Work Text:
Ineffable Bigotry
Zira sat next to Crowley in a snug little booth; menu’s sitting on the table top that neither of them had looked at yet. At the moment there was a sketch book sitting in front of them and Zira was running his finger over the cover. Crowley was watching him with a lazy smirk on his face. Zira had yet to open the book. It was a different one from the one he’d gone through without asking, this one had a red cover with silver trimming around the edges.
“Are you sure?” Zira asked looking up at Crowley then back down to the book in front of him. He hadn’t asked, but for an offhanded comment about showing him some of his drawings someday he hadn’t brought it up. He never asked to see what Crowley was working on when he came across him sketching, he wanted it to be Crowley’s idea to share with him and he didn't want it to be forced.
“Angel of course I’m sure,” he reassured him, the hand resting on Zira’s back started playing with the fine hair at the base of his neck. Crowley had started to wonder, when Zira hadn’t asked again, that maybe he’d only been humoring him about his art. Maybe he hadn’t really been all the impressed with it. Not that he needed Zira’s validation, he knew he was good, but the fact that Zira hadn’t seemed interest hurt just a little. “Honestly I wasn’t sure you were interested.”
“Oh Crowley, I always want to see your art, but after the first time I...” He trailed off and looked up at Crowley with a small frown. Ah, Crowley thought letting out a metaphorical breath he’d been holding. Of course his angel would feel that way, he should have guessed. “Well it didn't feel right to ask, after not asking the first time.” Crowley’s smile widened at that and he nudged the book closer to Zira with his free hand. It had been almost two months now, since that night and they had been together during any free time they had, which outside of school was quite a lot actually.
“Well now I’m offering,” he said, trying to sound casual and Zira nodded and picked up the book and opened it to the first page. It was a grey scale sketch for the most part; the only color was in Zira’s eyes. It was Zira the first time he met him, at least Zira was pretty sure it was, his curly hair was wet from the rain water, droplets running down his face. There was a slightly worried look on his face, and Zira remembered how worried he was that his dad would be mad at him. It was titled ‘I gave it away.’
“I remember I was so worried my dad would be mad, but you were right.” Zira said looking up at Crowley with a smile. “He’d been so proud he gave me the money for a new jacket without me even asking.” And knowing Mr. Fell the way he did now that didn't surprise Crowley at all. He was the kind of man who would give you the shirt off his back. He volunteered at a number of shelters as a cook. Zira and Crowley had gone with him a few times now, and Crowley loved being able to give back.
“Course he did angel,” Crowley said nodding his head. “I think I fell in love with you, at least a bit, in that moment.” Zira leaned his head on Crowley’s shoulder and closed his eyes for just a second. He knew now why Crowley’s eyes had gone soft and he’d been so touched when Zira told him he’d given away his jacket to a homeless girl.
Crowley had told him about the fact that his dad left them hours after he’d been born the first day they met. But it had taken him weeks to add that when he left he took everything, kicking his mum to the street with Crowley and nothing but the clothing on her back. Her parents had passed away when she was in her late teens’ and she had nowhere to go, no other family and no real friends, curtesy of his biological father. Apparently he’d been an arsehole before Crowley was born too. He’d gone on to explain that it had been a kind older couple that had found them on the street and taken them in and helped her get on her feet. They had helped get her a job, find an apartment, and had watched Crowley while she worked. Zira had nearly swooned when Crowley told him that it had been about 6 months after they took them in that their grown son had come for a visit from where he was working in Paris. That he’d fallen in love with his mum within days of meeting her. That he’d treated Crowley like his son from the moment he met him. It had taken Jason two and a half years to earn Maggie’s trust and convince her to marry him. But she’d never been happier and it was all due to the kindness of two strangers.
He took a deep breath and drew away from Crowley and reached for the book so he could turn the page. The next picture was Zira’s face, full of wonder and awe as he looked up just a little, it was titled ‘Understanding.’ Zira stared at it for a moment then looked up at Crowley.
“That was right after I showed you my eyes for the first time,” Crowley told him as he looked down at the picture. “No one, apart from my family, had ever looked at my eyes like that the first time they saw them.” He’d expected pity, or revulsion, when he’d shown Zira that first time. If he’d known Zira a little better then he would have known he had no reason to think that, but at the time they had been such new friends, he’d worried for the whole time.
“Oh Crowley,” Zira whispered his voice slightly choked up as he leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. He pulled back just enough that he could bury his nose in Crowley’s neck and Crowley ran his thumb over his neck while he waited. He needed a moment to pull himself together. He always felt so terrible for the things Crowley went through because of his eyes. He made sure to tell him as often as he could, just how much he loved his eyes. When he was sure he wasn’t going to cry all over Crowley he leaned back with a wobbly smile on his face before he turned back to the book.
He continued to look through it, marveling at all the pictures of him. It was like a story board of their relationship through Crowley’s eyes. There was picture after picture of Zira through the last 10 or so weeks. Some he could tell when they were from; either the title or simply the picture itself was all the explanation he needed. Some he didn't recognize the time frame at all. And he’d stop and look up at Crowley for an explanation. One in particular had him staring for a long moment, though he knew just when it was from. He looked up from the picture to look at Crowley. His face was bright red and he swallowed hard when Zira cocked an eyebrow at him. Crowley searched his eyes for a long moment, looking for any irritation or anger, but he just looked....amused.
“I...forgot that was in there.” He mumbled softly and Zira nodded his head with a smirk and turned back to the picture. It was interesting to see himself how Crowley saw him. Crowley never shied away from drawing Zira just as he was, even the parts that Zira wasn’t quite happy with himself. The picture itself was a full body sketch of Zira, standing in Crowley’s room, his hair wet and totally shirtless. It was, he knew, from the morning after that first night he’d spent at Crowley’s house. His hands were clasped loosely in front of him; he looked painfully shy as he stared slightly to the right. There was another picture on the same page, in the top corner, this one was just his face, which was lit in a sly smile his eyes looked... coy? Was that the right word? Zira knew what had changed that made him smile like that. He remembered standing in front of Crowley that morning; learning to be comfortable, well, more comfortable, with himself. It was tilted ‘Yes,’ and Zira chuckled as he remembered his sly ‘See anything you like?’
“I like it,” Zira finally said and Crowley let out a whoosh of air and Zira wondered if he’d been holding his breath. “The way you see me, the way you draw me, it takes my breath away.” Zira finally told him and Crowley drew him in closer.
“You take my breath away,” he said and Zira chuckled and looked up at him with a bright smile and Crowley snickered. “Yeah, that sounded cheesy even as I was saying it, but you do.” He told him dropping a kiss on the top of his head. “You wanna order some food then we can look at that more?”
“Yes that sounds delightful.” Zira said nodding his head as he pulled away from Crowley. They were at a small little pub and grill that Zira had never been to before, he loved trying new places. It was the end of January, which meant it was cold and wet outside. Warm homemade pub food was just the thing to warm them up.
They both looked over their menus for a moment then Zira set his down after he decided what he wanted and looked around the room. From where they were sitting he could see a good portion of the restaurant so it was hard to miss the man sitting a few tables away glaring in their direction every once in a while. He looked to be in his early 20’s or so and he was holding the hand of the woman sitting across from him.
“Crowley did you see that man-
“Yes,” Crowley sighed cutting him off gently as he sat his menu down too. “He’s been glaring this way on and off since we sat down.”
“Oh,” Zira said softly and Crowley hated that sad note in his voice. “Do you think he’s glaring because we’re here...together?”
“Probably,” Crowley muttered darkly. They’d not encountered anything like this yet. The kids at school hadn’t said anything to either of them, probably because word had gotten around what happened to Gabe and no one had wanted to end up in trouble. They had a pretty strict ‘No Bullying’ policy at school and Crowley had been slightly surprised when he found out how well it was enforced. Crowley had noticed some of them shooting nasty looks their way, but Zira hadn’t seemed to notice any of it thankfully. He started to pull his hand away from Zira but Zira squeezed his hand and didn't let him. “I’m-
“Don’t,” Zira said his voice held a slight edge to it and he looked away from the glaring man. “Don’t be sorry because someone else is a bigot.” Zira told him reaching up with his free hand to cup Crowley’s cheek. “How do you feel about blatant public displays of affection?” He asked with a small smirk and a raised eyebrow and Crowley’s eyes went wide under his glasses.
“Pretty good actually,” Crowley told him after a moment and Zira smiled brightly before he leaned closer to Crowley and kissed him. It wasn’t a heated kiss, it was soft and sweet and Crowley leaned into it a bit and Zira’s thumb swept up and down his jaw. Zira pulled away slowly and kissed the corner of his mouth once more then smiled at him.
“I’m not ashamed of us, not ever,” he told Crowley softly and Crowley bit his lip and nodded softly. Their waitress stepped over a few moments later with a large smile on her face. She had that ‘aw!’ look in her eyes when she looked at them. She looked to be in her early 40’s or so, and seemed to be one of those perpetually happy people.
“Evening gents,” she said her voice cheery and a bright smile on her face. “What can I get for you two tonight?”
“I’d like the shepherd’s pie,” Zira said handing her the menu with a smile.
“Oh that’s my favorite,” she said nodding her head as she wrote it down. “And you sweetie?” She asked smiling at Crowley. He handed her his menu too with a small smile.
“I’ll have the fish and chips, and if you could bring some malt vinegar with that I’d appreciate it.”
“Can do,” she said writing it down. “Do you need any drinks?”
“Oh yes, I’ll have a root beer,” Zira said with a smile and Crowley nodded his head.
“Me too,” he told her and she added that with a smile before she stuck the pen behind her ear.
“Right, be right out with those drinks,” she told them with another bright smile before she turned and walked away. Crowley put his hand back on Zira’s neck and reopened the sketch book with a smile. He watched as Zira turned the page and continued to look them over. Every once in a while Crowley would look up to find the man across the way either glaring their way or now he also appeared to be arguing heatedly with the women he was with. Zira turned to ask Crowley a question just as the man stood and started towards their table and Crowley’s whole body tensed at the movement. Crowley had been here before and knew there was nothing this way but more tables behind them, so unless he’d seen someone he knew he was going to be trouble.
“Crowley?” Zira asked in concern when his body tensed up. Crowley watched as they man approached and began to pass the table, but when he was half way passed their table he side stepped nothing and hip checked their table, causing the two cups of water on it to tip over, spilling everywhere. Zira snatched the sketch book off the table just in time as water poured everywhere and flowed over the edge of the table, splashing them both.
“Watch where the hell you're going!” Crowley snapped at the man as he smirked at the mess that he’d made of their table. He leaned just a bit over their table and glared at Crowley.
“Make me, queer,” he sneered and Crowley jumped to his feet, knocking into the table again and Zira grabbed his arm. Not only was the man at least a stone heavier than Crowley, he also didn't want Crowley’s anger getting the better of him.
“Crowley dear,” he said softly not looking up at the man, completely ignoring him. He squeezed Crowley’s arm softly then rubbed his thumb up and down a little as he spoke again. Crowley looked away from the man and down at Zira. His face held nothing but calm as he looked at him. “It’s not worth it.” He told him and Crowley picked up his napkin and brushed off his pants, which were soaked.
“You're right angel, it’s not worth it,” He agreed as he worked on steadying his breath.
“Well,” the man said with a smirk. “I guess we know who wears the pants in your relationship, don’t we?” He snickered and then Zira turned to look at him, his face read ‘pleasant young man’ but his eyes held none of their normal warmth and the slight edge to them was sharp.
“I think perhaps you should worry about your own love life, your date seems to have decided she wasn’t hungry,” he said looking back over to the other man’s table which now sat empty. Zira had watched her gather up her jacket and purse and leave in a hurry just a moment ago.
“This is your fault,” he sneered pointing at Crowley as he took a step as though to go around the table.
“My fault you’re an arsehole?” Crowley asked with a snicker as their waitress ran over with a towel and the man stopped moving.
“Is everything okay here?” She asked as she handed Zira a towel. Honestly he hadn’t even realized his lap was wet, a good portion of the water had landed on his serviette. He dried the water on the seat then handed it off to Crowley, who had gotten most of the water.
“Just an accident,” Zira said smiling brightly at her, though the smile didn't reach his eyes. Her eyes shifted to the side and he could tell she was looking at the man standing next to her, she did not believe Zira, he could tell.
“I’ll get you another towel for the table then, just a moment,” She said eyeing the man again as she passed by him. He sneered at the two of them before he turned and walked back over to his table and called over his waiter.
“Well, wasn’t that...” Zira trailed off when he looked up at Crowley. He looked like he was only just controlling his breathing as he stood there, still glaring at the man across the way. “Crowley?” He said softly touching his arm. Crowley finally looked down at Zira. He threw the towel down on the table over the water and reached up and rubbed his own face with both hands, pushing his glasses up a bit as he did.
“Geez angel,” he seemed to deflate as he slid back into the booth next to Zira. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine Crowley, a little wet, but fine,” Zira said reaching out to take his hand. He hadn’t realized Crowley was shaking till he slid his hand into Crowley’s and it stopped. “Are you okay?”
“Shit,” Crowley spat before taking a deep breath. “I’m fine, angry that people like that think they have a right to voice their opinions on our lives, but I’m okay.”
“Has that...has anything like that happened to you before?” Zira asked as Crowley’s breathing started to even out.
“Once or twice,” Crowley said with a sigh, or a dozen, but Zira really didn't need to know that. He was, used to it wasn’t right, he’d grown a thick skin about it. But he hated that being with him meant Zira had to deal with these arseholes. He looked up and met Zira’s eyes and opened his mouth to tell him as much and Zira put a finger over his lips silencing him. He picked the sketch book up off the dry spot he’d set it and opened it to the page he’d been looking at.
“Tell me about this one?” He asked looking down at the book, he recognized when the picture was from right away, but Crowley didn't need to know that, drawing Crowley’s eyes to the picture as well. He was telling Crowley, subtly, that they weren’t going to let this little snag ruin their night. He was trying to get Crowley’s mind back onto pleasant things, so Crowley looked at the picture and then told him about it.
~*~Two~*~
Crowley and Zira were sitting in the Bentley outside Zira’s house after dinner. It wasn’t terribly late but it was a school night and Mr. Fell had rules about school nights. Zira hadn’t opened the door, hadn’t leaned over for a good night kiss; hadn’t, in fact, moved since they’d pulled up to the house. Up till the moment they turned out his street they had been talking about the history test Crowley had been helping Zira study for, though he didn't need quite as much help as he had, he still didn't love it like Crowley did, but he was getting better. But now he was just sitting there, staring out the windshield with his hands rubbing up and down his legs in a nervous fidget.
“Angel, you okay?” Crowley finally asked breaking the silence. Zira’s hands stopped moving and he shifted in his seat towards Crowley. It was dark outside so he raised his hand towards Crowley’s face, though he paused with his hand on Crowley’s glasses and waited. Crowley nodded just a little and Zira pulled the glasses off before he folded them and set them on the dash.
“Crowley what happened tonight-
“I know angel, I’m sorry I- He was cut off by the finger over his lips. He pursed his lips and nodded his head so Zira could continue.
“What happed tonight, that’ll happen to us, probably more than we’d like. People like to pretend the world is tolerant, that everyone is more accepting these days, and some are. I know there are a lot of people out there who would have our backs in a heartbeat. But there are still a lot of people like that guy tonight.” He took a deep breath and licked his lips as if they’d gone dry. “I just need you to know, I don’t care.” He told Crowley softly as he took his hand. “I don’t care what they throw at us. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
“Angel I...” Crowley trailed off as he took a deep breath himself. “I’d change it, if I could, if I had the power.”
“We can, we will change it, little by little, by being who we are” Zira said nodding his head. “But even if something like that happened to us every day I’d still be with you. I’d still wanna go out with you, I’d still love you. I just need you to know that nothing is going to chase me away.”
“I love you,” Crowley said using their clasped hands to pull Zira into a hug. How he’d known that was weighing on Crowley’s mind was beyond him. He’d been letting foolish nonsense run around in his head since that guy walked away and Zira had read him like one of his books.
“And I love you dear boy,” he said squeezing him hard around the shoulders. “I’ve been putting up with Gabe for years right? What’s one more wanker?” Crowley chuckled and nodded his head as he leaned into Zira’s neck and kissed him just below the ear. Zira pulled away a little with a smile on his face before he leaned over and kissed him lightly.
“You better get going, almost curfew,” Crowley said when Zira pulled away with a chuckle of his own.
“Are we still on for Saturday?” Zira asked and Crowley took a deep breath and felt himself let go of the worry he’d been gripping all night.
“Museum with the boyfriend, can’t wait,” Crowley said with a note of excitement and Zira nodded.
“You know I’ve never been to the Natural History museum,” Zira said and Crowley nodded his head.
“’S why we’re going Zira, can’t believe you’ve never been.” Crowley said feigning outrage as Zira reached back and grabbed his bag.
“It’s a travesty of the highest order,” Zira added playfully as he kissed Crowley quickly before he slid across the seat and opened the door. “Drive home safe.”
“Will do angel,” Crowley said still smiling at him. “Good night.”
“Good night Crowley,” Zira said before he shut the door and stepped back from the car. Crowley watched as he headed into the house, he always did before he drove away. He knew Zira was right, that there would always be people that the jerk tonight. But they’d be fine, they’d face it together.