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“When I first moved out of home, you know, into my own apartment, I was really lonely.”
“Not surprised. From what I can tell, your brothers are… quite some characters.”
She laughed, the mattress creaking quietly. “You could say that. But yeah, it was so quiet and empty. So I bought some of those glow in the dark stickers, the stars and moons, all that kind of stuff. And I stuck them on the ceiling, so that when I was lying in my room in the middle of the night wallowing in my loneliness, I could still see some light in my dark place.”
“That’s deep.”
“Shut up!” she said, laughing again, as she swatted his shoulder with her hand. Lisbon and Jane were laying on her bare mattress, one of the only things inside the bedroom. Today was her first day moving all her belongings into her new house here in Texas, and so, naturally, Jane had decided to help her. While she wasn’t comfortable with him being anywhere near her personal belongings, it was the first time since they’d been “reunited” that they had been alone together. Lisbon had missed the banter. And Jane. Just… him.
Jane had nearly put out his back trying to carry the bed into the room, so he’d decided they needed a break, which involved him sprawling on the mattress. Lisbon had initially rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t resist the chance to be close to him, no matter how much she shook her head at Jane.
“You should buy some new ones, stick them up.”
She smirked. “So I can wallow in my loneliness again?”
Jane knew she meant it as a joke, but it struck a chord in him. He didn’t want her to be lonely here. That wasn’t the reason he’d worked so hard to be with her again.
“Who said you had to be lonely?”
Lisbon froze. “What does that mean?”
He paused. “Nothing, crappy joke.”
“No, no. That wasn’t a joke, Jane.” Lisbon turned on her side to face him, supporting herself with one elbow. “What did that mean?”
“Lisbon…”
“Jane. Don’t backtrack on me.” She sighed and flopped back onto her back again. “We’re not doing this anymore, Jane. Things are meant to be different.”
Ouch. That one kinda hurt. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” Jane sat up, the mattress sinking down a bit. He turned his body so he was looking at her. “I’m done lying to you. At this stage, it’s all or nothing. I wasted away two years of my life trying to hide from the truth.”
Now Lisbon sat up. She looked him in the eye, confused. “What are you talking about.”
“I should never have left without telling you. I should never have left you.”
“Jane, you don’t owe me anything. It’s your own life, and it was your own decision. I didn’t need to be part of it.” She had to look away from him. She didn’t like where this was going, but, at the same time, she didn’t want him to stop.
However, he needed to look at her. He needed Lisbon to see what he was saying. Jane reached out and touched her jawline. “It was my decision, but it was the wrong decision. I was lonely. Perhaps I needed the loneliness to see what I was missing out on. What I had taken for granted. Your light in a dark place were glow in the dark stickers. My light in a dark place is you.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. She found herself unable to tear her eyes away from Jane’s, despite the fact she desperately wished she could.
“Ever since I’ve met you, I’ve treated you like crap just so I could find happiness. Why do you think I’ve dragged you here?” He gestured around the room with his free hand. “I don’t want you to hate it here, because I need you here. You’re my best friend.”
“Stop. Stop, Jane, stop.” Lisbon’s voice shook as she spoke. “I don’t… I don’t know if I can have this conversation yet.”
He looked at her deeply. There was still so much he had to tell her.
“Okay,” he ended up saying, taking his hand away from her face and settling on the bed again.
She followed suit, bringing her forearm up to rest on her head. They both lay in silence for a few minutes, thinking about what had just happened.
“I love you, Teresa.” Whoops.
Lisbon pressed her arm deeper into her skin. “You love me.”
“I love you,” he repeated, as if in confirmation.
Silence.
Silence.
Then… more silence.
“I kind of need you to say something, Lisbon.”
“Shut up, Jane. I’m thinking.” Her eyes were closed, and the fingers of one hand were scratching into the mattress.
Again, silence.
More silence.
Even more silence.
“Lisbon, I-“
She sat up so quickly that Jane jumped. “Shut. Up. Before I regret everything I’m about to do.”
He flicked his eyes over to look at her, finding her eyes now open and shiny and wide. If he didn’t know better, he could have sworn she was about to…
Lisbon moved one knee across the bed to rest against the side of his thigh. She took a moment to well and truly appreciate his face, how much she’d missed it, how comforting it was, before she leaned forward, put a hand against his cheek, and kissed him.
Immediately, Jane wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her into him. The other hand slid to her neck, just under her jaw, fingers weaving into the hair behind her ear.
It was the type of kiss that was so sweet you felt like you could die from happiness, a feeling you never wanted to end. It was like a glimpse of heaven, because, really, Teresa Lisbon was heaven. Jane could feel her hands trembling, but her lips were sure and steady.
They broke the kiss and looked at each other. Lisbon looked like she might cry, out of relief, out of pure amazed emotion, whilst Jane’s features were soft and loving. He brushed his hand over her cheek, bringing it to rest under her chin, and felt compelled to kiss her again.
So he did.
As he kissed her, he sat up, pushing down hard on the mattress to move himself. Lisbon automatically wrapped her legs around his waist.
He separated her mouth from his, pulling her chin back; he wanted to see her face again, see her expression. He was overjoyed to see the smile in her eyes, radiating across her entire face.
“Jane,” she whispered, breathing heavy. She kissed him again while she could.
“I’m sorry for waiting so long to do this. I’m so sorry, Teresa.” He moved his hand up and down her back affectionately.
“Right now, I don’t really care.” Lisbon couldn’t stop kissing him, the feelings still so foreign. But there was a little thought that entered her head. “Patrick… can you say it again?”
“Say what again?” he asked, brushing hair behind her ear with his free hand, genuinely not sure what she meant. Their faces were still so close together.
Lisbon looked at him. She trusted him with her life, and she had never felt this way about someone before. Somehow, this made it harder for her to admit - she was terrified of being disappointed again, of being left behind. She wouldn’t be able to handle it if someone else she loved rejected her, tossed her away like trash.
But she trusted him.
She whispered it knowing exactly how it would come out. “I love you.”
His face slowly spread into a smile across a few seconds. “I love you too.”