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For feeling undeserving, Giyuu never reaches out to take what he wants. He isn't the type to even say it. Shinazugawa can have similar issues, but only because of his pride-- he'll refuse to show his soft side until he's in the right mood to relent a little.
Because of his own reasons for acting in a similar manner, Shinazugawa makes some hasty assumptions about why Giyuu acts the way he does. He's convinced that Giyuu thinks he's better than everyone else somehow, and Giyuu only finds himself unable to argue because insisting the opposite would feel like he's asking for pity. That's not something he deserves, nor even desires.
He does want one thing, though. He and Shinazugawa have a very physical relationship, but no sexual ecstasy could ever compare to the way Giyuu feels when Shinazugawa is calm and a little sleepy and wordlessly pulls Giyuu closer in a half-embrace at his side. He always leans into it but doesn't dare lift his arms to return it.
Shinazugawa has not done this in a long time now. It feels silly, but more than anything, Giyuu wants a hug. He's grown comfortable enough with instigating sex purely because he knows Shinazugawa wants it even more, but he doesn't seem like the cuddly type at all. He looks more like if he could hide spikes all over his body to impale anyone who tries to touch him, he would.
It's not very manly to cower like that.
Words from long ago echo in Giyuu's head even now. He supposes that is what he's doing-- cowering. He's shying away from... what? Showing vulnerability? Shinazugawa has him naked on the regular, so that can't be it.
He supposes it's the same logic as usual. He detests speaking, especially repeating himself or raising his voice, because that would imply that he believes his words are worth hearing. If he voices his wish, that thus implies that he thinks he deserves to have it granted.
You know, overthinking all the time actually just makes you dumber.
Giyuu isn't about to argue with a memory. He struggles to clear his mind so he can go to sleep already, thoroughly bored of staring at the pitch black ceiling, but maybe it's stress that keeps his thoughts loud. He sheds the futon and just sits on the floor for a moment, contemplating what he wants to do, before wandering outside.
He's been thinking about Shinazugawa because he's nearby. They've hardly talked during his time in the area, but Giyuu suspects Shinazugawa will at least come to him to let off steam before he departs. Maybe he'll save him the trouble and present himself now rather than later.
Giyuu hears a fuss around the corner and goes to investigate, only to find Shinazugawa and a few other demon slayers talking and drinking. He has one of them in a headlock with one arm, holding his drink up high in the other, and they're all laughing. Hearing Shinazugawa laugh, seeing him smile, makes Giyuu forget how to breathe.
"Get over here, dipshit," Shinazugawa calls when he notices Giyuu. Giyuu walks over but does not sit with him. He can already tell he's killing the atmosphere.
"It's getting late," he states like it's not obvious. Shinazugawa snorts.
"Yeah, I was wondering where the fuckin' sun went."
The recruits laugh. Giyuu wants to ask why they're all drinking in the first place, but refrains.
"Have a sip, princess," Shinazugawa says. Giyuu looks around for who he's referring to. The recruits are laughing again.
"... Oh."
Giyuu is the princess, he guesses. Shinazugawa is holding his drink up at a nearly perfect height, almost high enough for Giyuu to drink out of his hand. But he takes the cup in his own instead, finishing off what little Shinazugawa had left. It's unexpectedly sweet, whatever he's having.
He stands there, both looking and feeling quite out of place, until Shinazugawa eventually dismisses the recruits, telling them to "get their asses to bed". It's now that Giyuu finally sits next to him.
Giyuu himself had barely a sip of alcohol, but Shinazugawa's face is flushed with proof of a hell of a lot more. He's ready for bed, no doubt. Then again, it's when he's sleepy that he gets...
"Could I..." Giyuu begins, quiet as can be. If Shinazugawa didn't hear him, he'll just drop it.
"C'n'you what?" Shinazugawa slurs, distracted by an itch in his eye. Giyuu watches him rub at it, his movements slowed by intoxication and exhaustion, and feels endeared.
"Um... I forgot," he lies terribly. Not his strong suit, that.
"Fuck that. Can you what?" He repeats, clearer this time. He's lowered his hand and opened his eyes, and though they're normally wide and wild, right now Giyuu can see the weight of his eyelids. He could probably just shrug off the question for a few more minutes and then Shinazugawa would fall asleep right here on the side of the street.
But...
"A hug?" he brings himself to ask.
It would feel so much nicer if he fell asleep with Giyuu in his arms, and his face buried in his side or his shoulder.
"'S it?"
He grabs Giyuu, still rough even in this state, and pulls him close, wrapping both arms around him and nosing at his neck. It feels so close, so warm in more ways than one. It's everything he wanted.
Just as Giyuu thought, it's not long before Shinazugawa's arms go slack and his breathing evens out. Giyuu takes him back to his home but then feels weird about sharing a bed with him, considering Shinazugawa is currently a passed out drunk that he dragged in from the street. So, he carefully tucks Shinazugawa into the futon and lies down on the tatami mats next to him. Mere minutes after he closes his eyes, he's startled by a hand suddenly grabbing his. Shinazugawa shows no signs of waking up, but he instinctively sought Giyuu out.
Giyuu curls up to it, bringing Shinazugawa's knuckles to his face and pressing his lips against them. He falls asleep like this, perfectly content.