Chapter Text
She couldn't have asked for a better first year.
If it weren't for the whole trolls breaking into the bathroom while she was hidden in them fiasco then she would dare say that it was even perfect.
She made friends, she powered through her homework without much worry. It really couldn't have gone any better.
So why did it still feel like something was missing?
She looked up at her two friends who were currently deep in an argument about something quidditch related. She wasn't an expert on the game by any means, but her pursuit of knowledge persuaded her into listening.
Having conversations with her friends was nice. But she felt as though there could be something more.
---
After what felt like mere seconds, the train had finally arrived at the castle. She quickly flashed back to last year; her first time seeing the castle, stars glistening in the sky as the boats traversed over the dark water.
They made their way into the castle and into the great hall. She caught Malfoy giving Harry and her the stink eye but that didn't bother her nearly as much as it used to. Her friends have her back, and that's all that really matters in the end.
She takes a moment to take in the astounding amount of food, something that she was still having to get used to. Before taking her seat next to Harry and Ron.
Ron was quick to fill his plate with as much food as possible, while Harry and her just roll their eyes. Dumbledore did his standard greeting, followed shortly by Professor Mcgonnagal announcing that the first years were to be sorted into their new houses.
She witnessed kids stepping up to the hat, looking just as nervous as she had been just one year ago.
Her head was mostly found in the clouds, only breaking her silent daze when a new Gryffindor was announced; standing up and cheering with the rest of the table as was the tradition.
She sunk deeper into her mental haze. There had been three new Slytherins chosen in a row now and 5 kids had been sorted since the last new Gryffindor.
She was exhausted after a whole day of travel and couldn't wait to get to her dorm.
She was busy resting her head on Harry's shoulder; the boy was clearly just as exhausted as she was. When suddenly, she was drawn away from her fatigue; her eyes locking into an unwavering stare.
Her gaze is locked toward the sorting hat; A girl with long platinum blonde hair, mystical silvery-blue eyes sat in the chair waiting to be sorted.
Her heart flustered. She recognized her feelings toward the girl almost instantly. Was she experiencing a crush!?
She felt her heart drop down a peg when it was decided that she would be a Ravenclaw but her feelings towards her stood strong nonetheless.
Harry looked her in the eyes, clearly noticing her sudden change in mood. He didn't ask, Harry had boundaries. That was one thing that She loved about him. He simply wrapped his hand around her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze. No matter what it was that was bothering her, Harry was there for her. She looked up and smiled at him as to make certain that she showed off her appreciation.
They eventually made their way up to the common room. Hermione waved goodbye to Harry and Ron as she made her way to her dorm room.
She entered her dorm room and swiftly plopped down onto her bed. She could just unpack tomorrow, right now, she was exhausted.
She wouldn't get much sleep that night, however; her head was running one million miles a minute. She had heard of people having relationships with people of the same sex as them before. But to think that she might be one of those people was completely shocking to her. It made her endlessly excited, but frighteningly scared at the same time.
---
She noticed the blonde in class from time to time; trying her best to hide her constant staring. She desperately tried to find an excuse to talk to her and introduce herself but she just wasn't able to find it in her.
Thoughts spun constantly in her head. Repeating thoughts nasty thoughts. Thoughts about what Malfoy would do if he knew that she was both a "mudblood" and a lesbian on top of it.
Lesbian, she only learned the term recently after a session of excessive reading. It felt good to refer to herself as such. It felt... right.
---
As if her struggles with crushing on Luna (as she had come to know her by thanks to Ginny) and the excessive amount of homework wasn't enough. Rumors had spread that Harry was going to be the next dark lord incarnate due to his ability to speak parseltongue.
She was smart enough to know that these rumors were complete and utter bullshit. Unfortunately, she seemed to be in the minority in that regard.
She spent more time than usual with Harry; making sure that he was okay. The boy had been through so much she couldn't believe the cruelty of her fellow students. It angered her to no end.
---
Of course, of fucking course. Just when she finally worked up the courage to talk to Luna, they just had to find a basilisk living under the school and they just had to be the ones to save everyone from it.
It was so scary. That fucking fraud of a teacher had tried to use Ron's torn up wand against them; instead of wiping their memories as he had planned, the fool had wiped his own while simultaneously causing a cave-in; trapping Hailey down in the chamber with the basilisk. It was a miracle he came out alive.
He didn't make it out without any scars, however. His nightmares got worse, according to Ron at least. There were times where Ron would have to come up to his bed and jostle him to stop the violent thrashing.
It saddened Hermione that she was not able to help out at all. She couldn't enter the boy's dorms even if she wanted to and the thought of Ron being the sole person to comfort him worried her to no end.
It's not that she didn't trust him. She's trusted him with her life so many times already in the short span time that they've known each other. He can just be a bit obtuse when it came to reading and understanding other people's emotions sometimes.
---
And just like that, school was over and she would be returning home. She should feel happy.
So it comes as a surprise to herself that she feels even worse than ever before.
She failed to talk to Luna, she tried her best but she's not brave like her friends, she's a coward.
And if that wasn't enough she would also have to go home keeping her sexuality secret from her parents. She loved them to death which made the possibility of a negative reaction from them ever more frightening.
---
Being home sucked just about as much as she had guessed it would.
She felt trapped inside her room. She was chained; her parents couldn't know her secret. Not now at least.
That was all she could think about and the thought that she would have to come out to them eventually worried her to no end.
She started having panic attacks. During which she would experience violent images of her parents disowning her, throwing her out into the cold dark streets of London.
She never used to be one for crying. But this summer has brought out an entirely new side of her. A side that she hopes she will never have to experience again.
---
Summer lasted way too long for her liking.
That's why she beamed as she stood at the other side of platform nine and three quarters. Her eyes beaming with joy as she met up with Harry and Ron during the ride.
Malfoy did his usual thing and came into their cabin just to stir some shit. After everything she had experienced over the summer, Malloy's insults felt like a pinch of salt flung against her arm, falling off almost instantly, while still leaving behind that little bit of itchiness.
Harry and Ron were busy talking while she had her head buried in her book. God, how she missed the two of them.
Just then, there was a small knock at the door of their cabin. She opened the door not thinking twice about it and her eyes almost popped out of her sockets as soon as she could process who was on the other side of the door.
It was Luna; her platinum blonde hair and silvery-blue eyes just as mesmerizing as ever.
This was her chance. Her chance to make amends with her failures of last year and bloody talks to her.
She searched desperately to find some words but her mouth was as dry as a desert.
Thankfully, Luna was the one to take the initiative.
"Hello, sorry to bother you three but all of the other cabins are taken and I was wondering if it would be alright if I were to sit in yours."
Hermione blurted out a hurried "YES!" before the two boys were able to answer.
Luna smiled appreciatively at her and took the empty seat beside Harry.
Damnit, why couldn't she sit next to her?
The group sat in silence as the train left the station. Tension high in the air. Ron looked confused while Harry was practically glaring at her. He knew that something was up but was smart enough to know that now wasn't the time for questions.
Hermione cleared her throat awkwardly and decided to introduce herself.
"Hello, my name's Hermione, this is Harry, and this is Ron." The two of them waved nervously. "What's yours?"
She knew the answer but she desperately wanted to start a conversation with this girl and she could think of no better way to do it.
Thankfully, Luna seemed to perk up at her inquiry.
"My name's Luna, it's nice to meet all of you!" She beams happily.
"It's great to meet you, Luna!" Hermione replies bashfully.
"Thanks"
Hermione took a moment to check on Harry and Ron who were silent as the night.
"So, what classes are you taking this year?" Hermione asks, scratching at her neck nervously.
That's a conversation that lasts until the train comes to a halt. Hermione was thrilled to see that taking a gamble on guessing which classes Luna would be taking had paid off as she shared over half of her classes with her.
She felt a little guilty about basically stalking her for a month to figure out that information but she was sure that it wouldn't last for long.
---
They went through the usual routine, dinner, sorting hat. The sense of familiarity felt incredible; a sweet relief after having gone through such a stressful summer.
She shared eye contact with Luna a handful of times. They both shared a smile whenever that occurred. Luna was often the one to break contact first; Hermione just couldn't stop staring.
Harry has finally decided that he's had enough and demands that she tell him what it is that's going on between the two of them.
"I have a crush on her". Hermione blurts out. Covering her mouth as soon as she realizes what she just admitted.
She really needs to work on keeping her calm under pressure. Carrying on like this is only going to lead to further embarrassment.
Harry looks thoughtful while Ron just looks confused.
"Look, I'll explain it to you two in the library tomorrow. Don't go telling anyone though. If you do, people will have just another reason to bully me".
Hermione tried to keep her words calm and composed but they came out dry and fearful.
Thankfully, the two boys understood and nodded. Allowing her heart to slip back into a reasonable pace.
This was sure as hell going to be a long school year.