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I’ll never go.

Summary:

Remus insecurities get the best of him. Who could honestly want to stay with him? Good thing you’re there to change how he things and soothe his wounds.

Notes:

warnings: slight sexual themes
he/him pronouns used for reader
*set during 6th year marauders era
**and for the sake of the story, the reader is a gryffindor as well

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

As the first pained howl racked through the Shrieking Shack, you instantly turned towards the noise.

"You're... a werewolf," You whispered as you saw your sweet and mischievous Remus go through the pain of his transformations. You always expected something to be up with the male you were proud to call your boyfriend, but this... this was not what you expected.

"RUN!" Remus screamed through the pain, "PLEASE [NAME], RUN! I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU-" Another scream broke him and he collapsed on the ground as the transformations became too much.

Your heart broke as you watched the person you were so ready to tell you loved them in pain like that, you took a step forward in any way to comfort him, but there were suddenly hands all over you.

"You have to go [Name]!" James exclaimed as he and Peter started dragging you from the Shrieking Shack. Sirius was already in his animagus form for when Remus was fully transformed.

"I have to help him!" You cried, all the self control you were known for had vanished, and all that was on your mind was Remus.

"You will be helping him by doing as he said and leave," Peter said firmly.

There were hot tears rolling past your cheeks as you struggled against their hold. But eventually, you sagged in defeat and let the sobs rack through your body. There was no hurt by the fact Remus kept this from you, there was no anger or fear, there was none of that.

All you felt was despair for your love. You could only imagine how he felt, you finding out his secret and seeing him in such a state. He looked so vulnerable as he yelled at you. It hurt so much. You loved him, and to see him go through that pain, to know that every month he had to endure this shook every nerve in your body.

--

You didn't need to look to know the brunet was standing before you. During your final lap around the seventh floor, you felt his familiar presence a few feet behind you.

He was ready to talk, and that is why you headed to the seventh floor.

Just as you pictured, the room was transformed into a version of the Gryffindor dorm rooms, save for the bed being bigger than a single size.

While you took a place up on the bed, Remus stood a few feet from the bed silent.

It had been almost a week after the full moon, and Remus has not talked to you yet. You respected him and knew him enough that when he was ready, he would come to you to talk about what happened. The last thing you ever wished to do was to force him to talk about something he was not ready to relive.

He was the first to speak.

"Why did you go to the shack?" He whispered.

"I received a letter that morning that said it was from you, that you wanted to meet me at the Shrieking Shack after curfew," You started, keeping your voice level even though your face started to burn with embarrassment, "The letter said you wanted to, erm, spend time with me if you can understand what I mean by that."

It warmed you inside to see Remus return your blush.

"But before you say anything else," You added quickly, "May I talk freely?"

"Of course," Remus said as he finally took the step forward to sit next to you on the provided bed.

"You should have known me better Remus," You murmured in a light chastising voice you always used when he did something questionable, "I may be a muggle-born and not quite understand everything that goes on in the wizarding world, but I know you. I love you, I really do. If you told be about this, I would not have been upset or angry, and most importantly, I would never leave you."

You placed a hand on his cheek and smiled at him, a soft gesture that seemed to release some tension in his body, "I've read many books, both wizarding and muggle, about werewolf actually. About their nature and everything that surrounds them, even if some of the muggle folklore makes me giggle. And because I've ready all that I've can, I understand that while you may not have wanted to be gifted this ability to transform, I understand that this is apart of you. And therefore, you and your wolf are one in the same, and I love you no matter what. To be honest," You laughed a little as you thought over what you were going to say next, "You could have killed someone, and my first reaction would be to defend you. You mean so much to me, and while I am not hurt by the fact you kept this from me, I am ready to move on from this and work on how we can fix the little patches in our relationship to help you, to help us."

"[Name]-" His voice cracked, "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you," You smiled, "I was scared that you would leave me if I told you. That was the only thing keeping me back. Deep down I knew that you would say that, that you could never leave me because of this, but my demons- my insecurities got the best of me."

"Hey, hey," softly to cupped his face in your hands, "It's alright, I know. And I'm here for you, to share those burdens you have, to make those insecurities go away," You cooed softly giving him a look you reserved only for him.

You adored him, no matter what. He could tell you he as really one thousands acromantulas disguised as a human, and you could cringe before you opened your arms wide for him. He was your love, your life. You may only be sixteen, but you were certain he was your soulmate.

"I love you [Name]," Remus said just as softly.

"I know," He furrowed his brows at you, "I knew the moment you yelled at me to run when you were turn. The look in your eyes spoke for you."

Slowly you pressed your lips to his, rubbing your thumbs against his cheeks in a soothing manner.

Remus did not hesitate to recuperate the kiss.

Whenever the two of your have kissed, it was always innocent. Though you always wished to spice it up a bit, and maybe see how far you could go to fluster the male, you never could. You could never push him into something he wasn't comfortable doing.

But this kiss, this kiss was different.

Remus took control and moved your hands from his face to wrap around his neck as his went around your middle to pull you against him and successfully into his lap. He kissed you fiercely with a passion you've seldom seen. It took your breath away.

You moaned as he wormed his tongue into your mouth and completely devoured you.

You weren't sure how long the two of you kissed, but it escalated from the hot make-out session into hesitant touches and grouping. He wasn't sure what you were comfortable, but the two of you couldn't stop.

The love you had for one another had reached its peak, and was pouring over onto the other. You needed to reassure him in any and every way that you loved him.

You placed your legs on either side of him and ground your hips down, gasping as you realized Remus was just as affected as you were and hard against you. The shuddered moan you got from Remus set your nerve endings on fire just knowing you were the one to make him like that.

Remus eventually lost his nervousness, because in an instant his hands were gripping your arse to grind his hips up into yours, "You're perfect [Name]," He growled and started kissing along the length of your neck.

A stuttered sigh left your lips at the sensation, "You're perfect," You whispered, "And if you'll let me, I'm never going to leave."

"Then don't leave, and stay with me forever," He whispered back.

A brilliant smile lit your features at his words, and you knew what your future held. It may be a rough and bumpy path, but you knew if you did stay by his side, you both would get through it easily.

"How much longer do we have till curfew?" He rasped as he hastily loosened your tie and started for the buttons of your shirt.

You giggled and started doing the same to his shirt, "Since when have you been worried about curfew?" You teased, nipping at his neck.

He paused once he got the last button, "You're right," He grinned and shucked the fabric from your shoulders and easily maneuvered you onto your back on the bed, "Then this is going to be a long night."

Remus' grin widened as he saw a dangerous fire flicker in your eyes.

It may have been a long night, but it didn't matter to you that the thought of double potions in the morning. You would worry about that when the time comes. Right now, it was about Remus and you. That was it.

--

"Thanks for saving me a seat," You sighed as you sat down between Remus and Peter a few weeks and one full moon later, "Mcgonagall kept me after class to talk to me about my paper."

"Don't worry about it [Name], but we were thinking about not saving a seat to force you to sit in Moony's lap," Sirius grinned as Remus chocked on his pumpkin juice, "Because I'm sure he'd love that idea."

You hid your grin behind your hand as you noticed the flush on the brunet's cheeks, "Sirius, don't say things like that." Remus chastised weakly, knowing he didn't stand a chance against Sirius' words.

"Why not? I'd sit in your lap and more if you only asked me to, Remus," You pressed a fleeting kiss to Remus' cheek before you started digging in to your dinner, leaving the wizard stunned in his seat as the other three marauders around you laughed at his reaction. "In fact," You grinned, placing a hand on Remus' thigh, "I'd be happy to do something much more intimate with you while sitting on your lap, would you like that?" If you thought he was blushing before, he was certainly bright as a cherry now.

And after all you two have done together, he still blushed when anything related to sex was mentioned. It was so sweet and endearing, and one of your favorite things about him.

"I really like him Remus," James started, "He gets us and gets you, and it is simply amazing seeing him fluster you up like this."

"Oh shut up Prongs," Remus finally said as he angrily took a bite of his chicken.

"Don't worry," You smiled, "Nothing they can say could make me leave you, no matter how flustered your or I get, got it?"

Remus couldn't help but return your smile at your sweet words. That used to be his biggest fear, but now he knew that it would never happen.

"I know you wouldn't and thank you for that," Remus whispered and returned your kiss with his own to your cheek.

A little while later as you all were lazing around in the empty common room, a sudden thought came to you, "I really like your little nicknames you have for each other," You said absently as you leafed through your potions textbook, stopping and reading something every once in a while.

"What do you mean?" Sirius spoke up.

"You know, how you call Remus 'Moony', which it adorable by the way, and how James is 'Prongs', and Peter 'Wormtail', and you 'Padfoot'. I like them, that's all." You glanced up at the friends, only to be met with uneasy smiles. You thought it was an innocent statement, "What?"

"Oh nothing, nothing at all, no one has ever told us that before," Sirius said quickly, and started to change the subject, "Why are you reading that anyways? Do you have a test or something in potions or something?"

You shook your head, "No, I just like potions that's all. I'd like to do something in potions when I'm older, so..." You trailed off.

"Now you're sounding like Snivellus," Sirius sneered which you returned with a shrug. That statement didn't bother you, Snape was a master at potions, and thus you would treat his words as a compliment.

"Anyways," Peter said suddenly, obviously not liking where the conversation was going, "Have you and Remus gone all the way?"

Both you and the brunet flushed at the question. Yes, after four months of dating, you have gotten used to the sexual innuendos from Remus's best friends, but they have yet to right out ask if you've ever had sex.

"That's none of your business," Remus said immediately, and you hid yet another smile, but this time it was behind your textbook.

"Exactly, besides I wanted to ask you guys something," You said lowly and gestured for them to lean in just encase someone was still loitering around the common room.

"What did you want to ask?" James stated skeptically.

"I know you all are animagi, expect for Remus of course," They hesitated and looked to Remus who gave them a firm nod, and then they other three nodded as well, "Do-Do you think you could help me become one? I want to help Remus too, you know, more than I can from here. I want to be able to spend the full moon with him."

The four marauders huddled together and started whispering in hushed tones at you question. They were really thinking this over, you thought, more so than they do on most of their decisions.

After a solid five minutes, they broke from their huddle and gave you a hard once-over.

"If you think you're up to it, as Remus said, then sure. But you have to be dedicated to the cause- the cause being protecting Moony here, even if you find out you don't have the ability to change into an animagus," You nodded with a bright smile, "We can start this weekend, alright?"

"Awesome!" You beamed, "Thank you! I really appreciate it, and don't worry, when it comes to Remus his priorates always come first."

"But-" James cut in with a impish grin, "There has to be a little test first, to prove that you are willing to put completely trust and faith in us."

You gave them a nervous gaze, your eyes flicking briefly to Remus, "And what may that be?"

"Just a little prank, that is all, on Severus of course."

"I can't do anything to Severus," You said instantly, "He helps me in Potions, I kind of need to be on his good side if I wish to pass the course with flying colors and want to become a healer or something." You protested.

"Alright," Sirius said and put his hand up as James scowled and started to go off on your defense, "Then tell us about the first time you guys had sex, I have to know all the details. And don't go telling me you guys haven't done the deed, I know you did. I just want to know who tops."

You flushed bright and looked to Remus to see he was no different, "Are you alright with that?"

"Y-Yeah..."

"Remus tops," You started, "We tried switching, seeing as we went more than once that night, but Moony is an alpha werewolf and wouldn't allow Remus to bottom, not that I minded," You muttered and looked away, "Is that all you need?"

"When did it happen?" Peter asked eagerly.

"A few weeks ago."

"Wait," Now it seemed James was no longer mad and ready to participate in the intimate conversation, "Are you telling me, the two of you have been dating for over a year and you just now went all the way?"

You blushed and stuttered a little before you caught your bearings to respond, "Well, when you put it that way, it does sound kind of absurd. But we had good reason behind it! We both wanted to make sure we were both one hundred percent confident that that was what we wanted, alright? I didn't want to push him too far, and he didn't want to do the same to me."

"That's actually kind of sweet," Peter murmured.

You smiled and Remus thanked him, "Ok, now is that all?" The friends exchanged a few glances before nodding.

"So be ready for this weekend. We will explain each of the steps of becoming an animagus, and help you start the potion, sound good?"

"Yeah, so if I do become an animagus, do I get a cool nickname too?" The four burst out in laughter at your very innocent words.

"Sure! You'll get a cool nickname too," Remus said and kissed you.

You returned the kiss before standing, "I think I'm going to head to bed now, so thank you and good night." With one last kiss placed on Remus' cheek, you left up the stairs to your dorm.

Once you were out of sight, Sirius spoke up, "I'm really happy for you and [Name], and the fact he accepts you so openly. It's refreshing compared to the closed mindedness you always hear about."

Remus gazed longingly at where you disappeared from their sight and nodded, "Thank you, really. I don't think I've ever been this happy before."

"We will support your relationship, and you two in general, because we can tell. It's good to see you look normal and not like you haven't slept for weeks." James said matter-of-factly.

Remus really thought about his friends words, "You think it's because of [Name]?"

"Absolutely," Peter started, "You've been different now that you're together, but in a good different."

The four friends continued to talk for an hour or two over various topics before they finally ascended the stairs to go to sleep themselves.

Remus, even though he was change into his pajamas and laid down in bed, he was still up thinking about everything that has happened to him.

You were truly a gift to him. He could never have imagined someone coming into his life and completely and wholly accepting of him. You filled ever hole inside of him, because even though he loved his friends and treasured everything they have done for him, it was nice to have someone there that he could emotionally invest himself in as you did him.

He didn't ever want to let you go, and he doesn't think he ever could.

Notes:

Twitter @ren_writes

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