Work Text:
Jason likes Tim. Likes likes him, as much as that makes him feel like a sixth grader. But he thinks that Tim's incredible. He's amazingly smart and talented, and there's nothing more that Jason likes to do than watch Tim hard at work on a case, fingers furiously typing as his eyes dart on the screen, and then the brilliant smile when the puzzles fall into place. When Tim thinks something's funny, his eyes crinkle up at the corners and his hand comes up to cover his mouth, like he doesn't want the world to see that gorgeous smile. When Tim falls asleep, he always curls up in a small ball, his hands underneath his head and his face looks the closest to peaceful that Jason usually sees him.
Okay, Jason might be in love with him. And he thinks that Tim has a crush on him as well, because Tim always seems to find a reason to hang out with Jason after a mission. He always brings over pizza. He always asks Jason how he's feeling. He's kind and good and he makes Jason feel special. So this is why the first mission that Jason can feasibly use to ask him on a "date," he does.
He has an idea all formed in his mind. He and Tim have been dating for two years and five months. Jason had asked Tim on a date two hours after they first met, which was a trip to the art museum and then a date at a Japanese restaurant. They had kissed at the end of it. Right now, they were talking about getting married and having kids. Jason remembers that Tim mentioned wanting to carry kids, so that's part of it as well. They're trying, so Tim can't drink alcohol, so no one will think anything of him not drinking.
He's imagining proposing to Tim, because that's what his cover is thinking about doing. It'll be at the art museum, the scene of their first date. It'll be in front of Klimt's The Kiss. It'll be romantic as shit, and they'll both cry. Tim's going to love the ring, and Jason will love his smile and all will be right in the world.
He hands all this and more to Tim, because he knows that Tim likes order and presentation and this will make him impressed. He'll look at Jason with a little surprise in his eyes, flickering with joy, and he'll smile at Jason and Jason will carry that look and that smile with him for a week, probably longer. And then he thinks about how this mission will bring them closer together, and Jason can kiss him. He can kiss him and feel how Tim's smaller body presses against him, and Jason will know what true happiness is.
And it all starts here.
*
"This looks really good," Tim murmurs, flicking through the folder. "We'll definitely be able to pull this off without a problem."
Jason does his best not to appear too eager, because he doesn't want to appear too desperate in front of Tim. Even though he is, he doesn't want to give those vibes off.
He knows it's still easy to tell, but he wants some sort of plausible deniability.
He slaps his palms on his legs, wincing at how sweaty they feel. This is bad.
Tim looks up at Jason, smiling at him, and Jason's heart skips a beat. How is one man so pretty? Jason smiles back at him, hoping that he doesn't look completely ugly. He sits up straighter, rolling back his shoulders. He sees Tim's eyes flicker down to his shoulders, and he can't help but let satisfaction fill him. He remembers overhearing Tim mentioning once that he likes broad shoulders on an alpha, and while Jason isn't an alpha, he thinks that his shoulders are broad enough to appeal to Tim.
"So in three days?" Tim asks, raising an eyebrow. "That should give us more than enough time."
"Y-yeah," Jason mumbles. "I mean, we can use the time to get comfortable with each other."
Tim laughs, and it sounds like a bell. "Come on, Jay. We already know each other. Don't worry, we'll be fine."
He doesn't know how to get the words out. That he doesn't want to do this so they'll get comfortable with each other, but that so he gets up the courage to tell Tim how he truly feels. The words get stuck in his throat, and he watches Tim get up from the couch and leave his apartment, Jason's heart sinking low.
*
But of course, Tim's right. With no practice at all on how to act like a couple, Tim falls into the role easily.
Jason, less so.
He keeps looking over at Tim, and he's convinced that somehow he's going to blunder this up by wearing his feelings on his sleeve. He stands next to Tim, wraps an arm around his waist to hold close, and Jason can't pay the full attention he needs to on the targets because all he can focus on is how warm Tim is, how good he smells. He wonders why he has to be like this, why he has to have this problem, when Tim can do this so easily.
It's probably because Tim was born into this world, but it doesn't matter. Jason feels swept up in his light and energy. His intelligence and the way he can match the upper-crust in Gotham word for word, and how he can smile and flirt with all the alphas, natural confidence shining out of him while Jason's left with nothing more than nervous energy and a sickly smile.
He wonders if there's any hope for Tim ever liking him, or if that dream should be considered dead and buried.
It doesn't help the fact that Dick ended up at this gala as well, brought here on the same mission, but Jason didn't realize he was working it. He falls in place next to Tim, the two of them doing more to make these people trust them and lay the groundwork to take them all down more than Jason ever could. He feels useless next to them, and they look like they have this all figured out.
But he still hangs on hope that he can tell Tim how he feels tonight. How every time Tim laughs or smiles, Jason's heart feels like it grows three sizes. How Tim makes him feel like he can be a better man. How Tim feels like home.
He can do it.
Jason has faith in himself.
He grabs two flutes of campaign before he starts to look for Tim, his hands shaking, but hopeful that he can look cool enough to confess his love.
It's probably going to be a trainwreck, but Jason just hopes that he can force it out.
He last saw Tim with Dick, the two of them charming the pants off some ambassador, and Jason just hopes that he can shake off Dick so he and Tim can have some alone time.
He doesn't see either of them, but someone informs him that they went outside, so Jason follows, his palms sweaty and his heart beating loud. His eyes scan the garden, desperately looking for any sign of Tim.
He hears him before he sees him.
Laughing at something that Dick's saying, and Jason smiles, getting ready to ask what's so funny.
And then he does see him.
In Dick's arms, pressed up against a wall, arms thrown around Dick's neck while Dick holds him in his arms, the alpha's strength clear and Tim pressing a kiss to Dick's lips and not even a second has gone by before Jason's vision fills with tears.
Tim is with Dick.
Of course, Tim is with Dick.
Dick's an alpha. He's tall and broad and he has an amazing smile and gives great hugs and you never feel more important than when he's looking at you, listening and nodding his head. Dick is what every alpha wants to be, he's who Jason's wanted to be for years. And why should Tim be with Jason when he can have someone so much better?
They haven't noticed him, they haven't noticed him as they kiss and laugh and just be in love. Jason is left out of this, left out of this happiness like he always is.
He backs away, dropping the champagne glasses and running away as fast as he can, refusing to look behind him when he hears the yelps and gasps of Dick and Tim as they notice him, pushing himself farther and farther until he's somewhere else on the grounds of this humongous mansion, where Jason can slide into a corner. He pushes the heel of his palms into his eyes in a desperate attempt to stop the tears from flowing, but he can't make them stop. His chest feels like rocks are settling into it, and his throat is choking him. He's sure that Dick and Tim are looking for him, but he does not want to see them.
Not yet, not until he has time to compose himself and force himself to be happy for them.
He has no idea how long that's going to take, but he's going to get there.
Right?
It feels like hours before Jason calms himself down enough to stand up, brush the dirt off his suit, and force a smile to his face so he can tell Dick and Tim how happy he is for them, how he had just been exposed to Ivy's emotion pollen yesterday and it didn't wear off like he thought he had.
He can pretend like this isn't a problem.