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･ ｡ﾟ : *. ･ ｡ﾟ⊹ : *. ･ ｡ﾟ : *. ･ ｡ﾟ⊹ : *.
Tom was always away for filming, press tours and other work related trips, ones that sometimes lasted a couple months at a time and of course, you missed him. But you dealt with the absence of his sleepy grin kissing your shoulder after just waking up and his soft voice singing while doing the most mundane things; like laundry on a Sunday afternoon and washing the dishes after dinner. He did it because he knew you loved it. You could easily get lost in the sound the same way you did in his coffee-colored eyes.
It was okay. Tom was living his dream, acting in record breaking films, and being the real-life superhero that the world needs. He had always been yours. So having to miss him for a little while was worth it if it meant he could go and make other people as happy as he made you every single day.
You always missed the way his arms made you feel like pain could never touch you, like it didn’t even exist. The steady rhythm of his heart beating as you laid your head on his chest. Brown curls dancing across your skin whenever he kissed your neck. You missed everything about him but you did it. The two of you made it work and there had never been any doubt that you could.
This time though? It was harder than it had ever been before. When Tom got the call that he would have to leave again, only two weeks after you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, you couldn’t hide your frustration. As soon as you made it home from the hospital it was like time had flown by. One minute you were walking through the door of your cozy new home, Ella sleeping soundly in your arms while Tom’s were wrapped around your waist and the next... he was all packed. His bags that were sitting on the floor next to the couch remained a bittersweet reminder until he was boarding his flight, leaving his two favorite girls for the next four weeks.
“I’m so sorry.” His voice cracked, wavering as he pulled the two of you closer.
“Tom, love. Don’t.” All you could manage was a whisper as you watched him lean his head down to give Ella a gentle kiss on her forehead and your heart broke because you knew this was hard for him, too. “It’s okay. We’ll be okay.” You worked up a small smile, hoping that it would be enough.
He didn’t want to leave. It took all he had to let you go, sliding his hand out of yours with “I love you’s” left lingering in the space between you as he hesitantly walked toward the boarding terminal.
That was over a month ago. Tom was home now, back to pick up where you left off —- to the brand new family you had built together in hopes of finally getting to just… be together. It wasn’t that simple for you though. Not while running on maybe six hours of sleep in the last two days and more exhausted than ever. At first, you thought you could do it with no problems. You could take care of Ella alone while he was gone and everything would be perfect. Maybe you were still caught up in the glow of having her, the same warmth that you felt whenever she smiled and it reminded you of Tom’s. How the head full of thin brown curls atop her head looked strikingly similar to his and whenever her eyes fluttered open, you saw the same beautiful specks of dark chocolate.
You were tired and stressed and you didn’t want to admit it because it wasn’t his fault. You knew that if it were up to him, he would never leave or at the very least, take you both with him. But Tom knew you better than anyone and you just couldn’t hide it.
As soon as he laid Ella down gently in her crib, giving her a quick kiss and lifting her blanket up across her chest, he closed the door softly behind him as he followed you to the bedroom where he found you already laying beneath the covers.
Tom quickly pulled his t-shirt over his head, leaving him in nothing but his favorite pair of gray sweatpants—- the same pair that you wore more than he did, before climbing up to join you.
The room was quiet for a moment until he moved closer, propping himself up with his elbow so he could see you perfectly. “Talk to me, please.”
You turned your head slowly.
“Because I know something is bothering you and I want to know so I can fix it. Whatever it is. I-I mean I’ve been home for weeks but it just doesn’t feel like it.” He searched your face for any kind of sign, hoping for more than the exhaustion building up below your eyes and thin-lined lips.
“Y/N, I’m right here. I shouldn’t have to still miss you but I do.” Tom sighed and you swore you could feel your heart shattering because you never meant to make him feel this way, like he had done anything wrong because he hadn’t. It was all you.
Shaking your head, you sit up and turn, crossing your legs so that your knees were pressed gently against his chest. “No. I’m- I’m sorry.”
He placed his hand on your leg, encouraging you to continue with his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your skin. “It was just a lot harder than I thought it would be. Taking care of Ella alone, just after having her. I- God. I was terrified, Tom.” A short laugh slipped in between your words, as you thought back to those first few days after he left. “I swear, she knew you weren’t here and I couldn’t get her to stop crying and she wouldn’t sleep. I’m rambling, please make me stop.”
Tom chuckled as he sat up, his hand lifting from your leg only to rest against your cheek. For a second, he just stayed like that. With his perfect laughter still ringing in your ears and the soft brown of his eyes staring back into yours, he gave you a sense of sweet release as you were reminded to breathe. The pads of his thumbs brushed along your cheekbones and his lips curved into a small smile as you pressed your cheek into his palm.
Eventually you both erupted into a fit of giggles, no longer able to stay serious or be anything but giddy when he looked at you the way he was. It was moments like this where you had never seen his eyes so light, kind of like honey and the little crinkles right next to them that you had missed so much were more prominent than ever.
Tom leaned in, resting his forehead against your own before his lips pressed gently on the bridge of your nose. “I’m s-”
“Don’t you dare say it again,” you shook your head once more, bringing a finger up to stop him from talking. “Babe, I told you. It’s not you. You’re living your dream and I will never hold you back from that. I just needed to vent a little bit.” You softly kissed the corner of his mouth, waiting for the smile to grow as you continued leaving them across his jaw.
“I missed you so much, you know that?” Tom asked sweetly close to your ear as he brushed a strand of your hair out of the way.
“Huh, no. I had no idea.” With a cheeky grin, you started to move away from him but he caught your waist. His hands spread and fingers curved on your skin where one of his t-shirts was riding up on your stomach, pulling you on top of him. With both of your knees on either side of his hips, you let him take off your shirt and his lips immediately pressed against your collarbone.
“Why don’t you let me show you then, darlin’.”