Chapter Text
“What is love?”
Jihyo’s question was unexpected and it made Nayeon think of a certain girl that she had been crushing on for three years--Minatozaki Sana. No one knew about it, really. And if her friends learned who the girl was, they would surely be surprised because they had thought of her as the one who liked a woman like Bae Irene who happened to be the closest to the type being their class president.
Yes, that kind of woman was nice but she was more attracted to a woman who was confident, spontaneous, and could carry herself well. But the problem was, she was feeling too chicken to approach Minatozaki Sana, who exactly fits Nayeon's ideal type.
“What’s taking you so long to answer, Nayeon? It’s just a simple question.” Jihyo interrupted her thoughts and she almost forgot that she was still inside the classroom.
“Uh… It’s not a simple question, Jihyo,” Nayeon said which received a pout from her best friend.
“You’re no help, you know that?”
“You’re asking me a question that is hard to answer.”
“What? Are you kidding me?” Jihyo laughed but there was a hint of slight irritation in them. “What is love? What is so hard about it?”
“If it’s what you say, is simple, then why are you asking me?”
Jihyo groaned and almost pulled her hair. “I told you, it’s for my research paper, Nayeon!”
“Or should you say it was a research about Daniel.” She teased.
“Yah—“
Krrriiiiiiiiinggg!!!!
Nayeon threw her bag on her shoulders and hurriedly stood up. “Talk to you later, Jihyo!”
“Yah! Im Nayeon! We’re not done yet!”
Nayeon only stuck her tongue out to Jihyo and half ran to the door. She didn’t want to be confronted with questions she knew would be hard for her to answer, even if it’s for research and all. But the question remained in her head. What is love? She hadn’t really thought about it but she actually almost blurted Sana’s name.
She was about to turn the corner when the girl she was just thinking about--well, she had always thought about--was exactly walking in front of her. Her feet automatically came to a stop. She didn’t know how she looked right now but everything seemed to slow down. And Nayeon could literally see every detail. Sana was wearing a white varsity jacket with sleeves pulled up in three-fourths; eyes focused on her phone as she fixed her earphones; and, a mysterious wind touching her straight, long, blonde hair. Just like in the movies.
Nayeon just followed Sana with her eyes until she faded through the crowd of students walking towards the exit.
Sana may not be the campus’ Queen B, or Queenka as they call it, but she has an appeal and charm that could attract anybody.
Nayeon sighed. When would she have the courage to at least greet her?
But, perhaps, Sana didn’t even know she existed.
She hopelessly blew another sigh. “Stop daydreaming Nayeon.” She scolded herself and decided to go home.
The tall gates of the house welcomed Nayeon, as Mr Jang, their old guard, opened the gates for her.
“Welcome home, Ms. Im.”
“Hello, Mr. Jang.” She smiled, showing her bunny toothed smile. She just admired Mr Jang who had been working for them since she was still a kid. He never failed to welcome her everytime she came home from school.
Nayeon grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth. But her parents raised her properly. She could still remember how strict and disciplinarian her parents were. Even though they're always away on their business trips like now; their teachings, rather their scolding still haunted her. That’s why she still moved with caution around the house even without them. But from time to time, she tried loosening up, especially with their maids and butlers, which felt more like a family to her than her biological parents. (Nayeon never really knew what parents should be like.)
“I’m home.” She greeted them before she went straight to her room, changed into comfortable clothes, and went to her favourite place inside their house.
The library.
She hopped, barefooted, on the carpeted floor and traced her fingers through the line of books, choosing on what she’d read next when Sana, uninvitingly, entered her mind again. She smiled in an instant just thinking about her and how cool she looked earlier. Her hand, mindlessly, pulled out a random book as she sighed dreamily.
“Oh, God, I’m so hopeless!” She brought the book on her face, covering it, when she spotted it’s of Charles Dickens.
She sat down on a loveseat and randomly turned on a page, still fascinated with her thoughts of Sana. When a paragraph caught her attention:
“She was more than human to me. She was a Fairy, a Sylph, I don’t know what she was - anything that no one ever saw, and everything that everybody ever wanted. I was swallowed up in an abyss of love in an instant. There was no pausing on the brink; no looking down, or looking back; I was gone, headlong, before I had sense to say a word to her.”
Her eyes felt stuck on the page. Heart beating fast like it would come out of her chest. How did this book know of her feelings? The lines exactly revealed how she felt for that certain girl.
But soon, a swell of hopelessness crept in.
“… before I had sense to say a word to her.” She re-read aloud. “This is not helping.” She closed the book and threw it across. Then she brought her knees up, curling her body into a ball when a certain memory, at the school’s library, crossed her mind.
*Flashback*
Nayeon saw Sana with her best friend, Momo, entering the library. She immediately fixed her glasses and hid her face behind the book that she was reading.
Sana and Momo took a seat on a long table just next to hers.
“I really hate Math.” She heard Sana grumbled.
“It’s because that’s the only subject you keep failing,” Momo countered.
“Then please help me, Momo.”
Nayeon took a peek behind her book, and saw Sana pouting cutely at Momo.
“Let me see.” Momo peeked through Sana’s homework and they stared at it intently, until both of their brows were furrowed.
“I don’t know the answer too, Sana. When is this due?”
“Tomorrow. Ugh! This problem doesn’t make any sense.”
How Nayeon, so badly, wanted to approach and help Sana right at that moment. But it’s just not in her system to act out of the blue. Plus, the last thing she wanted was to be accused of eavesdropping, or worse, Sana thinking of her as a stalker or a creep. So, she decided not to care and continue reading.
“Momo, I have an idea.”
But how would Nayeon do it? To not care? She could hear them clearly! Maybe she should wave a “Be silent” sign at them since they’re in the library.
“What idea?” Momo asked.
Nayeon took a peek at them again thinking of really waving a “Be silent” sign. But of course Nayeon decided against it. It’s not like she had the courage to do that. She tried her best to mind her own business, instead. But Sana’s next sentence caught her attention.
“I’ll write the problem down here. And maybe someone will be nice enough to answer.”
‘Where’s “down here”?’ Nayeon thought, stealing a glance at them for the nth time. But she was watching them this time. Sana was staring at the desk, but Nayeon wasn’t sure if Sana was looking at anything in particular.
“That’s a great idea.” Momo smiled, but it soon faded. “But will it work? It’s 50-50 chance someone would answer that. It’s Math. Everyone hates it.”
Sana pouted. “Don’t be cynical. Look at these…” She began reading the vandals on the desk. “Many are answering these stupid questions like ‘am I pretty?’ That’s just stupid. I mean how can you answer that? I don’t even know what they look like, but look, someone still answered. So, I’m sure someone is going to answer my Math problem. We’ll just have to be creative.”
Nayeon snorted at Sana’s antics. But she thought it was genius.
“Okay.” Momo answered and Nayeon caught them writing down on the desk.
“… I hope someone will buy this.” Sana spoke up after.
Momo snickered. “I’m sure someone will. Let’s go.” Then they left.
Nayeon just stared frozen at the desk that the two girls had occupied earlier. Her heart was beating fast. She’s thinking of answering Sana’s math problem. She’s thinking of buying whatever Sana wrote down.
She put her book down and found herself approaching the desk. She took a deep breath.
She could feel her lungs tightening. And despite being in an air-conditioned room she felt cold sweat ran down her temples.
Why was she so nervous? It’s not like she’d be talking to Sana face to face.
She took another breath to calm her nerves. ‘Okay, Nayeon, you can do this.’
She purposely took the seat Sana had occupied (just because…).
And it was still warm and the feeling sent delicious shivers down her body.
“Focus, Nayeon.” She muttered to herself, trying to ignore the weird feeling.
Her eyes intently scanned the desk until she saw what she thought Sana had written just a minute ago - as it’s the only Math problem on the desk. She read, her face serious.
“Answer this: 9x – 7i > 3(3x-7u)
P.S. If you answered this correctly, your wish is going to come true! It’s 100% proven!;)
“Woah, really?” Nayeon chuckled. She couldn’t believe that this idea came from Sana’s head. But she’s willing to be an idiot who believed in this crap and to commit vandalism just for her.
“Okay, let’s get down to business.”
Nayeon carefully solved the problem — scared to write the wrong answer even though she finds the problem very easy. She didn’t even bother to use a scratch paper as she wrote the solution legibly.
‘ Answer: i < 3u’
She stared at her work with pride. She had helped Sana. She already feels like a hero.
“I’m not a math genius for nothing,” she muttered.
But the longer she stared at the answer, the more she saw what it was.
Her eyes widened as it sank in. It looked like she was indirectly confessing to Minatozaki Sana! Was this a trick question? Was she being played?
She quickly went back to her desk to get a piece of paper to double check her answer but the school bell had rung.
“Tsk.” She decided to just let it be and went back to class. But Nayeon never went back to the library after that incident. She’s too nervous that Sana would ignore it but she was more scared that Sana would leave a reply.
But after a week or two, Nayeon went back to the library, feeling so much ready to look for any sign if Sana acknowledged the help that she did or if Sana even bothered to leave a reply. Nayeon had been dying to know.
And to Nayeon’s relief Sana had written a reply.
It read: i<3u 2 ;) - let’s meet here after school. I’ll be waiting.
Nayeon felt hyperventilating. But she never went to meet with Sana.
*End of Flashback*
Maybe Nayeon should’ve accepted that indirect invitation from Sana. That was her only chance to introduce herself to her, and she just let it slip away. Six months had passed since that incident, and Nayeon regretted it dearly until now.
“Jennie—” Nayeon bit her tongue. She was thinking whether to ask Jennie for their volleyball practice time but she didn’t want to give Jennie the suspicion, especially she never stayed late in school. She just really wanted to see Sana play.
“Nayeon? You saying something?” Jennie was packing her things.
“I-it’s nothing.” Nayeon denied but she changed her mind quickly since it’s not bad to ask. “But err… I heard you’re going to have practice for volleyball later.”
“Yes.” Jennie said, turning to her; smiling. “Don’t tell me you’re finally going to watch.”
Nayeon’s heart skipped a bit. Jennie was looking at her with hopeful eyes; she wanted her to watch their practice.
“You never watched me, Nayeon, even in my game. Only Jihyo.” Jennie pouted. “Please, watch our practice just this time. It’s not like your parents will be looking for you. They are away.”
Jennie was right. It’s time for her to do the things that she wanted. Nayeon smiled. “Okay.”
“Yay!” Jennie couldn’t help but to hug her.
*
She and Jennie walked together to the gymnasium, when Nayeon’s phone rang. It was her dad. Her dad never called her. She suddenly found it hard to breathe, “You go on ahead, Jennie. I’ll follow.”
“You promise?”
Nayeon, hesitantly, nodded.
As Jennie left, Nayeon stared hard on the caller ID, taking a deep breath before answering.
“Hello--” She almost choked.
“Nayeon, where are you? Isn’t it your dismissal already?”
Her lungs tightened. “Yes.” She said in a whisper.
“Go home now. We have something to discuss.”
Discuss? This was all too sudden.
“Okay dad.” It took a lot of effort for her to say it without choking. Then the line went dead.
She sighed as soon as her dad ended the call. Whatever it was, she could feel in the pit of her stomach that it was not good news.
Nayeon stood frozen in her place, too devastated by how her day was turning.
She did not know how long she had been standing there when a ding from her phone broke her out of her trance. Nayeon brought up the phone to her face and saw a text from Jennie, asking her where she was and that they’d be starting soon.
Nayeon felt bad that she’d let Jennie down. “I have to call her.” She muttered as she hastily dialed Jennie’s number. After two rings, Jennie answered.
“Nayeon, where are you?”
“I’m sorry, Jennie. I won’t be able to make it. Dad suddenly called.”
There was a surprise oh from the other line. But she could hear Jennie’s understanding tone despite the disappointment.
“I see. Maybe it’s important. But-- how wrong timing.”
Nayeon couldn’t agree more. “Yeah.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Be safe home.”
“Thanks. You too. Good luck.”
Nayeon never thought her day could get any worse when as soon she got home, the first thing she heard from her dad was, “We’ll be moving to New York this weekend.”