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The winter holidays were here once more, and even though the grass had been thickened by an inch or two of snow and the air had turned chilly and bitter, Jacob could care less. It was a couple of days before break, and man, oh man, he could hardly wait.
Even though it was nice to finally be away from Dreary Meadows, and in extension, away from Greedyguts, that didn’t mean this school didn’t have it’s own problems as well. The new principal might not have been a sadistic and lazy slob like Greedyguts, but Jacob and his friends still had to deal with quite a few Sourpickles and their strict teaching ways. At least the principal and him were on good terms, the former doing a few favors for the latter when they really needed it, something that Greedyguts never would’ve done.
Unfortunately, strict teachers weren’t the only problem, the other being the bullies, but not the ones that first came to mind. They weren’t even really bullies anymore, as shocking as it sounded. One summer not too long ago, Wilson mysteriously disappeared. One day he was there, and the next, he was gone. Nobody bothered to try to figure out what happened to him, and the only ones who did know, Quigley and Dushane, refused to say anything, preferring to play dumb.
Near the start of eighth grade, Wilson returned, as if nothing had happened, even though it was obvious that said time away had changed him. While he still said witty and snide things, he didn’t really partake in bullying people anymore. Whatever had happened to him had completely reworked his entire personality, turning him from a jerk with a heart of jerk, to a lesser jerk with a heart of… silver. Without him to lead them, however, the other bullies had also given up, as if Wilson was their entire drive.
Even though it seemed that everything was fine now, as soon as Jacob and his friends graduated from Dreary Meadows, they learned that Wilson’s bullying was actually pretty mild compared to another bully that they would run into, a cunning and simply evil trickster, Thomas Reynard.
According to Buford and just about everybody else in the student body, Thomas was the meanest kid in tenth grade and possibly the whole school, and Jacob couldn’t help but agree. He picked on anybody who he thought was different from him, taking their lunch money before spitting on them and walking away.
Jacob and Buford were the only ones usually spared from the more harsh side of his wrath, but that was only because they had Renee as their friend, who was someone who’d beat anybody up for hurting her friends, including Thomas. If she was really deadset on it, she could have the entire school conquered in a day. But unlike Thomas, she was usually levelheaded and didn’t threaten people just to get something out of them. If Renee threatens you, you know you messed up.
However, despite all of this, legend had it that whenever a holiday came around, whether it was for Christmas or even for Halloween, Thomas threw the best parties. But again, that was only by word of mouth, nobody ever got invited to his parties, at least not anybody in Jacob’s grade level. It was a mystery, all right. One that might just go unsolved, like the many secrets left undiscovered at Dreary Meadows. The most important one being, ‘Why hasn’t Greedyguts been fired yet?’ .
By the time Jacob had made his way to the front of the school, the sun was just barely peeking out from the morning clouds, casting a small but noticeable gleam onto the building and the sidewalk. Taking in a deep breath, he already had an inkling of a feeling that today was going to be eventful or different in some way or form. Whether that was a good or bad thing, he didn’t know just yet, but there was only one way to find out.
He did have one more obstacle in his path, nevertheless, which was Buford himself. For some reason, the fifteen-year-old got into the habit of surprise jumping Jacob whenever the latter would walk into school. It wasn’t anything mean-spirited, he just thought it was fun, like an impromptu game of hide-and-seek, but in which the hiders were also the seekers and vise-versa.
But there was no running from it, Jacob learned that the hard way. Another thing he learned was that it was futile to tell Buford that he knew he was there. Buford knew that he knew, and he didn’t care.
Walking onto the hard floor, he braced himself for the impact of a certain auburn-haired boy, bound to be coming up any minute now.
“Hey, Jacob!”
Here it comes. As soon as Jacob spins around, his friend is crashing into him, sending the two to the floor. For a second, the two just stared at each other, Jacob’s blue eyes matching evenly with Buford’s blue and green ones. They were way too close for comfort, and despite a part of him wanting to stay in that position, Jacob attempted to squirm out from Buford’s pinning grasp.
“Hey, buddy! Can… Can you let go of me, please?”
Buford jumped up immediately. “Sorry! But guess what? I saw a guy walking to school that kinda looked like you, but if you had grey hair and a full beard. I sure hope he didn’t see me staring at him! That would’ve been awkward. Did you see a guy that looked like me by any chance?”
Jacob sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Not that I recall, why?”
“Oh, you know, what if they’re us from the future, and they’re blending in with everyone else so they can warn us about something dangerous that’s about to happen?” There Buford was again with his rather ridiculous theories about everything and then some. Despite that, Jacob truly enjoyed listening to them. It gave him new things to think about and consider, as his dad would say, ‘Looking from the other perspective’. That perspective, in question, being Buford Pugh, his… friend. Nothing more, nothing less. To be anything else other than that sounded even more asinine than Buford’s theories.
“Wow, that sounds crazy, Buford, real crazy. But you never know, I guess.” Even though it’d be easier for other people to simply debunk his ideas, Jacob found that playing along with it felt much more enjoyable. As much fun as it would be to continue thinking about stuff, the two needed to get a move on. “Come on, we don’t want to be late.”
“Oh okay!” Buford grinned, lopsidedly. Why was his smile so cute and innocent? He was simply the nicest and purest person that Jacob had ever met, always believing in the good of people, causing him to be extremely naive. It was this naivety that Jacob felt so drawn to, a beacon of hope whenever life decided to kick him. But for the third time this morning, Jacob had to get his mind out of the gutter. Buford was his friend and he most certainly wasn’t crushing on him, no matter how adorkable his smiles might be.
Briskly walking alongside Buford while trying not to make eye contact, Jacob reached his locker, quickly putting in the code and nearly breaking the door off its hinges when he slammed it open. He didn’t mean to be so aggressive while doing it, it’s just that now, thinking about Buford, he felt weird and uneasy, emotionally attempting to grip with his thoughts, wondering what the heck was wrong with him and why he suddenly felt this way.
It wasn’t actually love, was it? He shook his head, rejecting the thought. No, no, it couldn’t be! While he might not have been as revolted by the idea as he was a certain couple of years ago, he wasn’t looking for any kind of lover anytime soon. The whole thing still felt weird and gross to him somewhat, and the whole ‘Melinda incident’ didn’t help any, his friends still poked fun at him for that. Before he could drown in his thoughts any further, a voice, not Buford’s, called out to him.
“You alright zere, Jacob?”
He turned around to see Renee, standing next to Buford. “Oh, hey Renee. What are you doing?”
“School, same zing you are. However, you appear to be razer stressed out.” She glanced at the locker door in Jacob’s hand. “Is anyzing wrong?”
“Wrong? Me? Nothing’s wrong, nothing! I just got distracted because I was thinking about uh… things! Like work!”
“You don’t go to work, zough.”
“But if I did, that is!” Jacob could tell that Renee wasn’t convinced, though it wasn’t like he could go around saying ‘I’m crushing on Buford’ because not only would Buford probably feel awkward, if they made fun of him for the Melinda thing, they would surely never let him live that down. Then again, he wasn’t crushing on his friend, his thoughts were just all scrambled up at the moment. Maybe after waking up a bit more, they’d disappear and he could forget about all this. “I’m fine, really!”
Renee looked at him for a moment longer, before accepting he wasn’t going to tell her and simply nodded. “Alright, zen, I guess.”
“Oh yea, Renee, I forgot to tell you, I saw this old man who kinda looked like Jacob and-” Buford began to tell her the same story he told Jacob, though he was suddenly interrupted by Renee putting her hand in front of his face, signaling him to stop.
“Hey, I was getting to the good-” He saw her scowl, and looking into the distance, he realized what she was glowering at. Jacob saw who it was as well and gasped, jumping behind Renee for protection.
It was none other than Thomas, walking towards the trio, a creepy smirk on his face. Before long, Renee and he were standing face to face, the silence deafening.
“What do you want?” She snarled, lip curling in disgust.
Thomas scoffed, rolling his eyes, though Jacob could tell he wasn’t going to try to fight her. “I’m not here to fight, princess, I was just wondering if you would be interested in attending something.”
Renee cocked her head, suspiciously. “You’re not trying to get me to help you bully pipsqueak and Buford, are you?”
Thomas backed up a little bit, obviously feeling threatened. “No, no! If I wanted to pick on them, but I don’t, of course, I could do it by myself! I was wondering if you wanted to come to my party tomorrow night, you know, tough girl to guy kinda thing?”
Jacob and Buford gasped, was Renee of all people just invited to Thomas Reynald’s party? It didn’t seem real, why would he want to invite her? Still, she could tell them all about it, couldn’t she? She could settle a mystery for good and put it to rest. But then another problem came up, that being that Renee would never accept such an invitation. She would simply just reject the best thing to ever happen to her and carry on with her life, that’s just who she is.
Renee looked at him, squinting her eyes. After a couple of moments, she responded. “I’ll go, but only if you let pipsqueak and pipsqueak 2.0 come along too.”
“Are you kidding… Fine, fine, bring them, whatever. But let me tell you one thing.” Thomas got right into Buford’s face. “This party isn’t for bucktoothed babies. ”
Buford shook the shock out of himself. “I’m not a baby!”
“Good, I’ll see you there.” Thomas handed Renee three cards and walked away, but not before pushing the books out of some innocent girl’s hands as they walked down the hallway.
“Did that just happen, did that really just happen?” Jacob asked, shocked beyond belief. Before he could question it any further, he felt someone punch his shoulder. “Ow, what the heck was that for?!”
“Sorry, I was helping you see if you were dreaming” Buford responded. “I guess not.”
“So it actually did happen, I never thought I of all people would get invited to Thomas’ party!”
“I never thought I’d get invited to a party that wasn’t from you two in general!”
Renee rolled her eyes. “I don’t see what ze big deal is. It’s just a party.”
“It is not just a party!” Jacob defended.
“Sounds like it is, after all, rumors are just rumors. Besides, I don’t trust him zat much.”
Buford was confuddled. “If that’s the case, why did you agree to go to the party?”
Renee glanced at the cards in her hand, before giving two of them to Jacob and Buford. “Well, I zought it would be a good opportunity to put the whole ‘party myz’ to rest. Go in zere, see how boring and basic it is and zen tell everyone at school zat zey’ve been living a lie.”
“Or, you’re crushing on him.” Buford said, snidely.
“I am not! Whatever made you zink zat?!”
Jacob laughed, happy that he was no longer the only sole target of shameless love mocking. “I dunno, Buford, you wanna see what the deal is?”
“Yea! I like parties, even if they’re basic!”
Jacob smiled at his friend’s optimism, yet a seed of doubt had now been planted in his mind. Renee was right, Thomas was most certainly not someone to be trusted, and Jacob was wondering whether or not this was all an elaborate prank of some sort. Still, if he didn’t go, he could miss out on the absolute greatest party of his life! It was quite the moral dilemma that he didn’t know how to solve.
The day passed by excruciatingly slow, class after class after class, seemingly never ending. However, Jacob’s thoughts weren’t filled with boredom and the desire to run outside and sled down hills, instead, they were filled with thoughts of confusion and conflicting desires. What should he do? As the bell rang signaling the end of the school day, he realized he had a certain someone he could turn to.
“And that’s kinda my problem,” Jacob said, recounting the story to his mom. “What do you think I should do? Should I go? Is this what peer pressure is like?”
“I think the party is a good idea, it’ll help you get out and meet new people.” She said, looking at the invitation that was laying on the table.
“But what if it goes wrong? What if It goes wrong?! What if it’s all a prank or some kinda party with you know, bad stuff?! Now I sound like you guys.” He let out a tired laugh.
“I know what you said about him being a bully, but you never know, he might be trying to turn over a new leaf. I’d say just go and be courteous, but if it turns out the party isn’t what you expected, you know you can always call your dad and me.”
Jacob nodded, feeling a little more confident. “I guess I’ll go. Thanks, mom.”
“Anytime, sweetheart.”
------
The next day, for many students, was a rather uninteresting Friday, save for the fact it was the day before break. However, for Jacob and his friends, this day was anything but. For Renee, it was the chance to debunk a myth that she thought was ridiculous to begin with, for Buford, it was an opportunity to make new friends, and for Jacob, let’s just say that he was still having doubts about the situation, but would push them to the side for the time begin. After all, it was just a party, how bad could it be?
By the time six’o’clock had come around, the sun had already set, and a full moon hung high in the sky, the trees shifting as the moonlight shone on them, drawing forth a soft glow from the darkness. As the trio approached the estate, Jacob realized that this was an actual party, given the blaring music and noise coming out from the house and the multiple cars parked in the street.
“Well, at least it’s not a prank, at least it’s not a prank.” Jacob mumbled, slightly taken aback by the absolute scene of chaos before him.
“I still don’t trust him, zough.” Renee muttered, glaring. “He could make a fool out of us once we’re inside, you know.”
“If he does, then you can just beat him up in front of everyone!” Buford stated cheerfully and rather morbidly. Seeing Renee nod, he continued. “I’m excited, aren’t you guys?”
“I mean, I guess. But…” Jacob didn’t finish his sentence, instead just cutting it off and walking up to the front door. After staring at it for a couple of moments, he grabbed the knob and slowly turned it, before apprehensively pushing the door open.
The inside was an absolute nightmare of anarchy and chaos. People were running around and being loud, and Jacob wanted to run away, already feeling overwhelmed, but looking back at his friends, realized that he made it this far and it was too late to turn back now.
“Zis is quite… chaotic.” Renee muttered, stepping inside after Jacob. “Is zis what your family is like, Jacob?”
“Not at all, not at all. They might be rather annoying, but they’re not this bad, right, Buford?” He turned to where he thought his friend would be, but the boy was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Buford?”
Renee groaned. “Great, we lost him! We haven’t even gotten past ze door and zis is already turning into a disaster!”
Jacob patted her shoulder. “Relax, I’m sure he’s fine, I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Jacob, you know just as well as I know zat Buford cannot be unsupervised, especially at somezing as crazy as this. It’s an accident just waiting to happen.”
“I know, trust me, I know, but it’s too late to do anything about it right now. Besides, I’m sure someone else here will make sure he’s alright. Let’s just settle down and try to have some fun, alright?”
Jacob could still see that Renee was tense, just like him, but she eventually let out a defeated sigh. “I suppose you’re right, for once.”
Rolling his eyes at Renee’s playful banter, he walked further into the house, Renee following closely behind. Despite the pep talk he gave just a few moments before, he was absolutely terrified. Not only was Buford god knows where, but this party was worse than anything his mind could have prepared him for. It was loud, cramped, and everyone here seemed to be at least five years older than him.
All in all, he felt very awkward and uncomfortable, and he was sure Renee felt the same.
The two made their way into the backyard to get a breath of fresh air and to get away from all the noise that was going on inside. Unfortunately, there was just as much noise outside as there was inside, but at least it was less crowded. Despite the cold temperature, it was a very beautiful night, as Jacob and Renee glanced at the full moon shining above them. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad party after all.
“This isn’t so bad, this isn’t so bad.” Jacob spoke to himself, trying to see if he could spot any constellations dancing on the horizon. Unfortunately, light pollution had a firm grip on Montreal, blocking out any of the stars from being shown, but he knew they were there, hidden from the naked eye’s view.
“Oui. Such a shame Buford isn’t here wiz us.”
“I’m sure he’s having a blast, wherever he is. We should head back inside, it’s pretty cold out here, who knows, maybe we’ll find Buford.” Seeing Renee nod, the two began their way back up into the house.
Jacob glanced around the yard as they walked, looking for Buford. He didn’t want to get overwhelmed again, but he didn’t want to leave his friend alone, either. Unfortunately his buddy wasn’t in sight, and he wasn’t sure where he could be. He supposed they’d have to search a little more thoroughly to find him.
However, before they could enter back into the house, a stranger approached them, walking unsteadily. Renee cocked her head, watching with amusement and concern. Jacob felt a little uncomfortable with how the man was acting.
“Are you okay? Are you okay?” Jacob asked, unsure of how to approach the topic. “You seem to be acting a little funny.”
“I’m…. fineeeee. Just a littleeee… drunk.”
“Drunk?! Drunk?!” Jacob’s heart just about fell to his stomach with dread and he knew Renee felt the same way. “You mean you got drunk before the party, right? Please tell me you did.”
“What? Of course not, my little dudeeee.” The man had a very pronounced slur and now Jacob could put two and two together on why. “Why do you think so many people show up to this… you know… thing? Are you drunk? Don’t you have to be like… nineteen or something, I don’t knowwww… you don’t look nineteeennnn….”
Jacob shook his head, trying to regain his composure. “Of course not, of course not! We were invited to this party by… that no good brat!”
Go figure that Thomas’ supposed ‘party of the century’ was filled with drunks, both of age and underage, like Thomas, who was only at the very least, seventeen. Jacob’s mind was spinning with both questions and regrets, but the most prominent one was loud and clear. “Come on, Renee, let’s get out of here.”
“What about Buford?” She asked, eyes widening.
Right, they had to find Buford! However, the stakes felt higher than ever, now that Jacob knew there was alcohol involved. While both Renee and him had common sense, Buford could so very easily be manipulated into drinking, especially if he didn’t know what it was.
“Agh, how could I forget?!” Jacob groaned, before looking back up at the staggering man. “By any chance have you seen a teen with reddish hair?”
“You mean theeee uh… bucktooth guy?”
Jacob nodded, dread filling his stomach for a reason he couldn’t comprehend. “Yea, that’s him, that’s him! Where is he?”
“I dunno, he was uh… in the living room or something. Guy’s more wasted than I am.”
“No, no, no!” Jacob took off running, not even looking to see if Renee was following, though he had an inkling that she was. So great, they knew where Buford was, hopefully, but now apparently he was drunk, great, just great. He just hoped the drunken man was wrong and this was another red-haired bucktoothed teen that was drunk and not Buford.
He found the living room full of people, everyone drinking something and talking to one another, but Jacob couldn’t care. He had to find his friend and leave.
But with all the people, he was having trouble seeing even a few feet around him. This was more crowded than a school assembly! He was getting more weirded out by the minute, until a stranger stepped up beside him.
“Are you Jacob?”
“Yes? I mean, no, I mean yes, what’s wrong?” For a second, Jacob felt a sense of relief, maybe Buford was trying to look for him for the same reasons he was trying to look for Buford.
“What's-his-face over there won’t shut up about you!”
Jacob followed his gesture to a person lying on the floor, and for the fifth time that day, his heart stopped. Said person locked eyes with him, smiling. “Heeey… *Hic * Jacob. I’m… ready to go homeeee now.”
Before Jacob could say anything, Renee finally caught up with him. “Zere you- Oh, oh.”
‘Yea, oh, Renee! Buford’s drunk and I don’t know what to do!”
“My… My legs feel like jellyyyy.” Buford muttered, attempting to stand up but failing to.
Renee simply facepalmed, groaning. “You need to call one of your family members to pick boz you and Buford up, unless you want to carry him back to your house in zis weazer.”
Jacob gulped. How would his parents react to this? He knew what his mom said, but he had a sinking feeling they’d still be upset with him anyways. “But-”
“Your parents aren’t going to be upset, you know. It’s not like you drank anyzing.”
“But I still lost Buford and he still got drunk! Drunk!”
“I can hear… hear you guys. Besides, I’m… I’m fineeeee.” Buford finally managed to stand up, though his balance was horrible and he looked like he was about to fall over at any moment.
“He is obviously not fine. Besides, zese zings happen, you’re not perfect, your parents know zat. Now help me help him outside.”
Jacob nodded, leaning on one side of Buford while Renee leaned on the other. Slowly but surely, they walked him out to the front porch, sitting him on the bench. While Jacob got Buford situated, Renee started to walk away.
“Where are you going?” Jacob asked, remembering the last time he let one of his friends out of his sight.
“I’m just-” Renee began, before Buford interrupted her.
“She’s going to make out with Thomas! Haha!”
Renee glared at Buford, begging him to shut up before she made him do just that. “No, you drunken buffoon. I’m making a phone call and letting ze police know about zis little… get togezer.”
“Oh, my bad.” Buford laughed nonsensically to himself. It appeared that while he normally had a very small filter, drunken Buford had none so to speak of.
“I’ll catch up wiz you two once everyzing is all settled, alright?” Seeing Jacob nod, she continued. “Take care of him, make sure he doesn’t do anyzing, Bufordy.”
“I can only try, Renee, I can only try.” Seeing Renee disappear, Jacob sighed, taking out his phone. He had a couple of calls to make himself. Nervously dialing the number he knew by heart, he waited for somebody to pick up. “Hey, Daniel? Can you come get me? This party is not what I expected at all. I’ll tell you about it later, just… come get me, thanks, love you, bye.”
Hanging up, he turned back to Buford. “You feeling any better, buddy?”
“A little, but that’s because I’m with you.” Buford smiled, before suddenly frowning. “But… But that’s the problem.”
“What’s the problem?”
“I don’t knowwww!” Buford wailed, looking like he was about to burst into tears at any given second. “I… I...never had the confidence to tell you this… but now I suddenly do so… so… uh… I love you!’
At that moment, Jacob felt like he was going to pass out, all those thoughts involving Buford coming back at full force. Did Buford actually love him back? Did he love Buford too? It was all so confusing, and yet, sure he could reject Buford, but that would make him a huge jerk, and it could just be the alcohol making Buford say that, but if only for a moment, Jacob wanted to love Buford, he wanted to see what would happen.
“I know you think love is grossss but-” Buford was interrupted out of his ramble by Jacob picking him up and kissing him as hard as he could, not caring who saw.
Out of everything that happened tonight, this had to be the best thing that conspired, for both of them. Young Jacob had thought that he would simply never fall in love, the thought making him gag, but here he was, not caring anymore about any of that, just wanting to be right here and now with someone who was perhaps even more than his best friend.
Finally breaking apart, the two looked into each other passionately, Buford cocking his head. “You… feel the same wayyy? I… I thought you hated loveeee-”
“That was before, this is now.” Jacob responded, silencing Buford. “ Please don’t tell me this is the you know what that’s making you feel like this.”
What if it was? What if Buford was just so drunk he thought he was in love, but this was just a spur of the moment thing and he didn’t love the boy, but now Jacob had fully realized his love for Buford, only to have it be unrequited? A couple of days ago, back when Jacob was still pushing aside his true feelings, it wouldn’t be too big of a deal, but now, at this very moment, Buford loving him back meant everything. Not only would Buford probably feel awkward about the whole thing and might not even want to hang around Jacob anymore, Jacob wouldn’t be able to feel that same spark ever again, and for some reason, it terrified him.
“Noooo…” Buford muttered to himself. “Of course not. I’veeee felt like this for a very long time, a very long time. But like I said, I never had the courage to admit it until… until now. I just didn’t expect you to feel the same wayyyy….”
“Well I do, Buford, I do.” Jacob looked at Buford, smiling. “Also, repeating things is my thing.”
Buford nodded, looking at Jacob as well. For a second, all was perfect and everything would be alright. Until Buford retched, puking all over Jacob’s coat. “Sorry, still don’t feel all that well, I guessssss.”
While having Buford’s vomit on him was pretty gross, Jacob honestly didn’t mind, it could be washed off, right? “That’s okay, Buford.”
“Also, I’m sorry for drinking that stuff. I didn’t know what it was and-”
“It’s not your fault, they shouldn’t be serving alcohol here anyways!” Jacob stated. “Renee will call the police and they’ll get this party shut down. Just try not to drink stuff that you don’t know, alright?”
“Okayyy…”
By the time Daniel finally arrived, Buford had passed out, his head on Jacob’s lap. The siblings managed to get the drunk boy into the car, sitting him in the backseat. Jacob decided to stay in the backseat as well, mostly to keep Buford company, even if the boy was in an extremely deep sleep at the time.
Back at Jacob’s house, Buford was placed on the couch, snoring deeply, while Jacob recounted the story of what happened to his parents.
“And that’s what happened. I know I should’ve done more, I know.” Here it comes, disappointment, Jacob figured. It was his fault he didn’t keep an eye on Buford, wasn’t it?”
“Well, I for one think you handled it very well,” His mom began. “You knew this wasn’t a good party and decided to leave, which is what you should do.”
“Thanks, mom, It’s just, I feel guilty about losing Buford and all that.”
“These things happen, but you did your best to help him out when he was at his most vulnerable, which was very mature of you.”
His dad laughed. “I’m just glad you and Buford finally got around to it.”
“Morty!”
“What? Did everyone know? Everyone?!” Jacob just about shrieked, wondering how obvious his ‘hidden’ feelings were.
“Let’s just say everyone and their mother knew. Congrats.”
Jacob sighed at his dad’s comment, looking at Buford sleeping on the couch. You know, this wasn’t so bad. The party might’ve been a disaster, a few people were arrested, if Renee’s phone call just a few minutes prior was true, and his best friend might have the nastiest hangover the following morning, but Jacob couldn’t care, his confusing feelings were finally solved, for the better.