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“You missed.”
The words still rang in her ears. She had watched as Thor took his shot, her heart in her throat as she had hoped he would end it all… Only to see Thanos raise his hand and snap his fingers.
In horror, she slowly realised that people around her were disappearing. She watched as T’Challa faded away into nothingness. And then Wanda… And Bucky…
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Hermione clenched her hands, her nails digging into the palm of her hand. She wanted to cry out… yell, scream… something… anything…
She had always heard rumours that soulmates excited. She didn’t put much thought into the idea as she wasn’t one for the mystical arts. Soulmates were something that girls that Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil believed in… Not her, Hermione Granger, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. and liaison for M.A.C.U.S.A.
But as she had watched him disintegrate in front of her, she held felt the truth go through her like lightning striking her core.
Bucky was her soulmate. It was a moment of clarity that was suddenly followed by intense grief and mourning.
To lose so many friends at once, and the war, had been disheartening… But then to realise what could have been moments later shattered her heart in ways that she hadn’t known possible.
Images of what could have been filled her mind… She had liked Bucky, and if she had known he was her soulmate before he had died, she would have made her move on him. He was attractive, loyal, hard-working… Everything she had wanted in a partner.
But that’s not how it worked. She didn’t know who her soulmate was until it was too late. Fate was cruel that way. She had never heard anyone say that’s how it worked, but she imaged that no one would to share that type of pain with the world.
She could see herself loving Bucky… James... She could have seen herself growing old with him…
But of course, none of that mattered now…
She dug her nails even further into her hand, drawing blood. She bit her lip to keep from crying out… Everyone was mourning right now - not just her. The realisation of what could have been just made the pain so much worse.
“Are you okay?”
Looking up, Hermione saw Natasha standing in the doorway. She looked just as bad as Hermione felt. Like they had both been crying for the last twenty-four hours.
“No,” Hermione said, her hands shaking.
Natasha came in and joined Hermione on the bed. Reaching out, she took Hermione’s hands and gently unclenched them. Gently, she took them into her own and then held them tightly. “I know,” she said, her own voice breaking.
“I didn’t know,” Hermione whispered, her voice cracking. “I… I wish I never knew.”
“Fate is cruel that way,” Natasha said quietly. “To give you a glimpse of what could have been before taking it away.”
“It makes all of this hurt so much more,” Hermione admitted.
“Have you called your family back home?” Natasha asked.
Sniffling, Hermione nodded. “Ron and Harry are okay, and so are my parents. Ron lost two of his brothers, but we’re lucky that’s all that happened.”
“You should go home to them,” Natasha said gently.
“I can’t,” Hermione said, shaking her head. “We failed, Nat… ” Hermione’s voice cracked as the tears finally started flowing.
Natasha quickly pulled Hermione into her arms, hugging her tightly. “Shhh,” she said, squeezing her. “I know.”
Hermione sobbed against Natasha, letting out all the anguish she had been trying to hold back. “If we had stopped Thanos, none of this would have happened,” Hermione cried.
“We tried,” Natasha said. “We tried.”
“But it wasn’t enough… We weren’t enough,” Hermione said, shaking her head. “We let everyone down… I can’t go home and face them after this… Knowing that if we had acted differently, we could have saved millions of lives.”
Natasha cupped Hermione’s cheek. “Milaya, it will be okay,” she whispered lovingly.
“How can you say that?” Hermione asked, clearing her throat as she tried to calm herself down.
“Because it has to be,” Natasha told her firmly. “The sun will still set and rise, just as it always has.”
“But-”
“Shhh,” Natasha said. “We will wake up every morning, like we always do, and we will continue to make the world a better place.”
“But-”
“No more buts,” Natasha said firmly. “We need to try and keep this world from falling into chaos.”
“How?” Hermione asked. When Natasha glared at her, she grinned. “It’s a how question, not a but statement.”
“Touche,” Natasha said, shaking her head. “Cheeky witch.”
“Stubborn Russian,” Hermione countered.
“But, milaya, as I was saying, we will do our best to see what’s left of S.H.I.E.L.D. and help in any way possible. We’re taking our time to grieve, but come tomorrow; Steve is organising a meeting with the survivors.”
“That sounds so…” She trailed off, not quite sure to say. She didn’t think of herself as a survivor, even though that’s technically what we are.
“The world needs us now, more than ever, Hermione. Will you rise to answer that call?” Natasha asked, looking her deep in the eye.
Hermione saw her own pain reflected in Natasha’s gaze, but she knew in heart that Nat was right. They had to push forward and be there for the rest of the world. That was part of the oath she had taken when she was inducted into S.H.I.E.L.D.
And as she thought of Bucky, she knew he would have wanted her to continue to fight. He wouldn’t want her to wallow in her despair. He’d want her to push on and finish what they had started.
“Thanos will pay,” Hermione said quietly. “Somehow, someway, we’ll make him pay for what he’s done.”
Natasha grinned slowly, squeezing Hermione’s hands reassuringly. “That’s my girl.”