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It’s only been seven minutes since Twelve has left, but Nine feels like an eternity has dragged on. He has packed a spare backpack with all the tools he needs and prepares to follow Twelve. Still, his words dig into Nine and cuts deeper than any memory of the Institution or any physical wound.
He knows that Five is wholly expecting the pair of them to show up and save Mishima Lisa. He knows full well that the entire place will be swarmed with her forces and that there won’t be a repeat of the airport incident.
He’s pretty sure Twelve has already come to that conclusion as well, but yet he still left without even a moment of hesitance.
As Nine checks the sight of his gun, it occurs to him that perhaps Twelve plans to die there if it means that Mishima Lisa is safe. His hands still at the realization.
In all these years, the thought of death at any point has never scared him. He has a mission to complete, a message to send out. Death can wait when he finishes everything he set out to accomplish. And yet, the mere thought of either him or Twelve dying tonight instills a fear he’s never felt before. His mind spells out every single possibility to remind him what is at stake.
Twelve will die if Nine does not go help him. Mishima Lisa will die if Nine does not go save her. Hundreds of thousands will die if Nine does not survive. The thoughts whirl in his head, bringing an onslaught of memories that blend both the distant past and the recent present.
White rooms and empty eyes and gray ash and black feathers –
A young Twelve huddling with him in order to survive another harsh winter and trying to sleep so that they can keep moving –
The burning, burning sensation of his back sears through all his senses and the explosion going off with a loud bang –
Another day of deceit in Aomori as he works in the refueling facility and the manager asks about his father and he remembers the jolt of shock that runs through him –
‘But you have no name, no love.’ The woman says coldly, succinctly. ‘You are all abandoned and we are the ones giving you purpose – ‘
Mishima Lisa whimpers in her sleep, mumbles 'Hisami-kun' and Twelve throws a blanket over her and Nine watches from his seat with confusion and curiosity at how much care he’s showing her –
It feels like his entire life is flashing before his eyes in an instant and if that isn't ominous, he doesn't know what is anymore. Despite the roar of conflict inside him, Nine tries to keep moving. He tucks the gun in the backpack and swiftly leaves the arcade. The rain greets him, his clothes drenched in a matter of seconds.
He’s already tracked down Twelve – he’s moving at a speed that breaks all laws in any world and it doesn’t help matters he’s on a motorcycle; Nine hopes he’s okay. He plans to follow him, make sure that everyone makes it out. He will not have anyone die on him, not if he can help it. He can put aside everything that has just transpired and hope to compartmentalize everything later.
Just as he brings his key to the van door, his mind conjures up more images. However, they are not memories at all.
Twelve – no, Hisami Touji – standing on the school roof and overlooking the school grounds with wonder on his face and a pleased smile pulling at his lips.
Kokonoe Arata sitting next to him, content with music in his ears and quietly enjoying the peace and serenity of a regular day at school.
Mishima Lisa watching the two boys with concern, making sure that the boys eat and take care of themselves.
The three of them going to the supermarket, Kokonoe having to rein in Hisami’s buying compulsions and Lisa sweetly smiling at the sight as she pushes the cart of food.
What he sees is a future that they can never have.
Nine’s hand drops to the side and he doesn't move. He lets the rain hit him, lets himself finally just stop. He feels his heart constrict at these turbulent emotions inside him, feels the raw aching hole that Twelve has inflicted upon him. There’s a part of him, the rationally cold part, that screams to not go after Twelve. He wants to leave, so let him leave. He wants to die, so let him die. Having Mishima Lisa gone is simply another hindrance of his plans gone and it’d be easier if all these distractions would just disappear –
But no, the empathetic half of him goes. No, it’s not right. Nine’s worked so hard to get to this point, fought so hard to survive till now. Twelve’s been there for him since the very beginning of this terribly long journey. He’s family at this point and there’s a love Nine will never hope to sever. And despite Mishima Lisa’s faults, she has never done anything to wrong him. All of her actions were done with good intentions: to try and help them in any way she can. She’s another human life that has to be protected.
And with that, Nine shakes off the doubt and unlocks the car. He can’t hesitate anymore. He’ll save them even if it means dying and leaving behind his plans. If not for the innocent girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, then for the boy who means more to Nine than anything the world could ever offer him.
He should have sacrificed his queen.