Archive of Our Own

Even finally undid the fabric of the tied bow from his apron, holding it in his hand before dropping it on top of Isak’s laptop. His gaze was met by the grumpy face of his boyfriend, “Hi, you,” Even greets. 

“Hei,” Isak says, the corners of his mouth uplifting, his grumpiness never did last long with Even around. 

Even sits in the empty chair next to Isak’s - his regular spot always was on the bar by the window, so when he was lost for words to write, he could people-watch. 

“How was the last bit of the shift, then?” 

Isak had arrived at KB about two hours earlier. Even always finished his Friday shifts at 4pm and Isak had no classes after 11am on Fridays so he always waited for him to finish there

“It wasn’t too bad. Nice view if nothing else.” 

Isak rolls his eyes, “You never get tired?”

“Never,” Even challenged. “I thought you had a meeting with that girl?”

He shook his head, “Nei, she texted me saying she wanted to postpone until Monday.” Isak worked as a tutor when he didn’t have classes at the university to get some extra money for the bills. 

“I can give you a lift if you want? I have classes all day Monday anyway, what time’s the meeting?”

“10.” 

“Perfect, my classes don’t start until 10:30.”

Isak lets out a breath after he sends Even a smile, and closes his laptop - he'd been working on his assignment now for two weeks straight for the deadline on Monday. He's finished it last night but the worst part was reading it all back for Isak, he hated picking at his word choices all day. He was just exhausted of looking at the screen for hours.

Even coughs, “Before we go, I wanted to talk to you about something. I’ve been thinking…”

“Dangerous,” Isak comments, sliding the laptop into his backpack. 

“So we’re going back home tomorrow.”

“I’m aware-”

“-not that I don’t think I’m home with you, but you know Oslo is where my parents are and Jonas, and Eskild,” Even rambles. 

Isak laughs lightly, “Okay, okay, calm down, talk at a regular pace,” he advises. 

“Right. Right, calm,” Even reminds himself, Isak rubbed a thumb over the back of his boyfriend’s hand, “I want to meet your parents, babe.” 

He sees Isak’s back straighten, and his eyes don’t meet Even’s anymore, “Can we talk at home? Please?”

“Course we can, let’s go, yeah?” 

Even holds out his hand and Isak takes it. 

.

The night was settled. The ordinary routine always felt strange when they were about to go back to Oslo, but tonight, Even could feel the anxiety and guard Isak was building. It was like when they first met and Isak was still figuring himself out. 

Even found him staring at himself in the bathroom, and he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, kissing his shoulder, “I don’t want to nag you or make you feel uncomfortable or on edge.”

“You can’t,” Isak murmurs.

“I can’t what?”

“Make me feel uncomfy.”

He noticed the toothbrush in Isak’s hand, and he opens he cupboard to find the toothpaste, along with his own toothbrush, “I’m glad.”

They both brush their teeth together, like usual.

.

Isak nestles his head into Even’s neck, settling down as Even plays with his hair.

“You’ve met Eskild, he’s as good as, isn’t he?”

Even smiles, “He’s your family too. Do you really not get on with your biological family, then?”

“You can meet my mum, if you want,” he offers.

“You talk to her?” Even knew they were in contact, but didn’t realise it was more than when he spoke to Terje.

Isak nods, “Pretty much everyday. You know she was mentally ill when I was a kid. She went into hospital for a while and she called me, she wanted me to visit. Ever since, we kept in contact and she’s been great.”

“What’s she like?”

“She’s into painting now. It helped her in the hospital, I think - when they were finding the right medication for her, they put her into art therapy and it really helped her. She paints a lot of trees, animals, mountains. Things like that,” Isak pulls out his phone, and opens Whatsapp to the thread of his mum’s texts. He opens the last image she sent to him. 

It was a smaller canvas, a skyline of wispy trees with greens and greys fading into each other, “That’s beautiful, Is.”

“Yeah,” Isak locks his phone and puts it back on the bedside table, “She’s a terrible cook," he chuckles, "I cooked for her a lot as a kid because she had episodes that seemed like they were everyday to me-”

“Episodes like me, you mean?”

“She’s schizophrenic.”

Even nods, “Must have been hard,” Isak never talked about his family. They’d been together now for almost four years, and he had told Even odd things about his family, but never brought up the conversation about this childhood as an entirety. Even knew the bare bones of it. Isak never lied to him, or hid things, but Even always just thought his family was something he hadn't dealt with yet, so letting Even into that space wasn't on Isak's radar.

“Yeah. She’s good now, though. We usually meet and I cook her dinner or we go somewhere to eat. See a film or something.”

“That’s really nice, baby.”

He smiles, thinking about his mother, “I think I’d really like it for you to meet her. I'm sorry it's taken me so long."

"It's hard for you, that's all okay."

Isak looks fond, "I told her all about you. I would say you could meet my sister too, but I’ve not heard from her since she left.”

“You spoke to your mum about me?” Even decided not to ask more about Lea, he knew Isak struggled a lot with his abandonment issues, and he didn’t want the conversation to be harder than it needed to be.

“She thinks you’re beautiful too.”

Even’s eyebrow raises, and he laughs, kissing Isak’s temple, “So, uh, what about your dad?”

Isak sits up and leans over to switch on the lamp on his bedside table, “It’s a bit more complicated with him.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, he’s a bit unreliable sometimes. Mostly, he helps us out every month but you know, he can fall through on it. He drops plans with me whenever I try again with him. He has a new wife, a little kid, too,” Isak explains, looking over at Even’s nod. 

Even thinks back to the times Isak ended up heartbroken that he can remember. The time Isak went to meet Terje at a restaurant and sat there for hours. The times Terje drops phone calls the second his wife got home from work. All the times Isak’s cried. 

“When I was little, I depended on Lea too much. She was only a few years older and then when I was about ten, I stopped because she started going out and staying at friends’ houses so I had to depend on myself.”

Even’s brow furrowed, “Depend on her? Your dad still lived with you, didn’t he?”

“He got mad a lot, really easily. He’d snap, shove me around a bit if I got in his way - it was more scary than it was anything else, I promise,” Isak explained, “When he left, it was something I'd always wanted so I thought it was my fault - my fault that he left - but I know it wasn’t now. He shouldn’t have to push his kid around to make himself feel better.”

Isak felt a kiss on his forehead, not letting himself look back at Even in case he cried and he didn’t want to, not now. 

Even let Isak burrow his head into his neck, and they fell back into the position they were previously in.

“I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to mention it,” Isak whispers, “And I’m sorry if I flinch sometimes, I know you’ve noticed that. It’s not because of you. I'm not ever scared around you. And it's not that my dad ever fully punched me, because he didn’t. He’d just push past me, push me into things, he threw things a lot. Punched holes in the walls. Things like that, that’s why fast movements or loud noises make me flinch.”

Even sat up for a moment, and held Isak’s face in his hands, making his boyfriend look at him, “You don’t ever apologise for that, okay?”

Isak nods slightly, and Even lays back down.

.

Travelling back to Oslo typically meant a very long train journey that neither of them liked, but this time they’d decided to get a flight. Both of them loved walking around the airport for some reason, Even liked to look for cheap things to buy and Isak liked people-watching with a hot chocolate so they both had a nice morning. And this way, it only took about an hour rather than six.

Isak had managed to get the window seat, and Even sat beside him, so he felt he did well for himself. 

“Baby?” Even said quietly. 

“Hm?” Isak was tired, they’d both woken up that day at six, they wanted to get to the airport for eight so they were early enough. He’d almost forgotten about the talk they had last night entirely. He loved that about being with Even - it was effortless and he was never scared. 

“You deserve better than you got.”

Isak smiles softly, “Yeah?”

Even nods.

“I got you, though. Didn’t I?”

“You deserved an extraordinarily good start. And an extraordinarily good life to follow it.”

Isak thinks for a moment before saying, “You know, I read something on my phone the other day, and it said that you find extraordinary in the most ordinary places.”

“That’s nice.”

“Mm, maybe you’re my extraordinary.” 

. 

When they arrived, Even’s mum picked them up and dropped Isak off at kollektivet to see Eskild while Even could unpack at his parents’ house. They always did this so Even could have some time with his parents and Isak could catch up with Eskild.

He decided to call his mum while he was still there, so he didn’t have to explain his family situation to Even’s family. 

“Hi mama,” Isak greets.

“Hei baby, did you get here okay?”

His mother’s voice was always soft these days, she had been through a lot of therapy after she left the hospital so she was apologetic a lot towards Isak. She knew he hadn’t had it easy growing up and she wanted to put everything right but Isak just wanted her to forgive herself.

“Yeah, it wasn’t too bad. Can I come see you?”

He could hear her smile, and he couldn’t explain how, but he could, “I’d love that, why don’t you come over tomorrow morning? Maybe around 11? We could make some food or something. Spend the afternoon together?”

“I’d like that, Mama,” Isak agreed, “Would it be okay to bring Even? I’d love for you to meet him.”

He hears her let out a breath and for a moment, he’s scared of upsetting her or stressing her out like Terje used to warn him of, “I would love to meet him, baby.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course! Do you want me to buy anything for us to make? He’s not vegan or anything?”

Isak sees Eskild watching him with a huge smile on his face, “No, no, Mama. He eats everything.”

“Good, well I’ll see you tomorrow then. I’ve missed you.”

“You too. I love you, see you then.”

“Love you.”

“Bye.”

Isak drops the phone onto the couch and Eskild makes his way over.

Isak meets his teasing gaze, “Baby Jesus finally letting Even meet the parents?”

"Do you think I waited too long? I mean, we've been together for years now."

Eskild looks confused for a moment before taking Isak's hand and making him sit down, "I think you and I had it rough as kids, and I think you took your time in telling Even that because you love him, but that doesn't solve all those years when you didn't have that love. Us loving people, and loving each other doesn't fix what happened to us before. And I'm happy you're finally letting Even into that space that you don't like going in too much."

Eskild's advice always made Isak feel safe. He wondered before if that's how dads are meant to make their kids feel or if Eskild is just that special person Isak was always meant to meet that night when he was alone and hanging on by a thread.

"Look at you now, the boyfriend is meeting the parents," Eskild smirks.

“Just my mum, dummy.”

“Well obviously, silly boy,” Eskild says like it’s obvious.

Isak often forgets how good Eskild’s been to him. Eskild didn’t have much of his own family but he was great at making his own and making sure everyone around him had that family. He wondered if it was bad to miss this family more than his old one.

He didn’t know.

.

Even picked him up in his mum’s car at around 3pm. 

“Hey handsome.”

“Hi,” Isak says with a smile, getting into the passenger seat, “I have news.”

Even side eyes him, before stopping at a red light, “I like news,” he states.

“I know you do,” Isak laughs, “I called Mama, and she wants us to go over tomorrow.”

Even’s face lights up, “Really?” He gleams. 

“Yeah. 11 o’clock, she said we could make some food or just spend the afternoon doing whatever.”

“I love you,” Even says, going ahead in the road at the traffic light change, “And thank you.”

As he watches Even turn the corner onto his parents’ street, he replies with the same, “You too.” 

He isn’t sure if he meant he loved him too or to thank him, or both. 

Probably both. 

Definitely both.

.

“Is that Isak back?”

“I swear they like you more than me,” Even mutters. 

Isak whips the back of Even’s leg with his coat, “Shut up.”

Even scoffs, as his mothers walk in, “Hello sweetheart!”

Liv hugs Isak, “You eating okay?”

“Course, he cooks for me enough,” Isak says, kissing her cheek. 

“I want it in writing that you’re meant to be my mother.”

Liv rolls her eyes and puts her arm around Isak, walking him into the front room, “Look who’s here!” she exclaims to her wife.

“Halla love,” Sofie rushes over to him and kisses his head as she hugs him, “You look well!”

He remembered the first time he met Liv and Sofie and how safe Even’s house felt. He hadn’t met any real and settled and in love gay couples before, and they both just showed him how easy it was. Somehow it just made Even make sense.

He wanted tomorrow to be like that for Even - or however close it could be to that, at least. 

“You hungry?” Sofie asks, sitting down on the couch with her son.

Even shrugs, “We ate something before we left, did you eat at kollektivet?”

Isak shook his head, “Eskild made me some tea, and Noora gave me some cakes, but nothing much. She’s sent me home with a box of them in my bag for you all.”

“Lovely, do you want to go out to eat?” Liv offers, “Our treat. We could go for pizza or something? Maybe in an hour or so?”

“Sounds great, thanks Mama,” Even accepts, he makes grabby hands at Isak and he joins him on the couch, “I unpacked most of our stuff, there’s just your bag you had with you.”

Isak hums, “I’ll head up now,” he stood, and when Even made a pouting face, he kissed the top of his head, “You can help, if you want, grumpy.”

Even raises to his feet and Isak follows him out the door, he sees Even pick up the bag from the hallway so he walks behind Even on the stairs. He always loved seeing the family photos on the walls, most of the frames on the walls in Isak’s family home got ruined when his mum got ill, or when his dad got angry so he loved seeing Even’s family all over the walls here. 

When Isak had first come over, he had asked about Even’s father and was met with shrugged shoulders. Even’s birth mother was Liv, and his father wasn’t something that Even cared much about - he was told as a kid that his father hadn’t been involved with the pregnancy after a month or so  it was only him and Liv. When he was six, she met Sofie at a wedding and he’d had two mothers ever since. Isak recalled the night after meeting Even’s mothers and asking if he ever wanted to find him, and apparently Even had no interest in it. 

Even climbed up the ladder to sit on his bed, and watches Isak move around his childhood bedroom like he was the one who grew up here, it warmed his heart to see. 

Isak pulled out his wires from the bag, placing them on the windowsill, just above where a plug socket was. 

“So your mama,” Even began, “I have an idea.”

He looks up at his boyfriend, a playful grin growing on his face that Isak didn’t trust for a single moment, “If it’s illegal-”

“Why do you have no faith in me?”

“The only faith I own is in you, I don’t trust the look on your face an inch.”

“I figured we could go to that pottery painting place - you said she liked painting, right?” Even says. 

Isak’s face broke into a smile, warmth filling him, “I think that’s a good idea. Isn’t that place really expensive?”

“No, no, it’s only like 100kr for each person - we have enough with us. Besides, I doubt we will be spending anything else all weekend.”

After unpacking his bag, he sits down on the windowsill and untangles the chargers he brought with him, “She sounded really excited to meet you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm, but just a quick thing, can you not mention my dad to her? We talk about him sometimes but I don’t like talking about him with her.”

Even nods, “Course baby, anything you want.”

. 

That night goes like any other with Even’s parents. 

They talk and laugh and catch up, but Even calls both his mothers pretty much everyday anyway, so there’s not too much to catch up on exactly. There’s never an empty moment, though, there never is. 

“What’s the plan for tomorrow then? Are you seeing people?” Liv asks.

“I’m meeting Isak’s mum tomorrow,” Even says, looking over at Isak, smiling. 

“That’s great, she’s not been well, has she?” 

Isak shakes his head, “She’s been out the hospital for about a year now, but she’s really good. I wanted to wait for Even to meet her because she tended to get stressed easily before she had medication, but she’s really stable now,” Isak explains, “I talk to her on the phone a lot.”

“Lovely,” Sofie smiles, playing with Liv’s fingers, “Maybe next time you visit, we all could meet? Make a meal?”

Even starts to decline, knowing Isak’s family is something a bit personal, but Isak stops him, “As long as Mama isn’t the one cooking - she’s awful in the kitchen.”

Liv laughs along, “She can’t be that bad!”

“She burnt pasta,” Isak deadpans, and Even’s eyes crinkle with a smile, rubbing a hand on the back of Isak’s shoulders.

“Well maybe we’ll cook,” Sofie states, “And we’ll avoid pasta.”

Isak smiles and nods, “That sounds like a plan. We could do it around Christmas time, she loves Christmas parties, but she never gets to go to any.”

Sofie squeezes her wife’s hand, agreeing among each other, “Well consider our Christmas party planned.”

. 

Isak and Even drove to Marianne’s apartment the next morning, it was about ten minutes away, she had left Isak’s family home when she was admitted into the hospital. Isak preferred her apartment, it was small and covered in photo frames and the paintings she made - with no painted-over markings of his dad.

“I’ll go up and tell her the plan, you wait here. We can come back here later for something to eat, if you want to see the apartment, though,” Isak says, unbuckling the seat belt. 

“Sure.”

“I’ll be two minutes,” Isak leans over and pecks Even's cheek before jumping out the car and makes his way into the building, buzzing number 18 for his mother’s place, “It’s me, Mama!” he calls into the system, and hears her ‘come in!’ reply. 

He takes the lift up to her floor, and finds her in the corridor, “Isak!”

“Hei!” He beams with a smile for her, and holds her into a tight hug, “I missed you,” he admits. 

“I missed you so much, sweetheart,” she kisses his forehead, “How’s my baby, then? Where’s Even?”

He leads her into the apartment, “I was telling him about you the other day, and about your painting, and he had the idea of taking you to the pottery painting shop?”

“That sounds so fun!” she exclaims, “Is he waiting downstairs, then?”

Isak nods at her, “Yeah, we took his mum’s car. You wanna grab your coat and go, then?”

She turns from him quickly, getting her phone from the side, and she unplugs her tablet - Isak questions what she needs that for but he doesn’t mention it - she slips that into her bag and lets her bag rest on her arm, “Can you just get my purple jacket? It’s in my bedroom, love.”

Isak rushes off and she unlocks the tablet to make sure the baby photos are all loaded up, and she smiles to herself. 

“Ready?” Isak asks, Marianne’s coat over his arm, “Got your keys?”

She nods, and links her arm into his as they walk back out. 

When they get back to the car, Even is waiting for them, leaning on the bonnet of it.

“Hei,” Even greets, “I’m Even, it’s so great to finally meet you, Miss Valtersen.” He hesitates with what to call her, he knew she’d never divorced Terje but he wasn’t too sure with her title these days - or even if she'd gone back to her maiden name.

Marianne gives him a hug, “Likewise, sweetheart, and call me Marianne.” She grins.

“I can see where Isak got his looks from - your hair and eyes are just like his!” He compliments after kissing her cheek, releasing the hug. 

“Oh he’s a charmer, isn't he, Isak?” 

“You have no idea,” Isak rolls his eyes and opens the passenger door for Marianne. 

. 

When they got to the pottering painting place, Marianne picked out a small dish, Isak chose a teacup, and Even decided on a teapot. They found a table and Isak went to find a tray of paints. 

“So, Isak tells me you really like painting these days?” Even begins. 

She nods excitedly, “Yeah, I remember I liked drawing when I was still in school but I never thought anything of it once I had Lea and then Isak. When I was still in hospital, they tried me on art therapy and it really helped so I kept it up when I got back out.”

“Isak said you liked painting nature stuff, right?”

“Mmhm, my favourite colour is green so that comes with that sort of thing,” Marianne points out, trying to find a pencil in the pot of paintbrushes on the table. 

“Mine is green as well.”

Isak comes back with two trays of paints, and takes a seat, pulling a pencil from behind his ear, “I knew one of you would want this.”

“Trained you well,” Marianne teases.

A few hours pass, and eventually Isak finds himself staring at something that looks a lot like a teacup, but the colours all resemble a red-brown-grey splodging nightmare. Even had made his teapot into a meadow - with grass along the bottom with a blue sky, clouds, and daylight, along with a yellow handle. Marianne had created a forest on her dish, with trees surrounding the outside of the bowl, and a river going through the inside. They put them all through to the main desk to be glazed and were told to come collect them after 2pm, so Even drove them all back to Marianne’s apartment. 

“Have fun, Mama?”

“I always do with you, bub,” she says softly, kissing his cheek, “Thank you.”

Isak holds onto her hand as they was through the door to her place, “No need, we both loved it too. I’ll pick up the dish for you and drop it off on our way home tomorrow.”

“No, baby, it’s for you - take it with you.”

“Thanks, Mama,” He notices Even coming through the door as he says it, “Do you want us to make some dinner?”

She puts her bag onto the table, “You don’t have to, we could-”

“No, no, sit down, Marianne. Isak and I will cook you some food, how does pasta sound?” Even sends Isak a wink. 

“Perfect.”

. 

After dinner, Marianne gets a twinkle in her eye that matches the one Even holds when he sees anything they can’t afford in a store. Isak doesn’t trust it at all. 

“So, Even…”

“I’m begging you to stop whatever you’re about to say,” Isak breathes out.

Marianne giggles to herself, pulling out the tablet Isak watched her slip into her bag this morning, “Oh this is my right as your mother. Baby Isak pictures?”

“I’ve been waiting three and a half years for this,” Even excitedly says, leaning in to see the screen. 

Marianne goes to her gallery, and picks out a clearly labelled folder for this exact moment. 

She flicks picture to picture - and Even gleams at each and every one. 

Isak wearing his sister’s t-shirt on his head as a wig. Isak wearing spagetti all over his chest. Isak and Lea ready for church, age six and nine. Isak’s first birthday party, holding onto a stuffed frog his auntie bought for him. 

“This is the one I had in the hospital with me,” Marianne says, and opens the last photograph, which was a photo taken of an old printed photo - Even could see the torn edge of it, and the fold down the middle which told him she took that image everywhere with her for a while. It’s Isak sat at a table, he has crayons surrounding him, the previously white piece of paper in front of him is decorated with a blue sky and a big rainbow, a sun just underneath it. He’s smiling at the camera, his hair curly and huge. He’s wearing a yellow t-shirt with dark denim dungarees. Even loves it. 

Even smiles, and takes hold of Isak’s hand before pulling it to his lips and leaves a kiss on his palm.

“I put it on the wall with some tape in my room at the hospital,” Marianne explained, “I had one of Lea as well, where she was making Isak’s birthday cake with me. I don’t have this one of Isak digitally anymore so I have to take a photo of the old copy I have. It’s my favourite one,” She cups her son’s face with her left hand, and smiles. 

.

Isak goes to the toilet before they go. He decides to wait behind the door for a second, and he hears them both talk. They’re quiet. 

“Did Isak tell you I have bipolar?”

He hears her hum, “Yes. He tells me you’re doing well.”

“I am. He’s great at looking after me when I’m not, though. I used to hate anyone caring for me because I was used to just being-”

“Just being a burden?”

Isak hears Even breathe out, “Exactly.”

“What changed?” Marianne asks, Isak can hear the tap running - he’s pretty sure his mum is making her night time tea. 

“Isak doesn’t make me feel that. He makes sure whatever he does is something I want. Like, when I’m depressed, he’ll help me take a shower or a bath but only if I want to. He doesn’t monitor me when I’m stable like I have been before. He’s just good.”

He hears his mother hum again, “He is good. I don’t know where he gets it from.” 

“From you.”

“You think so?”

“Of course,” Even says, “He thinks the world of you.”

“I’ve been scared that he resents me for what happened when he was growing up. I didn’t protect him from his father, and he had to move out so young-”

“He doesn’t, I promise you. Besides, Eskild did well to look after him when he moved out,” Even mentions, “I’m sure he’d tell you as much.”

Isak decides to join them after that.

“Hei, made your tea, Mamma?”

She nods her head, and opens her arms, “Come here, baby.”

He walks over and into her arms, and he holds her tightly, he can feel her placing kisses on his head. 

“You’ll call me when you’re home safe tomorrow?”

Even takes her hand, “We will,” he kisses her cheek and Isak kisses the other. 

“Love you Mama,” Isak tells her.

“I know you do, love. I love you to the moon,” she whispers, “And you,” she turns to Even, “Keep looking after him for me, will you?”

“I wouldn’t dream of stopping,” Even promises her. 

“You’re a lovely boy, I’m glad you’re both happy now,” she praises, “You look after Even too, Isak?”

“I promise, Mamma.”

. 

When Even and Isak get to the car, Even cups Isak’s cheeks and kisses him. It’s the type of kiss that reminds Isak that Even isn’t going anywhere, and as long as he has him, he’s okay. 

“Thank you for letting me meet her,” Even says as he drives out of the car park, “She’s beautiful just like you. I guess it’s a Valtersen thing, hm?”

“Maybe,” Isak puts his hand on top of Even’s that was holding his knee. 

“You’re the most precious thing in the world to me, you know that?”

Isak raises his hand to stroke over Even’s hair as he drives. 

He knows.

fin.