Archive of Our Own

Her coworker on the other side of her cubicle laughed loudly and it brought a smile to her face.

"Lia, no, don't do that, not after it took you months for them to replace your old laptop."

She cradled her head in her hands and sighed deeply, the beginnings of a headache forming over her left eye. The screen before her was mocking her, the buffering circle on the email she just drafted continued going around and around and around-

"I'm going to grab some coffee, would you like some?" She suddenly asked, hoping that would bring her out of her stupor. Her coworker shook his hand in the air and continued typing away.

It hadn’t been too long since she had decided to take the night shift at her job. The choice had been clear when she had realized it gave her more time in the morning to lay in the comfort that, not only her bed offered, but her boyfriend as well. He didn't leave for work until 8 AM and she didn't have to be in the office until 2 PM which gave her ample time to sleep in and have lunch with him on those days he could squeeze her in despite his ridiculously packed schedule.

Somedays, the late nights got to her and it just reminded her that she wasn't cut out for office work but it paid the bills...and her visa.

Just a couple more hours, just a couple more, and I'll be back in bed.

While she got the coffee brewing, she took that moment of peace to scroll through her social media, catching up on the latest pictures and news.

Seeing a cute dog video, she copied the link to the post and sent it to Hyunwoo through kakao, writing a quick message about how she wanted three of those puppies. The number in their chat next to her message disappeared, showing he had looked at it, but the reply never came which was odd because there was always something.

To: hyunwoo💕

hey, you didn't like the puppies?

The number disappeared again.

To: hyunwoo💕

blink once if you've been captured and need me to rescue you 👀

Seeing as how he hadn’t taken the bait, she left it at that. The small coffee pot chimed, signaling that the coffee had finished brewing and the smell was welcoming. She pocketed her phone into the back pocket of her jeans and, cupping her hands on the warmth her mug offered, she looked out the window, the Seoul skyline greeting her. The lights from the buildings were brighter than the stars above and it was a sight that she would probably never tire of seeing.

She had made the decision to come to South Korea a couple of years ago, with a backpack, a duffle bag and her life savings to follow her dreams of a new adventure. Having crashed on a friends couch for a couple of months, she had worked odd jobs like washing dishes at restaurants where fluency wasn’t a requirement until she could eventually pick up translating jobs here and there for companies who would offer a contract for a couple of months. 

It wasn’t until her current job had hired her through a recommendation where they were looking for someone bilingual to handle all the communication with their other offices in the United States and Latin America. The first couple of months were difficult, with long hours and horrible migraines that were often times caused by intensive Korean classes that often had her questioning if she had made the right choice to move halfway across the world.

Her life took a turn for the better one night, when she had been blearily staring at all the options before her at the convenience store near her job. Exhaustion weighed heavy on her body and she couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten something that wasn’t coffee or junk food so she had locked her computer and had ran downstairs and out into the summer night heat. The convenience store was pretty empty for being right smack in the middle of Myeongdong but she welcomed the cool air conditioner and had greeted the man behind the counter with a tired smile and had ended up glaring at the options before her as if the choice she were to make was supposed to jump at her at any moment. 

“I like the chicken ramen.” 

Startled at hearing English, she jumped a little and turned to where the voice had come from and her face suddenly felt warm as she stared at a chest that, while in a simple white t-shirt, was toned and hard with muscle beneath it. Her eyes trailed upwards, following a strong neck and a black face mask that had been pulled down under his chin that made his cheeks seem even rounder then they probably were. A black hat was pulled low on his head so that he had to tilt his head back to look at her. 

Her mouth dropped a bit because words should have been coming out but her brain churned slowly at the sight before her. “Is...is it spicy?” she eventually said, the words feeling heavy on her mouth.

Oh wow, she thought, was he handsome. 

Lia had seen her fair share of good looking people. She had seen them on the street, on advertisements in the subway and, even at work, there were a couple of coworkers that had caught her eye a couple times, but the man before her left her in awe. 

He tilted his head, a thinking gesture she assumed, and his lips, wow his lips, tilted upwards in a small smile. 

“Maybe just a little.” 

She turned back to the options before her, her lips puckering a bit in thought.

“I don’t do so well with spicy…maybe I’ll just get a kimbap again.” She said, looking at him from the side of her eye because she had to keep this conversation going and asked, “Do you have one you’d like to recommend?” 

He turned the opposite direction she was in where the refrigerated section kept the food cool and grabbed a triangular kimbap. 

“And it’s chicken. I’m sensing a pattern.” 

His smile was unabashed, his eyes creasing so that they were closed. He adjusted the basket in his arms, which had quite a lot of food and desserts, and said, “Chicken is good, it is clean.” 

Holding the kimbap in her hands, she grabbed another one just for later on in the night, and thanked him for the recommendation. While the man at the counter rang her order, Lia took a quick peek back to where the man stood, the back of his head still by the refrigerators.

She returned to her desk with a heart that was feeling much lighter and the thought of the man at the convenience store on her mind. 

The following day, her coworkers had begged her to bring them snacks, the project that they were working on was causing delirium and a much needed food break was needed. 

The convenience store was empty in the middle of the night and grabbing a basket, she began grabbing from shelves the list that had been handed to her with their messy handwriting. Rounding the corner from the shelves where the ramen was, she almost bumped into a body that was crouching and staring at the bottom shelf where the instant rice was. 

She was staring at a black hat and could barely make out the words Balenciaga until the person who had been staring intently at the rice turned their gaze up to her. 

“Hi.” 

The man from yesterday waved at her, the same smile on his lips as he stood to his full height which left her tilting her head back just so that she could look at him in the eyes. 

“Getting more kimbap?” 

Lia shook her head and showed him her basket, as if that answered his question. She wanted to say thatno, her coworkers sent her on these scavenger hunts with the excuse that this way she’ll practice Korean but she couldn’t find her words because he was just as good looking as he was yesterday. The top of his lip and the bottom of his chin had a bit of stubble, something that wasn’t there before, but that didn’t take away from the fact he left her speechless. 

“No...no, I’m- I’m getting food for my friends, they’re hungry.” 

Great, good job there, she scolded herself. He was nodding and motioned towards his basket that was filled up to the brim with food, just like it had been last time. 

“My friends are hungry too.” 

“Your English is really good by the way.” She blurted out, her hands turning into fists when she realized what she had said. Truth be told, she missed hearing English sometimes and being able to hold a conversation with someone was just really refreshing. 

He smiled, all teeth and round cheeks, and there was just the faintest hue of pink on the apple of his cheeks. 

“Thank you! I have been studying a lot.” 

There was a warmth in the pit of her stomach at seeing him be so proud of what she had told him and, suddenly, she thought that she really wouldn’t mind being the reason for that smile.

“My name is Lia, it’s nice to meet you.” 

He grasped the hand she had extended, his own hand was warm despite the cold air conditioning and almost enveloped hers. 

“I am Hyunwoo, nice to meet you too.” 

It hadn’t been the last time they had seen each other there. They often times had met at the same convenience store, at the same time, and the more they saw each other, the longer the conversations got. There were times where they took just a bit longer to return and sat out in the small table with a cup of ramen and and an order of chicken and talked under the city lights about whatever topic came up.

One night, when the air was becoming cooler, she was picking apart the chicken they were sharing between the two of them, still chuckling about the story about his friend Kihyun who tends to nag at them about the state of their apartment and how their youngest has a unique mind when Hyunwoo had suddenly asked, “Can I have your kakao? I am leaving the country for a couple of months for work and would like to message you.”

She stopped tearing the chicken and felt her face suddenly heat up. It hadn’t taken her long to get used to his straightforward way of speaking but that had really taken her for surprise. 

“Yeah, of course,” She pulled out her phone and placed it on the table so he could scan the QR code, her heartbeat sped up when her account appeared and he added her, immediately swiping through her previous profile pictures.

“Where are you going?” 

“The United States. I’ll be there for a while,” He titled his head at a particular picture and turned his phone towards her so she could see her own face smiling back, “Cute.” 

She covered her face behind her hands in embarrassment, his laughter not helping the heat on her face disappear. He had chosen a picture from a year ago where she stood with a Pororo mascot she had seen at the Coex mall and her face was of pure, unadulterated joy. 

He never went into too much detail on what his job was and she never probed so she kept the conversation centered around his friends whom he clearly loved very much. 

That had been about a year or so ago and her life had completely spun on its axis since then. 

“Hey Lia, you okay? You spaced out there for a moment.” 

Having been brought to the present, her coworker looked at her funny as he poured coffee into his mug. 

“Yeah just thinking about some stuff.” 

The next couple of hours passed by at a snails pace and the emails seemed to be never-ending but, by the time 11 PM rolled around, she was eagerly shutting down her computer and locking her drawer. Looping her book bag through her arms, she waited for her coworkers to join her at the elevator before going downstairs together. 

As they bid each other good night and wishing for a restful weekend, she messaged Hyunwoo letting him know that she was waiting for him outside. While scrolling through instagram, she had spent a couple of minutes responding back to messages she hadn’t gotten to until an all too familiar black car slowly rolled to a stop next to her.

Throwing her things in the back, she opened the passenger seat and sank in to the black leather seats. 

“Hey, how come you don’t have any music pla-“ 

When she had turned to him to ask what was with the silence in the car, she could immediately tell something was wrong. His jaw was tense and the grip he had on the steering wheel was so tight, his knuckles were white. Lia couldn’t make much out in the darkness of the car so she turned on the overhead light and that seemed to make him react, his eyes suddenly blinking as if he were holding back tears. 

“Hyunwoo, hey, baby, what’s wrong?” 

Her voice was soft as her right hand cupped his cheek, softly encouraging him to turn to her. Underneath the light of the car, the rim of his eyes were red and dewy from having cried and his lips trembled as he held himself as best as he could. 

“Oh honey, what is it? Tell me. Tell me so I can help you.” 

Her thumb brushed the ridge of his cheekbone, still wet from when he had cried and he began to slowly lean in, burrowing himself into the nape of her neck and enveloping his arms around her as far as he could. Doing this over the console of the car probably wasn’t the most comfortable but the thought of mentioning it fizzled quickly. 

There were moments where one just needed a second to collect themselves and put their thoughts in order and, right now, he didn’t need her probing him with questions. Keeping her left arm wrapped around his neck and the other carted through his hair, she sat there, listening to the engine softly purring and his sniffles. He was hunched over, his t-shirt tight over his broad back so she smoothed down the wrinkles caused by his position over the middle console and laid her cheek on the side of his head, hoping that this was enough. 

She had lost track of time, had it been minutes or hours she wasn’t sure, until he whispered softly into the nape of her neck, “Hoseok’s gone.” 

Her hands stilled at that; her fingers disappearing within his dark hair as she turned to look at him and all she could see was the side of his head. The whisper had been so quiet, so small she thought that, perhaps, she had heard wrong. He rubbed the tip of his nose on her shoulder, the exhale he released warm on her skin. 

“Gone? What does gone mean? Where did he go?” 

“He left the group.” There was a slight quiver in his voice and she found herself holding him tighter, trying to bring him into her as best as she could. 

Finding out she was dating an idol of an, incredibly famous, kpop group had taken her a moment to wrap her head around the idea. She wasn't clueless to what kpop was and had even listened and downloaded a couple songs but it never passed that line because she was simply too busy to indulge in simple things.

Many things had clicked into place when he had told her, for one, why he always reminded her to not put up any pictures they took on social media. Most of the pictures were to be strictly sent to her family chat or him, which, she hadn't minded either because social media had been something she had been using less and less anyways.

It had taken him about a year into their relationship to tell her, to show her videos of him performing and, while she had been surprised, nothing about their relationship had changed except the fact she had been insistent on him sending more practice videos becauseyou mean to tell me you can move like that and never told me!? The only thing that she did think about every now and then was the idea that there were all these strangers out there with her boyfriend as a lock screen which still sat a bit odd with her. 

When she had been told he was an idol, she had been introduced to his members who were more his family than coworkers. She found herself loving each and everyone of them, immediately taking them in as if she had known them all her life because it had clearly taken a lot for Hyunwoo to entrust her to meet them. This had been a pretty big step for them and it showed her he was thinking of their relationship as something serious and for the long run. 

“I am not a good leader jagi. I am not a good leader.” He whispered over and over and something in her broke at his tone.

Lia found her eyes suddenly watering at that and her hands couldn’t grasp him strongly enough to show him just how wrong he was. She had seen him with them, had visited their dorm whenever she could and knew he led them with kindness and love. He always considered what was in their best interest and tried to appease them as much as he could. While he was soft and kind and caring, he could also be authoritative when the situation called for it but those moments were very rare because they all worked so well as a team. 

She kissed the top of his head multiple times, peppering kisses wherever she could reach until she found his forehead, his eyelids, his nose and then his lips. Those same lips that she could describe through memory alone had now been bitten beyond repair because of the stress and the racing thoughts he must have been having. 

“Don’t say that,” she whispered, kissing him urgently because she needed time to find the words that he needed to hear, “You know that’s not true at all. Don’t say that.” 

He returned her kisses just as fervently, his hands coming up to her face to hold her there because he was tired of words. All day they had sat in the meeting room, too many words thrown around and the air in the room becoming too heavy for any of them to bare. He had had to sit there, taking in what the company was telling them and when Kim Sidae had walked in, he knew that he could argue all he wanted but it would all would have been for naught.

Whenever the CEO was called in, it meant that the situation had been dire and that there had been a decision already made. 

“Look at me, hey, look at me, Hyunwoo.” His gaze met her eyes, her thumbs wiping the tears that slid down his cheeks.

“I got you Hyunwoo, okay? I got you. We’ll get through this together.” 

“You got me.” He said, his lower lip quivering. 

“Yes, I got you. I’m here.” 

A shuddering breath ripped through his body and he hid into the nape of her neck again. She waited there with him, waited until his tears had stopped and his shoulders weren’t trembling anymore before kissing his temple.

“Let’s go home huh? You need to sleep.” She whispered to him and he nodded, extracting himself away from her as if it took every bit of his strength to do so. 

On the drive to her apartment, he held her hand in a tight hold over his thigh, squeezing it softly every now and then when he felt like he was going to cry again. He provided the days events in pieces, about how it all happened, how they had been in a meeting room for hours and how he had tried to argue, to come to a middle ground but the company had made a decision and they were standing by it. 

Changkyun had yelled, despite being their youngest and often times pretty mature, he had lost his temper and had thrown his water bottle in anger. Kihyun had been quiet, had spoken when he had directly been mentioned but had just listened mostly throughout the entire meeting. Minhyuk could only look at Hyunwoo every so often, his eyes pleading for him to make a case, to do something. Jooheon, who had always been their most sensitive, had tried his best to hold back his tears but his sniffling was ever present whenever anyone spoke. 

They had left the building with Kim Sidae having the last word, “This is for the best of the group and we will handle it from here.” After that, they were told to take the rest of the night off and the next day as well while the company released an official statement and changed their schedules around. 

By the time they reached her apartment, she had a pretty good idea of what was happening. 

“And where is everyone else? At the dorms?” 

Taking her shoes off at the entrance, she placed her book bag at the end of the kitchen counter and turned on one of the lamps. 

“Changkyun-ah said he was staying with a friend and I think Jooheon-ie said he was staying over with Jackson.” 

He stood in her living room, looking around as if this was the first time he was seeing her place. Lia went about turning on the overhead lights in the kitchen and went to stand before him, rubbing her hands on his forearms, raising goosebumps as they went, and got him to look down at her. 

“Okay, so I think it would be best if you took a nice warm shower, put on some pajamas and then went to sleep. While you’re showering I’m going to fix us some tea okay? Have you eaten?” 

Hyunwoo placed his forehead on hers, exhaustion evident in the way his shoulders drooped and the weight of his body suddenly on hers. 

“I am not hungry but tea sounds good.” 

She nodded, only minutely because she couldn’t move much with him on her, so she patted his waist to get him going and offered him a small, encouraging smile.

“Come on then big guy, I’ll put your pajamas in the bathroom so get started.” 

He followed obediently, grabbing the back of his t-shirt and removing it as he walked into the small bathroom. It wasn’t until she heard the sound of running water start that she finally felt all the weight of what was unloaded on her settle into her body and tried to release it all with a shuddering breath.

She didn’t know all the details, there were still some gaps in the story that she hadn't bothered probing for more information lest that would have made him feel worse. This was going to impact their little group in a huge way and, for the time that it would take, she had to be strong for not only him but all of them. 

Digging for her phone in her bag, she opened kakao and looked up a specific name.

To: hoseokie 🐰

whenever you need anything, you know where I live. 

I’m here for you. 

She sent it to each individual member, letting them know that they had her full support if they wanted it. Once that had been done, she took a moment to breathe deeply, to take that moment for herself, and when her head felt even remotely clear, she began puttering around her apartment.

It wasn’t much but the tiny apartment had been her space for almost two years now. It had a huge window in the living room that was also a shared space with her kitchen and her office desk that took a corner of where the window was. The bathroom was to the right of the door and the upstairs area was her little space for her bed and TV. Placing the kettle on the tiny stove, she grabbed the two mugs they had used that morning for their breakfast and left them nearby.

Trudging upstairs, she grabbed the pajamas on the bed, quickly folding them and knocked on the bathroom door before entering. Hyunwoo was leaning against the wall, the warm water already steaming up the bathroom and fogging up her vision. There was a glass panel that separated the water from the toilet and sink so she placed his clothes on the shelf that ran along the wall. 

“Are you coming?” he asked, turning his head towards her, the shower peltering his chin and neck but he didn’t seem to mind, as if the the sweltering temperature of the water didn’t affect him. 

“Yeah, give me a second to set the kettle to the side.” 

Once the silver kettle had signaled it was done, she plopped the tea bags in the mugs and placed them in the microwave to conserve the heat. 

When Lia had stepped foot in her shower, a tight fit with the two of them in there, she placed a kiss on his right shoulder, the tension slowly ebbing away. They were slow in their actions, every touch was meant to reassure and say more than words could. 

She ran her hands over his back as she washed the suds away from the body wash and his hands got lost in her hair from washing away the shampoo. 

When she had turned the water off, she carefully dried him off, the towel hanging limp over his shoulders as she wrapped hers around her hair. They dressed slowly, the weight of the day finally hitting them now that they weren’t under the warm water. 

Grabbing the two mugs, they sipped it slowly, their bodies leaning against each other for a moment. They languidly climbed up the stairs and crawled into bed after having placed the cups on the nightstand. 

“We’ll deal with it tomorrow okay? We’re going to get up tomorrow morning and we’ll deal with it.” 

He had crawled inbetween her legs, his face buried into the soft material of her t-shirt and his arms had wrapped tightly around her waist. Her fingers were slightly wet from running them through his damp hair but it helped avoid the tension from returning to his shoulders. Within the confines of her apartment, they were worlds away from the outside world.

"I'm just worried," He murmured into her stomach, his face pressed into it, "that I'm going to lose everything I know."

Her heart suddenly felt tight at hearing that.

"Hey, you got me, okay? You got me."

He nodded, the movement small but that was apparently what he had needed to hear because it wasn't long until his breath evened out and his hold around her loosened as he sunk further into sleep.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow they would deal with this and she would help in any way she could.