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Circe was only partially surprised to discover that awakening on the cool tile floor hadn’t left a crick in her neck-- after all, from what she was aware of, death typically implied that you lacked the ability to feel pain.
Circe sat up on her haunches and looked around with interest. Running her finger against the ground, she only allowed herself a brief moment to stare at her surroundings in wonder. Realistically, upon discovering that they were dead, most young people would panic. They would beg and plead and wish for fate to restore them to their bodies so they could squeeze a few more years out of their life like they were wringing a damp towel. According to these assumptions, she really should be more concerned about her current state. Dying was typically something spontaneous and unwanted, but Circe couldn’t exactly relate to that.
She knew what was going to happen to her the moment she slipped under the cool ocean water, eyes closed and hands held loosely at her sides. The waves had covered her body and saltwater filled her lungs. Floating in her own realm of silence, the water had almost felt safe. The time she spent under was peaceful, and she had very quickly come to terms with her rapidly approaching demise. She was the one who stepped off that pier-- the one who decided that now was her time, anyway. Death wasn’t what caught her off guard, but waking up to a white marble floor sure was.
The clicking of heels against the cool surface startled her out of the trance and Circe shot a glance around, unable to determine the source of the sound. The tip-tapping stopped, and the previously barren space in front of Circe was suddenly occupied by a person-- or, at least, that’s what she assumed the presence was.
In actuality, Circe could not get herself to focus on the figure directly. Their face and body was constantly morphing from one type to another, never settling on one distinct shape or feature for too long. She could not tell if the figure was man, woman, their height, their stance, or anything else remotely helpful in determining identity. The silent individual did nothing to ease Circe’s stress-- if anything, it simply caused more confusion. I thought death was supposed to calm me, she mused bitterly.
With a rough voice, Circe spoke for the first time, “What happened?”
“You’re dead, of course.” The voice spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and despite the circumstances, Circe couldn’t help but snort. As the voice settled over her, the momentary flash of humor was smothered by the feeling of her chest closing slightly. The voice seemed eerily familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on as to why.
“Yeah, I figured.” Pushing up off the ground, Circe came to stand on her feet. “Is this the afterlife, then? Who are you supposed to be?”
Their face morphed into something that seemed like a smile, and though it was unnerving to see on a never-stationary face, the intended warmth was not missed. “Yes, you are. Welcome Circe, I am whoever you want me to be. I am your God, HaSham, Allah, your Brahman. Anything that suits your tastes.”
Circe took the news without flinching, unable to fully process the importance of the statement through the shock. Her eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly, “And if I don’t believe in any of that?”
Within a second, the figure changed. Their body abruptly stopped its mad morphing and the illusion of the ever changing face slowly ground to a halt. Where an indescribable being had just stood, a woman wearing a beautiful silk gown now took its place.
“The Universe, then,” the now distinctly feminine voice declared.
Unable to understand the situation around her, Circe’s knees buckled and she crashed to the floor. Staring at the gorgeous woman in front of her, she had no idea how to process this and what the appropriate response would be. Seemingly anticipating the reaction, the Universe’s elegant dress was swept to the side and she knelt on the floor, grasping Circe’s elbow with thin fingers.
“Circe,” the Universe called softly, nails gently drawing patterns into her skin. Taking a few deep breaths in, Circe slowly managed to calm her galloping heart and made hesitant eye contact with the Universe. Her gaze was the color of liquid honey.
Before she could stop herself, questions were spilling from her chapped lips, “How did I get here? Why do you know my name? Why do I have a heartbeat if I’m dead? Why can I still lose my breath? Where is everyone else? Why-”
With quick movements, the Universe raised a hand and covered Circe’s mouth. A chuckle left her as a puff of air and she quirked an eyebrow. “Believe it or not, you’re taking this much better than most.”
Circe batted her hand away and stood up once more, trying not to use the strange woman in front of her as a crutch. Her legs felt like rubber and the distinct burn of adrenaline fled through her veins like a rushing waterfall. With a few more stuttering breaths, she finally managed to calm herself down just enough to take another long look around.
“So,” Circe said and waved her hand at the ceiling, “care to explain?”
The Universe gave her nothing but a slim smile, “Come with me.”
Her vermillion gown swished behind her as she turned and Circe followed, trying not to step on the expensive fabric. The Universe snapped her fingers and suddenly a door appeared. The frame was covered in golden carvings of faces and Circe had to bite her tongue in order to stop herself from questioning it out loud. The Universe opened the door with a twist of her wrist and confused eyes were momentarily blinded by a bright flash of light. Lids glued shut, Circe brought a hand up to cover her face and only dropped it when the glare had settled around them once more. Before she knew it, Circe suddenly found herself outside and her jaw fell open. In front of her was a lavish mansion. Upon further inspection, she discovered that it was actually a variety of mansions, lined up like toy soldiers. Each one displayed a different style and the touch of costly designs. Again, Circe found herself out of breath at the sight. From all around, people milled this way and that, dressed as beautifully as the houses painting the landscape behind them. Quite a few of them nodded towards the Universe, to which she nodded back.
“What,” Circe’s voice trailed off and she tried again, clearing her throat, “what is this?”
The Universe grinned, smile more catlike than ever, “Greed.”
“What?”
The Universe leaned back onto a wall behind them, collarbones bared to the sky above. “I said, this is Greed,” her head rolled towards Circe’s direction and a few stray black hairs fell into her face, “this is one of our seven locations for your desired afterlife.”
Circe’s brown eyes narrowed, “Seven?”
“Sins,” she clarified.
“Not to be the bearer of bad news or anything, but,” Circe shrugged, momentarily at a loss for words, “aren’t those bad or something? I mean, that’s what everyone says at least.”
The Universe giggled and her laugh was like the tinkle of a bell. “Well, I suppose. But, aren’t they also pleasantries? Was this not the reason they were shamed in the beginning? Because of how easy it is to succumb to their sharp talons?” She crossed her legs and sent a dramatic eye roll in Circe’s direction, “You humans are so stuffy. Do you not deserve to have your cravings satisfied after death?”
“Well, I-,” she stuttered, still unsure of what exactly to say, “I mean-- yeah, I guess. That makes sense.”
“Good, we’ve come to an agreement,” the Universe refaced forwards, “you can get everything you’ve ever wanted in life through the sin you choose. Whether it be money, power, fame, anything. Live your death the way you want to, I will not stop you. Other souls don’t matter anyway.” She reached out a hand to touch the nearest person, but instead of her fingers making contact with a solid surface, they slipped right through the stranger’s arm. Circe gasped lightly and the person of interest seemed completely unaffected, not even realizing that they were under her intense scrutiny.
“Other souls cannot lay a finger on you. No violence is needed when you can have everything you want.”
“But what if you want other souls in your world?” Circe was confused.
“Then you get to choose that for yourself. You allow them into your afterlife and you have the opportunity to remove them. Everyone's world is individual to each separate person.”
“But, why can you still touch me now? Aren’t I a soul too?”
“Because you’re still getting the tour,” she said it like that was a given, “you haven’t picked a Sin and solidified your spot in the afterlife yet.”
“Okay,” Circe still had questions, but she decided to drop them for now and asked the one that seemed most relevant to the current situation. “If I choose Greed, what do I get out of it?”
The Universe flipped a piece of black hair over her chiseled shoulder and began speaking once more, melodic voice soothing Circe to the bone. “An abundance of money. You live in the most lavish of houses on the most desired of properties. Anything you want to buy is of access and anything you want to do is limited to what you can pay for.”
Circe’s eyebrows shot up. In her previous life, money had not always been of easy access and she could recall many times in which she would have done anything for some spare change. Luxury being this expendable and mundane was definitely something she could see herself enjoying.
“Well,” she said, hands wringing, “I guess I’ll stay here for awhile and explore the other areas later--”
“Tsk, tsk,” the Universe interrupted Circe, reaching over and trailing a finger under her jaw, “not so fast. Heed this warning: once you choose a Sin, you cannot back out of it. There’s no such thing as an ‘I changed my mind, let me pick again’ here. Once you select, you stay. No skipping around,” she retracted her hand, “remember that.”
Circe shuddered at the change in tone, not enjoying her normally calm tour guide’s switch in attitude. Suddenly, thinking she stepped over a line, Circe felt like a fish out of water. She didn’t have to worry for long, though. Her guide quickly snapped back to her original personality and hastily pulled Circe through another mystical door, completely out of place from the rest of its surroundings. This one, unlike the first, was a very humble looking entrance and the simple red surface could only leave her guessing as to where it would lead.
The bright light that engulfed her as she stepped through the doorway caught her off guard once more- through her curiosity and fascination, she had forgotten about it. Is this the bright light people always talk about? she thought ruefully.
Upon stepping through, she could instantly tell that they were somewhere different than the exquisite mountain range that had graced her view before. Sand settling between her bare feet and the cawing of seagulls instantly had her blood freeze in her veins and turn to slush. For a second or two, Circe thought she would open her eyes to the pier she had just jumped off of, blood orange clouds tearing through lilac skies with sharp fingernails.
“Circe,” the Universe called, firm but soft.
Jumping slightly, Circe opened her eyes to an unfamiliar beach and let a heavy sigh leave her lips. Maybe this whole experience had left her feeling shakier than she thought.
“I’m fine,” she said weakly, “tell me about this.”
Only hesitating for a second, the Universe began to explain once more. “Welcome to Lust. Here, you will transform into your most beautiful and desired self. Everything you want in a partner, action or appearance wise, can be achieved with something as simple as a snap of your fingers. If you-”
She was abruptly cut off by a noise coming from their left, towards the ocean. Circe’s head snapped in that direction and she thought for sure that she would see herself-- the mold of a bloated, shapeless, salt-soaked body that had been left for too long in the water helplessly floating around like a piece of driftwood. Instead, she came to discover that the noise had only been a thrilled laugh. Rather than her own rotting corpse, the water contained about a dozen people, and they were very much alive. Girls in bathing suits flung water at each other and let out more playful yelps. Circe placed a hand on her chest and tried to hide her momentary panic from the Universe, but she noticed anyways.
“Circe--”
There was no way she could choose here. There were too many memories associated with this place, regardless of whether or not this was an entirely new destination. “Can we leave?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She swallowed down the lump in her throat.
Without another word, Circe was brought through a weathered, ivory door and taken away from the place twisting her stomach into knots. Looking down, she no longer felt the softness of sand but instead the stiffness of a hickory floor. The change in environment immediately soothed her sizzling nerves and Circe began to sense the feeling returning to her fingers. Looking up, she was faced with the sight of an endless dining room, every seat filled with a person for as far as she could see. All of them looked lively, chatting with the others sitting around them and eating to their heart's content. Upon narrowing her eyes, she could just begin to make out the shapes of flying figures above their heads. One caught her by surprise when it swooped down faster than her eyes could travel and snatched an empty plate off the table. Taking a shocked step back, Circe bumped directly into the Universe. Before she could apologize, the Universe simply wrapped her arms around her waist and plopped her chin down on Circe’s shoulder.
“Welcome to Gluttony. There isn’t much explaining required here-- it’s exactly what you think it’ll be. You get to eat whatever food you want, however much of it you want, and whenever you want it. You will never be completely full, but you will never go hungry either. See those phoenixes?” The Universe lifted an arm and pointed at the objects rapidly flying around, and upon closer inspection Circe could determine that they were, in fact, phoenixes. “Those are your helpers. They fly down and collect your finished plates or they bring you whatever food you want. They are your servants.”
Circe looked down the table and raised an eyebrow at the amount of rowdiness she was met with. This is a lot of people crammed into one space…
“I assume this is a place for the more sociable?” Circe chuckled.
The Universe still had her head resting on Circe’s shoulder and she could feel her laugh as well, “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
The two of them didn’t stay for too long, as Circe did not have a very strong desire to pick Gluttony. As of right now, Greed was still the highest on her list and seemed the most desirable. The next door Circe was led through was made of solid obsidian, and simply the sight of it sent a tick down her spine. The Universe, of course, seemed completely unconcerned and ushered her through the door before she could protest, dress sweeping behind her like a crimson plume of smoke.
Circe was prepared for the flash this time and covered her face before it could blind her. The small sense of satisfaction for ‘hacking the system’ quickly vanished as her eyes widened with dread. This new destination only confirmed her feelings of unease and Circe instantly disliked the place. “This is--”
“--Wrath, I presume?” Circe cut the Universe off, shuffling her feet with nerves.
“Exactly. I see you’ve finally caught on.” With a grand sweep of her arm, the Universe seemed eager to show off the new terrain. A dark hallway spanned out ahead of them, dimly lit candelabras lining the wall. Large, blood red satin tapestries swooped down from the ceiling like a gruesome waterfall and a large gust of wind from behind her traced down Circe’s spine like a finger. Tendrils of ropes hung down like woven hair and the nervous girl felt her heart banging against her ribcage as if it was a lonely prisoner trying to escape their cell. Even as she turned and faced the Universe, a bright red among the hall of dark colors, she couldn’t will herself to unclench her fists.
The Universe took in a breath and began speaking, but an ear shattering scream ran through the air before she could get past the first few words. Jumping in her spot, she dashed over to where the Universe had been lounging against the wall and tried her best to make it appear that she was simply standing close rather than hiding behind her. She noticed Circe’s antics anyways and laughed, sounding incredibly out of place in the eerie atmosphere.
“Oh please, that is nothing to worry about. It’s what’s expected to be found in Wrath, after all.” The Universe grinned at her, canines flashing, and suddenly her presence didn’t comfort Circe as much as it should have. Gathering herself, Circe took a few steps back.
“I don’t like this either, can we leave?”
“Aw, you don’t even want to hear the details? Here, let me explain anyways. Wrath is--”
“--I assume it’s pretty much a given, right? I don’t need to hear the specifics.”
”--where you can get revenge on any that wronged you in your life,” the Universe continued as if Circe hadn’t spoken at all. “Any weapon you want is available and any person is at your disposal. You can take out your anger on all of them, it doesn’t matter who.”
Circe tucked her arms into her chest and shook her head, “No, this isn’t the place for me. I’d never get enjoyment from an existence only made of hurting people.”
“Do you not have people you want to get revenge on? They’re not the actual people anyways, just mirages.” The Universe brought a finger to her chin as if she were thinking and pretended to contemplate something. “Ah! What about that pesky boss of yours? Doesn’t he deserve a taste of his own medicine? Always asking you to do stuff that shouldn’t involve you then not paying you for it? How dare he! Or, how about that one bully back from high school? The one that chopped off your pigtail and made you walk around with embarrassment on your shoulders for hours?”
“No!” Circe covered her ears, “I could never!”
“Ugh,” The Universe finally relented, “you know what? Fine. Humans are such pretentious things. You joke and think about stuff like this all the time, yet when given the opportunity to actually take action, you flake out. Just keep in mind,” the Universe examined her nails, “you’re dwindling on options. There are only a few locations left. Here, I know where I’ll take you to relax.”
Leaving Wrath made Circe feel much better, and she had an idea of where the Universe wanted to bring her next. It was almost too obvious-- calm down? Why, where else but Sloth would be suitable?
Her theory was confirmed the moment she stepped through the door, this time without the Universe’s helpful hand on her arm. Her feet landed on a plushy surface and Circe sighed in relief. The other woman clearly struggled walking on the soft surface in her heels, but before Circe could comment on it, the Universe reached down a hand and popped the shoes off herself. It would have been funny if Circe still wasn’t recovering from her visit to Wrath.
“Welcome to Sloth,” the Universe said, coming to stand next to Circe. Without her heels on, they were almost the same height. “Just look around. Here, you get to relax and sleep for days on end. Sloth has the most comfortable beds and pillows for everyone and the lowest stress level out of any of the other Sins. Things are brought to you on demand when you need them and any energy you don’t want to exert is diminished immediately.”
Circe looked out onto the sea of people. All around her were a variety mats, beds, chairs, beanbags, and blankets. Most people were sleeping, though a few were chatting or doing their own leisure activities. She was able to spot a little girl reading, a man watching television, and another one sketching in a worn out book. For the first time, Circe felt the feeling of exhaustion leak into her bones and her feet grew sore. This would be…a very nice place to spend eternity.
“This is awesome,” she whispered to herself, eyes wide.
“Isn’t it?” The Universe winked at Circe. “I would spend forever here if I could.”
Though Circe was very tempted, she still wasn’t done exploring what this world had to offer. “Okay, I’m ready to move on.”
The Universe fluttered her eyelashes, “Persistent one, I see. Okay, you know the drill.”
“What’s next?”
“You’ll see.” This new door was a very standard one, thin wooden frame appearing as if a single gust of wind could knock it down. With a jolt, Circe realized that she was looking at her own apartment door.
“Wait a second--”
Before she could protest, the Universe tugged her through the opening with unusual strength and Circe could do nothing but follow. Stepping into her apartment, something so familiar in a world so unexplored, was incredibly unsettling. But, unlike the other places, there was no one in sight.
“Where are we? Where is everyone?”
“Just wait,” the Universe was looking around with curiosity on her face, “I’ve always enjoyed coming to Envy with humans. It’s so different for everyone.”
“Envy? You mean this--”
Circe’s voice was cut off by the squeak of an opening door. Whirling around to face the entrance they had just walked through, what Circe saw killed the words on the tip of her tongue.
She saw herself. A perfect mirror copy of the person she was when she was alive. And, arm entangled with her own, stood a woman that she instantly recognized as her brother’s wife, Arlo. Both of them were laughing over something her copy had said. In Arlo’s hand was a bag of groceries, and all that Circe could do was stare at the scene in front of her.
“What is this?” She watched the two woman walk into her kitchen and place the bag on the table before looking away. “Why is Arlo here?”
The Universe came over to Circe and tilted her chin back towards where their companions were beginning to prepare dinner. “I said it, didn’t I? This is Envy.”
Circe was silent for only a moment, “Okay, I’ll bite. Tell me about it.”
Grinning, the Universe began, “This is the place where all your deepest wishes can come true and anything you envy for is yours. Objects, opportunities, people. For example,” she nodded towards the apparitions, “who’s she?”
“If you knew all those things about me in Wrath, then you know who that is,” Circe answered quietly.
“Hey, you said that you’d bite.”
Circe heaved a sigh, “My brother’s wife.”
“As per usual-- someone untouchable. But, here they aren’t. Here, you can have her and your brother remains unhurt,” the Universe had an air of mirth in her tone, but Circe paid no heed to it. She was too busy staring her fill of the two woman.
“Unhurt…” she breathed out.
“Yes! Exactly. Now, Circe, it’s time to make your choice.”
It took Circe a few seconds to process her words and she stared dumbly at the Universe, “Wait, what?”
“Chop chop, we don’t have all day. I just said that it’s time for you to make your final decision. So, where do you want to spend the rest of your death?”
“But I haven’t seen them all yet.”
Circe saw the Universe’s eyebrow twitch. “Yes, you have.”
“No, I haven’t.” They shared heavy eye contact. The Universe looked away after a few seconds and began twirling a piece of hair around her finger. Both of them were too stubborn to back down, but in the end it was Circe that spoke first. Her words were careful.
“You still haven’t shown me Pride.”
“That’s because there’s nothing there! No one has ever chosen to stay at Pride, so there really is no point in showing you when you’re just going to say the same.”
“I don’t care. I want to see it. If I’m going to choose somewhere to spend the rest of my existence, I would like to see all the options, thanks.”
The Universe stared at her for a few moments before gently shaking her head. When she grabbed onto her hand and began striding away, it was only with a slight pang in her chest that Circe left her dream life behind. The woman’s breath was taken away at the sight of the door to Pride-- an elegant white archway dripping in rubies the same color as the Universe’s dress. Out of every single entrance seen so far, this one was the most stunning. How could this possibly be nothing? Circe pondered. Her question was answered the moment she actually stepped through and caught a glimpse of the other side.
Circe tried to keep the confused disappointment from her tone, “Is… is this it?”
As the Universe had warned her, there was practically nothing there. Her head swivelled on her neck to look around the large wheat field they were currently standing in. From what she could see, there was no end anywhere near them. There was nothing, just an endless sea of golden yellow. The only object that she could currently spot was an old, rickety bench seated directly in front of them like a crippled man.
“I told you, didn’t I? In Pride, you don’t get anything. After all, if you’re prideful, all you need is yourself. Do you see why I said not to come here at all--”
“I choose Pride,” Circe said, completely serious. The Universe nearly choked on her tongue.
“Y-you what? Did you not hear anything I just said?”
“I heard it,” Circe said slowly, “and I choose Pride.”
The Universe blanched, tilting on her feet slightly. “But, what about Greed? What about Sloth? Do you not want to relax forever and burn all your stress? What about Envy! Does Arlo not mean the world to you? Would you rather sit in a wheat field and stare at nothing for all of eternity or laugh over a homemade dinner with the love of your life? Think about this, Circe!”
Circe ignored the tightening in her chest and instead held her chin higher. “I said that I choose Pride!”
Both women were facing each other, conflicting emotions flashing through golden eyes and stubborness in the other’s. Letting out a rattling sigh, the Universe seemed to compose herself and rolled her shoulders back. Her face blanked and showed nothing but lethargy, a sharp contrast to the expression that had been there before.
“Why?” she asked weakly.
Circe genuinely thought about it, unable to fully explain it herself. In the end, only one answer jumped above the others. “Because you clearly don’t want me to. There is something special about this place and you are trying to hide it from me.”
Sinking down into the wooden bench, the Universe let out a bout of hoarse chuckles. “I suppose I brought this upon myself, then.”
Circe nodded in agreement, waiting to see what would happen next. Was there supposed to be a flash of light or something? Some official certification for being dead and choosing a Sin? She could still feel the slight ache in her legs, meaning that she hadn’t completely crossed over yet. Though she wanted to tap the Universe’s shoulder and ask what comes next, it almost seemed like it would be cruel to disturb such a beautiful person while she was clearly going through inner turmoil. After a few minutes of waiting, Circe decided that she had gotten long enough to collect herself.
“So,” she started, shifting her weight from side to side, “what happens now?”
Circe almost thought that the Universe was going to ignore her completely, but that concern flew down the drain the moment the other woman looked up and made eye contact with her once more. The sight stole Circe’s breath and she froze where she was.
The Universe moved, scooting over on the bench. She reached out a hand and patted the empty spot next to her, “Welcome to Pride. Interesting to think that I finally have someone to sit next to me here.”