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“You don’t have to do this,” Deana cried and tears formed in her eyes. Cassandra did not answer, but just turned her glance down as Deana put her warm hand on Cassandra’s cheek. Deana brushed Cassandra’s hair back behind her ear from where it fell.
“Cas, please,” she said, her voice breaking on the last word.
“You know I do,” Cassandra replied, well hiding her crying in her voice as she said it.
“Don’t go back out on those streets again,” Deana pleaded Cassandra. Cassandra was silent. The tears were slowly forming in her eyes, making the other girl's face a bit blurry. She blinked a few times.
“You don’t have to wear that dress.” A single tear rolled down Deana’s cheek. The floor was hard and cold against her jeans-covered knees, and she could only imagine how Cassandras bare knees felt. Numb, probably. Like the rest of Cassandra.
Always numb, always silent. Until now.
“You don’t know what it’s like,” Cassandra finally retorted, slapping Deana hand away from her cheek. With tear stained cheeks she weakly stood up, accidentally knocking over an empty liquor bottle.
Cassandra doubted she could keep on going. Deana refused to give up.
This was not simple.
This was a million aspects being pushed, pressed, squeezed into a far too small frame. Cassandras felt her head was almost exploding.
What drives you? What keeps you going? How do you get out of your bed in the morning? How do you put one foot in front of the other? All questions, going through the head of Deana. All questions, wondered of before. All questions, never answered.
Deana suddenly became observant on her own hands, placed in her own lap. The white nail polish, half chipped off on the left hand. No nail polish on the right hand. As a right-handed, Deana never bothered to lay the nail polish with her left hand.
“No, I don’t, and I’ll probably never know. I can only imagine and guess,” Deana said going through a line of emotions. Sad, worried, angry. One right after the other and then at last; all three at the same time, burning inside of her like a raging fire.
Her voice grew stronger as she spoke her thoughts.
“But Cassandra, I do know at least one thing. I love you. And as long as I’m in your life I will do anything in my power to keep you from selling yourself.”
Cassandra’s cheeks were all numb and cold from her salty tears, silently running down them. But now she was all empty of tears. Or so she thought.
As Deana poured her feelings over Cassandra, Deana grew strong in her faith. Cassandra, who never knew that kind of mutual love, was back on the verge of tears. Deana stood up and, tense in her shoulders, arms fist, and the rest of her body.
“Cassandra, as long as I’m yours you will not, turn on that red light! As long as you’re mine you will not walk these streets for money! You don't ever have to listen to strangers, calling you by that name ever again. Angel is not your name any more and will never be again.” Deana took a step closer. Cassandra hid her face in her hands.
“I will keep you safe, warm and happy, as much as I can.”
Deana took Cassandras left hand in her own and slowly, carefully raised it to her lips. Cassandra looked into Deana’s eyes, as she kissed Cassandra’s fingers one by one, with only one eye, since Cassandra’s right hand was still covering the other.
“What’s the catch?” Cassandra asked with a hoarse voice, believing there was a catch, on background of always being promised the world, by people who could not give it to her.
“You, loving me back.” Deana paused. Their breaths in unison. Chest rising. Chest falling. Breath in. Breath out.
“And holding me at night, just as I will hold you.” Deana continued, mumbling into Cassandra’s hand, but Cassandra had no problem making every word out of it.
“No strangers’ beds. No cold nights on streets in short dresses. Those days are over.”
Cassandra’s eyes wet again. She closed the gap between their bodies in a matter of split seconds, and crashed her lips into Deana’s. Deana was at first taken by surprise, but immediately she returned Cassandra’s kiss.
“I know I can do that,” Cassandra said to Deana and their lips collided once again.
And for the first time, in what for both of them seemed to be forever, they felt happiness, love and a burning passion.