Work Text:
Sister,
I apologize that I am not speaking to you in person. I had been hoping to have the courage to face you by Valentine’s Day. It is a day where you’re supposed to be with the one you love, but I fear that you will be disappointed by me. I know it is selfish of me to ask, and I understand if you’ve already been won over by someone else, but I would be honored if you would consider me your Valentine. Just knowing you are thinking of me today is more than I could ever ask for.
All my love,
Your Cyrano
Fae read the letter over for the third time, holding the rose that came with it in her other hand. She had been getting notes from this ‘Cyrano’ for the past few weeks and it confused her. She had never had a secret admirer before. She spoke to so few people in the church that she didn’t have any idea of who it could be. She was bursting with curiosity, but if this person didn’t feel comfortable enough to approach her, she wasn’t going to hunt them down. Still, it was a very sweet thought...
“A Valentine, Sister?”
Fae scrambled out of her stool onto her feet, hiding the rose and letter behind her back. Cardinal Copia stood politely in the door frame of her workshop in his red cassock. It was the same shade as the flush on her face.
“Y-yes, I suppose.” Fae stammered. “Can I help you, Cardinal?” She realized that she was acting childish by hiding what was in her hands, she put the rose down on her table before turning to open a drawer that held all of Cyrano’s previous letters.
“One of many, it seems.” Copia crossed the threshold into the room and eyed the drawer stuffed full of papers.
“N-no, it’s not like that at all.” Fae hastily closed the drawer and turned to face Copia, cautiously leaning back against her desk so that he couldn’t snoop further.
“Oh?” The Cardinal’s eyes were full of childish curiosity. “I figured someone like you would have multiple suitors vying for your attention.”
“That’s very nice of you to say, Cardinal.” Fae said politely. “But I don’t really speak to anyone. I am surprised I caught anyone’s eye at all.”
“Then what were the rest of those papers?” Fae stammered for a second before looking down at her shoes. Realizing he overstepped his bounds, Copia took a step back and looked away, thumbs twiddling anxiously. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” he muttered awkwardly. “I was being nosy. I’m sorry.”
“No, no, you’re fine.” Fae looked up at him and tried to sound reassuring. “I just don’t know how to explain...” Fae was silent for a moment, chewing on her lip, before she turned back around and opened the drawer. She dug to the bottom and scooped up the stack, flipping through the letters, looking for a specific one.
“I’ve been getting these for a while... One or two a week.” She explained as her eyes scanned each page.
“A secret admirer?” Copia questioned.
“I guess so,” Fae nodded before producing the particular letter she was looking for and presented it to Copia. “It started when I found this slipped under the door to my workshop last month.”
Sister,
I saw you yesterday, sitting on a bench outside the church and looking off into the woods as the sun was setting. You were just as beautiful as the colors in the darkening sky, but your eyes held such sadness it made my heart ache. Were you upset? Had something happened? I am sorry that I didn’t have the nerve to approach you and ask.
I have wanted to speak to you for so long, but you seem so far out of my reach that I have never dared. But I couldn’t stand to see you looking so forlorn. Forgive my brazenness, but you seem to be so lonely, Sister. I pray that isn’t the case, but if so I hope I can help. I am not quite ready to reveal myself, but you may write me back, if you wish. At any time. Just leave a note under that bench by the forest. I will reply as quickly as I can. If you do not wish to correspond with a stranger, that is understandable. I hope that you at least take comfort in knowing someone here cares about you.
Sincerely,
Cyrano
“Did you reply?” Copia asked once he was finished reading.
“Yes,” Fae nodded. “Just something short, thanking them for writing to me. I was actually very upset that day, so it was nice to know someone cared. I didn’t expect a response for a while, but they started replying straight away. Even if I didn’t respond, I’d still get a letter under my shop door every few days.”
“Does this make you uncomfortable, Sister?” The Cardinal asked cautiously. “Should I try to find out who this person is?”
“No,” Fae shook her head. “To both.” Her hands clasped together at her stomach and she turned her head to look out a nearby window. “I’ve never had an admirer before,” she admitted, cheeks turning pink. “And I don’t want to force them out of hiding. They’ve already been so kind to me.”
“So you haven’t tried to find them at all?”
“I tried for a bit.” Fae shrugged. “I looked for a Cyrano in the church, but then I realized his pen name was referencing a story. Do you know it?” Fae turned her face to Copia, her head quirked slightly to the side in question.
“I can’t say I do, Sister.” Copia mumbled, looking shyly down at the letter in his hand to avoid her gaze.
“Cyrano de Bergerac.” Fae explained. “It’s a play about a man who loves a woman named Roxanne. He writes her letters, pretending to be his more handsome friend,Christian, because he feels like he’s too ugly for her to love him. Roxanne falls in love with his words, saying she loves Christian for his soul alone. Christian tried to convince Cyrano to confess his feelings, but he never really does... It’s sad, really.”
“So this person thinks of you as his Roxanne? Or their Roxanne, I should say. No telling who this person is, yes?” Fae nodded at Copia’s question, lips pursing as she picked up the most recent letter and read it over again
“Do you think that you could be like Roxanne?” Copia asked softly, eye glancing up at her as she looked down at the page. “Love whoever this is just for their words and their spirit?”
Fae looked up at the Cardinal and blinked a few times, stunned by the question. The silence was deafening and Copia’s face turned red from the top of his head to his neck.
“Forgive me, that was out of line.” He sounded frantic as he put the letter in his hands back onto Fae’s desk. “I should not ask you such personal questions.” His heart beat faster and faster as Fae continued to say nothing. He took a few awkward steps back from her before she broke the painful silence.
“I think...” Her brow furrowed and she looked back at the floor, chewing her lip once again. “I’ve never been one for looks. A person’s actions are what I really look at.” There was another long silence and Copia wondered if he should leave, but stayed rooted to the spot out of pure anxiousness.
“I think I could.” Fae finally said. “Love them, I mean. I would be happy to meet them and get to know them better, but they seem to have a kind heart.” She looked back down to the Valentine’s letter in her hands.
“They say I am the person they love, though...” she murmured. “I don’t understand that. They don’t know me. Maybe that’s for the best, though. They say that they’re worried they would disappoint me, but maybe I would disappoint them just as much if they got to know me well enough...”
Copia was afraid to speak, lest he say something else out of turn, so he stood silently by while Fae seemed to get lost in her thoughts.
“Well, Cardinal, you didn’t come here to hear my troubles. Did you need something?” Fae came back to herself in a flash, going back to the smiling Sister Copia knew. It was like she locked the sadness away to keep him from seeing it. He felt he understood her better for a moment.
“Oh, yes,” Copia cleared his throat and straightened up. “I came to get the book you borrowed last week. I need it for something.”
“Was I supposed to have returned that?” Fae looked surprised as she turned and grabbed the book from the pile. She opened the cover to see the date she had checked out the book. “I am so sorry to make you walk all the way here, Cardinal.” she looked apologetic as she handed the book to him.
“No trouble...” Copia mumbled. “It’s not out of the way, really.” The silence between them returned and he cleared his throat awkwardly. He shuffled back and forth on his feet, feeling like he should say something else but couldn’t find any words
“I’ve taken up enough of your time, Sister.” He nodded his head politely at her. “Have a good rest of your day. And good luck with that, eh, admirer.”
With an awkward laugh, Copia clutched the book to his chest and headed to the door. He took a few steps before stopping, turning to look at Fae over his shoulder.
Her smile was gone, and she was lost in her thoughts again. Her usually bright eyes were dimmed with melancholy. It was the same look that drove him to write that first letter. His heart felt the same sorrow it did those months ago. He wanted to go back to her side and confess everything. But his feet wouldn’t move. Her words had given him hope, but he still wasn’t ready.
“Sister... Fae.” Fae’s eyes left the floor and found his. She was surprised he was still there, and even more surprised to hear him calling her by name.
“You have a kind heart, as well.” He said softly. It was nerve wracking to keep eye contact, but he wanted her to know he was serious. “I’m sure this Cyrano, whoever they are, knows that.”
“... Thank you, Cardinal.” Fae’s eyes brightened and she gave him a genuine smile. After a beat, she spoke again. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Copia murmured. There was so much more he wanted to say to her, but that was a good start.