Chapter Text
Guys it's currently four am here, and I know that's not healthy to be awake to see the sunrise without sleeping at least a little bit, but it's not my fault that I got caught in a string of Netflix horror movies and a bunch of fan fiction also do you know how LOUD it is when you try to make nachos at 3:30 in the morning??? Anyway, I'm sitting here barbecue sauce on— I'm wanting some good Plance shit, and I couldn't find what I wanted, so I decided I would write it myself.
Anyway, here's the excruciatingly self-indulgent college au you've all been waiting for. I might expand on it a bit later but for now this is what we got. I'll let you know what time it is when I finish writing this, as it is currently 4:44 am exactly (trippy right?)
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Pidge woke up, and wanted something. But what that something was had not yet made itself known to her. So climbed out of her bed and stalked into the apartment kitchen. She threw open her refrigerator and looked at everything, but nothing seemed worthy of her current appetite.
She wandered aimlessly for a few moments, before trying to go back to bed. It didn't work, and she threw off her covers once more. Pulling on a large green sweater, she left apartment Number 5, and marched past Number 3, and then Number 1, before finally reaching the staircase that would take her down six flights of stairs to the vending machine.
Pidge didn't trust herself not to tumble down the stairs in a state of drunken tiredness, so she opted to take the elevator instead. She hit the lobby button and waited in blissful silence, besides the soft elevator music. She found her mind wandering to her Nonna's home, where this style of music was always playing, though Pidge could never pinpoint the exact location of where it came from.
She almost missed the elevator stop, as the doors slid open to admit her to the lobby of the shady, shitty, but thankfully cheap apartment. The vending machines were lit up like the 4th of July in the dim lights of the main lobby.
Pidge stuck a ten dollar bill in the machine and loaded up with all the snack foods she could, before turning around and falling into the flickering light of a rundown, old McDonald's a few blocks down the street. The dim, flickering, yellow illumination hailed to her like a beacon, or the glow of an angel.
She suddenly knew what would fix her problem.
She pulled her phone from her sweater pocket and checked the time. 3:54 am.
Fuck, she thought. Only the drive through is open. I don't have a car.
Pidge ran up the stairs as fast as she could, slightly out of breath but the time she reached the third flight, and almost completely by the time she reached the top.
She swiftly walked down the hallway to apartment Number 3 and rapped her knuckles on the door a few times after catching her breath. When there was no answer, she knocked harder and quicker. Huffing impatiently, she tried a third time. Halfway through her rhythmic knock, the door swung open, revealing a very clearly annoyed, very tired, and very adorable Lance, standing in the doorway in blue sweatpants, and nothing else, Pidge noticed.
"Did someone die?" he asked sleepily.
"Will you take me to McDonald's?" Pidge asked.
"What?"
"I said, will you take me to McDonald's?" she repeated, the innocent smile on her face giving way to a full blown grin of excitement. She hadn't had McDonald's in years, and wanted to refresh her memory to the fries.
"You want me—"
"Uh-huh."
"To take you—"
"Yup."
"To McDonald's?" He looked at her incredulously. "At four in the fucking morning?"
"That's exactly it, yes."
Lance looked at her for a few moments, looking her up and down in all her pajamafied glory, and — was that a hint of a blush on his cheeks?— said, "let me put a shirt on."
Pidge squealed with happiness as the door closed softly. She leaned her back against it, and waited. She thought of the food she would get and if she would offer to get Lance anything. Of course she would, she decided, as he was the one taking her at four in the morning to get food.
The door swung open quickly, and Pidge fell backwards with a loud thud, landing right underneath Lance.
"Hi," she said, smiling. Lance looked down and shook his head, chuckling lightly at her. She suddenly realized that there were other people in this building, asleep, and the two needed to be quiet, so as to not disturb them.
Pidge bounced back and forth on the balls of her heels in the elevator, while Lance side-eyed her, trying to stop himself from laughing.
"You know," he started, "I never pegged you as a morning person."
"Oh I'm really not," Pidge answered shortly. Realizing she needed to give more of an explanation than that, she added, "I just woke up a few minutes ago, super hungry and craving something, that I could not explain for the love of god, but then, when I went down to the lobby for vending machine snacks, I saw the McDonald's sign, and I just knew that it was what I wanted."
Lance laughed at her rambled explanation. "You know, when my sister was pregnant with my nephew, Sylvio, all she wanted to eat was McDonald's. You sure you're not pregnant?"
Pidge scoffed as they made their way to Lance's blue Mustang. "Please. I've never even been in a real relationship before."
"Wait, for real?" Lance asked. Pidge nodded solemnly. "Believe it or not, I was a huge nerd in high school—"
"Oh I believe it."
"And I've never really tried to find a suitable partner, always putting my schooling and career ahead of that." Pidge shrugged as Lance started the car and pulled out of the parking garage.
"Who knows, maybe a 4 am McDonald's excursion is just what you need to get you to find the right guy." They pulled up to the entrance of the McDonald's, and it said that the drive through was closed for maintenance.
Pidge slumped into her seat and apologized to Lance for waking him up.
"There's one a few minutes from here. The full building is open all night. We can go there," Lance suggested. Pidge perked up, and she smiled at him, showing gratitude. Lance chuckled and U-turned out of the parking lot, driving down a few abandoned roads to get there.
The McDonald's was really shady, and Lance refused to let Pidge go in on her own, despite her protests.
"Lance, I am a fully grown 20 year old. I do not need your protection." She crossed her arms.
Lance held a hand just over her head. "The fact that you're fully grown is disconcerting."
Pidge just elbowed him in the side for that comment.
As the two walked into the restaurant, it started to lightly rain.
"You know, people will run from rain, but sit in a tub full of water," said Lance. "That was said by some old philosopher."
"People don't bathe fully clothed, dumbass," Pidge retorted. "Do you know what you want?"
"What, I'm getting something too? Isn't the guy supposed to pay on the first date?" Lance chuckled.
"This isn't a date. This is you helping me fulfill my stupid needs." Pidge walked up to the counter and placed her order, gesturing for Lance to do the same after her. Lance did as was suggested and ordered for himself too.
"It's gonna take a while," said the cashier. Pidge and Lance nodded and sat at a small, red booth. They giggled and joked about the people in their apartment building, and the landlady. They talked until their food was ready. The cashier even brought it to them, claiming he wanted to stretch his legs after standing for so long. The two at the table thanked him.
They stuffed their faces, and before long, the sun had started to rise. Pidge sipped the remainder of Lances milkshake as they walked back to the car, and, without saying a word, looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles.
"We should do this more often," Lance joked.
"Maybe we should."
And they did.
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This was finished at 5:58 am. I took breaks and watched tv a bit in between parts, but other than that it was straight writing. It usually doesn't take me over an hour to write out a one shot, so you can tell I was distracted. I guess it's also kinda hard to type with a sprained wrist so yeet, k bye.
-JollyProbiotics