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Petra shook her head in disbelief, “You are joking-”
“-Why would I joke about this? It’s true, I heard it from Jackie, who heard it from Matt who was told Mike who heard it from Hanji,” Oluo said.
“I mean are you sure it was definitely a Valentine’s day gift? Maybe he was just browsing... or buying something for his dad.”
“Uh yeah no. I don’t know any guy who is going to buy his dad Valentine’s themed chocolate.”
“Ok point taken but..”
Levi buried his head in his textbook to feigned studying while simultaneously trying to block out the conversations that were going around him. It was all the same wherever he went. It was all anyone in his school could talk about. Erwin Smith, the school’s resident heartthrob has been seen buying a Valentine’s day gift.
“Can’t believe he’s actually interested in someone again. I guess he finally got over Marie.”
Levi wasn’t very successful in tuning out the conversations completely. Mostly because Oluo had a voice akin to a foghorn on a freighter. He cursed himself for forgetting his headphone today because every time he hears someone talking about Erwin’s new object of affection it felt as if a metaphorical dagger was stabbing at his heart.
The thing is Levi was in love with Erwin. He has been since his first year of high school. Erwin, the most popular boy in their high school, had the deadly triple combo of good looks, top grades and a charming personality. No wonder pretty much every girl (and some boys) instantly fell in love with him.
Levi, the school’s resident star athlete was apparently no different. Though he admits it was never love- at- first sight for him. Levi would even go as far as to say it was more hate at first sight. Something about Erwin rubbed him the wrong way when he first encountered him in chemistry. He barely talked to him and would occasionally scoff and roll his eyes at Erwin whenever he answered the correct answer in class.
Though that all changed when they sat next to each other the semester after in history class. It all began with Levi forgetting his book and Erwin who noticed that immediately moved his desk closer to him so they could share a textbook. While Levi was a bit prickly at first they eventually started to talk with each other. Their banter came easily and Levi found soon enough they have the same sense of humour.
That day Mr Smith almost kicked his own son out of his class because Erwin laughed out loud at one of Levi’s shitty jokes (pun-intended). It didn’t take long for their friendship to blossom outside the classroom and soon after Erwin and Levi started hanging outside of school. In a short time, Levi and Erwin became the best of friends.
Which was around the same time Levi fell for his best friend too. He couldn’t have stopped his feelings even if he wanted to and the thing is he’s been in love with Erwin for over two years but unable to do anything about his feelings. Not because he was being a coward. Far from it, he just never got the chance.
For the time Levi had known each other Erwin had a girlfriend, Marie. They’ve been a couple since middle school. They have been informally dubbed by everyone in the school as the “Golden Couple.” The name probably came from the fact they both have blonde hair but Levi believed it was because they were always sickly sweet. Anyone who looked at them could see Marie adored Erwin and Erwin loved her in return. They were the very definition of relationship goals…
...Which is probably why it came as a massive shock to everyone when Marie broke up with Erwin at the end of last year.
Erwin was devastated. He became even more distraught when he found out that Marie started dating his childhood friend Nile pretty soon after their break up.
Levi comforted Erwin any way he could. He felt so sorry for his best friend and cursed Nile and Marie for putting Erwin through the pain.
After the drama with Marie many people in the school were convinced that Erwin would not date again- at least while he’s in high school. Most just assumed that Erwin would not get over Marie, at least for a very long time. Those people who believed that had their suspicions confirmed whenever someone confessed their feelings to Erwin and he politely turned them down.
Which explains why the school was a buzz when it was revealed that Erwin was seeing buying Valentine’s day chocolate. Any rumours that the chocolates were actually just for Marie were instantly proven wrong when some students in Marie’s class said that she’s allergic to cocoa.
After that revelation, the rumour mill became a free-for-all. Never mind if Erwin was seen buying chocolates the day before; people were already speculating, eliminating and reevaluating who about the mystery person who managed to snare the heart of one Erwin Smith.
Some--Well one person was even brave enough to ask Levi (it was Hanji). Levi gave them his patented murderous glare and told them to “Fuck off!”
Hanji let him go...for now. Though Levi assumed it was a matter of time before they try again. Hanji was unbearably relentless like that.
The truth is Levi didn’t know who the mystery crush is. Even to him, it felt like it came out of nowhere. Because post-his-beak-up Erwin’s been hanging out with Levi more than ever- now that he no longer had a girlfriend and he suddenly had a lot of free time.
Levi loved hanging out with Erwin more now but it was also felt like torture for Levi. Having the object of your affections be so close to you but still just out of reach...It killed Levi on the inside.
The thing is he should have just confessed to Erwin when Marie broke up with him. He’s been holding his feelings for two years and now it was his chance to get it over and done with. Erwin would either accept his feelings or he doesn’t. Either way, Levi could finally move on from his feeling for him- but Levi couldn't do that. Not when Erwin was at his most vulnerable. Erwin needed his friend’s support and who knows what would happen between them if Levi confessed to him when Erwin just got his heartbroken.
“Hey, Levi?”
Levi raised his gaze up from the textbook he wasn’t reading and looked directly at Petra. She had her hands clasped in front of her. Oluo was behind her cowering in the background. Levi internally sighed. He can already guess what Petra was going to ask him even before she opened her mouth. “What is it?” He asked a little harsher than usual.
“Are you okay, with this?”
Levi tried to keep his face neutral. Though he’s pretty sure it just came out like a terrifying glare because Oluo whimpered like he just shit his pants. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because...I thought-”
“-Well you thought wrong! I’m really happy he found someone.”
Petra winced and Levi felt instantly awful for snapping at her. She was the only person besides his mother who knew the full extent of his feelings for Erwin. Though Levi suspects everyone else in his friendship group is at least aware of it. Not that they had the balls to ask him directly to confirm it.
“I actually helped him buy the presents,” Levi admitted in a bit more dulcet tone.
“You what?! Levi-”
“-Like I said as long as he’s happy I’m happy too.”
Petra’s stared silently at Levi. Her eyes were full of pity. She really did not look like she believed what he just said. However, Petra wisely did not press Levi anymore. “If you need to talk I’m here,” she said before going back to her corner in the library to study with Oluo.
Levi raised his textbook on the Russian Revolution up to hide the fact his forehead was on top of the desk. He really wished Petra wasn’t right. Cause it’s true. Levi wasn’t ok with this.
Then why the hell did Levi helped him out yesterday? He literally played an active role in sabotaging his any chance he had with Erwin.
Levi was in his room yesterday, playing Kingdom Hearts on his Switch instead of studying when his phone rung. When Levi recognised the caller ID displaying on his phone and he could feel the beat of his heartbeat quickening...
Yes! He was in that deep.
Levi paused his game and swiped his thumb to answer his phone. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Levi? Hello...So how are you?”
Levi brows narrowed. Erwin was never formal with him like this. “How am I? What the hell Erwin? We just talked to each other in school.”
“Yeah, true. Haha…My bad.” Erwin nervously laughed. Levi could almost hear Erwin tapping his fingers anxiously in the background.
Erwin was acting very weird. Despite his easy smiles and friendly demeanour Erwin kept most of his true emotions to himself. In a way, he’s a lot like Levi in that respect. Though instead of a murderous glare Erwin hid his thoughts behind a charming smile. So for someone like Erwin to outwardly display his emotions so brazenly indicated there was something that was really wrong. Levi stood up in his chair and leaned forward holding his phone closer to his ear. “What’s going on Erwin?”
“I…Uh.” Erwin paused. “The thing is...I just need your help.”
Levi pushed his chair back immediately and stood up. “Anything! Do you need me to come wh-”
“-No! It’s nothing serious.” Erwin assured quickly- probably realising what he just said made it sound like he’s in some kind of trouble. “I’m at the mall…I’m shopping right now-”
Relieved that Erwin’s not in any real danger Levi sat down on his bed. “-Well that’s what most people usually do at the mall.”
“Haha...yes...” Erwin said again, with a burst of anxious forced laughter on his lips. He paused for a moment. The silence dragged on for seconds and Levi patiently waited until Erwin was able to gather up the words to say, “...Can you help me buy a Valentine’s day gift?”
Levi’s felt his breath getting sucked dry from his lungs and his heart twisted painfully. He wanted to end the phone call. Levi wanted to tell Erwin he wasn’t good at romance or buying presents. Anything to stop himself from further exposing to immense heartache- but he didn’t. He loved Erwin so much he would rather see him with another if it meant he was happy. So he kept his voice still and asked, “I’m not good at presents but who are-”
“-So I’m in Lindt Chocolate shop.”
“Uh, ok,” Levi frowned at Erwin’s abrupt change of topic. ‘Why the mystery?’ he wondered. ‘Was it because it’s someone I know?’ Either way, it didn’t make it feel Levi any better. In fact, it made him feel worse knowing that it might be someone close to both of them. ‘After all this time...You still can’t think of me anything more than a friend can you, Erwin?’
“-So they have mint flavoured chocolate.”
Erwin voice on the phone bought Levi back into reality and he steeled himself from his feelings. He was Erwin’s best friend and right now he needed his help from making a grave mistake like buying his crush mint chocolate. “Tch, toothpaste flavoured chocolate? Only if they have bad breath.”
“Point taken…Uh what about milk chocolate with marshmallows?”
“Isn’t that just your favourite?”
“Yes but the thing is I never seen them eat chocolate before and I don-”
“Dark chocolate, 90% cocoa. That is the only valid type of chocolate.”
“You eat chocolate?” Erwin asked curious at the revelation.
“Only rarely,” Levi admitted. “Mum brings a block once a month. It doesn’t last long in our house and sometimes I eat a piece when she’s not looking.”
“Ahh ok. You are brave...Still 90% cocoa? Bro you guys might as well be licking a cocoa bean at that point.”
“Please tell that to mum next time you are over,” Levi challenged as they fell back to their usual banter.
“Uhh...no thank you!” Erwin replied quickly. Erwin loves Levi’s mum just as much as he is afraid of her. He’s smart enough to know not to piss her off not unless Erwin wants a swift whack on the head.
The last time he pissed her off was when Erwin forgot to eat his meals for an entire day because he was studying so hard. When Kutchel heard about it when she came to pick up Levi from the library after a study session; she whacked Erwin on the back of his head with her palm. Kutchel then drove him to their home and force-fed him an entire quiche while yelling at him for being such an idiot. Erwin never skipped a meal after that. Kutchel’s wrath was one of the very few things Erwin was deathly afraid of.
“-Ok, so they have chilli dark chocolate.” Erwin said changing the topic to something less scary.
“-Do you want your crush to have diarrhea?”
“-Umm Orange and Almond?”
“No!”
“Raspberry?”
“Why would you ruin a bar of perfectly good chocolate with that shitty fruit?”
Erwin did eventually buy some chocolate. While he did somewhat take Levi’s advice and bought a box of 90% cocoa, dark chocolate in the shape of little hearts- but it was filled with marshmallow filling. At least Levi tried to take his friend in the right direction, albeit he was only half successful.
Erwin graciously thanked Levi for his help and hung up.
Levi collapsed on his bed and threw his phone to the side. His heart ached so much he felt he could breathe. Erwin had a crush and it wasn’t him…
“-Oh no!”
Petra’s voice broke Levi from his thoughts and he raised his head to take a look at her in concern. Her head was turned towards Levi and her eyes were filled with even more pity than before.
Confused but he didn’t have a moment to think about it because he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He reached out and grabbed his phone to check who texted him while mouthing to Petra, “Are you alright?”
She didn’t say anything. Petra held her phone close to her and had a conflicted look on her face. Opposite to her Oluo appeared exactly the same.
Perplexed now more than ever Levi gazed at his phone. The message was from Hanji and they simply wrote, “I’m so sorry,” with a picture attached to it.
The photo was a selfie of Hanji kissing Moblit on the cheek during Chemistry class; while holding a brown bear with glasses and a lab coat. Though that wasn’t what caught Levi’s eyes and made his heart feel like it shattered like glass. The pain was so raw and powerful Levi wanted to hold his chest to stop the pain.
Behind Moblit and Hanji were two figures with blonde hair. It was instantly unmistakable who they were. It was Erwin giving a smiling Marie a bouquet of red roses and white lilies.
The bell rang, signalling the end of his free period. Levi quickly shoved his things in his bag. He had to get out of here.
“Levi?” Petra called out for him as he left. She made a move to follow him out when Levi didn’t respond- but Oluo grabbed her hand and shook his head.
Levi wanted to leave the library and just get away from it all- but with each step, his emotions overwhelmed him. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. His breath was actually coming out in small gasps. So he changed direction and went up the stairs to the fiction section of the library. Near the quick-reads bookcase, there was a chestnut coloured door that led to a small lecture room. The lights being out indicated to Levi that there was no one there- good.
He just couldn’t take it anymore. Levi should have done this since yesterday when he found out Erwin was buying a Valentine’s day gift.
Levi closed the door behind him and reached into his green-coloured uniform blazer and took out his phone and dialled it.
The phone rang three times before she picked it up, “Levi? Is everything alright? ” Kutchel asked her voice laced with concern. Levi never called her when she was at work. He almost exclusively texted her- mostly to let her know he’s going to be home late due to an unplanned soccer practice session.
Levi held the phone close to him. “Mum-” his voice cracked before he could say anything more.
Now more alarmed that ever Kutchel asked, “Baby what’s going on? Do you need me to drive over to school? I’ll be there in-”
“-Erwin’s back with Marie,” Levi blurted out. He felt tears pooling in his eyes and he blinked them back. Now that he’s by himself Levi was struggling hard to keep his emotions in check.
“Oh, my poor baby...I’m so sorry-”
“-I want Erwin to be happy but it hurts mum. Why does it hurt?” Levi cried out as the tears escaped from his eyes and dripped down his face. He wiped them away furiously but now that the dam broke he couldn’t stop the tears flowing down.
His mother paused for a moment until she said, “I’m coming to pick you up.”
“No! Please don’t!” Levi responded quickly.
“Levi, you’re crying. I’m not going to leave you alone.”
“Please mum, people will know why I left”
Kutchel scoffed, “Since when did you care about what other people think?”
“What if Erwin found out?”
“He doesn’t have to know. I’ll just tell the school you had an emergency dental appointment”
The offer was tempting. Very tempting. Levi brushed the tears off his face while his mother patiently waited for his answer. He almost wanted to say yes but it was never in Levi’s nature to run away whenever trouble came in his way.
Plus what if Erwin did find out? The rumour mill was rife in their school. If Levi left school suddenly the people around him would immediately notice. He doubted it will take someone astute like Erwin to put two and two together on exactly why he may have left.
Even if that doesn’t happen then there was, of course, the human loudspeakers that was Hanji and Oluo. Both of them long suspected of Levi feelings for Erwin. He wouldn’t put it past them, especially Hanji to confront Erwin. He had to keep his emotions in check and get to the Cafeteria. The last thing he wants was to lose his friendship with Erwin because his friends made a wrong comment about him.
So Levi steeled himself and told his mum, “Thanks but I can’t miss class”
“You are a smart boy, I’m sure you can catch up later.”
“Tch! Is my own mother telling me to cut class?”
“Maybe…"
“I don’t want to. I...It doesn’t feel right, running away.”
“Ok…I can understand that. Then tell me do you have any classes with Erwin?”
“Not today...”
“Well, that’s something...Baby are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up from school?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Alright, call or text me anytime if you change your mind...”
“…I will, thanks.”
“Anytime baby...I have to say I’m shocked though.”
Levi’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”
“Well...I just-really thought he...well...”
“...liked me?” Levi finished his mother's sentence as his breath forcefully exhaling in a resigned sigh.
“Well yeah…”
“...I guess he really was never over Marie.”
“That’s the thing I don’t get...I don’t know I guess I thought better of him.”
“What do you mean?” Levi asked, perplexed.
"Well...is it like him to cheat? Also, the new boyfriend is one of Erwin’s friends, right? It just doesn’t seem like some he would do.”
That gave Levi pause. He was so upset by the picture, that thought didn’t even cross his mind. Because his mother was right. Erwin would never cheat.
Also, despite the fact that Marie cheated on him with his oldest friend, not once did Erwin ever said anything bad about either Marie or Nile. Hell Levi bitched about them more than Erwin ever did and he wasn’t even the one who was betrayed.
The gears started turning in Levi’s mind as his mind wandered off to Gym this morning. Nile was missing. Someone mentioned the fact he had a bad cold. ‘Wait…was Erwin-‘
- His phone started beeping. Levi took it away from his ear and gazed down- Erwin’s caller ID appeared on his screen. The phone displayed two options; reject or accept the call.
Levi elected to do neither. Instead, he held his phone close to him and said, “Mum can I call you back?”
“...Yes, is everything ok?”
“...I’m not...I think so.”
“Ok if you are sure but call me anytime.”
“Yeah…bye mum.”
By the time Levi said goodbye to his mother his phone stopped ringing. A loud ‘ding’ indicated a text message that instantly came through to say he missed Erwin’s call.
Just as he was about to dial back another iMessage appeared on his phone. “Hey Hanji hide my Chem textbook and they wouldn’t tell me where they left it 😫 Can you help me find it, please?🙏”
Levi’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard. He wasn't sure how to respond. One part of Levi’s brain was saying, ‘Just ignore it. You are just fooling yourself.’ Then the other part...a louder section of his mind filled with hope said, ‘Just text him back.’
In the end, he let his instinct decided for him and he typed back, “Sure, where are you?”
“Thank you!!🙏🙏 I’m in Chem lab 3.”
“See u soon.”
Levi pocketed his phone and headed towards the Chemistry labs. The halls were mostly empty with students running off outside to brave the cold or just stay inside the warm Cafeteria.
It didn’t take him long to reach the labs. Fortunately, it was quite close to the library. He opened the door to Lab three and was immediately taken aback by the darkness. The blinds were closed on every window and the lights were off.
Levi scanned his eyes around with the little light that was illuminating from the hallway to search for Erwin- but he was nowhere to be found. He could almost make out a silhouette of an object(s) on one of the lab desks but it was clearly not a person. “Erwin?” he called out- but he didn’t get an answer.
Utterly perplexed Levi wondered, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ His right hand brushed across the wall searching for the light switch. When he found it he switched it on and Levi’s eyes immediately squinted at the bright light.
After his eyes adjusted his gaze turned towards the aforementioned pile on the table. He initially thought it would be lab equipment or something- but it was far from it.
The first thing his eyes fixed onto was the comically large bouquet leaning against the white laboratory walls on a lab table. It was filled with a combination of golden-coloured roses, deeply scarlet poinsettias and, ‘Is that mistletoe?!’
The flower bouquet actually would look more at home as a Christmas centrepiece due to the choice of flowers and because it was so absurdly huge - nonetheless it was a gorgeous flower arrangement.
Flanking the flowers was a large, lipstick red Valentine’s day card with white lettering.
The above them both was two pastel-pink balloons that read, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’
Mesmerised by the flowers, the card and the balloons Levi moved closer to take a better look at it. That was when he spotted the heart-shaped, pink box with a golden outer rim next to the bouquet. Upon closer inspection, Levi could read the label- and it said, ‘90% Cocoa with Marshmallow filling…’
“...Happy Valentine’s Day!” A familiar voice greeted nervously behind him.
Levi turned around and met face to face with Erwin. He was anxiously smiling at Levi. His eyes fixed at him trying to gauge his reaction to the surprise- but nothing happened. Levi stayed still, he was trying to process what the hell he just saw and what it implicated.
When it became clear Levi wasn’t going to say anything Erwin said pointing at the flowers, “I know the bouquet isn’t traditional. I was going to buy a cliched bouquet with red roses but then I saw the poinsettias and it reminded me of you and your birthday so I had to pick them...The roses are the same colour as your soccer team…Now that I think about it that is a bit weird...I should have just bought roses and lilies like Nile-”
“-It’s not weird,” Levi interjected. Talking for the first time since he came inside the lab. He still couldn’t believe it, this all felt like some sort of dream. Was Erwin really-
“-I got you chocolate too. I know you said 90% cocoa is the only valid chocolate but they had marshmallow too and I thought it would be nice to combine both our favourite flavours...oh god now that I’m saying that out loud I sound really self-serving. I’m not used to buying Valentine’s Day Chocolate cause I never had to-””
Levi’s eyes shot up and he glared Erwin warningly for being so self-deprecating. After doing something this thoughtful and romantic how could Erwin say something like this?
Erwin began to ramble. A nervous tick he had whenever he felt extremely anxious. “-I know this is sudden but I just had to let you know how I felt-”
“-Erwin-”
“-and you don’t have to accept my feelings-”
“-Wait just a fuc-”
“-I really like you more than a friend…and I understand if this is too much and you don’t feel-”
Erwin didn’t get to finish his sentence. Levi’s pulled Erwin down in a poor attempt of a kiss to shut him down and spiralling any more.
It was Levi’s first kiss, he had no idea what he was doing. Though Levi was pretty sure teeth shouldn’t be the first thing that should meet in a kiss but he didn’t care- cause Erwin got over his initial shock and leaned in and held him closer to reciprocate the kiss.
At the time sixteen-year-old Levi no idea not only would Erwin be his first kiss but he’ll be the only person he’ll ever kiss. He would be the only man he would date. The only person he would marry. The only man he would wake up next to each day and grow old together.
He wasn’t aware of the entire lifetime he’s going to have creating more new memories with Erwin. Right now Levi was too busy feeling the warmth Erwin’s lips over his own for the first time.
The kiss was chaste but it overwhelmed them both. After years of pining, this one singular kiss answered yes to the question they were both hoping for.
When they broke the kiss Levi’s gazed dipped and as he looked up at Erwin’s bright, blue eyes and handsome face he was pleasantly surprised to see how red Erwin was. Levi was certain he probably didn’t look any better but that thought didn’t linger too long in his mind. He stroked Erwin’s face and asked, “Is that enough of an answer to you?”
Erwin nodded. “Yeah...” He then grinned mischievously, “Though I wouldn’t mind getting another yes though.”
“Tch, so greedy,” Levi complained but leaned up to meet Erwin for another kiss.
They spend most of their lunchtime with Erwin teaching Levi how to kiss.
They also managed to short-circuit the school rumour mill.
Specifically when both Erwin and Levi eventually walked into the school Cafeteria holding hands and began feeding each other chocolates.
That was also the day Levi found out that 90% Cocoa was not the only valid chocolate type- adding marshmallows made it taste even better than he could have ever imagined.
- The End