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They sit on the floor of their apartment, legs crossed beneath them, staring out into the night sky. It’s a strange colour: something too blue and with faint shades of silver mixed within. It’s terrifying, but beautiful at that. As he looks at it, it makes Wonwoo’s stomach churn. But he can’t seem to take his eyes off of it.
He watches the stars twinkle, tiny fairy lights strung up against the sky. He admires the moon, the way it seems all too close and yet, still as far as ever. Maybe even farther. As though he could reach out and touch it, but his hands would only go straight through it. The ghost of a moon, he thinks.
His fingers twitch, aching to just stretch out and grasp onto the silver dome shining in the night sky. Soonyoung notices. Of course he does. He reaches out and lays his hand on top of Wonwoo’s, fingers curling over his and locking around them.
His hand is warm. Wonwoo looks at him. His smile is warm. So are his eyes. God, what he’d give to be able to spend the rest of eternity getting lost in those eyes.
He studies Soonyoung’s face, taking it all in, every curve, every bump, every flaw. Everything that makes up him. He watches the way the moonlight reflects on his hair, freshly dyed a deep blue to match that of the ocean. But now, Wonwoo thinks, it reminds him more of the night sky. His eyes of the stars. His smile of the moon, glowing and lighting up the darkness.
Soonyoung’s eyes curve with his lips, the most fond smile Wonwoo has ever seen, and he feels something similar flutter inside his chest.
“We’re going to be okay, you know.” He talks slow, weighing out his words in a way that is so not Soonyoung and Wonwoo thinks he feels his head spin. His voice is beyond soft, dripping with comfort and care and Wonwoo feels his heart begin to crack.
His hands start to shake, subtly, but Soonyoung tightens his fingers around his, squeezing gently. His eyes are gentle, too. Something so warm and inviting swimming around in pools of deep brown and Wonwoo wants to fall right into them, drown in them.
He drops his head, eyes falling to the floor. He sighs, nodding. “I know,” he lifts his head, meeting Soonyoung’s gaze once again. “I just don’t want to go.”
Soonyoung’s smile falters for a moment, before he wrinkles his nose and leans into the younger. Wonwoo mimics him, their foreheads resting against each other and their hands find their way to each other, intertwining and locking together tightly, eternally.
They both close their eyes, noses brushing lightly, the touch a ghost against the other’s skin. Soonyoung giggles, rubbing his nose against Wonwoo’s purposefully this time.
He sighs, a contented sound. “Do you think you’ll remember me? In a next life?” He opens his eyes, his eyelashes brushing Wonwoo’s as he does the same. The younger boy pushes his forehead firmer against the other’s.
“Shut up, Soonyoung.”
He doesn’t answer the question, but the tight squeeze on Soonyoung’s hand is answer enough. He smiles, reassured, and allows his eyes to flutter shut. He breathes out another sigh, body relaxing, content. His breath hits Wonwoo’s cheek, warm and ticklish against his skin. He glances at the other, a fond smile curving on his lips and he, too, lets his eyes fall shut.
They stay like that for what feels like forever. It might as well be forever, Wonwoo prays to whoever may still be out there that it is. He wants this to be his forever: Soonyoung, in his arms, in his hands, in his heart.
He wants nothing more than to spend eternity just like this.
A loud rumble erupts from the sky, a distant echo carried on the clouds. His grip on Soonyoung’s hand tightens. He inhales deeply, pressing his forehead firmly against the older’s, a surge of fear coursing through his veins.
“We’re going to be okay,” Soonyoung whispers, his breath ghosting Wonwoo’s lips. “I promise,” he squeezes his hands, “we’re going to be okay.”
Wonwoo lets the fearful whimper escape him before he even has time to think about it. Soonyoung leans in carefully, pressing their lips together in the most gentle kiss and Wonwoo feels all that panic, all that fear, just drain out of him like a faucet. As soon as he’s there, he’s gone again, and Wonwoo can only revel at the ghost of Soonyoung’s lips against his.
“We’re going to be okay,” Soonyoung whispers again, firmer now, but still holding the same care, the same reassurance. Wonwoo nods this time, believing, knowing, that it’s true.
He exhales, “We’re going to be okay.” He repeats it and it brings him a feeling of safety, contentment. He feels safe with Soonyoung.
The older boy smiles, Wonwoo does too. The rumbling grows louder, drawing nearer, and their fingers squeeze tighter, their hands pressing into each other more as though trying to get closer, a promise to obliterate any remaining distance so all they feel is each other.
Soonyoung whimpers, and Wonwoo brushes his thumb over the back of his hand. “Soonyoung,” he whispers, “I love you so much. Beyond all else in this world. I won’t forget you from this life, and-” he cuts himself off with a shaky breath. “And I won’t ever forget you in another life.”
Soonyoung breathes out a sob, his face heating up and Wonwoo feels him burning against his skin. “I love you... More than anything in this world. I promise,” he bites back another sob, “I promise I’ll always stay by your side. For now and forever.”
Wonwoo exhales shakily, “I promise, too. I won’t live a second without you.”
Soonyoung breathes out a laugh, their hands squeezing together tightly, reassuringly, as the sound grows louder, drowning everything out and they know this is it. This is their time.
“For now and forever,” Soonyoung whispers.
Wonwoo smiles, “For now and forever.”
To spend eternity in heaven is to spend eternity in your arms.