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The sky was gloomy, not really matching my mood. The weather forecast said it was going to rain late in the night, so at least it would be sunny on Christmas Day. I had just finished talking with the manager of a theatre nearby, which ended successfully. It was sort of weird to walk alone, since I usually meet someone I know around here.
"Hey," said a soft voice from behind. See. I turned back to see Tsumugi in a simple beige coat. Okay this wasn't really expected but time is never a waste talking with him.
"Tsumugi-san, I thought you had a shift today," I say as we started walking together. Today is Christmas Eve, but most of the actors had work to do. The students who didn't work hard enough seem to have school, adults had work as usual and some had part time work. Tsumugi also had a few classes with the high school boy who lives nearby today, if my memory is correct.
"I did, but he wanted to have some time to get ready for Christmas," Tsumugi explained, "he seems to have a girlfriend so.."
"Aren't you being too kind to the kid? He has exams soon right?" I ask from genuine concern, but he calmly continued.
"Well he has been telling me about today's plans from earlier this month, and he promised me to work harder today despite short hours."
Tsumugi turned back and smiled towards the students house. I guess if it was planned out it's okay.
"Fingers crossed for him," I smile, as Tsumugi does the gesture too.
Soon after that we started talking about the recent show that hold place nearby the accomodation. We both went together and had a great time, it let us think about what we can do in our company and what we can't. It was fun discussing about these little things with anyone, especially with him though. Of all the actors back at home, Tsumugi sets his eyes on the most smallest hidden facts. His perspective was always so wide but so precise at the same time, which is a thing I should be able to do as a director. I try my best to think like him when watching the guys practice; I once asked him for advice how he does it too. He did seem pretty flustered when I asked and said it was honourable at first, then hesitatingly told me about how he watches plays. Technically he is really the one to talk to, plus talking to him is just simply fun. I feel like I smile a lot when we chat, and hopefully, Tsumugi seems to smile more too. I might actually like him, but I don't know, as much as I like his personality I don't want to mess anything up.
"..so, that's when the lights play the important role," he ended his thoughts on the play. As always, he taught me something new again. I lightly clap my cold hands and tell him how I liked his perspective. The fingertips were bright red since this coat had no pockets, but it wasn't a big deal at all. Nothing matters when I have a good drama lecture. Later on, he told me throughout the whole walk he was looking for a place selling gloves. "Excuse me for talking so long," he apologizes, "they did such a great job and I couldn't stop my self." The little brightness on his face explained it all.
"I know that you're passionate about acting, and I like it so--," wait did I make things awkward? "Is that true? Thank you, I was worried that I was annoying you," he sighed in relief. Oh, he seems cool about it, thank god. His ears turned to a bright red, but maybe it's just the stinging winter coldness.
"You'll never manage to annoy me on this topic, you know me right?" I nudge him lightly, and he responded with a soft laugh. "Thanks, hey, Izumi-san," he suddenly stopped walking, so I did too.
"Yes?"
He only calls me with my first name occasionally and definitely only when there's only the two of us. It makes me blush everything though.
"Would you mind going out for another play tomorrow?"
It's Christmas tomorrow, was my first thought. The second was, is he asking me out? No wait, Tsumugi asking me to go for a play is a normal thing that has happened too many times. Well, actually we've been going to see plays pretty frequently these days.
"Just to clarify, I am aware that it isn't something a friend or co-worker would say."
"What do you mean?" I ask, somehow without stumbling over my own words. His eyes were looking straight into mine.
"I mean that, err, Izumi-san, I meant to tell this every time we went out together, um, err," he fiddled with his hair a little before blushing harder than ever.
"I'm not good at this at all, can you wait for a while?"
After seeing me nod, Tsumugi walked into the flower shop we had been 2 years ago. I still remember how delighted I was to receive the white pure flowers. One year later he gave me a flower box of preserved flowers as a present, also with dainty cute flowers. The latter wasn't made with real flowers, so I still keep it carefully near my desk. It was on display for quite a while, but I didn't want anyone to suspect anything. "Yes, it's Tsukioka, thank you Miss." He said, as he received a bouquet that seemed to be arranged beforehand. It was small and white, but a bright white that had its own sort of power.
"I was planning to give this to you before asking you out, but your smile made me panic, and I just blurted out the part I kept practicing," he smiled bitterly, leaving me alone still not being able to process what the hell is going on.
"I hope I don't annoy you with this. Izumi-san," he stopped once, and took one step closer to me.
"I like you, would you go out on a date with me?"
He gently handed the flowers out, as I received it with shaky hands.
"Are you sure you really like me?"
My voice trembled with every emotion that was running through myself.
"Yes. Do you remember when I told you those flower's meanings?"
I nodded quick, covering my mouth with my free hand. Either it was cold or I was blushing so hard, or perhaps both. The temperature difference was insane, but that wasn't a big deal now at all.
"You said it was hope and secret love." I looked down at the white stocks and their beaming pureness.
"Yes. I needed the flowers to help me out to tell you," he pauses once, then looked into my eyes again. His blue eyes were always calm but never fully hid the strong passion behind them.
"That, I didn't want to keep it hidden any more. I love you, Izumi-san. You're the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life." Every single world he said sounded so genuine.
"I'm not exaggerating at all," he added quickly.
"Thank you," I whisper, not able to speak yet, "thank you, Tsumugi-san, I love you too." At that he cut me off by kissing ever so softly, just like I dreamed once. It was quick and short, and his hand on my shoulder didn't feel weird at all. I like him, now I'm pretty sure this is true. I like him, and he said, he likes me too.
"Don't cry," he whispered softly to my ear.
"I can't help it," was my response as I felt like drowning in my own tears.
He suggested to go back to the accomodation once, since we were in public after all. Well, there aren't many people around but still. You know. I thought I forgot how cold it was, until Tsumugi gently held my hand. His was warm, from all the blushing he went through. It was kind of relieving to know that I wasn't the only one who panicked. We're both grown adults, who should be a little more chill about dating. It was kind of funny to think about, how overwhelmed it was to be told that he liked me, and to tell him that I liked him back.
We didn't really talk on the way home, excluding my occasional sniffs. It stopped when Tsumugi slowly pulled my hand into his warm pocket though. Warmth surfed through me, making me think a little straight. He also offered to hold the sweet little bouquet for me, although I said I wanted to keep it in my hands. This was the best Christmas Eve ever in my whole life, I whisper to Tsumugi's ear, kissing gently on his cheek. The snow white flowers looked better after he kissed back too.
___
"Hey there," I whisper to the garden flowers. Well, more like plants actually: It's still too cold for most of them to bloom. Some are beaming in the sunlight and the rain water from last night, because I arranged the garden to have at least 2 or 3 flowers blooming through the whole year. They were mainly a strong white that reflects the morning sunshine magnificently. Since they had been watered by the clouds last night, I don't really have to do anything this morning. I was about to stand up and leave, until a rare guest appeared.
"Morning Tsumugi-san, aren't you cold?"
"Izumi-san, good morning, I'm fine," I didn't bring my top with me because our wasn't planning to stay outside too long. Well I'm changing plans if she's here, besides, we don't really have the chance to talk together alone. Today's a lucky day, I thought as my girlfriend came next to me.
"The colours are a bit similar to the white stocks you gave me," she smiles warmly. I blush, as a flashback of yesterday ran through my head.
"I really could have said it all a lot more smartly," I sigh, as I pretend to look for weeds.
"Don't say that, I really liked it. It was romantic and a bit like a proposal," she said. Relief surged in me, thank god she didn't think it was weird. I was too shy to say anything without the help of flowers.
"That reminded me about something, the white stocks are on display in my room and I thought of keeping one or two as dry flowers," she said, blushing lightly, "would you help me out when you finish with the garden?"
"Yes of course, I actually don't really have anything to do this morning," I admit, standing up after waving to the flowers a little bye for now. I was thinking of staying here pretending to garden while she's here as I do sometimes, but it's just too cold this morning. A little breeze passed through my already frozen arms; I really should have worn a thicker shirt or a top. Izumi saw me shiver a little, then pulled me into her arms in a hug. Her hair was cold like ice, although every other part of her felt warm. I wrapped my arms round carefully, making sure that there's no dirt on my hands. It felt like an hour, but we stayed like that for probably a full minute.
"You're cold," she said, as we slowly parted.
"So are you," I smile. Before I continue, we both heard the front door open. Maybe Tasuku and Sakuya are back from their morning running routine. Knowing they won't be able to see as unless they come to the garden or go upstairs and to the little balconies, Izumi and I let go of ourselves in the speed of light.
"Tsumugi-san let's go indoors, it's cold and we don't want people to think it's weird." She said so real quick, walking over to the closest door. Her hair swiftly rose a bit, leaving me a feeling that I shouldn't let her go yet.
"Wait," I called out without thinking as I grabbed her hand. She looked quite surprised. To be honest I was surprised too.
"Sorry, I just felt like, I," come on, I can do this without flowers, "I'll miss you." I was aware that it's a weird thing to say since we do sort of live together, but still. I wanted to be with her. She leaned in to me a bit, as we kissed gently. A little longer than yesterday, but I tried not to show how desperate I was.
"Then come over to my room after breakfast," she said with my favourite bright smile, "and I'll come to this garden early in the morning again." We went inside at last after another short hug, to meet Sakuya and Tasuku as I guessed earlier. Just before we said the morning greetings to them, Izumi-san whispered to my ear.
"Merry Christmas Tsumugi-san, I love you."
Which I answered quickly so I won't regret.
"I love you too, Izumi-san."