Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Huening-ssi, could I talk to you for a moment please?” 

He turns around, raising an eyebrow at him. “How can I help you…” His eyes drop to his nametag. “Choi Soobin?” 

“Just Soobin is fine,” the student council president says, trying not to let a grimace show when Kai smirks at him. There’s no way Kai doesn’t know who he is. And in return, Soobin knows exactly who the junior is—one of the star athletes of their school, quite popular, and all around flirt...or so he’s heard. Soobin still remembers Kai when he was a freshman, back when he was small and cute and much more manageable—a stark contrast from the boy who’s standing in front of him now, someone who seems used to weaponizing his attractiveness. “The teachers wanted me to remind you about what the gum policy is in class. It’s ok to chew it, but you can’t keep on blowing bubbles.” 

Kai, who’s still chewing gum, blows an obnoxiously large bubble before popping it. Soobin tries not to stare at the way he licks the gum back into his mouth. 

“Isn’t that the whole point of gum, though?” 

Soobin shrugs helplessly. “I don’t make the rules. I’m just reminding you. You only have an infraction now, but it’ll escalate to detention, and I know if you get too many of those, you might get benched from the track team.” 

Kai’s face looks stormy for a brief moment before his usual smirk slides back into place. “It’s the job of the student council president to keep the students in line, hmm?” 

“Yes.” Soobin swallows—why does it seem like he’s walking into a trap? 

“Meet me at the track after school then,” Kai says, winking as he adjusts his backpack over his shoulder. “I’ll make it worth your while, prez~” 

Soobin bites his lip. What did he just get himself into? Despite himself, he strangely looks forward to their meeting. He doesn’t think Kai is a bad person, in fact, quite the opposite. The junior has proven himself to be hardworking and determined—although he excels now, there was a period of time when Soobin saw Kai stay late every night for practice. As student council president, Soobin was usually the last one out the building, but during that time, he never left after Kai, who he always saw surrounded by countless hurdles on the field. When it was raining, the boy moved inside. Kai’s sudden growth spurt gave him some trouble with jumping, and he walked around for a few months with plenty of bruises and bandages on his legs. 

His flirtatious attitude? Soobin sighs. That could probably be contributed to Yeonjun. Really, that guy influences everyone around him… 

Soobin finds Kai sprawled out on the bleachers, basking in the warm sun. Soobin takes a few extra seconds to admire the track star’s physique—long legs that never seemed to end, a trim waist, and the hint of muscle through the thin yellow tee that’s currently riding up his hips. With his eyes closed like this, face set in a relaxed smile, he almost looks like an angel. The juxtaposition is jarring. 

“Huening-ssi.” 

Kai cracks an eye open, immediately smirking when he sees Soobin. “Seems like you’ve been there for a while, Soobin-hyung~”

Soobin doesn’t know how to feel with being addressed so familiarly, but he brushes the thought aside.”What did you call me out for?” 

Kai takes his time stretching; Soobin averts his eyes, not quite daring to see how high Kai’s shirt could climb. The jock soon saunters over and casually slings his arm around Soobin’s shoulder.

“Wanna play a game, prez?”

Soobin doesn’t know if he wants to shrug his arm off or not. “What sort of game?” he asks suspiciously, and Kai’s grin widens. Up close, he can tell that his lips look exceptionally soft and shiny. Not that he was looking at his lips…(ok, maybe a little bit.) 

“Let’s discuss the stakes first. If I win, you grant me one favor of my choosing. If I lose, I’ll listen to whatever you say. No questions asked.” 

Soobin is both exasperated and intrigued. He decides to humor him. “What’s the game?”

Kai smiles wickedly and tugs—surprisingly softly—on his wrist until they’re underneath the bleachers.

“Ever heard of the chapstick challenge?” 

Soobin shakes his head, confused on how it correlated with being under the bleachers.

“You have to guess the flavor of chapstick I’m wearing. Though this is Jjunie-hyung’s, so it’s probably lip gloss.” Kai swipes his tongue over his lips thoughtfully. “Yup, lip gloss.” 

“How does this work? Are you giving hints?” The game itself doesn’t sound difficult. There were bound to be catches. 

“Nope. I’ll give you three guesses. You can try to smell it, or,” he winks, “You can try to taste it.”

Soobin scrunches his nose. Tasting lip gloss doesn’t sound that appealing. “Ok, where is it?” He holds out his hand expectantly. 

Kai laughs and puckers his lips. “It’s here.” 

Soobin blushes. Now it all made sense. 

“Cherry,” Soobin mutters, feeling like he’s already lost.

“Nope.” 

Soobin sets his jaw and takes a deep breath before stepping closer to Kai, who unsurprisingly, looks like he’s enjoying himself. Luckily, he’s a bit taller than the jock, so it’s not difficult to lean down towards his lips. Soobin tries to ignore how their bodies gravitate to each other, how the air suddenly seems to be rife with tension. He sniffs hesitantly. 

Fuck. He really dug a hole for himself this time. He doesn’t just smell Kai’s lip gloss, he also gets a whiff of whatever shampoo he uses—a bit of sunlight and ocean, and an underlying, clean scent that could either belong to Kai specifically, or the detergent he uses. 

Soobin wants to find out which. 

“...Strawberry?” 

“Wrong again~ Don’t you want to make your last guess count?” Kai says teasingly, eyes falling to Soobin’s lips, and Soobin more or less surmises his intentions. Soobin backs the younger into one of the poles, one hand tilting his chin towards him. Kai, with his deep brown eyes and glossy lips, looks pretty and devastating all at once, even in the muted light. 

Soobin wonders what kind of person he is to have willingly walked into this situation. Who’s taking advantage of who? 

Yet when they kiss, none of that seems to matter. Kai tastes sweet, and Soobin knows his goal is to figure out the flavor on his lips, but he licks into Kai’s mouth instead, deepening the kiss with an eagerness he didn’t know he possessed—and Kai makes a kitten-like noise of encouragement, his fingers threading in Soobin’s hair. Soobin settles his hands on Kai’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer, pleased at how Kai responds with a shiver and a suck on his tongue.

The flavored lip gloss is long gone by the time they finally part; Kai is pink and breathless and looks absolutely ruined. Soobin is certain he’s worse off. He runs a hand through his hair, hoping it at least somewhat resembles its original state.

“Pomegranate,” he guesses carelessly. Truth be told, he can’t entirely remember, his focus had been on drawing out more of those wrecked little sounds from Kai.

Kai giggles. It’s such an unexpected sound that Soobin is taken off-guard. Kai looks younger with such a bright smile on his face.

“You were right the first time. It was cherry.” 

“You—”

Kai pulls on his tie. “But that’s not gonna stop you from kissing me again, is it?”

Soobin just got well and truly played.

Chapter Text

“Just to be clear, I’m not looking for a relationship,” Soobin murmurs when Kai mouths at his collarbone.

Kai briefly stills before replying. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says cheekily. “With someone as uptight as you?”

Soobin has always been a secret romantic, so he doesn’t know how he lets his ambiguous fling with Kai progress so far. It’s unwise to pursue a relationship when he only has a few months until he graduates. So as long as what he and Kai had isn’t a relationship, it’s fine, right? Thinking like this, Soobin carefully constructs new walls around his heart.

(Some days though, Kai seems to be equipped with a battering ram.) 

Kai is terrible at texting. Soobin knows this primarily because Beomgyu, their only mutual friend, has complained about it before, but also because Kai never lets him know when they’re spending time together, it just happens. Kai will drop in when he’s working on his student council duties, or stop him in the hallway to find the nearest bathroom to make out in, or drag Soobin to his house without ever mentioning anything (Soobin stays for dinner, which is a surprisingly fun affair—Kai’s family is very loud and they obviously love him.) 

Soobin defeats Kai soundly at all the games he owns, which lets him see an entirely new array of expressions on Kai’s face. Soobin can’t take Kai seriously when he’s frustrated or when he pouts because he just ends up looking cute instead, and when Soobin tells him that, Kai ends up on top of him, indignant and kissing a little more aggressively than usual. Soobin doesn’t think he can control this human tornado, so he’s content to let Kai’s brief annoyance run its course. If this happens to be the consequence every time, then frankly, he enjoys riling the boy up. 

“Are there any other hidden talents you’d like to tell me about?” Kai asks breathily when he’s done wreaking havoc on his neck, and Soobin belatedly hopes the marks can be hidden by his collar. 

“I can cook,” Soobin says, and Kai’s eyes gleam at this before he leans down to nip at the older’s ear. 

“Well, you’ll have to invite me over and show me then, huh?” Kai says, and Soobin shivers from the feeling the younger’s warm breath fan over his sensitive ear.

“I guess so.” And the conversation ends there, when Kai’s fingers brush against his hip.

Soobin sleeps over that night. Kai is on his side, arm draped across Soobin’s waist. 

“I can’t sleep without holding something,” Kai says sleepily. “And you kicked Molangie out, so.” 

Molangie is a cute bunny plush, one of several plushies that Soobin had seen in Kai’s room. The younger really does keep on showing different sides of himself.

If Kai spoons him during the night, he says nothing of it in the morning.

Soobin’s parents coo over his new “friend”. They think Kai is adorable, and Soobin can do nothing about it except suffer in silence. Kai visits Soobin’s house more often than the reverse because Soobin’s room is neater and his siblings are all at university, which means they get interrupted less often. 

That is a good thing, considering they spend most of their time horizontal on Soobin’s bed.

The first time Soobin is struck with a feeling of being in too deep is when Kai comes out of the bathroom one night wearing one of his spare shirts and smelling of his lavender shampoo. 

(He finds out that the clean and pure scent he’s been wondering about is just the way Kai smells.) 

Soobin isn’t really partial to bread until Kai starts bringing it to him whenever he stays over for student council duties. The boardroom nowadays feels a little empty without Kai sitting on one of the tables and dangling his legs. Surprisingly, Kai gets along with the vice-president and Soobin’s best friend Taehyun quite well, who also often stays behind to help Soobin. Taehyun being present is both good and bad for obvious reasons.

Since Kai hadn’t been seen at his usual haunts for a while, Yeonjun and Beomgyu accompanied him one day. 

“Soobin, it’s been a while,” Yeonjun says cheerily, but there’s a glint in his eyes that suggest Soobin may be getting some form of the shovel talk later.

“Yeonjun-ssi,” Soobin says politely. “Hi, Beomgyu.” 

“Hi Soobin,” Beomgyu says with his usual tendency to drop his honorifics. Soobin rolls his eyes and takes a bite of his bread. He really doesn’t know how he’d gone on for this long without knowing how delicious bread was. 

“Ooh, are you looking at proposals for the school festival?” Yeonjun peers over his shoulder. “You should accept mine. A talent show is obviously the best option.” 

Taehyun looks sharply at Yeonjun. “Every student deserves to be heard.” 

Yeonjun startles, as if he hadn’t noticed Taehyun. “Who are you?” 

And that’s how two turns to three then to five. The boardroom is quite noisy these days. 

Soobin really likes watching Kai play the piano. More and more he feels like the younger is too talented to ever be normal. Sometimes Soobin will move from the student council boardroom to the music room instead so he can listen to Kai’s playing while he works on his papers. 

Kai indulges Soobin in times like these, jokingly taking song requests (though he does end up playing them.) Memorably, Soobin tears up one time when Kai plays “Summer”, and Kai makes fun of him for days after that. 

When Kai pulls out the guitar when they’re over at his house one day and sees Soobin’s shocked face, he shrugs. “What? Musical talent runs in the family.” He’s not exactly exaggerating—Kai’s father is an accomplished singer, and his sisters are currently idol group trainees. “I’m working on a song right now. Wanna listen?” 

Kai, unsurprisingly, is amazing at singing too. Soobin already regrets he never got to hear him sooner. Kai’s voice is the type to be well suited for ballads and love songs.

Cool wind and the sensation of the blue sky

An ecstatic fall, a moment of alwaysness

I’m not afraid, don’t let go of my hand

It’s at the right time we fall

Soobin falters, his walls falter too.

“Well?” Kai asks expectantly when he finishes strumming, lower lip snagged between his teeth. It’s a nervous habit; Soobin thinks it’s adorable.

“It’s good,” Soobin manages. “Very good.” Then he leans in and kisses Kai, hoping it’ll make him forget the way his heart had suddenly seized in vulnerability. 

It doesn’t, not really.

There are of course days, too, when Soobin doesn’t see Kai at all. They are both busy students; Kai still has to attend his practices, and Soobin has university to worry about. 

Neither of them text each other unless it’s their last resort. It’s now an unspoken agreement; one less thing to tie them together afterwards. Still, they know each other well enough to know each other’s general whereabouts at any given time.

So Soobin is fairly confused when he sees a sticky note on the boardroom’s podium. He picks up the yellow slip of paper. It has doodles of bunnies all over it, and a short message.

I’ll be late today, don’t wait. See you at your house at seven >3< -HK

Soobin smiles. Kai, underneath his flirty exterior, is extremely cute and puppy-like. It makes him want to hold and protect him. 

“You are so whipped,” Beomgyu comments. “What’d your boyfriend write you?”

Soobin’s tongue feels heavy in his mouth. “He’s not my boyfriend.” 

“What?” Both Beomgyu and Taehyun stand up from their chairs at the same time. “You’re lucky Yeonjun’s not here. What the hell are you then?” 

Soobin finds himself tongue-tied. “Friends?” 

“Friends,” Taehyun says flatly. “Friends who make out and sleep over at each other’s houses every day.” 

“With...benefits?” Soobin winces. They never talked about any labels after that one time, but Soobin figures this is the closest to what they are. 

“Choi Soobin, you are an idiot,” Beomgyu says.

“Let’s not talk about it,” Soobin says tiredly. “It’s what we both want.” 

Beomgyu and Taehyun give him disapproving glares, but neither of them press forward. 

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t go punch him right now.” 

Kai looks at him crossly. “Jjunie-hyung, you know that I consented to this, right?” He pouts. “I wouldn’t have answered you if I knew you were going to act this way.”

Yeonjun purses his lips. “So you’re sure he’s not just... using you as some sort of stress relief right before he graduates?” 

Kai gives him a deadpan stare. “Jjunie-hyung, you’re friends with him now. What do you think?” 

“...He wouldn’t,” Yeonjun mumbles. “I just pegged him as a softer guy. And you.” The older jabs a finger in Kai’s chest. “You overgrown brat, I’m the most worried about you catching feelings. Friends with benefits never work out in the long run.”

“There is no long run, hyung.” 

Soobin spends days agonizing over what to buy as a gift for Kai making nationals. He also asks for advice from his older sister, who is thankfully very helpful. 

“Who is it for? Your girlfriend?” 

“Something like that.” 

The way Kai squeals over the giant stuffed bunny plush makes it all worth it, doubly so when Kai grins and names it after him. “I love Tobin,” he declares, chin resting atop the plush’s head, and Soobin’s heart twinges and his walls tremble. 

Oh, Soobin thinks faintly.

He waits until he gets home, and it’s with shaky fingers that he sends the text. 

I think it’s time we end this. You’re going to be busy with nationals and it’s almost graduation time for me. Thanks for everything.

Kai doesn’t reply.

Soobin, like he predicted, naturally doesn’t see Kai for the next few days due to their schedule. Soobin merely has to stop searching for him in a crowd, to stop making time for him, to stop thinking about him, for Kai to disappear. They’re in separate grades, so it’s not like they shared classes together. When he finishes with his work early, he vaguely wonders if he always had this much free time.

When Taehyun sees him heading to the music room, he quickly stops him. “Don’t go in there right now,” he says. “Let’s head to the boardroom.”

Soobin looks at him confusedly. “What’s in there?” 

“It’s more of who’s in there. Besides, you have no business here. Let’s go.” 

He’s not wrong. There’s no reason for Soobin to visit the music room anymore, but Soobin has this aching feeling in his heart that wouldn’t go away no matter how much he ignored it. He was hoping to be alone in his thoughts in the music room, but he guess that’s not an option anymore. 

“Tell me, Hyunie. What’s wrong?” 

Taehyun’s lips form a thin line. “Nevermind. Maybe you should see for yourself. The both of you, idiots.” Taehyun walks away as he shakes his head.

Soobin has a faint idea of what—who—Taehyun’s talking about. Now that Soobin has had a few days to think about it, isn’t a clean break also wrong? They got along fine as friends. Soobin doesn’t want to lose Kai totally—doesn’t want to lose Kai at all—so he sets his jaw and opens the music room door, only to see something much worse than what he’d been expecting.

Kai is kissing a blonde girl against a table. Someone from the cheer team, from the looks of her uniform. He immediately yanks the door shut before he’s seen. 

Soobin makes sure his breathing is controlled, even. He texts Taehyun that he’s going home early and that he’ll handle the paperwork tomorrow.

Taehyun shows Beomgyu the text. 

“That bad, huh.” 

“Like I said. Both of them are idiots.” 

Soobin did himself a favor by breaking it off before either of them could develop feelings. So why does he feel like he’s the one that’s broken? 

“Sweetheart, where’s Kai? He hasn’t been over for a few days.” 

It’s an innocent question, but Soobin is also on his fifth ice cream cup and his second melodrama so he may or may not have teared up. 

“Busy,” he finally says.

Soobin is tasked with giving a presentation to entice students to join the student council. Of course, one of the classes he’s assigned with is Kai’s. He hopes that Kai’s absent for nationals practice. 

He walks in the door and immediately regrets his decision. Kai is sitting in the front row. Worse, Kai doesn’t even ignore him—he winks, and Soobin is suddenly reminded of the day it all started. He recognizes the blonde girl sitting behind him as the one he saw Kai kissing the other day, and his mood immediately sours. He clenches his jaw.

Soobin’s professionalism is hanging on by the skin of its teeth as he gives the presentation. He pointedly ignores Kai, who blows bubbles throughout the whole thing. He smiles and answers questions like he’s supposed to, and he honestly thinks he’s going to make it out of there until Kai pops another bubble. 

Soobin is normally patient. But today he’s frustrated, annoyed, and jealous, and the last thread of his control frays and he snaps, “Kai, stop it.” 

The room is silent. Soobin, who’s known as a “gentle prince” amongst the student body, unexpectedly exploded. 

Kai’s eyes widen. “Stop what? Teacher, he’s bullying me,” he whines, which thankfully shifts the atmosphere. 

“Huening-ssi, how many times have I told you about our gum policy?” the teacher scolds. “You’re lucky I’m not giving you detention.” 

“If you don’t mind, teacher, could I speak with him for a brief moment?” Soobin asks, acting quickly. 

“Of course,” the teacher says warmly, after all, Choi Soobin is the role model for students. “I wouldn’t even mind it if you wanted to give him detention.” 

“That won’t be necessary. Thank you teacher,” he says, dipping his head. He closes his presentation and waits for Kai to meet him outside. The moment the younger steps out and the door closes behind him, Soobin’s hand encloses around his wrist and he tugs Kai down the hallway into the currently unused science lab. The window is obscured so Soobin doesn’t hesitate in shutting the door and pressing Kai against it.

Soobin is so wound up that for a few moments, he just stares at Kai, not knowing what to say. When words do finally come out, he almost growls them. 

“You’re with someone else already?” 

Kai looks quizzically at him. “Why does it matter to you?” 

It matters to him because he’s fucking jealous, but Soobin has relinqushed the right to say that a week ago, Kai’s correct—they’re nothing now, not even friends. 

Soobin drops his grip on Kai’s wrist, feeling numb. He never should have convinced himself that he was capable of this farce in the first place.

He’s startled with Kai pulls on his tie. “You don’t mean to tell me that you’re just going to leave after bringing me here?” The younger raises an eyebrow at him. “What’s the whole point, Choi?” 

Soobin knows Kai’s just trying to rile him up, but it’s working, Kai has never called him by his surname but he’s sneering at him now, and Soobin feels another wave of jealousy and possessiveness overtake him, so he gives in, successfully taunted. His lips meet Kai’s bruisingly, and he kisses him furiously, determined to erase all traces of the girl who he’d seen Kai with. Kai fists the front of Soobin’s uniform as he bites Soobin’s lower lip. They fight for control, neither side willing to give in until the bell rings and Soobin’s reminded that he has to give another presentation. Even if Soobin is utter shit at pretending, he still needs to be professional.

So Soobin steps back, breathing ragged, and a terrifying feeling takes a hold of his chest, because Kai looks just as breathless as he does with his lips bitten red, and just as beautiful as he remembered, and just as not-in-love with him as he promised to be. 

But Soobin, he’s—he’s definitely in love with someone who won’t love him back. 

He bolts. 

Soobin feels a lot of things, but remorse is one of the prevailing emotions, so he stays up past midnight trying to draft a reply to Kai, but in the end, can only come up with I’m sorry. 

His phone blinks with a notification.

The recipient you are sending to has chosen not to receive messages.

Kai can count on one hand every single time he’s cried in his life.

He cries embarrassingly in front of his sisters. After comforting him, they give advice, the type of advice that only sisters can give.

Somewhere, Soobin is in the same situation.

Choi Soobin is a model student. His grades are perfect, he’s been accepted into Korea’s top university, he’s never broken curfew before. 

It’s four a.m. and he is running to an address he has long since memorized.

Huening Kai has never been in love until now, but he’s broken curfew a few times before, so he’s lacing up his shoes before it’s all too late.

They meet each other halfway in a crash of limbs and apologies and coincidence (fate). 

“I’m sorry, I love you,” Soobin manages to say. “Fuck. How do you make it look so easy, I almost died from running this hard.” His legs want to give out, but Kai is supporting his weight and looking at him adoringly.

“Don’t be sorry,” Kai says. “I love you too. Besides, I made it to nationals. You can’t exactly compare to me,” he jokes, but his eyes are obviously rimmed with red, like he’d been crying before. Soobin tears up again on the spot, knowing that he’d been the one who put them both through this, promising to himself that this would be the last time he’d ever make Kai cry. 

“I’m sorry for not being brave enough—” 

“No more sorries,” Kai says, smiling. “I just want my boyfriend to kiss me, then decide on whose place to go back to.” 

Soobin cups his face and pours every ounce of love he has into the kiss, heart fluttering at the word boyfriend.  

“Mine,” he decides, “Because I know your sisters are home and I don’t want to risk it.” 

“Yours,” Kai says, eyes sparkling with mirth, and they’re outside and awake at four a.m. on a school night, but everything in that moment is perfect underneath the moonlight.

The advice: “Oh, him? You’re stupid, he loves you. Go fix it.”