Chapter Text
Paris is on fire.
Ladybug stands on a quiet rooftop and stares at it, lost in her own head. Six days ago, she saw a man crushed to death in front of her. No matter how many times she sent out the power of her Miraculous Ladybug… he never breathed again.
She had to tell his family.
Then she had to tell the families of the other two people who died in Varity’s first attack.
Today, two more people died in a rock slide. The Earth Miraculous’ power to create quakes and control matter… she doesn’t know how to stop it. How to… make it right.
And it’s all her fault.
All of it.
If they’d been faster that first day, if she’d seen this coming -- if she’d taken Varity seriously when the woman showed up demanding a contest…
She hadn’t even known there were other Miracle Boxes. She has been… so naive. So in the dark. So childish.
And she’s left her friends in the same predicament, all these years, all because… because what? For what?
Why is this happening? Why has she failed?
Why has she failed them?
Her mask catches the tears and makes her vision blurry. She doesn’t have to see to hear and sense her friends joining her, one by one. This is the longest any of them have had their Miraculous at once, and that… that’s her fault too.
If they’d had more practice with their powers…
Marinette bites her lip, digs her nails into her palm. She should be enjoying university, making new friends, going drinking and living life. She should have given up the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous after Hawk Moth left.
But she couldn’t.
She wanted to be a hero.
Marinette scoffs at herself silently, sorrow and helplessness turning to rage. Rage at Varity, rage at the senselessness of death, rage at herself.
“Ladybug.” Rena Rouge’s voice is scared. Marinette can count on one hand the number of times she’s heard her best friend sound scared.
“What… what are we going to do? We can’t beat this chick. That new girl almost died today…” Carapace, worried, probably hovering protectively near Alya.
Ladybug turns to face them. The ‘new girl’ is here, too, behind Carapace, leaning against the chimney. Her arm is bandaged, another thing the Miraculous Ladybug didn’t fix. Tigre stands beside her, arms folded over his chest, and since her bracelet isn’t blinking it means she didn’t summon him with her power -- he’s here on his own. That means Zephyr is nearby too.
Good.
They’re all here.
Of all of them, Queen Bee is the only one who isn’t looking at Ladybug like she’s their only hope. No, Chloé… Chloé has known for nearly a year now who Mari really is. And she looks as judgmental as Marinette feels.
“I’ve failed all of you,” she says, surprised by how hard her voice sounds to her own ears.
“That’s not true,” Rena denies, rubbing her arms. “It’s not your fault--”
“It is my fault.” Ladybug cuts her off, straightens her shoulders, wipes away her tears. She wanted to be a hero -- now she has to deal with its consequences. Decide what sort of hero--what sort of person--she’ll be from now on. With or without Chaton.
She has to stop holding onto the past, stop believing everything will someday go back to how it was. After this… his ring feels warm against her chest, beneath her suit. She holds onto that as the memory it is, holds on to the feeling of the trust they shared -- and tries, truly tries, to find it within herself to give that trust again.
Not to them, not to Paris, but to… herself. Master Fu told her once that she needed to trust herself, and she never really tried to figure out what he meant.
Now, she thinks she knows.
She chose these people--her friends--as her team. To help this city, when she couldn’t give up being its hero. When she needed to hold on to Ladybug, because letting go would mean giving up on Chat. Would mean forgetting everything they went through.
She chose these people, not to replace him, but to help her as he once did. As he will again, someday -- she hopes.
Now she has… now she has to trust her choice. She has to trust that who she is beneath this mask… she can still be Ladybug. Even if they never forgive her for all the years of lies, right now… they need to be a team. To defeat Varity, to keep more people from dying…
She hasn’t trusted them. She hasn’t trusted herself. And all of this… is her fault.
“I’ve been stupid and selfish,” Ladybug continues, gesturing behind her at the buildings on fire, the distant wail of sirens they should be doing something about but can’t. The remnants of the dead. People have died. “I’ve made childish mistakes. I thought I could keep living like nothing was really wrong, handing out the Miraculous like I had any right to, like it was… a game. Sometimes that’s what Hawk Moth felt like. Fighting him and the akumas… I could always fix it in the end. So it felt like a game.”
They’re all quiet, staring at her, mixed expressions and despondent figures.
She’s done this. Marinette--Ladybug--she did this.
To her friends.
How could she?
“I’ve been arrogant. I’ve been… so cruel to all of you.”
“Hold on, that’s not--” Again, Alya, trying to step in. Ladybug smiles sadly at her but doesn’t get the chance to speak, because Chloé interrupts.
“I agree.” Queen Bee’s voice is harsh, rightly so. Her arms are folded tightly over her chest. “So stop with the speeches and tell us how you’re going to fix it, Ladybug.”
Still calling her Ladybug. Still challenging her to be better. Marinette smiles at Chloé, too. That trust...
She says, “Tikki. Spots off.”