Chapter Text
The past few months were a breakthrough to them. Not only they started playing in bigger venues. Well, if you could call a little room with a narrow scene a big venue. But it was a huge success for them, when more than one hundred people showed up at their concerts. After all they were just bunch of weirdos, finding joy in playing visual kei music.
If you could call it music, Aoi laughed to himself, thinking about the most recent piece he composed. Adding the not-so-polished Ruki’s vocals and there you had it - a disaster. Yet he was very glad that he’s got a chance to compose music with those four dudes. A part of him knew they would go very far if only they pushed hard enough Because more and more people had their eyes on them. And ears.
Especially girls. Pretty girls, Aoi smirked to himself, putting on a fresh t-shirt on his well-toned chest. He loved the attention he got from all of the female fans. The squirming and shouting whenever he entered the scene ramped him up so much. Maybe his self-confidence was slightly too reliant on the amount of cheering he’s gotten in one night. Maybe.
He was masking it with his cockiness, but the truth was that Aoi had a lot of issues with his confidence. Especially when it came to his guitar skills. He was always a little bit self conscious. And it all fault of the lead guitarist from his band. The younger guy seemed to compose songs with such an ease. And the way Uruha handled guitar riffs was extraordinary, taking into consideration how little experience they’ve got so far.
So every time Uruha walked in when Aoi was practicing guitar, out of a sudden, Aoi always stressed out and had an anxiety attack. What if he messed something up. Uruha never really pointed it out, but Aoi suspected that the younger felt disgusted with his pathetic tries. On the rare occasions when Uruha complimented Aoi’s skills, Aoi’s heart skipped a beat. There was something so intoxicating about the younger boy and Aoi couldn’t exactly pinpoint what, but it felt weird.
‘Good job tonight, Aoi!’ Uruha said after the show and elbowed his friend, playfully.
Aoi looked away and blushed. For fuck’s sake why was he blushing. He quickly turned around, pretending to wipe the neck of his guitar with the back of his hand. That made sense. ‘Eh, easy peasy lemon squeezy as they say’ he laughed it off, nervously. ‘You weren’t so bad yourself.’
‘I am not so sure,’ Uruha sighed, gloomily. ‘My amplifier isn’t that great and it messes with my focus on stage.’
‘You can borrow my old one if you wa…’ Aoi started, but wasn’t able to finish because Reita butted in.
‘Oh yeah, blame that on the amp.’ Reita poked his tongue out. ‘Not on the emptied bottle of wine before the show.’
Uruha just rolled his eyes and walked away to change from the uncomfortable costume. And Aoi would lie if he said he wasn’t checking out Uruha’s slim body slip off the latex pants and ripped top. He really wasn’t doing it on purpose. It just happened to be in the way of his sight. At least that’s how he’s tired to explain it to himself.
‘I have bad news and good news!’ Kai’s shouting resounded in the room. ‘The good news is that as your new, extraordinary leader, I organised us a stay at a hotel this time, so we don’t have to sleep in a van.’
A loud excited cheering could be heard in the backstage. It was still unusual for them to afford a place to stay at. And sleeping in a van in the middle of the winter was pain in the ass.
‘And what are the bad news?’ Aoi asked, sceptically.
‘Well,’ Kai sighed and crossed arms on his chest. ‘I only managed to find one single room and two doubles. So we will have to pair up.’
‘I think we already know one pair.’ Aoi mumbled bitterly, looking over at Reita who had his palms on top of Ruki’s shoulders. It was an innocent gesture but if you knew what was secretly going on between them, you could catch the touch lingering for a way too long and the fingers digging into to the flesh a bit too harshly.
And it was hard not to know what was going on between Reita and Ruki when Aoi could vividly recall spotting them making out somewhere in the corner of a storage room, earlier that day. Add Ruki’s constant need for physical contact with Reita? Ruki standing so close to the bassist to ever so slightly have his back touching Reita’s chest? Or Reita wrapping his palm around Ruki’s mochi arms as soon as he had a chance? Please. Aoi was ready to puke rainbow on the spot.
‘You mean us?’ Reita was grinning. His chin was obnoxiously resting on top of Ruki’s shoulder now.
‘We should all draw straws!’ Uruha said, excitedly while pulling a straw out of a soda can he was drinking from. ‘It’s going to be the most accurate and fair, right?’
‘Uruha,’ Kai sighed at his oblivious friend. ‘I think we should agree that Reita and Ruki are going to take one of the rooms to avoid any kind of awkwardness. It’s better for us all that way, okay?’
‘If you say so.’ Uruha mumbled, disappointed. A sparkle in his eyes re-appeared when he realised there was still some issue about the three of them to resolve. He raised the plastic straw up in the air. ‘But we can still draw straws between the three of us, right?’
Aoi cleared his throat. ‘Well as the oldest one in the band…’ he looked at Kai with pleading eyes. ‘I will gladly volunteer to take the single room.’
‘I mean I guess you should have some kind of advantage as the oldest one, right?’ Kai scratched the back of his head, awkwardly. ‘Uruha?’
‘Yeah, I guess’ Uruha sighed and lowered his hand with the straw in it. There was a gloomy expression painted on his face at the moment. ‘It was a stupid idea anyway.’ He summed up.
‘Okay, let’s draw straws then.’ Aoi said out loud. Goddamnit, he thought to himself. There was something about Uruha’s upset face that couldn’t let him sleep if he hadn’t agreed to the game. Something so irresistible about how the already pouty lips looked even more full on the angelic face of the younger. Aoi just couldn’t stand it haunting him.
‘What?’ Uruha’s eyes lit up. ‘Really?’
‘Really?’ Kai asked, a noticeable shock in his voice.
Aoi sighed. ‘Yes, of course.’ He swallowed loudly. In fact, Aoi absolutely didn’t want to do it because there was a fair chance, a fifty percent chance, if he was doing the maths correctly, that he is going to share a room with Uruha. And it wasn’t on top of Aoi’s wishes list. Okay, it was. But not on the list that he would necessarily want to become true. Sometimes it’s better for some things to remain a fantasy forever.
Reita took the straw from Uruha’s hand and fished out a pocket knife from his pants. With a blink of an eye Reita had the straw cut in pieces. He turned around and shuffled them only to turn back around and offer the hand with the pieces in it to his friends. ‘Who goes first?’
Aoi looked at Kai and noticed him shrugging the shoulders. He extended his hand in a friendly gesture of offering Uruha the place to draw first. Then he scolded himself mentally for it because of the way how Reita and Ruki looked at each other, grinning.
After Uruha drew the first piece Kai and Aoi followed the suit and pulled on the pieces of plastic. Then they gathered to compared the sizes of the straws in their hands and there was an enthusiastic yell echoing in the room.
‘I won!’ Kai shouted and threw his fist in the air. ‘A well deserved long night of undisturbed sleep! Bingo!’
‘Unless your room is right next to ours’ Ruki threw in Kai’s face, poking his tongue out.
‘Don’t you dare ,’ Kai raised a finger at the vocalist.
‘Did someone say something?’ Ruki threw his bag over his shoulder, a huge grin painted on his face. ‘Is it a voice of a future ex-drummer echoing in the room?’
‘Yeah, like you can find a better drummer.’ Kai waved the younger off and crouched to zip up his bag. ‘Go ahead, call Yune and sleep in a van tonight.’
‘Fine, you are kind of useful. You can stay. For now.’ The vocalist rolled his eyes and walked out of the room.
Aoi wasn’t paying much attention to the discussion going on right next to him because he was busy digesting the news. He was sharing a room with the younger guitarist. Aoi’s palms out of a sudden became sweaty. A wave of anxiety so strong shoot through his mind that he completely missed to make sense out of the string of words coming out of Uruha’s mouth that were clearly directed at him.
‘Excuse me?’ Aoi was avoiding Uruha’s gaze. He wiped his sweaty palms on the top of his thighs.
‘I just said we are sharing a room.’ Uruha shrugged his arms and walked away to pick up his bag.
Aoi clenched his eyes close to the point it hurt. The younger was so cold and distant, the tone of his voice so indifferent. When the rest of the band left the room Aoi let out a long sigh, filled with anxiety.
What am I exactly stressing about, he asked himself while sitting in the van. He spared a glance towards the seat on the left where Uruha was peacefully napping with his face glued to the vehicle’s window.
After all, Uruha was just another man, his band member. And on top of everything, he was kind of a weirdo, Aoi had to admit. Even looking at him right at that moment Aoi could make a list of things that were so lame about the main guitarist. Starting with the horrible pink tank top, finishing with those ugly mid-shin length socks peeking through the unfashionable sandals.
There was nothing that outstandingly cool about Uruha, when you thought about it. He had strong opinions, especially about the tunes he played and music in general but he never really expressed them properly. The lead guitarist was always swinging his long, slim arms around, over gesticulating, every time he had to explain something. And in his free time when Aoi was busy running after girls, Uruha was most likely spending his time smashing the keys on his PSP controller.
And when you thought about it, Aoi continued his inner contemplation even when the van’s door were opened and they were supposed to leave the vehicle, even Uruha’s presence on stage wasn’t that great. Whenever they sung, or shouted with Ruki, Uruha’s voice was always barely noticeable. Additionally, if it wasn’t for the excessive amount of alcohol that Uruha poured into himself before the gigs, Aoi wasn’t even sure the guitarist would have enough courage to come out of the dressing room. He definitely wouldn’t be confident enough to skip around the stage and entice the crowds.
When Aoi eyed the silhouette of the younger it remained an unsolved riddle why the lead guitarist would feel self conscious. Okay, he wasn’t as muscular as Reita or Kai. He definitely didn’t have any ass, Aoi chuckled to himself. But if only he recognized the true potential he had… The full lips, the cheekbones from another galaxy.. If he would be aware of that, he could become a flirtatious devil. Uruha could easily have anything he wanted, wrapping anyone around his finger.
‘Okay boys, here are your keys.’ Kai outstretched his palm.
‘Boys?’ Ruki huffed, annoyed. ‘Have a little bit more respect for the rising stars of Japan.’ He took the key and turned on his heel, already picking up a pace towards the hallway.
‘Sorry’ Reita mouthed to Kai after seeing his annoyed face. Then he quickly ran after the vocalist.
‘And the two of you,’ Kai reached out the open palm to the remaining members. ‘Here you go.’
Aoi and Uruha were took by surprise out of their daze. So as a reflex, both of them extended their arms to take the key at the same time. Which resulted in their hands brushing against each other.
‘Shit, sorry!’ Aoi immediately pulled the hand away, embarrassed. And it didn’t help when Kai let out a low chuckle and Uruha completely ignored the touch. The night in the hotel room hasn’t even started and it was already a disaster. He simply took off in the direction of the hallway. Aoi sent a murderous gaze at Kai and followed his assigned roommate.
It was the goddamn indifference that made Aoi crave so much to know more about the younger guitarist. All of the layers of being so private and hidden in his own shell. It was such a mystery to Aoi, who always wore his heart on his sleeve, how someone could be so reserved. ‘What the hell are you feeling?’ Aoi asked in his head as he watched Uruha unlock the hotel room. Because Aoi could pinpoint with easy what he, himself, was going through. Anxiety. A lot of it…
First thing they noticed after entering the room was how fancy it appeared to be. After all they weren’t expecting much. After all they were just a bunch of rookies. Everything would be much better than sleeping in a van. But the wallpapers in the narrow corridor actually looked luxurious. In silence, both of them threw their bags on the floor and removed their shoes.
‘Wow.’ A short awe escaped Uruha’s lips when he entered the bedroom. ‘Really?’
Aoi followed the younger to the room and saw what Uruha was referring to. Did he mention something about being anxious? Yeah, at that moment he was a ball of stress. ‘Don’t worry I’ve stayed in a hotel like this one.’ No, he hasn’t. Aoi waved Uruha off, faking confidence. We walked to the bed and grabbing on the wooden base. His palms begun sweating like crazy. ‘I am sure it is one of those beds that you can pull on and separate the mattresses.’ Aoi’s heart was filled with hope. He tugged on the bed with a full force. But nothing was happening. He swallowed loudly.
It was a king-size bed. One mattress. One duvet. Fuck.