Work Text:
Jaune, Ruby and Yang walked up to the sisters' house in Patch.
Yang: *opens the door*
Yang: DAD! WE'RE HOME!
Yang: Must be still at Signal.
Jaune: *nervous laughter*
Yang: *pulls out her scroll*
Yang (texting): Dad, we're home.
Jaune: So... just so you know... I'm REALLY nervous right now...
Ruby: It's not like dad's going to hurt you, or anything.
Yang: Well, too bad...
Jaune: *gulps*
Ruby: *wraps her arms around Jaune's left arm*
Ruby: Don't you worry. Just leave everything to us.
Yang: Dad will be putty in our hands... though he might still get a few blows in... so... don't drop your guard...
Jaune: Very... reassuring...
Yang: I thought you were willing to fight the world for us.
Jaune: Yeah, the world, not your father.
Yang: *snickers*
Ruby: I'm sure dad will be reasonable... I mean, come on, it's dad... We just need to make Jaune feel at home.
Yang: Home is where the blowjob is. Now might now might not be the best time.
Jaune: *jaw slack with shock*
Yang: Easy, Ladykiller. I know we're not there yet... truth... I'm scared of getting there too quickly...
Yang: *breathes deep*
Yang: Okay, look, this isn't home for me anymore.
Ruby: *eyes wide with shock*
Yang: My home is wherever Ladykiller is.
Ruby: That... actually... makes a lot of sense...
Jaune: When... when did that happen?
Yang: Who knows, Ladykiller, but for me, it doesn't matter.
Ruby: That is why we're here...
Yang: *points at the couch*
Yang: Take a load off.
Jaune: *slumps onto the couch*
Ruby: Can we get you anything?
Yang: *sits on the couch and locks her arms in Jaune's*
Ruby: Good point.
Ruby: *sits on the opposite side, locking her arms into Jaune's*
Jaune: *breathes deeply*
Jaune: *rests his head back*
Jaune: How I love you girls...
Yang: We know... And once we get this over with, we can...
* * *
Jaune opened his eyes, trying to focus on what was going on. There was noise in the background, and as his eyes focused he saw a person... blond hair... As he woke, he started to realize the girls were still in his arms, but by their rhythmic breathing, thought they were asleep. At this moment he was hit with a still panic. If Taiyang saw them like this...
And then he was there, staring Jaune in the eyes. The two stared at each other for half a minute before Jaune did anything in reply.
Jaune: Shh.
Taiyang: *reluctantly nods and walks into a back room*
* * *
Yang: *cute murmurs*
Yang: *stretches as much as she can without letting Jaune go*
Yang: *kisses Jaune on the cheek*
Yang: Why you so stressed, man? If I didn't know better, I'd think you weren't happy to see me.
Taiyang (from the other room): Firecracker.
Yang (under her breath): Oh, shit.
Yang: *stands up off the couch and moves into the back room*
Jaune: *listens to the emphatic voices without being able to catch what they are saying*
Jaune: I am so doomed...
Ruby: *cute murmurs*
Ruby: Nooo. You are so Yanged. Much better.
Ruby: *opens her eyes fully and looks about the room*
Ruby: Oh, no.
Jaune: So, here's what's going to happen. I'm going out on the front lawn. You're going to get your father. And then hopefully none of the furniture will be broken...
Jaune: *slinks away*
* * *
Taiyang: *walks out on the front door*
Jaune: Sir.
Taiyang: Son. Yang kind of explained what's going on here...
Jaune: Kind of?..
Taiyang: She explained that you are the first serious relationship she's ever had. It's so serious that she considers YOU to be home, and not here. But... there's also something she did not explain, and seemed to want you to be the one to do so.
Jaune: *closes his eyes and breathes deeply*
Jaune: Sir, I want to marry your daughters.
Taiyang: You want to marry Yang?
Jaune: Daughters, Sir.
Taiyang: And just what kind of idea is that?
Yang (walking out): Coming from Taiyang Xiao Long.
Taiyang: *turns to look at Yang and Ruby walking out of the house*
Taiyang: And what's that supposed to me.
Yang: *points at herself*
Yang: *points at Ruby*
Taiyang: Wait, me? That's... complicated... and you know it...
Yang: It's complicated because mom ran away. The difference is that I'm not going to.
Taiyang: *gives Yang and angry glare*
Ruby: Dad?
Taiyang: *looks at Ruby*
Ruby: We love him.
Taiyang: That doesn't mean you can all of a sudden both marry him.
Ruby: Why not?
Taiyang: I'm not the one who writes the rules.
Yang: One of us will be a mistress. So what, what matters is how HE treats us, not anyone else.
Taiyang: *alternates between glaring at Ruby and Yang*
Jaune: Sir?
Taiyang: *turns to look at Jaune*
Taiyang: And just who uses Sir nowadays?
Crow: *lands and turns into Qrow*
Qrow: I know, right.
Ruby and Yang: Uncle Qrow!
Jaune: Uh?..
Qrow: So, what exactly is going on?
Taiyang: This one man would like to marry my daughters!
Qrow: *takes a drink*
Qrow: And why in Remnant are you surprised?
Taiyang: What does that mean?
Qrow: *hrmphs*
Qrow: I'm not sure if you're are serious, because that would make it so much more hilarious.
Taiyang: Can he love both of them at the same time?
Qrow: You loved both of yours, didn't you?
Taiyang: I... mean... I can't believe you are on their side.
Qrow: I saw my nieces coming to Patch and decided to join them...
Qrow: *shrugs*
Jaune: Then why didn't you just... join us?..
Yang: That's just how Uncle Qrow works.
Ruby: He always comes in out of nowhere and saves the day in a wicked cool fashion.
Qrow: *shyly looks away*
Taiyang: *glares at Jaune*
Taiyang: Do you really think you can love both of my daughters?
Jaune: I already do.
Taiyang: *glares at Jaune*
Jaune: *nervously looks at Taiyang*
Taiyang: *looks at his daughters*
Taiyang: Really?
Yang: You are always telling me to be serious... about life... about relationships... Well, I am!
Ruby: We are!
Ruby: *emphatic nods*
Taiyang: Why the hell would you two try to copy me?..
Qrow: Easy there, Tai. Your dad language just slipped.
Taiyang: *breathes deep*
Taiyang: It's just, my relationships didn't exactly work, either... And I don't want to see my daughters do the same thing...
Yang: Like I said, the only reason it didn't work is that mom ran away. I'm not going to make that same mistake.
Taiyang: Alright, I still don't think this is a great idea... but believe you two are old enough to be making this decision on your own.
Taiyang: *turns to Jaune*
Taiyang: And don't you think for a second you can!..
Qrow: Easy, Tai.
Taiyang: And why should I take it easy?
Qrow: One, the girls are making this decision, and it doesn't seem like they are making it lightly... at least I hope they aren't... and two... I'm better at stalking humans and carry a giant scythe.
Ruby: Oh, he's just joking.
Yang: Kind of...
Jaune: *nervous laughter*
Qrow: I'm not exactly a good judge of relationships, so, you don't have anything to worry about unless you do something seriously horrifying to them. But the girls seem to like you, so, who am I to judge?
Taiyang: *sighs*
Taiyang: I'm going to go finish dinner...