Work Text:
Rolling in the deep
FATHER appeared in the room tightly cloaked and invisible just in time to witness Raphael's death.
HE stopped time after Castiel declared himself the new God. Even though these events had unfolded with an unsurprising accuracy but HIS heart was heavy with concern. The delicate choices made within the next few moments would shape the future.
Crowley's long range plan had yielded the expected bitter fruit. Crowley had given Castiel 50,000 of the most depraved demon souls in Hell to fight Raphael. It was only the strength and beauty of Castiel's spirit that had kept those souls in check for as long as he had.
HE smiled briefly at the brightness of the three human souls in the bloody room. Fear permeated the room, but each human feared more FOR the welfare of the others than fear for themselves. FATHER peaked into the souls of each briefly as they remained frozen and unaware of his presence.
Bobby struggled to to stay focused. His mind replayed his friend's death in the alley. The older hunter was deeply worried about Dean. He could almost see Dean's quiet rage and almost hear the clicks as internal arguments fell into place in Dean's mind as he thought about killing Castiel. Killing his friend. Bobby didn't want to think of the emotional damage Dean would suffer If he survived killing Cas. Would there even be any pieces to pick up? And Sam? How could he still be standing and functioning with all of his memories of Hell?
HE peeked into Sam's soul next. Sam's strength, his will to protect his brother in the face of his own mental battle, was impressive. This single minded drive was the only thing that kept Sam on his feet. It was the only thing that kept Sam from retreating into himself and hiding from Hell's memories in the safety of a catatonic state.
Dean's soul, on the other hand, was a mass of festering, killing rage circling around the same thoughts. (played like a fool . . . you gonna wish you had left me in Hell . . . ) The depth of his anger at Cas could easily poison his soul and darken his soul forever. His anger was also directed at himself. He had failed to protect the people he cared about. Again. The vein in Dean's neck jumped rapidly, like a boxer holding himself in check until the bell rang.
FATHER looked deeper still. Beneath Dean's anger was something else that waited to be fanned into blazing life. Something buried so deeply that only God himself could see what was there. The depth of Dean's anger was matched the depth of his love for his friend.
HE withdrew from Dean's soul and paused.
Invisibly, HE stood next to Dean and sorted through possible outcomes of this scenario. In one possible future, Dean was successful in killing Castiel and spent the rest of his life shattered and comatose. In another, he saw that Dean's actions could lead to something even worse than the Apocalypse. And in another possible version of history, Dean bowed down and worshiped Castiel (yet later found a way to kill him). Everything depended on Dean.
Ah. Showtime.
HE let time resume it's normal course for Sam, Dean and Bobby.
At that moment, Bobby felt a burning under his shirt. He reached into his shirt and brought Dean's amulet out to lay on top of the cloth.
It glowed.
FATHER knew that Sam had rescued the amulet from the motel trash can. Sam gave Bobby the amulet for safe keeping before going to Detroit to say Yes to Lucifer. Afterward, Sam without a soul had never wanted it back.
Dean's jaw dropped literally. Seeing the amulet around Bobby's neck distracted him from thoughts of killing Cas. His hazel eyes quickly circled the bloody, almost empty room. Sam, Dean and Bobby formed a 3 sided circle facing outward. Each could protect the other. Each held a different (and probably useless) weapon. They were willing to take on anything. Dean looked around the bloody, otherwise empty room wondering about their invisible visitor. Castiel was still frozen in place and was unaware of anything happening around him.
“Alright. Show yourself. Who ever or what ever you are.” Dean had never been more frightened in his life, but none of it showed on his face.
Chuck appeared next to Bobby who turned quickly to face the being who had appeared out of thin air. The amulet glowed even brighter. Bobby had never met Chuck and turned a skeptical eye to HIM.
“God's a short dude who needs a shave?”
“It's just a temporary vessel.” Chuck was not offended by Bobby's comment.
Chuck turned to face Dean squarely and look directly into his eyes.
“Dean. What do you think will happen to all to the monster souls when you kill Castiel?”
Dean blinked a few times and refused to answer.
“Yes, you know the answer. Those millions of monster souls would flood over the face of the Earth. IF you kill Castiel, you personally will be responsible for the death of every human being on the face of the Earth.”
The man who faced Lucifer at Stull Cemetery paled at the weight placed once again on his shoulders.
“Think about your choices.”
Dean took a long moment weigh his options.
Yes, that son of a bitch angel had lied to me, tore down Sam's wall, left Sam's soul in the cage with Lucifer, worked with Crowley behind the scenes to get the Purgatory souls for himself, killed Dr. Visyak, probably a lot more crap I don't know about. How am I supposed to forgive him?
FATHER could only point out the problems. It was up to Dean to made his own choices.
Dean looked to Sam and Bobby. They stood silent. There wasn't anything they could say to fix this mess for him.
Suddenly Dean remembered Bobby's quietly swallowed rage when he and Sam had shown up at Bobby's after Sam's death. When they were finally alone Bobby had been quick to tear him a new one. Eventually Bobby and Sam had forgiven Dean for his deal with the crossroads demon. Just as Dean had eventually forgiven Sam for him choosing Ruby over him and drinking demon blood. It had been much easier to forgive Sam for breaking the last seal since Dean admitted that he had broken the first. Neither of them knew what the consequences would be at the moment they made their fatal decisions.
Neither did Cas.
The weight on Dean's soul eased an infinitesimal amount as he thought more about Castiel's choices.
He didn't know what would follow his original choice.
Dean's rage now subsided to a low simmer. FATHER could feel the small change in Dean's soul.
“ Deep down somewhere in that swarm of souls, Castiel, your Cas, is still there. If you can reach him.”
As FATHER spoke, Dean walked across the room and stood nose to nose with Castiel, still frozen in time. He looked deeply into Castiel's unblinking blue eyes.
Snapshots of Castiel uncoiled in Dean's mind: Castiel walking through a hail of gunfire in the barn, Castiel sitting on a park bench admitting he had doubts about his orders, Castiel bending the rules to give him a hint how to use the Prophet to interrupt the Sam & Lilith love connection. Dean remembered his shock and admiration as Castiel cut a sigil into his own flesh before facing down five angels during Adam's rescue. He remembered Castiel yelling “Assbut” to Michael before throwing the Molotov. Dean remembered that his heart broke a little as Lucifer executed Castiel.
In an instant, Dean's hazel eyes went from dark and shadowed to brighter. Dean looked at Sam and Bobby and just nodded to them. Bobby let out his breath and breathed a prayer of thanksgiving. Dean had let go of the killing anger. He smiled back at Dean. Dean looked from Bobby's eyes to the amulet on his chest. An amulet to find God. It had worked.
Now if only this thing could help me find Cas. Dean chuckled as the beginning of a plan ghosted through his mind.
Dean prayed his plan silently to Chuck. Help me reach Cas. Please.
HE appeared to consider the implications of the plan and then nodded Dean.
As FATHER removed the amulet from Bobby's neck and placed it around Dean's neck, HE told Dean a bit more about the item.
“Did you know this piece has a name? In Enochian it's called Menoch Zahn, which translates as The Sorter.”
Dean nodded his thanks for the useless piece of trivia. He walked closer and closer to Castiel until Dean's spirit melted into the vessel of the former angel.
- - - - - - - - -
Once inside of Cas, Dean found nothing but the walls of a long dark tunnel. He followed it until he came to a small, dim alcove lit by what seemed to be four candles.
Even though Dean didn't really have a body, he mentally blinked and rubbed his eyes to clear his vision. When he looked again, he saw Cas as well as a familiar man, a dog and Lenore.
“So, you're finally asking for help. Better late than never, my friend.” Cas was still dressed in suit, tie and trench coat within the privacy of his own mind. Castiel seemed stunned into silence at the miracle of Dean being inside of him.
Dean stepped closer to get a batter look at Castiel's allies. “Jack Montgomery, right? The monster with a pregnant wife.” The man who had once been a rougarou nodded.
“It might seem like a strange thing to say, but thanks for killing me. I didn't want to live like that.” Jack hesitated before asking a question. “How's my wife?”
“Fine. The last I heard she had changed her name and left town. We kept tabs on her for a while. Started a new life somewhere else.” The man nodded again with resignation. Dean patted the dog and scratched his ears.
“Hello, Lucky. Chased one too many cars?'” The dog barked a short laugh.
“Lenore, I am so sorry you died.”
“Don't be. I found peace. Well, it was peaceful until he opened the door,” Lenore teased Castiel.
Castiel shook his head at Dean. He finally found his voice.
“How did you get in here? And why? It's dangerous, Dean. We might fail and you'll be destroyed along with us. Along with any souls that resist The Committee.”
“The Committee?”
“That's what I call the ruling body of evil monster souls. They took control of me the instant I completed the ritual.”
Castiel paused, shame clearly on his face as he looked down for a moment. Finally he looked Dean straight in the eyes.
“I'm sorry. I didn't come to you, didn't ask you for help. I am truly sorry about tearing Sam's wall down to distract you. And I am sorry that Bobby was put in danger from Sam without his soul.”
“We'll talk about all that later, bro.” Dean tilted his head bird style like Cas used to and gave a tiny smile. Let's take on The Committee.”
All eyes in the room turned to Dean as he gave them a pep talk.
“You know what they say about committees. Together they have more assholes than brains.”
Jack chuckled and smiled at Lenore. Lucky's tail beat the floor in a steady, joyous rhythm.
When Castiel stepped closer to Dean, he noticed the amulet around Dean's neck.
“I thought you lost this?”
“No, actually I threw it away but Sam and Bobby kept it safe for me.” Dean paused. “Someone told me that this thing actually has a name. Menoch Zahn. It translates as The Sorter.”
Castiel's blue eyes grew impossibly big as he heard Dean speak an important Enochian spell. He stepped even closer to Dean, deeply into Dean's personal space and cradled the amulet in his hands gently. Castiel repeated the simple Enochian phrase, Menoch Zahn.
The last thing Dean remembered before he blacked out was an intense white light and teeth rattling vibration. Then Dean lost consciousness for a few minutes as the world inside of Castiel dissolved in a blinding flash.
Castiel, however, remained awake and aware of The Sorter's effect on the Purgatory souls within him. The good monster souls were joyously uplifted to Heaven and Castiel momentarily shared their wonderment and joy. But Castiel also felt every death as evil monster souls screamed their way into nothingness. A part of him wanted to die as well.
When the dust cleared from Dean's mind, he found himself in his own body on the bloody concrete floor covered by Sam's jacket. Dean smiled reassurance to Sam and Bobby and stumbled closer to Castiel, still standing immobile like an insect trapped in amber.
“Come on, Princess. Time to wake up.”
Chuck had waited with Sam and Bobby for the few minutes Dean had been inside of Castiel.
“Castiel. Come back to yourself.” He spoke in a firm, powerful voice.
Slowly Castiel started to come back to life. Immediately, he sensed HIS presence. At that moment, Castiel only had eyes for Chuck. There was no trace of surprise in his somber, penitent blue eyes
“I am sorry, FATHER. For everything. If you wish to destroy me, I accept your will.”
Chuck shook his head. “How can you ever learn anything if I kill you?”
“What is your will, Father?”
“What has my will always been?”
Castiel paused for a moment in confusion and then the answer seemed obvious.
“Keep working on the love.”
Chuck nodded and vanished.
“Now what?” Dean asked.
“We try,” Castiel replied with an almost human smile.