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It had been a while since you last saw Mike – since that infamous dinosaur incident.
Pretty much everyone at UNIT was already over it and all seemed to be back to normal, but not for you. You were still stuck, still heartbroken; there was not a minute when your thoughts didn’t wander off to Mike. Why had he done it? Why hadn’t he talked to you? Had the trust between you and him been a mere illusion? And then, you would find yourself teary-eyed, hovering over the paperwork you were supposed to be reading, fighting back the despair, failing to remain whole. What’s worse, sometimes others would find you, only to see you wipe your nose and get back to work like nothing had happened… You were a responsible adult, after all.
Until one day the Brigadier finally decided to do something about it. A notice on your desk would normally concern you, but you seemed to have lost all capacity to feel anything but numbness.
“You wanted to see me, sir?”
The Brig gestured at you to enter his office. You did, not daring to sit until he prompted you and sat by his desk himself. Then he crossed his arms and looked at you, eyes stern, making you understand for the first time what it was like to be silently reprimanded.
“I’ve heard concerning news about you, miss L/N,” he started.
“Am I doing my job wrong?”
“No,” his face remained unamused. “No, not at all. Quite the contrary – you seem to be doing your job remarkably well for someone who’s worrying everyone.”
You decided to play the fool just for a while longer. “Worrying? Surely, if my performance is good, there’s no need to worry?”
The Brigadier then stood up, and you realised there was no use trying to fool this man. He wasn’t the Brigadier for nothing; he was the best, the most devoted soldier you’d ever seen. But he was also one of the kindest people in general.
Handing you a piece of paper, he returned to his seat. You looked down at it to read the contents.
“Health leave?!” Your voice cracked as you turned your pleading eyes to the Brig. “For a month?”
“Precisely.”
“But… I don’t—it’s not—”
“You’re obviously not doing well, miss L/N.” The Brigadier cut you off, not accepting any kind of objection. “You shall rest and return until your mental health improves.”
“You know very well, Brigadier, that UNIT can’t afford to care for mental health of every employee.” A grimace clouded your features. “It would be more reasonable to just fire me.”
“It wouldn’t be reasonable to fire one of my best workers. Besides…” The Brig fell silent. When you looked into his eyes, he seemed sad, plain and simple. It only lasted for a while though, only to disappear like a mirage after a second. “It’s an order. You’re going on a leave and that’s final. Dismissed.”
There was nothing else you could say or do, and you didn’t even have the energy to argue. Clutching the leave notice, you bowed your head slightly, then left.
The first two days resembled a dark splash of paint on paper – chaotic, ugly and meaningless. You had trouble getting out of the bed, let alone dressing up or cooking. On day three however, when hunger got too hard to ignore and you got up, your flat was tidied up and the fridge was full of food. A scrap of paper saying “It might help you. Get well soon. Grandma” lay on the kitchen table next to today’s newspaper that wasn’t yours; when you picked it up, an ad was marked with a thick circle.
Buddhist meditation centre, you read with growing surprise. Seriously? Grandma was lovely but you’d never expect her to resort to this. Still, since you were growing more and more miserable, bottled up alone in your flat, you decided to give it a try.
Gathering the courage to call the number in the ad, you signed up for the meditation course, booked a room and the next day, you set off.
The centre was just a small lodging house, occupied by a few people and Buddhist monks. Someone led you to your room, informing you about the meal hours, then left you to your own devices, almost as if your arrival was irrelevant to their routine. Having unpacked your things, you lay on the bed for a while, thinking: What on earth am I doing here?
Dinner was going to be your first official meeting with everyone in the centre. You didn’t see anyone on your way to the dining room, which only occurred to you as half-strange (perhaps everyone was already there, or you’d messed up the hours? Or maybe they were too focused on meditating). Upon reaching the door to what you presumed was the dining room, you took a deep breath.
And then the door opened and someone bumped into you, almost knocking you over.
“Oh goodness! I’m sorry.”
A pair of arms prevented your fall, but you hadn’t noticed; that voice sounded oddly familiar, oddly… heart-warming. The voice made your heart freeze, then race two times faster. It was the voice of the person who, as much as you hated to admit it, still affected you deeply.
“What the…”
“…Y/N?”
It was Mike.
Shocked, you literally froze, mouth hung agape as Mike Yates, ex-captain of UNIT stood before you in all his adorable glory. He hadn’t changed much, though it was weird, seeing him without a uniform. His hair was dishevelled, but he looked somewhat peaceful, way more peaceful than how you remembered him. He looked at you intently, surprised more than anything, but the corners of his lips were turned upwards in a small smile.
“Mike? What are you doing here?” You blurt out.
“I could ask you the same question.” His voice danced on the verge of hilarity. “I’m a member of the meditation course, but what are you doing here? Are you the new member Cho Je was talking about?”
“Yes, I suppose I am,” you managed to stutter, trying to look like you weren’t absolutely shaken up by meeting Mike. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Neither did I. You really shouldn’t be here.”
That stung. “I shouldn’t be here? Everyone can join the course, as far as I know? Or am I interrupting your comfort, Mike?” You barked back, nails digging into your palms so hard that it hurt.
“No, please, Y/N, it’s not like that,” Mike waved his hands defensively, expression worried. “Strange things have been happening here. I’ve already asked Sarah Jane to bring the Doctor. You should leave, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Uh-huh.” You muttered. “Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have disappeared without a word.”
Looking as guilty as he could get, Mike turned around as if to make sure no one had overheard your conversation. He then grabbed your shoulders and whispered:
“Look, I can explain. You were joining for dinner?” He pointed at the door to the dining room. “I was too actually, they just asked me to bring juice from the cellar. Come with me, we can talk on our way.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” You weren’t sure if it was okay to accompany him. After all this time, it felt awkward, but Mike’s expression finally managed to convince you.
You nodded and followed him.
There was an embarrassing silence while you two walked down the corridor, like both of you had no idea what to say. To be honest, you weren’t even sure what to think. You should be upset that Mike was interrupting your ‘recovery’, reminding you of the heartbreak. But for some reason, you just couldn’t be mad at him for the sole reason that, despite of how much he hurt you, you were still in love with him.
“So, what have you been up to?” Mike’s voice broke the silence, echoing in the empty corridor.
“Same old, same old. Doing the paperwork, making sure the Doctor doesn’t blow up the HQ…” You tried sounding cheerful, but not even you would believe the sincerity of it.
He let out a chuckle. “That sounds like him. So how did you end up here?”
“Well, I’m on leave currently,” you admitted, albeit reluctantly.
“Leave? Are you okay?”
Are you okay?
No, you weren’t, of course you weren’t. The question only emphasised the fact how badly you were doing; how pathetic and miserable you were to get forced to leave work and end up in a freaking Buddhist meditation centre, only to find yourself bumping into the man who you couldn’t seem to get out of your mind, no matter how bad you wanted to. It was the worst kind of question, the one that you’d gladly tear down like a poster from a wall, then set on fire. But you couldn’t.
You said nothing.
“I’m sorry,” mumbled Mike.
“What?” You were too taken aback to stop yourself.
“I never got the chance to apologise, did I?”
“You don’t need to apologise to me,” you replied matter-of-factly, though your voice was on the verge of shaking. “You did what you thought was right.”
Once you two reached the cellar, Mike stopped. Before taking the box of juice, he turned to you.
“I just wish I hadn’t dragged you into that mess. The dinosaurs, then this…”
“Mike, just what exactly is ‘this’?”
“Something is wrong with the people here. They claim to be meditating, when in fact, they are contacting creatures from another world.”
That sounded very much like a job for UNIT. You were about to tell Mike to call them when you remembered that you were on leave – and that he had already taken those steps.
“And why didn’t you contact me instead of Sarah Jane?” You didn’t care that this made you sound very jealous, or rather, you did, you just couldn’t help it. “I thought you trusted me.”
Mike looked at you, sadness in his eyes almost as great as yours.
“I… I wouldn’t dare. After I left UNIT, I had to fight myself every day. I would pick up the receiver and start dialling your number… And then I’d put it back,” his voice got quieter with every word. “I knew I’d broken your trust, but it didn’t feel fair to just burst back into your life and try to regain it. You deserve better than that.”
Your eyelids burned. You’d hoped you would forget him eventually, and yet, some weird whim of fate crossed your paths again. It was all unfair, so unfair. But you were glad, somehow.
“I missed you, Mike,” you whispered.
“I missed you, too.”
The embrace that he enveloped you in was awkward and delicate, almost as if he was afraid to hold you too tight. You held back the tears and just allowed yourself to savour that moment.
“Still, I meant it.” You heard his voice from above your head. “You should leave. It’s dangerous.”
“Mike, please. I’m capable of taking care of myself.”
“I know you are, it’s just that…” He looked at you pleadingly, and you knew there was no use resisting. “I’ve already done enough damage. If I can prevent you getting hurt any more, I will.”
A sigh escaped your lips.
“Can you at least tell me one thing?”
“Yes?” His eyes never left your own.
“Can we start over later?”
Mike reached over for your palm and squeezed it, reassuring smile gracing his lips.
“Thank you, Y/N. For giving me another chance I don’t deserve.”
It was the first time you’d felt joy in a very long time.
A few days later, you drove back to the centre like your life depended on it.
You weren’t exactly sure what actually had happened at the meditation centre after you had left. Something about spiders invading Earth and people getting transported to their planet. It was the courtesy of Benton that you knew about any progress UNIT made. However, when he’d told you people at the centre got badly hurt and things were getting worse, that was it.
Mike had protected you so many times before, now you were going to protect him.
Having parked in front of the building, you frantically ran inside. Somewhere along the way you bumped into Sarah; she tried to calm you down because apparently, there was no danger anymore, but you weren’t satisfied until she guided you to a certain room.
“Mike!”
He was there, lying on the bed. You rushed inside and knelt beside him, not caring about Sarah or anyone else. Mike looked weak, but he smiled as you clung to him. One of his palms caressed your head.
“Stupid, stupid Mike. Total idiot.”
“Yeah, I am.” He laughed.
“What were you thinking? You could have got yourself killed.”
“I did what I thought was right, Y/N.” Mike smiled cheekily, and you smacked his shoulder in response. “Hey, go easy on me.”
“Never, ever, do that again.”
“No promises.”
As all the stress, all the relief crashed over you like a high wave, you crashed into Mike, hugging him with all you had, not wanting to let go ever again.
And from then on, everything was going to be okay – for you, for him, and for the two of you, together.