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The road to becoming a Demon Slayer was often paved with heartache and bloodshed. Most started as just children who had their innocence ripped away from them much too soon. To many Demon Slayers, the world was a cruel place; one where they fought to protect the remaining innocent few no matter what the cost.
This was not the case for a certain pink-haired Pillar. Like all Demon Slayers, Kanroji Mitsuri had lived through less than fortunate life experiences that led her to the dangerous job of slicing the necks of the world’s ungodly creatures. Despite this, Mitsuri looked past the bleakness of her world and saw it for its beauty.
If there was one thing that all of Mitsuri’s fellow Pillars knew about her, it was that the she was about as affectionate and loving as a puppy. The woman was gentle and kind, willing to do anything to help those around her. She cared deeply for everyone and took it upon herself to constantly remind them of such.
Of all those Mitsuri knew, Kochou Shinobu was most often met with Mitsuri’s warmth. With how much time they spent together as the only female Pillars, Mitsuri had become well-versed in noticing the tenseness that often hid within Shinobu’s smile. The Love Pillar had heard from the other Pillars how Shinobu had lost not only her sister, but many tsuguko before Kanao. Knowing this, she took it upon herself more than ever to remind the Insect Pillar that she was not alone.
1.
Mitsuri was having a good day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and the wisteria around her estate was in full bloom. It was nice to have a day to herself for once. As of late, she had been sent on mission after mission, and she had been getting quite burnt out.
“Good morning, Kanroji-san,” Shinobu said, walking onto the property.
Mitsuri, who had been resting on her porch, snapped out of her reverie at the sound of the Insect Pillar’s voice.
“Shinobu-chan!” She said rising to greet the shorter woman. “I didn’t know you were coming. If I had known I would have prepared breakfast for you!”
The black-haired woman simply shook her head. “It’s alright. This was a last-minute decision on my part. I was in the area on a mission and decided to stop by. In fact,” Shinobu reached into the rucksack on her back, “I have a gift for you.”
Mitsuri gave a small gasp as she looked at the small package in Shinobu’s hands. “You didn’t have to get me anything! I don’t even have anything to give you in return.”
“Kanroji-san, it’s okay. Think of it as a thank you for all the times you’ve given me cooking lessons,” Shinobu said with a soft smile. She then placed the package in the taller woman’s hands. “Why don’t you open it?”
The Love Pillar untied the strings of the package as carefully as she could muster. The wrapping fell open to reveal three pristine hanami dango. She gave a small squeal; she could practically taste the sweetness of the sakura already.
“Oh, thank you, Shinobu-chan!” she said, looking down at the shorter woman, green eyes alight with happiness. She threw her arms around Shinobu, being careful not to drop her gift. “I love you!”
“Your welcome, Kanroji-san,” the black-haired woman replied with a light blush that went unnoticed by her counterpart.
2.
The sun was just beginning to creep below the horizon. The Butterfly Estate was unusually quiet for this time of night, normally being filled with the sounds of Aoi giving her trademark tough love to whatever poor Demon Slayer who had managed to land themselves in the infirmary.
“The usual, Kanroji-san?” Shinobu asked, carefully running her hands through Mitsuri’s thick pink and green tresses.
“Yes, please,” she replied while shifting into a position that would give the shorter woman better access to her hair. The two sat in a comfortable quiet, save for Mitsuri humming a small tune.
The two female Pilllars had fallen into a habit of having a sleepover of sorts once a month. It started when Mitsuri had gotten a particularly nasty injury on a mission and had to spend the night at the Butterfly Estate. After having spent most of the night talking and enjoying each other’s company, they realized that it was a great way to relax in the midst of all their responsibilities.
It was times like this that Mitsuri became hyperaware of the Insect Pillar. When Shinobu ran those cool, calloused hands through her pink hair. She could feel the warmth of the others breath; she could hear the beating of her heart.
Shinobu caused a stirring in Mitsuri’s heart. It was like nothing she had ever felt, a warmth that spread from her chest to all her fingers and toes, energizing her like nothing else. She couldn’t explain it; not really. It made sense though, she supposed. Of course, her best friend made her happy.
“There, all done,” the shorter woman announced. Shinobu stood from where they were seated and grabbed a small hand mirror from a drawer. Mitsuri took the mirror and began to admire the other woman’s work excitedly.
“I love you, Shinobu-chan! Beautiful as always,” She flashed the shorter woman a bright smile.
Shinobu’s cheeks flushed bright red and she quickly turned her head away from those green eyes boring into her very soul.
3.
“Kanroji-san look out!” Shinobu shouted with an uncharacteristic amount of worry. Without a moment’s hesitation, Mitsuri leapt to the side to dodge the barrage of arrows that the demon sent her way. Just as she was about to land one of the arrows nicked her cheek, leaving a long shallow cut in its wake.
The two had been sent out to a forest near the Love Estate to investigate a demon who had been responsible for the deaths of many low-level Demon Slayers. There had been suspicion that the demon may be an Upper Moon, and so it was decided that the most agile Pillars would be the best equipped to fight the archer demon.
“What’s the plan?” Mitsuri asked Shinobu with a serious tone unbefitting her bubbly personality.
“Surround him. If you overpower him and pin him, I can inject him with my poison.” Mitsuri nodded her head and flipped into the air.
“Fifth Style: Wavering Attachment - Messy Nails!” She cried as she wrapped her whip-like sword around the demon’s neck. The demon gave an angry roar and began to thrash against her hold.
“Dance of the Bee Sting: Mere Fluttering!” Shinobu pierced the demon’s flesh. He writhed in anguish as the poison began to rush through his veins. As he thrashed Mitsuri’s sword pulled even tighter at his neck and began to cut into his flesh.
“Damn it!” The demon hissed as he began to fade to ash. Mitsuri averted her eyes slightly, knowing she had Shinobu to back her up. This was a part of her job she never enjoyed. It was horrible to see life fade away, but she also knew that this was her duty and she could not lose focus of the enemy for even a second lest it cost the Love Pillar her life.
“Are you alright?” Shinobu asked, coming up to Mitsuri after the demon had disappeared. She reached out her hand and began to examine the cut on the taller woman’s face.
“It’s alright, Shinobu-chan,” she replied, not wanting her friend to worry.
Shinobu hummed in discontent and reached down toward her pant leg. She tore a strip of fabric from the edge and then used it to wipe the blood from the pink-haired woman’s cheek.
“It’s alright,” Mitsuri repeated, “I promise.”
“Just please be more careful,” the black-haired woman gave a small, almost sad smile. “If not for yourself, then at least for my sake.”
Mitsuri returned her friend’s smile, though it held much more joy than her counterpart.
“I will. I love you, Shinobu-chan.”
“Thank you,” The Insect Pillar replied, though Mitsuri had no idea what she had really meant.
4.
It was a small gathering the girls of the Butterfly Estate had planned for the Insect Pillar’s special day. As insistent as Shinobu was that the Love Pillar need not come visit her on her birthday, Mitsuri was just as instant that it was absolutely necessary that she be there.
“Happy Birthday, Shinobu-chan!” Mitsuri cried, practically tackling her friend in her attempt to hug her.
“Thank you,” the shorter woman replied with a small giggle. Leave it to Mitsuri to make a big fuss out of something Shinobu found nonconsequential. It was endearing trait the pink haired woman held; something all her own.
“You didn’t have to come, you know,” Shiniobu reminded as the women made their way into the mansion.
“But it’s your birthday!” Mitsuri cried. Sometimes Shinobu could be so stubborn. “And besides, I always love a reason to come see you.”
“Alright,” the black-haired woman conceded, a small smile finding its way onto her face. “The Kakushi have prepared dinner and the other girls are at the table. We should join them before the food gets cold.”
The two made their way to the dining area and sat down at the table. Throughout the dinner Mitsuri made small talk with the other Estate residents. She gushed over how tall the smallest three had gotten and discussed infirmary work with Aoi. She tried to speak to Kanao about her training, but the girl was just as closed off as always. All the while, her eyes kept flitting back to the birthday girl, who quietly picking at her food as a strange look graced her face. The pink haired woman considered asking the Insect Pillar what the matter was, but decided it was a question best kept until the children were not present.
After the dishes were cleared away and the two Pillars were left alone, Mitsuri moved to sit closer to her friend. “Is something wrong?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.
“It’s nothing,” Shinobu said dismissively, forcing a smile onto her face. The Love Pillar knew better than that though.
“I know you better than that, Shinobu-chan,” Mitsuri prodded. “I know something’s wrong. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay. Just please don’t lie to me.”
The black-haired woman sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“No! It’s alright!” Mitsuri replied, worried she had upset the other further.
“It’s just that… It’s hard to not think of Nee-san on days like this.” Shinobu looked down, not willing to meet Mitsuri’s gaze. “When I was younger, my birthday was a day for just the two of us. It was special. Now, without her, it just feels so… empty.”
Mitsuri wrapped her arm around the smaller woman. “I’m sorry,” she said. If she was being honest with herself, she didn’t really know what to say to soothe her friend’s aching heart. Shinobu leaned into the others embrace and sighed again.
“It’s not your fault, Kanroji-san.” She replied, though that did not help to calm misplaced guilt that resided in the pink-haired woman’s heart.
“Shinobu-chan,” Mitsuri said, turning to look said woman straight in the eyes. “I know I can’t change what happened with your sister, but I hope to one day make your birthday special again.”
“Thank you,” Shinobu replied. Her voice was but a whisper at this point, having faded as the conversation went on.
“No,” Mitsuri said. “Thank you for being so strong. I love you.”
The black-haired woman closed her eyes and once again leaned into her friend. She hoped with all her heart that the other had meant it the way Shinobu had longed for.
5.
“…I’m very sorry.”
Mitsuri was frozen where she knelt. The grass that had once felt soft now felt painfully rough. The sounds of the world faded, leaving her in the silence of her shock.
He’s dead. Rengoku Kyoujuro is dead. The thought continued to ring throughout her mind, yet her heart couldn’t stand to accept it. A world without her friend and former teacher simply couldn’t be real.
Before she knew it, the emergency Pillar meeting was adjourned, and her comrades had begun to leave, all in taking in the news in their own way. Gyomei was crying, his hands folded in prayer. Tengen, Sanemi, Giyuu and Muichirou had blank faces, the former two uncharacteristically so. Obanai had seemingly disappeared from the area.
“Kanroji-san?” someone called, snapping Mitsuri out of her daze. The Love Pillars head snapped to the side to see Shinobu standing next to her.
“Yes?” She replied as she rose and wiped the large tears from her eyes.
“Why don’t you stay with me tonight?” the smaller woman offered. “I think it’d be best if we had each other this evening.”
Mitsuri simply nodded her head and followed the Insect Pillar to her Estate. It was a silent trip; something Shinobu was not used to when travelling with the Love Pillar. Then again, this was not a normal trip in any way.
When they arrived Shinobu took it upon herself to care for the taller woman. She had noticed Mitsuri was in a slightly catatonic state and while she knew that the pink-haired woman was more than capable of taking down a demon, she wore her heart on her sleeve which led to it being easily hurt.
“Why don’t you take a nice bath while I make tea?” Shinobu suggested.
“No, it’s alright.” Mitsuri looked down at her shoes. “I’d rather just rest.”
The Insect Pillar nodded her head in understanding. “I’ll take you to a guest room.” She then took the tall woman’s large hand into her small one. It was warm. Shinobu blushed and then shook her head.
“Here we are,” She announced after leading the other into a room in the back of the mansion. “There are some clean pajamas in the drawer.”
Just as Shinobu turned to walk out of the room, Mitsuri’s hand grabbed her wrist. “Wait!” The pink-haired woman cried.
“Yes?” She asked, a sweet smile gracing her face.
Mitsuri blushed a bit as she worked up the courage to speak. “Would you, maybe, stay with me? Just until I fall asleep? I, um, don’t really want to be alone right now.”
“Of course.” I’d do anything for you.
Mitsuri turned around and changed quickly, not wanting to take up anymore of Shinobu’s time. After all, she was probably hurting too. All of them were.
“All done?” the black-haired woman confirmed when she noticed the rustling of clothing had ceased.
In response, the Love Pillar laid down in the bed and the other followed suit by sitting next to her. Mitsuri closed her eyes, her emotional exhaustion immediately catching up with her. “Thank you for doing this Shinobu-chan. I love you.”
Only ten minutes later, when the pink-haired woman’s breathing had slowed, and Shinobu was sure she was asleep, did Mitsuri receive a response.
“I love you too.”
1.
Mitsuri thought she knew what it had meant to love. She loved her friends, her family, and in her youth, she had loved many a boy. Love was a warm feeling, a kind feeling, something that made you feel whole.
In one moment, that was all shattered. Her rose-tinted world splintered like haphazardly broken wood. Mitsuri was faced with the cruel and painful truth that love is not what she thought it to be. Yes, love could be warm, wonderful, and kind. However, love could also tear you open and rip your heart from inside your chest.
Kamado Tanjirou had been the one to bring the news. The story of Shinobu’s sacrifice; how she had been fusing her body with wisteria poison at an atomic level. The poor boy had taken it upon himself to make sure Kanao had made it back safely after the gruesome battle with Upper Moon Two. Mitsuri had been there the day they arrived. In her worry for her best friend’s safety, she had chosen to wait for her return. Being well aware of her habit over of being overanxious, she never in a million years did she think that her fears would be confirmed.
How can this be? She thought. Mitsuri stared deeply into the eyes of the two young Demon Slayers, searching for anything that would tell her there was some mistake. When her gaze settled on the sadness in Kanao’s usually blank stare, she knew the truth.
“I’m very sorry for your loss, Kanao-chan,” Mitsuri said. With a quick bow she excused herself and made her way out into Shinobu’s beloved garden.
The Love Pillar sat under a wisteria tree, staring up at the blooms that graced its branches. The once beautiful blossoms now looked dull and dreary, as if weeping for the loss of their caretaker. As the tears began to run down her face, Mitsuri felt a certain kinship with them.
“I’m gonna miss her too,” she whispered as if the trees could hear her. She needed someone, anyone to listen. Someone who would understand. She could have spoken with Kanao but she feared coming off as insensitive. Shinobu was her teacher and sister after all.
Her heart was in shambles having been ripped in two by just a few words. She may be the Pillar of Love, but she had known nothing of the emotion. Every time she told Shinobu she loved her, she hadn’t known just how much she had meant it. She hadn’t known, and now Shinobu wouldn’t either.
“I’m sorry!” she cried, sobbing into her hands. If only she had tried harder to understand the warmth that had spread throughout her body at the thought of that beautiful butterfly woman. Maybe then she could have had the chance to really say those three words.
She continued to sob; muttering apologizes to a woman who was not there. Oh, how she wished to tell her the truth, just once. She wailed once more, knowing that it was an impossible feat.
An idea struck her. “I love you!” She cried; her gaze pointed towards the sky. “Please hear me. I love you!”
And maybe, somewhere in the heavens above, her voice was heard.