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The shaking mattress and the sound of ragged breathing roused Nico from his sleep. He turned to see Will Solace beside him, thrashing wildly left and right. Sweat streamed from Will’s forehead, dripping down to eyes that were squeezed tightly closed. His hands clutched the sheets. Blinking the fog of sleep away, Nico reached out and placed his hand soothingly against Will’s bare shoulder. Will immediately jolted upright, his eyes snapping open, and swung his fists at an unseen enemy.
Still groggy, Nico got caught by a blow. Everything snapped into focus. Nico had had more than enough nightmares of his own to know how to handle his boyfriend. He grabbed Will’s wrists and pressed him down into the mattress. “Hey! Will! You’re ok, you’re with me. You’re ok!” He held the other boy and waited for him to come back.
Slowly the fight left Will’s body as he gathered his bearings. He was alone with Nico in the Hades cabin. The skeleton clock on the wall read 3:12AM, and the night felt very empty.
“Nico?” Will whispered. In the dark, Nico nodded, still holding Will and pressing circles into his back. Will sat up and took Nico’s face in his hands, concerned, tracing the bruise blossoming on Nico’s pale cheek with his thumb. “I hurt you.” He sighed.
“It’s not exactly the worst battle wound I’ve ever had,” Nico laughed, brushing it away. “But are you alright?”
“Stay right there, doctor’s orders,” Will commanded, mostly out of habit, sliding out of bed and pushing the sheets away.
Nico rolled his eyes as Will slipped into his boxers. “You weren’t the one giving orders last night,” He grumbled jokingly, but concern crept back into his voice. “Are you ok?”
Instead of answering, Will rummaged through the freezer. Nico waited patiently. Will rummaged some more, and Nico’s patience slipped away in favor of concern.
“Will... I know what a nightmare looks like. What happened? You can tell me” Nico pressed. Will did not respond for a few long moments. He found the ice he was looking for and started making an ice pack.
Suddenly, Will broke the silence. “Does it ever seem weird to you that we're both kind of in the death business?”
“…Huh?” Nico studied the tanned lines of Will’s back as he sealed the Ziploc bag. He wasn’t quite sure he had heard right. For as long as he had known, Will Solace had been the sun that shone through the darkest clouds. Will was infuriatingly positive in the face of despair. This suddenly somber tone was uncharacteristic, and Nico’s brain struggled to adjust. “What do you mean?”
Will shook his head, blond curls messing around his face. He perched back on the edge of the bed and momentarily traced the tender part of Nico’s face with his fingers, as if to soothe it, before pressing the ice pack to it. “Sometimes I feel like whatever I do, I can’t stop people from leaving my side and going to you.”
Blue eyes held black for a second, before Will flicked his gaze to the side. He knew his cryptic words were little explanation, so he regrouped his thoughts and tried again. “I- I watched a lot of people die during the war- Wars. Fuck. Most of them were just kids, Neeks.” He took a breath. “And as the child of the god of healing… I, I felt responsible for making sure I could save as many people as I could get to. I couldn’t save them all. And so many were gone before I could get to them.” He looked back at Nico to gauge his reaction, and found his face open, inviting him to unburden his thoughts completely, so he pushed on.
“I lost Lee in the Labyrinth. I lost Michael on the bridge. They were the closest family I’ve ever had, Nico. And I couldn’t save them. I let them down.” The words tumbled out in a rush, and his blue eyes took on a frantic spark. “How do I protect the family I have left? The family they left me in charge of? Sometimes I’m not sure what to do, like I’m still letting them down, knowing I can’t protect them. I’m still failing them, Nico, all the time. And you? You live surrounded by death. It’s the one thing I want to protect you from, and I can’t do that either. We’re both in the death business, and they way we live, it’s inevitable.” Will paused, catching his breath. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking about your brothers.” Nico covered Will’s hand with his own and brought It down from his face so he could grasp it properly. “About what they said to me.”
Will frowned. “To you? You were barely at the camp, and they died well before all… this,” He gestured between them with his free hand. Nico grasped that one too, smiling faintly.
“What was it you phrased so astutely? That we’re in the… ‘death business’?” He shook his head and joked “And I thought I was supposed to be the emo one. I don’t just get to know people when they’re alive, you know. I spent a lot of my free time in the Underworld… and got to know some of the former campers in Elysium… like your brothers.”
Will blinked rapidly. Of course. That should have been obvious. Why had that never crossed his mind before? “What did they say?” He asked, leaning forward anxiously.
Nico hesitated. “Lee told me about how you treated him during the battle… how you held him, how you talked-“
“I couldn’t save him” Will cut in as the memory came washing back. “I was too late.”
Nico gave Will’s hands a squeeze of reassurance. “Hey, no one could have saved him. It was just his time. But what he told me, he wanted me to tell you, when you really needed to hear it. He said, ‘the thing about Will is that he knows how to take away all of your fear, all of your pain. People feel it. He gives everyone hope.’ You have no idea how much they believe in you, Will. You think they blame you? They love you so much. Michael once told me, that when he knew he had to go, he could do it in peace knowing you were there on the other side.”
Tears blurred Will’s vision as he buried his head in Nico’s shoulder. Guilt and grief bubbled up within him. “I’m sorry, Neeks,” He mumbled. “I’m trying very hard to be the Sun, but sometimes it’s hard not to drown under everything.”
Nico tangled his fingers through his boyfriend’s blond strands gently, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Don’t apologize, tesoro. I feel like you spend so much time spreading your warmth to others. You can let me in. You can let me take care of you. I can be the Sun when you can’t.”
“You’re too pale for that,” Will grumbled into Nico’s chest. Nico swatted him gently but held him closer.
After a few moments, Will looked up. “Are you sure?” He asked softly, blue eyes shining up so earnestly that Nico felt his heart squeeze in his chest. “Is it really okay to not be so positive sometimes? Share the really dark shit? Be a little… ‘emo’?” He chuckled.
Nico tucked his boyfriend back against him. “Of course,” He said, smiling. “It's okay to not be okay... and honestly, have you seen me? I know the really dark shit. And I'm metal as fuck! I can handle it.”
At some point, they sank back into the bed, blond locks against a pale shoulder, ghostly fingers rubbing circles into tanned skin. Before they drifted off completely, Nico spoke up.
“Oh and Will? Just for the record, we’re in the life business. Death is just a part of it.”