Work Text:
What do you want? 'Cause you've been keeping me awake
Are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake?
Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me?
Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be?
Every day's a little harder as I feel your power grow
Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go— Panic! at the Disco, Into the Unknown
Jimin was doing his literature homework when the first rock knocked softly against his window. The pen hanged over the paper of his notebook, the unfinished sentence staring back at him. Jimin frowned, waited for a few seconds to see if the accident repeated and gave his attention back to his essay when it didn’t. It went for a few seconds, long enough for Jimin to finish writing his train of thoughts and then there was that sound again.
And then again.
One was an accident, two was a coincidence, three…
Jimin stood up from his chair, glancing in the direction of his locked door before walking towards the window and pulling the curtains apart. His heart stumbled, almost falling off Jimin’s chest. He glanced back again, this time a little more anxious than before. He couldn’t say he was surprised, but he hadn’t exactly expected… him to appear under his window—as if they were in a romantic movie or something, uhg. Jimin hated himself for blushing at the thought—at ass o’clock on a Thursday, from all days.
He shook his head and opened the window, trying hard not to show the excitement coursing through his veins.
If one was an accident and two was a coincidence then three was Kim Taehyung.
“What are you doing?!” he hissed, biting the insides of his cheek when Taehyung gave him a wild grin. A grin that Jimin had started to associate with trouble and bruised lips.
Don’t think about that. You promised yourself you wouldn’t do it again, Park Jimin.
“How are you doing, flower? Wanna smash shit up?”
Jimin's heart lost a beat, pausing as Taehyung’s words settled inside, and then started throbbing madly. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t, no matter how alluring Taehyung’s deep voice was. He shouldn’t because he was good. He was responsible. He had lots of homework to do and he couldn’t afford to slack off if he wanted to keep his position as the top student. He shouldn’t because he had practice first thing in the morning tomorrow. He shouldn’t because if his parents ever find out that Jimin had to sneak out to run around with the local wannabe bad-boy in the middle of the night they would be so disappointed on h—
“Yeah.”
Taehyung’s grin grew, his cheeks puffing up. Jimin was afraid that his heart was trying to choke him on its way out of his mouth.
“Come one then!! Before they notice I’ve been standing here for the last ten minutes.”
Jimin took his fluffy brown jacket and threw it over his pajamas, put on his sneakers and shouted to his parents that he was going to sleep early. He waited until he heard them say goodbye before turning off the lights. His room was on the first floor and it wasn’t the first time Jimin had sneak out the window. He was good; that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be bad sometimes.
He staggered a little when he landed on the ground but, luckily for him, Taehyung was there to catch him. Jimin’s face blushed a dark red when their noses bumped against each other. Taehyung looked funny from up close. His eyelashes were long and thick, his lips looked extra pink—as if he had been biting them. He was warm too. His arms felt firm around Jimin’s waist.
Jimin swallowed down the saliva gathered in his mouth and took a tiny step back.
Taehyung was still holding him.
“Hey,” he said, his breath brushing Jimin’s cheek.
Taehyung’s mouth smelled of mint; his clothes smelled of worn-out leather and spray paint. Jimin wanted to snuggle on the crook of his neck and inhale his scent until his mind was dizzy—but that was way too creepy, Park Jimin for fuck’s sake. You said you’d stop.
“Hi,” sighed Jimin, sounding too lovesick for his own liking. He cleared his throat and took another step back, swallowing down the whine when Taehyung’s hands fell off his waist. “So, where are we going?”
Taehyung bumped his shoulder, throwing a wink in his direction.
“Follow me, nerd, I can show you the world.”
Jimin tried to cover his giggle behind his hand. He shook his head. His cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much and knowing Taehyung, this was only the beginning. If Jimin had learned something from the past six or seven months with Kim Taehyung, it was to expect the unexpected.
“You quote Aladdin and dare to call me a nerd?”
The night was cold and the freezing gusts of air slipped under the hem of Jimin’s pajama pants, making him shiver. He regretted not having changed to a pair of sweatpants until Taehyung noticed he was cold and threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling Jimin closer to his body. The heat that licked Jimin’s stomach was more than enough to keep him warm for the rest of the way.
They didn’t talk much while they walked. Small talk wasn’t needed between them—they had discovered that piece of information during their first official encounter. In reality, they had been classmates for many years but they hadn’t exchanged more than a few casual words until the day of the party. That party.
No one would have expected them to be friends in the first place. They ran in different circles; their lives were poles apart. It was a miracle that they had ended in the same place to begin with. It was almost laughable that a stupid spin-the-bottle game suggested by a very drunk Min Yoongi had pushed them together.
Their first official greeting had been a kiss.
It hadn’t been Jimin’s first kiss, but it had felt like it. The tingles running down his legs, the way his hands were sweaty as they gripped Taehyung’s shirt, the way his heart plunged down and then jumped up when Taehyung had let out a soft whine. Taehyung’s mouth had been warm and soft. Soft and wet. Wet and warm.
Then Jimin had cupped Taehyung’s nape and deepened the kiss, licking the taste of candy from Taehyung’s palate and Taehyung’s body had gone pliant. Their friend’s laughs and whistles had broken the spell surrounding them. Jimin realized what he had done and pulled away, an apology already on the tip of his tongue.
Except Taehyung had smiled at him—a crooked grin with bruised lips that had looked almost sinful on his face.
“That was hot. I’m Taehyung.”
“Jimin,” answered Jimin, feeling the weight of dozens of eyes on his back. His ears were burning.
Taehyung had tilted his head to the side, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Wanna go somewhere more private?”
“I, uh. Okay.”
They had left their friends and the game behind, found a nice spot under a window and made out for half the night. The other half, they spent it talking about their likes and dislikes. They didn’t have much in common but it was okay. It was more interesting that way. Jimin talked about his dance and Taehyung talked about his art. Jimin talked about booze and Taehyung talked about the best abandoned spots in the city. Jimin talked about his family's high expectations of him and Taehyung talked about how relieved he was now that he and his sister had managed to escape from his parents' house.
At the end of the night, Taehyung had promised Jimin to show him the magic of his street art live. Jimin had nodded, kissed Taehyung's lips and gone home. He didn’t think they would ever have the opportunity to fulfill that promise. That was, until three weeks later, they did.
It was strange after that. They didn’t talk much in school. Jimin often saw Taehyung hanging out with his friends on messy corners of the school. There was a rumor that they smoke. Jimin knew it wasn’t true because Taehyung had smelled like strawberry shampoo and the insides of his mouth had tasted like orange juice.
There was another rumor about Taehyung failing his classes, about Taehyung being dumb. Jimin knew those rumors weren’t true, either. He had read in passing one of Taehyung’s essays when he was helping their literature teacher sort-off the papers. Taehyung’s way of thinking was artistic, a little melancholic; tender without being afraid of hard truths. Jimin was only a little jealous, only a little fascinated.
They somehow ended at the same party again, almost a month after Taehyung had convinced Jimin to skip classes—“Just tell them you got sick, Park. Teachers love you and you’re smart. Come with me.”—and go spray paint an abandoned train. This time they hadn’t needed a game nor their friend’s stares to find a private spot.
It had been Jimin who took Taehyung’s hand and guided him outside. The courtyard was empty, too cold even for the horny teenagers looking for a place to make-out. Not too cold for them to sit on the damp grass and pass a bottle of awful wine while they talked. Not too cold for Taehyung to climb on Jimin’s lap and kiss him silly, it seemed. Taehyung had shivered when Jimin slipped his cold fingers under his jumper and touched his lower back, but instead of pulling away he pressed himself closer to Jimin’s chest. Jimin was seventeen, he was at the top of his class, the teacher’s favorite, his parent’s pride, his mouth reeked of red wine, his ass was freezing and he was making out with the school’s bad-boy.
That’s how life should feel like.
“What are you thinking about?”
Jimin shook his head and looked at Taehyung with a tiny smile. Luckily for him, it was cold enough that maybe Taehyung wouldn’t suspect that the red color of his cheeks wasn’t caused by the kiss of the freezing wind.
“Winter. It isn’t so bad.”
Taehyung hummed and squeezed Jimin closer.
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“On if you have someone to keep you warm.”
Jimin was quick to look away from the glint adorning Taehyung’s eyes. If he looked a little longer, he would be tempted to stop in the middle of the dark street and pull that silly boy into a kiss. It was a bad idea. Like sneaking out of his house in the middle of the night. Like Kim Taehyung. Taehyung was a bad idea, some of his friends had said. Taehyung had a bad reputation, not the best grades and not the best family. Jimin couldn’t date him. It was a rock tied to Jimin’s neck. Social suicide, or something like that. Jimin couldn’t remember, he had stopped talking with that people soon after that conversation.
School was going to end soon, anyway. His father had taught him to surround himself only with people that made him shine. Kim Taehyung didn’t make Jimin shine. Kim Taehyung made Jimin feel like the galaxy.
“Where are we going?” he asked again, knowing that Taehyung wasn’t going to give him a proper answer.
“Just a few blocks. You’re going to love it.”
Jimin smiled and allowed himself to press his cold nose against the crook of Taehyung’s neck for a little while. Taehyung didn’t stop him. Instead, he kissed Jimin’s forehead.
It wasn’t too much, then. Sometimes, Jimin was afraid of being too much.
After all, they weren’t boyfriends. They were… something. Indefinite. Unlabeled. Indecisive. Jimin knew that Taehyung liked him but he didn’t understand why Taehyung’s affection was as melancholic as his literature essay had been. As if he was missing Jimin even though Jimin was right by his side. Jimin wanted to understand first, before asking the big question.
Jimin didn’t need Taehyung to point him to their destination because as soon as his eyes landed on the abandoned building, he knew it was there where they were going. Something that felt a little like nerves and a lot like excitement bubbled in his stomach as they approached the unfinished apartments. It wasn’t easy to spot, almost hidden by the surrounding buildings but Taehyung had a sixth sense to find places like that.
“It’s easy,” had said Taehyung during their fourth… encounter—Jimin didn’t dare to call them dates, as much as he wanted to. “They’re a little broken, a little dirty, a little lonely. They are like me and I feel their pull.”
Jimin had kissed him after that. He had pushed him against the floor of the abandoned train and kissed him until Taehyung’s lips had lost the barely visible sad-tilt.
“They’re still standing, thought. Because they’re strong and stubborn,” had said Jimin after he pulled away, wondering why his throat felt so tight. “A-and look! They’re not lonely! There are grass and flowers too.”
Taehyung hadn’t look around. He had run a hand through Jimin’s hair and cupped his face. His cheeks were pink, his smile was shy. He hadn’t look away from Jimin’s eyes when he said:
“Flowers, yes. The most beautiful ones.”
Dirt creaked under their shoes when they jumped inside the building through a broken window. Jimin inhaled the strange odor of cement, abandonment and fresh spray paint. He glanced in Taehyung’s direction with a knowing look. Taehyung grinned, took his hand and guided him deeper into the unknown, sure of his steps as if it were his own home.
Jimin’s eyes got accustomed to the darkness of the interior after a few long seconds. There was a staircase in the middle of the room and that’s where Taehyung took him, pointing the holes and the places where the wood had fell off. They climbed the steps between jump and jump, laughing when they stumbled or the stairs made weird noises under their weights. Jimin wasn’t afraid of falling, not when he was holding Taehyung’s hand.
The second floor wasn’t as cold as the first. The windows were still intact and the smell of paint was more intense.
Taehyung glanced up at the third floor. It wasn’t hard to guess that that was their final destination but instead of going up, Taehyung pulled Jimin towards the wall at the end of the room, near the window. Taehyung had uncovered it and moonlight spilled through the glass like liquid silver, lighting the room with white light.
Jimin wasn’t surprised to find Taehyung’s supplies scattered all over the floor, along with broken glass and ceramic.
“You’ve been busy,” he said, kicking an empty spray can. He looked around, frowning when he found bare walls without a single trace of paint. “Where’s your art?”
“Upstairs.”
“Aren’t you going to show me?”
“Yes, but first,” he came closer to Jimin, his breath tickling Jimin’s lips. “I promised you some smashing.”
Jimin swallowed down the groan of frustration when Taehyung winked and pulled away without kissing him. Oh, such a tease. Kim Taehyung was handsome and he knew it, the bastard. He knew he was attractive and a single one of his crooked smiles could make Jimin’s heart go into overdrive.
Jimin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Here, Park.”
Jimin opened his eyes. Taehyung was too close again, close enough that Jimin was surrounded by the smell of his leather jacket. The smell of his shampoo. Jimin tried to bit back a smile at the ridiculous sight of Taehyung wearing a pair of protective glasses, but the smile won. It spread all over his face like honey, warm and sticky.
“Don’t call me that.”
Taehyung insisted on helping him put on his own pair of protective glasses and Jimin left him. Taehyung’s hands were tender and careful and once the glasses were firmly seated on Jimin’s face, they cupped his cheeks. Jimin knew he looked ridiculous too.
“It’s your name. What should I call you if not that?”
The color of Jimin’s cheeks betrayed his composed expression. He wasn’t going to say it out loud, it was too embarrassing. Not that Taehyung need him to say it. The bastard knew what Jimin wanted him to call him.
Jimin cleared his throat and looked away.
“Whatever, Kim. I wanna break shit, c’mon.”
Taehyung snickered and finally pressed their lips together. It was a chaste kiss; too soft, too short. Jimin felt it to the tip of his toes.
“I love that grumpy tone of yours, flower.”
Jimin gripped Taehyung’s chin and kissed him harder. Taehyung wanted to laugh—Jimin felt his smile against his mouth—but Jimin didn’t give him a chance. He kissed that cheeky mouth until Taehyung was whimpering, his body melting under Jimin’s hands. A thin thread of saliva connected their mouth after they pulled apart, making something hot and bubbling appear on Jimin’s lower parts.
They hadn’t done anything—nothing apart from kissing and groping each other a little. And Jimin wanted. Jimin wanted so much that he was scared of being unable to stop once he got a real taste of Taehyung. How was he supposed to continue with his normal life knowing how Taehyung’s skin felt against his own? How was he going to listen to music after listening to the sounds Taehyung made when he felt good? No. It was better not to know for now. Not while they were in school and Jimin had to function like a normal human being.
Maybe after graduating, before Jimin went to college. He would have time to be glutton, then. To push Taehyung against his bed, take out his clothes slowly as he kissed all that tanned, unexplored territory. He was going to start with Taehyung’s neck, leaving red marks that wouldn’t fade for days before going lower, biting Taehyung’s chest and sucking Taehyung’s nipples inside his m—
Not again! You’re doing it again! Stop thinking about it!
Taehyung’s bat was resting against the wall and he rushed to get it, still trying to get rid of the lewd imagines inside his head. The shaky sigh Taehyung let out when Jimin walked away was good for his ego, though.
“So?” asked Jimin, feigning calm. “What are we breaking?”
Taehyung licked his lips and went to a dark corner of the room, coming back seconds later with ugly ceramic bowls and glasses and a playful glint on his eyes. Jimin snorted when Taehyung put a mug shaped like a pig on a block of cement and gestured at Jimin to hit it.
Jimin swung the bat back and forth, feeling the muscles of his back protest at the movement. Dance practice had been tough. Or, well, Jimin had been tough with himself. He was still trying to learn how to relax, be gentler with himself. Taehyung was a good teacher.
“Where did you get all that?”
Taehyung shrugged.
“Here and there. I doubt people would miss…” He looked at the mug with a scrunched-up nose “…whatever that’s supposed to be.”
“Back away, I don’t want to hit you and ruin that handsome face of yours.”
Taehyung hummed but came closer. Jimin arched a questioning eyebrow and his answer came in the form of a back-hug. Taehyung’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist, careful not to be in the way of Jimin’s arms. He pressed his nose against the shell of Jimin’s ear and grinned.
“You can’t hit me here.”
He could, actually. But Jimin wasn’t going to point that out loud and he doubted Taehyung would listen to him anyway. Taehyung’s body was… nice. Very nice. Distracting, too. He was warm and solid and Jimin could feel the rise and fall of his chest. He could feel Taehyung’s heart beating against his back, strong and steady. Jimin swallowed down the saliva accumulated in his mouth, looked down at his hands and tightened his grip on the bat.
Taehyung’s breath hitched. It was a second but he was so close that it was impossible to miss.
Jimin hid a smirk and put himself in position to hit.
“Count to three.”
“One,” Taehyung’s breath caressed Jimin’s neck. Jimin’s skin bristled. “Two… Three!”
Sharp pieces of pink ceramic flew everywhere. The crash was like an explosion on Jimin’s ears, almost drowning the sound of Taehyung’s laugh. Almost, but not quite. Jimin’s heart was beating as if it wanted to escape the confines of his ribcage but he clutched it tightly and forced it to stay in place.
“Fuck, that was awesome,” he laughed, kicking the broken pieces to the side.
“Again!”
The sound of broken glass and two boys laughing filled the night.
They alternated with the bat, sharing kisses from time to time because, according to Taehyung, Jimin looked hot when he was destroying things. Glasses, plates, soju bottles, old phones and small statues, all ended up in pieces and dispersed all over the floor.
Jimin forgot about his sore muscles and the piles of homework waiting for him at home. He shattered his responsibilities along with a flowery bowl, hitting it time and time again until nothing but dust remained.
“You’re so much better at this than me,” said Jimin after seeing Taehyung destroy a flower pot with one smooth swing of the bat.
A soft pink splashed over Taehyung’s cheeks. Jimin couldn’t help but kiss them.
“I, uh, I come here often. When I’m feeling frustrated or angry or when… when I need a little courage.”
“Hm. What’s it this time?”
Taehyung bit his lip, looking like Jimin had caught him red-handed. He moved his weight from a leg to the other and took off his protective glasses. He did the same with Jimin’s, combing Jimin’s hair with one gentle hand before taking the bat from Jimin’s hands and letting it all fall to the floor.
“Wait here.”
Jimin watched him disappear up the stairs.
Nerves and excitement twirled inside his stomach. There was something special about this night.
Jimin walked around the room, inspecting the pieces of glasses under his feet with curiosity. He found a piece of the mug he had broken first and, after a moment of hesitation, he put it in the pocket of his jacket. It felt silly, but he wanted to remember.
He was about to walk away when something caught his attention. It was a photograph whose glass frame had been broken. Maybe from a kick. Jimin recognized Taehyung and his sister. It wasn’t hard to guess who were the other three. Taehyung’s parents and his brother stood behind Taehyung, looking tidy and content. It was the picture of a happy family, but sometimes pictures were just pictures.
Jimin frowned at the smiling faces. Taehyung was younger, maybe ten or so. He was different but Jimin could see the handsome man Taehyung was going to become in a few years hidden under his baby-face. It was his smile that caught Jimin’s attention. Like the rest of him, it was different. It didn’t have that sad tilt that it had now. It looked easy and innocent, a little shy. Jimin’s heart hurt knowing he wasn’t going to see it on Taehyung’s face anytime soon.
Taehyung hadn’t said much about his family, but he had said enough. Jimin didn’t know what had happened to them but he knew that Taehyung was happier now. And he no longer hid bruises.
“Jimin.” Jimin looked up. Taehyung was waiting for him in the middle of the stairs with one hand extended in his direction. “Come.”
Jimin made sure to step on the picture on his way to Taehyung’s hand, the broken glass cracking even further under his shoes. He smiled at Taehyung and took his hand, following him up.
The first thing he saw was the candles. They were…. Everywhere, sprinkled all over the floor.
Taehyung paused. He glanced in Jimin’s direction with uncertainty. Jimin found it hard to look away from the beautiful scene beyond him but he gave Taehyung’s hand a tight squeeze. Taehyung let out a shaky breath and pulled him further. They walked between the candles to the middle of the room where a picnic blanket waited for them.
Jimin chuckled when he saw the snacks, a bottle of soju and two ridiculously fancy champagne bottles. He kissed Taehyung’s red cheek and looked around the room again.
“Oh, Taehyung, the walls.”
The paint was still fresh, of that Jimin was sure. It filled the air with a scent that he had begun to link with comfort, adventures and Taehyung. It was fitting, he thought. It fitted them. They weren’t real roses looking pretty in a glass vase, perfuming the air with its soft scent. They were fake sunflowers on a wall, made of paint and hard work, growing high from the dirty cement.
“Do you like them?”
Jimin let out a laugh.
“Is that even a question? They’re beautiful, Taehyung. I just wish I was here to watch you paint them.”
“I wanted them to be a surprise.”
Jimin nodded, looking around one last time before taking both of Taehyung’s hands in his. His heart was beating like crazy, for some reason. Maybe it was the atmosphere. Maybe it was the way Taehyung kept chewing on his bottom lip. Maybe it was the fact that there were three words stuck in Jimin’s throat, trying to claw their way out of his mouth.
Jimin was fighting against the impulse to blurt them out. It was stupid. It was reckless. They weren’t even boyfriends yet.
“I can see that. Taehyungie… All of this is beautiful.” Jimin cupped Taehyung’s face and pulled him closer until their lips were touching. The tension on Taehyung’s shoulders seemed to vanish after that. His body relaxed against Jimin’s and even a smiled curved the corners of his lips. Jimin pulled away slowly, his eyelashes fluttering. “I just… I feel like… I don’t understand why. What’s special about tonight?”
Taehyung licked his lips and pressed another short kiss on Jimin’s lips.
“Sit with me.”
The picnic blanket was old and thin. Jimin played with the loose threads while Taehyung poured the soju and opened the snacks. Jimin laughed when Taehyung took a sip of his drink and grimaced at the taste, and he laughed even more when Taehyung glared at him.
“You’re adorable. You know that, right?”
“Shut up, Park.”
Jimin munched on a chip while he looked around the room again, taking all in. The sunflowers, the picnic, the fancy glasses, the dozens of scented candles for which Taehyung must have saved for several weeks to buy them. And it hit him, just like that. Why this night felt different, why Taehyung was nervous, why Taehyung had needed a little courage before guiding Jimin here…
“Tae…” he said, watching the way Taehyung’s cheeks were tinted red and he was playing with the hem of his shirt. “Is this a date? An… official date?”
Taehyung’s Adam Apple bobbed. Jimin followed the movement closely, a part of him wondering how it’d feel against his mouth.
“If, If you want.” He looked down at his lap, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. “I was hoping you would.” Jimin was nodding before Taehyung could finish the sentence, but Taehyung wasn’t even looking at him. “I wanted to… to show that it can work. I mean, we. W-we can work. I know it’s not ideal. You deserve so, so much better than this... than m—”
He choked. The thin bubbles of happiness that had begun to explode in Jimin’s stomach suddenly turned into stone.
“Taehyung, what are you talking abo—?”
“But it’s nice, isn’t it?” continued Taehyung as if he hadn’t heard him. His voice was trembling and he still didn’t look at Jimin. “I know it’s not… It can’t compare to a fancy restaurant or a picnic in the park but it’s still romantic and, uh, intimate, right? I wish I could afford more but… It’s still a date, right? You told me you liked fun dates during the day and romantic dates at night. Well… maybe we can’t have day dates but… but we still can have fun in the night, like we just did! And it can be romantic as well. That’s good, right?”
“Yes, but—” Jimin shook his head. He was frowning, trying to make sense to what Taehyung was trying to ask him, what Taehyung was telling him and what he wasn’t. “But, Tae? Why wouldn’t we have dates during the day?”
“Well… You’re starting college soon. You’re going to be busy studying and with dance practice too. I know how important it is to you.”
“Yes, but. Not all day. I already told you that. I’m going to try to not be so hard on myself.”
“You would want to hang out with your new friends. Your old ones would want to spend time with you too. And your family. You’re kind of popular, Park, if you haven’t noticed and I don’t exactly fit in those social circles.”
And oh…. Oh, now Jimin understood.
“Taehyung…” he said, trying to control the anger in his voice. He wasn’t angry at Taehyung, not exactly. Maybe just a little. “Taehyung, do you think I’d be ashamed of dating you?”
There was silence. Jimin hadn’t noticed the night was so quiet until now. Not even when they were walking side by side, enjoying the walk under the stars without disrupting the peace.
Taehyung’s ears were red. Jimin wanted to take him by his shoulders and shake him. Now a lot of things had started to make sense.
“… Wouldn't you?”
“What?!” Jimin’s voice came up louder than he intended. Taehyung flinched but Jimin didn’t have the time to feel guilty about it. “I can’t believe you think that! Why the hell would I be ashamed of being your boyfriend?” Taehyung shot him an exasperated glance, as if the answer was obvious and Jimin was being particularly obtuse. It made Jimin’s blood boil. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m kind of a mess, Park.”
“I told you not to call me that! You…” Jimin let out a bitter laugh. He climbed on Taehyung’s lap—who looked at him with wide eyes and an open mouth—and cupped his face. “You can be so frustrating sometimes. And dumb. For someone so smart, you can be really dumb, Kim Taehyung. I don’t care about… your messes, or whatever you want to call it. Or, I do. I do care because I care about you and I like you. I’ve been dying to ask you to be my boyfriends for weeks! The only thing holding me back was that weird look on your face every time we talked about our future plans or when we laughed and you looked at me as if I was going to disappear out of thin air!”
“I don’t have good experiences with… People don’t stay.” Taehyung tried to look away from Jimin’s eyes but Jimin didn’t let him. He pushed their foreheads together, brushing their noses against each other. “I only have my sister. And somedays I feel like she’s going to leave too. Leave me. You are too important. I lo— I like you, okay? I like you a lot. Too much, maybe. I don’t want to hold you back, but I’m selfish and I want to have you even if… even if it’s like this, even if it’s not enough.”
Jimin swallowed down the lump in his throat. Taehyung’s eyes were so wide, so full of hope and sorrow and tears… Jimin wanted to see them shine with mischief again.
“You silly, silly boy. You don’t hold me back, okay? You make me want to be a better version of myself; a wilder, freer version of me.” Jimin tried to resist it but couldn’t. There was so much he wanted to say, so much they needed to talk, but kissing Taehyung felt like a priority. Taehyung held him so tight that it was hard to breathe but his kisses were still hesitant, as if he was still restraining himself, scared of being too hopeful. Jimin didn’t want that. “Your sister is not going to leave you and I’m not going anywhere either, Taehyungie. You can have me. All of me. Please. Please, have me.”
Taehyung clashed their lips together as hard as he had smashed the glass. Jimin felt himself break in a million pieces, disperse all around the room, becoming dust. He wrapped his legs around Taehyung’s waist and giggled when Taehyung pushed him against the floor. His laugh soon turned into breathy moans when Taehyung parted his lips with his tongue and licked the corners of his mouth.
Fuck waiting till graduation, Jimin was going to devour Taehyung as soon as they found a bed.
“Can I—? Can I really…?”
Have you, he didn’t say.
“For as long as you want me. You have me, Tae.”
Forever, he didn’t say. Not because they were too young to know about forever, not because it sounded too dramatic, too romantic, too much. Taehyung didn’t believe in forever, Jimin was well aware of that. He didn’t need Jimin to choose him one time and forever, he needed Jimin to choose him today and tomorrow and the day after that.
Jimin was planning to choose him every day for the rest of his life.
Slowly, the sun began to go up. Jimin didn’t want to leave the warm cocoon of Taehyung’s arms but his parents weren’t going to be happy if they found out he ran away in the middle of the night to make-out with his boyfriend.
The smile spread through his face before Jimin could stop it. Boyfriend. He liked the sound of that.
They held hands all the way back to Jimin’s house. Jimin grimaced when he realized that he had to climb to his window somehow because he had forgotten the house keys in his room. He sighed, not wanting to let go of Taehyung’s hand just yet.
Taehyung didn’t seem to want to let him go either. He trapped Jimin between his arms with a warm smile. The smile reached his eyes, which was a new discovery. Jimin had seen it grow through the night, slowly but surely, and now it was there, still tentative, still fragile and a little cracked like a piece of broken glass.
Jimin kissed Taehyung’s dark circles under his eyes. He kissed his nose, his forehead, and his cheekbones. Taehyung’s smile was wide and wild by the time Jimin reached his lips. They kissed long and warm until the neighbor’s dog spotted them and began to bark at them.
Taehyung huffed and let go of Jimin. Jimin gave a step towards his house but a sudden thought made him stop. He bit his lip and turned around to look at Taehyung.
“You fit.”
“Uh?”
“With me. With my family.” Taehyung’s eyes widened. He glanced at Jimin’s house timidly, as if he felt he wasn’t allowed to see it. “I told them about you a long time ago. They know I like you. They probably would want you to come for dinner now that we are officially dating. And I would like that too. When you’re ready.”
“Oh.” Taehyung swallowed down. His eyes darted between Jimin and the house, a light frown tensing his features. “I think… Yes. I want that too.”
“You’re not going to disappoint them, or whatever you’re thinking, okay?” Taehyung flushed and tried to look away but Jimin cupped his face between his hands. He pecked Taehyung’s lips, smiling at Taehyung’s apologetic expression. “They don’t care about that. They trust me. They care about me being safe and happy and you make me happy, Kim Taehyung. You make me feel safe, even when we’re doing stupid shit like having a date in an abandoned building.” Taehyung’s chuckle was deep. It traveled all the way down to Jimin’s stomach, sending tingles down his legs and reaching the tip of his toes. He really, really liked Taehyung. “Trust me too, yeah? I know it’s hard for you right now, but I’ll prove it to you. I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.”
“I do.” Taehyung’s hand slid under Jimin’s top. It was a comforting weight on his lower back. “I trust you. You don’t need to prove it.”
“Okay.” Jimin let himself enjoy Taehyung’s warm for a few seconds before disentangling himself from the hug. “See you tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Mhm. I think we have some ugly ceramics stored around somewhere”
Taehyung let out a sharp laugh.
“I’m such a bad influence.”
Jimin rolled his eyes and pressed a last kiss on Taehyung’s lips.
“Believe me, I’m not as good as everyone thinks I am.”
“I can’t wait to find out.”
Another kiss. The last one.
“Until tonight, Tae.”
“Until tonight, flower.”
Then they kissed again, one last time.