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Jiang Cheng is nervous.
He shouldn’t be, he knows that—it’s one Sect Leader meeting another one even if Lan Qiren is just filling in the role for Lan Xichen—but he has nothing but respect for Lan Qiren and he can’t imagine why the other man would call him in, except to yell at him in that way the Lans have.
Quietly and restrained but with the disdain and disappointment dripping from every word.
Jiang Cheng wonders what he did wrong now and how Lan Qiren will reprimand him for it.
“Sect Elder Lan,” he greets Lan Qiren when he enters the room he is waiting in and Lan Qiren bows to him in response.
It’s more than Jiang Cheng expected if he is being honest.
“Sect Leader Jiang,” Lan Qiren greets him and Jiang Cheng wonders when he’ll ever get used to be called that.
He still expects his dad to answer to that title.
“You called for me?” Jiang Cheng hesitantly asks, because he isn’t used to being summoned like this, not anymore.
The Great Sects have left him in relative peace lately, and he’s grateful for that. He doesn’t want to schmooze any of them, and he honestly has his hands full with Jin Ling.
“I did,” Lan Qiren tells him, stroking his beard and then he motions for Jiang Cheng to sit.
He does, if warily so, and Lan Qiren pours him some tea. Jiang Cheng wishes he would just get it over with and tell him what’s on his mind.
Honestly, he can handle criticism and disappointment. The uncertainty right now is much harder to endure.
“Jiang Cheng,” Lan Qiren starts and Jiang Cheng wants to bristle at the informality with which Lan Qiren addresses him, but he’s honestly too tired.
And besides. If Lan Qiren is going to tell him in just how many ways he has fucked up as a Sect Leader so far, then he guesses there is no reason Lan Qiren should address him by his title.
“Sect Elder Lan,” Jiang Cheng replies warily when Lan Qiren does nothing but stroke his beard for the longest moment.
Jiang Cheng still remembers that look from his time in the Cloud Recesses. It’s not the look Lan Qiren always gave Wei Wuxian when he was being insolent and rude and disruptive, but honestly, it’s not that far off, either.
Jiang Cheng has always felt like a failure under that look and despite everything he went through, that is still the same.
He swallows nervously, because while he can handle it if someone is disappointed in him—he had to learn that rather quickly with his parents—he really doesn’t like it.
Jiang Cheng hates knowing that he is yet again not enough, that he didn’t meet expectations.
“How is the rebuilding of your Sect going?” Lan Qiren wants to know and Jiang Cheng briefly frowns at him.
Lan Xichen has been in Yunmeng Jiang just last week. He should have told his uncle all about it.
“It’s going well, Sect Elder,” Jiang Cheng says with a bow of his head. “My people are strong.”
“Jin Ling?” Lan Qiren asks next and Jiang Cheng can’t help the small fond smile.
“He’s growing up well,” he gives back.
Jin Ling is a fussy baby, true, and Jiang Cheng didn’t get a full nights sleep since Jin Ling is staying with him, but he’s growing so fast, and he’s such a precious baby.
“Good,” Lan Qiren says and strokes his beard some more. “That’s good.”
Jiang Cheng has to agree, even though it leaves him confused. Is this really all Lan Qiren wanted to know? He could have asked about that in a letter.
“As for the purpose of this visit,” Lan Qiren starts after taking a sip from his tea, and Jiang Cheng tenses in anticipation. “I guess my nephew made his intentions clear?”
“His—intentions,” Jiang Cheng repeats rather dumbly.
Lan Xichen has intentions? For what?
“He didn’t?” Lan Qiren says with a frown and looks to the side.
Jiang Cheng startles when Lan Xichen steps out from gods know where, but he is quick to fall into the appropriate bow.
For all that Lan Xichen came to him as a friend last week, Jiang Cheng still has to pay him respect.
“No need,” Lan Xichen says as he rushes forwards and stops Jiang Cheng from bowing as deeply as propriety demands. “I told you, Wanyin. There’s no need.”
“It should still be done,” Jiang Cheng gives back, trying his hardest not to acknowledge the shudder that goes through him at hearing that name from Lan Xichen’s lips, but it’s a useless battle, like always.
Still, he has to act appropriately, especially in front of Lan Qiren. There’s no need to make the list of things he’s going to get scolded for longer than it no doubt already is.
“Xichen, did you not make your intentions clear?” Lan Qiren demands to know and it’s enough to make Jiang Cheng’s mind spin again.
What intentions? Lan Xichen can’t take over the Sect, that’s just not possible, but maybe he told his uncle that someone else would be better at leading it?
Jiang Cheng hates that thought, it makes it hard to breathe, but honestly, if he is not the best for his people—and if they even have said something like that—then he’s going to step aside.
He wants Yunmeng Jiang to thrive. If he is smothering it, he will hand the reigns to someone else.
“Has my performance as Sect Leader not been satisfactory?” Jiang Cheng forces himself to ask, because he cannot stand this a second longer.
He needs to know right now.
“What?” Lan Xichen asks, clearly surprised and Lan Qiren frowns at him.
“Your performance as Sect Leader has been nothing but inspiring,” Lan Qiren seriously tells him and Jiang Cheng blinks in confusion at him. “You’re honouring your Sect’s motto in a way I haven’t seen in a long time.”
Jiang Cheng opens his mouth but nothing comes out. This cannot be true. He can’t even achieve the possible. There is no way he managed to achieve the impossible. That was always Wei Wuxian.
“I don’t understand,” Jiang Cheng honestly admits, and he’s looking at Lan Xichen, begging him to explain what this is all about.
“Jiang Cheng, has no one told you how proud of you they are?” Lan Qiren asks and that’s just absurd so Jiang Cheng laughs.
“Of course not. Why would they?” he wants to know once he calmed down and Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren share a look Jiang Cheng can’t interpret.
“Wanyin, you have done the most amazing things. You became Sect Leader at such a young age, but still you managed to rebuild Lotus Pier stronger than before. Your people love you. Surely they have told you that?” Lan Xichen asks him eventually and Jiang Cheng looks down at his hands.
Sure, his people tell him how glad they are that he is there, that he is leading them, but with the uncertain political landscape that’s really no wonder. Jiang Cheng is strong, he knows that—Zidian only helped in that regard—and he’s a good fighter.
Of course his people are glad that he is the one to protect them.
“Oh, Wanyin,” Lan Xichen breathes out, because apparently Jiang Cheng’s face is giving him away, and Jiang Cheng desperately keeps his gaze down at his hands.
It’s safer than to look at the pity in Lan Xichen’s eyes.
“Well, if they haven’t, I will,” Lan Qiren decides and Jiang Cheng raises his head to frown at him. “Jiang Cheng, I am proud of what you have done and of who you have become,” Lan Qiren says and Jiang Cheng is frozen in surprise.
Lan Qiren isn’t allowed to lie, and he doesn’t seem the type to make a joke, so this must be what he is really thinking.
Which cannot be, because Jiang Cheng knows that no one is proud of him and never has been.
“And it is my absolute pleasure to give you my blessing should you wish to accept my nephew’s courtship,” Lan Qiren goes on, and that’s it.
They must be sick or something, that’s the only explanation for what is happening right now.
“Are you feeling okay?” Jiang Cheng carefully asks, and turns his eyes on Lan Xichen who seems a little bit dejected. “Is your uncle alright? Are you?” he asks him as well, but when Lan Xichen only nods, Jiang Cheng gets up.
He doesn’t know what they are playing at, but he needs to leave right now.
“I’m sorry for the implications your uncle made,” Jiang Cheng says to Lan Xichen with a bow, because he knows Lan Xichen is simply too polite to tell his uncle what a grave mistake he made, but it needs to be said.
Jiang Cheng knows he is barely worthy of the friendship he has somehow achieved with Lan Xichen. The thought that Lan Xichen would want anything more from him would be downright laughable, if the absolute certainty of that never happening isn’t hurting Jiang Cheng so much.
“Sect Elder Lan, I hope you’re feeling better soon, and I promise I won’t bring what you said up again,” Jiang Cheng says as he turns towards Lan Qiren.
He’s surprised to see that Lan Qiren is glaring at him, now with the look Wei Wuxian always got hit with, and Jiang Cheng is surprised to find how much that hurts.
“Sit down,” Lan Qiren snaps and Jiang Cheng can do nothing but obey. “And now you will listen to me,” Lan Qiren demands and Jiang Cheng nods, because he doesn’t dare disagree. “You became Sect Leader due to horrible circumstances at an age younger than most. You rebuild your Sect, fought a war, lost your last remaining family in the most horrible way possible, and yet you still prevailed. Your Sect is—even now—one of the strongest out there, and you are a capable leader, who is adored by his people. You said they are strong. They are only strong, because their leader is, as well. So when I tell you that you have achieved the impossible, and that I am proud of you, I mean it.”
Lan Qiren’s voice doesn’t leave any room for objection and Jiang Cheng is surprised to find that his eyes are stinging with the promise of tears. He doesn’t want Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen see him cry so he bows again, even though he can’t yet find his words.
“And it seems that Lan Xichen hasn’t made his intentions all that clear,” Lan Qiren goes on, dragging an embarrassed chuckle out of Lan Xichen.
“It seems I haven’t,” he says and Jiang Cheng’s head snaps up at that.
“What?” he asks, and his voice is rougher than he would like to admit.
“When I was visiting you last week and I said I wanted to come by more often, maybe even stay some time, you agreed,” Lan Xichen says sheepishly, “so I thought you had accepted my courtship proposal. But I see now that maybe I wasn’t clear enough.”
“What courtship proposal?” Jiang Cheng demands to know and Lan Xichen nods like he was expecting that.
“I thought so,” Lan Xichen mumbles and then tilts his head as he gives Jiang Cheng a tiny smile. “Wanyin, I wish to court you. I want to come by all the time to court you and give you gifts and spend time with you. I like you and I want to do this properly.”
Jiang Cheng stares at him for a few seconds before he turns towards Lan Qiren.
“And you approve of this,” he tonelessly says, because what is even happening.
“I do,” Lan Qiren sternly tells him, and then suddenly he seems to become softer, more relaxed as he lets out a sigh. “Jiang Cheng, I know your parents failed you in that regard, but you are one of the best students I ever had the pleasure of teaching, and you are courageous and strong, and you know what is right. You can make the hard decisions, and you are just. You love your family and your people fiercely and from what I have seen, you are a wonderful uncle to Jin Ling. There is nothing in you that could make anyone be disappointed in you. I couldn’t wish for a better fellow Sect Leader and I certainly couldn’t wish for a better partner for my nephew. If you should decide to accept that proposal, of course.”
Jiang Cheng is beyond embarrassed about the tears that are streaming down his face and he tries to hide them in his hands, but of course Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen have already seen them.
“Oh, my heart,” Lan Xichen breathes out and a second later he tugs Jiang Cheng close in a hug.
Jiang Cheng tenses for a second, because surely unnecessary displays of emotions and affections are prohibited in the Cloud Recesses, but Lan Qiren is being silent. And Jiang Cheng is helpless against the comfort that Lan Xichen offers him.
Jiang Cheng can’t believe that Lan Xichen really wants anything to do with him beyond their occasional friendly visits, but Jiang Cheng has to admit that it’s everything he has ever wanted.
He’s not yet sure he really gets to have it.
“Xichen,” he rasps out and Lan Xichen strokes his hand down his back. “Do you mean it?” Jiang Cheng asks, voice muffled by Lan Xichen’s robes, but Lan Xichen must hear him, because he presses a kiss to the top of Jiang Cheng’s head.
“I do,” he promises. “I wish to court you because I like you. Because I’m in love with you,” Lan Xichen admits and Jiang Cheng can hear the words rumble in Lan Xichen’s chest, but he can also hear how fast Lan Xichen’s heart is beating.
“And I am proud of you as well,” Lan Xichen tacks on, and it causes new tears to stream down Jiang Cheng’s face.
It takes Jiang Cheng an embarrassing long time before he finds his voice again and he gently pushes Lan Xichen away before he tells him his answer.
Lan Xichen is smiling slightly at him, and even Lan Qiren still seems more relaxed than he normally does, and Jiang Cheng starts to believe that maybe he can trust this.
That they mean it.
“If you truly mean it, if you truly wish to court me, then I accept,” Jiang Cheng tells them, and he wasn’t prepared for the way Lan Xichen’s face lights up as he hears those words.
“I do,” Lan Xichen promises him and carefully takes Jiang Cheng’s hand in his. “I do mean it, and I promise to treat you right,” Lan Xichen vows to him and then leans forward to press a lingering kiss to Jiang Cheng’s cheek.
“Ahem,” Lan Qiren warningly says but still Lan Xichen is slow to pull away. “You still haven’t started the official courtship,” Lan Qiren reprimands them, and Lan Xichen regretfully lets go of Jiang Cheng’s hand.
“We should start that soon,” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng ducks his head to hide his smile.
“Don’t,” Lan Xichen whispers and raises Jiang Cheng’s head with his fingers under his chin. “Let me see how beautiful you are.”
Jiang Cheng is sure that by now his face must be an unbecoming shade of red, but Lan Xichen doesn’t seem to mind that much.
Lan Qiren’s expression on the other hand has gone a bit judging though.
“Xichen,” he warningly says and Lan Xichen finally get’s go of Jiang Cheng completely. “You can start your courtship tomorrow,” Lan Qiren decides and even Jiang Cheng is aware that it’s an unusually short time.
“He meant it when he said he approves of you,” Lan Xichen tells him, clearly able to read the thought right off Jiang Cheng’s face and Jiang Cheng presses his lips together.
It’s still hard for him to believe that an authority figure he looks up to could find him anything but lacking, and that someone as righteous and wonderful as Lan Xichen could want more than friendship with him, but now there is a grain of hope planted in his chest, that maybe they mean what they say.
Lans are not allowed to lie after all.