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It’s only when Finn cuts his palm with the ritual knife does Kylo suddenly feel the gravity of the situation.
His heart drops to the pit of his stomach and he recoils as Finn’s thick, dark blood drips down onto the binding of the old book, sealing it until he wills it to be opened. Finn is silent, deep brown eyes trained on Kylo’s wide black ones. Kylo thinks he looks livid, but he’s never been able to get a read on Finn.
No one ever has.
He was an anomaly in The Order. Anomalies were usually snuffed out or went missing and never spoken of again, but Finn’s raw power saved him from death. He was going to be something great in Snoke’s ‘big plan’, and Kylo, especially, wanted to make sure he was involved when the Witches Order finally took over the magick world. He wanted Finn to rule with him at his side. Two witches with a bond as powerful as theirs, with a love as strong as theirs would solidify The Order’s place as the only governing body in the world.
But Finn never accepted his offers of power and prestige and Kylo couldn’t figure out why. It unnerved him that someone as powerful as Finn would give up the chance to use that power to rule with him.
“You left the Witches Order,” Kylo finally says after regaining his composure, “Why?”
Finn doesn’t answer right away, he gestures at a scarf on the table and Kylo picks it up to wrap around his hand. Their gazes don’t move from each other as Kylo works to tie the scarf around the open wound on Finn’s palm. The ritual he performed was a simple one, something Kylo should’ve known how to do and probably did. Finn knew he did. Anything to get him back in The Order’s territory Kylo would do and Finn would always come back with the hope that he could convince Kylo to leave before it was too late.
He knew deep down that Kylo would never leave The Order. His fear of Snoke’s wrath and inability to believe in his own magick without Snoke as a buffer was what kept him rooted in this place. Redemption was still in his future. Finn had been sure to map out every possible outcome via a crystal ball before he found himself back on the The Order’s ashen land.
“The Witches Order kidnapped me from my coven when I was a child,” Finn moved his hand from Kylo’s, “Why would I stay? What was keeping me there?”
Me. Kylo wants to say, but he doesn’t.
“You ran to that… sham of a coven—“
“Your mother’s coven is a safe haven for witches who have no home. I have no home.”
“You had one and you threw it away!”
“You call the Witches Order a home? They’re corrupt, their ways are archaic, barbaric ! Kidnapping children from ‘wayward’ covens, decimating those covens and with them their cultures, their magick!” Finn shouts, “You’re here because you think The Order can give you power, that Snoke will give you a place in the High Council because you come from the Skywalker bloodline. He’ll use you up and spit you out before you realize it’s too late, just like your grandfather.”
“How dare you speak ill of Anakin Skywalker, our line is one of strength, of—”
“Strength that you couldn’t even dream of having or else you would’ve left this place long ago,”
Finn stands and grabs his book. “You don’t need me anymore. The ritual is done.” With one glance back, “It’s best if you don’t contact me after this.”
“You were one of the best spellcasters in The Order. You could have a seat on the Council next to me,”
There’s a faint smile pulling at Finn’s lips, its bitter, sad, and amused all at once. Kylo’s always wondered how Finn was able to convey so many emotions at once. How he was able to feel so much and still keep himself centered. He never faltered in his magick because he kept such a calm head during battle. That wasn’t to say that Kylo has never seen Finn lose it before. He had, and he was usually the cause of it. Missed shots of lightning or fire that should’ve burned him where he stood had Finn been focused enough. Sometimes he thought that Finn was sparing him, purposely missing him all while showing him what he was capable of should Kylo move into the darkness completely.
Kylo scrambles toward him, nearly falling out of the chair he had been seated in and grasps his arm. “Stay with me. Our power together it’s—”
“My power is my own to choose with what to do. There is no ‘our’, there never was.”
“Every time you choose them over me.”
“And you choose power over me, Love.”
Kylo’s face twists into something ugly, enraged, and he slams his hands on the table. It cracks slightly so he kicks a leg, ensuring the table’s eventual collapse. Finn’s expression doesn’t change, he’s used to this. The begging, the belittling of his decisions, and the temper tantrums that follow. It could go on for hours if he let it and sometimes he did, too exhausted to tell Kylo to get a hold of himself and accept his decisions for what they were.
“If you’re done I’ll be leaving now.”
“Please,” Kylo sounds desperate, hollow, sad , “What can I do to get you to stay?”
“Nothing. You can leave with me or be left behind,” Finn looks him in the eye, “It’s your choice.”
“Traitor!”
Finn’s lip curls over his teeth in a snarl at the word. The very thought that he was the traitor in this was laughable. Betraying a fascist cult of witches was no betrayal at all for Finn. It was an awakening, an escape. After years of brainwashing and dampening of his powers to keep him in line and docile within The Order’s ranks until Snoke needed his power, something in him snapped. It happened when he locked eyes with Kylo during the destruction of an innocent coven in Republic territory. He remembered hearing pleading voices, begging, screaming and thought it was the slaughter happening around him. Instead it was like a memory replaying and keeping him locked in place, unable to move.
Once they returned to their base, he ran.
“You left one of the most exclusive magick schools in the country that dared to take you in because of how unstable you were in your skill, and you left it like it was nothing to join a man who murders his own kind just because they don’t practice as he does. You maimed me during some hamfisted attempt to prove yourself to your joke of a master and ended up being bested by an untrained teenager who didn’t even know she was a witch!”
“I wasn’t aiming for you,”
“No, you were aiming for the innocent.” Finn hisses, “She’s being trained by your uncle, you know, and next time she won’t leave you with some scar that can be healed with magick, she will kill you, Ren. You are the only traitor here and you know it. You betrayed your family and you betrayed me.”
Kylo’s lips quiver and Finn shakes his head, moving closer to him. He uses his free hand to cup Kylo’s jaw and draws him close, lips hovering inches away from each other. “Make your choice now because this is it.” Finn murmurs against Kylo’s lips.
“The two of us together…”
“Will be great in the coven,” Finn watches him, “We’ll defeat Snoke and bring back balance to this world.”
The words land heavy in Finn’s gut, almost as if what he’s saying isn’t right. Their bond was the one Luke prophesied, it had to be.
Kylo closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Finn’s, “The bond I’ve forged with you...would you sever it should we part?”
“Without hesitation.”
“He’ll only come find me if I leave.”
“Let him.”
“He’ll find you too, twist us both into something we don’t recognize, something that will kill everyone and everything we love.”
“Only if we let him.”