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Emma Swan is an excellent wing-man, yes it's true that she's never actually been a wing-man but she's sure that she would be pretty great at it. Her finding people skills together with her lie detecting talents should make her the perfect matchmaker. And that matchmaking ability will be tested with Regina. Ever since the return of Marian, Regina had been moping and Emma was determined to get her back on the proverbial horse and assist in finding her someone even better than Robin's pine-cone smelling self.
Seated in a diner booth opposite Regina she spotted her first opportunity.
“Hey Ruby, that shirt looks good on you,” Emma smiled at the waitress as she placed their drinks on the table. A confused Regina watching on.
“Thanks Emma,” the leggy waitress replied with a smile of her own before turning to leave.
“You know…..it would look even better on Regina's floor,” Emma quickly spat out, watching as Ruby froze before turning back with a smirk and arms crossed.
“Are you hitting on Ruby for me?” Regina questioned once her initial shock wore off, her eyebrows raised dangerously high.
“Depends……is it working?” Emma questioned timidly, looking back and forth between the two brunettes.
“No, not really,” Ruby grinned with the shake of her head, before retreating back to the bar.
“Really Emma? Really,” Regina sighed, watching the blonde slink lower and lower into the booth seat. Her lips struggling not to lift at the Sheriffs idiotic behavior.
“Hey Snow,” Emma said, greeting her mother as she entered the diner.
“Hello Emma, Regina” Snow greeted her daughter and Regina with a large smile, shifting Neal from one hip to the other as she did so.
“Did you know that you’re the apple of Regina’s eye,” Emma said with a smug smile. Proud of her latest attempt.
“….…what?” Snow asked, baffled by the conversation. She looked to Regina who merely just shook her head.
“Are you hitting on your own mother for me?” Regina asked dryly.
“Yes, and honestly I think it’s going well,” Emma said, nodding to herself.
“It wasn’t a very good line honey,” Snow sighed, placating Emma with a small sympathetic pat on the shoulder.
“Well it was that or a line about pie, and I have standards,” Emma huffed, annoyed that everyone was so determined to criticise her obviouslysolid attempts at flirtation on Regina’s behalf.
“Low as they may be,” Regina snarled playfully.
“Also I'm married, clearly have 2 children and Regina is my stepmother,” Snow explained slowly to Emma, as though the information was new to her daughter.
“Please, don’t remind me,” Regina rolled her eyes at Snows need to bring up their relation, once again.
“So……this was unsuccessful?” Emma asked in an unsure voice.
“Yes, very much so,” Regina deadpanned, Snow nodding along in agreement.
“Katheryn, your father was King Midas right?” Emma turned her attention to the front of the diner where Katheryn had just been seated.
“Yes,” Katheryn answered with an air of suspicion regarding the savior's motivations.
“Because Regina thinks you must have been touched by an angel….a gold…..um a gold angel?” Emma stuttered out, not quite sure what she intended the line to originally have been but also to stubborn to quit.
“No Emma, just no. Apologize to Katheryn,” Regina shook her head once again, knowing if the day was to continue this way she would probably need to treat a severe case of whiplash.
“I’m sorry for hitting on you for Regina,” Emma sheepishly apologized to the poised blonde.
“I accept your apology, and this has been an extremely confusing conversation,” Katheryn said before turning back to her food, puzzlement clear on her face.
“Hey Zelena, you ride a broom right?” Emma asked the witch on the far side of the diner who had been studiously ignoring all those around her in favor of exploring the dark corners of the internet, and cat videos.
“That’s correct,” Zelena answered in her crisp accent.
“Why don’t you use that experience to show Regina a good time?” Emma said with a sly smirk, and a nudge to the redheads side.
“Because she’s my sister,” Zelena answered, looking past Emma and towards Regina for some kind of hint to what was happening. Regina just threw up her hands in defeat.
“But not like really right?” Emma questioned.
“We have the same mother,” Zelena answered, returning her attention to the cats on her screen in an attempt to get rid of the blonde encroaching on her personal space.
“We’re very much related!” Regina loudly interjected from the other side of the room, causing all eyes to land on her.
“Yeah but only by blood,” Emma shrugged lightly.
“Agh!” Regina frustration could only be heard as she buried her head between her arms.
“Maleficent!” Emma yelled as the well dressed dragon entered Granny’s establishment.
“What?” The dragon snapped as she made her way over to Emma and Regina’s table.
“You wanna hook up with Regina?” Emma asked happily, motioning at the darker woman with flourish as she did so.
“What the hell was that?” Regina asked darkly, spreading her hands over the table top as to not set the Sheriff on fire…..again.
“I ran out of pick up lines, so this is the best I can do,” Emma shrugged helplessly.
“I hate you,” Regina glared daggers at her.
“Yeah, whatever. So Mal, how about it?” Emma said, brushing Regina’s dramatics aside in order to ascertain Mal’s interest in the offer.
“Been there, done that, rather not go there again,” Mal said blankly, not bothering to elaborate.
“Why not?” Emma not so gently pried.
“Last time we broke up someone cursed the entire realm,” Maleficent replied, giving a pointed look at the brunette in question.
“It was one time, will you never let me live that down!” Regina defended, even as the taller blonde turned away.
“Hey Cruella!” Emma called out to the taller woman who was fur clad and sat at the bar.
“No,” Cruella replied before turning away from Emma and continuing her conversation with Ruby at the bar.
“So you maybe want to have dinner at my place instead?” Emma nervously asked, her cheeks brushed with red.
“It would have saved a lot of time and embarrassment if you had just started with that,” Regina said softly, taking the blondes hand in her own to calm her nerves.
“So should I use my pie pick up line now,” Emma playfully asked with a wiggle of her eyebrows.
“Don’t ruin the moment darling,” Regina huffed with a small smile.
Emma Swan is definitely the best wing-man, well for herself at least.