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San observed the other’s glassy eyes, reflecting the city lights that passed by, looking distant. Yeosang was always so stunning, he thought, even in his most fragile times.
"You can tell me." San whispered, breaking their silence, just for Yeosang to hear. They were alone in the back of the bus, well, not completely alone, as the bus driver still sat on the front, but they were sure he was ignoring them as his radio played very quietly in the background.
The older quietly sobbed in response, trying to bring out his words out without bursting into tears as his heart ached. He felt stupid for being so vulnerable in public, even more in front of San. He opened his mouth, but his throat felt like it was constricted by a rope. He lowered his head, looking at the other's hand placing on top of his, warming the older's cold hand. He felt a tear finally falling out of his eyes.
"Is it because of Wooyoung?" That was a stupid question, San knew. Of course it was because of Wooyoung, it always was because of him. The entire existence of San's and Yeosang’s weird relationship was thanks to Wooyoung. They remember it vividly the day that Wooyoung finally wanted to introduce his childhood friend to his now actual best friend. At first, they didn’t hit it off, no, they already hated each other in their first meeting, as they kept fighting like kids for their mutual best friend’s attention. Wooyoung, was oblivious, not understanding why San wouldn’t stop hugging him and Yeosang holding by his arm.
After some time, the two got used to each other, as Wooyoung started inviting them both instead of just one of them. They saw that the other wasn’t so bad, so they started enjoying the others company. Not until they found out they both were in love with the same lavender hair boy. After that, everything they built, went back to square one. They started once again hating on eachother but now they couldn’t keep a distance without looking it suspicious. They agreed they would keep the appearances for Wooyoung at first, but it didn’t take them too long to find eachother hanging out alone, as they used before. The fighting would still be there, but it wasn’t malicious. They just had a friendly rivalry over the best friend’s love.
The older's hand withdrew from the other's hold, as he moved his body closer to the window, making a cold air fill in between of their bodies. "I know you’re very hurt at this moment, but I think we should talk about." San whispered, already missing the other's closeness.
"There's nothing to talk anymore, he rejected me." Yeosang's voice came out broken and quiet, much different to his usual elegant voice tone. "You won."
There was a pause, as San stared out of the window. "I didn't win, I didn't confess." He stated.
"He said he was in love with another person, it's obviously you." Yeosang brushed his cheek vigorously on his sleeve. He was wearing one of his best sweaters but at that moment nothing did really matter. "You probably don't even need to confess to him. He will come to you. Like he always does." He spat out, unfiltered.
San's heart clenched, hating to see the other like that. The one, who always looked so strong emotionally, who always made snarky comments about San, who always had a better plans to win Wooyoung's heart. His true rival. He looked back to his hand just laying above of the his fingers.
"He did come to me." He exhaled as he also lowered his head. "He messaged some hours ago. He said that he was in love with me." He closed his eyes remembering their chat and phone call.
Yeosang's jaw dropped. "H-He confessed to you?" His eyes, that once looked melancholic, now burned in rage. "I can't believe..." He gasped as he pulled his hand completely just to slap the others hand out of his tight. "You son of a bitch, you came here just laugh at my misery?" He shoved the other almost making him fall from his seat. "I really didn't think you would go this low... I thought you were my friend..." Tears came out rapidly of his eyes.
"No, no, no! That's not it, you're understanding it wrong. Please, hear me out..." He pleaded. He stared at Yeosang, expecting another reaction, but the only thing he got in response was a loud sob and a angry frown.
"He called me, maybe after you two parted your ways from the date... He was very emotional, he said it hurted a lot to reject you... And in middle of that phone call he confessed to me..." San's hands curled in a loose fist. He looked at Yeosang's eyes to convey as much truthfulness as possible. "I rejected him."
He watched as the deep frown on Yeosang's face dropped into a softer but shocked expression. "You... rejected him? B-But... You were in love with him, we were in love with him! It was your chance!"
"I-I... don't know..." Even San still couldn't believe he did something like this, to someone he considered the Love of his Life for so long. "I-I'm still confused... But.. I don't feel I'm in love with Wooyoung anymore... not as much... " He shut his mouth. He didn't have the guts to speak further. But Yeosang kept staring him. With those gorgeous eyes. The ones he found comfort in hard times, when both of their hearts kept aching for the same boy in lavender hair. Someone who understood him, someone who knew exactly what he felt.
"As you." There, he dropped the bomb. Both of them kept staring at each other's eyes. Afraid of the other's next move.
"Me?"
"Yeah..." He spoke under his breath.
"...Why?" The others voice came out quieter, that blended with the bus' motor.
"I don't know..." He muttered. He had no idea when or why he started crushing Yeosang. He just remembers at one day, he realised he was looking forward to see the other in the next day as much as he did with Wooyoung. Maybe even more.
"San..." The older looked in despair. "I don't know... I... This is a lot to unpack..."
"I know..." He lowered his head. He was expecting this reaction from the other. But for the younger's surprise, he felt two cold hands holding his own in a firm grip.
"I'm... just surprised... I didn't know... I like you too, but... I never imagined you would see me more than a friend." He spoke quickly. "I had my mind so set that you loved Wooyoung. I just.. can't believe this is happening."
San let a soft chuckle, that made an unknown part of Yeosang's heart bloom with something warmer. "I can't believe this either..."
"I think... I just need some time... At least till I'm healed from Wooyoung." He felt his cheeks warming up. "Till then... Just please don't leave my side." He spoke softly, giving the other’s hand a light squeeze.
"I won't... I promise you." San released one of his hands to lift the other's chin with his fingers, carefully, as if the other was made from a very fine porcelain. Both met each other's gaze once again. They knew the other was as nervous as themselves. It was very new, but also very familiar.
"Can I kiss you?" San whispered, as he laid his eyes on the others lips, that would ever so slightly tremble.
"... Just please don't go overboard." Yeosang responded. "You can kiss me once, no tongue, no spit." San chuckled once more, bringing his dimples out to shine on his cheeks.
"I got you..." He leaned in, closing their gap as his lips met the others carefully. It almost couldn't be considered a kiss, it was just a very long peck. Yeosang's free hand was placed shyly on the others shoulder, inviting the other at least to move. It surprised the younger as they started moving slowly, growing into a sweet loving kiss. As San's hand moved back to his neck, Yeosang knew it was going too far for him, making them break apart once again. San's breath was quicker, not because of the kiss itself, but because of the adrenaline on his system. "Okay..." He whispered to himself.
"...Let's keep kissing to a minimal... at least for now." The older spoke out, feeling his cheeks burning.
"I can work with that..." San's eyes still were on the others lips, wishing he could feel them once again, but he was snapped out of his thoughts when the other slapped his hand out of his neck.
"My eyes are over here, stupid." He said in a teasing manner, so familiar to San back when they consider each other rivals.
"Sorry... They're just so gorgeous..." San smiled, as he finally could admit his true thoughts to the other.
"Oh my god, please don't start being cheesy right now, we're still frien- Oh My God!! We missed five stops!!" Yeosang used his free hand to click on the button as he saw a stop coming by, that he knew, was far from where he lived. The bus stopped abruptly, letting the two hop out. They mentally apologised themselves to the bus driver, but they were too embarrassed to say a word, as the driver probably heard their whole dialogue.
"Fuck... we're so far from my house... and it's almost midnight..." He checked on his phone, with his free hand, as the two still held on each others hand unconsciously.
"We can walk, it's not that cold." Actually, it was freezing. but San tried to be positive. It wasn't raining at least.
Yeosang sighed, as he eyed the others gaze once again. He couldn't say no.
"Alright. But when we arrive, you're owing me dinner." He spoke out, in a fake angry tone. "You know what I'll want."
San laughed again. "Of course I do."