathbed, arc reactor poisoning him, and life in shambles, that he was finally offered a position on this team. Actually, it wasn't even him who was offered, it was the suit. That's all the government ever cared about, who had the biggest gun, never the brains. Tony considered it, but it was a big commitment. Being a superhero of types, working with people , working with Fury. Tony could just gag at that thought alone. There was a time he vaguely remembered that he did offer to house the team in the tower. It had been right after he broke up with Pepper, so the loneliness was making him a little delusional. The idea of going back to an empty tower sounded extremely depressing and kind of like a princess movie in the locked away in a lonely tower kind of way. Part of him regretted giving that offer because of the recommendation he got, or rather didn't get, but the other part was looking forward to filling up the cold barren floors. 

"That sounds like a good idea to get you out of the house, so you don't fully turn into a hermit." Tony poured his coffee, almost crying at the sight of the black liquid. Then a realization hit him, creating a sense of humiliation inside him. "Oh, wow I'm rude. Do you want a cup?"

Steve nodded, forgetting the last time he had had the drink. "Please. But anyway, they asked me to come back tomorrow." 

Ugh, again? Tony mentally kicked himself for the instant jealousy he felt over the fact that Steve would be yet again, leaving him. Why was this feeling becoming a constant occurrence with him over Steve? He hadn't thought much over the whole Avengers idea. He did have a ton of free time on his hands ever since Pepper stepped up in the company. The suit was rarely used, only to help him with some engineering projects. The ten rings were gone so there was nothing else to do with it. Also, joining this team would mean more time with Steve. And the credibility as a superhero was pretty attractive. This idea was starting to actually appeal to him quite a lot. 

"How about I call Fury and see if you guys wanna have some training sessions here?" Damn, Tony was impulsive. And obvious. Why didn't he just state how he didn't want Steve to leave tomorrow. 

The man's face lit up like the city under them. His eyes widened and a rather goofy smile covered his face. "Really? That'd be great! I'd love for you to meet everyone."

Tony couldn't resist the smile his heart gave him. "Also would rather not fish you out of the snow banks tomorrow night. Again." 

Steve laughed, leaning against the counter next to Tony. 

"Would it...be weird if I agreed to this boy band offer?" Tony asked, averting his gaze.

His question confused Steve as he took his coffee from Tony, giving him a deeply puzzled look. Tony was going to have to stop these pop culture references soon. Or at least control them.

"The Avengers." 

Realization hit Steve's face as his mouth opened to form an O. "Oh, oh. No, no of course not. That's entirely up to you, but if it's too much or just not for you, no one would blame you though. If you would like to that'd also be fine. I'm sure Iro- I mean you would be an amazing asset." 

Tony turned his head. Great, even Steve thought the suit would be better, and he didn't even know about the reactor yet. How swell. Tony huffed a small chuckle at the irony, looking down into his cup. 

"Tony, I-"

"I'm thinking that I might join. Might do me some good to do others some good." 

Steve was quiet after Tony interrupted them. They both stood in silence for a moment, sipping their hot drinks and watching the night sky out the window across the room. It was quite dark by now. There weren't many stars that night except the large moon which sat crooked. 

"I'd love it if you did." 

Tony's head snapped up to see Steve wearing a small smile as he stared straight ahead. Bewilderment flooded Tony as he felt his face involuntarily grow red. The comment came straight out of nowhere, surprising Tony greatly. He wasn't used to people saying things like that to him. It felt kind of nice actually. 

"You wanna watch a movie? And get food?" 

"Of course." 

Tony smiled once more to himself, feeling purely content. 

Chapter Text

Steve

Steve was actually an idiot. It was his first trip out alone, walking only a few blocks, and he ended up lost in New York, needing Tony to save him. It made him feel pathetic. Tony came swooping down in his glistening red and gold armor, landing in front of Steve with ease like a scene from a hero movie. At least the hug was nice. It was a shocking display of affection from the other man that seemed to be a rare occurrence. Not that he would admit it, but Steve would have rather hugged without a giant hunk of metal between them. Either way, it felt amazing. 

It was rather stupid of Steve to just start walking instead of just turning around and asking one of the Shield agents on the helicarrier. However, when was Steve ever one to take the easy route. The cold was getting to him, so he was thankful for the rescue. That flight was also amazing. It felt so clarifying and free. Just the 2 of them in the sky. Once they landed, Steve watched in fascination as the walkway transformed and started to strip off the armor for Tony. With each piece taken off, a section of olive skin was revealed. First it took off the chest plate then the arms. Tony was only in a tank top so his sturdy shoulders and smooth collar bone could be clearly seen. It was surprising to see rather large biceps be uncovered next. They were lean but strong. They probably were a result from all the heavy lifting he does in his workshop. The robots moved to the legs, revealing Tony clad in only briefs! Steve pulled his eyes away, feeling strangely like he was violating the man with his stare. 

Once Tony was free from his metal shell, they each met each other in front of the glass door. Tony's face was shadowed but also a shade of light purple from the sky and city lights. One could definitely describe him as beautiful. In a friendly manner of course. Not that Steve thought that genuinely. Not with the cheesy sparkle in those almond eyes, or thick brown curls of hair that flew in the wind, or parted rosy lips that seemed to be getting closer and closer. Steve got lost in the moment, losing track of all his thoughts. All he could think of was Tony and how close they were getting, but also how easy it was to just lean in, inch by inch. A hand came up to gently brush his bicep, as Steve himself was raising his own hand over Tony's cheek. A part of him wanted to desperately touch his face, to feel the goatee with his fingers, but the hand only hovered. He was so close to the shorter man, almost so he could feel the puffs of air from his mouth against his cheek. 

Before he could go even closer, a large wind hit both of them. Steve could see the exaggerated goosebumps on Tony's skin already. They finally made it inside, which led to...an argument? Steve didn't really know how to describe it. They started off yelling but then, joking. Tony sneezed adorably and from there the tension started to die off. 

Of course Steve didn't want to push Tony or anyone else to commit to something without a desire for it, but a large part of Steve was longing to have Tony join him with the Avengers. He said he would think about it, but it sounded like the decision was coming close to a yes. When they spoke about it, Steve discovered that Tony did indeed offer the Avengers to stay at the tower, which is something Steve would really advocate for, as this was his new home. Also he could have an excuse to be around Tony more. He had grown rather attached to him over this short time, hadn't he?

They ended up ordering that food Tony wanted last time before he found out Steve cooked and watched movies. Steve took a quick shower, changing into his pajamas before meeting Tony upstairs. The man opted to hang on his bed, claiming the tv to be better, but Steve could tell he was just tired. The man must have worked himself to near death down in that workshop. 

Tony got some weird noodles and ate with chopsticks like a pro while Steve fell in love with sweet and sour chicken. It took only 3 seconds for him to realize that he would prefer to use a fork. They sat on Tony's plush king size bed, eating food, as they watched some movie Steve forgot the name of. They were mostly talking instead of watching as whenever Steve asked a question, it would lead to a whole discussion. It was actually nice because the more Tony talked, the more Steve felt he knew about this society. They talked about technology, school, college, people, food, countries, and anything else that came to mind. With each conversation, each male got more and more comfortable. Soon the food was all gone, containers abandoned on the floor, and Steve and Tony were lazily watching the tv as they laid on their backs, propped up by pillows. 

An explosion occurred on the tv, waking Steve up slightly. He opened his eyes more to see the spy dude riding a motorcycle off of a burning building. The graphics were spectacular. If the movie could have been slightly more absorbing, Steve wouldn't have noticed a sudden pressure on his shoulder. He looked down to see Tony was dead asleep. His cheek was smushed against Steve's shoulder leaving his mouth slightly open. Small puffs of air came out, dusting Steve's skin. He looked so peaceful. His small body felt so warm pressed against Steve that it was lulling him to sleep as well. Carefully, he maneuvered his arm so Tony's head wasn't jostled too much. The soft brown hair was pillowed on Steve's bicep, as the soldier turned on his side to get in a more comfortable position. Just 5 more minutes, until the movie was over and then Steve would leave Tony alone and go to his own bed. His own empty, cold bed where the nightmares were just waiting for him. 

A small groan escaped Tony's lips as he turned his back to Steve, and that was the last thing he heard before his eyes closed for the night. 

They both slept soundly, until at about 3 am, Steve woke up to what sounded like a whimper and several 'no's and 'stop's. He groaned, looking down and seeing Tony thrash in his sleep. His chest heaved as he took in deep gulping breaths that seemed hollow. He couldn't breathe in his sleep. His skin was slightly sweaty and there were, what could be, tear tracks on his cheeks. Wanting to go back to sleep, but also settle the tense feeling in his stomach from the sight of Tony in this much distress, he made a shushing sound while wrapping an arm around Tony's abdomen. Simply holding the man seemed to calm him down, as the whimpering and thrashing stopped. He continued to hush him while speaking soft reassurances that they were still in New York and everything was ok. During the war, the howling commandos used to all have horrid dreams, so casually comforting the man was rather normal for Steve as he barely paid a thought to the fact. All he could think about once Tony was calm was cuddling more into the warm figure in his arms, as sleep clouding his mind once again. 

What woke Steve up from his soundless sleep again was a hand lightly smacking his face. Once it landed, it stayed there before moving so an arm was loosely hanging around his neck. For some reason, Steve was actually calm. The usual panicked feeling he would get in the morning because of horrid dreams was completely gone. In fact, Steve couldn't remember any dreams from the night before. His body realized it was morning based on the sun streaming over through the window, and began to fully wake up. As his nose inhaled, Steve was surprised to find the scent of strawberries in the air. There was something fuzzy under his chin, which he subconsciously cuddled into even more. The pillow he was hugging felt amazingly warm against his skin as he hooked his leg over it. The pillow grunted at this action, but stayed in place nonetheless. 

"J'rvis…" his pillow groaned, causing Steve to become slightly angered as he would rather not leave this blissful sleep. "Wha- t'me 's it?"

"9:12, sir."   

"What...w's Fury's r'sp'nse t' my email?"

"He will be sending the agents down at 11 am for training with the Captain, sir. He also added if you could keep up, you are welcome to join." 

"Oh...bastard...wher's Stebe?"

"I believe he is currently the one you are embracing."  

Steve's eyes snapped open when his pillow began to shout into his ear. The mumbling at the ceiling was fine, but now his cloudy sleep was broken. The arm that was nuzzled comfortably around his neck slipped away quickly as the body next to him squirmed. 

"Steve, Steve, wake up. C'mon man!"

"Tony, shut up." Steve mumbled back, rolling onto his stomach, basically pinning his pillow by the waist. He did move over slightly, pulling his leg back so Tony wasn't as enveloped. 

Tony groaned. "Ew, morning breathe." 

The comment drew an involuntary chuckle from Steve, still feeling partially disappointed that his peaceful sleep was over. 

"You're isn't any better, stinky." 

"Who knew Captain America was such a cuddler. I woke up and was literally your body pillow." 

Steve just groaned, face still smooshed into his real pillow. "Sorry. I think we both passed out last night." 

"I'm surprised that's all we did. I'm usually irresistible," Tony purred, squawking when Steve let go of his waist finally to take his pillow and smack Tony's head. "Hey! Uncalled for!" 

"You know, I don't think I've slept that well since I was defrosted," Steve said softly. Who knew that the presence of one person could have such a large impact on him. No nightmares, terrors, or insomnia. The only interruption had been Tony's own fearful disturbance. It made him wonder what his torment was. There was a large possibility it was Afghanistan, but as persistent as Steve's curiosity was, he knew what would be considered to be nosy or not. And this was probably more on the nosy side.

Tony laughed lightly. "Glad to help." 

"So you told Fury about having us train here?" Steve asked hopefully, but also not seemingly pushy. 

"Yeah, I figured what's the harm? Also got into some discussion about housing details. It sounds like he's really hoping for my commitment to the team, but who wouldn't." 

"Wow, Tony. You're so right." The sarcasm dropped from his lips as he spoke, making Tony's eyes roll. 

"Well get ready, I think I'll probably agree if training goes well today. Wanna see if this team is actually legit." 

"I'm just glad you're open to it," Steve paused, considering his plans for the day. "I think I wanna go on a jog before we start though." 

"Sure, you do that." Tony sat up, stretching his arms. The sweatshirt rode up his body, exposing a small strip of skin. For some reason, Steve eyes traveled there, wondering if it felt as smooth as it looked. "I have another stupid business call at 10, but I'll be down at the gym when you guys start. Natasha is coming right? She'll get you guys all set up." 

Oh, so Natasha has been to the tower already? Steve wondered when. The possibility that the 2 may have had history sparked in Steve's mind as a sour feeling bloomed in his stomach. Wait, was that jealousy? No, of course not. Why would he be jealous? Natasha was a lovely person from when he met her, if she already knew Tony then that just might help their team even more. Their dynamic could go smoother. That's what he had to think about, not their possible background. Why should he be concerned about that? That had nothing to do with anything.

Before Tony went to the bathroom, he handed Steve a charger and his phone which had a full battery. He had charged it up for him overnight. Easily, Tony showed him the GPS app, which had stark tower already saved into it. All he would have to do was open it, select the address and follow the steps to get back. Once Steve was all set up, he changed and headed back to central park, deciding to be more risky and switch up his route, trusting the phone to assist him this time.

The temperature was slightly colder than the day before, so Steve wasn't able to run as much. Despite being a super soldier, he still disliked the cold. He also didn't like the sickening feeling his head was giving him the more he thought about the cold. It was the same feeling he had in the fridged plane in the arctic. After his 2nd lap, he decided to turn back. He entered his floor, deciding to take a quick hot shower to shake away the cold feelings. Steve didn't know why, but after his shower, he pressed the button for Tony's floor. It was a little after 10:45, and he was curious if Tony was done with the call or not. The doors opened to reveal an empty living room and kitchen. There was a disgusting looking green drink on the counter, but other than that, there wasn't a sign of life. A sudden voice broke the silence, echoing from a room down the hall. It must have been Tony's office. Tony's voice contained a serious tone that seemed it could silence any crowd. 

Letting out a deep sigh, Steve turned back to the elevator, about to press the button to the gym when something caught his enhanced hearing. 

"Steve? Oh, yeah, I really want you to meet him...No! I don't talk about him that much!...Pepper, he's as straight as they come. I don't care that he's my type, the poor man is already overwhelmed as it is...yes, I'm drinking the smoothies. I promise, no more palladium poisoning. It's at 0.06 percent at this point. All flushed out...I'll forward the report to you by tomorrow, don't worry…love you too, Pep. Bye." 

Footsteps started to grow louder and louder, approaching Steve. He internally panicked, diving into the elevator. He slammed the button numerous times, practically breaking his finger. Who knows how Tony would react at finding out that Steve spied on an obviously private conversation. Heart racing, he watched as the door finally closed after what seemed like ages. Steve finally exhaled. But had he really avoided Tony? What if he was actually seen? After the elevator descended and Steve failed to calm his panic, it opened to the gym, revealing a large workout center with machines lining 2 walls, a boxing ring in the center and what seemed like a sparring stage at one side. It was huge, taking up the entirety of the other half of the floor. 

Two people were already in the middle of it, each with their fists up, hopping around in a small circle, waiting for someone to strike. It was Natasha and Clint. The latter of the pair seemed to spot him, dropping his stance to give a wave. That, however, was a terrible idea as Natasha took advantage, grabbing his left arm to twist it behind him, slamming him to the ground, pinning him. 

"Shit, Nat!" 

"What? You dropped your stance. So you lose." She smirked playfully, smiling at Steve. "Hey, Steve." 

"Hey guys, how's it going?" Steve masked his panic, appreciating their presence to distract him from the previous incident. 

Natasha narrowed her eyes at Steve who started to rub his neck shyly. She easily saw through his fake emotions, causing Steve's stomach to drop. 

"What happened?" She asked strictly. Her authoritative tone was harsh enough to put anyone into submission. 

"I...don't know what you mean?" Steve tried to play it off, smiling and letting out a weak chuckle.

"Dude, Tony didn't go all diva on you did he?" Clint asked, mouth dropping open. 

Before Steve could ask what the hell that meant, Natasha stepped forward, pulling her red hair back into a ponytail tail. When she looked up, her face was still serious but softer. "What happened?" 

"I-it's nothing. I just, I might have eavesdropped on a conversation Tony was having. It's my fault, though, I could have left, but I stayed and invaded his privacy. And I think I heard some things I shouldn't have." Steve began to think back to Tony talking about Steve himself, saying how he was 'his type'. Something sparked in his chest again, just like the night before on the balcony outside after Tony brought Steve back. 

"Did he see you?" Clint asked anxiously. 

"I'm not sure. He might have." 

"Well, despite being extremely full of himself, Tony is very understanding of people. If he did see you, I'm sure you're fine," Natasha said nonchalantly. She waved her hand, walking over to the corner to grab a bottle of water. 

"What'd he say? Was it bad?" Clint asked, wearing a sly expression.

"I don't think I should say." 

Natasha came back, clapping Steve on the back. "Good, never trust him with anything like that. Also, I'm glad you said that. Because if anyone ever tries to hurt Tony, I will make them suffer." 

When she said the last sentence, each word was punctuated with a threatening tone that only grew darker. Steve visibly swallowed, not that he would ever even think to harm Tony, but her tone alone was enough to make him nervous. 

"What's up, bitches." 

The trio turned to see Tony waltzing into the gym. He was practically strutting in his black joggers and grey sweatshirt. The hoodie was up, over his head, only allowing a pinch of hazel hair to peak out. The sleeves to the hoodie, however, were both gone, revealing those same biceps Steve saw before when he watched Tony remove his suit. The way one of the arms moved to lift the bottle of the green drink from upstairs was mesmerizing. The muscles flexed to bring the bottle to Tony's mouth, as he bit the mouthpiece, smirking as he sipped some. 

"Oh, pretty boy is gonna join in physical activity? This is new." Clint's snarky comment is what snapped Steve back to reality. Tony gave him a questionable look before smirking at Clint.

"Yeah, thought it was finally time I beat some sense into you. Knock you on your ass."

"I'd like to see you try." 

"Shut up, girls, you're both pretty." Natasha rolled her eyes as she cocked her hip. "Steve, you wanna start us off?" 

Steve looked to her, shrugging. "Sure. So today we can just spar and get used to each other's fighting styles." He turned to Tony. "You want to get your suit?" 

Tony pouted his lips, considering the question for a moment before shrugging. "Nah, I'm good."

"So since Nat and I are all warmed up, why don't the 2 princesses give it a go?" 

Tony threw a glare at Clint before linking his hands together, twisting them above his head. His face scrunched as the stiff muscles in his arms loosened slightly and pulled on each other. "Well, at least you got one thing right. I am royalty." 

Clint did a curtsey before Natasha dragged him to the side. Steve looked back to Tony who had his legs spread, leaning to stretch his side, arm raised up. Was this actually happening? 

"Wait, so I'm sparring Tony? With...no suit?" 

"You know what, Cap?" Tony finally turned around, taking a step back to give room between them. "For that, I won't be holding back at all." 

His hands grew clammy as he had a moment of panic. What was he supposed to do? He didn't want to harm Tony, not that he would, but still. This was a regular human against a super soldier. It could be inferred that the genius had to have been trained in self defense at least a little with how valuable his work was to kidnappers. Even so, Steve still felt uneasy taking the smaller man on himself. 

Pushing those thoughts out of his mind, he focused on the stance Tony sported and how to counter it. They each shared a similar position, knees slightly bent, hands held up in loose fists, circling each other slowly. Steve switched his gaze from Tony's feet and movements to his eyes. His look was stern but cocky. Maybe Steve could somehow take advantage of this flaw. He finally found his opening, sending a hit towards Tony's center. The man easily avoided it, using his small figure to his advantage, dodging it to the side. His movements were much faster than Steve anticipated. He took advantage of Steve's bewilderment, grabbing his outstretched wrist and using his other hand to push against Steve's elbow. It left Steve's arm useless, leaving Tony to force his body to the left. From the force on his elbow, Steve was pushed around and disoriented. Tony finally released the hold, leaving Steve to fumble slightly at the inertia. Crouching low, Tony swept his leg under Steve's knees, sending him onto his back. 

A burst of laughter rang out from the sidelines, and that was all it took for Steve to snap back into focus. Before Tony could make another move, Steve leapt up, grabbing Tony’s waist to throw him over his shoulder. A yelp escaped the smaller man from being lifted into the air as he kicked his legs, trying to throw Steve off of his balance. 

Tony yelled something, but Steve was too full of adrenaline to hear what it was. Suddenly, Tony slipped one leg from his grasp, swinging it around so fast, Steve barely processed it. Before Steve even knew it, Tony was out of his grasp and sitting on his shoulders. The super soldier's body froze as he realized what was actually happening. Tony was sitting on his shoulders, with his thighs wrapped around his head. He leaned backwards and before Steve knew it, he was on the floor again, face down while Tony pinned his arms behind his back. 

"Ha ha! Who's the princess now!" 

Steve groaned, feeling the shame of having been overpowered. Clint's hysterical laugh also wasn't helping the redness encasing Steve's face. Not only had Tony pinned Steve to the ground after using his thighs to best him, but he was currently seated on Steve's lower back, cheering for himself. 

"Steve…," Clint wheezed. "He beat you so bad." 

What a wonderful way to prove himself as the team leader on their first day training.

Chapter Text

Tony

Tony loved Pepper. He loved her with all of his heart. She was by far the strongest and most resilient person he knew. They met when Tony was trying to find a PA. When they first met, Tony immediately knew that she would be perfect. Being organized, headstrong, and not willing to hold back the truth, she was the excellent type of person to keep Tony's recklessness in its place. She rose through the ranks quickly, earning herself not only the title of CEO, but also Tony's best friend. They tried dating for a while, but it only seemed to be ruining the friendship they both had. So, after agreeing to never speak again of said relationship, they continued their partnership as companions and business partners. 

So, after Tony called her to discuss the Bruman account and sales, she of course changed the subject to a more personal topic. 

"So, how is it living with a super soldier?" 

Tony laughed sarcastically. "Very funny, Pep. It's just fabulous." 

"Have you guys talked at all?"

"Oh yes, and we went shopping and talked about boys and had pillow fights," Tony said in a high pitched voice. 

The line was silent for a second, and Tony can vividly picture the red heads poker face at that moment. "Really, Tony."

"...Actually, kinda yeah."

Pepper gasped as she laughed hysterically. "No, you didn't!" 

"Yes! We-" Tony gasped in air as he too began to chuckle. "We went shopping, and got him clothes!" 

"Tony, that's adorable!" 

"Shut up! Pep, seriously though, he found a magazine." 

Her tone dropped. "Which one?" 

Tony groaned, sitting down in his swivel chair. He spun to face the window, rubbing his temple. "Celebrating a diverse community." 

"Oh, Tony…" 

"I know! I almost died on the spot. And considered shoving him out of the car and moving to Canada." He could still remember the feeling of the same panic he felt when Steve first brought up the topic. 

"Well, how did he react? Did you tell him?"

"Of course! I had to!  It was right in front of his face. With a quote! We literally had an hour long history lesson on all the equality movements in history or history as I had like 7 panic attacks. I was convinced he would either beat me up or exorcise me before leaving forever. If he was anything like the person my dad constantly pounded into my head and compared me to all my childhood, those 2 things would have happened. Pepper, I swear though, he didn't even give me one disgusted look. The dude was actually pretty ok with it." A fraction of him wanted to share the part about Steve actually considering homosexuality and his background with it, but he also knew that would be too personal to share to anyone. 

Pepper was quiet once again before she spoke softly. "Aw, Tones, that's so sweet." 

"I'm just really appreciative that he is so open to everything. That must be so hard." 

"That makes me very relieved that he is so lovely. He sounds like a true gentleman." 

Tony could hear, loudly and clearly, the sass in her voice. She was the friend who was extremely protective of him but also always cheering him on in relationships. After theirs had ended, Tony never dated since. He was brought to the realization that if he were to ever again have a meaningful connection like he had with Pepper, he should no longer throw himself around as the playboy he used to be. From then on, he practiced a healthier dating life, avoiding one night stands and toxic persons out for wealth or sex alone. Pepper was as proud as ever, encouraging his push for change. She set him up with some people who she thought would bring out the better in him. None of them ever seemed to click, so he kept living, working and building his company.  "I know what you're thinking."

"What? Who?" Ok, now she was being stupid.

"Steve."

"Oh, is that his name? The name of the person you've been gushing about for the past week."

"Oh, yeah, now I really want you to meet him." Once again, sarcasm became his defense weapon of choice. "And no! I don't talk about him that much!" 

"Gosh, I can see it already. What a cute couple. I bet he's definitely your type."

"Pepper, he's as straight as they come. I don't care that he's my type, the poor man is already overwhelmed as it is." 

"Alright, fine. I'll stop. Now, how are you feeling? Are you drinking the smoothies?

"Yes, I'm drinking the smoothies. I promise, no more palladium poisoning. It's at 0.06 percent at this point. All flushed out. And I'll forward the report to you by tomorrow, don't worry." 

"Perfect, Tony. Thank you so much. Love you." 

"Love you too, Pep. Bye."

Tony sighed as he stood up, walking to the hallway. He was looking down at his phone, working on forwarding the report to Pepper, and out of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he saw movement. A shiver of paranoia ran up his spine, even though everything looked normal. The elevator sat still, room empty, and his smoothie sat on the counter patiently. Yuck. 

About a year ago, Tony became very sick. The arc reactor, which was the one thing giving him life, was suddenly poisoning him with Palladium. It led him down another dark road full of recklessness, irrationality, and drinking. He spiraled fast, and if it were not for Nick Fury and Natasha, he would be dead already. Another agent, Phil Coulson, gave him the wake up call he needed to not only discover a new element but to cure himself and bring himself back up to the top. Although he was off the Palladium, it still lingered in his body. Therefore, he prescribed himself special drinks every now and then to help continue flushing out the poison. 

Tony put the phone down, grabbing his green beverage, and going back to his bedroom to change. As he pulled on his sweats, his mind wandered to the previous events of the night before. After rescuing a certain super soldier and having (what do you call it? A moment of staring like an idiot at him?) an embarrassing instant, the 2 of them hung out in Tony's room, eating, talking, and watching movies. He hadn't even realized how exhausted he was until he laid down on the bed. The explosions and car chases could no longer keep his 10 lbs eyelids open, and he soon drifted to sleep. The night remained a mystery to him as he couldn't remember a thing. All he could recall was being extremely warm and comfortable. When the horrid nightmares came back, they were quickly chased away. Something solid wrapped around him, covering him in protection. Tony fell instantly asleep again, completely content. 

When he woke up, Steve was literally on top of him. Although he would usually be jumping out of his skin at that scene, an odd feeling of content filled him as he wished dearly to go back to sleep. Once Steve finally let go of him, they each got up. Surprisingly, the soldier seemed rather casual with the entire ordeal, not flustered in the slightest. 

Once Tony felt he was ready, he grabbed his drink and strutted into the gym. He had known Natasha for a long time, so when she gave him the look, he knew exactly what to do. Steve was unquestionably more skilled than him, but that's where Tony had the advantage. He knew of Steve's skills, but Steve had no idea what Tony was capable of. So when Steve stood unsteadily and unsure, Tony took advantage, easily using some of Natasha's teachings to take the soldier down. 

The entire afternoon consisted of the four friends sparing, showing off skills, teaching each other, and fooling around. Tony ended up fetching the boots from his suit to please Steve who wanted to do some 'drills'. They ended up learning all sorts of moves together as if they were an actual team on the field. The sun soon began to set and the group decided to order pizza. The setting was quite wholesome, each of them seated around the stack of pizza boxes on the floor, laughing at the yelping sound that Clint had made when Steve had fallen on top of him during their sparring session. 

"I'm so sorry, Clint. I just-" Steve said between wheezing laughs. "I wasn't expecting Tony to be right behind me." 

"For a super soldier, I'd expect more grace from you," Cint pouted, cracking a smile when Nat laughed. 

"Open your eyes, Clint. Have you seen the bulky muscles on this man?" Tony leaned forward grabbing another slice, ignoring the way Steve was looking at him. Staring at him with those wide blue eyes and sheepish smile. The way that shirt, which must have been 3 sizes too small, clung to his body seemed like it was painted on, displaying every curve. 

"Oh, yes, he must have all of the girls, right Steve?" Clint opened his mouth in a wide smile as he bumped Steve with his elbow. 

"Give the man a break, he's still groggy from his 70 year nap." Tony snapped in a sharper tone than he wanted. For an unknown reason, a spike of negative feelings ran through his chest at the idea of how easily Steve could get any girlfriend. But why was he feeling that? Steve should have the chance to be happy with whomever he wants. Despite Tony's betraying emotions. 

"I also don't think I'm ready for that, my style might be a little rusty. 70 years rusty." 

"Aw, come on, Steve, I bet you're a real charmer," Clint insisted. 

Then, the panic set in. Tony could see the way Natasha was looking at him. The devilish smirk playing on her red lips, the spark in her eyes as she saw straight through Tony. From that alone, he knew what she was going to do next. 

"Then he needs some practice. What do you think Clint?" 

"I definitely agree." 

Steve looked over at Tony questionably, as if he knew how to decode their secret language. Tony only shrugged, trying to make an oblivious expression and hide the panic of what was to come. 

"What's going on?" Steve asked, biting into his pizza. 

"Steve, we have to get you back on your game." When the soldier only looked more confused, Clint continued to clarify: "Your dating game." 

"Oh, ok. Now?" The 2 agents nodded at Steve's question. "How?" 

"How about with Tony?" 

Smooth. Real smooth, Natasha. Tony's hand came up just as if it were a natural reflex. It smacked his forehead as Clint cackled stupidly. Red encased Steve's face as his eyes grew even wider. "Wha-what do you mean?" 

"Scenario," Clint exclaimed as he raised his arms in the air. "Tony's at the bar. Steve, you see him from across the room, er-I mean her from across the room, and are immediately enraptured by her beauty." The archer pretended to flip fake hair across his shoulder as if he were a woman. "Then you approach her and get her number. Go."

Tony shook his head. "No, no, nope. Not happening." 

"What's wrong Tony, too shy?" 

"What are you, 8 years old?" 

"Well," Steve spoke up, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "I'd like to try. I haven't had a lot of practice at all." 

Clint exploded in laughter as Tony sputtered in disbelief. 

"Ok, all you have to do is get his number. Easy. Tony, get into character, let's go." 

Tony turned to Natasha who was looking at him with a smug expression. After muttering a salty 'fine', Tony fixed his sweatshirt and ran his hands through his hair. 

"Action!" Clint yelled as Steve shuffled on his knees over to where Tony was sitting cross legged, sipping from a plastic cup of water. 

Then, something extremely strange happened. Something came out of Steve that no one was expecting to hear. In a thick, rich Brooklyn accent, he purred, "Hey there, darlin." 

A deep cough came out from Tony's throat at the sudden greeting. Clint was screeching from the side. 

"What?" Steve exclaimed, chuckling. "You've got a problem with my approach?"

"No, nope…" Natasha laughed. "It's good, keep going."

Steve cleared his throat as Tony tried to collect himself. "It seems that your eyes have told me everything, except your name. Mind indulging me?"

"Wow, you are very bold. Tony Stark." Tony stuck out his hand, letting Steve take it. However, instead of an expected handshake, Tony was caught off guard as Steve turned his hand, pulling it up to his face. He maintained constant eye contact, those glistening blue eyes staring deep into Tony’s own. Ever so slowly, Steve raised Tony’s hand to his lips to lay a gentle kiss onto the back of it. At this moment, Tony couldn’t take it anymore. He looked over to Clint and Natasha who were on the verge of tears from their hysterical laughing. His face must have been on fire accompanied by the traumatized frown that took up a good portion of it. He never thought that Steve would prove to be too much for him in a flirting sense as he used his free hand to place his water down and cover his face. Who would have known that sweet, innocent, naive Steve could have a...dare he say dark side? 

“My name is Steve Rogers. Now, you seem to be in need of another drink. Mind if I buy you one, pretty thing?” The way he pronounced ‘pretty thing’ went straight to Tony’s stomach, forcing another cough from his throat. 

“Oh my gosh,” he couldn’t help but mutter. Steve was still grasping onto his hand in a hold that was possessive but gentle. Discreetly, Tony pulled the hood of his sleeveless hoodie over his head, attempting to hide his embarrassment. “I- uh, I’m good, big guy. How about you go back to your friends?”

Desperately, Tony attempted to regain his macho, snarky attitude. He was not about to let some muscular blond take that from him and turn him into a blushing mess. He was Tony Stark, previous playboy who would constantly flirt at anything with legs. Or at least he used to. Boy, how was he rustier than Steve ?

“I’d rather be here with you to be honest. I’m looking for new company, actually.”

How? Just how could one man go so quickly from dangerously devilish to sweet and soft. “Well, you won’t find it here.”

Like a natural, Tony picked up his water, taking a sip as he glanced at Steve out of the corner of his eye. The soldier’s face faltered slightly as Tony regained his sass and began to fire back. Boldly, Tony lowered his cup, peaking a tongue out to lick his top lip, leaving Steve entirely entranced. 

“Wow,” came a distant mumble from Clint. “He’s good.”

“I-uh.” Now Steve was slipping. Getting a spike of confidence, Tony smirked as he appeared to be winning. This only lasted for a moment, however, as Steve pushed on. “I beg to differ.”

“Do you now?”

"Yup, I believe you are excellent company. I could just sit here all day." Steve pulled one of his knees up so he could place an elbow on it, resting his chin in his palm. The cocky glint came back into those blue eyes as they traveled over Tony's form. They weren't penetrating or creepy, but flattering in a strange way, making Tony feel admired behind the gaze. It seemed to sweetly adore him in a way. This of course was all because he was going along with the scenario and pretending. This was just practice. 

"Fine." Tony gave up. With that look, he could no longer keep up his sassy negative attitude. That puppy dog gaze could melt any pessimist. Looking down, he could see their still entwined hands. Steve's was dramatically larger than his, encasing Tony's in a tight hold. It didn't only hold his hand though, it seemed to cradle it as if it were something precious. "You can stay. Can I have my hand back though?" 

Steve hummed, tapping his chin in thought. "I guess. Only if I have something in exchange." 

Tony sputtered. Hadn't he entertained these people enough? "What, you want my number or something?" 

"That should do perfectly." 

After a beat of silence, the sound of slow clapping emitted from the gallery. Tony snapped his gaze to see Clint slapping his hands together as Natasha smirked at him. Her green eyes carried a sassy attitude that were telling Tony that she would be having a girl talk with him later. 

"You, my friend, are a nasty little sneak, you know that?" Tony spat, adjusting his position to be more comfortable as he snatched his hand back. "Rusty my ass. And the two of you!"

He pointed an accusing finger at the two agents that were still giggling stupidly. 

"Literally kindergarteners." 

"Aw, come on, Tones. You did a great service for us today. Now we know what we're working with." Despite Clint's reassurances, Tony still stuck with his sour expression and pout. 

"I thought it was quite adorable." Nat said happily as she bit into her pizza. 

"You know what?" Tony mumbled as he pulled out his cell phone, tapping the contact of Fury. 

The three stooges in front of him questioned his actions before Tony shushed them. He pressed the coolness of the screen against his cheek, listening to the ringing, waiting for the other end to pick up. The screen felt heavenly against his burning cheek that still remained red from the embarrassment of hand holding and flirting. Who knew Steve could actually be that...dominant? 

After what seemed like hours of beady eyes peering at him and empty ringing, a voice answered. 

"Stark." 

"Fury, how are we doing?" 

Silence. "I knew I shouldn't have given them clearance to go over there. What did you do to my agents now?" 

Tony faked an exaggerated gasp. "I can't believe you would presume that I'm calling for that reason alone. I’m actually calling to make a requisition." 

"Go on." 

"After today, I think your little team is in need of a supervisor. Namely me." 

Tony watched as Clint and Natasha high fived, and Steve grew a brilliant smile on his face. At the sight of the latter person, Tony’s stomach did a flip as his arrogant facade faltered. That smile seemed to stop the entire world, freezing everything around it. Tony swallowed loudly around his flipping stomach, trying desperately to snap back to reality. He felt like a teenager who would trip over themselves every time the handsome jock paid him a second of his time.  

“Alright then, Stark.” Tony could hear the smirk in Fury’s voice as it pulled him from Steve’s intoxicating grin. “Welcome to the Avengers.”

Chapter Text

Steve

Having grown up with Bucky, aka the flirting master, Steve had instinctively picked up on all of his friends' flirting methods. More often than not, Steve would attempt to pick up a macho attitude, playing the confidence card while being careful not to let it cross into arrogance. The key was also to uphold a gentleman like frame of mind while also obtaining a bold attitude. Of course, whenever Steve would try this back before the serum, it would only lead to laughs or rolling eyes. So when Natasha and Clint suggested Steve practice his “dating game”, the man jumped at the chance, although he never thought that the test subject would be Tony. A wave of mixed emotions ran into his head at all the possible outcomes that could come from this scenario. His shyness was about to take over again until a reluctant Tony finally agreed to go along with Clint’s and Natasha’s antics. The entire time, Steve felt like his heart was that of a hummingbird’s, since it was beating so fast. Thankfully, he collected himself enough to access his inner Bucky, receiving the most surprising reaction from Tony. His entire cocky facade seemed to fade, being replaced with one of shock and timidness. Clint and Natasha seemed to be just as surprised, giving Steve an upper hand. He could feel his self esteem skyrocket as a blush painted over Tony’s nose. The first word that had popped into his head at the sight was adorable. The way he would try to cover his face, the way his eyes would widen, or the way his words would turn into a mumble and seemed to tumble from his mouth: adorable. Sadly, Steve’s attempts seemed to only be temporary as Tony regained his boldness and started to fire back. It wasn’t until Steve took Tony’s small hand in his and placed a kiss onto the smooth back that he finally earned the win. After that, Tony was out for the count, turned into a blushing mess as he gave up and avoided all eye contact. 

Has no one ever tried to court or flatter Tony like that before? Was that why he reacted in such a shocked and flustered manner? These thoughts raced through Steve’s mind as their little dating training came to an end, and Steve was forced to give Tony back his hand. These questions created a strange urge inside the super soldier, it seemed as though he wanted to keep doing what he was doing, to make Tony feel that he deserves to be flattered. However, that would be extremely unprofessional and over the boundaries. Didn’t Steve like girls? And what about Peggy? He had to figure these thoughts out soon before they got out of hand.

One positive that came from all of this, was that Tony was now going to be an Avenger. That meant more training sessions, meetings and bonding between the four of them. But Steve wasn’t going to lie to himself, he was mainly looking forward to the training sessions, meetings and bonding with Tony and himself. Once Fury hung up on Tony, Clint practically pounced on him. It filled Steve with so much joy to see much a tight nite group of friends come together so easily. They each agreed to continue to schedule training times together while Shield was processing the paperwork for Tony to be an official member and for the move to Stark Tower.

“What do you think? How about Avengers Tower?”

Steve listened fondly as Tony talked about changing the tower to represent all of them. They had just walked Natasha and Clint outside to the car that picked them up. Maria Hill sat in the driver’s seat and opened the window to hand them some files. She said they were the files of the general information of each team member. Everyone could review them to get to know each person’s abilities in and out. It would definitely benefit the team’s collaboration in the field later on, so Steve agreed to take them, thanking Hill. After that was all settled and they bid their goodbyes, Steve and Tony both journeyed upstairs to shower and wash off the day’s grim. Sweat and the scent of pizza emanated from both of them, leaving them desperate for a bar of soap and water.

“I think that would be very nice of you. Although, you have already done so much for the team and you just barely joined it. I don’t want you to feel obligated to change everything about your own life to benefit ours,” Steve replied, attempting to bring up an understanding argument. He really appreciated Tony’s efforts to help, but sometimes it concerned him on how much the man tried to appease others, forgetting about himself.

“I don’t mind. As I said, I barely use this tower for anything else. Also it would be awesome marketing and maybe make the sign look a little less arrogant than it currently is. You know, without my name on it.” Tony rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, resulting in Steve giving him a warm pat on the shoulder.

“You’re a good man, Tony. Thank you.”

Again, he cleared his throat, utilizing another method to avoid the flattery and praise. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Can I see those files for a minute?”

Without hesitation, Steve handed them over with a nod. He watched as Tony flipped through, tilting them in a way so Steve couldn’t see what he was looking at. All he could see was the way Tony’s honey eyes flew back and forth across the page as he took in the information. If he listened closely enough, Steve could hear the spinning of the coggs in Tony’s brilliant mind. He watched curiously as his eyebrows tilted in slight concern and he subconsciously bit his lip. Steve wondered if that had been Tony’s own file he was reading or Steve’s. They stood in the elevator, basking in the purple and orange glow that was blaketing the city as the sun set through the glass pane. The entire back side of the elevator was made up of a glass pane that allowed this beautiful scene to be viewed. Turning his eyes back, Steve noticed Tony was still staring at the file, but his eyes seemed distant. He wasn’t reading anymore, but maybe staring at a word or sentence on the file. Steve’s curiosity was burning him inside out at this point. He desperately wanted to ask Tony what was bothering him, but he was able to refrain. Instead, he distracted himself with the portrait the setting sun was painting across Tony’s cheek. Highlighting the curves and edges just as the moon had done the previous night. At that moment, the same feeling returned as well. Steve began to feel the itch to raise his hand again and brush those pesky brown curls from Tony’s forehead, or cradle his cheek, or something . 

Just as the feeling was becoming slightly unbearable to ignore, the elevator pinged, and the doors opened at Tony’s floor. Steve praised the interruption, as it stopped him from doing something he might have regretted. Tony’s head snapped up at the noise, and he looked to Steve. As any gentleman would, Steve smiled and stuck his arm out, motioning for Tony to proceed first. 

He mumbled a thanks, walking into the living room. Steve considered just saying goodnight and descending back down to his floor, but something about the sudden change of atmosphere made concern pull Steve from the elevator and towards Tony. 

"...Hey, Steve?" Tony finally looked up from the file, staring at Steve with an expression that the soldier didn't like. It was similar to the one he wore when he told Steve about his sexuality. This one, thankfully, wasn't as worrisome as the other, but it still seemed distressed. "I, um…" 

Tony paused, looking down again. He was ashamed of something, but why? Why would he think, after all they had been through, that Steve would judge him so harshly that he felt shame to share something with him? This time, Steve couldn't resist his urge. He reached forward slowly, and laid a hand on Tony's shoulder. It felt warm under his palm, warm and smooth. "Tony, not to sound cheesy, but you know you can tell me anything. I don't want you to feel judged." 

Honey eyes looked up slightly, before they fell over to the couch a few feet away. Steve's hand slipped from the shoulder as the body it was on moved. Casually, Tony perched on the couch, sitting with one leg tucked underneath him and the other dangling off the edge. Without lifting his eyes, he patted the couch cushion in front of him. Steve took the signal, walking over to where Tony indicated. Once they were settled, Tony tapped the files in his lap. 

"I've met Natasha before and have heard everything from her about Clint. My dad has already told me everything there is to know about you, so you can take these files for yourself if you want. But," Tony paused, sucking in a heavy, nervous breath. "...I wanted to talk to you about one thing before you take a look." 

Steve waited patiently for Tony to finish before he spoke up softly with an, "of course."

"There's one major...flaw I have that is mentioned in here but I haven't told you about. That I've hidden. It's a complicated subject and kind of...personal so I don't talk to anyone really about it. Only 3 of my closest friends and Fury know." 

A deep pit formed in Steve's stomach as he digested these words and what could possibly come. What had Tony not told him that seemed so crucial? And was he really going to confide in Steve of all people? He really seemed to trust him, hadn't he? A worried feeling filled Steve's chest as he slowly leaned forward, wanting to rest a hand on Tony, show him that it was ok and that Steve was there, but he didn't want to overstep. On the other hand, Steve's protective mother-hen instincts were screaming at him. 

Slowly, Tony grabbed the edges of his sweater with trembling hands. Inch by inch, european, sun kissed skin was revealed to Steve. His flat stomach was revealed, holding a set of fine abs as Steve's anticipation grew. He watched intently, and for some reason, all he could think about was how this moment reminded him of unwrapping a present. 

As the shirt crept up further, a bright blue glow peaked out. Steve held back a gasp of surprise as his eyes widened, taking in the strange light. As he pulled the shirt up and over his head, Steve stared curiously at the alien object embedded into the brunette's chest. It was a silver circle with a metal triangle like design in the center. The entire thing emitted a cool blue light that seemed to light up the entire room, but even more beautifully, it lit up Tony himself. His chest and face was colored in a white blue tint, and Steve couldn't help but stare and gape. He stared at each and every line and edge on Tony's body and the way the colors blended and shined. Only one thought invaded his mind; it was the only thing he could think of during the deafening silence. 

"...I wanna draw you." 

Well, maybe Steve shouldn't have said it out loud. Especially with the confused and shocked look on Tony's face. Steve's bubbling regret was soon stopped by the growing smile on Tony's face, the growing smile that was indeed a real, genuine one. 

"Like one of your french girls?" When Steve shot a confused expression at Tony's comment, the engineer shook his head with a chuckle. "Of all the reactions I've gotten, that by far was the most surprising." 

Steve returned the laugh, eyes not leaving the circle. "It's...beautiful. What is it?" 

"I wouldn't say beautiful...but it's an arc reactor. In the file, you'll see what happened. But I was kidnapped and shrapnel got stuck in my chest. This," he tapped the center. "Stops it from entering my heart and killing me. It's like bitter sweet." 

Steve nodded in understanding. So that's why he was so self conscious. It probably was the one thing that left him vulnerable, vulnerable to terrorists or anyone who wanted to take advantage of him. It's like having a target painted right on your chest. Literally. 

“I just don’t know what I’m so afraid of. I’m so afraid of this and people’s reactions. Especially yours.”

With an aching heart, Steve knew that now it wasn’t overstepping as he reached his hand to place it over Tony’s where it sat on his knee. The smaller male looked up, shock written all over his face, mostly in his eyes. In his eyes sat a flurry of emotions. They were scared, but not in a bad way. They seemed overwhelmed and scared at the comfort and acceptance. It ignited every one of Steve’s protective instincts as he saw a glassy appearance show its way through in those almond eyes. He knew it wasn’t his place, it wasn’t Steve’s position, but he desperately wanted to pull this man into his arms and shower him with all the comfort that he deserved for his entire life. 

“I’m going to tell you what I think right now, Tony. And I am not exaggerating anything or downplaying. This is what my impression has been so far. Upon meeting you, you are arrogant, cocky, and spoiled. You unhealthily bottle up your emotions and seem to never release them so it hurts you internally. You seem to avoid those emotional problems all together.” 

Steve watched Tony’s expression fall as he dropped his gaze. The man knew this about himself; he had heard it before. He seemed to have been accepting it. 

“And you know what else? You are the most generous person I have ever met in my entire life. You channel all of your hurt out to help other people, and that’s how you handle it. You put your heart out in the open, despite everything others have done for you, good or bad. I admire you so much, for your immaculate strength and genuinity. You have so much, and give all of it up for everyone else, leaving yourself barely afloat. You are smart, brilliant in fact, funny, charming, audacious, kind, warm and loving. You don’t just love with your heart, Tony. You love with all of yourself. I could never live up to where you are right now. And this,” Steve pointed to the arc reactor. “Shows all of that in you and more. Like your perseverance, enginuity, determination, and uniqueness.”

The tears finally began to fall down, pelting Steve’s hand tickling it lightly. Tony kept his head down as the sobs ripped through his bitten lips. Slowly, Steve turned Tony’s hand over so the palm was facing up. He looked down at their hands, watching them slowly lock together, Steve’s squeezing Tony’s comfortingly. 

“And I'm not sure what you have been trying to prove to Howard, or whoever you are doing all of this for. But I am so proud of you. And...I wanna help you see everything that I see, because you deserve that and so much more. I know what it feels like to try and fill something inside you that feels empty and never satisfied. And I know what it’s like to try and make a name for yourself because you feel so alone and unseen. But Tony...I see you.”

Gradually, Tony’s head slid forward to rest on Steve’s chest. Their hands stayed locked together with tears pattering a trail along them. As Tony slowly let his guard fall down, Steve could feel the tension bleeding away from his shoulders. Sliding one hand up his back, Steve let it rest at the base of Tony’s neck, rubbing small circles, and they stayed like that, just holding onto each other. Steve closed his eyes and felt his enhanced hearing pick up on a sound. It was a low humming that emitted from Tony’s chest, the arc reactor. It was oddly comforting to Steve, listening to the sound of Tony living. Subconsciously, Steve tightened his hold on his friend, lowering his chin into the fluffy brown curls below. They smelled like sweat and sweet strawberries. It must have been at least 20 minutes before Tony’s sobs subsided, and he started to pull away despite Steve’s reluctance. Thankfully, Tony still gripped onto Steve’s hand as he used the other to messily wipe away his drying tears with a wet chuckle.

“It looks like we’re even now, but we have to stop crying on each other like this. People will start to say things.”

Steve smiled sadly, raising his hand to ruffle Tony’s hair playfully without much thought. Before Steve could regret it, Tony huffed out another chuckle, swatting the hand away and using his own to ruffle Steve’s own blond locks. Reaching behind him, Steve picked up a pillow and rammed it straight at Tony’s smirking face. He let out a grunt and practically flew off of the couch, making Steve regret forgetting about his superhuman strength. At least with the strength, came superhuman reaction times. Swiftly, Steve leaned forward to catch Tony around his waist, holding the both of them up inches from the ground. And again, the strange feeling flew into Steve’s stomach as he stared at Tony’s surprised expression. The way his mouth was open invitingly and pupils dilated devilishly. Steve’s hand itched weirdly at the way Tony’s bare skin felt. It was just as smooth as it looked, and Steve could feel the twitching of the muscles underneath, the way they arched in Steve’s hold. It seemed that Steve was too focused on that feeling to realize that Tony was indeed slipping. Just as he started to fall faster, he let out a yelp, leaping forward to latch onto Steve’s neck. He pulled himself far up as he tucked his face into Steve’s neck in surprise. 

“Oh...I-I’m so sorry.” 

All of the awkwardness drained from the scene, though, as right in Steve’s ear Tony laughed his incredible cackle that could put a smile on scrooge. The corners of Steve’s mouth tilted upwards, revealing a smile and his own laugh. 

“Remind me to never have pillow fights with a super soldier.” 

“Noted,” Steve smiled, internally saddening as Tony pulled away from his arms, and his skin slid away from his hands. 

They sat for a minute, Steve staring at the wall behind Tony’s head, and Tony staring at the files. 

“Well, thanks for listening to my sob story this time,” Tony said with a stretch. “But I think it’s by time I showered.”

Steve agreed that he also required one. With only a slightly awkward goodnight, Steve went down to his floor with the files as Tony went into his bedroom. As soon as the doors closed, Steve released a deep breath that he didn’t realize he was holding in. With an angry growl, Steve clutched the sides of his head in frustration. 

“What the hell is going on with me? H-...He’s a man . Why...Why do I feel-” Steve didn’t get to finish his sentence as he grunted, unable to get the words out. “I have to stop this. This is ridiculous. Insane. Pull it together, soldier.”

Chapter Text

Steve

The new 2 weeks had been rather routine but in a good way. Natasha and Clint were fully moved into the tower by the 5th day and living comfortably. They had all grown closer if that was even possible, training daily, eating dinner together, and talking with one another non stop. It was the definition of domestic bliss, and Steve was falling more and more in love with it. One day, Tony had gifted Natasha with two small devices that attached to her wrists. They were called Widow Bites, and were something to not be trifled with. Training that day was extremely exciting, resulting in Clint getting shocked and knocked onto his ass several times, and Tony laughing hysterically at it. It greatly displeased him, though, when the clock would grow late and everyone would bid each other goodnight, leaving Steve alone. His nightmares had been growing worse and worse, and he had no clue as to why. So the time with the team was a great treasure to Steve.

After the night when Tony had shown Steve the arc reactor, a great conflict began to reside inside Steve’s head. He talked to Dr. Emem about it, but all she said was to let it play out, giving him advice about how to listen to himself and his needs. She spoke about the world’s very accepting views now and how it would be ok for Steve to think these thoughts. It wasn’t only that though, it was the thought of having these feelings about someone who was his teammate, roommate and friend’s son for pete’s sake. Daliah seemed to truly understand all of this, but still told him the same things. She told him that he shouldn’t fear his emotions and if he felt comfortable enough, to share them and maybe act. It was just so hard to figure out if Tony felt the same way as he was a master at bottling up and masking his emotions. 

As for the nightmares, Steve had tried medication, meditation, music, and even a spa treatment, but nothing seemed to do the trick. Every night the images grew more and more detailed and the screams sounded more and more realistic and gruesome. Each night was full of sleepless nights and sweaty sheets. Thankfully, Jarvis was there to turn on the lights and tell him the time and where he was. That seemed to help, but not enough. 

It wasn’t until one specific night that really scared Steve. It scared him so much that he felt like he couldn’t breathe, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaping out of bed and scrambling to the elevator. Immediately, Steve knew where he needed to go. 

--<>--

Tony

Tony promised himself he wouldn’t do this. He distinctly remembered the moment that he gave himself an hour long pep talk about how he would not fall for a certain blond bodybuilder. He prepared himself for the perfect hair, teeth, eyes, body and more importantly, perfect personality. However, he didn’t prepare himself for the stupid innocent but flirtacious side of his personality. Steve, of course, didn’t only have the most gorgeous body, but he also was the sweetest, most understanding, dorky, and kindest person he had ever met. It was infuriating how Steve was making this so difficult. Especially when he knew Tony’s sexuality, and he still flaunted those eyelashes and giant biceps. Training was a whole different story. Natasha was out to get him, constantly forcing them to spare, and now that Steve knew all of Tony’s moves, he would always end up underneath Steve’s body somehow. Which would then lead to embarrassing bathroom breaks, blushing, and stuttering. 

Despite that, Tony finally felt his tough shell cracking. Usually, he would only allow a small number of people this close to him, but the daily training, hangouts, and dinners were wearing hard onto Tony’s tough exterior. They had even bought a wii together which led to constant mario kart competitions. It was, indeed, the definition of domestic. The one thing that seemed off was Steve, however. Tony usually was oblivious to other’s feelings, but with Steve, he could tell immediately that something was up. He seemed to be growing more and more tired and worn down. It reminded Tony of the first month when he came back from Afghanistan. The one thing he knew, though, was to let Steve figure it out. All PTSD was different and you should never push unnecessarily. He would eventually find out what was going to help him; he just needed to have patience. Tony knew that the latter sentence mostly applied to himself, as he desperately desired to ask Steve upfront and offer anything he could just like the night Tony had shown the arc reactor. 

Of course he hadn’t meant to become that emotional, but he couldn’t help it. He meant to show Steve, get a disgusted reaction, and go on with his life. Instead, he got wonder eyes and a speech about what Steve thought of Tony, making his head spin with emotions. After an embarrassing moment of hugging and falling off of the couch, they bid adieu and never spoke of it again. 

So, about 2 weeks later, Tony was getting dressed in a pair of briefs, having always slept hot, and climbed into bed. He was exhausted beyond belief after a full day of engineering in the workshop, and was looking forward to his soft, silk sheets. It wasn’t until he was nestled underneath the covers, that a knock appeared on the door. Groaning, Tony flopped onto his back, staring at the ceiling with hate. 

“Yeah?”

He peered over with an angry look that instantly melted upon the sight in front of him. It was Steve, standing unsteadily in the doorway. His eyes were bright red and puffy as tears seemed to stream down from them. They were staring into the distance as his body was trembling madly, and Tony knew. He knew exactly what was happening. Very cautiously, Tony signaled for Jarvis to turn on the lights. He made sure to keep his hands visible and movements slow as he moved to kneel on the bed. 

“Hey, Steve. It’s me, Tony. You’re in my room in New York. 2012.”

A strange look hit Steve’s face like a bag of bricks, but Tony couldn’t even find the words to describe it if he could. 

“Tony, Tony oh my gosh. You’re ok.”

He took a few steps forward, but seemed unsure if he should. Maybe he thought Tony was a hallucination or dream. 

“I am, right as rain. See, touch,” Tony said calmly as he held his arm out. Steve came closer, brushing his clammy, shaking hand onto the warm skin of Tony’s forearm. He released a deep breath that he was holding as the tension seemed to leave his body a little. Tony scooted over slightly, patting the space next to him. “Wanna take a seat?”

Steve did immediately, but sat very stiffly. He kept on staring at Tony’s hand like it was the most amazing thing since sliced bread. 

“You can talk to me about it, you know. But if you don’t, then I understand.” He waited to give Steve a chance to speak, but he never did, so Tony continued. “When they got really bad for me, I didn’t want to talk about them either. Sometimes it just helps to be with someone.”

“Tony..”

His voice was shaking, making Tony slowly grasp Steve’s hand into his own. Thankfully, Steve took it quickly, grasping it like a lifeline. 

“I saw you...you fell and I couldn’t catch you.” His voice was distant as he spoke, seeming empty, but full of fear at the same time. “It’s usually Bucky, but this time it was you. And I watched you die, right in front of me. You were gone. Oh gosh, I lost you. And it was all my fault.”

Steve let go of Tony’s hand to cover his own face as more sobs broke through his throat. This was a man that was extremely haunted by these terrors, and the scene of Steve this broken and hurt made Tony’s heart ache awfully. He urgently wanted to chase the nightmares away, giving Steve the peace and solid night’s sleep he obviously needed. However, all he could do at that moment, was to offer his arms and be there for Steve, a presence to lean on. Carefully, Tony whispered his next action, waiting for Steve to nod. Once he did so, Tony scooted over to Steve, wrapping his arms comfortingly around the soldier. Strangely, the sobs grew louder and Toy started to pull away, afraid that he had made it worse. Despite this, Steve wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, pulling him close. Due to the drastic height difference and Steve’s panicked, unthinking mind, Tony was pulled straight into Steve’s lap. Yes, right into it.

Awkwardly, Tony tried to tell himself that this was normal, that the man was just seeking comfort, but it never seemed to ease the rigidness in his body. He tentatively slid his arms around Steve’s neck, placing his chin gently onto Steve’s golden hair. The soldier tucked his face further into Tony’s chest, practically nuzzling the arc reactor as he murmured something. 

“He’s ok, he’s ok,” he heard Steve say over and over as the sobs slowly began to bleed away.

Tony hummed in understanding, finally letting the tension fade as he began to trace equations into Steve’s shoulders. The movements were slow and gentle as they moved through different chemicals and metals. He went across the periodic table and then moved to acids and then to physics formulas. Just as he reached the formulas for quantum mechanics, Steve took a deep, shaky breath and slowly pulled back. Their current position had Tony sitting sideways in the middle of Steve’s crossed legs with the soldier's arms around his waist. When he tried to break away from this hold, Steve only held him tighter. Looking closer, he saw as the soldier kept his head down, wearing a thick blush. 

Gently, Tony took one of Steve's hands, prying it from his waist and placing it over his chest. Without any instruction needed, Steve felt as Tony inhaled deeply, held it for a second, and then released slowly. Instantly, the super soldier mimicked the action, and with each trembling breath, each became slower and steadier. 

“Again, like I said before, we’ve gotta stop crying on each other like this,” Tony chuckled half heartedly, as he subconsciously brought a hand up to cup Steve’s cheek. He looked into puffy, bloodshot ocean eyes, feeling a deep pit in his stomach at that sight. Seeing Steve like this, this broken and hurt, ignited an anger inside Tony. He never again wanted to see the man like this, ever, but for that moment, Tony washed away this emerging anger and instead, reverted back to a gentle state of mind. He smiled lightly as he wiped Steve’s cheeks and combed hands through his hair. This may have seemed extremely intimate to anyone else, but to these two, there was nothing wrong with it. It was simply one man suffering and being comforted by a similarly damaged one. 

When Steve spoke again, his voice was coarse and rough from the constant crying. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Steve,” Tony interrupted with a knowing look. “Shut up. Honestly, I’m really glad you came to me for help. But it makes me worried that if these nightmares and panic attacks were this bad every night, why after all this time, now you came to me. I hope you didn’t force yourself through all of this alone.”

“Well...it was never this bad before. Other nights it was growing worse, but I could always handle it. I wanted to handle it. I didn’t want to seem…”

“Steven Rogers.” Tony’s cold tone forced Steve to finally look up with a shocked expression. “If you tell me you didn’t want to feel weak then I will slap you.”

The soldier only blushed again and ducked his head down.

“What makes you weak is thinking that going down this dark path alone is the only way to fix it. That’s what leads to...other things. Because that way you don’t see any other solution but an end. A tragic end. And there are other solutions. That’s what makes you strong. Strong enough to come to someone and see those other paths. Paths to health and happiness and sunshine and rainbows.” 

FInally, a pathetic laugh bubbled from Steve’s throat. Sure it was pathetic, but at least it was a laugh. 

“Listen. I know it’s hard to believe, but I’ve been there too. I was there but I felt like I had no one. So yeah, I gave up. I gave up and tried to...you know. But if it wasn’t for the people around me, I wouldn’t be here at all. And that is what I learned. To be brave enough to share with others and keep fighting is real strength. No matter the muscles.” With a light smack on the bicep, Steve smiled brightly, wiping his face for the last time.

“Thank you, Tony.”

With a nod, Tony smiled and looked down. “Now, if I could have my body back, that’d be great.”

As if it were possible, Steve’s face turned an even brighter shade of red as he realized their position. “Oh, oh yeah. I’m sorry.”

Once he was let go, Tony sat back onto the other side of the bed, providing enough personal space between the two of them, but not too much as it seemed uncomfortable. They each sat in the cool blue light of Tony’s reactor peacefully, until Tony couldn’t help but let a yawn escape from his lips.

“Ok, I’m gonna go to sleep now. Unless you need anything else?” 

Steve’s gaze flicked up to Tony’s face suddenly from where it was strangely staring at the reactor. It was starting to make Tony feel slightly uneasy as he began to pull the purple sheets up.

“No, no, I’m much better now. I’m sorry that I kind of...ran to you.”

“Please, Steve. Literally anytime this happens, I’d rather you come to me than go through it alone. Trust me, I understand how hard this can be. You’ll be ok, I promise.” As he spoke, Tony leaned forward to press a hand comfortingly on Steve’s massive shoulder. The blond smiled encouragingly in response. 

After a beat of silence, Steve seemed unsure of what to do next. He started to seem uneasy. That was when Tony started to form an idea. He remembered the one night when they accidentally fell asleep together, Steve had never woken up once. Weighing the pros and cons and possible reactions from Steve, Tony decided to just risk it and speak. “Now, here’s an idea. And I just wanna say that I truely, honestly don’t care, but, if it makes you more comfortable, do you wanna sleep here tonight? Maybe having someone present will help you? Only if you don’t mind though, just a suggestion.”

The blond’s face seemed to scrunch in thought as he looked down at his hands which rested in his lap. A nervous sweat began to break out along Tony’s brow, feeling like he had overstepped a boundary. Just as he was about to take back the ridiculous thought, Steve started to speak to Tony’s relief.

“This may sound weird, but I have enhanced hearing and whenever I am close to you, I can hear this faint hum from your reactor. It actually helped after that nightmare, being able to hear that you’re alive and ok. If you’re alright with it...I’d like to stay here tonight. Just until these night terrors calm down.”

There was a hum? Coming from the reactor? Tony put on a puzzled face as he craned his neck down to try and listen for it. A laugh bubbled from Steve’s side of the bed, making Tony stick up a finger and shush him. Sadly, that didn’t work as the laugh only grew louder.

“Steve, shut up for once! I wanna hear it!” 

“Tony…” he said between chuckles. “I don’t think you will.”

“No, I won’t. Not with your constant noise!”

Finally, Tony gave up, knowing he probably wouldn’t hear it, even if Steve was quiet. He looked up to see the soldier staring at him warmly. It sent a strange feeling down his spine and into his stomach. Feeling like a deer in headlights under Steve’s eyes, Tony cleared his throat, shifting. Steve still didn’t snap out of it, so he narrowed his eyes and smirked. Swiftly, Tony snatched one of his pillows, using it to smack Steve in the face.

Steve cried out, shrieking. “I thought we said no pillow fights with super soldiers!”

“Sabotage!”

Tony picked the pillow up again, and struck Steve once more. As it was raised again for another strike, Steve reacted faster, leaping forward to grab Tony’s waist and throw him onto his back. This time it was Tony’s turn to shriek as he tucked his feet to push them onto Steve’s stomach, forcing the two to roll across the bed as they laughed and wrestled. Steve managed to knock Tony back onto his posterior, laughing at how his feet still shoved at Steve’s stomach and now his palms pushed at his cheeks. Tony felt his belly convulse with snickers at the sight of Steve’s face being distorted by Tony squishing his cheeks. 

“O’ay, I ‘all t’uce,” Steve said around Tony’s hands.

“What was that? I can’t hear you?”

Steve rolled his eyes, reaching up to grasp both of Tony’s wrists and pull them away from Steve’s face. 

“I said, ‘I call truce’.”

For a brief moment, they both laid like that. Tony couldn’t help but stare up at the soldier above him, taking in the perfectly chiseled chin, sharp cheekbones, and glistening eyes that glowed in the blue light. His usually perfect hair was ruffled, leaving strands of blond sticking in every direction and painting his forehead. No wonder all the girls fell head over heels. And no wonder Tony was shamefully enjoying being this close to Steve, especially with Steve still holding his wrists with his strong hands. 

Both of them jumped suddenly as a knock pounded on the door. Before Tony could even push out from under Steve, who now moved closer to Tony in a protective like stance, the door flew open revealing a startled looking Natasha. 

“Hey- Oh! Wow!” Her eyes widened comically as she raised a hand to shield her eyes and turned around. “So sorry for interrupting .” 

“Nat! It’s not that . Don’t be a pervert!” Tony would admit his voice did crack a little at the statement as he shoved Steve to the side. The soldier went willingly, seeming just as horrified.

“I wasn’t-we weren’t-it’s not-I’m-”

Tony rolled his eyes, and spoke again to stop Steve from continuing his embarrassing stuttering. “What time is it? And what do you want?”

Finally, she turned around, but the smirk only lasted a second before it fell into a concerned frown.

“Nat...What’s wrong?” Steve asked, moving to the edge of the bed to stand up.

“Remember how Clint went down to New Mexico yesterday for a solo mission?”

They both nodded.

“Fury called. We need to gear up. He’s been compromised.”

Tony’s heart dropped. He knew how close Nat and Clint were, especially with the concern leaking through her tone. “What do you mean?”

“It’s the Tesseract. Someone used it to teleport there and destroyed the base. He took Clint using some sort of mind control abilities.”

“Tesseract?” Steve asked, stunned as he turned to Tony. Tony wasn’t looking at him though. He stared at Natasha instead, feeling her anxiety for her friend.

“Who was it?” Tony asked, masking his fear with determination. 

She paused, breaking eye contact with Tony. “His name is Loki.”

Chapter Text

Steve

This couldn’t have gotten any worse. Everything was all going so well, except for the nightmares of course, but even those seemed to have a bright side after his breakdown session number 2 with Tony. Embarrassingly, Steve had ran to Tony instantly, feeling the desperate urge to see if he was okay. After seeing such a graphic image of his best friend perishing right in front of his eyes, Steve had to make sure it certainly was a dream and that was all. After having quite an intense panic attack, Tony decided to initiate another pillow fight which was a bad idea on his part of course. Steve went easy on him, giving him the benefit of the doubt (which he would never tell Tony, knowing the small man would only grow angrier at that), and they ended up at a statemate. Again, that feeling came back to Steve as he kneeled over Tony’s body, gazing at the way his curls laid across the lavender sheets, eyes sparked, and lean chest heaved out labored breaths. With each breath that left Tony’s lips, Steve found himself growing closer, inch by inch, captivated by the steady pattern of his exhales.

That is he was captivated until Natasha burst into the room. Despite the comedy that could have come from the situation, it was short lived by the grim news she had. Apparently the tesseract had been in Shield’s possession, but when they were studying it in New Mexico, it started to go haywire. They called Clint down previously to give them some back up protection for the scientists. The mission had been confidential until a person had harnessed the Tesseract’s power, using it to teleport right into the lab. He had killed dozens of people, and used a strange staff to corrupt agents’ minds, taking them with him as personal slaves of some sort. Clint had been one of these unfortunate souls, and the lab was destroyed. The man, supposedly named Loki, took the tesseract and the corrupted agents with him. 

Sympathy flooded inside both Steve and Tony as they watched Natasha fall into the anxiety for her friend but mask it with a blank face. She told them that Fury was calling for them to meet at the helicarrier and to bring everything they required for a fight. Each of them went to their floors to suit up, except Steve, who dressed in jeans and a flexible shirt as he never thought to ask for a suit this soon. He and Nat took a car while Tony flew and within a few minutes, they all stood in front of Fury.

“He claims to be some kind of God, here to save us and bring justice or some crap. All I care about is that he kills for fun and thinks of himself as something to be worshiped. We need to get that staff and tesseract from him immediately and take him into custody.”

“Should have just left that thing in the ocean where it belongs. Out of human reach.” Everyone glanced at Steve, silently agreeing with his comment, but chose to keep their mouths shut. 

“The three of you are to report to Loki’s location once we trace it and bring him in. He’s extremely hostile, so be careful. And, Captain Rogers,” Fury looked to him specifically. “This is Agent Phil Coulson. He will take you to a newly fabricated suit that has been newly designed.”

He pointed to a man who stood to the left. He had a friendly looking face with a smirking smile. “Hello, Captain Rogers. Can I just say, it is a pleasure to meet you. Officially.”

Steve smiled back as the agent took his hand in an excited hand shake. “Of course, Mr. Coulson.”

“Please, just Coulson is fine. If you come this way, I’ll show you the suit.”

A loud voice spoke up from the other side of the room. They both looked over to see Tony crossing his arms over his chest proudly, eyes closed and teeth shining. “Yeah, that I re-designed after these idiots totally disfigured the thing.”

Steve shook his head, replying sarcastically. “Thank you, Tony. Coulson?” 

They left the room then to see this new gear and Steve was suddenly feeling excited. He knew that now wasn’t the time for happy feelings, and that he should be more focused, but the idea of a new suit was exhilarating. Along the way, Steve learned how much of a fan Coulson was. The balding man was talking all about his childhood obsession, and although it was slightly disturbing, Steve also found it charming in a way. Once they reached their destination, Steve felt his excitement fully ignite at the sight of a gorgeous suit. It was still red, white and blue, but it gave a certain serious tone with it’s appearance. The stripes were in differently styled geometric shapes just like the rest of the suit, looking like more of a Captain America suit than a halloween costume. The blue was more of a navy color that matched well with the brown belt and straps for the shield on his back. Said shield was also sitting inside the display case, remaining unchanged in its frisbee like glory.

The suit fit like a glove, strangely enough, and once he was ready, Steve met with the others, watching in amusement at their reactions, especially Tony’s. The engineer had been sitting down, speaking to a man with glasses and curly brown/grey hair. Now, however, his almond eyes were sparkling in Steve’s direction. In turn, Steve puffed out his chest, and tucked his thumbs into his belt. He internally preened as Tony seemed to drink his appearance in. With a cocky smirk, he could see Natasha rolling her eyes front where she was looking over a computer with another agent. 

“Wow,” Tony breathed as a smile grew over the fascinated look. “I’m good.”

“Alright, Stark. Put your tongue back in your mouth and stop falling in love with everything you invent. We’ve found Loki, it’s time.”

Everyone nodded at Fury’s comment while Tony sputtered in frustration. The 3 Avengers quickly filed to the hanger to board a jet and get Tony’s suit. And while they walked, Steve definitely did not stare at Tony dressed in a tight...very tight back undersuit that had blue lines along his arms, legs and chest that seemed to glow along with the arc reactor. The jet took off to Germany where Loki had been spotted. The so-called “god” was wearing a ridiculous looking outfit of green, black and gold with a horned helmet, which caused Tony to nickname him “Reindeer games”. The fight went quickly, rather too quickly, and soon, Loki was secured in the jet. Steve could sense everyone’s shared sense that something was off, especially when lightning surrounded the jet and in the blink of a second, a man flew in and grabbed their prisoner. Tony, being Tony, recklessly jumped from the jet after them with a plan to just attack. Swallowing his anger, Steve grabbed a parachute and leapt after them. The fight ended up being just as quick as the one with Loki. This challenger was dressed similarly to Loki, but wore silver and blue armor with a red cap and long blond hair. He spoke like Loki as well, claiming to be his brother. The fight ended with the three realizing they were all equally matched and on the same side.

Once everyone got at least a couple hits in, they finally were able to get Loki back onto the transport and to New York. At the helicarrier, Loki was held in a large glass prison meant for someone called the Hulk. But anyway, the helicarrier converted into a hovercraft of some kind and took off into the air. The blond warrior was Thor, Loki’s brother, also a norse God from a realm called Asgard. Steve was also introduced to the man Tony had been speaking to earlier; his name was Bruce Banner, and he was a scientist that was going to help them trace the tesseract. His body had absorbed gamma radiation and created an alternate personality called the Hulk. The Hulk, as described by Tony, was an enormous green rage monster. 

So while Thor interrogated his suspicious brother with Natasha, and Tony and Bruce went to investigate the scepter and track the tesseract, Steve decided to do some investigating of his own. For some reason, when he went to go speak with Tony, there was a strong sense of anger in him. He ended up snapped at Tony for having his usual cockiness and humor. It seemed to stun the both of them, making Steve storm off to the storage area. Stealthily, Steve broke into a storage center, discovering old hydra weapons that were made for the purpose of harnessing the tesseract’s power. The anger floated up again, making Steve seethe. He had trusted and joined this side only to find out that they wanted to build weapons, and not just any weapons, weapons like hydra’s. He stormed back up to Tony’s lab, slamming down one of the guns he had found just as Tony proved his theory. Apparently, he was also suspicious as to why Shield had gotten the Tesseract in the first place. 

“It’s because of people like him,” Fury said his excuse as he pointed to Thor, who only laughed, while insulting humans.

Evidently, everyone else was feeling just as emotional as Bruce also had a moment. That was when Tony decided to lay a hand on Steve’s shoulder, saying how Bruce should be allowed to blow off some steam. So what, were they buddies now? If Tony was such good friends with Bruce now, why was he touching Steve? Horrid jealousy bubbled inside Steve as he shoved the hand off his shoulder, watching Tony stare at him shockingly.

“You know damn well why, now back off,” Steve growled, watching as Tony stuck his face right up to Steve’s. His teeth were tight and eyes firey. 

“Oh, I’m starting to want you to make me, Rogers.” He was practically standing on his tiptoes to stay eye level with Steve, as the soldier straightened his back, standing taller.

Steve snickered pathetically. “Big man in a suit of armor, take that off what are you?”

Tony smirked. “Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

“I know guys with none of that and worth ten of you. I know why you’re here, the real reason you fight is for yourself. You’re not the person to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on the wire and let the other guy crawl over you.”

“I think I would just cut the wire.”

Steve smirked, looking over at everyone else who only starred uncomfortably. “Always a way out. You may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.”

Tony laughed mockingly. “Oh? A hero? Like you? You’re a lab experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”

“Put on the suit, Let’s go a few rounds.” 

At this point, their chests were practically touching. Before Tony could snap back, Thor laughed loudly, continuing to insult humans. 

“Romanoff, escort Banner back to-”

“My room? Well you’ve already rented it.” Bruce interrupted Fury. His voice was quiet but full of rage.

“The cell was just in case-”

“You needed to kill me. I know, I’ve tried.”

The air seemed to freeze everyone as they stared at Bruce. Steve watched in his peripheral vision as Tony blinked harshly before rubbing his forehead. So he felt it too, something was pushing them to say all of this, getting into their heads and forcing them to act on emotion.

“I got to a low point and didn’t see a way out. I put a bullet in my brain and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, started helping people, being good, and now you’ve all dragged me back here.”

Just as Bruce suddenly picked up the scepter, an alarm went off, locating the tesseract. As if it couldn’t get any worse, an explosion blew up the entire room, sending Natasha and Bruce through the floor and Steve and Tony to the side. Instantly, Steve launched himself to shield Tony, feeling the instinct to protect him beyond all else. He crouched over the man, waiting for the blow to finish it’s damage and smoke to clear. Quickly, while Tony was still regaining his senses, Steve assessed him for any injuries, but he seemed fine.

“Tony, get the suit,” Steve instructed as he grabbed Tony’s waist gently, helping him to stand. He received a quick, ‘yup’ in response, following as Tony ran to get his suit. 

In Steve’s earpiece, he heard Fury tell him to go with Stark and repair one of the jets that was leading the ship down towards the ocean. He copied and informed Tony, listening as he told Steve to meet him at the area. The helicarrier had been invaded with agents who were making their way to Loki, to set him free. So, that proved to be Steve's real challenge as he fought to stay near the control panel that would release Tony from the jet turbine he was currently in, trying to clear out the debris. 

Suddenly, the carrier lurched as the turbine began to rotate faster and faster. Steve had been dangling in the air, hanging off of the ship as he was being shot at. Tony's voice was screaming in his ear to pull the lever as he started to get shredded by the blades. Fear seemed to stab Steve in the stomach as he heard the brunette begin to panic. In a flash of instinct, Steve took out the agent and opened the turbine, releasing Tony. 

Once that was over, the two met back on the helicarrier, and were securing the corrupted agents when Fury's voice rang out through Steve's earpiece. Clint was back, but Loki had gotten away. The Hulk had come out, leaving Bruce MIA and Thor had been tricked by Loki into getting locked in the Hulk prison and was now somewhere back on the land. They had been broken up so easily like cotton candy. Then, Fury delivered the final blow; Coulson had been killed. They met in another room, just the three of them, watching as Fury threw a stack of bloodied collectible Captain America cards onto the table. They scattered across it, splattering blood all over the place. Tony made a strange noise as he suddenly stood up, walking out of the room. Steve looked to Fury before he also stood up, briskly following Tony out. 

He was standing in the room that Loki was being held in, facing the blood stain that was Coulson's. A dark look took over his face, shadowing his eyes. Usually, Tony was excellent at masking emotions, but this time, he wore it in plain sight. Evidently, Tony had known him well. 

"You knew him, didn’t you." Steve asked softly as Tony let out a wet laugh, shaking his head.

"He was the one...who got me off my ass when I was dying. When I hit the lowest point possible, he gave me the shove I needed." 

Steve could hear the emotions bleeding from Tony's teeth. He was miserably trying to hold them back, to cover them with an angry tone.

"Tony…," Steve pushed as he leaned forward. 

"You-you know what Loki is? A diva, a damn diva who craves murder and the attention it brings. He wants to rule the world, to have people grovel at his feet, and praise him. He wants his name in lights, broadcasted across the sky an-" 

Tony's rant stopped suddenly as a realization hit his face. He turned to Steve, glassy eyes wide and mouth a gape.

"I know what he's going to do." 

Loki was going to use the tesseract to open a portal, summoning an army of aliens, and all of this was going to happen on Stark Tower. And so again, they all suited up, pulling their acts together for Coulson's sake. They met to see Clint, who had the sanity smacked right into him, quite literally, by Natasha. They all made their way back to the city, Steve, Nat and Clint to go and help civilians and Tony to the tower. The tower which was now a beacon in the sky, slicing it open to reveal an abyss of space with an alien army spilling out. Steve watched in horror as these...creatures ran ramped around the street, shooting people and destroying anything in their paths. Not only that, but giant, shark like creatures also flew out, dressed in strange armor. 

Just as the battle seemed to be reaching a bloody defeat, both Thor and Bruce resurfaced to help. Together, the battle raged on and soon the Avengers were catching up. Just as it seemed that they could possibly win this one, with Natasha on the tower, announcing that she could close the portal, Tony's voice came online. 

"No! Not yet, I have a nuke and I know just where to put it." 

Steve froze. A nuke? Looking up, he saw Tony, in all his red and gold glory, flying straight out into the Sound towards a large missile. It was headed right towards the city, specifically, Stark Tower. Steve looked to the tower, barely spotting Natasha's red hair near the tesseract. Tony was now holding the nuke, pushing it up so it was aimed at the portal.

"Stark, that's a one way trip, you know that," Steve kept his voice cold, and hardened like a soldier's should. Now wasn't the time to get emotional, they had a job to do, lives to save. They all agreed to this, knowing full and well the risks. Steve kept repeating this to himself over and over, but no matter how many times he told himself this, a dreadful pit formed in his stomach. It was causing his hands to shake and vision to swim.

Without another word, silence on the comms, everyone watched helplessly as Tony slowly curved the missile into the hole. Steve cringed as Tony’s suit scraped against the side of the tower. The sudden sound accompanied by the flying sparks seemed to finally snap Steve from his horrified haze. He shook his head vigorously to try and clear it and hit his ear piece wildly.

“Tony! Tony, can you hear me?!” All he got in response was static. Pure, empty static. He looked up and saw Tony had already entered the portal with the missile. The darkness absorbed him quickly and silently. That was it, Tony was gone. Steve felt his hand raise itself automatically, unsure of what he was doing.

“Close it.” Oh, right, the greater good and all of that. His own voice sounded like a stranger’s as he spoke. Steve knew he didn’t want to close that portal, he knew that he desperately wanted to wait for Tony to come back. The emotional side of him was begging to stop this madness as the portal started to close in on itself. 

With each inch it closed, Steve’s stomach seemed to get tighter and tighter. So he really was a curse to everyone around him. Destined to be alone forever, unable to save anyone but himself. He lets every single one of his friends down, and it's all on him, no one else. It was always Steve’s fault. He failed his mom, dad, Howard, Bucky, Peggy, the Howling Commandos, and now Tony. Tony, the man who only treated Steve with the utmost respect, generosity, understanding and affection. Flashes of Tony’s warm face filled his brain. Of them on the bed when they accidentally fell asleep together, of the pillow fight, of the shopping spree, of Tony’s laugh, and every memory possible of the man. He wanted to vomit as the strange feeling came back, only this time it made him feel sick. It made him sick as he finally realized what those feelings were. He was done with denial, and now when Tony was actually gone, his stupid brain caught up with his heart. Those feelings, they weren’t platonic, no, they weren’t platonic at all. They were lo-

“Look!” Thor laughed, raising his hammer. Steve’s head flew up to see the now small speck of a portal. It still shrank, but something was emerging from it. Just as it seemed to close completely, a suit of red and gold came barreling out from it. It was Tony.

Chapter Text

Tony

Once Tony saw that missile heading straight for the city, he knew what he had to do. Steve’s words still rang inside his skull, ‘You’re not the person to make the sacrifice play’, ‘You may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero’ . He knew that that fight was only caused by the staff; it was tapping into their brains, making them lose control of their emotions. So of course the super soldier never meant to say any of that, but it was still something that was lingering in his mind. Now wasn’t the time for insecure thoughts, though. As he flew to the nuke, grabbing onto it, he could hear the desperation in Steve’s voice. Behind his cold words, his emotions were begging Tony to drop the weapon and come back to find another way. Time wasn’t on their side though. Time was against them. 

Choking back his anxieties, Tony breathed deeply, staring ahead. Jarvis attempted to call Pepper, so Tony could at least have someone when the comms went out, but she never answered. It was probably better that way. No one should get tangled into this mess. So, Tony flew. He stared at the large alien base that sat in space. It was an endless sky full of purples, blues, violets, and everything in between. It could have been beautiful, if it weren’t for the instant fear that struck him. Upon seeing this giant alien base with hundreds of more troops waiting to be deployed, Tony felt his body grow entirely ridged. Suddenly, Jarvis’ voice seemed to blur out of his ear and all he could listen to was the whistling of the wind through the helmet. The air was growing thinner and thinner as Tony desperately tried to suck more and more in. Despite the heavy breathing, Tony’s vision began to swim and grow dark. Closing his eyes, for some reason Tony’s mind went back to a warm, comforting memory. Now, instead of the cold words that Steve was forced to say, warmer ones filled Tony’s brain as the last thing he recalled before losing consciousness was:

“And I don’t care what you have been trying to prove to Howard, or whoever you are doing all of this for. Because I am so proud of you. And...I wanna help you see everything that I see, because you deserve that much and so much more. I know what it feels like to try and fill something inside you that feels empty and never satisfied. And I know what it’s like to try and make a name for yourself because you feel so alone and unseen. But Tony...I see you.”

I see you. 

--<>-- 

Don’t waste your life, Stark

When I ordered the hit on you, I was worried that I was killing the golden goose. But, you see, it was just fate that you survived it, leaving one last golden egg to give.

Before you go, palladium in the chest, painful way to die.

Tony, you're too young to understand this right now, so I thought I would put it on film for you.

I built this for you. And some day you'll realize that it represents a whole lot more than just people's inventions.

How was the fun-vee? Next time you ride with me, okay?

You're going to kill yourself, Tony. I'm not going to be a part of it.

You're out of control, okay?

Voices. That was all he could hear. They rang in and out and seemed to echo inside his sleeping brain. With every vibration, Tony felt like his head was going to split open. Everything hurt, but it all seemed to originate from his chest. A sense of floating overcame his body, tingling up his fingers and toes and through every nerve. It was disturbing, but also relaxing. Just as he was starting to fall into a completely relaxed state, a loud roar forced his body to jerk awake. He let out a yell as his eyes flew open, letting a blinding light in. He blinked furiously, trying to catch his breath. 

“What the hell?” When his vision finally cleared, Tony looked around to see Thor, the Hulk and Steve all kneeling around him. They were all covered in dirt, grime and sweat, just like Tony. “What just happened?”

Looking over to Steve, Tony saw a bright smile on his face as he stared down at Tony with glistening eyes. 

“Please tell me nobody kissed me.”

Steve broke the eye contact to shake his head and lean back. There was dirt covering his whole face, but more specifically 3 large spots. One on his temple, the other near his forehead and the last one on his cheek. A large gash also was bleeding through his uniform on his shoulder and his abdomen was covered in blood. The usually perfect blond hair on his head was practically black and greasy. Tony wanted to stop staring, but he couldn’t for some reason. The man was filthy, but why was his subconscious wanting to keep his eyes glued on his face? His bright, handsome face that was wearing a smug smile with those stupid perfect teeth. In a breathless voice, Steve spoke up, “We won.”

Snapping out of his stumptor, Tony tried to test his limbs. He could move them, but they felt heavy as dumbbells. 

Gritting his teeth, Tony joked, “Alright...Yay. Good job guys. Let’s just not come in tomorrow. Let’s just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma?” He looked over to Thor who was now standing. The blonde beauty turned back to him with a quizzical expression. “There’s a shawarma joint about 2 blocks from here. I don’t know what it is, but I wanna try it.”

He was just as dirty as the rest of them, hair matted with dirt and armor scattered with various scrapes and blood splotches. Thor didn’t provide an answer to Tony though. Instead, he gazed back up to the practically destroyed Stark Tower. “We aren’t finished yet.”

Oh, right, Loki. The same man who chucked him right out of the window a couple hours ago. “And then shawarma after.” 

“Sure, Tony. After we finish, we’ll get some.” Steve assured him as he stood up, offering a hand to Tony. 

Begrudgingly, Tony grabbed the red gloved hand, pulling himself up. The armor clattered and shuddered. It truly was busted. The idea gave Tony sadness but also sent an excited buzzing sensation throughout his body at all of the busy all nighters and workshop binges. 

“How was the suit? Did it live up to your expectations?”

Steve smiled, patting a hand on Tony’s shoulder, still holding his hand. “It was perfect, thank you, Tony.”

Heat rushed to Tony’s cheeks. Usually, he would get some kind of snappy response from anyone else, but not Steve of course. Tony wasn’t used to his stupid compliments and kindness, not even by now. 

“Now, let’s finish this,” Thor said as he stood ahead of them, facing the tower. 

Tony could hear the weariness and misery in his voice as he started to walk forward. He couldn’t imagine what the man was going through. They had just met not even 24 hours ago, and Tony already sympathized with him. The man had an even worse family dynamic than Tony did. His brother, upon finding out that his isolated treatment he was given from his family all his life was because of his real race, had totally turned to the dark side. He had gone off to some other organization, joining some alien army and attacking an entire planet, murdering left and right while Thor was left to clean up the whole mess. He not only lost his only brother but had tons of other responsibilities thrust upon him. Tony knew what that was like, having to clean up others’ messes as if they were your own. 

Thor looked back to the three other heroes, nodding as Steve gave him his famous ‘look of approval’. With a raise of his hammer, the god flew off into the sky, towards the tower. The building was standing, but it seemed like it was hanging by a string. The entire top of it was smashed and destroyed. And yes, that included Tony’s penthouse. Tony’s beautiful minibar, flat screen, and clothes possibly. Oh, his bed too. His comfy bed. The entire Stark sign was destroyed with only the A barely hanging on. The hulk roared loudly as he jumped after Thor, also to the tower. 

“Oh, no, please, don’t destroy my baby even more than it already is!” Tony tried to access the suit’s thrusters, but it was completely dead. Not even Jarvis was responding. “Great.”

Tony pouted as he blew some of his bangs out of the way. He had taken the helmet off after he stood up, leaving his hair matted and sticking up in random places. 

“Looks like you and I are walking.”

Looking to his right, Tony saw Steve looking at him smuggly. His eyes were closed with a giant smile on his face. His helmet was also off, left dangling in his right hand. The other hand was wrapped around his abdomen, compressing a nasty wound. 

“Are you gonna be okay to do that?”

Tony stepped closer in concern, but Steve shook his head. “Don’t worry, I just needed a few minutes for the serum to kick in. But now I’m good to go. It stopped bleeding, now it’s just healing itself.”

Rolling his eyes, Tony turned, hissing at a burning in his shoulders. There was also a sharp pain in his leg and several smaller ones all over. 

“Maybe I should ask you the same thing.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine. Just, sore.” 

The suit seemed to be dead weight at this point to Tony. It was pressing down on his shoulders painfully and it felt like the metal had broken and was being pushed into his abdomen, pressing unbearably into a deep gash. Gritting his teeth, Tony looked up and started walking forward. Thankfully enough, his legs seemed to be alright. 

“Come on,  before we miss the afterparty.”

Steve jogged up to Tony before he fell into step with Iron Man, walking alongside him. At first, there was a comfortable silence between them, the city was scarily quiet except for the occasional sound of rocks falling. They were only about 5 blocks from the tower, but every step sent a spike of pain into Tony’s stomach. Fortunately, Steve started to speak, which sparked hope in Tony that he might be distracted from the soreness.

“Tony...I know that this may not be the time to bring this up, but on the Helicarrier, what I said, I didn’t-”

Tony cut him off. “Steve, don’t worry about it. It was all Loki’s stupid magic glowstick of destiny. It was tapping into our frustrated and anxious emotions, making us say things without us meaning them. I said some pretty nasty things to you too. There are unspoken apologies all around.”

Steve hummed, but thankfully kept talking. The more distraction, the better. Of course, this wasn’t exactly what Tony would want. “What you did, just then, was amazing. I think everyone underestimated you.” More compliments of course.

“It’s nothing, anyone else would’ve-”

“No they wouldn’t, Tony. That’s why it was you who did it. You sacrificed yourself for everyone, without hesitation. I admire that. And I know that the staff was the cause for all of the arguments, but it had to come from somewhere. All of those doubts that those, as you say, ‘haters’ planted inside me are definitely gone now. You’re a good man, Tony. With or without the suit.”

Now he was never going to stop blushing. This is why Tony was also upholding this cocky attitude, so people would refrain from giving him these praises. He would always annoyingly say them for people so they wouldn’t. But no matter what, Steve was always the exception.  

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all good.”

“You shouldn’t do that.”

“What?” Tony snapped more irritably than he wanted.

“Deflect compliments.”

Wow, where the hell did naive Steve go? Usually Tony wore an amazing emotional mask, able to deflect all peering eyes, all except Steve’s overly curious ones. He took too long to respond so chose to remain silent. Steve’s eyes were watching him; they seemed to strip him to the bone, analysing every part. He and Natasha would be excellent friends. Finally, the staring stopped as Steve looked ahead again.

“What do you think of Thor?” Tony asked in hopes of striking up another conversation to distract from the growing pain. “Do you think he’ll stay around? Maybe join the team?”

“Well, he’d be an excellent asset. He also seems very friendly through the family trauma.”

Tony hummed. “Hammer’s cool.”

That seemed to do it, as Steve loosened and threw his head back for a quick laugh. 

“It really is. How do you think it works?”

“Definitely the hair. It’s got to be. You know, you grow yours out like that, and we can give it a try. Maybe then you’ll be able to keep up with me in the air.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Finally, they had arrived at the demolished tower, scanning into the lobby and walking to the elevator. They both simultaneously reached for the button. Steve squeaked out an ‘oh’ as they both retracted their hands. Tony rolled his eyes, tired of the day’s awkward moments, as he reached forward, jamming the button. 

Tony desperately wanted to take the suit off and collapse, but Loki was still upstairs and being only human, Tony wanted to keep some kind of barrier between himself and the god, as it was his only method of intimidation. When the doors opened, Thor was standing with the Hulk over Loki. Steve and Tony joined soon after with Clint and Natasha who also arrived form the elevator. It was a picture perfect moment of all of the heroes surrounding Loki as the villian slowly raised his hands in surrender, looking at Tony.

“I think I’ll have that drink now,” he said with a smirk.

Tony couldn’t help but put on his own smug look and chuckle. “I mean-”

“Alright! That’s enough of that. We’re done.” Steve had cut Tony off, giving him a strict side eye. The genius only shrugged and laughed as Shield agents flooded the floor accompanied by none other than Nick Fury and Maria Hill.

“Well, that was a shit show.” Fury raised his hand and 4 people rushed forward to grab Loki’s arms, hefting him to stand and cuffing him. The cuffs had strange markings on them and looked like they were moving on their own; probably Asgardian. Thor stood next to him as a guard while several agents contained the staff and cube in special cases. Tony dismantled the suit, seeing no more need for it. The wound on his abdomen stung but didn’t pour out blood, so for the moment, Tony ignored it. Fury instructed him to carry the tesseract and make sure it got to the van downstairs safely along with Thor who was going to bring Loki to a similar van, both going to the helicarrier to be secured. 

As he was heading to the elevator with the 2 gods and Hill who had the staff, Tony looked over to see Steve receiving his own orders from Fury. The soldier made eye contact and gave him a side smile. Tony quickly tore his gaze back to the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. 

“On my way down to coordinate search and rescue.” From behind, Steve spoke into his earpiece as he headed for the elevator as well. 

Loki made a face and with a flash, turned into a copy of the soldier. “On mY WaY DowN To CooRdInatE SearCh ANd RescUe.” Then he turned back into himself. “I mean honestly , how do you-?” 

Thor suddenly pulled some device from his pocket, slapping it to his mouth. “Shut. Up.”

“Wish you could’ve done that a long time ago.” Maria said with an eye roll.

“Ditto.” The brunette agreed as the doors finally opened. All of them filed in and waited to get back to the lobby. Tony put the case he was holding down, using it as a stool. His body was hurting and all he wanted was to collapse in bed. 

“You ok, Tony?” Looking up, Tony saw Steve looking down at him with a concerned expression. 

Throwing on his best poker face and press smile, Tony nodded, feeling even too exhausted to answer verbally. 

Steve seemed to understand as he looked back up, changing the topic. “I’m going to help the search and rescue team for as long as I can with Natasha and Clint when they finish up with talking to Fury, then we can go to that...what did you call it?”

“Oh, shawarma. Right, sure.”

“This shawarma meeting you speak of, are you extending any other invites?”

They both looked up to see Thor with a strict poker face, but there was a joking undertone to his question. Tony smirked. “It’s for Avengers only, but I think I’m willing to make an exception for those who saved the world.”

“Well, that exception might not even be necessary.” Thor’s comment was accompanied by a startled look from Loki. 

Thor shrugged. “Fury spoke to me about a spot. I have grown especially fond of this planet and its people. Once I bring Loki to Asgard for trial, I shall return here to help in any way I can to correct Loki’s damage. After today, this planet will be a large target for threats with the tesseract and staff here, so maybe it is my place to stay and protect it.” 

“I mean, I think we got it covered, but I’m sure we can find a space for you and your giant muscles. The muscular blond spot is already taken though, as you can see.”

Steve rubbed the arch of his nose, shaking his head. “Thor, I’m sorry-”

Before an apology could be said, Thor laughed in a loud booming manner, slapping Tony on the shoulder. The engineer grunted as his shoulder screamed, and his eyes went comically wide. “I like this one. You have a deal, Stark. I will return soon enough and be on your so-called Avengers.”

The doors finally opened  and each of them filed out. Before Tony could get to the door, though, a hand snagged his arm. He turned to see Steve giving him the same concerned look from before. “Hey Tony, once that is secured, could you go down to medical? Just to get checked out?” 

Of course Steve would be the one to mother hen him. “Sure thing, mom. Anything else?”

Steve smiled. “No, that’s it. But, Tony, I’m serious. Get that wound checked out. I’ll call you for lunch and we’ll meet back here.” 

With a quick goodbye, Tony went with Thor and Hill to bring Loki, the tesseract, and the staff into Shield custody for the time being. Afterwards, he really wanted to take a fat nap, but Steve’s words ran in his head. Not wanting to hear it from the blond beefcake, Tony begrudgingly dragged himself to a team of medics outside the tower. There were several of them stationed throughout the city, helping those who had mild injuries or lacked the transportation to get to the hospitals which were most likely packed by then. A paramedic helped him, taping some of his cuts, stitching the gash in his stomach and sending him on his way. 

By then, Steve was calling him for lunch. Finally.

Chapter Text

Steve

They had won. The fight was over, and the battle was finally done. The city was practically in shambles, but at least everyone was safe. Of all of them, it was Tony who took the heroic fall, literally. Once the portal started to close, so did Steve’s chest. He felt it tightening at the thought of never seeing that brunette genius ever again. The heartbreak only lasted a moment though, as Thor signaled Steve to raise his head once again. A red and gold blur, the same one that just flew itself into space seconds ago, was falling from the closing portal. Steve could have cried right there and then at the sight, but looking closer, he could see that the body was limp and unmoving. 

“He’s not stopping,” Thor said, the concern bleeding into his voice. He started to whip his hammer, preparing to fly up and catch the tin man, when a roar burst out from their left. 

Suddenly, the Hulk jumped into the air, colliding with Tony and catching him with ease. He jumped from a building back down to the ground before he threw Tony’s body onto the street. It lay there like a lifeless doll. Steve felt the bile rising in his throat as he sprinted over to his friend. Sliding to his knees, he skid over to Tony as his eyes searched for any sign of life. Shaking hands gripped the faceplate, tearing it from its place. The tin man suddenly turned human as Tony’s face was revealed. His eyes were closed, and it didn’t look like he was breathing. Steve didn’t know what to do. He needed to...to do something, anything. It was starting to become harder for Steve to breath as he tried to focus, to think. All he could do, though, was sit and watch helplessly as Tony lay on the ground, unmoving. 

For some reason, Steve’s brain went back to the memory of when he and Tony were dancing to Whitney huston. He saw Tony’s bright smile after they had both collapsed onto the bed. His eyes sparkled as he shined his teeth at Steve. It was such a sight to behold that Steve’s heart tightened at the memory. He tried to push it out of his head, to focus again, but his brain only brought him to a more recent memory. The 2 of them laughed as they swung pillows at each other. Steve could see Tony laying on the bed, under Steve, breathing deeply, arc reactor shining, and eyes bright. His hair laid out upon the pillow in small curls. The feelings returned then. Steve felt tears begin to collect in the corners of his eyes as he was brought back to reality. 

Tony’s face was cold and still. There was no smile, no sparkling eyes. Nothing. Looking down, Steve forced himself to confirm his dark thoughts. The reactor, the beautiful blue light was dull. Gone. His breath caught in his throat as he bent his head, finally accepting. 

It was another roar from the Hulk that stunned Steve, shaking him from his grieving. Before he could look up, Tony let out a gasp. Steve snapped his gaze back to the brunette, feeling the deep pit in his stomach finally fill with relief. Those honey brown eyes were back, wide open, searching Steve's face and then Thor's. 

The Hulk roared again, as Tony tried to suck in air. "What the hell? Please tell me nobody kissed me?" 

Steve felt himself force a smile, putting all his self control into restraining himself from crushing Tony into a hug right there on the gravel. There was a place and a time for that, and that wasn't here. This was a professional atmosphere. They were teammates, so all Steve could do was relish the relief, force a smile through his crushing anxiety, and just make do with seeing Tony alive. He desperately wanted to touch him, to rip off the chest plate and see the reactor, to prove that Tony was alive and back with Steve. He wanted to just hold the man, but for now, all he could do was sit back. 

Eventually, they made it back to the tower and took Loki into custody. As Steve spoke to Fury, he watched out of the corner of his eye as Tony stripped off the suit finally. He looked to be ok, but he kept trying to roll his shoulders, wincing in pain. The undersuit looked clean altogether except for a dark patch staining the left side of his abdomen near his ribs. Just as he started to get an itch to get over and make sure the rest of Tony was ok, Fury snapped him back to reality. Steve got some last minute orders to help search and rescue with Clint and Nat and then they were free to take some time off. For now, they can volunteer for clean up or go and take some time for themselves. Thor was going to bring Loki to Asgard and then come back to join the team. Steve was thoroughly excited for that; he really enjoyed the man's company. Bruce, from what they knew, wasn't going to officially join the team. He was a slight mystery to all of them, but nothing about him was sinister, just sceptical about sharing his personal information, which Steve could understand.

So, Steve joined the others in the elevator to go back down to the lobby. As each of them filed out of the elevator, Steve watched Tony carefully. The man looked utterly exhausted and in pain. Figuring there was no harm in it, Steve asked him to go see medical before they went to lunch. He figured that by reminding Tony of his ‘reward’, which was lunch, he would be more willing to get checked out. The genius took the bait, stubbornly agreeing, bringing a smile to Steve’s face as the soldier left out another door to the search and rescue team awaiting his arrival. 

That took about a couple hours before they told him that everything was handled. He had done some heavy lifting and cleared a few buildings, before he was starting to really feel the day’s exhaustion. The head agent, Rumlow, was a rugged middle aged man. He had dark spiky hair and a smile that could be described as...slightly disturbing. He was nice enough though, reassuring Steve, Nat and Clint, that they were all set. He convinced them to head back for the day, but it wasn’t until he gave Steve some more information on how clean up was going to happen that Steve finally agreed to leave. He was going to take the night and tomorrow to rest up, before coming back to assist with whatever clean up was needed. Luckily, the alien army didn’t get too far, but they were very much concentrated in the southern part of the city where the portal was. That was where most of the damage was, and it was mostly heavy damage. So far, there were only 74 casualties, considering the damage, that was a pretty ok number. They counted themselves lucky that so many first responders were able to evacuate many people so quickly. 

Anyway, Steve called up Tony, who just told the 3 of them to meet at a certain address. He said the restaurant was still standing and open, which caused some raised eyebrows, but after a shrug, Steve agreed. Sure enough, they all met together, Tony with Thor and Bruce, and Steve with the 2 Shield agents. 

“It’s...not bad?” Clint tried to say as they all took their first bites of the middle eastern cuisine. 

Steve was too hungry to care. He ignored the disgusted look Natasha was giving him and stuffed his face. 

Tony laughed from where he sat next to Steve, holding his stomach. “I think Steve likes it.”

“Wha?!” Steve said defensively with a full mouth. Once he swallowed, he continued to speak. “Super soldiers have to eat too!”  

“I agree with the Captain. This is rather appetizing! Great choice man of iron.” Thor slapped Tony on the back, making the smaller man lurch forward into the table. 

“Thanks-” Tony squeaked, trying to get the wind back that was knocked out of him. 

Once Tony, Thor and Steve were finally able to break the awkward tension, everyone started talking more and more. Thor shared some tales of him battling something called a bilgesnipe while Clint and Nat told them about some of the most ridiculous missions they have had. Bruce even contributed, talking about his work in the middle east as a doctor and some of the amazing people he met while he was there. He said that he needed to go back there to finish tying up some loose ends, then was considering coming back for a visit. Steve didn’t want to be pushy, but he was curious and asked Bruce’s opinion about the team. The scientist didn’t seem too opposed to it; he just wanted to have some time to consider the immense opportunity. 

“So what now? Living...wise?” Clint asked when the conversation started to die down.

Everyone gave a small look to Tony who was leaning back in his chair, lazily looking at his phone. “Um, nothing much really. I mean, whoever is an Avenger has full housing at the tower. Legolas and Hot Tamale’s floor is still fine. I’m looking at Javis’ scans right now and the tower is pretty much normal, except the penthouse which is destroyed along with Steve’s floor.” 

“That...might’ve been the Hulk. I’m sorry-” 

Bruce started to apologize as he rubbed the back of his head in shame, but Tony waved his hand. “Bruce, the most you did was make a Loki shaped hole in the floor, which I’d rather have than having Rock of Ages on the run. Most of the damage was from the aliens on the roof and one of the ships crashed straight into Steve’s living room. And two other floors were crashed into.” 

“Oh, ok. Where are you gonna stay then?” Nat said, eating the last bite of her food. 

Tony shrugged. “There’s one other living style floor Steve could take. I’ll have to see where I can stay though. Maybe-”

“You could stay with me.”

That was bad. That was really bad. Steve internally punched himself. Who was he? A love sick teenager? His outburst had sounded so desperate, but not only that, he hadn’t even let Tony finish. The idea had come to him so fast, causing a sense of eagerness to take over. The scene in his head was so cool. He would stay calm and collected, casually suggesting the idea, playing the macho man like Bucky had always done. But of course, this was Steve. He could only be so much like Bucky until his true Steve-ness came out. Like a giant...excited puppy. 

Tony just stared at him, eyes wide, just like the rest of the team. In the corner of his eye, Steve could see Clint smile devilishly and whisper something into Natasha’s ear. He was just about to get up and run, when Tony let out a loud laugh, swatting the back of his hand against Steve’s arm. 

“I was kind of hoping you’d say that. I didn’t want to be pushy, but it was either that or I sleep on the couches in the lobby.” 

A doopy smile made its way to Steve’s face as he looked up, feeling very much relieved. Clint shook his head and laughed as Natasha glared and smacked him. 

“I would just like to say, I do love how accepting and diverse your planet is.” Everyone looked to Thor with a questioning look, but he only smiled brightly. “On Asgard, they are not as accepting as you are here.”

“What do you mean, Thor?” Bruce was the one to finally ask. 

“I just love how cute of a couple the Man of Iron and Captain are and how accepting you all are of it.” 

Clint shrieked. He full on shrieked as he flung himself onto the floor. Natasha started choking as did Bruce too. Steve felt like he could die. He could curl up on the floor right there and die. The heat on his face was too unbearable and no matter of covering his face could hide it. He didn’t even want to look at Tony. He could only hear the man next to him as he groaned. 

“Thor...Thor, no. I’m- I’m so glad you respect that...idea, but Steve and I are just friends,” Tony’s voice said shakily. 

“Oh, yeah, Thor. They’re really good friends.”

“Shut up, Clint. You sound like a monkey!” Tony growled as Clint continued his ‘monkey’ laugh under the table.

“Oh, oh dear. I apologize. I guess my observations were wrong,” Thor laughed nervously and Steve finally lowered his hands. He leaned back in his chair to stare at the cracked ceiling before finally looking at the team. Natasha was trying to heft Clint back up from the floor. Bruce was putting all of his attention into his drink, and Tony was hiding his face into his arms on the table. 

“Okay, on that note,” Natasha said with a sigh. She began to stand up and stretched her arm. 

Steve didn’t really talk to Tony after that. The sun was starting to set as the team met near the park to send Loki off. In a flash of light that beamed from the sky, the 2 gods vanished back to their home world. All of the heroes and agents that were stationed there released a breath of relief. Bruce bid them farewell to head back to the middle east to finish his work, and the rest of them started to head back to the tower. Fury congratulated each of them, thanking them for their work. They were free to take as much time as they needed to but were also invited to help in cleaning up and rebuilding. 

Shield drove them back to the tower, and as soon as they got back, they were ready to collapse. Nat and Clint went to their floor, the only one with 2 bedrooms, while Steve and Tony went to the only stable floor left. They were both in a comfortable silence, until Tony rolled his shoulders, making a pained face. 

“You sore?” Steve asked, having felt his own soreness dissipate during lunch. 

“Oh, nah, not at all. I feel like a spring chicken,” Tony groaned as the elevator opened. It revealed a similarly set up room like Steve’s old one, but this was decorated with blues and dark browns. There were some green plants that gave it a homey feel. “You wanna take a shower first...or…?”

“No, you can first. Would it be ok if I...find a snack in the-uh kitchen?”

Tony chuckled as he headed off to the bedroom. “Sure thing, cookie monster.”

“What does that mean? Super human metabolism, remember?” Steve called, but Tony was already disappearing into the other room. 

After a quick fridge raid, Steve was able to find several protein bars and some lunch meat. Being a super soldier meant that he was constantly hungry. So, the shawarma was definitely good, but that was several hours ago. He sat at the counter before deciding to go check on Tony, as it had already been a half hour. With the last bar hand, Steve walked across the cream colored carpet to the bedroom. The door was cracked, so Steve took it as the genius was done. Peeking his head in, Steve almost swallowed the protein bar that sat in his mouth whole. Tony was sitting on the bed, fully naked. He had a towel around his waist of course, but his entire body was on display. One of his long tan legs was bent up as he rubbed lotion into the shiny, olive skin. His hair was still partially wet, glistening in the light from the bathroom. The arc reactor gave his body a bluish glow that highlighted the sharpness of his muscles and glisten of the remaining water droplets. His goatee was looking freshly shaved and sharpened as it curved around his mouth gorgeously. 

Steve’s stomach dropped, and he started to feel...weird. That feeling again. He had to think of a better name for this feeling. Anyway, they came back but were darker this time. Something shameful started to corrupt Steve’s cravings, and he felt so embarrassed. No matter how hard he tried, though, he couldn't stop staring. The way Tony cocked his head, massaging his calf and biting his lip. It made the dark feeling grow and what could be described as primal instincts wanted to take over. He wanted nothing more than to act on them, but he couldn’t. That was so wrong, in so many ways. This was Tony, and he was Steve . Wholesome, 40’s Steve, who would never do...whatever his instincts were telling him right then. 

Thankfully, Tony finished and stood up with a groan. He went to the closet on the other side of the room, and Steve was so thankful that he didn’t get to see anything more. 

“Steve! Shower’s ready!”

His heart seized as he tiptoed back down the hallway to yell an ‘okay’ back, making it sound like he was as far away as possible. When he came back into the room, Tony was still in the closet, but of course the door was still cracked. Steve, unable to restrain himself, stole another peek as he casually walked by. Fortunately, Tony was pulling on a tank top and already had on a pair of shorts. Sadly though, he made eye contact with Steve, and the soldier felt his chest drop and face heat up. He was caught. He was a caught, red handed, peeping tom. 

“Oh, hey! Shower’s ready. Sorry I took so long,” Tony said with a smile. He went to open the closet door all the way, revealing a fully stocked wardrobe. “I had some employees take our clothes from upstairs to here while we were sending Reindeer games off. They said pretty much all of it was salvageable, so thankfully all that shopping wasn’t for nothing.”

“Oh, wow,” Steve said, trying to force his blush to stop it’s spread. “T-Thank you.” 

Tony closed his eyes, giving Steve a wide smile, before he turned back around. The pale blue towel he had on before was laying discarded on the floor. Steve watched, frozen in place, as Tony casually bent over to pick it up, thinking Steve had already gone into the bathroom. Shame fully took hold of Steve as he realised that he was staring at Tony's...you know what. In those tiny, blue basketball shorts. Steve stifled his groan, running into the bathroom, and closing the door. 

He leaned against it, praying Tony hadn't heard him. Whatever this was, apparently it wasn't going to go away. This feeling that he always got when he saw, thought, or was near Tony was here to stay. Steve knew what it was. He had known ever since he almost lost Tony to that portal. He'd have to talk to Daliah about this. 

The shower felt amazing on Steve's exhausted body. He appreciated the intense water pressure so much that he thought he would cry. After a long decontamination, Steve felt more than ready for bed. His blue towel that Tony had left for him soaked up each and every water droplet before he stared at himself in the mirror. He was due for another shave and his hair was growing a little too long for his liking. It looked like an overgrown wheat field accompanied by his scrappy looking scruff. Deciding against it as his exhaustion won the debate, he wrapped the towel around his waist and cracked the door open to see where Tony was. 

The genius was laying on the bed on his stomach. He was playing on a tablet, totally engrossed. The bed faced the bathroom head on and all the soldier could do was stare at what was in front of him. Immediately, he whipped back into the bathroom, so Tony wouldn't notice and closed the door. He tried so hard to think of something else, anything, but all that burned into his mind was the view of Tony's...you know what!! Steve panicked when he felt himself physically react to the image. He was mortified, trying to think of anything nasty that came to mind. He thought of cold things, gross stuff, and anything that would turn one off. 

Finally, his problem was fixed enough to exit the safety of the bathroom, and slipped into the bedroom. He grabbed some boxers and sleep pants from the closet and walked towards the bed. The tablet was still on, the only light on in the room except for the small yellow lamp on the nightstand. Tony was still laying on his stomach, asleep, in the middle of the king sized bed, face sideways on the pillow, squished against it. It was really adorable, giving Steve a bright smile. 

Then, his relaxed face morphed into one of displeasure. His eyebrows turned downward along with the corners of his mouth. The hand that was laying near his face grasped the blanket as his leg kicked the bed. Steve watched, feeling only slightly creepy. He figured that Tony was just dreaming, but when he turned to turn off the lamp, Tony let out a pained moan and began to thrash. Steve stared, concern turning into anxiety as Tony started to plead. 

His voice sounded small, scared and desperate as he called out for 'it to stop', for 'someone to help', and even said 'please'. His thrashing grew more and more violent, but what caused Steve to finally go into action was the tears that fell from Tony's sealed eyes. This wasn’t just any dream or nightmare; he was having a night terror. 

"Tony, hey, Tones, it's Steve. You gotta wake up." Steve reached a hand out and lightly rubbed his arm. Tony only tried to slap it away as he cried out. This was bad, really really bad. Climbing onto the bed, Steve began to lightly shake Tony’s shoulders, turning him onto his back. He leaned closer, raising his voice. “Tony. It’s me, Steve. It’s just a dream. You’re-”

Before he could finish, Tony cried out louder, suddenly swinging a fist to Steve’s face. The punch came full force without any restraint. Steve took it, feeling his left cheek sting immediately. He released Tony’s shoulders out of instinct to cradle his face. The pain in the genius’ hand must have woken him up, as he stared at Steve with terror filled eyes. The terror started to overfill them as tears started to pour out silently. Tony’s sat up, staring helplessly as he gaped at Steve. The uninjured hand came up to cover his mouth, shaking like a leaf in the wind. Little bits of words tried to break out of Tony’s mouth, but he seemed to not even be able to form a complete sentence. Shaking his head, Tony started to scoot over to the other side of the bed, attempting to get to the bathroom. Steve was not taking that; if you punch him, you don’t run away.

Gently, he grabbed Tony’s upper arm in a grip that was hard enough to prevent him from breaking it and pulled him back. 

“I-I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t, I couldn’t-”

Steve made a shushing sound as he brought Tony into the crevice of his chest. He sat crossing his legs with Tony in the middle, sitting sideways. Tony dropped his head in shame, but allowed himself to be pressed against Steve. Steve sat quietly, one arm wrapped around Tony’s body, rubbing his shoulder, the other buried in his curls. The silence only lasted a few seconds, as it was interrupted with a stampede of dramatic sobs. Tony’s body was still shivering as he cried into Steve’s chest, his hurt hand cradled against his own chest and the other clawing into Steve’s bicep. Every cry felt like a stab into Steve’s heart, each full of pain and utter terror. After what felt like 20 minutes, Tony started to finally quiet down, still crying. That was when Steve got an idea. He recalled a foggy memory of one night when he was a child. He would sit in his mother’s lap after an awful asthma attack and she would hum a song that always seemed to calm him. So, to combat the small cries, Steve began to hum a quiet tune of You Are My Sunshine. Tony seemed to tense at the start but soon relaxed. Steve felt a soft smile grow on his lips as Tony started to breathe clearer and stopped sobbing. Slowly, Steve leaned back, falling onto the pillows with Tony laying half on his chest and arm. He seemed to not mind that, letting it happen. 

Steve lay there, staring at the ceiling, humming softly as Tony began to trace something into his pec. At first he thought it was a message but it seemed to be strange symbols. Tony was drawing equations into Steve’s skin. Smiling, Steve rubbed Tony’s side as he knew that his attempts to calm him were working. The shaking had just about stopped and so had the tears. 

“It...it was the portal. I was back up there, but I didn’t make it back here. And they were gonna...get all of you. They were gonna kill you.” Tony’s voice was only a rough whisper, but Steve understood every word. “I couldn’t win. I couldn’t get to you.”

“It’s ok.” Steve whispered back. “I’m right here. We are all safe, and they aren’t coming back.”

A moment of silence.

“I’m sorry I punched you,” Tony mumbled as he sniffed pathetically.

Steve chuckled wetly feeling his own tears prick the corners of his eyes. “I feel worse for your hand. Can I see it?”

Without looking up, Tony raised his right hand, which had black and blue knuckles. Steve grimaced as he held it gently in his own. 

“Is it okay if I get up to get some ice?” 

Tony nodded, and Steve waited for him to sit up to slip off to the kitchen. He retrieved some tape he found from digging into some drawers and an ice pack from the freezer. He came back into the room to find Tony sitting on the bed, head down, staring at his damaged hand. Steve kneeled in front of him, silently taking the appendage, and wrapping it with the ice. He leaned forward, giving Tony another hug. They sat like that for a long time, before Tony broke free, asking to go to sleep. 

It wasn’t until 2 in the morning that the two of them finally laid down to go to sleep. Steve held Tony protectively the rest of the night, acting as an armor against any other nightmares.

Chapter Text

Tony

Tony had never been MORE embarrassed in his life. The night after the battle of New York, Tony had the most vivid night terror. He had passed out before Steve was out of the shower and was totally consumed by his subconscious. It was almost as bad as the dreams he got after Afghanistan. What woke him up was a sudden horrible pain in his hand. He opened his eyes to see Steve holding his red cheek after trying to wake Tony up. Out of shame, he tried to get to the bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere that wasn’t that bed. This happened once before, when he was dating Pepper. Except that time, he tried to apologize, but she was the one who left the bedroom to go sleep in the living room. Of course, the morning after they both apologized and worked it out, Tony had just scared Pepper terribly. That feeling from that other night, though, struck Tony again as he saw what he had done. Again. He tried to run away, but Steve grabbed his arm, pulling back onto the bed. 

The rest of the night was...weird to say the least. It was weirdly comforting. Steve held Tony like a china doll, trying anything to calm down his disgusting breakdown full of sobbing, tears and snot. Tony grimised violently thinking back to it. Steve, however, was incredible. He acted like it was all normal. Holding Tony carefully, wrapping his hand, humming comfortingly, and even cuddling with him afterwards. Even the days after that night, no matter how hard he tried to avoid Steve, the soldier always managed to find him. He was so...disturbingly nice and kind to Tony; it was so strange. 

The rest of the week was pretty normal though. Tony met with the contractors a few times to renovate the tower. Of course it was a slow process though. Tony wanted them to help with the city before they did anything major to his tower. He hated when people used their money and power to push others to the back of the line. They were able to make the tower stable by the end of the week, planning to finish working on the damaged floors and top half in the next coming weeks. No matter how much Tony pushed, they still requested to do it as soon as possible as a thanks for saving the world. It took a lot of convincing, but Tony finally agreed to have the tower be complete within the next 2 weeks. That meant another 2 weeks with Steve. 

Tony would never admit it, but he was so relieved for that. The nightmares were still violent, but Steve was always there to wake him up and...help him. No matter how embarrassed Tony was, Steve was always calm and reassured him not to feel ashamed. It was incredible how little judgement this man held. No matter how harsh the nightmare was, or how Tony reacted, Steve was always there. 

Besides that, the 2 of them with Natasha and Clint worked on cleaning up and rebuilding the city. It was going rather smoothly, they would help as much as they could while also having regular training sessions. Most of the sessions had Tony in the workshop though, trying to fix his horribly mangled suit, but he would join the team usually to keep up his stamina. Between tower renovations, training, clean up, and Stark Industries, Tony was as busy as could be. 

Steve’s schedule was just as busy from what Tony could see. He was a giant part in clean up and search and rescue and training sessions. He would also regularly visit Peggy in the home while seeing his therapist as well. The only time they saw each other casually, was at night when both were too exhausted to stay standing. 

It took about a week and a half of this schedule before they finally gained some free time. The city had most of their clean up done, the rest was up to construction companies and workers. Tony’s suit was back and better than ever, though it took longer than expected thanks to his busted hand. 

That was when Tony realized Steve’s...strange behavior, well, stranger behavior. He was growing more and more attached to Tony, choosing to spar with him more, cook for him, and even sat in the workshop to ‘hang out’. Of course they were close before the battle, but now it was starting to get creepy. Tony even tested it one day. 

Clint had a habit of hiding in the vents of the tower, which was perfect. Together, the archer and engineer crawled into the vents near the common floor. This was the foor with the largest kitchen and living room which was practically a movie theater. Usually, you could find anyone here, as Natasha was sitting at the kitchen counter, reading a book with a cup of coffee, 100% aware of the 2 man children hiding above her. The constant shifting and giggling was probably a give away. 

“I’m telling you, he’s always looking for me. And he’s acting weird. It’s gotta be an alien Steve. I swear,” Tony whispered to Clint who shook his head. 

“Dude, I’m telling you that it’s all in your head. He’s always been like this. But as I said a hundred times, I have a bet going so I can’t tell you my opinion.”

Tony groaned, letting his head fall into his arms. “I hate you. If it’s a bet that Steve likes me, you’re gonna lose all your cash. There’s no way in hell that he isn’t straight.” 

Clint just sighed, looking down through the grate. “Oh! Shut up! Here he comes.”

The elevator opened and Steve stepped out. He just came back from visiting Dr. Emem and going for a jog. The sweat was still shining off of his arms and neck, the skin tight t shirt was soaked, looking like it was painted on, and Tony felt his face burn in shame. Everytime the man returned from a workout, Tony couldn’t take his eyes off of him. Pepper was so right; Steve was 100% Tony’s type on the male side. He went to the fridge after greeting Natasha. One long swig from a protein shake later, he walked over to Natasha and began to talk about her book. 

“Also, do you happen to know where Tony is now?” 

Tony slapped Clint’s arm, making a ‘told you so’ face. Clint only made a ‘so what?’ face back before tuning back in.

“I actually heard he was going to lunch with someone,” Natasha said, hiding a smirk in the page she was on. 

Steve’s face dropped. What looked like anger passed over it, before he plastered on a smile. “W-Oh. That’s...nice. Do you know who? Just curious.”

“Oh, some dude he met in the coffee shop. I saw him actually. Blond hair, really tall. Muscles like you wouldn’t believe.”

Steve looked as if he could  burst into flames any second. Tony had no idea in the slightest of what Natasha was talking about. The last date he was on was with Pepper. 

“Great, cool. I’ll be in my room-”

“Steve,” Natash called out, laughing, putting the book down. “I was just kidding. I have no idea where he is.” 

Steve stopped in his tracks, turning around, face as red as a fire truck. He started to laugh nervously. “Oh, wow, Nat. Nice one. You got me. Ha, ha.” 

“But, Steve, are you ok? Do you wanna talk some more?”

Tony leaned closer, trying to hear what they were saying. His heart was pounding harder and harder. This was it, this was where Tony’s heart would either get crushed or swept off its feet. He feared the former option greatly, but knew it was the most logical one.  His hands shook slightly as they gripped the metal edges of the vent. He might have gripped too hard, though, as suddenly, his hand slipped. It fell right onto the middle of the vent, but the damn thing was too loose. It gave way, falling to the super soldier below. Steve’s blue eyes flew up and luckily his super soldier reaction time was quick enough to dodge the metal as it clattered to the floor. Of course that wasn’t the end of it. Without the support of his hand, Tony felt his body lean forward and he began to plummet from the opening head first. 

With a rather unmanly yelp, Tony closed his eyes tight and covered his face, preparing for a rather rough impact with the floor. Of course though, that never happened. A hand grabbed his ankle and yanked his body back into the air. Tony’s eyes flew open as he watched as Steve caught him, turning him so his he wasn’t faced first with the floor. It all happened in such a rush, that Tony couldn’t describe it if he tried to. One second he was heading face first towards the ground and the next, he was being held in Steve’s arms, bridal style, arms clutching Steve’s neck out of instinct. 

Natasha sat with her book, smiling and shaking her head, as Clint laughed hysterically from above. Steve stared down at Tony, wide eyed and silent while Tony stared awkwardly at the wall, silent as well. 

“Oh...oh my gosh, Tony, I can’t-” Clint said between laughs. “Can’t breathe.”

“Wow...Wow, how did-?” Tony said after clearing his throat. “How’d that happen? That was...so weird…” Tony stole a glance at Steve before continuing to mumble quietly. “Fell from the ceiling...weird. Hmm.”

Steve’s shocked expression turned quizzical but with a playful undertone. The fear of Steve’s anger vanished in Tony as he saw the expression. He was afraid that the soldier would be mad at the spying and invasion of privacy, but he seemed to find it amusing. 

“Well, thanks, Natasha. Are we still on for movie night tonight?” 

Steve seemed to completely ignore Tony now, looking to the red head. “Yeah, sure. I’m down.”

“I’ll be there!” Clint’s voice rang from the vents overhead. 

“Alright, cool. I’ll see you later then.” 

With that, the soldier began to turn around and walk towards the elevator. 

“Wait! Hey! No! Where are we going?  Why are you still holding me?” Steve ignored Tony’s questions and thrashing, as he entered the elevator casually and pressed the button for their floor. 

Yes, they still stayed on the same floor. The rest of the tower was done and ready to go, except decorations and moving back to their own rooms. Steve hadn’t made any action to move to his own room and neither had Tony. Neither of the men had even brought it up. Secretly, to Tony, the idea of sleeping in an empty bed, alone with his nightmares, was not something Tony was looking forward to. He didn’t want to be selfish or make Steve feel like he had to stay with Tony, but it definitely was helping him. And Steve hadn’t said anything, even after Tony said multiple times that all they had to do was furnish their rooms and then they could go back to their own quarters, but Steve never acted on it. He seemed just as comfortable with their current set up as Tony was. 

The more he thought about it, the more confused he became. 

“Put me down! Right now!” Tony punched Steve’s chest and arms, but they didn’t even budge. Steve stared ahead at the closing elevator doors with a determined look on his face. Tony looked back, seeing Natasha smirk at him, her green eyes shining. “Natasha! Do something!” 

He only saw her shrug as the doors closed, trapping Tony inside. He grit his teeth and crossed his arms in rebellion. The pout on his lips must have triggered Steve’s chest to shake with laughter as Tony started to jolt up and down as well. Glancing upwards, he stared in shock as the soldier chuckled uncontrollably. 

“Oh, oh gosh, I’m sorry-”

“You should be! This is kidnapping, you know,” Tony grumbled as the elevator doors opened to their floor. 

“I just can’t get the image of you falling from the ceiling out of my head. Your face-” Steve tried to finish the sentence but was laughing too hard for that. He was practically crying as his legs were giving out. Tony couldn’t maintain his poker face as Steve slid down the elevator wall, too weakened by his laughing fit to hold both Tony and himself up. 

Tony recalled the initial panic he felt as he fell and thought back to everyone’s wide eyes at seeing him plummet from the vents. Thinking of Steve’s specifically, Tony couldn’t even hold a hint of his pout any longer. He burst into his own giggles, sitting on the floor between Steve’s knees. He gripped one of them for stability, feeling Steve grab one of his own shoulders. They sat like that for a while before the laughter slowly died out. Tony wiped his eyes, no longer hearing Steve’s laugh. He looked up to see the blond staring at him. It wasn’t a creepy stare but a warm one. His eyes sparkled like the ocean in the sun or something cheesy like that as he stared at Tony with a smile on his lips. Something seemed to snap in him as he was thrown back into reality, shaking his head, and averting his gaze while rubbing his neck. 

Tony snorted. “Kidnapper.”

Steve looked up, gaping at him. There was a faint blush present on his pale cheeks that seemed to make Tony’s stomach flip. “Am not. This is just payback for eavesdropping.”

Searching for an answer in his head, Tony could only open and close his mouth, trying to force something out. 

“Fine. You wanna see a kidnapper.” 

That seemed to really make Tony’s stomach flip watching Steve’s face darken in a strange way. He smirked, eyes darkening as he made a move to lunge forward. Tony released an embarrassing yelp as he kicked Steve in the chest, scrambling from the elevator. He pushed both of his palms against the carpet to propel himself from the carpet and onto his feet. With the intention to head to the bedroom, Tony turned left, but an arm interrupted his get away. It latched around his stomach, raising him into the air. 

Steve imitated an evil laugh, head turned upwards and free hand raised towards the ceiling. “Victory!”

“Syke!” Tony bent his knees so his feet were pressed against Steve’s abdomen where Tony was pinned. He used his legs to pry himself from the arm, launching himself into the air towards the living room. He needed the high ground. And he needed it fast. Using Steve’s disorientation to his advantage, he sprinted over to the large couch. Once he stood atop the tall cushions, he planted his hands over his hips and imitated a hero like laugh. Steve stopped in his pursuit, staring up at him with narrowed eyes. “I have the high ground now Anakin! What are you gonna do now, huh?”

Smirking evilly, Steve ran over to one of the love seats, grabbing a large navy pillow. Tony acted immediately, seeing straight through his plan. He bent down, grabbing one of the smaller grey pillows and throwing it in Steve’s direction. It would have hit it’s target if the super soldier hadn’t tucked and rolled across the carpet. Skillfully, Steve launched himself forward in a zig zag like pattern, catching Tony off guard. Tony couldn’t help the gasp that escaped him as he watched Steve leap into the air with amazing force. The pillow connected with Tony’s cheek, knocking him ‘out cold’, over the arm of the couch. 

“Oh, I am slain,” he said in a dramatic voice, arm falling over his eyes. 

“How sweet victory is,” Steve said, eyes closed and fist in the air as he stood triumphantly on the couch.  

Tony laughed, peaking over his forearm at his friend. Steve disembarked from the couch, offering Tony a hand. Grabbing it, Tony matched Steve’s smile with his own. 

His smile soon turned into a grimace, though, as Tony looked at Steve again, remembering what he was covered in. “Gross, don’t you think you should take a shower?”

With a shake of his head, Steve looked at Tony with another warm smile. “Yeah, yeah I know, genius.” 

He paused, face glowing with a light pink shade. 

“I actually wanted to ask you something. Since you owe me now for spying on me,” Steve said as he waved a hand at Tony who opened his mouth for a retort. “I have some more free time on my hands and I wanted to get some art supplies. But being 90 years old, I don’t know where to go.”

“Oh, oh, I see. You still want me to be one of your french girls.” Tony said smoothly, popping out his hip and tilting his head back.  “I’d love to get you some tools in that case.”

Steve blushed with a defiant look on his face. “Wha- No! I mean, yes, you are a fine subject, but in general, I’d like to get back into drawing-”

“Yeah, yeah, sure Stevie. No need to deny it.” As Tony spoke, he dragged Steve to the bedroom. “As long as you take a shower, I’ll help you buy some paper and pose for you.”

Tony smirked playfully as he looked behind to see Steve staring at him wide eyed. 

Once Steve was shoved into the shower, Tony got dressed and the two prepared for a trip in the city. They both wore casual clothes with Steve in a baseball hat and Tony put his hood up with sunglasses. Hopefully they could go to the store, grab what they needed, and get back home without being noticed. Ever since Loki, the heros were subject to fans everywhere. Tony was used to it by now, the pictures, attention and press, but poor Steve was new to this. He had always been in the limelight, but this was a new type. It was definitely more aggressive and harder to avoid. 

Winter was just around the corner, so they bundled up and started up the street to Michaels. The trip was pretty short but quite freezing. As soon as they entered, Steve looked like a kid in a candy store. His blue eyes lit up as his mouth hung open. Tony could barely keep up with Steve as he swept the store with incredible speed. The engineer had to watch carefully though, at what Steve was looking at. Thanks to the fact that he wore his emotions straight on his sleeve, Tony could see when Steve really liked something but didn’t put it into the cart. Steve, being the conservative idiot he was, was only buying the minimum. So, with an annoyed look on his face, Tony slowly followed the soldier though the isles, putting in whatever items Steve had picked up but put back down. He mostly got pencils, paper and sketching tools. There were some paints, but Tony could tell what method he favored.

While Steve got lost in which type of paper to get, Tony began to let his thoughts wander. He knew he liked Steve, that was a fact he was tired of denying. Pepper was 100 percent correct when she said Steve was his type. He was opposite enough to Tony to balance him out, but he was also similar in the way where they could get along amazingly. More so than anyone else in Tony’s past relationships. Steve was the perfect person to have a fun time with while also keeping Tony in line. Tony bit his lip at these thoughts, he knew they were wrong; he shouldn’t be thinking this about his friend, his obviously very straight friend, but part of him couldn't help it. Not with the way Steve would tease him, look at him, smile at him, laugh with him, and constantly ask about him. Of course he was suspicious, there was always that constant, stupid hope that lingered in this chest. Speculating would lead to disaster though. Tony always was a horrible judge of character. 

This was getting very old for him, he was so tired of lacking answers and being stuck in the unknown. Did Steve like him or not? What if he didn’t? And if Tony made a move and he was wrong, how would Steve react? Would he be understanding like he usually is, or since it involves him personally, would he be angry or disturbed? They had such a good friendship going, what if Tony ruined that with his stupid feelings? All these questions purged his mind, making him groan, smacking his forehead against the handle of the cart. 

He was so used to being so smooth and flawless with his flirting, why must Steve be so difficult? Usually, taking the first move was Tony’s expertise, but with this man, he was so unsure of everything and anxious. Suddenly, the idea of sleeping in the same bed as him began to become something to dread. With these thoughts, he was starting to feel uncomfortable with the situation. Steve was sweet, innocent and didn’t deserve to be subject to Tony’s...destructive tendencies. Or to be held hostage as a body guard against his stupid night terrors. They had been getting increasingly better, but that didn’t mean Tony would be able to sleep alone with them. He was willing to go through them alone though, if that meant Steve didn’t have to feel suffocated by his...bi-ness. 

Huffing out his breath at his final decision, Tony looked up to see Steve had vanished. Great, take your eyes off the dude for less than a minute and poof, he’s gone. He pushed the cart through the store, spotting Steve in the picture frame aisle. He was looking at the cover picture of 2 men, smiling at the camera. One with his arm around the other’s shoulder. The frame was .black with cursive writing on the bottom that said “Love”. Tony would applaud Michael’s ability to display all types of love, but instead he chose to analyze Steve’s face. He was looking at the picture with an expression of curiosity. At least it wasn’t disgust. No matter how many times Steve showed him that he was accepting, Tony couldn’t help the little voice in his head that was responsible for all the doubts in his life. 

“You ready, Da Vinci?” 

Steve looked up at him startled. For s super soldier with heightened senses, he could be pretty oblivious to his surroundings. “Oh, yeah, I’m done.” 

He put the frame down and led Tony to the registers.

“Tony, you know I didn’t pick like...half of the things here,” Steve whispered as the cashier started scanning. 

“Uh, yeah you did. You picked it up, made that face you always make, and then put it down.”

“Yeah, because I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of you,” Steve snapped, using a harsh tone as Tony smirked. “It’s great that you’re a billionaire, but that doesn’t mean you have to buy friends, or me.”

“I know. But if you’re gonna draw me, then you gotta have all the right stuff. It better not be crappy.”

Steve shook his head with a smile. “Thank you, Tones.” 

Tony didn’t dare look up, because he knew that Steve was giving him the look right then. The look he would give those art tools that he wanted but felt like he couldn’t have. If Tony looked up, he would have a permanent blush for the rest of the night. “Whatever, Spangles.”

With 2 bags each, the men walked home, running the last block as they were excited to get into the warmth of the tower. By the time they got upstairs, put the bags down, and got dressed into comfy clothes, it was time for movie night. Fury had messaged Steve and the team a few hours ago saying that Thor was back. He was meeting with Fury for about an hour about Loki and to wrap stuff up, and then he could come to the tower to visit. It was official that Thor was going to be a member of the team, and everyone was buzzing with excitement. Thor had a floor all set for him ever since the tower was renovated, as Tony figured he would be coming back. He would be arriving around the time they were going to start movie night. 

“Race you!” Suddenly, Steve ran from the room yelling excitedly. Tony gaped in confusion as the soldier ran to the elevators to get to the communal floor. 

“No you don’t!” 

Tony sprinted to the stairwell, still pulling on his last sock. As Steve waited for the stupid elevator, Tony would be far ahead of him. It was only 2 floors above them, so he could make it. What Tony didn’t expect was Steve to burst into the hall right after him. The genius felt a cold sweat coat his forehead as he took 2 steps at a time, climbing the stairs as fast as he could. Steve was laughing as he seemed to take 5 at a time, gaining fast. 

He was so close, the door was right there, but just as he came to the last few steps, he saw a blur of Steve fly by him. Determination suddenly flooded his body, even though this was the most childish and stupid game, as Tony reached forward, grabbing Steve’s ankle and pulling. The soldier came toppling down onto the platform right in front of the door. Tony laughed maniacally as he tasted success. He jumped over Steve and opened the door. Sadly, he only was able to take one step onto the cream colored carpet before Steve hooked his own hand around Tony’s ankle, making him plummet. 

“No! I still win! I made it into the room first!” Tony yelled as he tried to kick Steve’s hand off of him. 

“Well I was the first on the floor!” Steve yelled from the stairwell. 

"Again girls, you both are pretty. Come over here, already." Natasha spoke with a tired tone, sounding like a parent as Clint snickered.

Tony rolled his eyes, seeing them sitting on the barstools in the kitchen. They had 3 bowls of fresh popcorn in front of them accompanied by some bottles of soda and candy. The smell was strong in Tony’s nose, making him feel like he could already taste the buttery, salty snack. These were the perfect ingredients for a movie night, and Tony had never been more excited. Sure, he had watched movies and binged with Pepper and Rhodey, but this was his first group movie night. As a kid and being so young in school, he never had many friends. He was popular, but no one seemed to want to be genuine friends with the smart, rich kid. It was kind of sad that Tony, a man in his 30’s, was anxious for his first movie night with friends, but he was excited nonetheless. Just as he was about to get up, the elevator opened right next to them, revealing a man that seemed to radiate a halo of blinding lights. 

"Greetings, Friends!”

Chapter Text

Steve

Steve was in love. There, he admitted it. He finally confessed it to himself, and it felt amazing. It was such a relief to name this ‘strange feeling’ that he was constantly getting and to know what it was. After New York, Steve and Tony stayed in the same room, and Steve was ashamed to say it, but he loved it. Every night, his nightmares were toned to a dull memory, and he could finally sleep peacefully. He never saw any haunting faces or heard any horrid screams, only Tony’s quiet snoring. The brunette would struggle with nightmares nightly, but Steve was always there to help calm him down so they both could go back to sleep. They always seemed to be about the portal and New York, which saddened Steve. This heroic act would haunt Tony every night for the next few weeks, and he couldn’t do anything to stop them. Thankfully, though, they seemed to calm down after a while.

The days after New York was filled with clean up and search and rescue. It was exhausting with that on top of meetings with Shield, training sessions, and the press. Once their lives finally began to go back to normal, Steve went back to Dr. Daliah about twice a week. New York left him with some troubling dreams and nightmares of Tony falling or losing his friends. She was able to help him with that, thankfully, which then led to a different type of problem. The ‘strange feeling’. He told her all about it, and she understood fully. It took an endless amount of meetings for Steve to get that sorted out. She would tell him that there was nothing wrong with him; he was not perverted, demonized, insane or a creep. The feeling he was getting was indeed something along the line of love. She told him that he didn’t have to call it that, it could be a crush or liking or whatever he wanted, but night after night, and day after day with Tony, Steve knew what it was.

It came to him one night after he settled Tony down after a nightmare. He had gotten up to get a glass of water, and when he returned to bed, Tony was laying on his stomach, looking as peaceful as ever. The tear tracks had been all wiped away, and he seemed at peace. Suddenly, the genius reached to the right, grasping at the sheets on Steve’s side of the bed. He was reaching for Steve in his sleep. In a whirlwind of emotions, Steve could only feel one thing, and that was love. He was in love with Tony.

That night, he ‘slept’ on the couch, or at least tried to. As soon as the clock hit 5 am, he went for a run and then straight to Daliah. In a hurricane of panic, she was able to calm him down and convince him that what he was feeling was ok. They talked for hours about accepting your gut feelings and how unhealthy it was to deny them, to tell yourself the opposite. Steve felt uncomfortable at first, confused as to why he was in love with a man, but after a few more meetings, he began to feel anxious. They talked about the nightmare of a thought: what to do next. Daliah said he could do whatever he felt was right. Just sit by and wait, declare what he felt, act on them (in a healthy manner of course). And that was when Steve told her about courting. It was what Bucky would always do with his dames, just flatter them and shower them in affection until they responded to the actions. Daliah thought it was an amazing idea. She talked to Steve about the situation from Tony's point of view, which made a lot of sense. To see everything in perspective was helpful. Steve knew of Tony’s bisexuality and willingness towards his own gender, but that knowledge was not obvious on the opposite end. Steve hadn’t made his willingness known whatsoever. To Tony, he probably seemed like the straight soldier the media made him to be. Knowing this made it seem all the more difficult. This meant that Steve was probably going to have to be the one to make the first move.

Gathering all of his courage, he approached Natasha. The two of them had grown extremely close and he felt comfortable enough to confide in her for advice. They talked about all of the meetings, and Steve poured everything onto her, unable to hold the walls up any further. He told her all about his revelation about his feelings for Tony, help from Daliah to accept them, and plan for courtship. He recalled the end of the conversation that occured after they had sparred in private.

“...But Nat, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before since...well since Peggy. I’ve gotten to know him so well, and he’s just amazing. The way he overuses his hands when he speaks, scrunches his nose when he doesn’t like something, says a little ‘yay’ when he discovers something as he works, sees the good in every single thing, and listens so well but talks so much. And he’s so kind to everyone no matter the circumstance. He is generous, loving, funny and just amazing in every way. He’s so smart Natasha, and not just like a genius but also in every way. It’s so hard to explain, but I love it. He’s not afraid to say something bluntly, and is always truthful. He knows how to have fun and also how to work hard. He’s so passionate and dedicated to everything in his life, and never gives up. It’s like he’s my perfect opposite, with also being so similar to me. I really like him so so much…” Steve finally finished his love confession and looked up to see Natasha staring at him with a sly smirk. “What?!”

“Oh, nothing. Just that Clint is gonna owe me a lot of money.”

“Nat-”

“Ok, ok, sorry. That is adorable, Steve. I’m so happy to see how far you have come. That’s amazing. So what now? Do you know if Tony likes you back?”

Steve frowned, averting his gaze once again to look down at his wrapped hands. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I’m so nervous. I don’t know what to do next, or if he even likes me like that.”

“Oh, trust me, Steve, listen to me when I say you should go for this. You are perfect for him and just his type.”

“Really?”

Natasha smirked, nodding. “100 percent. Now, what you need to do. Tony is very oblivious. You say he’s smart, which he is, except when it comes to this. He wouldn’t be able to recognize genuine flirting if it hit him like a bag of bricks. So, we have to be obvious without scaring him off. He’s been hurt a lot with previous relationships. People would date him for money, fame, sex, or just to make fun of him to the press or other people. He might not believe you if you aren't careful.”

Nat’s words sunk into Steve and he absorbed them like a sponge. This was important and needed to be handled with expertise. He was scared to death, but so excited. Internally, he was jumping for joy that he was going to finally be a little selfish and go after this with all of him. He wouldn’t take any chances. This would be thought out and genuine, and he was going to give it his all.

“So, what we’re gonna do…”

The next hour and a half was full of explanations and flirting lessons. He was to shower Tony with even more attention, flirtations and give him every sign in the book. She told him about how to casually, but obviously put an arm around someone, how to look at them, speak, things to say, and dozens of other things. Once they were done, Steve felt like he had an arsenal of techniques and was ready to give Tony everything he had.

After a couple more meetings with Daliah, he felt like he was ready. Ready to put himself out there and show vulnerability and to accept any type of response from Tony. Well, he was ready for everything, except for Tony being this oblivious. No matter what he did, nothing was working. The man only blushed adorably, and rubbed it off. Was Tony this insecure about himself? To think that not even he could attract Steve? It even angered Steve slightly to think that Tony was that stereotypical to label Steve to be so incredibly straight, but he knew he had to keep trying and to keep his cool. He wouldn’t give up because Tony wasn’t some person you gave up on.

So he pushed even harder, pulling out every gun in his arsenal. He wouldn’t give up.

One day, Tony literally fell out of the ceiling, into Steve’s arms, and (surprisingly enough) Steve became even more smitten. His heart filled even more with affection as he took Tony back to their room for yet another pillow fight. They fooled around like children for a while longer, before setting out to get some art supplies for Steve. The soldier’s fingers itched way too much. He missed sketching and feeling the relaxed sense he would get from it, but most of all, he wanted to draw Tony. The man always had this presence about him that Steve desperately wanted to get onto paper. He knew he would never be able to capture that essense specifically, but he wanted to try. And to maybe have an excuse to stare at Tony for a long period of time.

There was no denying it, Steve thought Tony was gorgeous. This wasn’t in a friendly bro way, it was genuine. That was one of the thoughts that scared Steve the most. It took awhile for him to accept that and embrace it. He tried to look at magazines of those women celebrities, but none of them gave him the same feeling Tony did. It reminded him of what he used to feel about Peggy. This was scarier, newer and stronger though. It was the same, but also very different. All he could do now, was go with it and trust his gut.

Shopping for art supplies for Steve was like a kid shopping in a candy store. The place was huge with so many different options and varieties of tools. He wanted almost everything in the store, but knew how selfish it was to take advantage of Tony’s wallet. So, trying to be as picky as possible, Steve browsed the isles, grabbing paper and pencils and pastels. It was becoming harder and harder to focus on what he needed as his mind kept daydreaming of what he would draw. Mostly it was a certain brunnette of course. Entering the picture frame aisle, Steve was just wandering at this point. He was just about ready to go back and search for Tony and the cart, when something caught his eye. It was a frame of 2 men and it said Love. He didn’t know why, but he picked it up and stared at it curiously. The world really was more accepting of this.

Finally, Tony dragged Steve out of the store with more supplies than Steve wanted. They went back to the tower, got ready for movie night, and raced up to the communal floor. Steve had some kind of burst of adrenaline and he and Tony, once again, acted like kids as they ran up the stairs, tackling each other.

Steve was actually really excited for this. When he was a kid, he was always too sick to hang out with friends, and the only times he watched movies was by himself or with Bucky. So this was probably his first casual movie night. As soon as they burst through the stairwell, the smell of popcorn hit them, making Steve’s mouth water.

“Greetings, Friends!” A voice boomed from the elevator carrying an ecstatic tone. Yeah, that was definitely Thor. “How are-Anthony! Are you alright?!"

Suddenly, Thor appeared in the doorway dressed in pajama pants and a sweatshirt. It looked kind of strange to see the norse god dressed so casually without his armor. His expression of concern soon turned into confusion as he saw Steve, who was still in the stairwell. The soldier still was holding Tony’s ankle, desperate to win the race still, although Tony was right when he said he entered the room first.

“Friend Steven? What is this? Are you alright?”

Steve felt his face heat up as he finally let go of Tony. “Oh, yeah, we were just racing to see who would get up here first.”

Thor nodded. “Oh, I see. I admire both of your competitive spirits. It seems that Anthony has won though.”

As Steve stood up, he watched as Thor grabbed Tony gently by the arm to help him stand up. “Yeah, of course I won. And Thor, please call me Tony.”

“Oh, yes. My apologies. It is nice to see all of you again!”

“You too, Thor,” Steve laughed as they all walked to the kitchen. “So, what are we watching?”

“Clint wants something Disney,” Natasha said, eating a piece of popcorn.

“Figures." Tony snorted, leaning closer to Steve to get some popcorn. The close proximity caught him off guard, making it impossible to stop the involuntary blush.

“How about Hercules?” Clint said, eyeing Steve with a knowing look.

“A cartoon?” Tony groaned, throwing his head back.

“That sounds like a glorious name of a hero! I would like to see this film!”

At Thor’s comment, Natasha stood up and pointed to the tv. “Alright, it's decided. Movie time.”

And so, each of them gathered the bowls of popcorn and candy and soda and filed to the couches. Clint and Natasha shared the loveseat with Clint sitting comfortably on the arm of the couch and Natasha on the fluffy white cushions. That left the recliner and large black couch. Steve watched as Thor excitedly sat on one end of the couch and Tony took the seat next to him. He was more than happy to take the seat next to Tony who was holding one of the bowls of popcorn for them to share. A spark ran through Steve as he felt his leg brush against Tony’s, who seemed totally unphased by it.

The movie started and it seemed really cute. Steve was unaware of the fact that it was like a musical, but that made it even better. Of course it was hard to focus, though, as Steve was focused on something else. He was trying to gather his courage and wait for the right time to move his arm so it was resting on the back of the couch and, more importantly, Tony’s shoulders. Finally, the man leaned forward to place the empty bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and Steve saw his perfect opportunity. Swiftly, he looked up at the ceiling as he draped his arm behind the two of them as Tony leaned back into the couch. His far shoulder slipped perfectly into Steve’s hand, and he couldn’t help the goofy smile that slipped onto his face. He looked over to Natasha, who was looking at them with a smile and her thumb and index finger forming a ring. Pride and confidence flooded his chest as he took a risky glance at Tony. The man glanced at the hand on his shoulder, and there was a smile on his face. It was soft, but Tony smiled at Steve’s gesture! The soldier felt undeniable giddiness as he turned his eyes back to the animation. The girl was currently singing about how she wouldn’t admit her feelings about the demigod.

Steve was just starting to get absorbed into the movie when Clint interrupted. “You know what? I just noticed something. This character, Hercules, is a lot like Steve.”

That caught him off guard. Everyone turned to look at the archer questionably.

“Right?”

Thor lifted his hand to rub his chin before his eyes lit up with realization. “Oh! I see! This character, he was a weakling before, but he had the spirit of a true hero. And now he has earned the obvious body of a hero! This is quite like our friend Steven!”

The more he thought about it, the more it did make sense. It was kind of funny in a way how this character’s story was quite similar to his own. The body under Steve’s arm started to shake with a chuckle as Tony spoke. “That’s actually pretty accurate. Who knew bird brain could be observant.”

Clint narrowed his eyes but also smiled wildly. “You know what else? I’d also say that the girl, Meg, is like Tony.”

“Oh, now you’ve done it, you little-”

Tony was about to leap from his seat, but was held back by Steve as Clint howled with laughter. Thor suddenly boomed with it as well, slapping his knee.

Once the thunder god caught his breath, he wheezed, “That is also accurate!”

Natasha shook her head, rolling her eyes.

“No it is 100 percent not,” Tony grumbled, crossing his arms and sinking further into the cushions and Steve’s arm.

“Steven is the valiant hero and Anthony is this sassy woman! I see it!” Thor laughed, holding his stomach as Clint wore a smile of victory.

“Told you!”

“I don’t like this movie anymore.” Tony pouted more as he stared straight ahead to the screen.

Steve looked back at the movie, looking as the characters interacted. Tony and this cartoon woman did share some similar personality traits. They were both sassy, confident, and smug. And Steve wasn’t ashamed to admit that he also shared some of Hercules’ traits being strong, a little naive, kind, courageous, and slightly timid. He blushed at the thought. Seeing these 2 characters show obvious chemistry made him wonder if both himself and Tony displayed the same thing so obvious to others. Although this was a cartoon, they seemed to make a perfect fit as a disney prince and princess. Steve’s face only reddened more at the thought of himself and Tony in those roles.

He had to think of something else, quickly. Of course, right at that moment, Steve felt a small weight on his right shoulder. Looking down he could see Tony’s head laying on it casually as he stared at the tv intently. The warmth and weight made the soldier smile. He really liked this feeling.

Then, he looked at Natasha. She was smacking Clint who was trying to shove the rest of the M&M’s into his mouth before she could steal them back. To the right, Steve watched warmly as Thor laughed at some joke from the movie, elbowing Tony to make sure that he also heard it. Tony only grumbled and pushed his hand away. The scene was a heartwarming sight to Steve as he felt himself relax. He had found his home.

Chapter Text

Tony

Tony was confused. And this confusion wasn’t the type that he could plug a formula into and get a concluding, thorough answer from, or the type where he could perform an experiment and get a solid conclusion from. This confusion was people based, aka, the worst kind. It had to do with emotions and interactions and reading people’s behaviors. With a fatigued groan, Tony bumped his head against the steel metal of his desk in frustration. He was currently in his workshop, just doing some finishing touch ups on the suit. It had been rough in the beginning after New York. The suit was busted to a pulp. It looked as if it had gone through an automobile sized garbage disposal. The thrusters were shot and half way melted; both hand repulsor lenses were broken and cracked. The main circuit board had been fried to a crisp while there were multiple breaks in the outer shell itself. It had taken weeks for Tony to extract the main framework from the suit and rebuild it from the ground up. It took countless work binges, but it was practically done. The suit was shinier and stronger than ever; all that was left were some last minute calibrations. As Tony waited for Jarvis to run the tests from his computer, he couldn't help but think back to movie night. 

The way Steve’s leg occasionally brushed against his was enough to make his head explode, so when he felt the warmth of Steve discreetly wrapping an arm around Tony’s shoulder, the genius felt like his entire body could explode. The feeling of how casual the gesture was and how relaxed Steve felt warmed Tony’s heart, and he couldn’t help but lean into it. He wasn’t sure what it meant or if it was meant to be a joke or not (like Steve was the type of person to do that though) but it felt good nonetheless. The movie was cute and better than Tony expected, except for Clint’s awkward comparison. He still felt his face heat up over the thought. Steve as Hercules and Tony as the damsel in distress, please. 

But what did this mean?! As he sat, watching the numbers running, displaying the suit’s data, Tony couldn’t help but sneak a peak at Steve. The soldier had stationed himself on the old green couch in the workshop, like most days, with a pencil and drawing pad in hand. As Tony looked up, he saw Steve’s hand moving fiercely across the paper, and those deep blue eyes were centered right on Tony. A blob of saliva was forced down a dry throat as Tony quickly wiped his head back to the computer. Nerves made their way through his stomach at the embarrassment of getting caught looking at Steve. 

It seemed that despite his ignoring method, the butterflies in his stomach seemed to be multiplying by the dozens. Stupid butterflies. A few days before, he had had a conversation with Natasha that also didn’t seem to help at all. They had been sparring one afternoon when Natasha asked him a question.

“So, are you into Steve?” 

Tony choked, stopped in his tracks, and was rewarded with a swift leg swipe that had him clattering to the floor. “What the hell did you just ask me?”

The redhead only laughed, offering him a hand. “Well, it's very obvious with the way you look at him so longingly.” 

With a heated face, he growled. “Shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Please, Tony. I don’t know what I’m talking about?”

Tony rolled his eyes and turned his back, grabbing a water bottle rather aggressively. “So what if I could like him, if that were a factor in this scenario. He obviously doesn’t swing for my type.”

Natasha ‘tched’ as she walked next to him, taking a seat on the floor. Her well manicured hand patted the mat beside her. “That’s extremely unfair of you, Tony. Judging him by a stereotype.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Yeah his appearance, timeline, and actions may scream straight, but he’s also had a background with girls. Does the name Peggy ring any bells?” With a plop, Tony joined his friend on the floor for their much needed ‘girl talk’. 

“Come on now, what happened to the open minded innovator I knew, huh? Why are you so narrow minded when it comes to this stuff?”

Tony rolled his eyes, suddenly feeling insecure about this topic. “You of all people know why.”

A heavy cloud descended above their heads, as the mood suddenly turned cold. Tony didn’t have enough fingers to count the number of heart to hearts they 2 of them shared about Tony’s previous toxic relationships. His love life was a literal minefield. He had to walk on his tiptoes all the time and it was exhausting. With all of the people out for sex, money and fame, it was hard to even have a sliver of faith in love. 

“Listen, Tony. I know that you know how good I am at reading people,” Nat paused to give Tony a second to try and clear his mind of the looming cloud. “And I see how you and him interact. You guys are great friends, but I can tell, Steve is here for all the right reasons. He gets so annoying with the amount of times he comes up to me, bugging me to tell him where you are. What you are doing. When you will be back.”

Her voice was full of mock annoyance as she vented. Tony couldn’t help the small smile that ran across the corners of his mouth at the image of that scene. 

“It’s obvious that he has a genuine liking to you. And not because he wants anything. I’m sure if he wanted something, it’d be your presence. I know you’ve had a rough time, but Tony, you can’t let that blind you for the rest of your life. It could lead to the loss of an incredible opportunity. I’ve watched Steve for a while, and I don’t think you should close yourself off from this one.” 

Eyes glued to the floor, Tony’s grip on his water bottle tightened. Was that really true? Was he letting his past failures blind his eyes from seeing possibilities that were right in front of him? “Ok, so even if Steve likes me, if I make a move it would run our whole friendship! Imagine if I put myself out there and he hates me.”

“That's another thing I was thinking about, but Tony, you are the closest friend he has and I’m sure you always will  be. Nothing, not even an embarrassing conversation, will damage that. He admires you in ways you can’t even see or imagine. He already knows your sexuality, right?” 

Tony nodded, biting the inside of his cheek as he let his eyes travel from the floor to the far wall. 

“Ok, and he accepted it, right?”

Tony huffed a ‘yeah’.

“Well, there you go. You’ve got nothing to lose.” When she got no answer, Natasha huffed and moved to stand. “All I’m saying is don’t let your past make you afraid of what could come in the future. You don’t have to make a giant confession, no one is pushing for that. Just be observant, watch for the signs. I promise, you’ll know what they are there when you see them. Then you’ll know. He’s a good guy, Tones. Don’t let your stupid insecurities prevent you from such an opportunity for happiness.”

With an outstretched hand, she smirked down at the brunette. 

“Now, come on. Your blocks are rusty.”

Ever since then, Tony didn’t want to read too much into things, but he was beginning to have...thoughts. He wondered if Steve was maybe open to have something more with Tony. Especially after movie night, Tony couldn’t help but wonder. Something inside him seemed to buzz with nerves as he sat with his chin resting in his folded arms at his desk, thinking about this...opportunity. Steve was so gentle, kind, warm, friendly, smart and funny. He was responsible while also not afraid to get loose and have fun. It brought a smile to his face whenever Tony thought back to their pillow fights or races up the stairs. He wasn’t as dry as Tony expected him to be in a conversation, nor was he unwilling to be open minded. Although all of this warmed Tony’s heart and made him secretly crave the soldier’s presence, he couldn’t deny the feeling his heart would give him when he saw Steve in those tight shirts, covered in sweat, and wearing tight sweatpants. The day where Clint and Nat forced Tony to be a test subject to Steve’s flirting was a memory that Tony’s stomach did backflips over. The way he smiled devilishly, with dark glistening eyes, and leaned close to Tony, practically looming over him with those muscles made Tony’s mind wander . He couldn’t help but melt at the thought of something like that happening again. Now that was a side of Steve that was 100 percent unexpected, but Tony was ashamed to say that he didn’t not like it, not at all. 

It was obvious that the 2 of them had chemistry. Natasha was right, if he didn’t drop his insecurities and doubts, he would certainly lose whatever could blossom from this. He looked back over to Steve lazily, watching as his eyes burned through his paper as he stared down at it. A wonder seeped into Tony’s head about what he could be drawing. A spark of excitement lit inside him at the thought of Steve drawing him. Now that would be something. After last night, Tony was starting to lean more and more towards one of the sides on the fence he sat on. He would need just one last push, and then it would be decided. One last sign and he would suck up his doubts and make his move. He wasn’t some wimp; he was the Tony Stark, genius, (previous) playboy, philanthropist and billionaire. It would take more than some feelings to scare him off. So what if Steve declined, claiming to stay on the straight side of the road? Tony would just have to show that he was unattached and unbothered. He would have to show that that would be fine by him, and he could easily move on. Their friendship would remain indifferent and so would their chemistry. 

He just needed one more sign from Steve. Just one. 

--<>--

“Alright, I’m going out!” Tony announced to the team. They were currently all in the kitchen on the common floor hanging out as Steve made breakfast for everyone. Thor was standing next to him at the stove, watching how to make ‘earth food’ curiously while Nat and Clint sat at the counter. 

“Where ya goin?” Clint drawled lazily.

“To get coffee. I ran out of beans from Caterina’s.” Caterina was Tony’s friend who owned a cafe a few blocks down called The Roasted Bean. She was the sweetest old lady who always gave him an extra baked good with some of his purchases. Additionally, she had the best coffee in the entirety of New England. Tony would always buy an extra large bag of beans to last him at home when he wasn’t able to swing by to grab a cup. It was great for the long all-nighters in the workshop and lasted weeks. 

Clint hummed and continued to scroll through whatever social media he was on. 

“Have fun,” Natasha called as she waved, eyes glued to Clint’s phone. 

“Oh, Tony? You’re leaving?” Steve called, looking over his shoulder. 

“You are not joining us to break the fast, Anthony?” Thor asked, holding up a spatula victoriously. 

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll be back in a few.”

“We're still doing dinner tonight, right?” Tony looked over at Steve who was flashing him a heart melting smile. The soldier had asked him to join him for dinner that evening. Thinking of a dinner on the common floor with the rest of the team, Tony agreed happily. It wasn’t until the night before that when he asked Natasha about it, he realized he had been the only one invited. Strict panic stabbed it’s way into Tony’s veins as he realized what this was. He had agreed to a one on one dinner with Steve Rogers. Alone. 

The redhead laughed of course, smacking the back of his head, calling his panic ridiculous. After a warm pep talk, Tony felt nothing but excitement for that night. There were also several nerves, but he pushed them out of his mind. Or tried to. All night he wondered what he would wear, what he should bring, if he should bring anything, if they were going out or staying in, how fancy it would be, and so on. In order to clear his head, get some fresh, yet freezing, air, and replenish his coffee bean supply, he decided to go for a walk. With a nod in Steve’s direction, he headed to the elevator. 

It was mid December and the air’s bite had turned from a nip to a chomp. There was a couple of inches of snow covering parts of the sidewalks that hadn’t been cleared yet and covering the small patches of green here and there in the city. Tony honestly loved New York in the winter. It was peaceful while still retaining its buzzing energy. There were lights draped on every building and around every tree. As if the city wasn’t bright enough, they had to double it during the holidays. Tony trudged on, figuring he could survive the short trip in this dense cold. His cheeks and nose were angry though as they shined a bright red. Tugging at the collar of his winter jacket, Tony shoved his gloved hands into his pockets, immediately regretting having not taken a scarf. 

As he approached the store front, he could tell it seemed closed. For a weekday morning, this place should be buzzing. That fact alone was enough to send a shiver down the man’s spine and force his guard up. From the window he could see practically no one in there except a couple of men sitting in a booth. What was even weirder was when Tony opened the door which rang a loud bell, none of them looked up. There were no mugs, cups or plates at their table either. Maybe they just haven't gotten their coffee yet? That would have made sense if the woman behind the counter was making something, but she wasn’t. She looked to be about the age of a college student, standing with a tight smile on her dark face. There was something off, and Tony could sense it. She was obviously put off as she stood with a tense posture and a cold sweat glistening over her skin. 

“H-Hello, sir. How-How can I h-help you?” The cracks in her voice were shaky as her hands seemed to tremble beneath the counter. 

“Hey, can I just do a large coffee to go? One cream and sugar. And an extra large bag of french roast beans.”

“Of course, sir. Will t-that be all?” Her voice seemed to crack really hard at the end as she closed her eyes tight, as if in shame or terror, and then opened then again. Tony could see it from here. She was in trouble. The look in her eyes displayed it easily. 

As soon as he heard the sound of a food step, Tony spun his body around, ripping off one of his gloves. There was a buzzing of energy before his wrist watch easily transformed into a repulsor. One of the men from the booth was lunging towards Tony. His body was bulky and clumsy though, so it only took two simple shots that he couldn’t dodge before he was down. Now, the other one. With clenched teeth, Tony slowly turned to look behind the counter. The other goon was standing behind the African American worker, pointing a gun right into her left temple. Her eyes were glassy and scared as they stared into Tony’s calculating brown ones. He had to think, and think fast or this innocent life would be on his own hands. 

Gently, he lowered the makeshift gauntlet, wearing a dark frown. It was difficult, but he tried to wear a ruthless face for the attacker while looking at the girl with comforting eyes. If these guys wanted her dead, she would have been shot by now, so that meant they were using her for leverage. They obviously knew him well, knowing his hero background and hesitancy towards harming a civilian. They may look stupid but definietly knew what they were doing. It was obvious that they also wanted something from Tony. 

Tony did his best to keep his nerves at bay and growled. “Alright, enough embarrassing yourselves. What do you idiots want?” 

That earned him a smirk and relaxed pose. So, this dude was cocky and idiotic. Please. “Oh, now you’re willing to make a deal? When a precious life is on the line?” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Did no one see me carry a nuke through a work hole? Literally just last month. Whole hero gig and everything now.” 

The man let his frown return to his features, tightening the arm he had around the girl’s neck. She grimaced but tried to put on a brave face, attempting to not release a sound and satisfy this man. “You come with us around back all calm like. Drop all your weapons and tech, and the girl goes free.” 

“Gosh, what a pickle, huh?” Tony sighed, knowing he was caught. “Alright, you got me.”

With a swift brush of his finger, Tony activated the ‘panic button’ in his pocket. Every Avenger had been given a membership card like some Costco club. With each card came access to the tower and an emergency button that would activate a distress signal to all other cards. At first, Tony would have called it stupid, but now he was partially greatful for it. As soon as he felt the vibration in his pocket, he raised his hands in surrender. 

With a clank, the repulsor fell to the ground as did his phone and all other little gadgets he carried around. After it was all laid out onto the ground in front of him, he looked at the man with raised eyebrows and pouted lips. “Satisfied?” 

“Very. Now, Luke?”

Behind him the man that he had struck down had gotten up and was pulling out a pair of handcuffs. “Wow, classic. A little old school, but sure.” Tony rolled his eyes as his hands were roughly pulled behind his back and secured. 

The unnamed goon let go of the girl, feeling safe enough to let go of his leverage. She hesitated at first, not sure where to go, when Tony gave her a nod towards the door. She swallowed thickly, before sprinting towards the exit. It wasn’t until she had totally made it out of sight that Tony could feel himself relax more. Well, relax as much as he could while handcuffed. 

“You guys really are as dumb as you look,” Tony huffed before he raised his leg and hammered it straight into Luke’s stomach. He flung forward to clutch his abdomen, black beanie falling off to reveal jet black hair. It was obvious that these guys were out to take Tony alive, or at least keep him alive for a certain time. Again, if they wanted him dead, he would have been by now. 

Goon number two charged at Tony just as clumsy as the first one. Tony used his leg once again to “pull a Natasha” and knock the man straight in the chin. The strike hit him so hard that he was flung to the floor with a groan. 

“Again! Dumb!” Tony’s heart leapt with adrenaline as he ran to the door, feeling home free. Pride rushed into his chest at the thought of him successfully escaping a kidnapping all by himself. Or at least almost. 

Just as he was approaching the door, something dropped from the rafters, landing right before Tony with a swoosh. The figure came so fast that Tony barely had time to register it. He ended up face planting straight into its chest. A small grunt escaped his mouth as the man grabbed Tony by the collar and used his other arm to grab Tony’s hair. Painfully, his head was forced up to look into the man’s, or thing’s, eyes. His face was hidden by a mask with red goggles, so the only distinguishable thing that Tony could see was his long brown hair. After his head was turned from side to side, as if being analysed, it was released. 

“Were you up there the whole time? Damn, you're a sneaky bastard.”

Usually, that gets some sort of response, but this robot didn’t even acknowledge him. “Target acquired. Let’s get back to the van.” 

Tony grunted as he was suddenly lifted into the air and thrown over the robot’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. 

“Hold on.” Tony couldn’t see it, as all he had a view of was the robot’s ass, but the unnamed goon was scrambling behind the counter as he spoke. After a minute, Tony’s head was lifted slightly and a towel was shoved into his mouth and tied around his head. “If I had to listen to his mouth the entire ride, I would shoot him.” 

Tony did his best to display a middle finger to the kidnappers. He tried thrashing once or twice in the man’s hold, but it was like steel. Maybe because it was? Was this man’s arm made of metal? Part of Tony wanted to geek out and analyze the workings of this extremely realistic prosthetic, while the other was proud to officially name this man: Robot. As he probably was in fact one. 

The silver arm only tightened around his waist as they began to walk towards the kitchen and back door. As they made their trek, all Tony could think about was missing Steve’s special dinner. Or the scolding he would receive for being so careless. What he would do to not see that disappointed Steve face.

Chapter Text

Steve

Thor was in love with pancakes. It only took 32 of them to finally fill the demigod up. By the time he was on number 30, Tony had emerged, dressed in boots and his winter coat. He was apparently out of coffee and needed a refill. Steve was saddened at how he wouldn’t be joining them for breakfast, but at least that gave him time to get their floor ready for dinner. Having talked it over with Natasha, Steve made up his mind. He would confess his feelings that night. Enough with the nerves and the fear of rejection and judgement. If he had to wait a second more, it felt like his heart would burst. 

The plan was simple. Steve had bought all of the ingredients for homemade hamburgers and french fries, flowers, candles and snacks. He even had the audacity to purchase some of Tony’s favorite red wine, thanks to Natasha’s recommendation. He would get Tony at 5 o'clock. They would go to a movie, and then come back to the tower for dinner where Steve would try and read the signs and go from there. Either way, he would be open with his feelings because if he didn’t get them out, he would feel like he would be lying to Tony in a way. 

These were the main subject of his thoughts as he washed the dishes and as a buzzing started in his pocket. 

“Oh boy, Tony probably just got cornered by paparazzi.”

Despite Clint’s kidding around, Steve couldn’t help but feel a dead weight settle in his stomach. He pulled his Avengers card from his pocket and saw the call coming from Tony’s card. 

“Jarvis, where’s Tony's phone located?”

“Sir has been at the coffee shop, Captain.”

This had to be a mistake. Maybe Tony just pressed it by accident. But if he did, he would have realized and turned the distress call off by now. Something in Steve’s gut was also telling him that wasn’t it. 

“Thor, go fly out to Tony’s location. Jarvis, project it onto my phone and guide Thor there. I’m going to suit up and meet you there. Clint, get your head straight. Let’s go!” The tremble in Steve’s voice was heavily covered by his determination to get to his teammate immediately. He did his best to keep his Captain America persona, but every part of his body and mind were panicking at the thoughts of Tony in danger. If it were Loki, or even Hydra, he wouldn’t let anything come between himself and the brunette. Within minutes, everyone was dressed and in the garage. Steve chose a motorcycle so he could scout ahead, as Nat and Clint got into one of the cars. The coffee shop was only minutes away, but it felt like hours until they arrived. As Steve weaved in and out of traffic, his heart was hammering harder and harder. Every heartbeat told him to go faster, to push harder and to get to Tony now . 

“Steven!” Thor’s voice sent a scare though Steve as he was snapped out of his own head. The comm in his ear seemed to echo through his entire body.

“Yes, Thor, I’m almost there. A block away!”

“The shop is empty, But I see a black vehicle pulling away from the back of the building rather speedily. Do I engage?”

“Yes! What direction is it going in?”

“North. I am catching up to it.”

Steve slammed on the gas as soon as the light turned. Horns blared all around him, but it didn’t matter. He zipped around every car, adrenaline taking control of his every movement. Narrowed blue eyes watched as he sped by the coffee shop that was surrounded by police cars. He took a deep breath, pushing emotions down so he could focus. If he screwed this up and let his feelings for Tony get the best of him, they would lose Tony. And that would be on Steve. All on him. So, he slowed and searched traffic. His eyes caught hold of something red in the sky. Instincts took control alongside adrenaline as he sped in that direction, going onto a one way street. There were screams as he jumped the bike onto the sidewalk to avoid an oncoming car. He got a loud horn in response, but it quickly faded out of his hearing as he followed the red figure in the sky. It grew larger as did a black SUV in the distance, speeding towards the dock. 

Tony was in that car. 

The car was only 20 feet away when he saw the sunroof open. A man wearing black emerged. He had long hair and a mask that covered his entire face. In his glistening silver arm was a rather large machine gun. Cold sweat coated his body like an icy sheet of fear. Luckily, he wasn’t training it on Steve. Unfortunately, It was on Thor. The man started shooting towards the demigod, causing the 2 cars in front of Steve to swerve suddenly. One crashed into a parked car on the side of the street while the other only hit the curb. Steve couldn’t stop in time and ended up crashing into its rear. Pain shot from his left foot up to his hip as he flew from the bike to the sidewalk. 

The cement collided into his head as did the screams of civilians. The second his body stopped its flight, Steve pushed himself from the ground. A woman was staring at him, clutching her mouth and child’s hand. They made eye contact for a brief second before Steve looked back up to the sky. Thor was still flying, thankfully. But Steve’s relief was short-lived. As another gun went off from the back seat, hitting Thor in the arm. His flight faltered as a grenade was thrown. Steve didn’t need to see the explosion to get his ass moving again. He ran around the car he crashed into and ripped the door open. At least that was what he meant to do. Instead, the whole thing came off its hinges. A teenage boy sat in the driver's seat, looking terrified at Steve’s bloodied body. 

“Are you ok?” Steve asked meaningfully but quickly. Tony’s life wasn’t the only one in danger. These guys seemed to be uncaring towards the safety of civilians. 

It took a second for the boy to shakily nod.

“Ok, I need you to listen to me carefully but quickly. I need to commandeer this vehicle. I am an agent of Shield and a member of the Avengers. There is a crisis that-”

“Dude, enough said. Your Captain America! Of course you can have my car!” 

Steve thanked every one of his lucky stars as the black haired boy climbed from the driver’s seat to the sidewalk. “Thank you so much!”

Without wasting another second, Steve leapt into the car and wiped it around. They were heading to the docks. That was all Steve knew, but it was enough. Thor was no longer in the sky, so Steve knew it was up to him as Clint and Natasha were way back due to heavy traffic and their car. In seconds, he ran out of road and hit the wood of the docks. Ahead was the black SUV. Steve could make out 2 men in a boat as the man with the metal arm carried something over his shoulder out from the car and towards the motor boat. The closer he got, the more his emotions started to peek through. More and more panic began to seep into his chest like dripping honey. 

“Come on!” He tried encouraging the car to go faster as the men untied the boat in a mad rush. 

Throwing the car in park, Steve scrambled out, grabbing a small handgun from his holster. He ran down the dock just as the boat started up the engines. And there was Tony. His Tony. He was sitting with his hands restrained and a metal hand hooked onto his upper arm, holding him in place. The sickening sound of the motor revving and water moving hit Steve’s ears like bullets. The dam broke as panic started to fully pour into Steve’s chest. He aimed the gun for the motor, but it was too fast. The bullet missed and just pelted the water. The gunshot seemed to force Tony’s head to snap up. He looked at Steve, and he looked scared. He looked so scared and alone and it was all Steve’s fault. The boat disappeared into the harbor as Tony’s petrified eyes vanished. 

“Damnit...Damnit! No! I was right there… I had them! I was right there and I lost him!” Steve fell to his knees in defeat, gun dropping uselessly from his grip. There were no other boats around he could hijack, but even if there were, he would be shot at with no backup to fire back for him as he drove the boat. And even so, they would risk hitting Tony. 

Tony. He lost Tony.

Steve started to yell in anger. He threw the gun with all his strength, watching it disappear over the water. His hand came up to pull at his hair. They were so close! Steve was so close. Tony was going for coffee and Steve wouldn’t even protect him. The man was only a few blocks away and Steve still managed to lose him. No, no that wasn’t going to happen. He would get Tony back, even if he had to search the ends of the earth until the day he dies. This wasn’t a dead end. The bastards may have won the battle and taken one of their valued team members, but there was still a war to win. This was indeed war in Steve’s eyes. You don’t just expect to take Tony, Steve’s Tony, and get away with it alive. Slowly, he converted his anger at himself into determination. This was no time to place blame or get emotional. He had to keep a level head, for Tony’s sake.

He didn’t even hear the car pull up behind him until he heard Clint speaking softly into a phone. A light hand came to rest on his shoulder comfortingly. Part of him still felt, still hoped, that Tony was waiting at home for them, tinkering in the workshop or passed out in his bed. The hand helped ground Steve and bring him back to reality. This was real and did actually happen. 

“Steve…” Natasha’s voice held anxiety but stood strong. She could see Steve’s overwhelming panic and was trying to be the rock of the team until Steve could pull himself together. “Let’s regroup and find Thor. We’ll talk to Shield and figure something out. Whoever that was, took him alive, so they are likely to want to keep him alive.”

Clint’s voice joined Natasha’s as he added, “I’m sure he’ll be okay. Tony knows how these things work; he’s been there before, and he’ll handle himself fine.” 

All of this was true. Again, he told himself that he had to keep his head level, for Tony. “Alright.” Steve took a deep breath before standing up and gathering his courage. He still faced away from Nat and Clint, but his stance carried the same amount of determination his expression did. “We lost a valuable team member, and Thor, who is our only other aerial member, is down. We need to get Thor and report to Shield. Once we regroup and get a plan, we'll get Tony back.”

It turned out that Thor was hit with a grenade and was still trying to hobble out of the rubble he landed in. Natasha checked his injuries in the back seat as Clint drove, and Steve spoke with Fury on the phone. Clint had already reported what he had seen, so Steve just filled in the holes with what he saw. They were only 5 minutes away from Shield when Fury told him a large piece of information that melted most of his panic almost instantly. Apparently, Tony had implanted a tracking device into his arc reactor, claiming that “these situations happen all of the time”.

Maria was currently tracking Tony, so whenever they stopped moving, they would send out a team to infiltrate. It only took barely 30 seconds of arguing for Steve to make it known that he would be one of the members of that rescue team. 

Steve was able to contain his nerves by the time they entered the conference room, putting his mind into Captain America mode. Thor turned out to be fine, only stunned as the grenade had sent an electric shock through the demigod on top of exploding. His injuries were little to none; all that was hurt was his pride at losing Tony so easily. At a long oval table, sat Fury with Maria Hill, 2 other agents, and Bruce Banner. Bruce and Maria were hunched together on a laptop, muttering things back and forth before they looked up to see the others. Maria went back to work, but Bruce greeted them. 

“Hey guys.” He seemed to want to say more but forced himself not to, knowing it wasn’t exactly appropriate for general ‘how are you?’ questions. 

“Oh, hey Bruce, how’d you...get here so fast?” Clint said softly as he took a seat. Steve understood the desire for him to speak casually, but he respected the soft tone in light of what just happened. 

“I was actually coming back for a visit, to see how things were going. And I won’t lie, they aren’t going terribly well. But I’m glad about the timing anyway. I want to help in any way I can.”

Steve nodded with a small smile. “Thank you, Bruce, that means a lot.” He turned to Fury who stood at the head of the table, hands behind his back. Once everyone was seated, Fury started to speak.

“Alright, so from what we know, they had set themselves in the coffee shop and hijacked the place at the same time Stark walked out of the door of the tower. Stark’s tower is the most secure place on the planet, so the only way that they knew he was heading there specifically, is because these people have been observing Stark’s actions and routines for a while. They aren’t some bastard amateurs. They know what they are doing. In order to know exactly when Stark left, so they could take over the shop, they had stationed others on nearby buildings. I had agents scouting the area and just heard back, we have one of them in custody. He is being transported here as we speak, so we will be able to know what organization this is. Doctor Banner here is currently tracking Stark with Agent Hill. Once they get a location of the base he is being taken to, I am going to send a team out. This needs to be fast and efficient. We can’t risk them getting any information out of Stark or realizing he has a tracker before we get to him. That is why, I am stating this loud and clear: if any of you is being too clouded by emotions or shit, say so now. I refuse to send anyone out who might screw this up and get others or Stark killed.”

There was a pause in Fury’s speech as he looked each Avenger’s member in the eye. Steve thought for a moment, considering sitting it out. He didn’t want to get in the way, but if he didn’t go on this mission, he would regret it for the rest of his days. Steve was the one who lost Tony, so he would be the one to get Tony back. His emotions would be kept in a tight reign as his focus would be on getting Tony out. And only that. With that in mind, Steve didn’t let his face falter. It stood with a calm but determined frown and hard eyes. 

“Fine. With that being said, Captain, you will be heading the rescue team. Barton will be stationed for long range, and Romanoff will be with Rogers as his look out. Thor, I want you to be with Romanoff and Rogers, but stay behind them. You’ll provide backup and clear the escape route for when they locate Stark. And Rogers, you will be the one who is responsible for Stark. From what I know, you are the one who he trusts the most and the one who will be able to extract him the easiest. Once we know who this is, we can get more details on the possible layout of the base and where Stark will most likely be taken. Then we can get more specifics on your roles, but for now, that’s basically it.”

Fury answered a few more questions and soon, they were ready to get moving. It must have been at least a few hours before they finally heard anything. An agent came in saying that the thug revealed he was a part of Hydra. Tony was needed alive and mostly unharmed. Unfortunately, he didn’t know the reason behind Stark’s kidnapping, but this was enough information to help them generously. Even more anger mixed in Steve’s chest with the anxiety, anger at Hydra. They already took Bucky from him, and Steve was not about to stand by while they also took Tony. He wouldn’t rest until every Hyra base was torn apart, brick by brick and every member was 6 feet in the ground. 

His heart lurched at the small bing that the computer gave out, interrupting Steve’s thoughts. In an instant, Bruce and Hill were hovering over it, analysing it. It was already 8 o’clock by now, and Steve’s nerves were busting at the seams. Thanks to Natasha, he had eaten a few high calorie protein bars, although they were forced down his throat, so he wasn’t at the point of collapsing. His appetite had vanished, but after a lecture from Nat about being weak from not eating and having to stay behind for Tony’s rescue, he was convinced. So when the bing rang out throughout the room, Steve knew he was ready. His nerves were overwhelming, but so was his determination and rage. He would have to control these emotions and use them to his advantage if he wanted to pull this off and save Tony. 

“It looks like he’s in a small town on the coast of Massachusetts. I’m going to send the coordinates to the quinjets and everyone’s phone in the room. He’s been there for over a half hour, so that must be where the base is.” Maria did some more typing before everyone’s phone buzzed. 

Steve took a long breath before he stood up and looked at each of his teammates. They all looked drained but masked it with courage and determination. “Alright, everyone, let’s go get Tony back.”

Chapter Text

Tony

The one thing that Tony really didn't want to do that day, was get kidnapped. He really, really, really, really did not want to. What he wanted to do was get some amazing coffee, go back to the tower, finish up the suit, go for a test fly, shower, get ready for dinner, and spend his evening with Steve. He didn’t know what to expect for that night, but no matter what, he was excited. He was...until his day just had to be hijacked, literally. This had happened too many times before for him to be scared. Sure, Tony was nervous but not scared. Anger also pooled in Tony’s mind as he became annoyed at how this was happening. Being slung over some stranger’s shoulder, restrained and gagged, was not the most confidence boosting position. He was utterly and totally helpless, and it annoyed him to no end. 

They made their way through the back kitchen and into an alleyway. It was hard to see, but Tony could definitely tell that they were outside by the sudden blast of cold. Roughly, Tony was shoved into the back seat of an SUV like a bag of luggage. Luke and the Bionic Man settled on each side of Tony, squishing him like a sandwich. 

“Inject him,” the thug in the driver’s seat said harshly. 

Drug him?! With what? Tony started to finally feel some panic surface as Luke pulled a needle from his pocket. A snarl slipped from the gag, as Tony tried to fight back. He twisted and thrashed which only resulted in the Robot grabbing one of his arms and chin in a bruising grip. His chin was pulled and held into place as the needle crept closer and closer to its target. A sting spread out into the side of his neck, forcing a wince to run through his body. Almost immediately, the drug started to take its effect. It was startling at how the cool liquid felt entering his veins, but any and all panic soon dissolved. A sense of calmness spilled into his body slowly, and it spread through him, feeling almost like honey. 

His mind seemed to steadily blur, and his thoughts came to a halt. It was frustrating. No matter what he tried to do, he couldn’t get a straight thought. All of the strength in his muscles seemed to suddenly vanish. Despite his efforts, Tony couldn’t help it as his head slouched against someone’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure who’s, but it wasn’t pushed off, only nudged so it laid on the headrest behind him. Every moment was starting to blend together, and he couldn’t really tell what was exactly going on anymore. It sounded like machine guns were going off as the car felt like it was accelerating. Tony’s body felt like a ragdoll as it was pressed against the seat. Suddenly, an explosion echoed throughout his head. It felt like Tony should be panicking at this point, but his mind was still calm and foggy. It was uncomfortable how his feelings were betraying his better instincts. Everything (from what he could tell from the fog) seemed to be chaotic and adrenaline pumping, but he couldn’t fight off the forced relaxation. 

After what felt like a couple seconds, an arm was raised in front of him to stop him from flying forward as the car came to a screeching halt. A wave of dizziness came crashing into him like a tidal wave, and he lost all awareness for a moment. When he came back to, the world felt like it was rocking. The smell of fish and salt hovered in the air densely. It helped snap Tony a little bit more into reality. A motor roared to life as the world lurched to the right, and Tony was able to brace himself a little. It wasn’t until a gunshot rang out, that Tony started to fight the drug even more. He turned his head, looking past the robot man. It looked like Steve was in the distance, standing on a dock with a horrified look on his face. It made Tony feel unsettled. He must be upset because Tony was...on a boat? But he seemed to be heading away from Steve. Was the explosion from Steve? Or directed at him? Tony didn’t know, but he was happy that at least Steve was okay. 

“Give him another dosage, the other wasn’t enough to knock him out.” 

Another needle pierced the skin on his neck, and it took only a second before the calmness was back. This time, it was stronger than before and seemed to turn into fatigue. His body gave out before he could stop it, and his mind started to shut down. Within minutes, he was unconscious. 

--<>--

As Fury always says, this wasn’t Tony’s first rodeo. It was probably his 235th rodeo in fact. He didn’t know. He stopped counting after the (more realistically) 10th time. Ever since he was a kid, people were after the Stark family riches and brains. Howard was always targeted when Tony was young. Tony would admit, the first time was rather cliche. He was like 5 years old, and what 5 year old would say no to free ice cream? The man also offered him a toy rocket ship. That was the deal breaker right then. Each time lasted at least a day or more as Howard would be stubborn about giving several million dollars to some goon. It may have seemed like a terrible way for a parent to act, but in all honesty, Tony could understand. It was the one thing that made sense to him about Howard. As a kid, he was never seriously hurt, and more than half the time, he would somehow outsmart the idiots who decided to trifle with the Starks. They would also request outragous amounts of cash or make stupid mistakes that would lead a path for the police to follow to Tony’s rescue. 

Of course, the ten rings were nothing like that. They were smart and ruthless. It was the first time Tony was actually broken by a kidnapping. There was no joking around, no mistakes, and no holding back. They needed Tony for his brain, not his sanity. So trauma, PTSD, and waterboarding occurred. Iron man was born, nightmares made their way into Tony's nightly routine, and yada yada yada. All the fun jazz. After that tragedy, Tony made sure he upped his security. His driver, Happy, or military friend, Rhodey, were with him almost 24/7. He trained in self defense and of course, upgraded iron man. This proved effective until, well now. 

Living with the Avengers and acting like a full blown superhero must have gotten to his head, because his guard had dropped slightly. This wouldn’t have happened if he was more careful. Now, as an adult, people weren’t after just money or secrets, but anything else Tony had to offer. And they weren’t afraid to take any kinf of measures to get it either. 

This group seemed ruthless, maybe more so than the ten rings. Those idiots may have been able to hit Tony where it hurt, but they still made some major mistakes, leading to his escape. Whoever these guys were, however, they seemed to know exactly what they were doing. They were able to grab Tony in a matter of minutes and escape from Steve, Thor, Nat and Clint. Now that was what scared him. Without a doubt in the world, Tony knew his team would be coming for him. After everything they had been through, especially with Steve, there was no way he’d be left behind. Who else would upgrade the gear and house them in a luxury tower? Barton? Yeah, no. 

The problem he had was what these people would do to him in the meantime. The waterboarding alone stole Tony’s sleep for months, who knows what would happen after this? If they were able to escape the Avengers, then this would probably last a while. These weren’t the type of people to make mistakes. They were the ones who cleaned the scene spotless and left no trail, not even a speck of dust. So even though rescue was coming, who knows when it would?

That’s what Tony’s brain ran through as he started to wake up. The drug had totally left his system, and Tony’s brain took full advantage. Apparently they had taken some motorboat somewhere before Tony fell unconscious, so who knows where he was. Coldness seeped into his skin from the posterior as he lay totally flat. It must have been some type of table. His hands were secured by restrains, keeping them glued to his sides as were his feet. His body was in a type of anatomical position. Goosebumps scattered his arms and legs as his nerves started waking from their hibernation. The air was cold and dense. It smelled like bleach and chemicals, making Tony want to wrinkle his nose. He refrained, however, wanting to still seem asleep to whomever might be in the room. Being completely naked was one of his least favorite things, at least in this situation. Wink, wink. At least it felt like he had on some briefs, everything else though was gone. 

A whisper of voices slithered into Tony’s ear that he couldn’t quite make out. They were muffled by a wall or something. He decided to chance it and dropped his only advantage. Opening his eyes was a mistake however. The lights were like fog horns as they blared into his pupils. In an attempt to block out the white light, Tony squinted and tossed his head to the side. As soon as he looked to the left, everything spun. Damn, what did they drug him with? His stomach flipped and he thought he was going to throw up. It only lasted a couple seconds, but when it finally calmed down, Tony looked back up. Above him were large medical looking lights illuminating the entire room. It bounced off the white walls and every piece of furniture in the room. It seemed to be an operating room. There was a desk in the corner covered in files and paperwork, a couple dark grey cabinets with bronze locks, and a small table with wheels. The table held scalpels, towels, a permanent marker, and other various cutting utensils. Upon the sight of each, more and more fear piled up inside Tony’s mind. It began to panic with the thought of obvious torture to ensue. He liked his body the way it was, thank you very much. Yeah, his height was a deep insecurity of his, but it wasn’t as bad where he would go to these lengths. 

But he had to remain strong, unbreakable. If they saw him falter in the slightest, they would exploit it. These people were smart and probably observant. So, with a peeved expression and steady breathing, he tested the restraints. Yup, he was definitely stuck. 

One deep breath later found Tony releasing a loud sigh/groan. These idiots probably hadn’t realized he was up yet. As soon as the sigh left his lips, the voices seized their whispering and silenced. A secret smile found itself on Tony’s lips at the image of the people scrambling in silence at the idea of Tony’s awakened state. After a few minutes, the sound of a door opening woke Tony from his dozing. He did his best to turn his head up and look at the intruder, but all he could see was more of the tile ceiling and top of the doorway. 

“Took you long enough. Was debating taking another nap or not.” 

A snicker was the only response as a man came into view. He was tall, extremely tall, like Steve tall, except he lacked the distinctive muscle bulk. Short red hair sprang from the top of his head in the form of a buzz cut and clashed with his murky green eyes. A sickening grin painted his sharp face that made Tony almost squirm in discomfort. Almost. His lab coat practically blended with the wall, it was so white. 

“Ah, Anthony Stark. Is that so? Should I arrange for more of that drug so you can get more beauty sleep?” His voice was deep and chalky, making Tony grimace even more. 

“Oh, no I’m all set. As much as I’d rather not look at your ugly face, I’d be more comfortable knowing what the hell your little torture chamber has planned.” 

He only chuckled, turning his head away in boredom. The lab coat almost made a swishing sound as he stepped over to the desk, picking up a clipboard. “So much sass,” he mumbled, looking over the notes.

“Yeah, I’m kind of...known for that.” This man was really strange, weirder than Tony was used to and he didn’t like it. It made his skin crawl as it pleaded his mind to figure out a way to get the hell out of there. 

“Well, no need. I’ll take care of that in no time. But as always, work must come before play.” Yeah, this dude was creepy . 

He turned to the tray, lifting the towel. Underneath there was a small black disk with a single red light on it. It was barely the size of a penny, maybe smaller, but Tony knew what it was automatically. It caused his stomach to drop, and once again, he felt the nausea crawling up his throat. 

“Now, as fun as this will be for me, this might hurt. Quite a lot.”

“Trust me, Kim Possible, I’ve felt worse.” 

Tony remained silent and did his best to not tighten his face in any way. This creep obviously had a thing for pain, and Tony was not about to satisfy him so easily. It stung horribly, but the chip was quickly inserted into Tony’s under arm and bandaged up to prevent infection. 

“You weren’t lying were you?” He hummed as he cleaned his scalpel. “This is going to be fun, then.” Tony was about to retort when the douche just turned and spoke into an earpiece. “Send up the soldier, Stark is all set here.” 

“What? That’s all you got for me? Seems like you guys need to brush up on your torture techniques,” Tony said smugly as the man sat back at the desk, writting somethings down. 

“You think that was torture? Trust me, Stark, we haven’t even started yet. I’ll break that little attitude you have piece by piece until you’ll be nothing but a shell of yourself. You underestimate us.” He didn’t even look up the whole time he spoke. His hand kept scribbling as his words barely made Tony flinch. It wasn’t until he finished that the flinch almost came out. Almost. Once he said his piece, the ginger glanced up with a mad look in his eye. The murky irises were on full display as his pupils were barely present in his eyes. His unnaturally white teeth shined in a devious manner, making Tony a bit uncomfortable. Yeah, this dude was a nutcase. Tony knew he should be careful around this man, as he probably had the ability to tear him to shreds, but when was Tony the type of person to keep his mouth shut?

“Well, I don’t even know who ‘we’ is. How am I supposed to be intimidating when I don’t even know who the intimidators are?” 

The ginger only snickered and stood up. His red hair tousled a little as he shook his head and approached Tony’s body once again. With a curious look on his face, the creep reached out a hand to stroke the rim of the reactor. On instinct, Tony recoiled slightly, showing his discomfort for a second before regaining his annoyed expression. These idiots obviously wanted him alive, and leaving the reactor alone was a price to pay if they wanted to keep his heart pumping. 

“My apologies, I must have forgotten to introduce myself.” Finally the hand left the reactor, but it instead shot up to grip his chin painfully. Tony couldn’t decide which was worse. “For I am Doctor Khan and will be the one...watching over you during your time here. Welcome to Hydra.”

Before another retort could get out, the door burst open behind Tony. He tried to turn his head again to see who it was, but it was no use. The person didn’t move from their spot in the doorway and didn’t make a sound. 

“Hello, Soldier. Please take Stark to his residence for the time being. Secure and guard him until further notice.” 

The ‘Soldier’ released a grunt and stepped into Tony’s view finally. It was the Robo cop from before! The mask was gone though, so Tony could see his face. His expression was blank and it slightly disturbed Tony. His clear blue eyes were clouded and stone cold, but something about them, about his face, seemed to ring a tiny bell in the back of Stark’s mind. It was a faint bell, but loud enough for him to hear it. Tony was usually terrible at remembering people and faces, but this one for some reason seemed to be important enough to register. 

Without a second thought, the Soldier grabbed the restraints on Tony’s legs and began to unclasp them. Once they were undone, he went to the ones on his hands. As soon as Tony was free, the Soldier wrapped a hand around the genius’ uninjured arm and yanked him to stand. Tony stumbled at first, but caught his footing as he was dragged from the room into a musty hallway. 

“So, you a man of few words?” Tony tried as soon as he caught his footing and was able to keep up. The hallway was bland with no windows at all, only doors that either had dark windows that were blocked off, or none at all. 

When he got no answer, Tony tried again.

“A mysterious type, that’s cool too. I dig that. You know, I never do this a lot, but do I know you? Something about your face seems...oddly familiar?”

Nothing. 

“You seemed to hear the Witch Doctor just fine back there. What? I didn’t have a one night stand with you, did I?”

They finally got to an elevator and rode to the 2nd floor. Tony made multiple more attempts to get a crack in the Soldier, but everytime he was either met with a glare or a hard tug on his arm. The guy’s grip was strong and felt like an iron clasp, so Tony knew he would just have to go along with these people. This would only go for as long as it took for a window of opportunity to arise or when Tony was able to make one for himself. This place seemed pretty secure and with Robo cop on his tail, there was no way this would be an easy escape. Tony would have to be smart. There was no way he was going back willingly to Doctor Creep’s though. 

One more hallway later, Tony was dragged into a small room. There was a crappy lightbulb illuminating the 10’ by 10’ room in a yellow light accompanied by a ragged mattress on the ground, rusted toilet sink, and pile of bleach smelling blankets. 

“Clothes are with the blankets.”

“He speaks!” Tony yelled as the man’s rough voice finally made itself known. 

That was all that he said, however, as he went back to completely ignoring Tony and instead focused on attaching a chain to Tony’s ankle. The other end connected to the center of the floor, letting him barely reach the walls of the room. 

“Wait, can I at least get my pants on before you put that on?” 

The Soldier looked at him in a perplexed manner, but seemed to allow it. 

As Tony pulled the black pair of slacks and plain black t shirt on, he kept hammering at the mystery man. “So, you work here for long? Benefits must be pretty great. Or maybe it’s the food. They provide free lunches? Taco Tuesdays?” he paused, acting like he would get an answer. “Yeah, you seem like a guy who would like tacos.” 

“...You should rest.”

Tony shrugged as the Soldier clamped on the chain and stepped back to sit in the corner of the room. The door was closed and probably locked, so the only way out would be getting through to this dude. Something about him seemed extremely off, like he wasn’t meant to be here. Maybe they were black mailing him? No, that wasn’t right. It was something else. Maybe, just maybe, if Tony pressed at him enough, this man could be his ticket out of there. That was one option, but in the meantime, he would keep looking for anything else. 

The blankets seemed warm enough and only a little scratchy. He laid one on top of the mattress, (like it would make it any less disgusting), and used the other to drape on top of himself. There was one more, but he felt selfish if he used all of them without giving the Soldier the option of using it, even if he didn’t. The room settled into silence as the only sound was the buzzing of the light bulb and creaking of the pipes and building. The Soldier would glance at Tony every so often, but then he would turn his gaze to stare blankly at the wall.

“So, do you have a name or is it some complicated number code thingy?”

After a moment of Tony shooting the man a menacing glare, he surprisingly spoke an answer. “Winter Soldier. I have no name.”

“No name? But you just said it.”

He only gave Tony a confused look. 

“Any hobbies? Or anything fun to do around here?” Nothing. “Ok, I can’t shake this, I know that I know you. I never remember faces or people in general, but when I do, it’s a big thing.”

“You are Tony Stark, son of Howard and Maria Stark. Howard and Maria were targets on December 16, 1991. Mission was successful.” 

What ? “What did you just say?”

Tony’s heart suddenly stopped and squeezed his entire chest into a tight ball. He watched as the Soldier remained silent, lowering his gaze to the ground. His parents were in a car accident! They were on their way to deliver something for SI and ended up on a bad curve and were killed instantly. Was that all some set up? Was his father involved in something with Hydra and Shield when he died? And more importantly, was this man infront of him responsible for their deaths? Responsible for Tony’s spiral into darkness from the loss of his parents and overload of responsibility? 

Anger overwhelmed Tony’s mind as he tried to digest this new information. “Did you kill my parents, you bastard?!”

The Soldier flinched at Tony’s raised tone as he stood from where he was sitting. 

“You did you Hydra f*ck! You murdered them and blamed it on my dad’s alcoholism!”

“H-howard and M-maria Stark, I…”

“What? You aren’t denying it? You going to kill me too?”

“N-no, Anthony Stark, mission: guard and protect.”

Tony seethed, but remained silent. He watched as the man suddenly became conflicted. This was the first time he was showing emotions and it caught Tony off guard. There was something wrong with this dude, and despite Tony’s furious anger at his new discovery, he knew there was another variable here. 

“So...you’re some kind of weapon I’m guessing?” Tony crossed his arms, containing his anger for now, although his fist was screaming at him to let it connect with this bastard’s face. 

“I...am the Winter Soldier. For...Hydra.” 

Tony hummed. “Wow, that’s some pretty good brainwashing.” 

The chain clattered as Tony sat back down and the Soldier finally looked back up at him. This man was obviously being messed up by Hydra against his will. But what really bothered Tony was that he knew this man, somehow. 

“Did Hydra kidnap you or something and turn you into their personal weapon?”

“I...am a weapon.” The Soldier stuttered, shaking his head. 

“Dude, no you’re not. You’re a person.”

Blue eyes trailed over Tony’s form as he seemed to be lost in thought. 

“Do...you know Nicholas Fury?” Tony figured he would try and go through the possible people this man would know. Maybe hearing a name would trigger something in him and Tony would have some sort of help escaping this hellhole, even if it were with his parent’s murderer.

The soldier shook his head.

“Natasha Romanoff? Clint Barton?”

No and nope.

“Steve Rogers?”

Now that got something. The Soldier’s gaze snapped up as his brows tilted in thought. 

“Steve? You know Steve! Captain America?”

“Steve...I...think so.”

That was it. It finally clicked as Tony realized who this was. “Wait, wait I know who you are! You’re Bucky Barnes! From the Howling Commandos!” 

The man’s face morphed from confusion to conflict. His hands gripped his hair and pulled painfully. 

“Hey, hey,” Tony said softly at the sudden panic from Barnes. He must have survived the fall somehow and was taken by Hydra to be used as some kind of murder weapon. 

“Q-quiet! You need to sleep. Now.” 

Tony recoiled at the sudden outburst and knew he had to take this slowly. This man was obviously damaged in a serious manner, so Tony shouldn’t rush into this. He needed to be careful not to damage him further. This was more progress than Tony was expecting so for now he would digest this information and try to formulate a plan in the meantime. He laid back down and kept his eyes lazily on the Soldier for a while, making sure he wouldn’t attack him in the middle of the night for no reason. But soon enough, sleep took him prisoner too as his mind slowly drifted, exhausted from the day’s strain. 

Chapter Text

Tony

When one has to wake someone up, they usually resort to lightly tapping or shaking the person’s shoulder. They could also quietly whisper the sleeping person’s name. These methods are the most popular ones as they prevent the sleeping person from harming themselves or freaking out. When Tony was awoken by none of these methods, one could say he was quite startled, for having ice cold water thrown in one’s face would probably surprise anyone. His dark, restless sleep was suddenly ripped from his consciousness as he gasped at the blast of arctic cold. 

His eyes flew open and his hands flew up to cover his face from anymore torture. When a second passed, and Tony was finally able to reanalyze the situation, he grimaced and glared up at the men standing over him. The soaking mattress made a squishing sound as Tony sat up and the men howeled their obnoxious laughter. 

“Now, that...was a good idea,” the black haired one gasped between laughs as he slapped the dirty blond on the back. 

“F*ck off,” Tony groaned as he shook his hands through his dripping hair. 

“You better get used to that alarm clock, Stark.”

They forced him to stand up and unlocked the chain around his ankle. Tony glanced to the corner to find it empty. A flash of sadness hit his chest for a second for reasons Tony couldn’t name. With a hand on each of his arms, Tony was dragged down the hallway and to the elevators. When he realized they were going back to Doctor Creep’s, a sharp prick of fear penetrated his tough state of mind. He needed to remain strong, but the idea of being alone in a room with this dude was slightly terrifying to Tony. Only slightly. The fear grew and grew as the door grew closer. The men didn’t stop, though, as they approached and soon passed the door. They continued down the hallway and towards a larger steel door. The fear soon morphed into a new kind, not for the Witch Doctor but for the unknown.

There was a loud buzzing sound emanating from behind the door that also stirred Tony’s nerves quite a bit. What seemed to settle them only a little was the sight of a certain someone standing in the corner next to the mystery door. It was Barnes! He stepped forward without a word, making Tony anxious. One rough shove later and Tony’s arm was in the (literal) iron grip of the former Sergeant. 

“Take him to Doctor Khan,” one of the guards barked as Barnes yanked Tony forward. He jerked his head in the direction of the looming steel door. 

Tony was too out of his element to retort as Barnes pushed the doors open with a long creak. The smell of metal and smoke hit them all immediately making Tony’s nose scrunch up. It was similar to his own workshop, just with the scent of...Hydra, if that made any sense. It caused him to cringe as he took in the features of the room. The walls seemed to be at least 20 feet tall and the room was bigger than Tony’s workshop at home. There were miscellaneous machines scattered everywhere, but the one in the center was what caught Tony’s eye. There was a small rectangular case to the side that was connected by about 5 different size hoses. They all lead to a bigger contraption. It was a large steel looking box that was lined with wires, panels, lights and buttons with several scientists in lab coats fiddling with it. 

Doctor Creep was standing near the side with a woman, staring at some part of the machine as they talked. Tony couldn’t make out what they were saying over the loud whirling of the machinery nor see what they were talking about from the angle he was at. They only stood for a second before Tony was dragged towards the maniacs. 

“Ah, yes. Good job, Soldier. Take him right over here please.” Tony cringed at the sound of Khan’s voice. They had been apparently staring at a rusted bed frame that was attached to the machine standing upright. “How was your night, Stark?” he asked cheekily. 

“Not a fan of the smell, or the mattress, or the dungeon decor, but nothing a complimentary breakfast can’t fix.” 

Khan snickered, putting his sickening smile on full display. “Well, I’m sorry that you won’t be getting any of that. Soldier, if you could hold him in place please?”

With some choice words on Tony’s part, Barnes forced Tony to stand against the frame, securing his wrists and chest to the metal with some scratchy leather straps. They smelled vaguely of rotting cheese. Before the chest strap was attached though, Khan approached him with a pair of crappy scissors, clipping his shirt to shreds. That was when Tony was starting to understand what was happening. He was going to be used as a battery for this machine. 

“You are probably wondering what is happening right now?” Khan asked, drawing an eye roll from Tony. 

“Nope, I’ve got that already. Keep up, buddy,” Tony remarked, exhaling loudly as he did. 

To that, a loud smack echoed through the room. Tony’s ears rang as his head flew to the right. The bed frame rattled at the sudden force as did Tony’s brain. Once the black spots vanished, Tony could feel the bruise forming already over his cheek bone. 

“Oh, yes. Now that will look lovely.” Khan wore an ugly smirk as he straightened his lab coat, admiring the soon to be purple mark. 

Tony’s arms tingled suddenly as he began to rethink this man. That smack came out of nowhere and was only a smack. One would think that that would leave a mark, yes, but not feel like a punch or leave the mark of a punch. Did Hydra do it? Were they finally able to crack the code in making super soldiers? Or was this dude just miraculously gifted with godly strength? Maybe it wasn’t Steve’s serum, but it was definitely something of that sort. 

“As I was saying, you are probably wondering what this all is for. You see, we have something here,” he nodded to the rectangular box that the machine was connected to. “But in order to access it’s full power, we need to...kick start it. To put it into simpler terms.”

“You do know that I have 3 doctorates, correct? I think I can handle a little science talk.” 

Khan just ignored Tony’s remark. “We were thinking to just take your reactor. Why bother with the whole package when we just need the battery? Literally. But, of course the higher ups understand that although for this, only the battery is needed, but the rest of you can prove useful in other situations.” 

Tony scoffed. “And what makes you think I would ever help you assholes?” 

Again with the disturbing smirk and matching set of murky irises. “You see the Soldier over there? Perfect Hydra poster boy. Listens to every command without hesitation. You see, he used to be like you. All free spirited and hopeful. Nothing a little electric shock therapy and brain stimulation can’t fix.” 

Great. 

“Of course, a little torture can also be persuasive.” Khan leaned close, letting his heavy breath dust Tony’s burning cheek and earlobe. To punctuate his sentence, he yanked the chest restraint strap passive aggressively, making Tony almost release a grunt. Almost. 

“Well, good luck. I’m known to have a thick head.” 

“And that is what will make it so fun.” With that, Khan vanished to go around the machine, leaving Tony facing a room of scientists laser focused on their computers. 

Well, at least it made sense now. Barnes had been taken somehow after he fell from the train that day he was reported dead. They had brainwashed him into some mindless Soldier with only static for thoughts. Or maybe the static was only acting like a fog. He seemed to respond somehow to the sound of Steve’s name. Tony didn’t want to get overly hopeful, but it was something he could use to his advantage. And right now he could use anything he got. 

Apparently they needed him alive though. They wanted to use the reactor to charge this machine for some sort of experiment and then train him to be their personal engineer. It seemed that they preferred him alive, but were willing to take his life if they had to. They were the kind of organization that would do anything to stay alive, to keep their last head alive, even if that meant killing the golden goose. 

So, Tony had some time, maybe, before this whole brainwashing thing went down. He would have to think hard until then. 

Khan came back around after that thought, dragging some wires with him. 

“Now, the machine isn’t quite ready for all the energy this beauty has to offer, so this will be just a test run. After this, you and I will have a little chat.” 

His grimy hands grasped the casing on the reactor, contaminating it with his Hydra germs. Tony held his breath inconspicuously as the casing was lifted and his one vulnerability was exposed to everyone. He watched with constricted pupils as 3 wires were attached to the main core, diverting energy into the damn machine he was secured to. A buzz left Tony’s body, leaving it feeling drained suddenly. Anger soon filled its place as Khan patted his unbruised cheek. 

“This process should only last about a minute so you won’t die. Hopefully.” 

Before the process started, a scientist approached the rectangle box. She opened it slightly as if checking if whatever was inside was good to go. Tony’s eyes strained to see what was inside, and he felt his guts freeze. There, glowing in all it’s blue beauty, was Loki’s scepter. They were probably trying to harness its power, but needed a kick start, which is what Tony was there for. But how did they get the scepter in the first place? It was in Shield custody. And what were they going to use this power for?  

Tony’s thoughts came to a steep halt though. When the machine turned on, he felt the scream already rising in his throat. It felt like bile, ready to come out immediately. He dug his blunt nails into his palms in desperation to not satisfy these goons. Of course the pain might just win, though, and make the scream vomit come up. The feeling was intense and rippled throughout his entire body. It ripped through every muscle fiber as energy was sucked out of every cell. The reactor burned like a branding iron and caused several loud grunts to escape Tony’s lips. His body spasmed as the process seemed to last an eternity. As soon as the pulsating pain finally stopped, Tony sagged against the restraints. 

“Tha’...was nothin’” Tony slurred, not wanting to see the smirk Khan wore, knowing he had exploited Tony. 

“Oh, no no no. That was perfect. Should work beautifully. This little guy does have a lot of energy, doesn’t he?” The grubby fingers were back to petting Tony’s reactor, as they yanked out each wire. With each yank, Tony’s body shuddered, despite his efforts to not show weakness. 

No matter the strength of his mind, his body did have its limits. Once the casing was replaced, Barnes stepped forward from the corner he had been lurking in. The restraints were undone, but there was no need to take measures to stop Tony from making a run for it. He had no idea where he was or how to get out. He was surrounded and totally out of energy at that moment, so there was no point. 

“Take him to my office. I’d like him to rest and then have some fun with him.” Tony heard Khan purr. He could barely lift his head for a glare, though. It only hung limply as Barnes pulled one of his arms around his shoulders to drag him out of there. 

“Steve...Rogers…” Barnes whispered into Tony’s ear as they made their way down the hallway. “You know him?”

Tony grunted a quiet yes, feeling hope bubble in his burnt chest. 

“He spoke of me being...brainwashed. They clear me after each mission. Are they blocking me from remembering this person? These names that I see sometimes at night? Who I used to be?” 

“Probably,” Tony whispered as they entered the torture chamber. 

Barnes didn’t answer after that. Instead, he settled Tony on the metal table. Tony’s hands and ankles were once again secured, as if they were even necessary. Just as Tony thought that Barnes forgot what they were just talking about, he leaned down close to Tony’s ear, pretending that he was adjusting a strap. “They are using the machine two days from now. I will get us out of here before then. Be ready. We will plan tonight.” 

And with that, Barnes left, but not before giving Tony a small smirk and light of hope. Beautiful hope. 

--<>--

“Now, where shall I start?” 

Khan had entered his ‘office’, waking Tony from his nap and waving around a scalpel. He seemed to think that it was scaring Tony, but it did nothing really. For Tony’s skin was already littered with scars from previous ‘sessions’. 

“I have been permitted to avoid those hands of yours and brain, as for their use for Hydra later on. So let’s start here.” 

Right on que, the blade cut into Tony’s thigh, causing his teeth to tighten. A matching one scrapped its way onto his other leg, as did a dozen more cuts. Neatly, Khan stitched up the few that were too deep to leave open, but left the others exposed to the dusty air. They littered his legs and chest ranging from little scraps to deep 6 inch gashes. With each one, Tony felt his strength diminishing. He never wanted to give this fool the satisfaction of hearing a scream, but he was very good at his job. Once Khan got bored of the scalpel, he found a rusted hammer to play with. 

Just as Tony thought he was getting bored, Khan opened the door for some men. By this time, he was sporting not only the cuts, but a black eye, bloodied lip, broken foot, 2 broken ribs at least, and bone deep cut in his calf (the same leg as the broken foot). If Tony’s body were a car, it would be on empty at this moment. He only thought this before he saw what was being brought in however. Without the energy to turn his head, he could only lay there helplessly trying to breath, listening to the sound of men grunting and something being dragged in. 

“Knowledge of your time in Afghanistan is very limited. There are only a few many who know what truly conspired over there. Luckily, we have found one of those unlucky few.”

Tony’s body went stiff as a wave of coldness shook his bones. The bruises, cuts and broken bones he could deal with, but not that . There was no way he could make it through another session of that. 

“Ah, yes. There is that fear I’ve been wanting to draw from those gorgeous eyes.” Khan loomed over Tony, smiling devilishly. 

Tony shook himself from the state he was stuck in, and forced a nervous laugh, trying to cover his trembling. “Now, ok, listen, I-”

Khan pursed his lips to make a shushing noise. Coarse hands brushed his face and ran through his hair. Tony snarled and tried to jerk his head away. The creep grasped his curls instead, pulling his face back to stare into his dead green eyes. 

“There isn’t a person who comes in here that I can’t break, I promise you that. I want to hear you begging me to stop and see you on your knees. I want to see those lovely eyes filled with not only fear like they are now but also tears for me. I will strip you down to the bone, make you tremble at the sight of me. Anthony Stark, you will not escape me. You will soon learn to not only fear but to also crave my touch.” 

Tony slammed his teeth together even harder, feeling them crack as he thrashed in anger. “You Creepy f*ck! Don’t touch me with your pervy rat claws. You think I’m scared of you?! Of your little cuts and bruises and threats?! You can’t break me, motherf*cker, I am the f*cking Invincible Iron Man.” 

Fear was clouded by last minute adrenaline and anger in Tony’s eyes as he glared straight back into the dead green ones. They challenged Khan for some time, before the green fled, but soon came back. His face was no longer full of sick joy, but annoyance. Roughly, his hand covered Tony’s face with a towel, holding it there. Just as it blanketed Tony’s face, the engineer took a deep, full breath, knowing full and well what was to come. He hoped this adrenaline would last, as this was going to be a long night. 

He lost count of how many times they did it, but it was more than 17 times. Large 2 gallon buckets of freezing water were poured onto his head over and over. Every 2 or 3 there would be a minute break where the towel was lifted so Tony could breath, but they didn’t make a difference. His lungs still burned just as they had in Afghanistan. By the fifth bucket, Tony had broken his promise to himself and screamed. At least they were muffled by the towel. With every tortured scream, more and more water entered Tony’s lungs. His entire body was shaking as it howled for air. Suddenly, Tony’s mind didn’t know where it was anymore, Afghanistan or a Hydra base. He could feel the car battery and rusty magnet electrocuting his body with every waterfall, and he felt his eyes tearing up at the flurry of emotions. 

After hours of his mind going in and out, the towel was finally lifted and thrown to the floor. Tony swallowed in all the air he could as quickly as possible, fearing another bucket. Khan was standing over him, smirking and admiring his work. 

“Now, it is getting late. As much as I would like to do this more and hear those beautiful screams again and again, I would like to be generous. And I usually am not. But, since you have not only let me hear that voice of yours, but also see those tears, I will give you a chance. Ask me to stop, the right way, and you can go rest.” 

Tony couldn't really see. His breaths sounded wet and rough. His body was shivering from trauma and temperature. ‘Go. To. Hell.” 

This continued for 3 more sessions, and each time Tony would spit a new more creative insult at Khan’s smiling face. It wasn’t until they started using 5 gallon buckets that Tony let out a shaky breath. 

“Stop...please…” he barely whispered, glaring at the blurred wall to avoid the smile that showed down onto him. 

“Oh? What was that?” 

“I said...please...stop...I can’t take...anymore…”

Tony knew he was giving up, he knew that this was the cowards way out, but he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to last with his sanity intact. These maniacs were willing to go until the crack of dawn and Tony surely wouldn't be Tony by then if this continued. 

“What would you like then?”

“To...rest…”

A hand snatched Tony’s chin, forcing him to look into his eyes. “What was that?”

“Please,” Tony gritted out. “Let. Me. Rest. Please.”

“Lovely,” Khan purred, signaling to someone in the corner. “See, now that wasn’t so hard.” Tony rolled his eyes the best he could despite the swelling. “You did very well, Anthony. We shall see each other tomorrow. Soldier.” 

Once Tony heard the sound of a door closing, he released a long shaky breath. All the tension bled from his body in one moment. All walls came crumbling down as tears poured down his eyes like they had broken through dams. Tony shut them in attempts to stop the display of emotion, but he couldn’t. It was too much, all of it. His body hurt, as did his lungs; he was exhausted, and he missed Steve. He missed the family he was building back at the tower. He missed movie night, Clint’s stupid jokes, Thor’s strange references, Natasha’s trining sessions, and mostly Steve. He couldn’t think of anything specific about the man that he missed, but it was mainly everything. He missed the man’s presence, voice, hugs, smile, laugh: everything. 

A sob escaped Tony’s lips as he shook from emotion. A hand gently began to undo the restraint on his ankles and then arms. Once he was free, Tony started to thrash, trying to get away. He needed to get away from here, to get home. 

“Stark...the Doctor’s gone...it’s me...the Soldie-...it’s B-Barnes…”  The last word sounded foreign on Barnes tongue, but Tony didn’t bother with that then. He didn’t care. He wanted Steve. “You’re injured...really bad. I have to get you back to your cell.” 

Tony practically growled, trying to rip his arm from Barnes hold. It was like iron, though, and he didn’t budge. Instead, he sat there, struggling against Barnes, struggling to catch a breath, struggling to block the pain. 

“I need Steve,” Tony whispered with a cracked voice. Another sob ran up his burning throat. “I miss him. I need to go back. I won’t last...any longer.” 

The room was silent and the grip loosened as Tony’s body slumped as it sobbed more. He thought about what he had just gone through. His body was disfigured even more now, and so was his mind, even more so than before. The nightmares would be back forever probably. Tony cried for his broken state, missing Steve, but fearing the man’s reaction to his disgusting condition. Who wanted a broken, beat up, old, anxious man anyway? He wanted Steve so bad, but he knew he would never get him. Hell, Tony loved Steve. There, he admitted it. But none of that mattered anymore, none of it did when Tony was worthless. He would be alone, which is what he was destined to be. All he did was disappoint and receive rejection. 

“I’m sure that ain’t true.” Barnes' voice snapped Tony straight (but not really). His head jerked to stare into his blue eyes as his mouth gaped. 

“I...did not just say that out loud.” Tony groaned, hanging his head down and burying it with his hands. 

“Uh, yeah.”

Once the breakdown was over, Barnes guided Tony’s feet to the floor. One touch though with the broken foot, and he was back to screaming. With much reluctance, Tony was forced to sit in Barnes’ arms like a bride in some cheesy rom-com. 

Despite the embarrassing speech Tony had shoved into his face, Barnes still acted totally casual as he carried the broken man back to the cell. Attaching the chain to his uninjured foot, the Soldier spoke up once more. 

“I have something I think will work. I just need a few more hours to think it through. I know that I don’t belong here, I have a life...or had a life, and a family. Something about that name did something to the programming and this...static in my mind is starting to change. Things come back in flashes and...I need to know what it all means. If you are my only way to do that, then I will help you get out with me. We need to be smart though. Especially with you in this state.” 

The entire time Barnes stared straight into Tony’s eyes as the engineer stared back. All he cared about at this point was getting to Steve. He knew it was selfish, but that was what he needed. “Then let’s do that.” 

Barnes nodded, looking away to the wall as Tony laid down on the mattress with a grimace. 

“The machine will be ready on Sunday.” It was early Saturday morning at that point. “The morning before is when we will make our escape.”

Tony didn’t answer. He just closed his eyes, thinking about his conflicting relationship with hope at that moment. 

Chapter Text

Steve

Flying to the town would have taken about an hour, but with Natasha in the pilot’s seat, it only took about 45 minutes. The entire time everyone rode in silence. The air in the jet was tense and thick, and Steve wallowed in it. All he could think of was Tony in a dark cell, shaking and bloodied. Hydra was a ruthless organization. They would always do whatever they could to get what they wanted. Torture from them was ugly and intense. From Bucky’s descriptions, it sounded like it would be another Afghanistan for Tony, which would mean more nightmares and broken emotions. Steve could handle any amount of that; he would never mind helping Tony through any of that. The thing that made a pit form in his stomach was the fact that Tony would have to go through all of that again. He would have to go through all of that pain, torture and suffering once more, and the thought of Tony hurting like that made Steve’s insides twist and churn. 

“We are a minute out. I have a count of 5 heat signatures so far,” Nat said from the pit as she prepared to land the plane. 

The building was a medium sized warehouse that was sitting in the outskirts of a small rural town. It was surrounded by trees on the east side, but clear on the south. Steve, Clint and Natasha all grabbed their weapons while Thor grabbed his hammer. They had landed in a small clearing in a patch of grass, so they only had to hike a small hill before they could approach the building. 

Steve had his shield in hand, ready for action as he crouched next to Natasha. They stood behind a bush while Clint climbed by a tree that was facing the entrance. By now, the sun was setting, allowing them to blend in with the shadows. A chilling breeze flew by them, but Steve was unturned. His sole focus was aimed at the single metal door. 

“This doesn’t seem right,” Thor whispered as he crouched next to the 2 other Avengers. 

When Steve shot him a glance, Natasha continued for him. “Hydra is a skilled organization that will never die. I find it hard to believe they kidnapped Tony Stark, put him in a building with 4 people and left the door unguarded.” 

Steve turned his head back. “Maybe it’s just a temporary stop before they brought him to another location. Let’s go.”

Without much warning, Steve rushed forward, approaching the door. The frosty grass crunched under his and Thor’s boots, but that was the only sound they made. Natasha followed close behind; her footsteps were pure silence. 

As soon as Steve reached the door, he attacked a small circular device near the knob. A magnet in the device unlocked it, allowing him to open it quietly and peak in. Inside, only half of the yellow lights were on. There was enough for Steve to see though. Enough to see that inside were 5 statues giving out the fake heat signatures. They were in the shape of people, but a blank grey color, probably plastic. 

“Damnit!” Steve yelled as he threw the door open and stalked over to the statues. Natasha hissed his name, but Steve didn’t care. All of this was nothing but a wild goose chase. Swiftly, Steve swung his fist into the closest decoy, sending it flying across the building. It clattered and made a giant echo when it landed against the back wall. “He’s not here. It’s a set up. They knew he had a tracker. They knew .” 

Steve seethed. He was furious not only with Hydra, but himself. He was so stupid to think it would be this easy. And because of his idiocy they wasted all this time already when they could be actually looking for Tony. That voice in his head came back once again, telling him that this is why he didn’t deserve to be close to people. When he did, things like this happened. People got hurt, and he could blame himself only. It all came back to him anyway. He was never going to be strong enough. 

“Steve,” Natasha called softly. The Soldier turned to her, looking at her hand. In it there was a small bug looking device. Tony’s tracker. “Why wouldn’t we go here? Yes they got us, but no one could have known this would happen. This is not your fault.” 

He would have done anything in that moment to believe what she was saying, but he couldn’t. Instead, he pushed down the nausea and raised his head. A dark frown took over his face as he growled. “Call Shield, we’ll head back and regroup.” 

Natasha nodded with a sad look as Thor only watched quietly as Steve pushed past both of them. 

--<>--

Tony

Tony didn’t sleep that night. His body screamed at him to sleep the entire night, but he couldn’t. Not after everything. His mind was racing and his body was throbbing. Barnes stayed in his cell all night, quietly. It didn’t sound like he was sleeping, but if he was, he was silent. He didn’t know what time it was, but suddenly, a hand was laid on his shoulder. The second Tony felt it, he jerked away, turning away from the wall. He yelped and swung with all his might acting only on instinct at the sudden attacker. Both his wrists were caught though, forcing him to open his eyes and see Barnes standing over him. His expression was blank but calm. He quickly sat down so he was at Tony’s level and let go of his wrists once he saw Tony was up. 

“If I didn’t wake you up, they’d get the water again…” he whispered as Tony sat up with several winces.

“Cool…” he grunted in response.

“Khan wants to see you…”

Tony wasn’t surprised, he knew the sadist of a man would want more torture. With a small nod, Barnes helped Tony up so he could limp to the door. He probably looked just as bad as he smelt, but that wasn’t one of his top concerns at that moment. Barnes carried most of Tony’s weight thankfully, holding one of his arms around his shoulders. A guard on the other side unlocked and opened the door. Slowly, they made their way back to hell, but Tony could only remember bits and pieces of the trip, as his vision would black out every now and then. 

When he was strapped to the same damn table a minute later, the trembling started again. Despite all his efforts, his body decided to go rogue. He wasn’t sure if it was the cold, as all he had were pants, or the fear of what was to come. When the door burst open, the trembling got worse and Tony cursed at himself under his breath. 

“Good Morning,” Khan said and Tony didn’t even need to take his eyes off of the wall to hear the smile in his voice. Despite the greeting, neither him or Barnes, who was standing in the corner, answered. “These are healing rather quickly, I might have to open them up again.”

A cold, rough hand brushed against Tony’s calf and various other cuts. On instinct, his body flinched and tensed up at the touch as his eyes remained hardened on the ceiling. Khan snapped on a rubber glove and began to prod each and every one of his wounds. This lasted for what felt like hours before a stabbing pain rose from the gash in Tony’s calf. It hurt so much worse from what he remembered, making him cry out quietly. He cursed himself, but at the same time he couldn’t help it. Doctor Creep was carving a scalpel right into the gash from the day before. It tore through the sloopy stitches and fresh scab. Khan chuckled, but it was hard for Tony to hear over the sound of blood rushing in his ears. 

He did this with almost every cut on his body, and Tony threw up. He vomited right onto the floor, yanking his body up as far as the restaurants allowed so it wouldn’t get on himself. All that came up was bile, so his already burning throat now felt like lava on the Sahara. Khan laughed loudly, stepping back as he moved to lean right over Tony with a smile. 

“See? The breaking has already begun.” 

Tony scowled. “F*ck you. You think I’ll break from some stupid pain? You Hydra f*cks are stupid, huh.”

“Oh, no no no,” Khan said as he shook his head, looking at the door with a smirk. “It’s always physical pain that leaves you shaken. It takes away your stability so the mental pain can break you down. Break all of that pointless hope and spirit to pieces.”

The door opened and Tony braced himself. The waterboarding lasted for...hours. This time, with less breaks. Tony felt like he was going to die. He threw up at least 3 more times before he could only heave and get some water to come up. His throat felt like it was scratched to nothing at this point, and he could barely speak. There was another break, though, where Tony was burned and shocked. His torso was covered in scorch marks while his muscles felt like jelly. At first, he tried to imagine Steve. He imagined different memories, then just his face, and then just his voice. It only took them a couple hours for Tony to be reduced to a screaming broken mess. He soon lost all ability to visualize Steve at all, and instead could only focus on the pain and drowning. He was back in Afghanistan, and every time his body tried to pass out, another shock ran through his muscles, stimulating them to stay awake. 

The entire process left him laying on the table, stiff and frozen. Eyes blurry and glazed over with the tears that ran down his cheeks. He couldn’t think about anything else at that moment, only the pain, cold, and water. 

“Take him back…the cell...tomorrow early we will get…machine...” Voices echoed in and out of Tony’s head, but he didn’t care to listen. He just wanted to rest. 

He laid still, too out of it to fight as something pricked his skin and began to tug. It hurt, but not enough for him to try to get away from it. Instead, he relished the time where he could close his eyes and rest finally. This only lasted a short time and each of the stinging cuts along his body were stitched. Soon the restraints were being loosened, and Tony was being lifted into someone’s arms. He was about to panic, when he felt the one against his bare back. It was cold and hard: metal. Tony slowly ‘relaxed’ as he allowed himself to be carried in Barnes arms once again. 

His mind was a screaming terrified mess at this point. He could do nothing to stop his trembling body as he was carried back down the barren hallways. The rest of the trip escaped his memory, but he presumed that they went back to the cell and rested for the night, or at least tried to. Every so often, Tony’s mind would go into some sort of freakout mode, and he would start screaming, feeling like those stiff cold hands of Khan were all over him again. Imaginary water would fill up his lungs and Tony would lose his breath for what felt like hours. Barnes would try to help, but he didn’t really know how. He would go between sitting in the corner, waiting for the panic attack to stop, or just holding Tony down so he wouldn't tear any of the stitches. For Tony, it felt like he barely had any control of his body. It was kind of like a dream. His mind would wander back to the memories of the Ten Rings and what just happened, causing his body to physically react and try to get any of the people away. His subconscious would ‘watch’ this from deep in his brain while also trying to rest. He was so exhausted and worn out. All he wanted was a few hours of normal sleep and peace. Sadly, his body and emotions got the best of him as they wanted to panic every 30 minutes or so. Thankfully, the spasms soon dissolved into the night and Tony felt some sort of restless sleep coming. 

Right as this happened, though, his shoulder was grabbed and lightly shook. In turn, this triggered another attack. 

“Stark...it’s Barnes...it’s just Barnes…” The hand disappeared as Tony opened his eyes to see those crystal eyes staring at him. They seemed to be filled with concern and remorse. 

“What?!” Tony asked harsher than intended. “Is it morning already?”

“No...but they are going to be coming soon. Thought I’d wake you before they did...since those fits don’t seem very fun.” 

Tony just hummed and leaned against the cold wall. His head was still spinning, and his body still trembled. 

“I have them too…” Barnes paused, looking away to the door as he sat on the floor a few feet from Tony. “The panic attacks. I have them about missions...sometimes about your parents…” 

That caught Tony’s attention. He looked up with swollen eyes at Barnes who had his head down now at the floor. He sounded broken...very broken, and despite the rage Tony felt at the idea that this was his parent’s murderer, he also felt sympathy. The person who killed his parents was a programmed monster, and although that was still inside Barnes, there was still a person, a soul, in there. Barnes was trying hard to break through and that was showing through with his efforts to help Tony and break free from Hydra. He wasn’t the man who killed his parents, but he was paying for it and Tony could see that through his obvious guilt and shame. He couldn’t even look Tony in the eyes. 

“You remember?” 

Barnes nodded. “I remember all of them…” his voice was only a whisper now, full of shame. “At night, I can’t sleep. When I do I…”

“You relive it. See everything and you can’t escape it…” Tony finished for him, looking back to the door. “I hate...I hate you. I hate that you were the one who took my parents from me and now I’m stuck with you. I’m stuck here with you to see me like...this.” Anger leaked through Tony’s voice as he gestured to his busted foot and beaten body. “But...I also know that it wasn’t you who took them from me. It was Hydra. And if you get us out of here...I want to help you.”

Barnes' eyes shot up as they widened with shock. 

Tony sighed. “As much as I hate you right now, and I don’t mean I hate you, I just hate what you were forced to do and how I can’t blame you...I know that you don’t deserve to be hated. You don’t deserve to feel all of that guilt for something that you were forced to do. And I know you probably either miss Steve or need to see him as it may help your memory, so you should come with me.” 

Quiet followed Tony’s proposal as the Soldier looked down in thought, so Tony continued. 

“Maybe that sounds better than going on the run hand in hand with your brooding emo self.”

“...it...it does. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable-”

“Shut up, trust me if you don’t come with me and let me help you then my stupid concious would go haywire.” 

Finally a small smile drew across Barnes' face. “Alright.” 

Another few minutes past as the two men sat in a comfortable silence. It was soon disrupted by the door being banged on, and someone yelling for them to get to the warehouse. With most of the work on Barnes’ part, Tony finally stood up and was able to limp into the hallway. 

“So when is your plan going to happen?” Tony whispered through his clenched teeth at the raging pain. 

“As soon as we get in there. You’ll know it when it starts.” 

Tony could work with that. Soon they made their way back to the giant door and into the warehouse where Khan and the other scientists were already waiting. Tony kept his head low as he was half dragged to the rusted bed frame once again. Khan was saying something to him, but Tony was too focused trying not to put his weight on his busted foot to listen. Monologuing was the worst. The metal felt ice cold as the engineer’s hands were pressed against it to be tied near his head. Barnes kept his stare cold and distant as he worked on the strap across Tony’s abdomen. Tony wasn’t too sure how this ‘plan’ would turn out or what he should be doing, but part of him trusted Barnes. He knew that this was his only chance and he was desperate enough to put everything he had into it. 

“...so that is where you come into play, Stark. You will be our little battery so we can harness this power. Of course I won’t be telling you what we will be doing with it, but it will give Hydra the lead we need against Shield .” Khan seemed to spit the word ‘Shield’ as Tony snapped his attention finally back to the weirdo. “This is a power from the Gods themselves, you should be grateful to ever be a part of it. This shouldn't take much time. Once we are done here, we can start the reprogramming for you. Won’t that be exciting?”

Tony kept his mouth shut as he glared at Barnes. This plan better work you bastard. 

“Everyone ready?” Khan announced as a girl with blond hair in a tight bun inserted the wires back into Tony’s reactor. 

Shutting his eyes, Tony braced himself for pain that would never come. A second later, the lights flickered and alarms started blaring. All heads in the room shot up with panicked looks. Khan looked up, eyes wide as he frowned. It wasn’t until the lights shut completely off that everyone started moving. Scientists scurried to grab papers and run to the door. Khan, however, stayed calm as he swiftly walked towards the exit. 

“Soldier, watch him until I get back. Understood?” 

Barnes nodded and walked up to station next to Tony, who was looking around violently. Once the lab was empty, Barnes’ body shot into action. His face changed from zombie looking to adrenaline filled, this seemed like a good sign to Tony. Barnes was actually trying to fight this Hydra programming hard. In a flurry, he leaned over to one of the trays off to the side, snatching a scalpel and a towel. 

“Put this in your mouth. It’s going to hurt,” he grunted while shoving the cloth between Tony’s teeth. 

Right. The tracker. Tony thought as he gripped the bed frame and tilted his head back. As soon as the blade hit the fresh wound under his arm, Tony screamed into the foul smelling cloth. It stung like a bitch, but eventually, Barnes was able to dig the tracking device out of his arm in record time. As soon as that was done and another towel was tied around the dripping wound, Barnes furiously snapped each of the straps on Tony’s body and tore the wires from the reactor. Without warning, he forced Tony’s good(ish) arm over his shoulders and practically ran to the door while Tony hopped. 

“I had some people plant some explosions on the other side of the base. It should stall them for a bit while we get the hell out of here,” Barnes explained, zigzagging through hallways and doorways as Tony tried to keep the contents of his stomach down. 

“Awesome,” Tony grunted, watching as a doorway with an exit sign appeared in their path. He internally praised everything holy for them getting this far. “But...I’m just slowing you...down.”

Barnes only grunted in response. He paused for a moment, adjusting his grip on Tony, and without much warning, threw him into a fireman's carry over his shoulders. With that set, Barnes broke into a full sprint now, busting through the door. “I left your tracker in the lab. Someone I know will pick it up and set it somewhere so they’ll be off our trail for a while.” 

Tony could only listen as he gripped Barnes’ shoulder tightly in pain. His ribs and lungs were screaming as his stomach was getting ready to physically express it’s own opinion about the current events. Outside was pitch black and from what Tony could see, they were surrounded by giant pine trees. They must have ran for hours like that in several directions until they hit a road. Tony felt like he might’ve passed out a few times during their travels, but honestly he didn’t remember. His vision was wavy and spotted, so he wasn’t sure about anything anymore. 

“Do you know how to contact your team?” Barnes' voice sounded like a distant echo, slowly drawing Tony from his haze. 

Looking up, he saw they were standing behind a small gas station. Since when had Barnes put Tony back on the ground and upright? It was still dark, but the sun looked to be rising in the distance. "Is there a pay phone somewhere?”

With more assistance, Tony was taken to the front where a rusted phone lay, having been only used for decoration for the past decade. Shaking hands pried open the key pad and with some fiddling around in the wires, Tony picked up the receiver and started to dial the only number he knew by heart. It rang for ages before there was a beep on the other end. 

“Hello, this is Pepper Potts.”

“Oh, thank gosh, Pepper. Hope there weren’t anymore tears for your long lost boss.”

Chapter Text

Steve

“We still know nothing !? I thought you future people had technology and...and things to save people?! What the hell is going on? Do we know anything?” Steve was livid. He had never been angrier in his entire life. It had been nearly 4 days and they still had nothing to go off of. Tony was still missing, and no one could even tell him if the man was alive or dead at this point. He had already cried himself to pieces embarrassingly enough, and now he was just angry. He remembered the night they had come back to Shield after the dead end with Tony’s tracker. Fury had said they should go back to the tower to regroup since they were still working on getting more information. That ended in a giant fight where the super soldier had to be physically dragged from the room by Thor. He sat in his and Tony’s room back at the tower on the bed while the others rested. Immediately the emotions started to take control and he started to break down. Steve collapsed on the bed in a sobbing screaming mess. 

He was full of guilt, anger, sadness and worry and it was too much. It was all too overwhelming. He couldn’t lose Tony too. If he did, he wasn’t sure he could go on. All of the work he had put in to adapt to the times and to move on in his life was all for Tony. He did it all with Tony, how was he supposed to keep going without him? The thought of Tony suffering alone, inches from death made the contents of his stomach swish. His imagination was killing him as all he could see was Tony's broken body on the floor of a cell, praying for help but getting none. 

The sound of the door opening made him freeze before he shot up and wiped his eyes furiously.

“Hey,” Natasha’s soft voice announced as she slowly approached Steve slumped form. “I was going to ask how you were doing, but I think I have the answer.”

She sat next to him, softly.  “Yeah…”

For a few minutes, they were both silent, just sitting next to one another. Tears still continued to ride down Steve’s cheeks with no sign of stopping. With a deep breath, he tried to wipe them again before whispering, “...I just miss him...so much.”

“I know-”

The spike of anger that shot through the super soldier caused him to lash out and cut the redhead off. “ No! You don't know ! I miss him in such a way...it hurts, Natasha. It hurts so damn much that I feel something so...intense for him and he doesn’t even know it. And the thought of him dying before knowing that literally kills me everyday he’s gone. I miss him so much because he...he’s something so special to me. And I...I love him damn it! I love him so damn much and I can’t help it. I want him to know so bad, I want him to be okay, I want him with me! Right now, in my arms so he can be safe. But I failed. I failed like I always do with everyone in my life and he’s gone. Who knows how long it’s going to take to get him back, even if we do.”

He paused to take a breath. As he started to stand suddenly during his speech without realizing it, towering over Natasha who stared up at him with analyzing eyes. His nails dug painfully into his palm as he waited for her to say something. When she remained silent, he looked away, eyes burning with tears.

“He needs to know that I love him,” he whispered in a defeated tone.

“Then tell him.”

“How am I supposed to-”

“Shut the hell up, Steve. Your Captain f*cking America. Why the hell are you giving up now? If you loved him truly then you wouldn’t give up yet. You’d keep trying to get to him. And screw it, you’ve done plenty of courting or wooing or whatever you call that. I'm tired of the two of you dancing around each other, playing tag or whatever game you do. You need to show your damn feelings already. ”

An audible snap sounded as Steve shut his mouth loudly. His nostrils flared with the deep breaths he was taking. She had been right. And that was exactly what Steve needed to hear in that moment.

“And you aren’t going to do that half starved and sleep deprived. So...Steve, listen, I understand what you mean. When they took Clint...I felt the same way. He’s my best friend, and it may be a different kind of love than the one between you and Tony, but it’s just as strong, trust me. We are going to do everything we can to get him back. I promise you that. So get some sleep and eat something. For Tony. Then we can go back and we’ll keep working. All of us. Together.”

A small, sad smile overtook Steve’s face as he looked back down at Natasha, who was now standing in front of him. Gently, she placed her hands on his shoulders. A delicate thumb brushed his tears from his cheeks. She hugged him wholeheartedly in her strong arms, rubbing circles in his back. He returned the hug and leaned into her, whispering back a soft, “Together.”

As he yelled at the helicarrier now, it was causing agents to scramble for answers. He stood in his uniform, hands on his hips and body radiating pure determination. After a night of at least a couple hours of sleep and some food, he finally had enough energy to pursue this with a focused mindset. 

“I’m working on it, Steve. It’s going to take a while to scan through every dock and traffic camera in Massachusetts for this damn boat,” Bruce sighed as he typed on a computer furiously. Hill was right next to him as she stared at a screen intensely. 

They had all been working continuously and were all tired and stressed. So far they had no leads whatsoever. The cameras near the warehouse had all been destroyed so there was no way of knowing where the Hydra Agents who set that up went off to. Fury had agents scanning all the cameras planted near the known Hydra bases for anything. The tension in the air was heavy with the anxiety from everyone, but mostly from Steve. His anxiety came off as stern anger though, generating fear from the other agents who were afraid that Steve was about to strangle each and every one of them any second. Just as the soldier was about to scream again, the door burst open to reveal a furious strawberry haired woman with a flustered Clint trailing behind juggling what looked like Pepper's handbag, suitcase, and coat. 

The archer made eye contact with Steve as he mouthed, "I'm so scared. Please help me."

“You are telling me that none of you have found him yet? None?!” her volume seemed to match Steve’s as she stormed right up to Fury, staring him right in the eye. 

“Ms. Potts, we are working-”

“Then work faster! I swear I can’t go through this again. You promised that each and every one of you and your little minion agents would watch him and make sure this wouldn't happen! But here we are.”

So this was the famous Pepper that Steve always heard about. She was a tall, gorgeous lady with the essence of pure power and confidence. For a moment, she reminded Steve of Peggy, and he felt his heart swell at the thought of her. In any other situation, Steve would introduce himself happily, but now wasn’t the time. Especially as she was having a screaming match with Fury. Instead, he turned his attention back to Bruce. He watched as the computer scanned through several more cameras before the yelling behind him finally ceased. 

Steve looked up to see Fury finishing a now normal toned conversation with Pepper, and then going back to talking with other agents. Pepper walked over to Natasha and began to talk with her instead. Her sharp, freckled face was flushed as her eyes were filled with unshed tears. After a few seconds of Steve staring, she looked up to him. The moment they made eye contact, Steve whipped his eyes back down, but still watched her out of the corner of his eye. She smiled at Nat before making her way over to Steve. A cold sweat hit Steve’s skin as he tried to compose himself. He stood up straight as the clicking of her heels became louder and louder. 

“Steve Rogers I presume?” even her voice was full of confidence despite the situation.

“That’s correct, ma’am.” he responded, holding out a hand.

“Oh please, call me Pepper. I’m not that old yet,” she laughed, taking his hand. 

As she spoke, the tension slowly bled from Steve’s shoulders. “It’s nice to meet you finally.”

“I could say the same for you...Tony talked endless about you,” she rolled her eyes with a huff of a laugh. 

Steve laughed as well, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I can’t imagine how this must be for you.” Before Steve could protest, Pepper waved her hand. “Trust me, I’ve been through this plenty of times before. I also know how much you feel for him.”

She paused, giving him a skeptical look. 

“And I know how much he feels for you.”

Steve’s heart skipped 3 beats at what she said. “H-he feels for me?”

She laughed again. As she shook her head, her red ponytail swished back and forth. “It’s practically obvious to everyone but the 2 of you...I’ve never seen him care for someone in this way before.”

He...cared for Steve? Steve’s heart seemed to freeze at the hope that Tony might actually care for him the same way Steve did for him. Now he had to find Tony. 

“From what I’ve heard, you seem like a great person, Steve. So if Tony caught feelings for anyone, I’m glad for it to be you. But I swear if you ever hurt him in any way, I will track you down and hurt you 10 times worse. Don’t underestimate me.”

Her tone turned vicious as she threw threats at him. No matter his super soldier status, Steve would still admit that she did scare him to his core at that moment. It was the kind of fear that he got when Peggy would be stern with him or when Natasha lectured him. With a sharp gulp, he nodded with wide eyes. “I could never imagine hurting him.”

She smiled sweetly. “Good. God knows the man has already been hurt too much before.”

“I-” before Steve could get another word out, her phone began to ring. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. That must be Japan. I had to leave right in the middle of making a contract with them,” she said as she turned on her phone to see an unknown number.  “Hello, this is Pepper Potts.”

A voice on the other end said something too quietly for Steve to hear, but he watched as Pepper’s face melted as her mouth gaped. 

“Tony?! Oh my gosh, please tell me that is you?” She cried. 

Tony?! Was that Tony?! Their Tony?!

“You son of a bitch, I swear I’m going to kill you when you get back here. Where the hell are you? Are you okay?”

Everyone’s heads suddenly froze and turned to look at Pepper. Bruce flew from his chair as he whisper yelled. “I have to track the call! I have to track the call! I can track the call to find him!”

“Anthony! Can you hear me?!” Thor suddenly popped out of nowhere, and started yelling at the phone. Bruce shoved him back as Hill pulled Pepper over to the computer where her phone was plugged in and put on speaker. 

“-at some gas station near some woods. I’m okay, but we need some medical attention. I think...wait, where are we?” There was a pause and another distant voice before Tony came back. “Massachusetts I guess.”

The sound of Tony’s voice was like a breath of oxygen for Steve after barely breathing for the past 3 days. 

“Anthony! Is that you?!” Thor yelled, his hair still wet from a shower as it dripped all over the desk.

“Ow, gosh, yes, Thor. Volume please.”

“Tony, you said 'we'? Who's with you?” Bruce asked as Steve also rushed over to see where the tracker would show up on the computer.

“Um...long story actually. I’ll tell you when you get your asses over here. He’s good though. He's on our side. He actually helped me get out of that hell hole. And hi Bruce. I miss you, baby.”

Bruce smiled as he shook his head and typed on the computer furiously. “I miss you too, buddy.”

“Tony? Can you hear me?’ Steve asked tentatively.

“Steve? Yeah I hear-” suddenly, the line went silent and started to crackle. 

“Hang on! I’ve got his location! I think the line’s going dead.” Bruce said as he finally got a ping on the computer. The line went dead right then, covering the entire room in silence. 

“Alright." Steve sucked in a breath of air after 3 days of holding it. He puffed his chest out and looked to his team. "Send the location to the quinjet, Hill. Bruce, Thor, Nat and Clint, come with me. We’re going to get him. Now.”

The 30 minute ride felt like hours as Steve sat in his seat feeling a mixture of emotions. He was anxious, excited, enraged and relieved. By the time they landed, all of these feelings were replaced with overwhelming happiness. The back door of the jet couldn’t open fast enough. When it did, the sun was beginning to rise, lighting the sky with blue and pink colors. They had landed in a small parking lot next to a tiny gas station surrounded by dark woods. The area was silent, there weren’t even birds around to give the scene some sort of life. The station seemed abandoned as did everything around it. 

“Tony?! Tony, I’m here!” Steve yelled as he ran out of the jet. The station was boarded up and it didn’t look like anyone had broken in. “Tony, it’s Steve!” 

As Steve’s eyes scanned the area, he finally found something near the back wall of the station. In the dark shadows of dawn, Steve saw 2 figures huddled against the wall. His eyes immediately spotted Tony’s form, laying on the ground in a curled ball. His head was in someone’s lap as he seemed to sleep. There were dark circles under his eyes that Steve could see from where he was 10 feet away. He only wore dark pants and nothing else. His chest was on full display, covered in puffy cuts and splotchy bruises. Steve’s eyes traveled down his form to see his right foot. It looked horribly swollen and crooked, making him cringe. 

Shaking himself out of his haze, Steve stepped forward only to have a gun in his face. 

“Stay back,” the voice that came from behind the gun was rough and dark. Steve was about to shoot out some insult, but stopped when his eyes finally looked at the other person. The other person who suddenly hooked an arm around Tony, pulling him protectively against his chest. Tony cried out in pain, suddenly waking up. His gorgeous brown eyes flew open as he stared wildly at Steve and all the others behind him. The person growled at the sight of them. “сделай шаг назад, иначе я буду стрелять.”

Steve wanted nothing more than to rush forward and grab Tony in his arms. He desperately wanted to take Tony away from this (russian?) man, but something stopped him right in his boots. It was those eyes. The person’s deep blue familiar eyes. The man had a familiar rugged face and long dirty brown hair. His left arm that held the gun was fully encased in silver metal. But his face, it was something that Steve never thought he'd see again. 

“B...Bucky… is that you?” 

The man only stared at him, occasionally glancing at Tony. 

“Steve! Thank-oh!” Tony started to speak, but it made ‘Bucky’ squeeze him tighter. “Robo Cop, let me go. It’s fine, it’s just Steve. You remember Steve, right?”

The man slowly lowered the gun along with his eyes almost shamefully. His grip on Tony loosened as the smaller man attempted to wiggle out from his side. Bruce came out of the corner of his eye, crouching down near Tony. 

“Bucky?” Steve practically whispered. The man looked up with confused eyes. What the hell was this? He looked...exactly like Bucky. But..he also didn’t at the same time. 

Bruce was inspecting Tony’s foot carefully as the engineer moved himself so he was leaning against imposter Bucky for support. “Hey, Barnes, it’s ok. That’s just Steve. Remember?”

So it was Bucky. “Bucky?” Steve tried again, his voice cracking from the confusion and sudden appearance of his best friend. 

Slowly, Barnes stood up, helping Tony lean against the wall rather than himself. His hands twitched as his eyes flickered over the ground. “I...I don’t remember much. I’m sorry.”

“Is...is it you? It's really you? You’re … alive?” Steve’s voice cracked at the last word. He was so confused.

Bucky only nodded. 

“Steve, I’m sorry, but…,” Steve looked over to see Bruce holding up Tony. Tony’s eyes were now half closed as he slumped in Bruce’s arms. “Tony’s not looking so good. I think he might have infections. They’re bad. He needs real medical attention. A hospital.” 

No matter what was happening, Tony was his first priority. Tony would always be his first priority. Steve’s body jerked suddenly over to Tony’s. He carefully laid his hand over Tony’s cheek and then forehead. He had a fever and it was getting worse. 

“Steve…” Tony said quietly. His half lidded eyes stared up at Steve as he weakly grabbed his uniform. “I’m glad you came.”

Steve smiled in return, lightly pressing his forehead to Tony’s. “I’ll never leave you. I’m going to take care of you now, okay?"

Tony nodded as he shut his eyes. With ease, Steve was able to lift Tony up into his arms. He was lighter than normal and trembled against his body. His breathing was shallow and shaky, making Steve’s nerves grow worse. As he walked back to the jet, he looked to Bucky.

“I...I’m just here for him. I want to make sure he’ll be okay,” Bucky said quietly as he followed Steve closely. “Please.”

A tug on the front of his uniform pulled Steve from his thoughts. He quickly turned his head to look down at Tony. “It’s okay. I trust him. It was Hydra...they turned him into a weapon with brainwashing and crap. He-” Tony was cut off as he coughed violently. 

“Okay. I trust you, Tones.” Steve turned back to Bucky with a soft smile. “Come on. Til the end of th-"

Before he could finish, a giant explosion threw all of them off of their feet and onto the pavement. 

Chapter Text

Steve

There was a loud high pitched ringing in Steve's ears as he tried to open his eyes. He was laying on his side on what felt like pavement. His head was spinning, but he forced himself to lift it. His hand stung from being scraped on the ground when he was thrown, but he pressed it against the pavement anyway to try and lift himself up. Looking around, he saw Natasha and Clint lying on the ground about 15 feet from him. Thor had been the closest whatever hit them and was lying about 30 feet from Steve. He seemed conscious as he moved his arms to try and lift himself up.

Tony.

Frantically, Steve scanned the scene for the genius, spotting his limp form to the right about 20 feet from him. He wasn't moving and there was a small pool of blood near his leg. Steve's heart hammered in his chest as he pulled his body onto his elbows. He couldn't lose Tony, not when he was this close. As he was trying to drag himself over to the brunette, a group of men scurried from the front of the gas station. They were all dressed in black with helmets, guns and hydra symbols on their sleeves. One man was leading them in the front. He wore similar black gear, but with no helmet, so his orange hair and thin smirk were on full display. The men scattered in a semi circle around the avengers, aiming their weapons. 

"Oh, Anthony, was I too rough on you? Was that why you ran away?" The man asked as he approached Tony's form. 

Steve watched as Tony shifted away from the man as he crouched in front of him. At least he was alive and conscious. 

“You...bastard-” 

Before Tony could finish, a sickening smack cut him off. The ginger had struck Tony’s face as he chuckled. “If you thought I went easy before-”

“Get away from him. Now.” Steve pushed his aching body against the ground, forcing himself to stand. Reaching behind him, he felt his hand brush against the cool metal of his shield. Thankfully the strap stayed secured, so at least he was still armed. Seeing Tony, his Tony, be abused by this Hydra lunatic sent spikes of rage through Steve’s body, numbing the pain in his leg. This must have been the sick Hydra bastard that tortured Tony. 

The other agents stepped forward slowly, but stopped once the ginger held up a hand. He looked from Tony to Steve almost in slow motion, his expression remaining the same as it had been before. With a dark smile, he peered at Steve, who now had his shield in hand, knees bent, ready for the kill. 

“What did you say to me?”

Steve’s blue eyes narrowed as he tried to stand his ground. He knew what kind of man this guy was. He was the kind who got enjoyment from the torturing of others, the sick kind that killed for fun, who had no sense of a conscience. “I said. Get away from him. Before I beat your skull into the ground.” 

Tony’s body shook slightly with what seemed to be a chuckle. It was probably at Steve's attempt to sound threatening, and it probably did sound threatening to those who didn't know his kind, bashful personality. The chuckle made Steve feel a drop of calmness settle in his hurricane of a stomach, nonetheless. Looking back up to the ginger, Steve narrowed his eyes, bent his knees, and prepared for either a hit or to launch a hit. 

“I see, so we are going to do this the hard way?” 

“Won’t be that hard for me, don’t know what to tell you though.” Some confidence began to flood his chest as Steve looked his opponent up and down. He was built, sure, but he was obviously a scientist of some kind. He most likely rarely saw combat which gave Steve an advantage along with the serum of course. 

At an agonizingly slow pace, the man rolled his murky eyes and began to strip his lab coat. It fell to the dirt like a parachute, revealing giant muscles on his arms and upper body. He crouched, matching Steve’s position with a wicked smirk. His teeth were so white, one could practically see their reflection in them. Shit. Maybe Steve’s observations were wrong. This guy had to know who Steve was and he was cocky enough to stand up to him by himself. Even though there had to have been around 50 other guards behind him, he seemed to be taking Steve on himself. Something was up here, but he couldn’t tell. 

Before the patriot could step forward, his opponent’s eyes flickered to his right. They widened as his brows tilted downward. “Now this is surprising.” 

Steve glanced to the side, seeing Bucky standing next to him, about 5 feet away. He was also standing as if he was going to join the fight with them. 

“Soldier?” The man asked with an amused tone. 

“His name is Khan," Bucky said quietly to Steve without taking his electric eyes off of Khan. "He became a Hydra scientist after he was one of their test subjects. He has the same serum in him as the one that’s in me. It’s identical to yours. Heightened strength and durability."  

There’s the twist. “Got it. Guess I could use all the help I could get then.”

Bucky only grunted, shifting his foot slightly. 

“Cap,” Clint’s voice chimed from behind him. Steve glanced to his left and saw Clint with his bow drawn and Natasha with her widow bites raised. Thor was walking over with a small limp, joining the spies with Mjolnir ready. Bruce was standing behind them, far enough away, unsure if releasing the Hulk would be any help with Tony in this condition. They needed to be careful, strategic in this situation. He would need medical attention on their way back anyway.  “We’ve got the others. You guys just take down this bastard.” 

“Fine,” Steve said as he glanced back to Bucky. “Ready?”

Bucky smirked as he lunged forward. His fist landed on Khan’s forearm as he blocked it and landed a hit into Bucky’s abdomen. Barnes stumbled back, but pulled a knife from his back and swung it towards the man’s side. He missed the first few times, so Steve ran forward, driving his shield into Khan’s center, knocking him back. This caught him off guard enough so Barnes could graze him with the weapon. 

Khan gave out a grunt as he threw a punch at Bucky. As he was distracted, Steve used his leg to land another hit at his wound. Khan seemed to only absorb the hit as he backed up and charged at Steve. At the last minute he flew himself to the left to avoid Steve’s shield. He used an uppercut punch to nail Steve in the jaw. Steve stumbled back and was tripped by Khan’s legs. He rolled to the left as Khan’s hand slammed into the ground where his head once was. Bucky came up behind him and pulled him off of Steve by the shirt. Suddenly, Khan backflipped and threw himself behind Barnes so he could nail him in the back. Bucky fell to his knees, giving Steve an opportunity to throw his shield at the man, right over where Bucky knelt. Khan collapsed, clutching his shoulder as Steve caught his shield again. Bucky twisted and lunged at him again with the knife. It grazed his arm but soon flew from Bucky’s hand as Khan knocked it to the side. As it clattered near where Tony was army crawling to the side, Barnes took turns with Khan as they threw punches back and forth. Steve once again, tucked behind his shield as he knocked Khan to the side. 

As soon as he did this, pain shot out from his calf. Looking down, he saw a bullet had gone straight through the back of it. About 20 feet away, a hydra agent was aiming a gun at them. He was surrounded by bodies of other agents as well as Natasha and Clint, currently trying to fend off 3 other goons while Thor was beating the shit out of one with a giant gun. Bucky pulled out another knife, throwing it towards the agent. It lodged right into his shoulder just as Steve threw the shield, knocking him unconscious. 

“Steve!” 

Steve’s ears perked up at the sound of his name. He looked up to see Bruce at the quinjet, pointing behind them. His eyes flew to where they were being directed and he saw Khan smirking. He had pulled out a small handgun and was pointing it towards Tony’s head. The engineer seemed to be half conscious, but awake enough to grimace in pain. His eye was bruised and swollen as it stared straight at Steve.

“Don’t move, or my finger may slip.” Khan had his other arm wrapped around Tony’s neck, choking him slightly. “Or...if you don’t back down in time, he may bleed out.”

Steve’s eyes flickered down and his breath caught in his throat. The knife that Bucky dropped was embedded in Tony’s abdomen. Without a shirt, Steve could see the blood pouring from the wound, mixing with the dirt below them. Steve huffed as he lowered the shield and raised his hands. Bucky stood next to him, snarled, and dropped the other knife he was holding. Khan chuckled, loosening his grip on Tony. 

“Now, if you let us go all quiet like, I’ll treat him myself, and he’ll come back with me to finish what we started. Or, you could choose to wait as his body loses even more blood than I took already. Or, option 3, you take one more step and I lodge a bullet in his head. Then no one gets him.”

“Or option 4…,” they all looked down to Tony in disbelief as he gripped the knife in his own stomach. “You underestimate the genius and he kicks your ass.”

In one solid movement, Tony pulled the knife out of himself and lodged it into Khan’s arm that was holding the gun. As soon as Tony was let go, he grabbed the gun from Khan’s hand, shooting his right shoulder several times. It gave Steve enough time to rush forward and knock his shield into the bastard’s head. There was a sickening crunch as he was thrown onto the ground, unconscious. 

Tony let out a gasp and began to fall backwards. Just in time, Steve caught him in his arms. Tony cried out as he released a wet cough. 

“Oh my gosh..Tony, I-I’m here now,” Steve said as he felt emotions bubble in his throat. 

Tony chuckled despite the line of blood leaking through his lips. “I’m...sorry that...I missed dinner.”

A sad laugh left Steve’s throat. “Don’t be sorry because when we get back you’re going to recover, and I’ll make the best damn carbonara you’ve had. Better than when I first made it. Okay?”

Tony only shook his head as his hand came up. It streaked blood down Steve’s cheek as it stroked the side of his face. 

“Tony, you have to say ok, You’re going to be ok. You can’t give up now, okay? Tony! You have to tell me that you’re going to be ok!”

Steve’s tears fell and started to mix with Tony’s own blood on his face. They splattered down, drip by drip, sliding across the smooth area of Tony's cheek. He finally got Tony in his arms again, he saved him, but was it too late? He never thought that it would come to this. He never thought that he would have to watch Tony be ripped from his arms right as he saved him. He never thought he would have to lose another love in his life. Not again. Not Tony. 

“Don’t you f*cking give up on me! Not when I just got you back! I swear Tony you can’t do this! Don’t leave me! You promised me you’d be here, you promised you'd stay with me! Stay with me!”

His eyes slowly fluttered closed as his wet breathing stopped. 

“No dammit! No!”

Steve laid Tony down on the ground as he started chest compressions. He barely noticed as Barnes kneeled next to him, pressing a cloth onto the stab wound as Steve pumped his heart for him. After 30 compressions, he pressed his lips to Tony’s and blew 2 long breaths into his lungs. 

“Please!” Steve could barely see at this point as the tears started to cloud his vision. His own breaths began to get quick and shallow as panic took it’s hold on his chest. “Please no.”

It felt like hours went by as Steve cried as he performed CPR. Hope was running on empty, but Steve wouldn't accept it. He had to keep trying. He had to, he was so close. Tony was right there . Natasha and Clint stood beside them as did Bruce as they watched Steve try to save Tony’s life. Thor was standing with Banner, resting a hand on his shoulder. They all stared, chests heavy with despair and throats closing with sorrow. Realistically, it was almost an hour before a hand was laid on Steve’s shoulder. His movements had become slow and sloppy at this point, but the determination was still there. He wouldn’t give up on Tony; he would never give up on Tony. He had to keep going. Tony was still there. He could be saved. 

“Steve…” it was Natasha. “It’s time.” 

He shook his head as he went back to compressions. “No...no it’s not. He’s still here, I can feel it.”

“Steve,” Clint this time. “He’s gone...there’s nothing else. We did everything we-”

“No we didn’t! I didn’t! I can still save him! He's right in front of me! I can do it!”

2 more breaths. 

Another hand laid itself on his other shoulder. This time it was Barnes. Steve glanced wildly at his eyes. He didn’t say anything, only looked at him with a dead expression. Steve released a sob as he looked down at Tony’s face. His eyes were closed, surrounded by pale skin and dead lips. Steve’s hands started to slow down their movements as his shoulders slumped. He could only stare at that face, that beautiful face. The face that would never light up at the sight of Steve. It would never laugh that gorgeous laugh. It would never pout it’s cute lips in confusion as it scrunched it’s nose as it worked. It would never be Tony again. Steve would never have Tony again. 

No more pillow fights. No more late night movies or conversations. No more early morning comforting after a nightmare. No more drawing that beautiful body as Steve could look directly at it as he drew. It would have to be by memory. Everything would have to be by memory now, just like the rest of his life. Just like Bucky, Peggy and the commandos. Just like how it always was and how it would probably always have to be. Because Tony, his Tony, was gone. He failed. Again.

“But I love him dammit! I love him so much! He can’t do this to me! I love him!” as he punctuated the last of his words, he pounded his fist probably harder than he should have into Tony’s chest where his still heart was. 

Suddenly, those dead lips opened as they gasped in air. On their own. Almond brown eyes shot open as they panicky searched Steve’s face. Tony breathed, his heart beat, and he was alive. He was alive.

“You’re alive,” Steve whispered through his sobs. “You’re alive!” 

As carefully as he could, Steve held Tony back into his arms, pressing his trembling body into his chest, carding his hands through his hair. He felt Tony’s chest expand as it took in more air, as it breathed.

“Please tell me...nobody kissed me…” Tony groaned into Steve’s shoulder between deep breaths.  

Clint threw his head back in a wet laugh, wiping his own tears. “Sorry pal, but we can’t say no this time.” 

Tony groaned, pushing at Steve slightly. “You’re gonna get snot all over me, Steve. And why is everyone crying?”

Steve looked down at Tony in his arms. Tony, who was alive, in his arms. He had no words or excuses left, only one thing that he had to do. He lost all control and finally gave into his instincts. With the energy he had left, he cupped Tony’s cheek carefully, and gently pulled their faces closer together. He breathed as Tony did and watched for any protest. When he got non, he leaned forward. Tony’s eyes were half closed as he leaned forward and their lips met finally. Tony’s lips moved against Steve’s beautifully as Steve took all he could from the man. The kiss was passionate but charming. It carried everything from the past year through it as Steve tilted Tony’s head up to swipe his tongue against Tony’s bottom lip. It was unlike anything he had ever done before. It was different, but beautiful, like everything he had done with Tony. Steve's heart was exploding in his chest as he absorbed everything in that moment, the feeling of Tony against him, the way he tasted, the way he smelled even.

They soon released each other, Tony practically gasped for air as he stared into Steve’s eyes. His expression was confused, overwhelmed but passionate and loving if he dared to say that. Just as Steve felt his cheeks reddening as he felt like it was a mistake, Tony grabbed Steve’s blond hair from the back of his head and pulled him back in. They kissed one more time, this time with a smirk playing on Tony’s as he exhaled into Steve’s mouth. 

Steve pulled back again, not wanting to strain Tony even more and watched his face for a reaction. His pupils were blown and his lips were swollen and parted. They formed a smirk as tears brimmed his lids. 

“Tony..I…-”

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that, Rogers,” Tony laughed as a tear escaped his eye. 

Steve smiled feeling his own tears continue their journey down his face. He carefully swiped his thumb under Tony’s eye, running it over the pink blush on his tan skin. “I love you, Tony.”

Steve could have punched himself in that moment. In the moment that he just completely ruined. Before he could cover it up or take it back, Tony laughed happily. “I love you too.”

Once Tony said that, he finished it with a small peak on Steve’s lips again before leaning back into Steve’s arms again. He closed his eyes, exhaling in exhaustion. His breath sounded raspy and short, causing all relief in Steve to vanish. It was replaced by sudden concern and slight panic. He lost Tony twice already, once for real; there was no way in hell that he was going to lose Tony again from distraction. He needed medical attention. Immediately. 

“Alright, Steve, I need you to carry Tony to the jet. Carefully.” Bruce moved to kneel next to Tony, examining the stab wound and listening to his breathing. 

“We can stay behind to restrain these bastards,” Clint said, gesturing to the scattered, unconscious Hydra agents. “We called Fury so they should be here any minute with back up.”

“Apparently the guy Buck and I were fighting is a Hydra scientist with some sort of enhancing serum and- Dammit! Where is he?!” Steve cut himself off as he searched the scene for the ginger f*cker. He had vanished, not even leaving a trail of blood, only a pool of it where his body was. 

“He’s not the one to be concerned about,” Bucky said under his breath, lowering his head as everyone looked at him. “What I mean is...he’ll either be back for Stark or we’ll find him. We should focus right now on Stark.”

Steve nodded, sliding his other arm under Tony’s knees to lift him as gently as he could. His body was lighter than he was used to and his skin was hot to the touch, although Tony’s shivering was growing violent. As Steve started to follow Bruce to the jet, a hand on his arm stopped him. Turning slowly as to not jostle the genius in his arms, he saw Bucky looking at him with a mixture of emotions.

“Can I come with you? I’ll comply with whatever you want me to do. I can fly the jet if you don’t mind. I just want...to make sure he’s ok. I want to help.” His voice was quiet and unsure, but Steve gave him a small smile. 

“Of course. And after everything today, I trust you to help in any way you can.” A large part of Steve wished to say something he and Bucky would tell each other all the time: Til the end of the line. But another part of him held back. This guy may claim to be his childhood friend and wear his face, but Hydra tended to be a group of lying and manipulative bastards. He was extremely conflicted, but after he protected Tony all this time and helped Steve in that fight, he earned at least some of Steve’s trust. 

He tentatively followed Steve and Bruce to the jet and boarded with them. Steve and Bruce stayed in the back as they laid Tony down on the stretcher that was brought with them. Bucky took the role as pilot, following the GPS back to the helicarrier. For the first half of the flight, Steve sat in the back as Bruce treated the stab wound and a deep reopened gash on his leg. He didn’t want to do anything major until they got him to a hospital with doctors who were speciatists and who would take MRI’s and x-rays to see any internal injuries. Bruce had put Tony on some fluids though, and gave him some medication for the pain and oxygen, so Steve was slightly less worried. His heart rate was stabilizing and his fever wasn't as raging as it was before.

It came to a point where Bruce asked Steve to give them a minute, though. Steve didn’t know quite why, but still he agreed to give them their privacy. He knew he had to talk to Bucky at some point anyway. Carefully, not knowing if Bucky was still jumpy from the fight or not, Steve got into the co-pilot's seat. Barnes glanced at him for a second, skeptically, but relaxed soon enough.

“Thank you for your help today...and for everything. I heard you stayed with him the entire time,” Steve started off, looking out the window. 

The sun was high in the sky, illuminating the sky in a vibrant dark blue color. There weren’t many clouds so they had a pretty good view of the ocean below them. 

“If he didn’t help me, I’d still be back there, still mindlessly doing their dirty work, so I owed it to him. I owe a lot to him...,” he kept his voice down, staring straight at the window. 

Steve knew there was something else, but he didn’t want to push. That seemed like something between him and Tony personally, and he didn’t want to intrude. He did deserve to know something else though. “I just...need to know...are you actually James Barnes? Or is this just some Hydra clone crap.”

After a beat of silence, he wheezed out a laugh, took a breath, and responded. “I think I am. To be honest I don’t really know myself. I’m just as lost as you. All my life, I’ve only known my missions and Hydra. I never have had my own thoughts until I started to remember these...names and have these...visions. The first one I remembered was yours. I don’t know why but almost every night all I could hear was your name in my head. Then it was the name everyone said was my own. After that I started to see someone that looked like you and several other weird memories. I didn’t tell any of my Handlers because I didn’t want to undergo more wiping and risk the chance of losing everything. It wasn’t until I saw Stark that everything started to come back even more. He told me about you and...I remembered. I’m still confused and I still don't really know  what’s real and what isn’t, but I think you are. And who you are is real. If that makes sense.”

Steve really didn’t want to cry...not again especially in front of Bucky, but he couldn’t help it. He was probably just as confused as Bucky at this point, but the idea of getting Tony and Bucky back at once was overwhelming him. Tears began to brim his eyes as he stared ahead at the clouds. 

“...they messed with my head pretty badly, with all the cryo freezing and memory wipes, but the whole time I felt like something was missing, and I never gave up trying to figure out what it was. I think part of me...missed you.”

Steve had to wipe his eyes at this point and clear his throat. “I don’t want to sound weird, especially with your tainted memory and all...but I missed you for so long, Buck.”

It pleased Steve to see him smile in return and sit with more comfort in his posture. He looked back to see Bruce talking on the phone, and Tony laying in the stretcher with his eyes closed peacefully. Maybe things were going to turn out alright after all.

Chapter Text

Tony

Kissing wasn’t a new thing for Tony. He had kissed plenty of people in his life whether it was during hookups, short term relationships or long term ones. No matter how many times he kissed someone, Pepper had always been his favorite. Kissing her wasn’t like kissing a stranger. She would hold him like something precious and special,  like he was someone she cared for and loved. And although he loved her and loved how she treated him with all the kindness in the world, they never seemed to fit well in that type of relationship. 

But, whenever he was kissed by anyone else, it was always just...kissing. And that was how it was supposed to be right? That’s how it was for Tony at least. That’s how he thought it always would have been...until he died.

His memory was a little hazy, but from what he could remember, he had blacked out and was suddenly in Steve’s arms when he came to. The blond had a halo of light around his hair making him seem like a damn angel or something. It also pissed Tony off at how even with snot and tears running down his dirty, bloodied face, he was still the most attractive person Tony had seen. 

Anyway, Tony had been kissed in every way possible: rough, soft, passionate, french, and even sometimes it ended with him having to shove the person away after. Never, however, never had Tony ever been kissed like how he was kissed by Steve. If he were to put a name to it, he’d have to call it a hollywood disney prince charming kiss. It was the most tackiest moment to describe, seeming straight out of a romance movie, but that was exactly how it felt. Lightly, they had touched their foreheads together and when Steve cupped Tony’s cheek, the brunette couldn’t help but close his eyes and lean forward. As soon as their lips met, it was as if a spark ran straight down Tony’s spine. It was beautiful, cheesy and all kinds of hot, and Tony loved it. In that moment, he felt like he was on some sort of high as all the pain melted...but came back shortly after. 

All he could think about was the kiss as he was carried to the jet and patched up by Bruce. Having oxygen felt like drinking water after a full day in the desert for Tony. He could make the same comparison to him finally drinking water too, and getting pain meds. He remembered Bruce asking Steve to give them a minute as he asked some more personal questions about what the bastards may have done to violate him in any manner while he was in that hell hole. Tony counted himself extremely lucky that nothing along the lines of that had occurred and he wasn’t taken advantage of in the slightest. 

After that, he was in and out of consciousness. He remembered bright lights, extreme pain and even restrains at one point. Every time he woke up, it was extremely foggy and hard to focus. He could barely move any part of his body, and it made his anxiety spike even more. There was a moment where he woke up enough to see what was going around him and where he was. The room was bright and smelled like chemicals, but there was a hand carding through his hair. He cracked open his eyes and saw an empty hospital room. When he glanced to his left, where the person who was stroking his hair sat, he saw red hair. There was a loud beeping when his heart started pounding and he started to thrash. He didn’t want Khan to tortur him again, he didn’t want any more water or cutting or beatings or-

He felt himself yelling something and when his ears finally popped, he heard himself yelling Steve’s name. The hands holding him to the rough sheets were gentle but strong enough to pin his weak, exhausted body. 

“Tony, Amore mio, va bene. Sei al sicuro, Steve sta arrivando. È solo Natasha, starai bene,” The words were said with a calming tone that caused Tony to immediately stop his thrashing. It was Natasha’s voice. Natasha with fiery red hair. Natasha who always protected him and loved him. 

As he gulped in more air, the beeping gradually slowed down. A face appeared in his blurry vision. Her smile wasn’t sickly or evil, it was beautiful and soft. Her eyes were piercing, not murky. And her hair was soft and long, a more vibrant red than Khan’s dull straggly hair. She smiled at him and then sat back down, humming a tune. Slowly, her humming soon turned into words. They sounded Russian, but it was hard for Tony to tell at this point. His mind was beginning to get darker as did his vision as he laid further into the flat pillows below him. Just as he thought he heard his name being called, his eyes closed fully, and he passed out once again. 

--<>--

“...have to be quiet, Clint. He’s sleeping.” 

“Oh, come on, he hasn’t woken up when I was blasting his stupid ACDC shit.”

“Clint, please- wait. Wait, Tony? Are you awake?”

Steve’s voice sounded like an echo in his head and it kind of hurt. Tony tried to roll over but his body screamed at him not to and it felt like a million things were tugging at his arm. Instead, he decided to groan, “shut up. ‘M sleeping.” 

Someone laughed next to him- oh, that sounded like Steve. Slowly, Tony pried his eyes open and squinted ahead of him. He was in a hospital room that was covered with balloons, get well soon banners and flowers. They all covered the small coffee table and 4 chairs that were in the room. The tv was on, playing what looked like transformers, and Clint was lounging in a chair in front of it. He was looking at Tony with a shocked expression before his gaze switched to Tony’s left. With much effort, Tony looked in that direction too to see Steve was sitting in one of those crappy hospital chairs, holding Tony’s hand and looking at him like he was going to cry, again. 

“Please don’t cry again,” Tony mumbled, unable to speak any louder. His throat felt like sandpaper as did his eyes. There was a throbbing in his side and his foot felt like a wolf had been chewing on it. 

“O-oh, I’m sorry. I won’t. I promise,” Steve said, wiping his eyes and sniffing. 

Suddenly, a deep pit of anxiety burned a hole in Tony’s stomach as he had a realization. “Oh, gosh. Did they ruin my face? Am I ugly?!” 

Clint laughed, practically falling out of his chair. Steve gaped, failing to hide his laugh. “Oh, gosh Tony no. You look just like you always have.” Once he said that, his eyes widened and he shook his head. “A-and by that...I mean that you are so handsome now. Not that you weren’t before, you always are and have been. Handsome I mean-”

Tony rolled his eyes, blocking out the rest of Steve’s babbling. He braced his arms behind him and tried to lift himself into a sitting position. As he did, a sharp pain ripped through his abdomen. He cried out, biting his lip, trying to suppress the pain. 

“Wait, you wanna sit up? I think the bed does that for you...Clint, how do you work this damn thing?” Tony opened his eyes to see Steve squatting near the end of the bed, fiddling with the controls as Clint rolled his eyes and head as he made his way over. 

Slowly, the top of the bed rose and Tony finally had a full view of the room. There was a big glass window with blinds, only allowing a few streams of sunlight in. The sunlight ran over the floor before bleeding onto his bed. It slithered over his foot, which was alleviated by a few pillows. It was wrapped in a bright red case all the way up to below his knee. There were a few bandages on his legs and arms, but he could feel a giant one covering his abdomen. It stung when he shifted, but otherwise the pain wasn’t that bad at all. There was an IV in his hand and another in his arm, and he was also wearing one of those horrid hospital gowns. 

“Thanks...how long was I out for?” Tony asked, rubbing his eye which was covered in that disgusting crust you got after sleeping for a long time. 

“Well...you were in surgery for about 20 hours. The knife luckily didn’t hit any organs, but you had a broken rib that had punctured one of your lungs. It was difficult with the reactor, but they were able to repair it. They also had to put some screws in your ankle to set it back. With some physical therapy, they said you should get full motion with it. You were in a medical coma for a week and after that you’ve been in and out of it for 5 days.”

Tony looked up at Steve when he finally finished. He was looking down at Tony’s hand which was still encased in Steve’s. They sat in a long science before Clint shuffled slightly. 

“I’m...going to get the doctor and call the others.” He ran out of the room, closing the door as he did so. 

“I’m...just really glad you’re ok…” Steve whispered, trying to hold back his tears. 

As he stared at their hands with Steve, Tony tried to run through the last few things he remembered. He remembered the bomb, Barnes and Steve fighting Khan, Khan attacking him, and then darkness. Then, his memory picked up on him lying on the concrete, in Steve’s arms. Their foreheads were pressed together, they both leaned forwards and, “we kissed.”

Steve’s head shot up as he stared at Tony with wide beautiful blue eyes. Red crept from his ears and onto his cheeks as his mouth moved trying to find words. “I...uh, yeah. We did.”

Tony chuckled lightly through the pain, feeling a smile creep onto his lips. “You kissed me. Oh my gosh, you, Steve Rogers, kissed me.”

Steve’s astounded expression morphed into one of offense. “What...does that mean?”

With a shake of his head, Tony gripped Steve’s hand harder. “You kissed me...and I...liked it.”

He looked up to Steve’s face to see him with a face of...confusion and shock? His mouth gaped, not knowing what to do next. 

“So that means, I’d like you to do it again. Right now.” Tony whispered seductively despite the pain. 

“Are...are you sure? I don’t-” 

Tony cut him off by grabbing the front of his hoodie and yanking him forward. He pressed their lips together again and felt heaven. Steve tasted like coffee and something orangy, the opposite of how he smelled. His scent was a musky cologne with spruce and wood. It filled Tony’s nose as he wrapped the hand Steve wasn’t holding around the blond’s neck. Steve carefully took his own hand and wrapped it around Tony’s back. It was the cheesiest thing, but it was the only way to best describe how kissing Steve felt; kissing him felt like fireworks went off, like they were the only ones in the world, like Tony was dreaming. Hollywood disney prince kiss.

When Steve broke it and leaned back, Tony thought he might melt. Steve’s chest heaved in and out with every breath that blew past his swollen lips. His hair was messy and hot, and his eyes were gleaming. It wasn’t until he smiled at Tony, that the genius actually did melt into a puddle. His smile was crooked like a smirk, showing utter joy and a hint of feistiness. 

“I like it too...k-kissing you,” Steve whispered. His thumb was stroking Tony’s hand as the other tightened its grip on Tony’s waist. It was tight enough to make Tony notice, but not enough to hurt. 

Tony smiled and turned away, leaning out of Steve’s grip tentatively. He scooted over as best as he could, patting the space next to him. “You are the only person I know who can make dorkiness seem sexy. If I only wasn’t stuck in this damn hospital bed.”

Steve laughed in return, lowering the railing and sitting down. He was hanging halfway off the bed, but he seemed fine with it. Sadly, he had to get up a minute after as the Doctor came in. She said that the major injury was a punctured lung from his broken rib. He was extremely lucky though as it only mildly scraped it. His foot was broken in 4 different places, but it was easily reconstructed and with much PT, they were expecting him to gain full motion again. The wound on his calf had given him an infection that was caught just in time, so his fever only lasted a couple days once he broke it. The stab on his stomach was again, lucky, and just needed a few stitches. She said he should be out of the hospital within a few days. They just had to keep hydrating him and giving him nutrients as he was slightly malnourished and very dehydrated. 

Once she left, Steve was back on the bed, stuck to Tony like glue. After a beat of silence, Tony fidgeted with his hands as he spoke, “Where’s Barnes?”

Steve’s body stiffened as his mood suddenly changed. He began to practically leak nerves and unease through his ears. “He’s with Shield right now. They wanted to run some tests, but he wouldn’t comply unless he saw you and heard the doctors say you were ok.”

Tony nodded. “Did you guys talk?”

“Yeah, we did...and he’s really...Bucky.” Steve seemed to finally relax a little as he spoke. “He remembers some things, things that only he would know, but most of it is just a blur. Hydra wiped his memory several times, so...it will take a while for him to be ok if he ever will be.”

With a hum, Tony looked back up at Steve from where his vision wandered to the door, avoiding Tony's gaze. “And what are you feeling?”

He was a little caught off guard by the question, but Steve smiled pathetically. “Honestly, confused. Very confused. But, also happy. Happy that you’re ok, and that...I may have just gotten my friend back. And he may not be the same person, I know that, I saw it when we rescued you-”

“I’d prefer the term ‘picked me up because I had no transportation’, but ok,” Tony said after cutting Steve off, earning a chuckle and smack on the head.

“Alright, fine, when we came to give you a ride. But...I wish I was totally happy. I feel...guilty. It’s because of me that he was tortured and turned into...that. It’s because I failed to save him that he was forced to go through all of the shit-”

“Steve,” Tony cut him off one more time. “Are you Hydra?” 

Steve looked at him with confused eyes. “N-no, but-”

“Exactly. You didn’t torture him. Hydra was the one who did all of this. Not you, not him. So they are the ones who should be blamed. Ok? Not you.”

Steve nodded, looking up to the ceiling. “I know… I just can’t help but feel like shit. I’m happy he’s here, but at the same time I’m not. He’s so...hurt. I want to help him so bad, but I don’t know how.”

“And I’m sure he doesn’t know how either. So we’ll figure it out. All of us.”

Steve sniffed as if he was getting emotional before he turned to press his nose into Tony’s hair. 

“Again, Steve! You and your damn snot,” Tony complained as he shoved the soldier as hard as he could without causing himself pain. Steve only laughed and wrapped his arm around Tony, squeezing his shoulders gently in a loving way. They sat there just as Clint burst open the door with Natasha, Bruce, Thor and Pepper in tow. 

“Man of Iron, you have awoken!” Thor walked in holding bags of burger king, wearing one of the paper crowns. Clint had one on too as he balanced a tray of drinks in each hand. 

Gratitude hit Tony’s chest, making it feel tight as he tried to suck in the sudden emotion. The sight of his friends standing in front of him made him feel all fuzzy and shit. He never thought that a person like him could ever have so many people care this much about him, but here he was. It felt amazing to say the least.

“Tony...we talked about this.” He looked up to see Pepper staring at him sternly. 

“Aw, Pep, I...I know-”

“Tony,” she said sharply to cut him off. “I said if you ever, ever, made me have to go through something like that again, I’d have Natasha beat your ass after I beat it myself .”

Visibly, Tony swallowed, looking to Natasha and then to Pepper. Both of them wore the same expression which made Tony feel extremely terrified for the events that would occur in the next few moments. Just as he was about to try and leap from the bed and make a run for it, Pepper’s face melted into one of overwhelming relief and happiness. 

“But I’m glad you’re back.” As she said those words, Pepper leaned forward to give Tony a gentle hug and kiss on the cheek. Tony smiled and leaned into it.

“Let’s be fair, the last time this happened, it was for 3 months. This was only for...wait, how long was I gone?” He looked up to Steve who raised 5 fingers with an ‘give or take’ face. “5 days I’m guessing. I hope it wasn’t weeks because if so, I must have been sleeping a lot during that.”

“It was just about 5 days, Tones,” Natasha said, pulling out a chair to take a seat. 

“Alright, yay, Tony’s alive and doin’ fantastic. Hoop-la. Now let’s eat food, I don’t think I’m going to last much longer,” Clint groaned as he practically threw down the drinks and took a seat next to Natasha. 

As Clint practically tackled Thor for the food, Bruce squished by to stand next to Tony. “How are you feeling?”

With a playful smile, Tony reached out to grab Bruce’s hand and pull him closer. Bruce rolled his eyes but still gripped his hand tightly. “I feel just fabulous. Did you fly all the way out here for lil ole’ me?” 

“Oh please,” Bruce said as he blew out a sigh. “I finished my work overseas and came to check up on you guys. Of course I come back to see you like this.” 

“Well, what else were you expecting?” Tony then turned to Steve with a puppy look. “Can you get me some food please?” 

Steve shook his head but got up anyway. They all ate lunch together, joking around as Pepper recounted some stories from Tony’s past. Some were more embarrassing than others, and some he never would have wanted Steve to hear, but there was no stopping her. By the time they finished, it was late and visiting hours had ended. Each of them bid Tony goodbye. Apparently, Natasha and Clint were going to Shield in the morning to hear about another mission, and Thor was going to go in the morning too with Bruce to accompany him as he signed up as an Avenger himself, having made the decision during his travels. For the night, they would all go back to the tower. Pepper kissed him on the cheek before telling him she had to go back to Japan to close on a contract. It took some arguing, but eventually Tony convinced her to go back and that he was fine. That left Steve. 

The soldier apparently had been sleeping on a cot in the corner of the room for the entire time Tony was in the hospital. He started unfolding it, as if he was going to stay when Tony stopped him. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Tony asked as he tried to fluff his pillows so they weren’t as flat. 

“Um, getting ready to sleep.” Steve laid a blanket down and straightened his equally flat pillow. 

“No, you’re not. What you’re going to do is go back to the tower to actually get some real sleep, shave and maybe take a shower.” As Tony crossed his arms, he glared at Steve intimidatingly. The soldier only laughed nervously and waved his arm as if he was about to defend himself. When nothing came out of his mouth that was hanging open at the moment, Tony continued. “I know that you’re worried, but I’m ok. And...if it’s about...you know what, they have medication so I’ll sleep fine.” 

Steve stayed silent as he stared at the ground. 

Unless. 

“Ok, give me one of your pillows then. It’s an outrage that they gave you 2 pillows and only gave me one.”

Steve was afraid of the nightmares he would have if he weren’t with Tony.

“Tony, it’s ok, I can go-”

“Hush. Pillow, now,” Tony said as he wiggled the fingers on his outstretched hand. Steve tilted his head to glare at Tony before making him squeak out a, “please.” 

The pillow was thrown straight into Tony’s face as he released a squawk. “Hey! No pillow fights in the hospital! Especially with the injured!” 

Someone banged on the window, making both boys look over at the crack between the posters. A nurse was glaring at each of them, holding his finger up in a stern manner before placing it over his lips and walking away. Steve slipped on his sleep pants as he made an ‘ooo’ sound like a kid in 3rd grade. 

“Oh, shut up,” Tony grumbled as he lowered the bed to lay down. 

“I’m not the one who got in trouble though.” 

Tony threw his pillow again, smacking Steve in the face. 

“Ok, now give it back.”

“Hmm, no.”

“ Steve, dammit-” 

Chapter Text

Tony

Hospitals were one of the worst places for Tony to be. Being confined to a bed, hooked up to machines, forced to stay still for days on end, and most importantly, no workshop time. By his second day there, Tony was already tearing his skin off. They wanted to observe him, especially with his foot, to prevent any other infections and start some physical therapy.  It was going pretty well. His pain was minimal most days with the medication, but his hands were itching to do anything. He already did all 5 puzzle books Natasha bought him and solved every rubix cube puzzle Clint gave him, despite how the archer resorted to taking the stickers off and switching them up to make it ‘impossible’. The one thing that got him through it was Steve. He was the one who practically lived there with Tony. There were a few nights Tony convinced him to go back to the tower to sleep or get real food, but they soon found that he slept easier with Tony. He would go meet with Fury a couple times, meet with his therapist, visit Peggy and see how Bucky was doing, but other than that, he mainly stayed by Tony’s side. 

Bucky was still in Shield custody. They were working on some testing and rehabilitation work to help ease his mind back to some sense of stability and ease him back into his past resurfacing memories. Whenever Steve went to visit him, it was usually good news. Some days were worse than others with some of the PTSD and confusion, but overall, he was beginning to finally start to remember himself clearly. Steve explained how he wasn’t exactly like the old Bucky, but he was definitely coming back slowly. No matter, Steve was still as happy as ever. He would come back from Shield and talk nonstop about Bucky’s progress, how close they are growing together, and how much Bucky asks about Tony. 

On his 6th day at the hospital, Tony was playing rummy with Steve, and just as he was going to beat him for the 9th time, a knock erupted from the door. Steve looked to the door from the cards he was intensely staring at and then to Tony. His blond eyebrow shot up in question as if Tony had any clue as to who it could be. Tony replied with a shrug. 

“Maybe Clint finally got fired from Shield and is back early. Ooh! Maybe he brought food,” Tony said, waving his hand hurriedly towards the door for Steve to open it. “You gonna open it, or stare at it until it opens on it’s own?”

“Wow, you’re really hangry today, aren’t you?” Steve asked as he stood up. 

Just as his hand was reaching for the knob, a voice halted it in its tracks. “Tony, I swear to everything holy, if you don’t open this door now I’ll bust the damn thing down myself.”

Panic burst in Tony’s bandaged chest as he grabbed the blanket to pull it over himself. He knew that voice anywhere, and he also knew that tone anywhere. “ Steve,” Tony snapped, “On second thought, just shut off the lights and pretend we’re not here.” 

Steve shot him a quizzical look just as the door burst open. It flung towards the wall, smacking Steve into the corner. From the doorway, a man stormed right over to Tony’s bed. Tony gulped loudly before pulling the blanket up to his chin, causing the cards to topple to the ground. 

“If you weren’t in a hospital bed right now I would kick your ass so hard that you’d be stuck here for the rest of your damn life. What the hell were you thinking? What number is this? It’s gotta be your 15th damn kidnapping at least.”

“Aw, Honeybear-” Tony said quietly before the man’s rant cut him off.

“Don’t you ‘Honeybear’ me. You’ve been back for a week now and I don’t even get a call?! I have to hear all about this from Pepper? And hear about how the guy is still out there? What the hell Tones?”

Standing inches from Tony’s pale face was the Lieutenant Colonel himself, James Rhodes, still decked in his uniform having come straight from the base he was stationed at. The scowl on his face was one that shook Tony to his core. He always saw it when he screwed up something horribly. They had been friends since his time at MIT and stayed that close until now. In this moment, Tony believed for sure that this was where their friendship ended, just as Tony had imagined it would. Rhodes murdering Tony over some bullshit the genius had pulled. As he finished his lecture, Tony could hear the hurt leaking through in his voice. It silently broke his heart to hear how concerned his friend was for his well being.

With much reluctance, Tony lowered the blanket, sparing a glance to see Steve still trying to lodge himself out of the corner he was trapped in. “Listen, I had it all under control. I was able to get out of there, easy peasy. Just a little break in my foot. I figured you’d be busy at the base, so why should I bother you about something so small-”

“Tony. I already talked to the doctors. You had stab wounds, a foot broken in 4 different places, a punctured lung, a giant infection, and a hundred other things that made them put you into a coma to heal. That’s not nothing. And Tones,” he paused for a moment, eyes losing their previous fire. “They found water in your lungs.”  

There was a conflict forming in Tony’s head as it started to ache. Emotions were welling up and it was annoying. They started to creep into his eyes, pushing to make themselves known to everyone present in the room. “Yeah, I know, Rhodey. I have it handled.”

With an eye roll and crossed arms, Tony glanced at the wall to see Steve quietly picking up the cards. 

“Have you not learned by now that I can see through every damn lie that comes from your mouth, Tony?”

“Ok, I get it. I should have called. Sorry that I didn’t want to bother you and actually thought about you before throwing more problems your way.”

Rhodey sighed as his posture grew less stiff as he pinched his nose. “You’re insufferable, Tony. You know that? F*cking impossible sometimes.” Tony let himself be pulled into a hug as he finally took in his friend’s presence. They hadn’t seen each other in about a month, and Tony missed him terribly despite the tense emotions. The hug was short, as Rhodey respected Tony’s distaste towards physical contact. “I’m glad you’re ok.”

Tony hummed quietly. 

“Call me next time. Alright? No matter what,” Rhodey said as he pulled himself out of the hug and rubbed Tony’s shoulders. “I want you to call me, so I can be here. Not because you want me here, I don’t give two shits about what you want, but because I need to be here.”

A smile cracked onto Tony’s face as he shook his head, choosing not to answer. Their reunion was awkwardly interrupted though by someone clearing their throat. Steve was standing near the door stiffly as he looked between the two. “Oh, right. Rhodey, this is Steve. Steve, this is Rhodey, my stuck up friend.”

It was Rhodey’s turn to roll his eyes as he stuck his hand out to take Steve’s. “It’s nice to meet you, Captain.”

“And you as well, Lieutenant,” Steve replied with a smile after glancing at his badges. 

“I apologize that you have to put up with this little shit,” Rhodey huffed, looking back at the man still sitting in the hospital bed. 

Steve chuckled, waving a hand. “Don’t worry, I’m here voluntarily.” He paused for a moment, before smiling and motioning to the door. “Well, I’m just going to get something to eat while you two catch up.” 

Tony watched as Steve left without even giving him a look. 

“You two dating or something?” Rhodey blurted just as the door closed. Tony sputtered as he sent a glare Rhodey’s way. “What? Pepper told me.”

The engineer tried to wipe away the blush forming on his cheeks as he glared at the window, away from his friend’s direction. “No, we aren’t dating . We’re just...friends.”

“If friends make out in your book, then I’m not sure I wanna stay in this friendship anymore.”

“Wha- Who the hell told you that? It was just a kiss. Tensions were high and emotions were conflicting.”

“Oh, so you did kiss?” Rhodey’s dark eyebrows shot up as he smiled, leaning against the bed. “I was just joking.”

Tony swatted at Rhodey’s arm playfully.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Tones. Do you trust him?”

“We aren’t dating. It was just a kiss.”

“Then why do you sound disappointed?” Rhodey hummed, making Tony squirm slightly at the uncomfortable feeling of the conversation. Tony didn’t answer, giving Rhodey the go ahead to continue. “As long as you know what you’re doing and trust him, because you’ve been hurt plenty enough, Tony.”

He paused.

“How are you feeling?”

Relieved at the subject change, Tony finally spoke up. “Pretty good honestly. My foot is the most annoying thing, but the therapist said I should be able to walk on it fine within the next couple months.”

“That’s good. And how are you sleeping?”

Rhodey knew just the right questions to ask, didn’t he? After Afghanistan, Rhodey was among the very few people to know of Tony’s nightmares. He knew how sensitive Tony was to water and how bad some nights could be. “They give me meds here, so so far it’s been ok.”

“And Steve stays with you here?” 

Tony nodded, picking at his blunt fingernails. 

“He’s good to you?” 

That question threw Tony a bit, but he nodded again. “He’s been with me the whole time. Helped me a lot. We...we help each other with the nightmare thing.”

The rest of the hour passed with Rhodey and Tony catching up. Rhodes shares some funny stories from the base and some of their non confidential missions, while Tony recounted some friendly memories with the team. It helped Tony feel more at home the more he spoke with his friend. The longer they talked though, the more often Tony’s mind drifted to wonder where Steve was. After about 2 hours of catching up and Rhodey lecturing Tony on taking care of himself, they each bid each other adieu. As happy as he was to see Rhodey, Tony couldn’t help but feel anxious about where Steve was. He eventually came back, saying that he was on the phone with Natasha, checking in on the investigation.

It wasn’t until 2 weeks later that Tony was finally released from the hospital. The first thing he made Steve do was go to Burger King. 

“You happy now?” Steve asked, pulling into the street. 

The only response he got was a groan from Tony as he practically shoved an entire burger in his mouth. 

“Wow, very attractive.” Steve rolled his eyes as he drove through a green light. 

“T’anks, I try so hard,” Tony replied sarcastically as he wiped off sauce in his goatee. 

“So, you really wanna see Bucky now, Tones?” 

Tony huffed as he swallowed another bite of his lunch. Of course Steve’s mother hen was coming out now. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Bucky or think he was dangerous, it was quite the opposite actually. 

“I just don’t want you to strain yourself or hurt yourself. If you want to go back to the tower and rest then we can see him tomorrow or-”

“Steve, please, I’m fine. I just wanna see how he’s doing, thank him with a clear, non feverish mind, and that’s it. We’ll be home right after.” He crinkled the wrapper up and threw it into the bag after taking out the rest of his fries. 

The blond huffed before running a hand through his hair. “How’s your foot feel?”

Tony shrugged. “Aches, but fine I guess.”

“We should elevate it when we get home.”

Tony turned to look out the window and mocked Steve as he made his voice crack purposefully, “We should elevate it when we get home.”

“What was that?” 

“Nothing, nothing,” Tony said with a huff, eating another fry. 

“Sure, then I’m taking one of these.” Steve’s big meaty claw came and statched 4 of his biggest fries.

“Excuse me? That’s not one, that’s like 12!”

“12? I think that’s a little bit of an exaggeration.”

“Whatever. Steal an injured man’s fries, why don’t you? Nothing illegal about that.” 

“Shhh, you’re distracting the driver.”

Tony wasn’t sure where he stood with Steve. They hadn’t talked about their relationship at all, as Tony would always change the subject or avoid it. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Steve or want anything to do with Steve. It was his nerves. The pure anxiety that came with the conversation was what caused Tony to panic and completely dodge the questions. It usually went like this:

Steve: “So, that kiss…”

Tony: “oh, yeah. That was a really good kiss. But you know what else is good?”

Then Tony would bring up something totally unrelated, but something distracting enough that Steve would forget about the conversation entirely. It was stupid and childish, but what else would one expect from Tony? He was never one who was really good at dealing with relationships. The only healthy one he was in didn’t even last that long, and it was with Pepper. Dating Pepper was something totally different from dating Steve. There was something about Steve, or maybe multiple somethings about him, that made panic replace all of Tony’s macho. The feelings he has for the man were feelings he has never had before. They were new, genuine and all out terrifying. Tony really didn’t want to screw this up. Every relationship he has had always ended like a plane crash. Either the media butchered it, Tony screwed up with his carelessness, or the other person was only in the relationship for money, sex, fame, or SI secrets. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin anything Steve and him had with his media presence or with his Tony-ness. He isn’t the easiest person to date in general. He’s forgetful, childish, impulsive, oblivious, and a workaholic. Maybe avoiding talking to Steve wasn’t the best idea with all of his doubts and nerves, but for now, Tony wasn't ready to. Not yet at least.

They pulled into Shield and headed to the main entrance. Bucky was apparently in one of his meditation sessions with his therapist when they got there, so the duo decided to wait in one of the cafe’s that was there for the workers. Tony leaned his pain in the ass crutches against the table as Steve and him slid into the booth across one another. He rested his foot next to Steve as the soldier sent Bucky a text. 

“Your foot smells. Just warning you before Bucky comes. It might drive him away.”

Tony gaped at Steve. “Since when did you become so nasty?”

“Since I became your caretaker,” Steve fired back.

“As if. Lousiest caretaker in the history of caretakers.”

“Wow, really, Tones? I’d like to see how well you do without me.”

“I didn’t say you were fire worthy. Just lousy.”

Steve just laughed as he sipped his cappuccino. His smile faltered and turned into a thoughtful expression as he bit the inside of his cheek. His blue eyes slid to the left as they stared at the table. They seemed deep in thought as they avoided looking back anywhere near Tony’s own gaze. “Tony, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk about. I know it’s just been tough though since you’ve been trying to recover.”

Tony felt his eyes widen. Here it was, the dreadful conversation he’s been avoiding for so long. Something sour filled Tony’s stomach as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He internally kicked himself, trying to get himself to suck it up. All this was was just a little emotion talk, that’s it. Nothing a damn superhero couldn’t handle. Why was he so scared of communicating feelings? He was just kidnapped and tortured, and this was still the main thing that shook his nerves? Wow, how pathetic. And sad. Instead of speaking and risking his nerves sabotaging his voice and putting his anxieties on display to Steve, he chose to just nod and hum in affirmation. 

There was a red shadow that grew over Steve’s ears and cheeks as he started to speak again. “I know how well you and feelings go together, which isn’t too well, so I’ll make it as straight to the point as I can.” 

“Well...something tells me that nothing about this conversation is going to be straight,” Tony mumbled as he flicked a small crumb across the table. 

He was surprised at how Steve’s chest rocked with laughter. “I mean, yeah.” He ran a hand through the already disheveled blond strands on his head. “We aren’t too good at this, are we?”

A chuckle was forced through Tony’s tight throat as he stared down the crumb that sat next to Steve’s elbow. “Never really were in the first place.”

“Tony, listen. I..know that this is all new for me, but I’m sure of what I’m feeling. What I feel for you, and-”

“Oh, hey! Look!” Tony’s heart hammered dangerously fast in his chest as he interrupted Steve. He nodded towards the door at a tall man with a brown man bun who was walking in. His blue eyes lit up when they saw Tony who was waving with a smile. 

He could hear Steve huff with a tone that was stitched with annoyance and irritation, but Tony pushed it to the back of his mind. Usually, he couldn’t care less when people were annoyed with him, but when Steve got irritated with him, it made Tony react in a way that made him want to change it right away. He had to ignore this panic for now though as best as he could and change the dense, serious atmosphere to something less intense. 

Bucky offered a small wave in return as he approached the table wearing sweatpants and a tank top, putting his metal arm on full display. 

“Oh, hey, Buck,” Steve said cheerfully as he turned around in the booth. 

“Hey, Stevie. H-hey Tony.” His voice was full of uncertainty as he stood next to their table. 

Steve smiled and patted the spot next to him and Tony’s propped up foot. Silently, the man took the seat as he glanced at Tony nervously. 

“Long time, no see, Robo cop,” Tony chirped, trying his best to break the tension. “I’m sorry I couldn’t see you sooner. The doctors held me hostage.”

That drew a laugh from Bucky as he relaxed slightly in the booth, making Tony internally cheer. “How is your foot?”

Tony shrugged, “Doing it’s best. Crutches aren’t the funnest things in the world, but I’ll make due. How has it been here?”

It was Bucky’s turn to shrug now as he cleared his throat, “It’s been good. They treat me really nice here. I feel a lot better. More so than I’ve felt in a long time.” 

Tony smiled. He was happy that Bucky was finally getting the help he needed and deserved. “That’s good. I’m not one for yoga much, but, hey, if it works.”

They talked for a while, the three of them. Tony could definitely see the emerging chemistry between Steve and Bucky as they joked around. Bucky was remembering a lot more as each day progressed, and he finally felt like he was becoming himself again. Of course he would never again be who he used to be, but he seemed ok with it. Steve also seemed to have accepted it more so than the last time Tony asked him about it. Bucky would train with Natasha at least twice a week, do daily meditation, and would talk with a therapist every other day. He finally seemed happy, and he finally seemed like he was becoming his own person. 

“And then,” Bucky wheezed as Steve coughed on his coffee. “Steve threw the ball straight into the post, and it bounced back, hitting him square in the eye.” 

Steve half laughed and half choked as he slammed his hand into the table. 

“He knocked himself clear out, and his date literally carried him home,” Bucky continued in between fits of laughter. “What was her name again? She was someone’s neighbor, right?”

Once Steve caught his breath, he answered. “It was Franny. John’s neighbor. She never talked to me again after that.” 

“I still remember her face that night when she dropped you off at my apartment.”

“Wow, Steve, you sound like you were such a ladies man,” Tony said as he also caught his breath. 

“Oh, that’s not even the start of it. There was this other time-”

“Alright,” Steve said loudly, interrupting Bucky. “I think that’s enough remembering for one day.”

“Aw, come on, Capsicle. It was just getting good,” Tony giggled as he pouted, attempting to make puppy eyes at the soldier. 

“Yeah, no. Buck, I’m more than happy to know that you’re getting your memory back, but now that I’ve finally got some sort of self confidence, let’s please not destroy it all in one afternoon?” 

“Sure, Stevie, for the sake of your fragile self esteem, I’ll stop.” 

Tony downed the rest of his black coffee as Barnes took the last bite of the banana bread they had ordered to share for the table. 

“And, I just wanted to say,” Tony looked back at Bucky as the soldier's voice turned slightly uneasy. “Thanks for getting me out of there, Tony. Even after you knew about everything I did to you, you still stayed with me and defended me. I wouldn’t be here...I wouldn’t be anything close to myself again if you gave up on me.”

The sudden seriousness caught Tony off guard slightly, but he respected it. “Well, you were my only way of getting out of that hell hole, so thanks too.” 

Bucky smiled at the joke, but still carried the genuinity of his gratitude through his expression. 

“You also saved my life,” Tony added. “So consider us even.” 

“Deal.”

Chapter Text

Steve

When Steve left Rhodey and Tony alone, he wasn’t actually on the phone with Fury tying up some loose ends with the kidnapping. Instead, he went down to the cafeteria to grab a wrap and called Natasha. As he sat at the corner table, his hand subconsciously picked up the pamphlet that was advertising some healthcare insurance. There were a few rings in his ear before Nat’s voice appeared. 

“Romanoff.”

“H-hey, Nat,” Steve’s voice shook slightly as he reconsidered the reason for his call. “How’s it going?”

He could practically hear Natasha’s eye roll on the other line. “Well, we don’t have any leads yet, but we did find the base stationed near the location we found Tony at. It’s completely emptied though, as expected.”

Steve leaded to rest his head in the palm of his hand, disappointment clouding his small sliver of hope. “Really? Not even a clue?”

“No, but if they continue to try and find a way to access Loki’s scepter just as Tony said, we can try looking into areas with a sudden surge of power usage.” 

The soldier replied with a hum as he considered the information. That main Hydra scientist was still out there, meaning they would have to keep all eyes on Tony 24/7. Even though Hydra would know that Tony would be under even more protection now, that didn’t mean they still wouldn’t try anything again. And they still didn’t have a clue of what they planned to do with the scepter. If they did happen to access it, Shield would have to be prepared for what was to come from that. That was why Clint and Natasha were working on gathering intel. Bruce and Thor were now officially avengers and were working to help investigate Hydra’s trail as well. 

“So,” she sang, “How’s Tony been?” 

Steve knew exactly what she meant by that. Physically, she knew he was fine, Steve would have called in a more urgent manner if it were that. With the tone in her voice, Steve knew what she meant. “Oh, he’s doing great. They are discharging him in a couple weeks, so he’s going to be climbing the walls soon. Just have to be careful he doesn’t try to blow a hole through them to escape.”

“That’s good. We should be back in a few days. So...if you guys wanted to, you know, you don't have to watch for us, just nurses and-”

“Nat, really? No! We...no.”

She burst into a fit of giggles, making Steve lift the phone away from his face for a moment to adjust to the sudden noise. Finally, she sighed before continuing. “You know I’m just messing, Steve. But have you guys seriously not talked about stuff?” 

It was Steve’s turn to sigh this time. “No. No, we haven’t. It’s just, everything happened and he just got back. He’s still recovering so I don’t want to confront him with it when he’s not ready.”

“I get that, but you should soon. I still remember that giant dinner we were setting up-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve tried multiple times already to just address it, but every time I do, he changes the subject. Like he’s avoiding it. Maybe he’s changed his mind. Or maybe-”

“Steve, stop overthinking. Trust me when I say he hasn’t changed his mind. It’s Tony, the master procrastinator. He is head over heels for you, just as you are for him.”

Steve felt his face grow red at Natasha’s words. He looked around the empty cafeteria as if anyone would see. 

“He’s just scared. He’s not used to relationships having a positive outcome for himself or the other person. I’m sure you’re the best person he’s had a possible chance with, and he’s scared to lose you or ruin whatever he can have with you.”

“Well he doesn’t have to be-”

“Then tell him that, Steve. Whenever he changes the subject, don’t let him. You get so soft with him and he knows that. He’s going to keep taking advantage of that if you don’t push him a little harder. You know how much he hates putting his emotions on display.” 

The words rang in his head as he pondered them for a minute. That did make sense. Maybe he had grown too soft over Tony. If he was going to help push whatever he had with Tony forward, then he would have to push Tony. No matter how much he hated the idea of it, that was the only way to sort through each of their emotions and current feelings. “That makes sense. I guess you’re right.”

“I’m sure the chances of him getting kidnapped again the same night you profess your feelings is low, so why not try again? But, Steve, just a warning: be clear with him. He’s...oblivious to say the least.”

A chuckle escaped Steve’s tense chest as he spoke. “I know, don’t worry. I’ll be sure to make it as obvious as possible.”

“Good. Alright, I’ve got to get going. Clint says hi.”

“Hi Clint. Thanks for the advice, Nat. I’ll see you when you get back.”

They hung up, leaving Steve alone with his wrap. He took his time and then went back upstairs. Through the crack between the get well posters in the window, he was able to see Tony and Rhodey still speaking. Deciding to give them some privacy, Steve sat in one of the small chairs in the hallway and sent an email to Daliah, scheduling their next meeting. As much as he liked talking with her, their meetings have become less and less frequent. Steve was thankful for that, as it was a perfect sign of his progress since being frozen. Then he sent an email to the home that Peggy was in, asking about her well being. They were familiar with his contact, as Steve was a regular visitor, and were always willing to give him a general overview of how she was doing when he was unable to make a visit. He did his absolute best to see her as often as he could, though. With each and every visit, the time her memory would last got shorter and shorter. It was the reality and expected, but it still concerned Steve to no end. He still loved her to the ends of the earth and couldn’t imagine losing her too. 

Having Bucky back (sort of) did help though. Steve made regular meetups with his best friend and was able to clearly see his positive progression. His memory was slowly clearing up and his panic attacks were becoming less and less frequent. As for Tony’s condition, Steve wasn’t quite sure of how that was progressing. Every night the hospital gave him something to help him sleep, but despite that, Steve was still woken up in the night to him crying out. The soldier wasn’t sure if Tony was aware of them or not, but he definitely didn’t address them to Steve. The most he could make out of the cries were mumbled nonsense, but he suspected it was from what Hydra subjected him to during the few days he was taken. During the time Shield interviewed him about his experience and any intel he could provide, Steve was never present. Not that Tony prohibited him from attending, he just never gave Steve the okay to listen in. He spoke with Fury, Hill, Natasha and even Dr. Daliah. Fury and Natasha would update him and report back most of the information Tony told them, so he could assist with the investigation. Everything with Daliah, however, was strictly undisclosed to him. 

Steve one hundred percent understood Tony’s privacy and respected it with all of his being, but another small part of him grew concerned. He was scared of being shut out, of being oblivious to Tony’s obvious pain and left without a clue how to help him. He wasn’t jealous, just upset that he was being left out. It helped grow the dark patch of doubts that resided in his stomach urging him against any pursuit of Tony. 

Despite this, he was still certain of his feelings. He needed to be true and clear to Tony; the man deserved that much. He just had to wait for a time when both Tony and himself seemed ready for his feelings to be on display. 

Once Tony was discharged, they grabbed some food and went to visit Bucky. At first, Steve became severely irritated at Tony for once again changing the subject when he tried to bring up what really needed to be discussed. He wasn’t mad at Tony directly but at his habit to constantly deflect emotional problemas. When Bucky finally did arrive, it seemed tense at first, but it was one of Tony’s special talents to break the ice. The tension bled from Bucky’s shoulders as they started talking about each of their  experiences and how they were doing. The conversation was long and positive. It shocked Steve when Bucky was able to recount some of the memories he had recovered over the course of his freedom, yet it was a good shock. He knew that Bucky would never be the same again, and although he was still struggling to accept it, he knew it and would love the man the same, no matter the damage. 

It shocked Steve even more when Tony himself offered Bucky a room at the tower when he was ready for something more. He spoke how they would love to have him a part of the team as well if he wished, but there was no pressure behind the offer. Bucky replied with an ‘I’ll definitely consider it’, and then their time was up. Bucky had to leave for an appointment after seeing Steve and Tony out. The ride home was fairly quiet as Steve drove. His head was busy with trying to put his feelings into words. He had been at this ever since Tony was back. Before the kidnapping, Steve had a clear picture of how it would go. He was confident, poised and finally sure of himself. After everything that happened, his mind became a mess. His stable stature was shaken, and he struggled to pick up the pieces. Everytime he thought back to it, about how it could possibly go, the anxiety got worse and made his thoughts even more confusing to interpret. 

The car ride felt impossibly long as Tony dozed and Steve panicked. When they finally got back home, the sun was starting to set. With it, the warmth of the day's air left as well, leaving a chilly atmosphere. The garage was dark and unlively when they parked, but Tony didn’t seem to notice. He just silently hobbled out of the car, grabbing his crutches from the backseat by himself. 

“Tony, be careful. You should just wait for me; I can get them for you,” Steve said trying to cover his irritation with a caring tone. His attempt was soon squished by Tony’s eye roll and waving hand. 

“Don’t worry, I’m perfectly capable of getting my own chopsticks.” 

Maybe Steve slammed the back door too hard. Maybe he let out the puff of air in his lungs too quickly and too loud. Or maybe his anger was at its breaking point and was starting to come out: his anger at Tony’s stubbornness, Tony's unwillingness to communicate like a normal human, or Tony’s disregard for Steve entirely. His disregard for Steve’s feelings, thoughts, and even emotional well being. Call him selfish or whatever you want, but Steve was angry. He was angry at Tony’s disregard for how Steve felt about being pushed away and ignored. He was angry at being treated like a chore. Maybe he was just a chore to Tony, maybe he was just another side relationship. Anyway, whatever Steve did caused Tony to whip around as fast as one could do on crutches as soon as Steve closed the car door. 

“Did your hand slip or did you just purposely slam the door on my $50,000 car. Not that I care about money or anything, but that was a custom one that you chose to drive.” That snap from Tony was all it took to finally rip through the last thread of Steve’s patience. 

“Oh, so now you care about what I do. That’s surprising.” Screw Steve for having a little bit of an attitude as he walked at a purposefully fast pace to the elevators.

“What the hell, Steve? Now you’re suddenly mad at me?” Tony’s voice was barely heard over the sound of his crutches trying to keep up with Steve’s pace. 

“I’m shocked you noticed honestly.” Steve also may have pressed the up arrow button a little too hard as well, but he didn’t give a damn at this point. All of his anxieties were suddenly coming out as snaps of anger and aggression. 

“So, just because I want to help myself suddenly, you get an attitude. Good to know. If you wanted a damsel in distress then I’m not the one for you, Rogers,” Tony’s quip was well heard as he came to stand a solid foot away from Steve. 

With clenched fists, Steve turned his gaze to Tony who was staring a hole in the silver doors. “And suddenly you’re mine? Is that what we are now? The status of whatever this is? Sorry, I didn't know. Probably missed the damn memo, Stark.”

“What the f*ck, Steve? If you have something to say to me, then spit it out already.”

They were both tired. They were both drained and full of pent up emotions. They were both bursting at the seams. 

“I’ve been trying to say something, dammit. But you’re too much inside of your own head to give a damn,” Steve seethed as he turned to the door for the stairs. 

“Wait, what? Where are you going?” Tony called after him, but Steve kept walking. His hands slammed against the cool metal of the door, pushing it open. 

He stayed silent as he started up the stairs. 

“Steve, dammit,” Tony grumbled behind him as the door opened and crutches hobbled into the stairwell. “Will you stop walking away?”

“Why, Tony?” As Steve asked this question, he turned around from the top of the first flight to see Tony on the second stair, red cased foot in the air and crutches abandoned on the floor. “You seem to always run from your problems, why can’t I?”

“So now I’m a problem?”

“Yes, Tony. You’re always a f*cking problem. And you wonder why people don’t stay around. You can be so insufferable sometimes. Irrational and stubborn headed and I’ve had enough!”

Tony’s glassy eyes stared up at him, silent for a moment as his frown deepened. “You’ve had enough, have you? Fine, just leave! Get out of my life! I never needed your uptight ass anyway, bastard.” 

Steve’s chest heaved as his nose flared with every breath in anger. He turned and continued up the stairs, slamming his feet like a child as he heard the stairwell door open and slam shut. He only made it halfway to the second floor before his emotions finally got the best of him. In the silence of the room, Steve turned to look out the one way window at the sun. It was just brushing the tops of the buildings, making the lighting a perfect shade of purple. Just as it had done the night Tony came to get Steve when he was lost, the night he and Tony almost kissed, the night Steve started his descent into his feelings for Tony, the night he started to love Tony. 

He loved Tony. And he said all of those horrid things to him. He called him insufferable. He called Tony a problem.

In that moment, Steve finally realized the anger he was spewing was actually just anxiety. He felt it again with the bile that started to rise in his throat. He was supposed to profess his feelings for Tony, not tell him off. Hurriedly, Steve left a trail of regret as he turned around and sped down the stairs. Just as he was about to reach the bottom, he heard several bangs from the garage. There wasn’t time to freeze as he busted through the stairwell door. 

Tony was sitting on the floor, back to Steve and hunched over. His crutches lay next to him, one bent at a horrible angle and the other bent in the opposite direction. The wall had angry marks on it as well. Blue eyes drifted away from the scene of the assault and back to the crumpled form on the ground, watching hesitantly as the body shook slightly. Besides the ding from the elevator that finally opened, the only sound was Tony’s sniffling. 

Slowly, Steve walked to stand in front of Tony. The engineer didn’t react though, even as Steve crouched down to sit in front of him. His face was red, but mostly hidden as Tony wiped his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

“Get the f*ck away from me,” the brunette said quietly, slowly breaking Steve’s heart. 

“Tony, I-”

“No! I said leave! Don’t you dare make up damn excuses. I don’t care,” Tony interrupted as he yelled at the floor, refusing to meet Steve’s gaze. 

After a moment of silence, Steve replied with a quiet, “no, I'm not going anywhere.”

That finally got Tony to look up at him with red, angry eyes. “No?” he scoffed. “You already did, shouldn't be too hard to do again.”

“I didn’t mean what I said. You aren’t a problem,” Steve said, forcing the lump in his throat down. 

“And what if I am? What if I’ve always been a problem and always will? You’re too f*cking perfect to be around such a problem though.” his voice was full of mocking as he spat at Steve.

“Will you shut up for one damn minute, Tony? I didn’t mean what I said. I said it out of anger. It was stupid and petty and...I’m so so sorry, Tony. You aren’t a problem, not at all, you have problems. And so do I. That’s why I’m here for you and you’re here for me, to help each other get through our problems.” 

Tony was finally quiet for a second, eyes moving back to gaze at the floor. 

“I’m just...I’ve been frustrated recently, okay? I’m mad at myself, at life, and..at everything.”

“And at me,” Tony whispered, wiping his eye again. 

“Yes, I am.” Brown eyes snapped up to blue in shock. “I’m mad that you won’t listen to me. That you won’t let me finish. I know I snapped, and I’m sorry. I should have controlled myself more. You didn't deserve that.” 

He paused, and when Tony didn’t say anything more, he continued. 

“I’m mad that I couldn't protect you, that I couldn’t protect Bucky. And I know he’s doing good, great in fact, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that he suffered. That he suffered so much and that he killed your damn parents. I’m mad that you won’t listen.” 

“What if I don’t want to listen,” as Tony mumbled, Steve felt his heart shift. 

“You...don’t want to hear what I have to say?” 

“Steve, I...I’m not...used to this. My track record with people isn’t the best, so I like to keep my record with people limited. I don’t want to listen because I’m scared. Of course I want to hear what you have to say. But I'm so damn terrified. I’m closed off because I'm always hurt. I’m like this because I’m tired of being hurt. And I know what you could say, Steve. Dammit I may be oblivious, but I’m not stupid. I also know what else you could say.”

“I’d...I’d never hurt you Tony…”

“I know, Steve!” His tone started to gain anger as he snapped. “I know,” he said softer. “But I also don’t know. I trust you, and I know I trust you, but at the same time I don’t because of my past. I’m confused and I...it hurts. I don’t know what we are doing. I don’t know how to go about this and it’s frustrating, so I avoid it. You don’t think I don’t...have feelings for you?”

The question struck something in Steve as he watched Tony stare at his fiddling hands. 

“Of course I have feelings for you, Steve. And I don’t…” his voice cracked slightly along with Steve’s heart. “I don’t know what to do about it. You’re...you and I’m me. How can I not be afraid of ruining what could come?” 

“You have...feelings for me?” Steve asked as if he were in high school. 

Tony sighed, rubbing his eye, but he didn’t deny it. 

When Tony was quiet, Steve took a turn to speak. He understood Tony fully. He was scared. All of this was new to him. Everything he had experienced before was toxic and unhealthy. Now that he finally had a chance with something healthy and new, he didn't know how to approach it. He was scared of the unknown, and Steve could definitely relate. “...Remember the night I got lost and you came to get me? We stood on the roof together, in the sunset. That night, Tony, I saw you for the first time. I saw the real Tony. And remember that night we were putting my closet together and we fell on the bed? Or the times we had those stupid pillow fights?”

Tony nodded.

“Everytime...every damn time I got to see the real you, Tony, I fell harder and harder.” Steve paused, feeling his emotions take physical form as they trailed down his cheek. “And I was terrified. I was terrified of having these forbidden thoughts, thoughts that I was taught to hate all my life. But that didn’t stop me. Ever since I saw you on that roof, Tones, I didn’t do anything to stop myself from loving you.” 

“Don’t say that,” Tony whispered as he choked. “Don’t say that.”

“Why?”

“Don’t love me, it won’t…”

“It won’t what, Tony?”

“You shouldn’t. I’m not...good enough.”

Steve had to clench his teeth to stop from sobbing even more. “Tony, you are more than I will ever deserve. You are more than the world deserves. You’re kind, generous, loving, talkative-”

“Stop.”

“Imaginative, smart-”

“Steve, stop.”

“Beautiful, so damn beautiful, lively, spontaneous-”

“Steve! Stop!” Tony sobbed as he clenched his stomach.  

“Why Tony?!” Steve shouted back. “Why should I not tell you how damn amazing you are? Tell you how much you mean to me? How much I love you for everything you’ve done for me? For others?”

“Because I don’t deserve it!”

“Yes you do! Tony, you deserve everything and I won’t stop, there won’t be a day where I stop trying to help you see that.” 

“Then you’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, maybe I am. Maybe that’s what love does to me.”

Tony seethed, whipping his head up to glare at Steve. “Stop saying that word. Stop saying that I deserve everything. I don’t! I’m a sad, pathetic man who just tries to make up for his mistakes everyday. Trying to make up for my mistakes doesn’t make me generous. It doesn't make me deserve a guy like you. A guy who's perfect, funny, creative, empathetic and...you.”

“Tony, we all make mistakes. That’s what makes us human. Serum be damned, I still screw up. I lost you for example. I lost you and let you suffer. And no matter what you say, I’m going to still kick myself everyday over it. Because you don’t deserve that. Not even for a second. You, Tony Stark, deserve everything good in the world. You’ve been hurt, all your life by the people you’ve loved. So, Tony, let me show you what you deserve. Let me show you how you should be treated. Because ever since our worlds have collided, I’ve loved you.” 

The smaller man was staring at Steve with an expression of a scowl and confusion. Despite this, a sob escaped his lips. Steve leaned forward to slowly wrap his arms around Tony’s body. When Tony didn't pull away, Steve leaned his cheek into Tony's soft curls. Tony wound his own arms around Steve’s chest as well, completing the hug. Both their bodies wracked with sobs as they each cried out their frustrations. 

“I love you, and I will always love you, Tony. I will do anything for you. I promise,” Steve whispered into his hair. “Our worlds collided for a reason, and I love you for a million more reasons.” 

“I love you too,” Tony whispered back. It caused a smile to crack onto Steve’s face. He must have been smiling like an idiot as tears slipped down his face, but he didn’t care. He was finally happy. Truly happy. 

After a few minutes, Steve’s hand gently hooked under Tony’s chin and lifted it so his eyes were staring into Steve’s. Steve's eyes took in everything they could in that moment: the curve of Tony's plush lips, the shine in his almond eyes, the sharp twist of his goatee, the five curls that brushed against his forehead. He waited for Tony to initiate the next move and was happy to see him slowly push forward. Gently, their lips touched once again, making Steve shiver. Having Tony in his arms, tasting Tony's lips, and hearing him say that he loved Steve was something that he thought he would experience only in his dreams. Here he was though, gently kissing Tony as the other man’s arms wound around his neck. The words 'I love you' were still fresh on Tony's lips and tasted so sweet to Steve. In return, Steve placed the hand that wasn’t cupping Tony’s cheek on his waist, pulling him closer. Their bodies collided just as their lips had done, and Steve finally felt like he was where he belonged. He was where he was supposed to be. He was home.

Chapter Text

Steve

Steve's first kiss had been with Peggy. It was everything he had ever imagined and more. In the rush of the moment, it had just happened. The kiss was a soft unspoken goodbye that seemed to put the entire world on pause. In their minds, the car they were speeding down the runway in seemed to freeze as they pressed their lips together gently. It was loving and sweet and ended way too quickly as Steve forced himself to pull away. He will never forget that fairytale kiss. 

In the nursing home, on one of his visits, Steve had asked Peggy about it. He described the moment to her as she smiled sadly. It had been a good day for Peggy as her mind was at ease and clear. 

"Even after all these years, you never lost that romantic sap mindset of yours," she laughed after hearing Steve's rendition. Her laugh was a beautiful sound that made a permanent place in Steve's heart. 

"I guess I haven't," he replied as he rubbed his neck sheepishly.  

She hummed in approval as her eyes grew softer and distant, recounting the memory herself. "That was a kiss right out of a movie. A fairytale kiss if that. And even with my aging memory, I will never forget it." 

Steve smiled after that and laid his hand on hers, holding it lovingly. They shared a bittersweet moment of silence, cherishing what they had in the past but also mourning what they could have had and lost.  

Peggy's hand was soft, softer than most considering the field she was in. They differed from Tony's greatly. His were rough and calloused from years in the workshop. Sometimes they were smooth after a manicure, but that only happened when he went to business meetings and trips. Steve loved Tony's hands nonetheless. They were larger than Peggy's but still small enough to fit perfectly in Steve's larger one. 

Peggy already knew all of this, though. Steve would tell her everything about Tony. She would hear all about his eyes, smile, laugh, genius mind, inventions, and anything else that Steve could think of. Everything Steve spoke about him, she would smile sweetly and encourage him to even make a move. She was well aware of the blooming relationship and was fond of Steve's success in growing his life in this future. She knew that the both of them were disheartened by their missed chance at life together, but it warmed Peggy's heart to see Steve happy, truly happy. She had lived a full and content life, now it was Steve's turn to continue his. 

Each visit left Steve's heart a little more heavy as Peggy started to forget more and more and become less and less aware. Nonetheless, she always remembered Steve's smiling face and always returned an even larger one when their eyes met. She remained positive and always offered him any advice when he needed it. 

"You need to go after him, Steve, don't let fear block your path towards love. You always were so obvious with your feelings and I can tell what you feel about him. But if he tries anything, anything at all that hurts you, I'm never too old to get out of this bed and kick his ass." 

She kept her sass and fiery personality with every conversation she had with Steve. She always knew what to say to point Steve in the right direction or settle his troubled mind with her peaceful words. And after every visit, she would give Steve a small kiss on the cheek before he left. It caused a blush to invade his face every time, which always ignited a chuckle between them. Their friendship was something that Steve cherished greatly. It was an escape back to the past, providing him with at least some sense of closure. He always treasured her kisses, and they had always been his favorite, that is they used to be. Once Steve had kissed Tony, everything had changed. Peggy’s were always gentle and sweet, but kissing Tony was like being in the front row at a fireworks show. They traveled up his spine before exploding into a colorful display in Steve’s chest. The colors rained down as butterflies that would sink into his stomach. 

The way that Tony would dig his nails into Steve’s arm and the way his hand would grasp Steve’s hair as if he could press Steve’s body any closer to his, drove the soldier absolutely insane. This was uncharted territory for Steve, straight into the unknown, and he loved every moment of it. It was exciting and fun and thrilling. It made him feel like he was at the peak of his youth and nothing could stop them. 

Of course, with fireworks also comes danger. The evening Steve brought Tony home from the hospital was a night he would never forget. The unknown and the explosions were becoming too much to handle. He needed to answer some questions, and Tony wasn't willing to provide any answers. His anger spiked and grew out of his control. In the heat of the moment, Steve snapped and snapped too far. Each of his words hit Tony like a bullet, lodging deep into his heart. And with each word, Steve could visibly see the damage, though he didn’t register it until it was too late.

He had no excuse. Immediate shame flooded his being, making him feel absolutely disgusted with himself. Seeing how Tony had broken down so violently made Steve want to beat himself to a pulp. Though, it felt like a weight had been lifted off the both of them once all of those negative emotions were released. Steve’s anger and anxieties had all vanished as soon as Tony said those 3 words back to him. His heart swelled as they shared another kiss that put the Titanic kiss to shame. 

At first it was sweet and simple, but as soon as Tony's hand wrapped around his neck, the fireworks that Steve loved so much started to go off. Steve opened his mouth in surprise which allowed Tony's tongue to dive past his own and take full control of the kiss. The smaller man pulled on Steve's golden hair, turning his head so their mouths slotted together perfectly. The hand that Steve held Tony's cheek with slipped down to join the other one in resting on Tony's waist. 

"I love you." The whisper poured from Tony's lips like honey. It made Steve want to practically melt into a puddle of honey with it, but instead, he breathed out a noise that sounded a lot like a growl. 

To that, Tony exhaled something that sounded a lot like a moan. That sound was what prompted the soldier to grab Tony's hips and pull his body up so he sat on his lap. Instinctively, Tony wrapped his legs around Steve's waist mindful of his own broken foot. A feeling bloomed in Steve's chest that was dark but amazingly dark. It was possessive, hungering, and demanding, and it all stemmed from Tony and how his tongue swirled around Steve's. It stemmed from the weight of Tony's body on Steve's. And it stemmed from all the thoughts that started to grow in Steve's head, all the thoughts of what he could do, of what he wanted to do to Tony. He wanted Tony all to himself; he wanted Tony to say those 3 words over and over; he wanted everyone to know that Tony was his and he was Tony's. 

Steve could never get tired of that gorgeous mouth and what it was doing, but his curious nature started to get the best of him. He wanted to see what Tony's skin tastes like, if it tasted as good as it looked and felt. He let his mouth break free from where Tony had held it hostage. A whine stirred from the brunette, adding to the pool of heat that was accumulating inside of the blonde's stomach. The whine soon morphed into a purr as Steve's lips brushed against Tony's chin and jawline. The facial hair tickled his lips, making him giggle quietly as he made his way along Tony's neck. He stopped for only a minute to give the nearby earlobe a nip, but then continued down the tan slope of skin. With each kiss came a labored breath that Tony forced from his lungs. Steve stopped, though, at the juncture between Tony's neck and shoulder to nip and then bite down. 

A sharp gasp erupted from Tony as his blunt fingernails clawed into Steve's scalp at the sensation. The legs around Steve's waist tightened and trembled as Steve's mouth bit, licked and sucked a perfect mark on the olive skin. Tony's skin tasted similarly like his mouth: exotic and sweet, like coconuts. He couldn't put a name to it in that moment, but all he knew was that it was spicy and he loved it. 

The hands that were in the soldier's hair soon left to claw at his t-shirt, pulling and jerking it up towards his head. The heat in his stomach doubled at that, making his mind finally wake up. 

"Tony," he groaned, still finishing up the hickey. 

"Steve.”

That didn’t help at all. The sound of his own name on the very lips that he just fell in love with seemed to ignite the heating pool of want in his stomach even more. The fireworks started up again and were even louder than before. 

In a more demanding tone, Steve growled Tony’s name again. This time one of his hands traveled from Tony’s hip and up his back to grasp a handful of the many dark curls brushing the nape of his neck. Gently, Steve pulled Tony’s head so they could look at each other’s faces. Tony’s pupils were blown in a beautiful way half covered by his eyelids. His face displayed a dark expression full of desire and impatience. His lips were starting to pout, making Steve use every ounce of self control he had to not attack them with his own.

“You’re so beautiful,” Steve whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

“You’d be even more beautiful without this damn shirt,” Tony whispered back in a harsh tone, giving the poor tshirt another violent tug.

Steve laughed, pecking a kiss onto Tony’s flushed cheek. “As much as I’d like to take it off, I think we should wait.”

Tony gaped at him, hands leaving Steve’s neck to press against his chest so he could lean back and glare. “Wait?! Wait for what?!”

“Well for one, you’re still recovering-”

“Barely.”

“ Two ,” Steve continued after being interrupted. “We are on the floor of a parking garage. And three, I’d like to take you on a couple dates first.” 

“Alright. Well I think we’ve already skipped a few steps when we jumped straight to the L word.”

Steve took a minute to laugh and readjust Tony’s body, so he sat more comfortably on Steve’s thighs. “Please? I never got a chance to properly court you. And before you say this isn’t the 40’s, I know. But that doesn’t make me want to woo you any less. You deserve it. I want to show you how you deserve to be treated.”

“Wow, Steve. Just wow.’” Tony sat back far enough that if Steve’s arms weren’t holding his waist, he’d fall back. 

“What?” Steve asked innocently with an amused huff.

“I’m just surprised that you could get any cheesier. Didn’t think that was possible.” 

“Oh, this is only the beginning. I’m gonna romance the crap out of you,” Steve said as he nuzzled his smile into the fresh bruise on Tony’s neck. 

The engineer let out a giggle as he attempted to playfully shove Steve’s head away. “My only mode of transportation has been destroyed, though.”

Steve looked down at the bent crutches with pity but also surprise. Tony may be small, but he had to use a lot of force in that swing to bend the metal so much. His body was shorter than most, but it was lined with lean, pure muscle that had developed over years of heavy lifting in the workshop. 

“I’m starting to think you did that on purpose,” Steve purred, hands dancing up and down Tony’s sides, feeling the muscle there tense and arch at the touch. “So I’d have to carry you up.”

“Wow, Steve. I was just thinking this was a great possibility for me to get a scooter, but if you really want to…” 

Without another word, Steve moved one hand underneath Tony and swiftly stood up with the brunette clinging to him like a koala. Together they climbed into the elevator that sat there for all that time and just stared at each other. Every now and then, Tony would peck a kiss onto Steve’s face or neck and then lean back with a smirk. The window on the back wall illuminated them both in a beautiful purple light similar to the one that washed over them the night that Steve got lost in the city. 

The soldier backed Tony into one of the walls so he could lean him against it and use one of his hands to support Tony while the other roamed his chest. Unable to help himself, Steve’s fingers found their way up the genius’ shirt and over his stomach. He traced the tips of his fingers up, over the budding nipples and to the center. The arc reactor’s glow was too strong for the shirt that Tony had on as it showed right through the cotton fabric. It’s blue light combined with the one outside to light Tony’s face with a periwinkle type of color. It highlighted his lashes, cheekbones, and lips as he threw his head back against the wall. He clenched his teeth as Steve traced around the ring of skin surrounding the reactor before biting his lip beautifully. 

As soon as the elevator doors opened, Steve ripped his hand away with a knowing smile, loving the way that Tony groaned at the loss of the teasing touch. He walked onto their floor which was dark and untouched from the weeks of being unoccupied. He went past the living room, down the hall and into their bedroom. Once he entered the bathroom, he bent forward and placed Tony onto the marble counter with a small kiss on the forehead. 

“Now what?” Tony’s face grew into a smirk as he reached around Steve’s trim waist to grope his ass. 

The larger man grunted at the sudden sensation but covered it up with clearing his throat. “You take a shower. Or probably a bath is safer in case you slip. You smell like hospital.”

Tony’s hands traveled down to the back of Steve’s thighs, still groping. “You care to join?”

“Date first, Tones.”

With a very loud and very exaggerated groan, Tony threw his head back and (much to Steve’s disappointment) dropped his hands back to his sides. “You’re gonna give me blue balls, you know that?” 

“What a drama queen…” Steve said with an eye roll as he leaned away from his partner to start running the bath. 

“That’s right, I am a queen,” Tony replied as he sat up straighter and kicked his non broken foot out and started to swing it. “And the queen has a coconut bath bomb in the cabinet he would like to use.”

Steve looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“The white ball of soap in the cabinet,” he clarified in a dry tone. “It dissolves and makes me smell nice. I need it because apparently I smell like sick people.”

The cabinet was full of different soaps, razors and hair products, but on the 3rd shelf up there was a box of dusty, perfumy balls wrapped individually. Steve grabbed the only white one there that was labeled ‘Caribbean Coconut Bath Bomb’. He handed it to Tony who tore the wrapping and tossed the powdery soap into the still filling tub. As soon as it hit the water, Steve watched in awe as it started to fizzle and release a sparkly foam. 

“No get out of here, you peeping tom,” Tony said with a mocking high pitch voice. He hopped down from the counter on his good foot and began to lift his shirt over his head. 

Nodding his head, Steve left the bathroom and left the door cracked. “I’d say ‘yell if you need anything’, but I’m sure you would anyway.” 

“Out!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve hummed as he went into the kitchen to grab a snack. 

--<>--

Tony

Once Tony’s body hit the water, he absolutely melted into it. The smells of the beach slowly wafted into his nose making his arms almost give out as he lowered himself into the water. His casted foot leaned over the edge, though, missing out on the relaxing water. 

The one thing that would make the bath perfect would be if Steve were to magically pull the stick out of his ass and join him. Leaning against that chest with those strong arms surrounding him would have made Tony melt right into the water. He respected Steve’s decision though. He understood it but was also confused by it, for no one had ever desired to do that for him. The only people who gave Tony ‘special treatment’ were Pepper and Rhodey, but they had always been his friends. He was used to that. This, however, was new. Steve not only refused to have sex with him, but also teased him with it before saying he wanted to ‘woo him first’. What kind of forties bullshit was that? 

Whatever that meant, Tony agreed. His chest was also still aching slightly as it continued to heal, not that Tony would admit that to Steve. This was different anyway, whatever they had. It wasn’t just some one night stand or fake tabloid relationship. This was Steve. The Steve that had told Tony that he loved him and the same Steve that Tony said ‘I love you’ to back. This was something with emotions, complex emotions that were built over time, over a developing relationship. 

Tony’s chest fluttered thinking of all of the ‘moments’ the two of them shared and finally started to understand why Steve desired to make their first time so special. He wanted to make it special because he thought Tony was special. Because he thought Tony deserved that. 

The brunette wasn’t going to lie to himself, though. He was still pretty mad at the blond for the things he had said out of anger. He didn’t mean it, but it was true. Everything Steve had done, he had done for Tony. Steve cooked for him, helped him through his nightmares, spent time with him, dealt with his insufferable nature, and even saved his life. And what had Tony done in return? House him and buy him art supplies? Wow, great job, genius. 

And so, sitting slouched in the tub of steaming beachy water, Tony began to run through his head for ideas. Steve wasn’t flashy like himself. He also didn’t care too much about possessions or things that money could buy. Then, it hit him. Just as Tony considered buying Steve a goldfish, he knew what to do. He would have to access his romantic side for this idea too. Damn, he hasn’t done that since he and Pepper were a thing. 

 --<>--

Finishing up in the bath, Tony drained the water and wrapped a towel around himself, careful to keep his cast dry. He looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced. The reflection wasn’t as bad as it was the first time he saw it in the hospital, but it still caused his face to cringe at the sight. The dark bruises had just about faded, but his face was still slightly sunken in from malnourishment and dehydration. His ‘goatee’ was now the start of a scruffy beard and looked horrendous. Balancing on one foot, he dug through one of the vanity drawers for his electric razor. Within just minutes of using it, Tony started to feel better. With the shaving cream and a hand razor, he finished it up by sculpting it back to its former glory. 

His eye flickered down to a new mark on his neck that was still red, but starting to turn purple. A smirk danced on his face at the sight of it. The idea that Steve, innocent, caring Steve, could be possessive enough to mark Tony made his stomach flutter. Steve was the embodiment of care, love, innocence and protectiveness, but only Tony knew that there was another side of him. Everytime they kissed Steve would grip Tony and hold him like that was the only place he should be. It made Tony feel like Steve wanted Tony and there was no one who could take Tony from him. The trend of possessiveness and hunger (that no one could even fathom Steve having) gave Tony utter chills, and seeing this mark just proved it. It excited Tony in a way he had never felt before. It was Steve's sweetness that had attracted Tony at first, and then it was the fire that Steve showed towards Tony that pulled him to stay. 

As Tony thought about this, he started to get excited . Of course he respected Steve's wishes and did want to take this slow. His worst nightmare would be ruining what they have, but how was Steve expecting Tony to not jump the man when he did this ?: marking Tony, touching him like he only belonged to Steve, holding him like he was the most precious thing in the world. 

Once he was calmed down, Tony secured his towel and cracked the door open. The bedroom was vacant and silent, but it sounded like the tv was on in the living room. 

"Steve!" Tony called, smiling at the sudden stampede of footsteps coming towards him. 

The soldier came barging into the room, mouth full of a portion of the apple he clutched in his hand. His eyes were practically bulging from his head as he scanned the room. "Wha' happened? You fall? Are you okay?" 

Tony rolled his eyes as he hopped once in the doorway to emphasize his point. "Assistance, please."

Steve's mouth formed an 'O' after he swallowed. Biting the apple to hold it in his mouth, Steve walked over, arms outstretched to carry Tony bridal style. 

Something came out of Steve's mouth that sounded a lot like 'sorry', but Tony wasn't really sure. He grabbed the apple from Steve's mouth, taking a bite from the other side and placing it back between his teeth. As he chewed, he slightly regretted it as it was an empire apple (sue him, he's more of a gala guy). Grimacing while he swallowed, Steve laughed as he placed Tony on the bench in the closet. 

"That's what you get for eating my food," Steve purred as he tossed Tony a pair of basketball shorts and a shirt. 

"Yeah yeah. At least I'm not the weirdo who likes those pieces of garbage." 

Tony got dressed as they continued to tease each other about apples. The conversation continued throughout dinner as they ate some grilled chicken Steve made but slowly turned towards which salad dressing was the best. At some point in the conversation, Steve eventually got tired of it and changed the topic to 'why aren't there flying cars yet? What have you guys been so busy with that you haven't developed them yet?' which led to a whirlwind of lecturing from Tony as Steve stared at him in admiration. 

It was a nice night: relaxing and peaceful. They finished dinner, and ended the night with Tony showing Steve what the show Friends was. As it started to grow late, Steve brought Tony to bed, propping his foot up and making sure he was comfortable. 

Tony lay there with closed eyes as Steve's breathing started to even out. He must have been tired because within 20 minutes, the blond was heavy breathing with his arm thrown over Tony's waist. The room was silent other than that. It did soothe Tony to hear that Steve was there, that Steve was with him and wasn't going anywhere, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to calm the intense panic he got when he closed his eyes and saw him . It wasn't enough to calm his heart when he felt the hands on him, felt the water running into his nose and mouth, felt the scalpel slowly carving into his skin, and heard his own echoing screams inside his head. 

Tony's eyes shot open, rapidly scanning the room to check if there was anyone else in the room but them. There wasn't. Just Steve sleeping soundly, face pressed into the pillow right near Tony's shoulder. He could feel the soldiers breath ghosting his skin ever so lightly. He looked so peaceful, so at rest. Who was Tony to wake him with his pathetic nightmares? Hell, he couldn’t even close his eyes without panicking.

So, this was how it was going to be, the first night without sleeping medication. The first night home. 

Slowly, Tony slid out from under Steve's arm and lowered himself to the floor. As he quietly crawled to the door, he froze hearing Steve shift. From the light from the window Tony could see his arm subconsciously searching the bed. It stopped though once it registered that the other side was empty, making Tony's stomach twist guiltily as he crawled to the elevator. 

If his brain couldn't rest, mind as well put it to good use. 

Chapter Text

Steve  

Steve had his suspicions. He was entitled to have them, for there were so many signs. Of course he didn't want to be pushy though. Tony was going through this how he was going to go through this. If he needed Steve, the soldier would be right there just in case. He would always be. The thing was, he hadn’t needed Steve. The only reason he needed him was to carry him to and fro before his new crutches were delivered. And this, in no way, meant that Steve wanted Tony to have nightmares, PTSD, and trauma from what happened, but he just was expecting it. Everyone was. The first few nights were peaceful to say the least. Everynight Steve would go to sleep holding Tony and every morning he would wake up with the man still in his arms. Said man would always be happy and smiling, giving Steve a quick kiss on the cheek. 

At first, it was weird. But by the 3rd night, Steve had grown to accept it. He was overly thankful that Tony was ok and his mind was at ease. So upon seeing the dark circles that still wouldn’t fade under Tony’s eyes, the giant amount of work Tony would get done within a day in the workshop, and the slight tremble of Tony’s hands, Steve would cloud the suspicious signs with his thankfulness that everything was going great. He only wished he hadn’t let his optimism cloud his judgement though because maybe it wouldn’t have gotten so bad. 

On the 5th night, Steve was sleeping soundly when he started to have a nightmare. He dreamt of the day that they got the phone call from Tony and headed to his location. In his dream, however, when they got there, the gas station was abandoned. The only thing that they could find was a dark red trail. It glistened in the sunlight, burning a hole through Steve’s stomach as he followed the line of blood to the Hydra base. Somehow, his team had lost him in the woods and he was alone as he entered the facility. He sprinted as he followed the trail to a musty, dark cell. In the cell lay Tony, except his chest wasn’t moving. His vivid brown eyes stared at the wall, never blinking. They were dull and grey, empty of life. A knife was embedded in his stomach, leaving a hole for the blood trail to leak out of. 

The air from Steve’s lung left as he frantically pulled on the bars, but they wouldn’t budge. His heart hammered rapidly in his chest as the cell started to get smaller and Tony’s body started to disappear. Steve opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out. He looked at his hands and watched in horror as they started to freeze over. A thick sheet of ice started to crawl it’s way up his arms as Tony’s corpse got further and further from him. 

As soon as his eyes flew open, Steve’s arm desperately searched the bed for Tony’s body. When he felt nothing, his head whipped over to see a vacant space next to him. The red numbers from the alarm clock burned ‘3:14’ into his mind. His heart still hadn't calmed down yet as he sat up and scanned the room. The first thought that purged his mind was: Hydra. The doctor’s crazed look invaded his vision as he imagined a scenario where he was somehow able to infiltrate the tower and take Tony right from under him. Again. 

“Tony?” Steve’s voice shook as he threw the sweat soaked blanket off of himself. “Tony?” 

He stood on trembling legs that practically ran through the floor, scanning the empty bathroom, kitchen and living room. 

“Tony!” Unaware of the tears streaming down his red cheeks, Steve ran to the elevator and hit the button for the workshop. 

Rubbing his clammy hands on his sleep pants, Steve’s crazed eyes stared as the numbers slowly counted down. He had to be here, where would Tony have gone? They couldn’t have taken Tony, it just couldn’t happen. The elevator doors opened to reveal the workshop fully lit. 

“Tony!” Steve called, but got no answer. His eyes jumped from the iron man suit in the corner to the row of cars along the back wall and finally to the work bench. There, surrounded by 4 computers, sat his favorite brunette. He stared down at some strange gadget with a pout playing on his lips. Steve loved that pout, but not more than he did right now. He tried to inhale to get his nerves to calm down, but it did nothing. His hands twitched desperately, needing physical proof that Tony was actually there. 

Furiously, he tried to whip away the tears that were blurring his vision as he took huge strides to where Tony sat. Music was being blasted into his ears from the earbuds, blocking all signs of Steve’s presence. As gently as he could, Steve laid a hand on Tony’s shoulder. That was when it all went to hell. 

As soon as his hand made contact with Tony’s body, the genius grabbed a screwdriver that laid next to him and swung it straight into Steve’s arm. It hurt . The soldier cried out, retracting his hand as Tony’s wide shaking eyes stared up at him. It took them a minute to come out of their panicked state as they took in the scene before them. Immediately, Tony gasped, ripping the earbuds from his ears as he covered his mouth. Steve staggered back, glaring in shock at the tool that was still jammed into his bicep. A small line of blood trickled down his arm and hit the floor with a splat, followed by a few other drops. 

“Oh...oh my gosh! F*ck, Steve! F*ck!” 

Steve’s blank mind watched as the genius’ hands scrambled to find a clean towel among the pile on the desk. The entire time, Steve’s heart hasn’t slowed down. It was still rushing with record breaking speed. It could even be compared with the speed at which Tony’s hands were shaking. He watched the hands dig through the pile of towels, but they weren’t doing a too good job as the shaking made them useless. 

After a few seconds, Steve’s mind finally started to catch up to the events as his eyes traveled to look at Tony’s face. His hollow cheeks, pale face, and dark eyes all stood out dramatically in the blaring lights of the workshop. Tony’s mouth was moving, mouthing what looked like ‘I’m sorry’ over and over and over. He probably was unaware of the tears that were starting to fall on the several sheets of blueprints below him. 

By then, the pain in Steve’s arm had decreased substantially and the blood started to clot. Without much thought, Steve’s hand gripped the handle of the screwdriver and pulled. The tool came out without much force but caused much more blood to leak from it. As if right on time, Tony scrambled over to Steve, clenching a dark grey towel between his trembling hands. He was still muttering apologies, but they were starting to sound more like sobs. 

Steve watched as Tony pressed the towel to his wound even though it was already starting to clot. 

“I didn’t mean- I didn’t mean to do that. It won’t happen again. I’m so sorry, I’ll-” Tony muttered on and on, his entire body shaking at this point. 

Steve felt his heart break at the sudden realization of what actually had been going on. Slowly, Steve raised his free arm, wrapping it around Tony. His body was practically vibrating with nerves, but Steve still held him there, pulling him against his chest. His lungs took in a shaky breath, inhaling the scent of Tony’s shampoo. His thumb rubbed Tony’s shoulder as he took in the man all he could, convincing himself that Tony was real, that Tony was here. 

“I had a nightmare...that I lost you. Woke up and you weren’t there.” As Steve spoke, Tony’s body tensed with every word. “Needed to see that you were okay.” 

Tony remained silent, but finally stopped pressing the wound that was now fully clotted. 

“You haven’t been sleeping...have you?”

Tony shook his head against Steve’s head hesitantly. 

“You can’t sleep, so you’ve been going down here.”

Another nod. 

“Tony,” Steve sighed, releasing Tony slightly to look him in the eye. 

His eyes were full to the brim with unshed tears, but Steve could tell by the way his mouth was set that he was trying to remain strong. His teeth remained clenched as did his fists. 

It wasn’t til then that Steve finally realized their situation. His chest filled with something sour as it shook with laughter. It was pathetic laughter though, laughter at the idea that they were two grown ass men and they were crying. One crying over the fact that he hadn’t slept in 5 days, had been hiding it from everyone, and had stabbed Steve in the arm with a screwdriver. The other crying over the fact that he had had a horrific nightmare and over the fact that he was so oblivious to the signs of Tony’s obvious self destructive behavior. 

Tony looked stunned at Steve’s laughter, but it soon turned into a small smile as he looked down at the bloodied towel. He started to laugh as well, wiping his tears from before.  

"What a pair are we, huh?” Steve asked as soon as he caught his breath. 

"I'm sorry, I know that I have to start being better, but-" 

"Tony, all I'm asking is that you talk to me. You've gone through something extremely traumatic, and you need to know that I'm here for a reason. That the team is here for a reason. I'm here for you, to support you. And you're here to support me." 

Gently, Steve's thumb brushed under Tony's downcast eyes, drifting over a cascading tear. The engineer sucked in a large breath, his chest shaking as he did. Steve matched it, trying to calm his own chaotic mind. 

"It's just...everytime I close my eyes I see him. I feel...everything. His hands, their hands are all over me. The pain, it hurts so bad, and I feel like I can't breathe. All that water is in my lungs and it hurts. And it's...embarrassing. That I went through this before, I should be able to handle it, I should be ok, be able to get over it by now." Tony's voice cracked but turned sour as he seemed to start lecturing himself. His hand gripped Steve's, nails digging into the soldiers skin. "Why am I so messed over this? Its like every thing that happens to me breaks me. I'm supposed to be invincible, strong, show everyone that I'm strong. But I'm so weak, I'm so pathetic..." 

Steve felt his heart break over what Tony was saying. He could see the man's pain so clearly over his face and in his voice. This was a rare thing, to see Tony display his emotions and thoughts so clearly and in the open. Despite the darkness of the moment, it partially touched Steve that Tony trusted him this closely to share this with him. It made him feel more sturdy in himself to have the responsibility to be strong for Tony, to show Tony that what he felt was okay and that he in himself was strong. 

"Tony, you are nothing close to weak. You are by far, the strongest person I know. And you know why?" Steve asked when Tony shook his head in denial. "You made it so far. Any other person would have given up where you strived. You refused to give in and kept fighting. You, Tony Stark, are the most persistent bastard I have ever known. And what makes you stronger is how you are opening up to me. I don't know if you know how much this means to me. That you chose me to open up so much to, for you to show these emotions is so impressive. And if you need help, then that's okay. It doesn't make you weak to ask for help. It makes you strong because it shows that you want to keep fighting and keep going." 

Tony stayed silent, staring at the ground before a small smile finally fell onto his lips. "You really do sound like a cheesy motivational speaker sometimes." 

"Well, I am Captain America, aren't I? I'm the embodiment of motivation and all that crap." The soldier laughed quietly, cherishing the way Tony's smile grew as he brushed his own tears with his hoodie. 

In a last effort of comfort, Steve wrapped his large arms around Tony's small frame. He pulled the man into his chest, burying his face into those dark curls he loved so much. Tony's arms snaked around Steve's tight waist, returning the embrace sweetly. Although Steve's nose started to twitch at the horrid smell coming from Tony that was of slight B.O., sweat, and gasoline. 

"I'm sorry to ruin the moment, but you smell. Damn, Tony." Steve pulled back to look down at the glaring engineer. 

"One moment you're being all supportive and sappy and the next you're insulting me. What the hell, Steve?" Tony pulled away entirely from Steve to grab his phone off the desk and log off his computer. 

As he sputtered, Steve tried to come up with a retort but ended up just stuttering. "What?! It's not my fault that you not only chose not to sleep but also not to shower." 

"I wanna break up. We're done. You're way too mean to me." Tony started walking away on his crutches, waving his oil covered hand at Steve as he made his way to the elevator. 

Steve heart stuttered just like his mouth had done not 5 seconds ago. "B-break up?" 

"Yup." Was all Steve got in return as Tony entered the elevator. The soldier rushed behind, joining the billionaire. 

"S-so we're dating? It's official?" He couldn't help the dopey grin that filled his face at the official thought. He and Tony were dating. He was dating Tony Stark . Not the media Tony Stark or Iron Man, but the real Tony. 

"Yeah, well, not anymore, sunshine," Tony picked at his nails, seeming uninterested in Steve's presence entirely. 

"'Not anymore'? What do you mean? All I said is you need a shower!" 

"Uh, no, you said that I smelled." 

The boys continued to finalize their breakup as they made their way back into the bedroom, Tony stripping to his boxers and Steve grabbing his towel. 

"No, you do not get to keep Natasha. She'd definitely stay with me and be on my side. You can take Clint," Tony sighed as he entered the bathroom and cracked the door. 

"Fine then I get Thor too," Steve retorted, leaning against the wall next to the bathroom. He crossed his arms over his chest, wearing an amused smile. 

"What?! Uh, no. No no no." The water turned on and Tony stepped into the shower. "Who do you think has enough money to buy him poptarts?" 

"Do you know how much money I can get from signing posters and selling them on ebay?" 

"Who the hell taught you about ebay? If it was Clint I swear- Steve, if I see your underwear for sale on there I'm gonna-" 

Steve laughed, grabbing a random shoe from the closet and sticking his arm through the cracked door. He aimed for the shower entrance which he knew Tony left open to talk to Steve and threw. Tony squawked just before the water shut off. 

"Oh, so that's how it's gonna be. You want a messy divorce? You'll get a messy divorce. Changing from pillow fights to shoe fights, fine!" 

Steve let out a rather unmanly scream as the door burst open and Tony ran out in only a towel, dripping wet. He held the grey sneaker above his head, running after Steve as he ran down the hallway. They played tag for a bit, running around the kitchen island and around the couch. Tony took a chance and finally aimed at Steve in the hallway but missed. Steve caught it with ease, smiling as Tony visibly swallowed. They took a few more laps before Tony ran into the bedroom and dove under the covers, still holding up his towel. With his other hand, he grabbed a pillow and held it up threateningly. 

"Oh, I see, but isn't that ammunition quite outdated?" Steve inquired, still holding his shoe. 

Tony smirked. "Ah yes, but it's such a classic." 

Steve threw the shoe, soft enough to not cause harm but hard enough to do it's damage. Just as suspected, Tony took defense and used his pillow shield to block the attack, giving Steve the perfect opening to dive in, tackling Tony to the bed, pinning him underneath himself. The genius barked out a snort followed by laughter just as Steve laughed too. They shared a moment before Steve rolled to the side off of Tony and looked over to him. Without much warning, Tony lunged forward, kissing Steve with much force. It was heated and loving as he cupped Steve's cheek. The blond let his hand hover high above Tony's hip before instincts took over and he placed the hand down, feeling the smooth, hot skin. 

He could feel Tony shudder as he nipped at Steve's bottom lip playfully. Steve would do anything to have Tony right there and then. The only thing holding him back being a towel...and his manners. When he pulled away, Tony pouted but soon smiled. 

"I just realized, we never got a marriage certificate. Good luck returning me without the receipt, bitch." 

Steve laughed and lightly smacked Tony's arm. "You're ridiculous. Go get dressed." 

Once they were both in their pjs and under the covers, Steve turned off the light and turned to pull Tony towards him. Gently, he hugged Tony from behind, nosing the nap of his neck. 

Tony inhaled deeply before he whispered. "Love you, Steve." 

Steve's heart swelled. "Love you too, Tones." 

Chapter Text

Tony

The first few nights after Tony’s breakdown and Steve’s... stabbing (if you wanted to call it that) were rough. Almost every couple hours he would wake up or be woken up by Steve as he screamed his throat dry and sobbed horrifically. Every dream was about the water, cutting and every other tortuorous memory that Tony’s mind could conjure up. He hated it, he would so much rather go down into the lab and forget the idea of sleep all together. Of course, that was not an option according to Steve. It also pained Tony to imagine the soldier having another night terror about him and waking up to an empty bed. With each and every nightmare Tony was awoken from, Steve was always there, always. This made Tony want to be just as good and just as supportive. The man deserved it. Of course Tony subconsciously thought that he deserved better, but it caused Tony to want to be better. To be better for Steve. Slowly, the nightmares became less and less aggressive and vivid. With each night, they were able to get longer intervals between each and soon enough it was only 1 every other night or so. 

The team came back within the next week, lacking any possible leads. Hydra was an extremely elusive organization that was ultimately impossible to track down. Tony would have been very impressed if they had returned with anything more than what they started with. All possible leads were dead ends and all possible finds were dry. 

The idea of Khan still out there did disturb Tony to his core, but being in the tower surrounded by the team was enough to mask that fear and help him slowly get over that fact. His recovery was going well and soon he was able to graduate from a cast to a boot. The doctors said his foot should be fully healed in a month or two with occasional physical therapy and time. 

Bruce and Thor became official members of the Avengers and had moved into their own floors. That was what prompted Steve and Tony to make a final decision on their living arrangements. They mutually agreed to both take the penthouse while Thor took their old room, and Bruce took one of the other newly refurbished floors. During the renovation, one of the spare floors had been turned into another residential one, leaving Tony with one thought. It was possibly dangerous and left room for a horrible disaster, but he knew he had to give it a shot. 

Steve was getting dressed before a jog just as Tony was coming upstairs from another late night work binge. 

“Hello, soldier,” Tony purred, strutting up to Steve seductively. 

The blond looked up at him from where he was tying his sneaker and a grimace passed over his face. “What’s on your shirt?”

Tony looked down to see a strange orange stain on the dark blue tank he wore. “Um, maybe Chick Fil A sauce?” 

He sniffed it and instantly regretted it as he smelled something putred. 

“Oh, Tony, that’s disgusting. You better burn that shirt,” Steve laughed, shaking his head at Tony’s reaction to the stain. 

“Stupid stain, ruining the moment,” Tony muttered as he started walking towards the bathroom. 

Steve grabbed his water and started to head out when Tony turned and called out. 

“Oh, Steve, wait. I...I wanted to talk to you about something first.” 

The soldier’s blue eyes shined with concern for a moment before he nodded and walked back further into the room. “What’s going on?” He asked casually. His voice was soft and sweet, the tone he used when he was unsure how Tony was feeling and wanted to still be careful. 

“It’s about Bucky.”

Immediately, the soldier tensed as his eyes flickered with something Tony couldn’t quite name. “What about him?”

“Well, we’ve visited him a few times by now, and every day he says he’s feeling better and better and Shield even said he may be cleared really soon.” Tony paused and Steve nodded for him to go on, anticipating the point. “I was wondering, if he was up for it and if the team was ok with it, if we could possibly propose a position on the team to him.”

Steve’s eyes widened as he opened his mouth in surprise. “Tony…” he said, sounding like all the air had left his lungs. Before he could finish, Tony’s nerves fired up as he began to ramble. 

“I just wanted to ask you first since you know him better than any of us and it would also affect you so much. This is only a proposal too, he doesn’t have to accept. He could also just live here if he wants, to help get his feet on the ground rather than living with Shield because we know how horrid that is-”

“Tony,” Steve said louder this time. Tony looked up, scared for the reaction but stilled when he saw a giant smile on Steve’s face. “You’re being serious? You’d do that for him?” 

Tony shrugged. “I know our backgrounds are kind of screwed up with everything that happened, but I’m honestly okay with it. That wasn’t him and he’s trying to find himself. I’d feel better if I helped him in any way I could with that, as he was the one who saved my life. Oh, and you too.”

Steve rolled his eyes at Tony’s side note mention of the soldier performing CPR on him and being the one who restarted his heart, but smiled nonetheless. “I appreciate the recognition. But Tony, I-I don’t know what to say. I think that’s an amazing idea. I’d love to bring that to him!” 

In a flurry, Steve rushed over to Tony, gathering the engineer into his arms and lifting him into the air. Tony yelped as he was spun around. “What about the stain?”

A whole hearted laugh rumbled in Steve’s chest as he finally placed Tony onto the ground. “Screw the stain. I love you.” 

Tony’s chin was taken in Steve’s hand as his lips were captured in a genuine kiss. Tony smiled into it, cherishing the joy that he had caused Steve to feel. 

That evening, Tony took a long shower, shaved, fixed up his hair, and pulled out his most expensive cologne. He dressed himself in a pair of comfortable but nice jeans and a dark maroon button up. Once he was satisfied, he checked his phone for any messages. There was one from Fury, but he didn’t care. Steve had come back from his run, trained with Natasha and then went out. Tony wasn’t sure where, but that night was the night of their ‘date’. His heart was pounding with anxiousness and he was feeling a bit sweaty, but otherwise he was fine. Totally fine. He had literally slept in the same bed with the man for months, this should be no biggie. Tony had gone on hundreds of dates before. As much as he tried to convince himself otherwise, this one was different though. It was Steve. 

Eventually, there was a knock on the door that made Tony visibly jump from his perch on the bed. He opened it to reveal his favorite blond male holding a bouquet of gorgeous red roses with baby's breath peppered in. He wore the dorkiest smile that reminded Tony of a Charlie Brown character. He was also wearing a tan leather jacket and dark jeans, casual but very nice. Very Nice. 

Tony hid his laughter with clearing his throat as he straightened his posture and accepted the flowers. “Why thank you, Mr. Rogers.” 

“Mr. Stark, I believe we have a date,” Steve said as smoothly as he possibly could with his nerves which were displayed very obviously on his face and sweaty hands. 

“And what are our plans for tonight?” Tony placed the flowers in a glass cup of water on the counter and turned to Steve who only took a few steps into the room. 

“How about I take you downstairs and we find out, doll.” 

Gosh, Tony hated when Steve used that voice with that look on him. His eyes shined with mischief and caused Tony to force himself not to shiver. He accepted Steve’s elbow and allowed himself to be led down the hall to the elevator. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever gotten flowers on a date before now,” Tony said as he thought out loud. Steve tensed as he looked rather panicked. 

“Were they too much?”

“I actually really liked it. It was sweet. Very gentleman like.”

The elevator opened to the garage and Tony buzzed with excitement. This entire date was Steve’s idea, all except one thing. Tony had one last surprise up his sleeve and had to bite his lip to suppress his large smile. 

“Which car do you want to take, doll?” 

As Steve spoke, Tony guided them over to the corner with a devilish smile. “Well, you see. What I was thinking was why take a car, when you can take this?” 

Behind one of his silver audis was something covered in an old tarp. With as much pizzazz as Tony could muster, he ripped the tarp off to reveal a newly refurbished vintage 1940’s Harley Davidson. It was decorated with dark blue and chrome and two dark brown leather saddle bags. Tony looked over to Steve, his arms still stretched out from the big reveal. The soldier’s face was more shocked than happy, making Tony slightly uneasy. 

“Tada,” he said quietly as Steve’s eyes widened and his mouth gaped.

“Tony…” he whispered, unmoving from his spot. “Tony, is...is this-you...how?” 

Steve finally moved to ghost his fingers over the bike in amazement. “Well, I pulled some strings when I noticed you hadn’t even mentioned getting your old bike back. Figured you missed the old beauty. Do...do you like it?” Tony asked with an unsteady tone as he lowered his arms and wiped his damp hands over his jeans, displaying his insecurity rather openly. 

“‘Do I like it’? Tony, this is amazing! This is...so amazing, I don’t know what to say!” Once again, Tony was gathered into Steve’s arms and swung around. “Thank you!”

“Okay okay, careful of my children!” Tony yelped trying to make sure his feet didn’t bang into any of his cars. 

Steve laughed, a wild look in his eyes. It was something Tony only saw when he was training with a new move or really excited over something. That dopey smile was also back. “Can we take it now? Or is it too cold?”

“Well yeah, duh, that’s why I showed it to you. Also why I wore this giant jacket-”

“Awesome! Let’s go! Come on!” Steve shoved him playfully as he grabbed one of the helmets that was sitting on the leather seat. 

With an eye roll and an amused smile, Tony grabbed the other helmet and secured it while Steve mounted the vehicle and started it up. It roared to life and Tony could have sworn he heard Steve giggle. A wave of jealousy and regret pooled in Tony’s gut as Steve’s eyes roamed the bike’s controls like it was the love of his life. Tony stepped forward, putting one foot on the foot rest and swung his leg around mindful of his boot. He pulled himself flush against Steve’s back, letting his hands slowly travel around Steve’s waist. That seemed to finally get the man’s attention as his head snapped up and he looked down at the hands. 

“You ready, Steve?” Tony asked innocently, loving the way Steve’s face reddened as he cleared his throat. 

The ride was a rush for Tony, not used to someone else in control of a ride this exhilarating. It almost felt like the Iron Man suit as they weaved in and out of traffic. Despite it being the middle of December and rather freezing, the ride was amazing. Tony basked in the purple light of sunset as he pressed himself closer to Steve, watching each and every building go by. There were a few people in their cars that gave them strange looks for being on a motorcycle in December, but Tony didn’t care. It had been a rather light winter so far, so there was no snow on the ground. Steve didn’t seem to care either as he was still smiling madly. 

They drove around a few blocks and up and down a few streets before pulling up to...an arcade? Tony felt his eyebrows shoot up on their own as he looked to Steve for a reaction. The man only parked the bike and started taking off his helmet. They both disembarked and Tony shot Steve a ‘what the hell?’ look. 

“What?” He asked innocently. “It’s the first part on our date.” 

“Such a nerd,” Tony muttered, walking through the front doors to be practically punched in the face with lights and sounds. 

It being a Thursday night, there was no one really there except a few teenagers and the miserable workers. The entire place smelled like stale pizza and machinery. The carpet was from the 90’s probably judging by the black background and neon lines zigzagging through it that seemed to pop out from the floor. 

Steve tried to say something but Tony didn’t hear due to a mario game suddenly blasting dialogue to their right. 

“What?” Tony shouted, looking at the super soldier. 

“I said,” he replied in a louder tone. “What do you want to do first?”

Tony made an O shape with his mouth, turning back to scan all of the games laid throughout the room. There were a few claw machines, driving games, fortune tellers, and a bunch of miscellaneous games. One of them caught Tony’s eye. It was a walking dead game where players sat in a booth behind a curtain. 

“Zombies!” Tony shouted, pulling on Steve’s arm, dragging him over towards the console. 

They slipped into the tiny area, squishing together in order to fit. Tony laughed when he saw Steve hunching his shoulders and squeezing in as best as he could. 

“Here.” Tony moved off of his half of the bench and sat right between Steve’s legs, letting the man sit comfortably. “I guess this was made for regular people and not super humans. Is this alright?”

Steve only hummed and nodded, face bright red as he avoided Tony’s eyes. Tony’s chest filled with amusement and pride at how he was able to get this reaction from Steve just by sitting like this. They each grabbed a gun and inserted quarters from a bag Steve brought with him. As expected, Steve died several times and was starting to get frustrated. He ended up forgetting about the intimacy of their positions and rested his chin on Tony’s head as he put his all into winning the game. After a few turns, Tony thought it was time to move on before Steve threw the plastic gun through the screen. 

Instead, they moved onto skee ball where Steve used too much force on his first throw and busted a hole through the wall. Tony laughed his ass off and wrote a ridiculously large check for the worker who came over. The brunette was in the lead, earning handfuls upon handfuls of tickets while Steve only had 12 at that time. What the blond did thrive on was basketball. As Steve started catching up to Tony with the tickets, Tony panicked and moved to the coin pusher that was next to it. He used a simple equation and was starting to earn more, but Steve was very close to taking the lead as he made 3 more baskets in a row. 

As Tony started to break out into a nervous sweat, Steve smiled as he sang, “I’m catching up.” 

“I know, shut up,” Tony growled, hating how slow his game was. 

Soon enough, they were out of quarters and Tony had beat Steve by only 9 tickets. 

“I’m actually very impressed, that was really close,” Tony commented as they looked over the prizes. 

Steve ended up getting a stuffed bear for Tony, and Tony got a squeaky rubber gavel for Steve for team meetings and a tiny disco ball keychain. They left soon after and arrived at a tiny hole in the wall hamburger shop. Steve said that Natasha claimed it had the best hamburgers, even better than burger king (which Tony had a hard time believing). As soon as they entered, the shop owners recognized them both and refused to give them the check, giving them their food for free. Tony would admit, he did enjoy his burger quite a lot to Steve’s amusement as he  groaned after the first bite. Tony secretly left a hefty tip behind as they started off towards their next destination. 

He was surprised to see that they were driving back to the tower, slightly saddened to see that their night was over. Apparently Steve was able to tell as he dragged them both to the elevator and reassured him. 

“I have one more surprise,” he said softly as they made their way to the roof. 

The doors opened to reveal a large layout of couch cushions and blankets. The blankets were illuminated by strings of golden lights and formed a small fort, covering several space heaters and a few plastic wrapped dishes. Tony stepped forward, seeing the dishes holding all kinds of chocolate dipped fruit. 

“Damn, Steve,” Tony muttered. “Who knew you were such a romantic.” 

“I told you I wanted to court you,” he said with a small laugh, leading Tony over to the set up. 

“Well, consider me wooed or however you say it.” 

They both got comfortable against each other, watching the starry sky and busy city below as they ate the fruit and chatted. There was a laptop all set up with some cheesy rom com that Steve said Natasha also recommended. They barely watched the movie though, opting to cuddle instead and make out. Once the credits started, Tony looked up to Steve with sharp knowing eyes. They carried an unspoken message that went straight down Steve’s spine. 

Tony watched as his eyes dilated and his breathing started to grow heavier. 

“Was this enough romance for you?” Tony muttered, trailing his lips lightly down Steve’s neck. His beard scratched at the smooth pale skin, making Steve tighten his grip on Tony’s waist. 

“Even if it wasn’t I’m not sure how much longer I’d be able to wait,” Steve answered, groaning at the hickey Tony started to work on. 

“So it was then?” Tony asked, pulling away (much to Steve’s dismay) with a wild smile. 

“Yeah, you’re mine now,” Steve said quickly, pulling Tony’s legs around his waist and standing up with the engineer in his arms. 

Tony barked out a laugh as they made their way to the elevator. They barely made it through the door before Tony was slammed against the wall. Steve was clawing at his shirt as he stumbled into the penthouse. Steve practically sprinted to the bedroom and threw Tony down on the bed as he stripped off his own shirt.

In a flurry, Steve's giant display of muscles were shown to Tony and Tony only. The geniuses brain short circuited as he felt himself drool over the massive pecs and abs. The chuckle from said pecs were what caused Tony to snap out of his daze and latch onto Steve's shoulders. He yanked the soldier down and crashed their lips together. 

** smut  

"You're so damn hot, Steve. F**k," Tony groaned, absolutely loving the friction Steve's thigh was giving him. "So damn hot…" 

Steve panted loudly as his hands slipped into the waistband of Tony's trousers, tugging them further down his tan legs. His shoes and pants were soon torn off his body, leaving him in just an unbuttoned shirt and boxers. Steve leaned over him, blue eyes flowing up every inch of his body. The arc reactor lit up the space between the two of them allowing Tony to watch helplessly as Steve's tongue slipped past his own parted lips, wetting them. 

"You're so beautiful, Tony…" Steve preened, hands drifting up Tony's sides as a trail of shivers followed suit. 

Tony basked in the praise, tilting his head up and smiling in a smug manner at how easily Steve was mesmerized by the sheer sight of him. He used his own hands to guide them up Steve's shoulders and palm the muscle there. He reached further and dragged his nails over the vast expansion of skin. A deep and low groan was the only response Tony got as the body leaning over him dropped slowly so it was only hovering inches above Tony's. 

Using his hips, Tony grinded into Steve drawing a beautiful moan from the blond. Steve dipped his head down further, nosing Tony's neck and trailing up to his ear lobe once again. He bit it a few times as his hands groped Tony's sides before sliding back down his chest. As soon as his soft lips brushed against the skin around the reactor, Tony howled. 

His nails dug into Steve's back as the kissing turned into biting and the groping turned more intense. With hands gripping Tony's hips, in one fluid movement, Steve pushed Tony up the bed so he was closer to the headboard. The sight of Steve crawling up the bed towards him alone made Tony moan and Steve chuckle darkly. They played like that for a while, mapping out each other's bodies and discovering what areas drew out certain sounds. 

It wasn't long before Tony nudged Steve's face from where it was buried in his hip up to his eye level. Staring into dark eyes, irises barely visible, Tony purred. 

"Steve, I need you to f**k me-" 

Before he could even finish, Steve's mouth was on his own in a desperate race to claim the genius. Tony reluctantly pulled away, feeling the heat in his stomach become too much to be ignored. 

"Steve, please, now," Tony's tone turned sharp as he growled, pulling at the loose hairs that dangled across Steve's nape. "Want all of you, inside." 

"So demanding," Steve chuckled, nosing his neck again. 

"Steve. Now. Damnnit," Tony growled again, feeling his dick stir even more. "Lube's in the drawer. To my right." 

With only another chuckle, Steve leaned over and started digging through the nightstand. 

"Never done this before," Steve said quietly. Tony glanced up through his half lidded eyes and watched the soldier's sweat covered face turn red as he fiddled with the cap. 

"Then we go slow," Tony breathed, clawing at the sheets. The tension was building and it needed to be released. "Start with a finger. Loosen me up." 

As Steve coated his index finger, Tony tugged his boxers off and the remains of his shirt. At some point, Steve had gotten undressed and was only left in his boxers as well. Tony had probably done it himself without even realizing. As he took off his own, he tugged down Steve's boxers with it. With a visible gulp, Tony stared at what Steve had and felt his mouth water. He wasn't sure if it was the serum or what, but damn was it huge. Steve seemed to think his look was judging in a negative way as he squirmed under Tony's gaze. 

"Steve...you better get that inside me before I explode. Damn you and your hotness." Tony fell back on the bed, dragging Steve back over him.