Work Text:
If Choromatsu were to describe his perfect day, it would end with a solid, peaceful hour of reading, curled up in a comfy chair with a hot cup of tea. Reading was a quiet hobby, a relaxing one, and he found that he was capable of tuning the real world out and letting himself be transported to a new one when he got absorbed in an especially good book. This was an incredible feat, that in a houseful of loud and rowdy brothers he could sometimes tuck himself away in a corner of the couch and get swept up in the story, blissfully unaware of the incessant bickering and chatter surrounding him.
At least, sometimes he could do this. With any of his other brothers it was easy.
But with Osomatsu, it was nearly impossible.
“Choro-chaaaaan,” Osomatsu whined now, causing Choromatsu to grit his teeth and tighten his grip on his book. “Why won’t you look at meeee…?”
“Because,” Choromatsu huffed, refusing to bestow even a glance upon the irritating eldest, “you’re being a pain in the ass, and sometimes the best way to deal with a pain in the ass is to ignore it.”
“But Choro,” Osomatsu countered, and Osomatsu could hear the smirk in his voice even though he pointedly kept his gaze down on his book, “if you’re talking to me to explain this to me, then isn’t that actually the opposite of ignoring me?”
…Dammit. Choromatsu finally lowered his book and glared witheringly at Osomatsu.
“You,” he said scathingly, “are a piece of shit.”
“Yeah, but I got you to look at me, didn’t I?” Osomatsu snickered triumphantly, and Choromatsu just barely resisted the urge to throw his book at his face.
“Honestly,” Choromatsu scowled, setting the book beside him on the couch and crossing his arms over his chest, “you are the most annoying, obnoxious brother in the world. I can’t believe I’m related to you sometimes.”
“Hey, c’mon, isn’t that a little harsh?” Osomatsu put his hand to his chest, pretending to be hurt. “I am your wise, dependable Nii-san, after all. You should respect your elders.”
“You’re not even an hour older than me, Osomatsu!” Choromatsu argued, rolling his eyes. “How long do you intend to use that ‘big brother’ excuse as a reason to be in charge?”
“Hmm, lemme think...never, that’s when.” Osomatsu grinned what he probably thought was a charming smile, which Choromatsu saw right through.
“Oh, give me a break. And besides that, I would be a much better candidate for the role of oldest brother than you.”
“Oh yeah? How do you figure?” Osomatsu wanted to know, flopping onto the couch beside Choromatsu. It seemed that Choromatsu wasn’t going to escape this conversation so easily now that he’d dug himself in.
“Because I’m the reasonable one. The responsible one!” Choromatsu puffed his chest out a little with pride. “I work hard, trying to get a job and motivating you all to do the same. I’m driven and determined, and one day it’ll all pay off, just you wait. Our brothers deserve to have me as a role model, someone they can look up to and aspire to be…!”
“Careful there, Fappymatsu, you’re rising again,” Osomatsu quipped dryly, putting a hand on Choromatsu’s shoulder in an attempt to pull him back to Earth.
“Well, anyway…” Choromatsu ventured, forcing himself to refocus on the topic at hand (and not willing to admit he’d started to stray off). “I bet any of our other brothers would even be a better big brother than you, too.”
“Oh yeah?” Osomatsu repeated as he folded his arms and regarded Choromatsu with a part-mocking, part-challenging look. “Do tell. Let’s start with Karamatsu, your only other big brother, who has ditched you every time you’ve fallen after promising to help you back up and who once let everyone dump their chores on you because you taught him how to stand up for himself. What makes him better than me?”
“For one thing, you didn’t ever come back to help me up either and you gleefully dumped your chores on me too, so the comparison is hardly fair,” Choromatsu retorted. “As for how he’d be a better big brother...well, he’s generous to a fault. He’d literally do anything for his brothers, and even though he tries way too hard sometimes, I think he really just wants everyone to be happy.”
He didn’t bother mentioning that Karamatsu could also be very understanding—that he could tell when Choromatsu felt like talking or when he felt like being quiet, and that he never questioned him too much whenever he joined him on the roof to listen to him play guitar but didn’t say much. He knew the music relaxed Choromatsu when he was stressed, and let him listen without asking why unless he wanted to share.
“Okay, sure, fine,” Osomatsu said, interrupting Choromatsu’s thoughts. “Then what about Ichimatsu, our resident doll of darkness?”
“He’s not all darkness,” Choromatsu retorted. “Sure, he can be scary at times, and you want to stay off his bad side, but he can be gentle too. You’ve seen how he is with Jyushi and Totty, he takes his role as big brother for them pretty seriously, and he’d probably murder anyone who tried to harm them in any way.”
Mentioning murder while talking about Ichimatsu probably wasn’t doing him any favors, but it was true—Ichimatsu may be quiet and reserved, especially compared to the other brothers, but the youngest two really seemed to look up to him. And he did have a soft side. Choromatsu saw it anytime he was with his cats, that affectionate smile that came to his face as he gently stroked their fur and fed them. Choromatsu had joined him to feed the cats in the alley a few times, and they loved Ichimatsu so much, rubbing themselves against his legs and meowing contently as he petted and played with them. Anyone those little animals could trust couldn’t be all that bad, Choromatsu reasoned.
“Okay, so I guess you’ve got a couple of points there,” Osomatsu conceded reluctantly. “What about Jyushimatsu, then…? His mind is always just on baseball.”
Hmm. That proved to be a bit more difficult, because Choromatsu always tended to be more “mothering” toward Jyushimatsu—tending to his injuries whenever he’d come home all scraped and bruised from baseball, scolding him when he was being too loud, generally trying to keep him in line. But for all the headaches he’d inadvertently caused Choromatsu before, Jyushimatsu also had his good qualities.
“He’s enthusiastic,” Choromatsu began at last, “and optimistic about a lot of things. He’s good at cheering you up and cheering you on when you need a pick-me-up. He can be a little... overbearing about it sometimes, but he means well, and he can be serious when he needs to be too.”
It wasn’t often that Jyushimatsu was quiet and sitting still, but when he was it was remarkable how attentive he could be. Choromatsu had witnessed this first-hand whenever he asked Jyushimatsu if he wanted to help out with his garden. Jyushimatsu wanted to do a good job and listened closely to any instructions Choromatsu gave him, and worked diligently as he dug holes in the soil for new seeds and pulled up any weeds that had sprouted near the plants. It was nice bonding time for the two of them, when Choromatsu didn’t need to lecture him for anything and Jyushimatsu wasn’t rushing around a mile per minute.
“Alright, so those are all decent points for each brother,” Osomatsu admitted begrudgingly. “But then what about Totty? What can you possibly say in favor of the dry monster who once lied about his own brothers’ existence to make himself look good?”
Choromatsu knew Osomatsu would throw that one at him, but he was prepared for it. Even though Todomatsu definitely played up his role as the baby brother of the family--Choromatsu lost count of how many times he’d had to walk Todomatsu down the hall to the bathroom in the middle of the night, or how many of his shirts had been stretched beyond their limit because Todomatsu had crawled into them like a baby kangaroo—he certainly wasn’t inept. He, too, had good points.
“Totty may act like a little shit, but you know he still loves us--he refuses to even pick a favorite brother because he doesn’t want to start that sort of drama between us,” Choromatsu replied. “And he’s motivated, too--I mean, he was the first of us to get a job, and he actually gets out with friends and goes to mixers and all that. He’s got way more social standing than the rest of us, and as much as that pisses us off it would give us someone to look up to if he was the oldest brother.”
Osomatsu narrowed his eyes slightly at Choromatsu. “So you really think that? You really think those are all legitimate reasons they’d be better big brothers than me?”
“You are the one who asked,” Choromatsu pointed out.
“Well, you started it!” Osomatsu threw back. “So does that mean you really think I’m such a shitty brother? I’m that worthless to you?”
“Osomatsu, you are the neediest, whiniest person I--” Choromatsu’s voice dropped off when he looked up at Osomatsu again, and realized the expression on his face actually looked hurt. Not that fake, wounded expression he liked to use when he was trying to get attention, but... hurt.
Great...now Choromatsu just felt like an ass.
Choromatsu inhaled through his nose, then exhaled in a long breath through his mouth before answering. “Oso, of course not. You’re shitty and annoying sometimes, sure, but...that doesn’t mean I think you’re a terrible brother.”
“So what are my good qualities, then?” Osomatsu asked, and he sounded like he genuinely wanted to know. “You came up with a million for everyone else, so what about me?”
“It was not a million.” Choromatsu contemplated his response for a moment. Honestly he did feel bad if he’d hurt Osomatsu’s feelings--he’d thought they were just talking, but this turned into something deeper than that. He realized that for all their flaws, all their shortcomings, and how often they drove him up a wall with their constant teasing and fighting...all of his brothers had traits he appreciated, and maybe even wished he possessed more of himself.
And that, he had to confess to himself, included Osomatsu.
“I know I just said how you take advantage of this, but...you are good at taking charge of a situation when you need to,” Choromatsu began. “You’ve always been ready and willing to take the lead since we were kids, and even though it sometimes gets us into trouble, other times it does help us out. Deep down I know you want what’s best for us, even if it’s hard for you to accept sometimes, and you’d be there to support us even if it hurts you. And even though you like to make fun of us constantly and push our buttons until we snap, I know you really do love us and would do whatever it takes to protect us and keep us happy.”
As he said it, he realized it really was true. Despite his annoying tendencies, his flaws, mistakes he’d made in the past...Osomatasu was a good brother. At one time Choromatsu had called him his best friend, his partner-in-crime, the one he looked up to the most as they were growing up. When had that changed, exactly…? When had they started to get along less, and started fighting more? Well, Choromatsu knew there were reasons for that, all of them tied to growing up and needing change, which Osomatsu often failed to see and which served as an endless source of frustration for Choromatsu.
But it didn’t mean Osomatsu was a bad brother, and it didn’t make Choromatsu need him less. Maybe they just had to work harder at getting along.
Choromatsu realized it had been awhile since Osomatsu had last said anything, and glanced up at him to gauge his reaction. Osomatsu was just...looking at him, with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Do you really mean all of that?” he finally asked.
“Yes, Osomatsu...I do,” Choromatsu responded sincerely. “I might nag you and call you shitty sometimes, but what I said is still true.”
Osomatsu seemed to let that sink in for a minute, and then he smiled slowly. “Well...thanks, Choromatsu. I really appreciate that. And for the record, you’re a good brother too.”
Choromatsu hadn’t expected that response, but he found himself smiling back at Osomatsu a little in return. “Thank you, Oso.”
The conversation seemed to be over at that point. Osomatsu slid off the couch and onto the floor, picking up the remote and aiming it at the television. Well, it was a noisy activity but at least it wasn’t too distracting, and would probably keep him quiet for now. Choromatsu took a chance, picking up his book and opening it to the last page he’d been on.
Before he could resume his reading, Osomatsu glanced over his shoulder and up at Choromatsu, brushing a finger under his nose as one of his signature smirks spread across his face.
“So does that mean you’re willing to call me Onii-san from now on…?”
That was the last thing Osomatsu said before Choromatsu whacked him in the side of the head with his book, finally gaining him the silence he had so desperately craved.