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You instantly breathed in the smell of freshly made lattes as you stepped into the small coffee shop, trying anything to calm your nerves. It was quiet apart from the soft sound of music spilling through the speakers on the ceiling at every corner and the hushed murmurs of the few people that sat scattered around. Most had their heads either buried in a book or staring at laptop screens while others were simply enjoying their coffee and pastries, taking a few more peaceful moments to themselves before actually starting their day. For you though, it had always been relaxing and you needed it today more than ever so as soon as you spotted the chalkboard sign on the sidewalk paired with one reading ‘OPEN!’ hanging on the door after dropping your daughter off for her first day of preschool, you couldn’t resist.
You chose a tiny booth by the front window where the early morning sun was shining through perfectly, comfortably warming your skin as soon as you sat on the worn-out leather seat. All you could think about though, was the little girl’s voice, waking you up with a gentle shake to your shoulders before slipping beneath the covers next to you.
—- flashback.
“Mommy! Momma, wake up!” Her tiny 4-year old figure cuddled deeper into your side.
“Mia, sweets. It’s too early to be screaming,” you said sleepily, still groggy from the not-so rude awakening as you brushed a few messy curls out of her face, gazing down at your daughter with tired eyes.
You really hadn’t gotten much sleep. It was like all your anxiety had been saved, building up for this day in particular and you’d been up all night worrying. You just couldn’t believe how fast Mia had grown up. It was too fast and you wanted time to stop... or at least just slow down a little bit.
“But I have to get ready for school!”
She had been so excited, spending nearly every day preparing, which included her very own classroom set up in her bedroom, most of the students being her favorite stuffed animals and little blocks scattered all over the floor when she used them to practice counting.
You sighed shortly, not wanting Mia to see any trace of distress or sadness on your face so you closed your eyes again and leaned down to kiss her forehead, “That’s right! Do you know what you want to wear?”
Mia was only four, but she had an incredible sense of style. She absolutely loved putting together her own outfits, even taking the time to match colors, some that she couldn’t even pronounce properly yet. “Just like you!” She would always say, making you feel all warm inside.
Her little hands reached up for the new shirt you had bought her a few days before. It was sparkly, causing glitter to rub off on her skin which was exactly why she loved it so much.
Mia grinned, showing off her dimples as her cheeks caved in and she bounced off the bed to run back to her room. You waited and soon enough she came back, dressed in the exact pink shirt with ruffles on the sleeves and glitter falling in a trail on the floor.
“I- Is this okay?”
You finally decided to get out of bed, not able to put this moment off any longer no matter how much you wished you could. “It’s perfect, Mimi.”
Giggling, you scooped her up into your arms so easily, making her shriek of laughter echo throughout your tiny apartment.
—- end flashback.
Getting up and making sure Mia was ready was one thing, it took all the energy you had to get yourself ready and you still weren’t when you finally walked out the door. You didn’t think you ever would be, but you got to this moment alone. You raised this perfect, beautiful little girl alone, and if Mia was ready, then you were too.
That didn’t mean you couldn’t go sit alone at a random coffee shop at eight thirty in the morning, though.
Right?
You were allowed to wallow over a large vanilla macchiato because you already missed your little girl and it hadn’t even been fifteen minutes since you left her classroom. Except that you completely forgot to order and probably looked insane just staring out the window, hair up in a messy bun because you couldn’t be bothered to do anything else with it. You were shocked that you managed to throw together a decent outfit and only wiped a single coat of foundation on your face, knowing you would probably cry off anything else.
So lost in your thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed that half of the people that were there when you arrived were now gone and the song that was playing had changed to one you knew by heart. You let yourself breathe, really breathe, for the first time since you woke up.
“Excuse me, miss. Is everything alright?”
You quickly looked up into a pair of soft brown eyes, the color of the drink you wished was in your hand, which would be if you had been paying attention. You also would have known that those same eyes had been stuck on you the second you made the bell above the entrance door ring.
“What?” It was all you could think to say, far too busy noticing the thick English accent saturating his tone and getting lost in the sweet chocolate of his eyes even though you typically stuck to vanilla —- it was safe but also very underrated and just... good. Yet here you were.
The stranger laughed and it sounded better than your favorite song that was still playing and you didn’t think that would ever happen again.
“I just- I mean, I was watching you and…” his eyes grew wide, “God, no, not watching you, that’s creepy and I swear I’m not-” he stopped abruptly, sighing as his cheeks turned a bright shade of red and for the first time that morning, you genuinely laughed, and not like the short chuckle that stops before it really starts. No. You were laughing hard and you knew you had to stop because you probably looked like an idiot but couldn’t. Every mixed emotion you had kept in for the sake of keeping Mia happy, was spilling out between giggles and tears and this guy? He was beautiful and you were making a complete fool of yourself but he didn’t look angry or hurt or utterly mortified, even though you definitely were. He was just smiling.
“I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. I’m kind of all over the place,” you explained. He shook his head, still grinning in a way that made the tiniest wrinkles by his eyes visible.
“You don’t have to apologize. You have a lovely laugh.”
“Thank you…” You hinted at him for a name.
“Tom.”
He stuck his hand out which you instantly took, noticing how soft his skin was and how your fingers accidentally slipped —- perfectly -— between his when you pulled away. The next thing you noticed, was the white v-neck tee he had on that was a bit too tight around his arms and torso and the black apron tied around his waist.
“I’m Y/N. Do you work here, Tom?”
Obviously, but it was like he had forgotten. He muttered under his breath, a slew of short curses, because fuck, he does and he also had a very impatient line starting to form at the counter.
“Yes. Right now I wish I didn’t but yes. Uhh…” His hand came up to scratch nervously at the back of his neck, the glimmer of the watch on his wrist catching in the sunlight, “Are you staying for awhile?”
It was a simple question. Your answer was just as simple but it was also complicated. When he asked, your heart felt like it had stopped completely and you got those pesky butterflies in your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a very long time, almost five years and you immediately wanted to keep the cage up that you had built around your heart. It was the armor that made sure no one else could break in and damage it. Mia was the only exception and had been from the day she was born, but there was something about him that, already, made you want to tear it down. Maybe it was the smile, which literally made his entire face seem to light up as it grew. Perhaps it was his hair, brown just like his eyes and short with the exception of one unruly curl that kept falling out of place and scraped across his forehead. Or, and maybe it was just everything, but it could be that he was the first person to ask if you were okay in awhile and that alone was enough for you to let him past the iron bars that had shielded you for years.
“Do you want me to stay?” You smiled, hoping more than anything that his answer would be yes.
“I do.”
“Then I’ll stay. On one condition…”
“What’s that?” Tom smirked, his left eyebrow, which was sticking up out of place at the arch, raised as he waited. He kept looking back at the growing line and you knew you couldn’t keep him much longer, at least for now.
“Make me your favorite drink.” You figured if you were about to let someone new into your heart, and potentially Mia’s, that you needed a change in all aspects. Starting with your drink order.
“What if you don’t like it?” As he started to walk backwards, his foot caught on one of the nearby chairs, making him stumble before he got ahold of another to keep his balance.
You laughed again, this time short and sweet and glad you weren’t the only one who already seemed to be completely and hopelessly smitten.
“Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”