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Hinata just might be the type that’s never deterred by anything. Even when he and Hinata open their university acceptance letters together with bated breath, envelopes tearing the only sound in the silence of Hinata’s room, and find no overlap in the pile of acceptance and rejection letters—Hinata meets Kageyama’s apprehensive gaze, no fear in his own eyes, and smiles.
“Stop looking so gloomy, Bakageyama. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.”
Still—Kageyama shifts his gaze to stare down at the various letters in his hands, all the different letterheads of the universities he applied to that Hinata didn’t, all the ones he got accepted where Hinata didn’t and vice versa. The longer he looks, the more real it is—Hinata’s absence is already settling deep in his bones.
Hinata makes a noise of discontent and yanks the letters out of Kageyama’s hands. “C’mon, you’re gonna ruin your face even more if you keep it stuck looking like that.”
Kageyama glances at him and scowls, but there’s no heat to it. “There’s nothing wrong with my face.”
“So don’t go ruining it! Geez!” Hinata puts all the letters in a misshapen pile, face softening a bit as he does, eyes running over all the lines of congratulations and condolences. “Hey, are you okay?”
Kageyama takes a moment before humming in affirmation.
“You know this doesn’t mean anything, right? We’re still gonna make it to the top of the world together. What’s a few years honing our skills without one another in the face of a future on the Olympic team?” Kageyama can see Hinata’s demeanor soften a little, gentle smile on his face, maybe a hint of arrogance in it. Still, Kageyama stays silent. “C’mon, Bakageyama. You have to use your words.”
Hinata is right—this doesn’t mean as much as it seems. The Olympics are still very much in their reach. Besides, they need to grow and choose their own paths regardless of one another—that’s why they didn’t plan out university decisions together in the first place. Kageyama knows this, and yet he can’t help the anxiety, the melancholy, snaking through him at the prospect of losing Hinata after all this time together. Not being able to have Hinata egg him on and rile him up every day, not being able to see that stupidly bright smile directed towards him, not being able to just be close to him—
“Hey.” Hinata’s frowning, now, something glinting in his eyes. “Tobio.”
There’s a second more of silence, and when Kageyama doesn’t reply, the glint in Hinata’s eyes turns to something dangerous. Hinata shifts himself to be in front of Kageyama, gently pushing at Kageyama’s arm, probably trying to forcibly get his attention, but to no avail.
That’s when Hinata scowls, getting on his knees and placing his hands on Kageyama’s shoulders as he leans over him. Then, abruptly—Hinata climbs over him and pushes him down forcibly, moving his arms to either side of Kageyama to support himself. Kageyama startles, snapping out of his thoughts, staring up into Hinata’s deep, deep brown eyes filled with irritation.
“Tobio,” he snaps. “You can’t just get stuck in your head like that. You have to talk to me, you know?”
Kageyama averts his gaze. “It’s just… I’ll miss you, I guess.”
“You think I won’t?” Hinata rebutts sharply. “Of course we’re gonna miss each other. It’s gonna suck. But it’ll suck even more if you can’t just—accept it and roll with the punches. Enjoy the time we have left with one another.”
Kageyama exhales gently. Hinata seems to take this as a cue to continue. “It’s not like we’re never gonna talk to each other again. There’s video chatting and all that stuff—and we’ll have so many stories to tell one another every time we talk, you know? And we’ll see each other during breaks, and summers, and see how much better we’ve gotten without one another, and—” Hinata breaks out into a grin. “It’s not so bad, you know. It’ll be fun.”
Kageyama shifts his eyes to meet Hinata’s gaze again and is almost taken aback by the sheer emotion in it, the overflowing hope and anticipation. Hinata isn’t scared at all. No, he’s ready to step forward into the future and make the best of it, no matter what. Kageyama’s heart skips a beat.
“We aren’t leaving one another behind,” Hinata murmurs, staring deep into Kageyama’s eyes. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
Kageyama, for lack of anything to say, pulls Hinata down and kisses him. And, as always, Hinata meets him where he is and kisses back—gently, but not without feeling. As Hinata’s weight holds him down, grounds him, Kageyama thinks maybe he’s wrong to be so scared.