Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ochako does not like silence.

While there is peace and solitude that can be found in it, silence could also mean the absence of laughter, the lack of words, and the death of happiness. The more it stretches, the more it feels unsettling.

For her, more than solace, it is grimness that fills each second of the quiet.

While she feels strongly about this, this is not how she viewed it before. Silence can be comforting especially with the right person. There is no need to fill the gaps with forced laughter and curated speeches. She does not have to pretend and to mind anything else.

When the quiet blows, being carried with the air that envelops her, if it is with Deku, it always embraces her with nothing but freedom.

As much as she enjoys listening to him, hearing him laugh, throwing jokes at him, and offering him the praises he deserved, when the stillness finally comes, that is when their hearts beat in sync. That is their time to acknowledge each other’s presence and how they affect one another with their mere selves. It always, always makes her heart float even without the use of her Quirk. Without doing anything extravagant, Deku still stirs something inside her.

Yet with the room drowning in silence right now, how come that rapid beat of her heart sounds like a ticking bomb that will explode? How come she hears the grains of sand falling in the glass when there is no hourglass in the room? How come she can hear herself weeping and weeping when her eyes are dry and her lips are closed?

How come this silence with Deku painfully peels away her sanity?

She remembers her cries and screams some days ago inside her room. If not for the presence of the girls, she did not know how to face the next days that came.

She remembers those teary nights when her swollen brown eyes refused to close and rest. Yaomomo had to give her a specially blended tea just to be able to relax even by a bit.

She remembers all those questions and regrets strangling her even until now.

I should’ve stopped him.

What should I do? 

I should’ve been a better friend.

What can I do?

Is there anything that I can do?

Before all these start to deafen her, she decides to break the silence.

Deku - kun .

His name was supposed to leave her lips and reach him with her voice as his green eyes remain fixated outside the window, framed by the slits of blinds. Only the faint light from outside entering the gaps of the blinds serves as the rays that shape his face; bars of light against his tanned skin, bouncing on his white shirt, while he continues to look outside.

His name remains stuck with her inner voice, not daring to slip.

She couldn’t. She couldn’t call him and get his attention even when his eyes are looking in a direction that she could not reach at all.

He’s going away.

And she’s just watching.

Her fingers curl, threatening to rip her skin with those nails digging to her palm and knuckles tightening.

Don’t go.

The silence remains with her mouth hanging open, only air managing to escape. But he turns to her as if he had heard her agonizing screams piercing the air.

Deku looks at her as they stay in the almost empty room – the barely lit waiting area. A mud-colored carpet that is housing dust, cream-colored walls with slightly parched floral wallpapers, a cobweb hanging by the mint-colored ceiling, a mahogany table in the middle matched with chocolate-inspired antique drawers, a white wall clock, and some faded olive green couches. She knows because she has memorized all these complementary colors of the place to distract herself all this time.

Yet, how ironic it is to see all these browns and greens in a room that has aged in time, seemingly inseparable despite bearing signs of brokenness.

Chocolate and mint.

Mud and grass.

Branches and leaves.

These are the colors of the earth. These colors give a sense of calm and life. Seeing how these colors speak of the two of them wants to make her think that they will be together too.

If only their colors could bind them.

As she focuses on him again, all these details are forgotten now that he is looking at her as he slowly flashes a smile. Ochako feels like the whole room gets filled with light. It is so bright that it frightens her, shaking her insides, making her want to throw up. It is so bright that she feels like it is going to engulf her and not leave anything behind.

Something tumbles inside her stomach and it is not the butterflies fluttering every time he smiles at her.

She tries to talk again but nothing still comes out and as she struggles to break the silence again, that is when he does it for her, to save her from shattering.

“Uraraka-san, wanna do something to pass time?” His tone sounds so kind with no sign of fear or anguish. It almost shames her, how he can still be his brave self in spite of his situation.

Ochako’s mind plays a lot of things the moment he had asked her that.

One. This is something Deku wants. He may not have said it as a plea, but for him to offer it means that it is something in his mind all this time.

Two. Time will continue to pass. And that scares her. The urge to glance at the clock ticking boils inside her but she tries to suppress it. Can she take the fact that time is running out? Can she even stomach how many hours are left for them to be together?

Three. He is smiling for her. Deku is not smiling at her, but for her. Her face must be making the most horrified expression right now and seeing him comfort her with that curl in his lips pains her.

Ochako tightens her hold onto herself with hands continuing to ball into fists. She hides it by placing both hands behind her.

To acknowledge all his efforts, she smiles through it all, hiding her hands shaking from fear and from the pain.

All for Deku-kun.

“Sure, what do you have in mind?” She can only hope that her voice sounded curious enough and not full of dread.

Deku’s smile gets bigger and that makes the hole in her heart grow bigger too.

“Let’s think of happy thoughts.”

Ochako is unable to process his next words well. What she only knows is that he grabs her hand, jokingly reminds her to not use her Quirk on him, says something about how he has a lot of ideas, pulls her to the couch, and asks to sit down next to him.

For a moment, she feels like he would not let go of her hand and she finds comfort in that brief moment. As soon as she feels him pull away, she fights the urge to squeeze his hand and beg it to stay.

She forces herself to smile again, numbing her lips, trying to match this story he is pushing to be stitched.

“What kind of happy thoughts?” Ochako manages to ask.

Deku hums, eyebrows furrowing the slightest, lips pursing forward. His scarred hand lands on his chin as he projects his favorite thinking position. “It’s kinda vague, but I was thinking of dreaming together.”

“Dreaming… together?” Ochako starts to hate herself more for sounding like a parrot just repeating his words.

He nods, the smile not leaving him at any second. “I wanted this day to be special.”

When he says that, she feels like her chest has just been stabbed but she still holds herself together.

Thankfully, he continues saying, “I know you don’t like expensive stuff, so I thought of something free and fun. Which is dreaming.”

Ochako could tell that it is another joke he is trying to tell to lighten up the mood, yet she could not even make herself giggle. Her fake smile continues to be glued on her face as she nods. “Okay! How… do we do it exactly?”

He actually looks beyond happy when she agreed. “Well, basically, I give a scenario and we take turns in expanding it. We can ask questions or just talk and describe. It doesn’t have a format or anything.”

Maybe she should mind how long they have been talking to keep track of the time or how all these make her feel. But Ochako focuses on him as he enthusiastically explains what dreaming with her means. Or maybe, she is too drawn to him right now.

If Deku is trying, she also has to try.

“Alright. Sounds good.”

“Okay. I’ll start! So… let’s say our shift as pros just ended. It was a tiring day fighting villains, saving the day, and dealing with some paperwork.”

“Ahuh.”

“Then I tell you that I have magic tickets that allow us to go to any country. Where do you wanna go?”

Honestly, Ochako was not expecting that, especially the magic tickets part. But she decides to run free with him in this dreamland he wishes to create with her.

“Maybe US… in Hawaii? Mom and Dad said they had fun on their trip there.” She offers a smile that is probably more genuine than the first ones. Her story is true anyway. Too bad she was on duty at her internship at that time and could not be with them despite winning tickets at a lottery. But she is more than glad to finally give them that vacation that was only a dream when she was still a kid.

“That works!”

“Wait, I haven’t asked you yet,” she says.

“It’s fine. Remember, this is a dream. We can go to the next spot later.”

Ochako actually giggles at that and that surprises her, but the way Deku looks at her when she finally laughed even by a bit, tells her how much he wanted to see her like that.

She does not let herself lose to a frown so she continues to smile while he asks her another thing.

“Okay, what do you wanna do there?”

She hums before answering. “Basic stuff first! Like surfing and swimming? Oh and you and I gotta have a competition!”

It’s free to dream right?

Deku chuckles to that and it sounds like music that soothes her ears. “I won’t lose to you, Uraraka-san.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I’d never look down on your skills, but I think this’ll be my win. I’ve trained my legs well which I think would be suited for surfing.”

Ochako wiggles a finger. “Remember that balance is key. With my training with Zero Gravity, I’m sure I’ll nail it.”

“Mmm good point.” Deku pauses, murmurs some things she couldn’t quite catch, then says, “I think I just lost. You did well, Uraraka-san! Congratulations!”

She giggles again and picks up more enthusiasm. “Oh and I’d surely bury you in sand as punishment!”

He scratches a cheek. “That seems pretty mild…”

“You’re right…” Then she smirks. “Want worse punishments?”

Deku laughs again and Ochako laughs with him. As their words and laughter dance in the air, so do the images in their heads. They imagine themselves, running on the bays of the islands of Hawaii, playing in the salty water, their foot leaving marks in the sand, and the beautiful sunset watching them.

Then the dark blue sky comes, providing them the calm after the heat. The moon watches like a half-opened eye. The waves crash cradling their ears to nature’s sound, tickling their bare feet. The blanket of darkness makes them feel serene and not fear especially with the moon not hiding from the clouds.

“Since it’s night time now, how about fire dancing?”

“Woah fire dancing looks cool but I’m not sure if I’ll try or watch.” Then Ochako’s eyes light up. “Or wait! That could be your punishment for losing!”

“Uraraka-san, you already buried me in sand and made me carry you around the beach.”

She lands a playful jab on his shoulder as she laughs again. They sound silly.

As Deku laughs, his eyes light up again. “I got an idea. We can dance together!”

“…E-Eh?” Ochako reacts not to his words but when he suddenly holds her left hand with his right.

Deku just smiles and as she drowns into those green eyes, it feels like she really is in Hawaii, enjoying the cold breeze of the night and the warmth provided by the flames. But it is his hand holding hers that gives her the warmest feeling.

They would sit on a wooden log, sand squeezing between their toes, air surrounding them, a dance of fire right in front of them. But instead of watching the performance, they would only look at each other, emotions swelling in their chests.

Deku would pull her up as she happily joins him stand up, clumsily stepping to a tune they never heard before, but slowly getting into the rhythm, hands still clasped, smiles sewn to their lips. They would exchange spots, palms brushing, hands interchanging, but never letting go of each other. Her hair tickles her face as she sways with the wind, while she could see his cheeks puffing as he shows his teeth at her.

Everything surrounding them blurs. Even the balls of fire look like unclear floating orbs of orange light. The plucked strings of the ukulele sound distant. The echoes of the bonged pahu grow faint.

It is as if she and Deku are dancing to their pulses instead of the music on the island that night.

Then Deku laughs and she is brought back to the two of them seated together on the couch. Ochako finds herself laughing too and she is thankful to hear that his laughter is part of reality too and not just the illusion they were playing in their minds.

“Wow… that was fun!” she tells him and he nods.

“I don’t think I can dance perfectly like that without being taught by Ashido-san.”

“You sell yourself short, Deku-kun. It’s a great dance!”

Deku laughs again and he still does not let go of her hand. So she finally finds the courage to squeeze it and that stops him momentarily as he looks at her.

She gives him a smile that comes from her heart, trying to forget her fears that may spill anytime she loosens her guard.

"What's next?"

Chapter Text

Dreaming is indeed free. Who knew that through words, she and Deku could dance in Hawaii, bask in the landscapes of Indonesia, dine in France, and ski in Iceland? All in one sitting, only with their mouths paving the way and their minds providing the vivid images of themselves making memories in different parts of the world.

Ochako could not understand how everything played so clearly, that she could see herself following the wind and admiring the sunrise with Deku. How she can still feel the thrill of having a skiing competition with him or the frost crawling under her skin that wintery ride down the slope of the white hill. How she can still taste the richness of the tomatoes and the softness of the pasta in her mouth, as he fed her (with his face as red as the sauce). Or how stiff she can still feel her limbs in awkward poses when she served as his clumsy model for his photography practice.

She feels warm all over, just thinking of all these things they’ve done .

Together .

With Deku-kun.

Ochako peeks at him while he continues to be absorbed as he wraps up ‘their’ underground cave adventure in the Philippines.

She tries to hide that fond smile by bowing her head a bit forward and hopes that the faint lighting of the room does a bad job of showing the true color of her face.

All the silence is drowned out now and that calms her.

“Ready for the next scenario?” he asks cutting through the air of her dreaminess.

“Oh yeah! Forgot about that,” Ochako says giggling. Their hands are not intertwined anymore but they are facing each other right now like sharing this tiny space in a wooden boat. Her legs are folded in front of her chest, hands on her knees. She is wearing a skirt but she is wearing leggings underneath which is a garment that makes her movements more relaxed. Deku’s side leans on the soft backrest of the sofa, an arm on it while one of his legs is hanging by the sofa, foot on the floor, while his other is resting comfortably on the cushion. Both of their shoes are discarded on the floor, right under the table so they can place their socked feet on the cushion.

“It’s kinda weird though.” He scratches his head with hesitance.

Ochako tilts her head. It can’t be that weird when they literally thought of going around the world. “Bring it.”

“Okay.” The words seem to be stuck in his throat as he looks to the side.

She is about to ask him, but he unintentionally interrupts.

“I’d like… to take care of you.”

Not a word enters her mind when she hears that. Her automatic reaction is to feel her cheeks grow warmer while her lips freeze, stammering a one-syllable, “H-Huh?”

Deku further leans on the backrest, cheek on the foam. “We-Well… you’ve always taken care of me, Uraraka-san. Just thought I should give back?”

She still could not find the best response to say while he continues to talk.

“So many times after classes, you’re the first to rush and ask if I’m okay. You always have my back. And… I really can’t thank you enough when you helped me that one time I had a fever.”

She feels her heart tug, remembering all those things that she just did without asking anything in return. Deku’s trait has always been helping others first before himself. Just feeling the rush of helping in his veins, his body moving even before thinking. It is one of the things that she admires about him.

Ochako stops herself from frowning. Acknowledging this to be his best trait right now reminds her of that stab in her heart. Knowing that his tendency to sacrifice will bring him his…

End .

She feels herself catching her breath like being choked for a split second. The very thought of that haunts her ever since—

“Uraraka-san?”

He comes closer, alarmed that even her forced smile is not serving as a good façade anymore.

What’s wrong?

She could read those words in his face. But he does not say it. Because he knows what is wrong.

He knows.

This is why he is doing all these things.

Ochako tries to distract herself, not letting those thoughts make her feel emotions that are more than what she could handle right now. So she makes sure to breathe and ease her chest with oxygen. “So-So what’s the scenario?”

Deku just looks at her. He breathes in and she swears that he is about to say something. Instead of letting it out though, he just extends his arms, grabs her and pulls her towards him. A hero like Ochako would have definitely reacted in time to evade. But not when it is a gentle movement that secures her frame. Not when it is from Deku.

The person that she loves. So much.

Next thing she knows, her chin is already resting on his shoulder while his strong arms are wrapped around her, big hands on her back.

“De-Deku-kun…!?”

He buries his head to her shoulder, holding her tighter and she almost stops breathing, trying to process the very happening.

Ochako’s hands remain in the air, awkwardly hanging, unable to relax on his shoulders or touch the edge of the couch. She just does not know what to do right now, contemplating whether to stay or try to break free from him. The way he holds her tells her that she cannot escape though.

“Wha-What… I-Is this part of the scenario?” She tries to contain the wild beating of her heart as he nods, his skin brushing against the crook of her neck.

She feels one of his hands lift off her back as it lands on her head gently. He pats her and slowly allows his fingers to brush against her scalp. “You’re sick. You shouldn’t move around so much…” he manages to say and she tries her best to not mind his breath tickling her skin.

Ochako nods and slowly relaxes in his hold, hands lightly tapping on his back. “Why… am I sick?” she tries to continue this silly game they are playing, also to stop all these questions and all these emotions that will make her chest explode.

Deku continues patting her head and she gets used to that warm brushing that she leans her head sideways against his ear.

“You just came from a rescue mission and passed out at the doorstep of our apartment.”

“O-Our apartment!?”

Wait. She does not expect that scenario and she finds her temperature rising, their current position not helping in maintaining a more stable surge of emotions.

Deku stiffens, shoulders jolting the slightest. “Tha-That’s not important, Uraraka-san…!”

“I-It is! Why-Why are we sharing a unit!?”

“I-It’s to cut the bills.”

Ochako starts laughing, trembling against him as the happiness comes out of her. Is Deku serious? While the whole thing is supposed to be embarrassing, his reasoning kind of makes sense. She could not argue anymore.

“Okay, okay.” She says while still laughing, her tone merry and carefree.

She feels him chuckling too and his mouth being so close to her ear makes her love the sound of that laughter more. She smiles and is glad that with their current position, she does not have to hide how her red cheeks are all stretched by just hearing him being happy.

“So… I passed out…” she continues.

“Yeah. It rained hard and you got sick.”

“Isn’t that kinda lame?” She sinks to his hold, putting all her weight on him while he continues rubbing her head.

“That’s… not the reaction I was expecting.”

“Well, wouldn’t it be more epic if I passed out after rescuing a lot of people? Or after kicking some villains’ butts?” To match those words, she raises her fists for a bit and punches the air. It is something that sounds funny for her so she is not ready for that response she gets.

“I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Ochako takes a breath, also trying to take in the words he just said.

“I don’t like seeing you hurt too, Deku-kun…”

For a moment, no one speaks but she feels him hold her tighter as she does the same. His hand is still stroking her hair and the gesture calms her as they continue to embrace each other, not wishing to let go.

The silence does not scare her anymore if she is with him.

“As I said… I wanna take care of you.”

The brunette does not know what to say so she just hums to that and tries to concentrate on the way he touches her head and how she loves it.

Being best friends, this is probably the longest and closest they have ever been. Well maybe just the longest when they have shared some occasional hugs, had sudden rescue pulls, or were just close most of the time. But for an embrace to be this tender and heartfelt, this is definitely a first.

The very closeness says something that she cannot explain.

“Okay, so what happens next?” she asks.

“I’ll nurse you back to health.”

“Wow, aspiring to be Recovery Girl, huh?” As soon as she says it, Ochako immediately regrets it, remembering the hero’s way of healing.

“So-So-So you’ll cook for me?” An attempt to save herself and their conversation. Thankfully, Deku picks up on it and does his part.

“Ye-Yeah. I-I researched meals for the sick! And I’ve watched my Mom cook so I know my way around the kitchen. I’ll make you porridge with pickled vegetables, eggs… boiled or scrambled?”

A giggle after a pause as she tries to process Deku working in the kitchen. He seems the type to ramble too while cooking and the image is something really amusing. “Scrambled sounds delish.”

“Okay. Then some pork mince… or white fish, which do you prefer?”

Ochako is all smiles. “Pork mince please.”

“Got it, then shitake mushrooms. I’ll make sure you drink lots of water, take the proper meds, and get lots of sleep. Plenty of it.”

“Ehhh… It’ll be lonely to just stay in bed...” She fake whines.

“But I’ll watch you.”

She hums. “Thanks, Deku-kun.”

Ochako closes her eyes as she feels his fingertips tracing against her hair and he continues to narrate. She begins to imagine Deku’s worried face through a hazy vision.

Cold hands soaked in iced water and a towel being wiped to her face. It would make her shiver at first but he would try to stroke her face to calm her, gentle hands soothing the dizziness and lightheadedness. He would smile at her just to assure that she would be fine as if she is a child that is scared of sickness. But his eyebrows would betray him as it continues to be sewn together out of worry.

She would nod, pulling the blankets over her, returning the smile and thanking him. She would be embarrassed, thinking that she is being a bother to him. But he would say that he wants to take care of her so she should just let him and rely on him at such times.

Then Deku would urge her to eat his cooking that he insists to be good and healthy for the sick while mumbling all the health benefits of his rice porridge.

Of course, she would tease him, telling him it is too salty at first. And when he frowns, that is when she finally tells him the truth that it really is tasty. She would thank him again.

Deku would smile too and start muttering all kinds of reminders on ways to take care of herself.

The images are not as adventurous as the previous scenarios. But Ochako feels a sense of security as she and Deku share that space in their envisioned unit. It is a space that is only for them. It is a place where she can be vulnerable and forget the might of a hero for a while, showing him her weakest state but being taken care of instead of being mocked for it.

“You should sleep, Uraraka-san.”

“But I’m not sleepy,” she says, the small laugh breaking out.

“I’m worried,” he tells her and the tone seems different compared to a while ago. “You haven’t been sleeping lately.”

When he says that, she knows that something is just different. Like he is not talking as part of their scenario play anymore.

“I... I couldn’t. I thought it wasn’t that obvious.” She tries to fake it with a joke. The safest way.

She feels him take a breath before saying, “That’s why... sleep.”

Maybe with him hugging her and his hand caressing her, she would happily slip to her slumber and surrender to his warmth. But not right now.

“I… can’t.”

“I’ll be with you.”

Ochako chews on her bottom lip. Did he really have to say that? She feels the pain in her chest again and wonders if it would ever go away when it has been making its lair at the very center. Even being this close to him starts to feel painful right now.

I’ll be with you.

She keeps on hearing his words and it continues to break her.

“What if...” Her voice cracks a bit. “What if when I wake up… you’re gone?”

Deku’s hand stops and rests on her head.

Once again, silence falls upon them. And this time, it feels heavier that it could just crush the whole of her.

He does not even have any answer for her. Because both of them know the truth.

“So… I won’t sleep,” she says, unable to bear it anymore. “I’ll keep you company, Deku-kun.”

He does not respond as quickly, but he says, “Thanks, Uraraka-san…”

Deku’s hand starts to pat her again and she embraces him tighter, pondering how she can gather herself again when he leaves.

Chapter Text

Something makes her chest swell as her shoulders rise and fall with her breathing. It is probably her heart that is so full right now, beating against his chest, feeling his heartbeat too. She allows her eyes to close and just feel every inch of him under her.

Ochako may not admit it out loud for both of them to hear, but she does not want to let go anymore. Not when he is this close and not when it feels like she can make him stay in her arms forever by the very simple act of hugging him.

It may be selfish of her to have all these feelings, but during this time, with only the two of them in the room, and the whole number of hours just for them, who is she trying to deceive? This is what she wanted to do all this time. To just keep him by her side and just make sure he is safe.

“Ura-raka-san…?”

Instinctively, she hugs him tighter, hand stroking the green strands of his hair. She feels him stop patting her but she does not mind even if she craves for his touch. What matters is that he is so close to her.

Fear shrouds her again and she just hopes that he does not sense it.

Is it time to let go? She does not even know how long they are already in this position. The very position is supposed to be nudging all her nerves to feel all kinds of embarrassment and shame, but she cannot feel anything else right now other than the urgency to just protect him.

“U-Uraraka-san…”

She holds him tighter.

I can’t.

She cannot let go. Not now.

Never.

“Uraraka-san…!”

“Ye-Yeah!?” The word snaps out of her mouth as his call gets her attention.

“Yo-You’re cho—king me…!”

She has probably given him a thousand apologies over the last few minutes. It may seem impossible but the words just overflowed in her mouth and she could not stop herself from letting her I’m sorry’s explode. Until he raises his hand, a palm facing her, telling her to stop it. She purses her lips together but she could feel the apology itching to come out.

Even now that they are not talking as Deku tries to regain his freedom to breathe, a hand on his neck, the apology continues to rewind in her head, reminding her how much of an idiot she actually is. If her mouth will not repeat it, her brain would do it gladly for her.

However, she could not exactly get rid of this thing she just branded as selfishness .

How can she even do that? When these moments with Deku are numbered? How many hours do they have left anyway?

And here they are playing scenarios that will never happen.

Is this even the right thing to do? Is this the right way to spend the remaining time? His remaining time?

Ochako finds herself sinking to a pool of unanswered questions.

For the first time in her life, she starts to doubt the essence of being a hero.

What does it mean to be a hero?

This question has lingered in her mind even before she entered UA last year and now she is almost a third year. Just in a few flips of the calendar page. While she is still piecing out her answer to the very question, as she watches the person right beside her, a different kind of question keeps on ringing inside her that is somehow related to it.

Is this the only way to be a hero?

It has been about two weeks ever since Deku made the announcement to all of them in Alliance Heights, with everyone in 2-A present, as well as their previous adviser Aizawa-sensei. The most jarring thing is that the smile on his face was present too, despite the topic that he brought up.

“I’ll have to undergo an operation to enhance my body for my Quirk.”

What everyone thought was going to be a normal rest day came with that important announcement that would change their coming days.

While Deku has done all he can to control his Quirk, his body had taken so much damage in the process. As Aizawa-sensei said, “This is not a scar collection competition.”

Through All Might and Recovery Girl’s connections, Deku found a doctor who is willing to help him continue his hero journey.

“But it’ll put me to sleep for several months or even… a year.”

“Before any of you react, we’ve had months of discussion with both Midoriya and his family about this,” Aizawa-sensei intervened with the mixed gasps and counters of their classmates.

Deku only smiled at them. “But I’ve decided. There’s no way that I can abandon this path anymore.”

“Do you really have to do this, Deku-kun?”

Ochako immediately covers her mouth as she realizes the question that just came out of her mouth.

She notices the immediate tension in the air and she tries to retrieve the earlier comfort but no words leave her anymore. Her brain has stopped thinking. Her mouth has stopped responding.

She just does not know what to say anymore to ease anything between them.

When that question has been trying to get out of her all this time…

For the remaining weeks, the class has been treating Deku like a king. Satou has cooked all meals he could ever ask for, from his favorites to even cuisines that his palate have never tasted before. Bakugou has given him some rare All Might merchandise the latter has hidden in his room (after a few spars). Ashido has taught him more dance moves. Iida has given him a pair of glasses and some hero manuals. Aoyama has given him cheese everyday (sculpted to look like his face). Jirou has started giving him guitar lessons. Everyone threw parties for him, even the faculty.

As the days continued to pass, the atmosphere is more evident but Deku only gave them a smile. All of them were scared for what is to come but no one dared to speak about it when most of their time was spent giving Deku the best of his days.

Of course, during those days that Deku spent time with his family and with All Might, the topic inevitably came up. Discussions were ugly and Ochako always found herself speechless. There were lots of crying, screaming, and even blaming. But the likes of Iida and Todoroki gave confidence boosts to everyone, saying that they believe in Deku. Even Bakugou who managed 'to shut everyone's trap' by saying "Deku's a stubborn ass."

Ochako does too. She trusts Deku more than anyone.

She too wanted to be like them. She too wanted to share those lights in their eyes. But deep inside her, she knows what her heart is screaming for.

Don’t do it.

“Deku-kun, I—” She faces him and is welcomed by his calm smiling face. He shakes his head. His hair sways to the subtle movement.

Don’t do it. That is what he is telling her.

Don’t say it.

As he maintains that wall of strength, she could only bite her lip and ball her fists on her lap. She wipes a stubborn tear that surrenders and falls, but she sniffs and tries to suck all the remaining tears in her eyes. Ochako looks up, not letting herself succumb and lose.

She cannot lose.

If Deku is doing his best as that nickname that she gave a new meaning to, how can she? How dare she?

In a second, she feels his head crash on her lap but she is too focused on her current task that she only screams in confusion at that. If she looks down, the tears will just fall. So she just keeps her hands away and lets him relax on her lap.

“Wha-What are you doing?” She manages to ask after another sniff.

“The sky looks nice, right?”

“Wha-What?” Her voice sounds like a croak but she just ignores it and she is sure he will too.

“The night sky. We’re stargazing right now.”

She almost laughs if not for the crying. A scenario...What a great distraction.

“Ye-Yeah…” She tries to imagine a dark blue sky on the ceiling with thousands of stars twinkling at them, all shining for them. The image does not look vivid though. It is too hard to shift to it when she continues to bottle up her emotions.

Deku sure is amazing…

“You like the starry sky, right, Uraraka-san?”

Ochako nods, the tears that have yet to fall starting to dry already. She is still looking up as her eyes focus on nothingness. She closes her eyes and listens heartily to his words that try to caress her hurting heart.

Thankfully, the trance begins.

A sky painted with the dark clouds but meshing with the iciness of blue puffs. She is seated on a picnic blanket on a grassy field, the cool wind enveloping their figures. His head rests on her lap as they watch the sky with all sorts of stars staring back at them. Little lights with little rays twinkling as if waving at them.

He would talk about the constellations he can see in those collections of twinkles. A finger would point up while she tries to look for where he is pointing at that starry map laid out for them.

Then she would write in the air with her finger, forming words from the starry points, connecting those lights no matter how silly that looks.

“Back when I was a kid… I used to be scared of the dark. I’d ask my parents to leave the light open so I can fall asleep.” Ochako giggles a bit at the memory. “But I… kinda overheard them talking about electricity bills… I just… I just thought that maybe I should try to be braver. I mean, how can I even become a hero if I’m scared of the dark, right?”

“I think it’s normal to fear something though.”

Ochako hums. To hear that coming from him of all people…

If everyone… If she is scared… what more for him? She really is an idiot.

She takes a deep breath and finally looks down, not feeling the tears dwelling in her eyes anymore. “Deku-kun!”

He looks visibly surprised. “Ye-Yeah?”

“My Mom and Dad told me that if not for the darkness, the stars could never be this bright… That’s… That’s how I fell in love with the starry sky. From something that scared me… it turned into something that encouraged me. A lot of things are scary out there… but stars only shine the brightest in the darkest. I’d like to believe…”

Deku did not want to talk about it… but she hopes that even through these metaphors, he can understand her.

And she is convinced that he does.

His smile goes so bright that it is even brighter than all those stars in her imagination combined.

Still laying on her lap, his green hair is in a mess, but the way he looks at her right now and the way his lips are curled… She wants to savor that moment. It is much more beautiful than anything else.

“Uraraka-san?”

She does not answer at first but she just stares at him. After a few seconds, she regains a bit of her consciousness.

“Mhm?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

She feels her eyes go wide, her mouth following with a silent gasp. They are now back to the room, everything else in that evening disappearing in a poof.

“Wha—t?”

Izuku’s smile gets wiped off in an instant and he gets up. Good thing she is able to evade him or their foreheads would have clashed in that abrupt movement.

“I-I mean…!”

Ochako peeks at him who has his back facing her. Did she hear it right?

As the silence stretches and she could not stand it anymore. “Deku-kun?”

He finally faces her, his whole face red even in the dim room.

“I-I mean in the scenario… u-under the sky… What if… What if I ask you to be my girlfriend?”

Of course. It is the scenario. She tries to calm herself. It’s just a scenario, Ochako.

“Well uhm… that’s…”

“I-I think it’s romantic… with all the stars as witness… What do you think?” he continues.

“Of-Of course…! I-It is…” Her nervous laugh only contributes to the awkwardness.

“…”

“…”

The silence comes back and it haunts her.

And they avoid each other’s eyes. How ironic when it is only the two of them and when they were just so close moments ago.

Then Ochako finds the courage to say it.

“I-It’s part of the… scenario right?”

“A-Ah yeah…”

“Then…”

Deku looks at her.

“I’d say… yes.”

Chapter Text

“So, ‘girlfriend’... what do you wanna do next... ‘girlfriend’?” he asks her in the most unnatural way, tone bending to forced energy that she becomes too embarrassed to look at him anymore. He honestly did not have to start calling her girlfriend every chance he got.

“De-Deku-kun… I kinda… got the point…” If her voice sounds so squeezed , similar to a pleading squeal (if that makes sense), she could care less. Right now, her face feels all crinkled, trying to deal with that layer of warmth that stubbornly makes her skin all tingly.

Ochako hears him take a sharp breath as a low “So-Sorry” leaves his mouth.

“I-It’s okay…” She tries to get rid of the awkwardness but to no avail, the attempt just thickens the tension swimming freely in the air filling the room… until he says—

“I’ve… never had a girlfriend so I’m unsure…”

She never thought his voice could sound quieter than when they first met. But now the very sound presents itself again, just emphasizing how he feels about the whole thing.

They are best friends so it may be natural for her to know if he indeed stepped into a romantic relationship with anyone (and Ochako knows that he has not at all). But… the feeling is still a bit different once the topic is brought to the table.

“It’s fine, Deku-kun. I mean… I haven’t had a boyfriend too.” This is the only response that she knows. Because it is true. And hopefully, letting him know that she is on the same boat as he would lessen the embarrassment he is feeling. Something about knowing that you are not alone is always settling. At least for her.

“Why not?” he asks her after a pause and she wonders if she can actually answer it truthfully. How can she even say that the reason is that she likes him all this time?

Should she lie? For the nth time? She unknowingly crumples the hems of her skirt as she tries to think of the right response to tell him.

“Ah I mean, only if you wanna answer,” he says immediately. It seems that the follow up does not suffice because he starts apologizing again .

“No-No, it’s fine. I’m just…” She just what?

Her words leave him hanging and she could tell that as he inches closer to her, head leaning forward, waiting for what she would say next.

“Okay, will you hear me out, Deku-kun?”

“Yes, of course.”

Ochako presses her hands together, her pink fingertips finding comfort in squeezing one another. She lets her hair cover a part of her face while she looks down, mesmerized by her hands.

“Well, when you enter a relationship… you share a part of yourself with the other person, right? And I think… though I have no experience at all… I’m kinda confident that I can accept them. But I’m not sure if they’ll accept me too.”

This is so uncharacteristic of her. She has never given these thoughts much of her time. Usually, when it comes to the topic of love and relationships, it is always about her being satisfied to be his friend. Just happy to be by his side. Just fine with being able to talk to him like normal. Being his ally. But now… she just realizes that the biggest thing is that she never thought of the possibility of him liking her at all.

Deku is an amazing person. And while she does not think of herself as someone inferior to that, she just cannot imagine him falling in love with her at all.

He always faces challenges head-on. His goals are backed by pure intentions. He does not always get to the top, but he always tries his best and that just makes him shine brighter more than anyone. The people around him cannot help but be drawn to him and just support him.

She just does not add to the equation.

It is weird now that she thinks about it. How she is just focused on her feelings for him and the thought of getting it back has not crossed her mind at all.

Deku is just amazing...

“But Uraraka-san, you’re amazing!”

She smiles at that, shoulders slightly shrugging. Not that she wishes to dismiss his praise. Just that, it really is him who is amazing and she would never get sick of repeating that to herself, to anyone or to him. How Deku is able to hold himself together despite the peril that shall come, when she remains frightened every waking second. He is someone so unbelievable. Heroes face all kinds of danger. But this whole thing is more than all those that they have faced.

“No, I’m serious!”

“I know you are!” she says, a giggle clapping back.

“Uraraka-san, you don’t seem to acknowledge that.”

She scratches her head, fingertips gently massaging her scalp. “Well, thanks, Deku-kun, I guess?” Not a confirmation from her side at least.

This time, Deku suddenly pulls her wrist, the one settled on her head, which forces her to face him. Once again she is welcomed by those green eyes that give her clarity about everything every time. His eyes have always been like glass that shows so much about his emotions, about his personality, about the whole him. It makes it easier for her to just talk to him when he is so transparent and when he does not try to be someone he is not.

She should be minding the way his hand slips from her wrist and holds onto her hand. The way his thumb slides to her palm and his fingers relax on her knuckles... But she is too trapped into his gaze to feel the sensation.

“If there’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you… It’s that you’re amazing, Uraraka-san. I… I’ve always thought of that. Ever since I met you.”

“Deku-kun! I’m not the one who destroyed a giant robot with just a punch!” Instinctively, she holds his hand tighter to stress her point.

“That’s not it. Even before the exam started, you already helped me. From tripping.”

Ochako lets out a small laugh as the memory comes back to her. Was it really the very first time they met? It sure does not feel like that at all when they have been through so much. It is hard to believe that their meeting started with something like that.

She waves her free hand. “But it’s a small thing,” she says it without any ill meaning. It really is just a small thing that she could have done for anyone.

In fact, right now, it is the opposite. She wants to do something big for him. But what can she do exactly? She does not even know. And that slowly kills her.

“It may be for you, but it’s not for me. Uraraka-san, we shouldn’t measure any kind of help. The fact that you helped me… meant so much. And that’s not just it. You continued to help me whenever you can! You always cheered for me. You trusted me. You were always… here.”

The way he says the last word somehow sends something to her. Like how tender it sounded… how the intensity of his voice slowed down and how gently it left his lips.

“So please… don’t think of that. I think whoever… becomes your boyfriend… will be the luckiest person in the world.”

Ochako’s breath almost stops when she feels the sudden blow that lands on her heart as he says that. From the gentleness that calmed her, the way he said this one sounds so… sad. It sounds too melancholic that it just does not suit him. It is almost a whisper but the confusion in her is knocking so loud to the emptiness. Like glass slowly breaking, the cracks taking time to get through the base, ready to fall to dust anytime. Why…?

Why is he looking down now? Why is he not facing her anymore? Why is it that all those determination in his face as he tells her that she is amazing is all gone now?

Why Deku-kun?

This time she pulls his hand and he looks up to her again. His eyes look glassy and she wonders where all that brokenness came from? Just a while ago he looked so strong that no one can bring him down. But now, he looks so… shattered.

Her lower lip trembles so she bites it and allows her other hand to rise and cup him on the cheek.

“What’re you saying, ‘boyfriend’? Aren’t you my boyfriend, ‘boyfriend’?”

Deku’s eyes scan her face, noticeably shocked. Thankfully, he slowly smiles, lips curving up and making way to show her his teeth. The very sight melts her heart. How boyish he looks and how her words suddenly turn the tables and make him make that smile so genuine. They are just pretending. They are just dreaming.

Yet his smile tells her how it feels so real for him.

Gingerly, he leans against her touch and places a hand on hers. It sure feels real with the way they are holding each other and looking into each other’s eyes.

“I get your point, Uraraka-san…”

“Aww… my boyfriend’s finally smiling,” she says and he starts laughing against her. It sounds so precious and she wants to hear more of it. Though they have been laughing for how many hours, she just cannot get tired of it.

“It’s my… girlfriend’s fault,” he says, in between his laughter.

She laughs too and she slowly leans her forehead against his. “So, when are we gonna go on first-name basis? We’ve been dating for how many months…?”

“That hurts… I can’t believe you forgot we’ve been dating for two years.”

Ochako laughs again. “I lost count because I’m just happy. But don’t change the subject.”

Deku slowly backs away and he pulls her hand away from his cheeks but continues to hold it. Both of his hands carefully hold onto hers, his thumbs running over her knuckles.

“Then… may I call you Ochako?”

She sighs happily upon hearing her name roll off his lips. She did not think it would sound so pleasant. This pleasant. She feels giddy all over as a smile forces it out of her mouth before she even decides to show it to him. “Of course, Izuku.”

Then he suddenly jerks and bows down.

“Wha-What’s wrong?!” Was it a wrong move to return the favor?

“So-Sorry… I just… I’m just happy. So happy…!”

Ochako can only see his hair and she bows a bit to see his face but he is pretty good at hiding it. “De—I-Izuku…?”

Slowly, he looks at her, his eyes peeking at her shyly, while his face looks so red. Really red. Subconsciously, she adapts the same color as she feels her cheeks go warm again. Or warmer.

“No-No one has called me that aside from my Mom…”

She tries to smile despite feeling embarrassed as she focuses on the happiness he is exuding. “Then I’ll call you that no matter how many times you want!”

“That’s…” He starts waving his hands in front of him. “You-You don’t have to…”

“Izuku!” She smiles again and he starts looking away. He even lifts his free hand. Is it to block his face from her vision? Or to block hers in his?

“Hey, look at me, Izuku!”

Deku tries to escape but she holds his hand firmly and stops him. “Izuku!”

“Sto-Stop…!”

He is so embarrassed but she is not stopping. No way. She tries to pull him but he is strong too so she just refuses to let go. “No, you have to look at me… I-zu-ku!”

“Uraraka-san…!”

“You’re dropping my first name already, Izuku?”

He starts whining and she laughs at that. They look like a bunch of idiots with the way he is trying to escape her grip. He is already standing on the floor while she is still seated on the couch, hands firmly holding his. She could tell he is not using his full strength though.

If he isn’t taking me seriously…

“Sorry, Izuku!” she says then lightly kicks his knee then pulls him swiftly while he yelps.

Thank you, Gunhead Martial Arts!

“Victory!” she yells, laughing like a child winning her first-ever game, only to realize that Deku is on top of her, his arms trying to support him to not crash on her. Their faces are so close, noses almost touching yet none of them chooses to move.

For a moment, she feels like time has stopped. She can feel his warm breath on her lips while their eyes continue to lock onto each other. Ochako almost sees her reflection on his green orbs. Without even any effort from him, she is taken in by him again.

“Uraraka-san…?” As he says her name, she feels his breathing again on her lips.

“Yes…?” She tries to keep her voice low, too conscious if her breath also reaches his skin.

They stare into each other for a while.

Then he speaks.

“Can-Can I…?”

She feels a pounding in her chest. It is not supposed to be translated into words. It is not a language her brain could interpret. Oddly, it tells her one thing.

She breathes. “Yes.”

Ochako slowly lets her lids fall while the gradual blurring of her vision also paints Deku’s closing eyes. She feels him coming closer, their warmth breaths exchanging, the constricted space between them closing.

And she feels it. Something warmer than her blushing cheeks. Something warmer than her blood pumping. Something warmer than their hands that were clasped together earlier.

His lips.

The softness of his mouth makes her feel like none of this is real. How it is pushed against hers. How she can feel his breath escaping his nose and trailing on her skin. How it starts as an awkward pressing, but now they are just relaxed to have their lips locked as if they were made to kiss each other. How his hands find her face and pull her closer to him. How her hands are around his neck also pulling him possibly closer.

How his kiss makes her feel like she is floating with the clouds... when his weight is gently crushing her down on the sofa.

She never thought of this happening ever.

Ochako feels him pull away and slightly get up but her hands remain around him while his thumbs caress her cheeks.

Ochako opens her eyes and is welcomed by his face again. He only looks at her and she does too. For a brief moment, her eyes fall on his lips again and she catches him doing the same.

“Deku-kun.”

“Yeah?” His face is so close that she could not only hear his response but feel it too.

She loosens her hands and grabs both of his freckled cheeks. Her right hand brushes his green locks that are pointed down. “This is real… right?”

He grabs that hand of her as he nods. “Yeah…”

Ochako feels her eyes water, her view of him growing blurry as her eyes betray her, releasing all of the things she has been trying to hide all this time. “I’m sorry.”

She could not take it anymore. “I’m so sorry…” she says again with her voice breaking down as tears continue to flush out of her eyes. She covers her face and feels her pathetic self shrink in front of him.

She cannot possibly contain all these feelings anymore. Everything is just cruel. So cruel that her heart is not sure if it can take more.

Deku hugs her as she quivers inside his arms.

“I’m sorry…” Her voice sounds so crushed right now and it mirrors how her heart is barely staying together to be whole.

“No, it’s okay…” he tells her as she refuses to show him her crying face.

“I’m really sorry…”

She feels him move away while his hands encircle her wrists.

“Ochako…” Hearing her name kind of calms her and she allows him to pull her hands away from her face. She sniffs.

“I’m sorry,” he tells her that while smiling and she cannot stop the urge to just cry again. Why is he apologizing? When it is she who started breaking down and destroying all these roles they are playing.

All this time, he has been trying to think of happy thoughts. He does not want anything bringing him down. Yet here she is, tampering all those efforts as all sorts of emotions get the better of her.

Everything is just so unfair. Why does Deku have to go through all these when he has the biggest heart that she knows?

But as she continues to bury herself, he leans down and kisses her wet eyelids. He takes time to press onto her right for more than a second, then to the left one. Deku proceeds on placing his forehead against hers as he rubs his nose to hers.

She finds herself stopping her crying at the foreign sensation. As she opens her eyes and feels the softness of his nose still rubbing against hers, she starts giggling as if her nose is ticklish. “Wha-What are you doing?”

He stops and pulls away. “You’re finally smiling. Mom used to do that when I cry,” he tells her.

“That’s cute,” she says, sniffing once more before flashing a smile. “I guess it works.”

“While this one,” he says then pauses for a bit. Ochako watches him as he brushes her fringe with his fingers. He then kisses her on the forehead. “—is what my Dad does when my Mom cries.”

Ochako giggles at that as she builds the courage to give him a quick peck on the lips. He is evidently caught off guard as he covers his blushing face. “Wha-What was that!?”

She starts laughing. “What?! It’s what my Mom does when my Dad is mad.” Her voice sounds shrouded because of the remnants of crying.

“Bu-But I’m not angry at you!” he says that while still covering his face.

“I know! But more importantly, stop hiding your face! We already kisse—” she stops herself as she realizes everything that they did. It is her turn to hide her face with her palms as she realizes all those.

She was too caught up by her emotions but now as everything plays like a flashback, she cannot help but just feel ashamed. Is this the right time to be happy at all? Does she even have the right to be happy right now?

“Ochako?”

“Ye-Yeah?”

“I’m really lucky…” he says with another smile that just melts her. "... to have you as my girlfriend."

She nods at him and tries to savor that sheepish smile of his.

Chapter Text

“Where do you wanna go for our first date?” Deku asks.

“I thought we’re dating for two years. You forgot we already went through three hundred seventy-five dates?” Ochako acts smug, attacking Deku’s inclination with numbers.

He chuckles. “Okay, I stand corrected. Where do you wanna go for our next date, our three hundred seventy-sixth one?” He seems to accept her challenge. She likes that.

“How about an amusement park?” She lights up. She has never been in one… or at least nothing vivid comes into her memories. Passes are kind of pricy.

“We just went there last time, Ochako.” She tries to hide her disappointment when he says that. As she is about to argue back because she will not let him trample on her will to imagine an amusement park scenario, he speaks again. “We’ve been there thirty-four times, all with the passes we won from lotteries in your favorite shop.”

He got her good. Just to rub salt to her wounds, he adds,

“Or did you forget?”

Ochako pouts at that and narrows her brown eyes at him. “Really, Izuku? You’re pulling that card now?”

“You did it first,” he claps back, having confidence he usually did not show.

Her pout melts to a narrow look before she fully closes her eyes and falls to a fit of uncontrollable giggles. He tries to keep his victory face on but he ends up laughing too, joining her.

Her head is leaning on his shoulder while their hands are intertwined (her thumb raised).) His head is also slightly leaning against hers. They are still staying on the couch, legs folded on the cushion, looking at nothing particularly interesting, maybe all the words they have blabbered if those can be read in the air.

How her mouth does not feel tired or how her throat does not feel dry is beyond her. But right now, she is just trying to enjoy the feeling of their skins brushing, the warmth they are sharing, and the way their voices wrap around each other, tickling one another.

Ochako’s laughter has always been weird in its own way. The happiness just bursts out of her mouth, as if she is splattering the happiness with a gross pssh . Deku does not seem to mind though, even if his is much milder than hers. Now that she thinks about it… she has not heard him laugh this much.

Is it because they are playing as a couple right now?

After all, being his girlfriend is fun.

It is just a word. It is just a title. But Ochako can understand how much power it holds.

Being his girlfriend would grant her the license to hold his hand like this and to keep their heads together like this.

Being his girlfriend would allow her to just pinch his nose whenever she wants, giving her the very image of him wrinkling his nose and blinking in surprise.

Being his girlfriend would supply her with his constant spoiling and protection.

While she and Deku are close as best friends, she realizes more the line that is crossed when romance is involved.

Without the title girlfriend , she cannot do all these.

She looks at him, blinking, just checking out his freckles.

She would playfully use pens to connect those dots on his face. She would draw on his skin when he loses a game they are playing. She would kiss those freckles just because she finds it cute. He would not immediately understand why she does it but she can at least enjoy that look of bewilderment in his face whenever she does it.

Her eyes then trace his jawline.

Ochako would memorize that curve while she can. She would keep it implanted in her memory because as time goes by, as they grow older, his face shape will change with age. His jaw would be more chiseled. His face would be manlier. So she wants to cherish the Deku right now.

She then looks at his eyebrows.

Really thin compared to hers. She would love to run her fingertips on it whenever it furrows as he descends to another fit of rambling. She would listen to him talk about anything and everything but she would always smooth out his forehead when he gets too deep into his word vomit.

Ochako eyes his green lump of hair.

She would definitely tousle it just for the sake of messing it up. She would laugh at how it would messily frame his face but she would love the feeling of fluff on her hands. She would love to brush it with her fingers, feel each strand against her palms. She would tie it to small braids or to random pigtails just to see how it would look on him. But most of all, she would like the scent of his shampoo and how it tickles her nostrils whenever he leans on her shoulder.

Her eyes then fall to their laced fingers. His hand filled with the scars of his heroism. Each mark on his skin tells a story.

She would take all the time in the world to plant a kiss over those scars. She has read fairytales where the prince kisses the princess’s hand, but they are not living in a fairytale and more than hands of flawless elegance, his rough heroic ones are more beautiful. She would hold his hand whenever she can, just loving the feeling of their palms rubbing to each other. How the very act of holding his hand connects her to his very core. And if given the chance, she would never want to let go.

“Ochako?”

She turns her head to him as his green round eyes welcome her. It makes her feel like mush. His eyes look so soft with concern.

“You okay?”

She nods. “Yeah… Why?”

“You just became silent all of a sudden.”

“I’m just thinking.”

“Of?”

“Izuku…” She rubs her cheek against his shoulder and snuggles closer, holding his hand tighter.

“I’m here.”

“I think I’m really selfish.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Being a hero was something I wanted because of my parents. But coming to UA made me remember a lot of things. For me, being a hero is not all about the benefits anymore… I learned to want—to feel the need to help others, to save others. Yet… right now, I want to forget all about that. Even just for today.”

Ochako sighs and wraps a hand on his arm. “Just today…”

She just wants this peace with him. She just wants to listen to his voice and be serenaded by his narrations. 

“Guess that makes the two of us?”

She peeks at him, lifting her head slightly.

“I… I’ve always dreamt of being a hero… All Might is just someone… so cool. That’s what I used to think. But as I grew older, he wasn’t just cool because he’s strong. It’s because he used his power to help everyone. That’s what made him cool. I wish I could be like that was what I thought.”

Deku lifts his left hand and looks at it with a certain longing she cannot describe.

“It wasn’t easy. Being strong meant a lot of things. It wasn’t just because he had super strength and super speed. Being strong meant something entirely different… and I still aspire to be like that.”

“You are, Deku-kun…” She is about to correct herself for dropping Izuku but he looks at her and says,

“Thanks, Uraraka-san.”

She can only watch him look at her with a pair of eyes that screamed genuine gratitude. That is what she loves about his eyes. It always speaks the truth. It bares his real strength. And she just keeps falling in love with him as she looks at those beautiful green eyes.

“And I’m telling you. Right now, I kinda… want to forget too.”

He squeezes her hand.

“Will you forget with me, Ochako?”

“Yes, Izuku,” she says with a smile.

And she knows that she will never forget this very moment.

Dipping into another trip with words and images is now as easy as breathing for Ochako.

Denying what is written and forgetting reality with someone is easier than doing it by herself after all.

Something is fascinating about dreaming with Deku. The realism has melted to pure fantasy of their imaginations looping around one another. Embarking on a quest to heal the ill king, being prophesied as the chosen one by the oracle, being the last two humans in a robot-governed Earth, and being the first two humans in a different planet – then Ochako realizes that she has never dreamed of anything else other than being a hero.

So being this princess that saves him from being framed for a crime, being a detective that accuses him of being a criminal, being a spy while they are part of the police, or even being two demons tasked to eat the evils of the world, all these together with Deku definitely lets her mind fly to different dimensions and realms. If not for him, she would probably never picture herself in various shoes and worlds.

The more they try to ignore the time that is passing, the more their imaginations go wild.

Of course, none of them acknowledges that explicitly.

“Ah, Ochako, I wanna try something different.”

“Ya sure have a lot of ideas. Okay, what is it?” she says, her tone merry.

“Close your eyes.”

“Eh?”

“Just close your eyes. It’s easier to imagine if you do that. I’ll narrate and you’ll just respond.”

Ochako hums to that. All this time, they have been exchanging ideas, expanding each other’s horizons. But this time, it is like he is taking the lead. It is like he is the one bringing her to another world. 

She allows her eyes to close, letting the darkness consume her. Instinctively, she grabs his right hand.

“Okay, ready?”

“Yep,” she says.

“It’s a beautiful sunny day…” he starts saying.

Ochako processes each word that comes out of his mouth. The sun has risen for a beautiful day. He says it is the most perfect day that is created and she wakes up to it with a huge smile on her face. She could almost hear the birds chirping outside, tweeting melodies. 

She would get up from her bed, would stretch her limbs, and would be welcomed by bubbles of happiness. Everything is so bright. A warm room. A cozy house. The rays of the sun welcoming her morning. Everything she could ever ask for perfection.

“Everyone showers you with congratulatory messages, your phone buzzing, and your parents hugging you.”

As she continues to listen to Deku’s words, the more she feeds her mind with happy scenes playing like a film. A sequence rolling to the sound of squeals, of laughter, of genuine greetings, and of sing-song voices. 

“You dance even without music, twirling around, feeling the wind as you spin.”

Ochako would wear a white dress, something she has not worn ever. A lacy dress that is cut for her figure with a fit bodice as smooth as silk, showing off her shoulders and back that extends to a bell-shaped skirt flowing elegantly past her feet. The white hem reaches the floor that she almost feels bad for such beautiful cloth to be laid to the ground.

Flowers are everywhere. White, pink, and red roses. The scent surrounds her, filling the room, the fumes entering her nostrils. It is like she is in a house made of roses. However, the walls slowly cascade with her movement. Every step her bare foot makes, the surrounding changes, but the flowers continue to be there to guide her. A long trail of roses laid just for her, inviting her to thread further.

She steps into a pair of crimson high heels. A pair she is not really used to, but in the image in her head, it complements her long white gown despite the great contrast in colors. She spins again, letting the cloth around her spin too as it hugs her legs and gently brush over her skin. Oddly, the shoes do not bring any kind of discomfort. It feels like she could fly anytime she decides to leap.

The girls in the class would greet her, with smiles adorning their glossy lips. They are wearing pink dresses that match all those pink rose petals scattered on the red carpet. Mina and Tsuyu, in particular, would place a rose crown on her head that fits perfectly. That is when she notices that her hair is done to have loose curls in the ends, a bit longer than how she always thought her hair length is.

Tooru would come closer and apply a plum color to her lips, like a floating blob of tint that would touch her lips. Yaomomo would dust some blush on her cheeks. While Kyouka would hand her a bouquet of roses.

The very scenario feels happy. It is something that has never happened, but it speaks some kind of familiarity in her. Everyone is just smiling, letting her take the middle path, making her the very center. The star of the show.

Her mom and dad would be there, all kinds of happiness etched on their faces too. Her mom would be wearing a pink dress too and her dad would be wearing a white and black suit. They would have tears in their eyes, but really warm smiles on their mouths that would make her tear ducts react.

Her parents would take her arm as they nod to her.

“And then, you walk onto the carpet, while I wait at the end of the aisle.”

Just like magic, his words materialize. It is not just a path of flowers anymore. It is now an altar. She is in the middle, walking to the perfect symphony of a violin and a piano, with Deku at the very end.

He is wearing a white suit that matches her dress. A pink rose on his chest. A dark-gray dress shirt and a white tie that is surprisingly done well. He would still wear his signature red shoes that stand out, and she would smile at that, understanding why her heels are red too. His hair is still a bit unruly, but his fringe is brushed up to show more of his face. Even from afar, she can spot the way he stares at her, watching every step she takes, and just waiting for her. A blush is on his cheeks and as she comes closer, with everyone’s eyes on her, she finally notices those tears tempting to fall down his cheeks.

An emotional man on his wedding day. The man she loves on their wedding day.

And she would find it contagious. She would start tearing up as she finally reaches the end, her parents setting her free of their grasp, as she accepts his hand reaching out to her with all her heart.

They would laugh at first, feeling like the nervous wrecks that they are, but they would still exchange smiles that are as warm as their embraces. She would feel how cold his hand is and she just hopes that holding on it would calm him down. But even if her hands are cold too, if it is against him, they can share their warmth.

Ochako would not feel the way her heart raises. All she would know is that she is finally being wedded to the man she loves. Time would pass without them knowing, the ceremony would continue just like they practiced for weeks. They would exchange “I dos” and the words would forever ring in her heart.

This is their wedding with all the people they love as witnesses to their union. But for her, it is an intimate ceremony that just underscores the beginning of the life they will share.

“I, Ochako, take you, Izuku, to be my wedded husband, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. I pledge myself to you. I’ll love you with all my heart. You can have all my mochi even those I’ll hide from you. I’ll make sure to make you happy everyday.”

The crowd would laugh and give their awes while Deku would laugh too, trying to suppress that already big smile that is betraying him.

“I, Izuku, take you, Ochako, to be my wedded wife, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. I pledge myself to you. I’ll do my best even if my best’s not enough to never make you cry. And if I do, I swear to cry with you and more than you.”

She would laugh at that, wiping the tears forming in her eyes.

“I’ll love you with all my heart. And I’ll respect you, more than All Might.”

Everyone would laugh again and she would be unable to contain it too. An ungraceful fit of laughter would leave her elegant figure, but he would only hold her hand and laugh with her.

They would exchange rings to symbolize their union. Each ring would slip perfectly to their fingers and she would look at it with pride.

The ceremony will near its end, the music will return, and—

“Then, the priest would say ‘You may kiss the bride.’”

Ochako opens her eyes, the warm light of the room bringing her back to reality. It stings a bit for she closed her eyes for quite a long time.

She looks to her left and she sees Deku who is smiling and his eyes looking teary just like when he was wearing a suit in her imagination.

“Deku-kun?”

He looks at her and he tries to stretch the smile to a bigger one, fighting the urge to let go of his emotions.

She feels a pang in her heart at clearly seeing his attempt.

“You may kiss the bride,” she repeats and closes her eyes.

She waits for his lips again.

And as he inches closer and seals their dream with a kiss, she starts begging.

Just for a little more.

Please.

Let us forget.

Chapter Text

She opens her eyes partly, letting the light in. It has grown fainter which removes her ability to see his face clearly, which is a shame. She allows a few seconds to try and make out his features, just to fill herself with his image. Just to burn into her memory how close his face is to hers and how she loves every inch of it. Because even with him right before her, she is missing him.

He parts his lips.

“Uraraka-san…” The way he says it feels like he is breathing her name. It feels intimate. How her name travels with the air that is coming from his lungs. It stirs something inside of her in return.

He comes close again and captures her lips before she can even close her eyes. The kiss feels much needier this time as if he is sucking away all the air in her but instead of regaining her breath, she only pulls him close, feeling the same need to just keep him in her arms and share this kiss.

Air bounces to his skin as it forcibly leaves her nose. The warmth of their breathing mixing touches her face as their lips continue to brush against each other.

Some seconds after, they pull away, slightly panting, finding each other’s eyes despite the darkening room. Their foreheads make contact and as if those kisses are not enough, it is her turn to push herself forward as she presses her lips against his once more

Ochako loses count on how many kisses they have exchanged. All she knows is that the softness of his lips feels good on hers as they close the distance between them.

It used to be a space that she never thought she could ever cross, but here in this room, she feels the closest to him. He is already in her heart but she would willingly let him invade it and make it his home.

Right now, Ochako just feels all the emotions pent up all these years be transmitted to her lips. She wonders if he could feel it in her kiss. How much she cares for him. How much she values his existence. How much she loves him.

Because she is so close to telling him the truth.

As they end another kiss, something clicks in them.

They look at each other for a few seconds, the half-lidded eyes snapping fully open. In a click, both of them suddenly get back a piece of their rationality.

“So-Sorry!” Their voices unite through an apology that even the stammered parts are in sync.

In contrast to all the closeness they shared, the two back away from one another like magnets repelling each other. And now, though they are still sharing the same couch, their backs are quite attracted to each other. All the close counters are gone with both of them seated at the polar opposites of the sofa, not facing one another.

It dawns on her.

They kissed not just once. But… she couldn’t even count!

She hides her face with her hands and she is positive that Deku is doing the same right behind her (while muttering some words she cannot quite catch). After their wedding kiss , as they let themselves fall to the spell of their eyes locking, something just spoke to the two of them to continue. Maybe they really are tied to that spell that binds them to give in.

Except that no magic in reality exists to cast it upon them.

But now that their heads are as clear as those crystals they have mined in their dreams, they recognized how much reality has mended with all their imagination and they just got carried away.

At least that is how she views it right now.

Looking at the two of them, they are back to the blushing and awkward teenagers that they are. And both of them are stuck wondering.

Did all those even happen?

Ochako tries to get rid of all those scenarios they have played together and the only thing that keeps playing is the reality of the two of them on this couch, limbs tangling and lips kissing.

The silence does not boggle her because it does not exist when her heart is beating so loud, each beat vibrating to her ears, resonating with the tension in her body. She holds onto her chest, hand scrunching her shirt; her pulse joining the racing beat, just emphasizing how much her heart is swelling and how it is about to burst.

Something washes over her. It is not embarrassment. It is not denial. It is not joy. Something entirely different.

It is an urge. A push. A sign.

After everything, there is still something that she has not done. Something that has been hanging dangerously in her mouth.

Ochako peeks over her shoulder and before she could even think of what she is about to say, she already calls his name.

He does not really say anything but his attention is on her now. She could trace the details of his face, how his bottom lip is hanging, how his freckled cheeks are flushed, and how his eyes are reading her and waiting for her to talk.

She feels the words at the tip of her tongue, hanging by a thread, ready to be released, ready to fall. The very thing that has been hiding inside her all this time. The very emotion that she has been trying to encase and protect.

“Deku-kun,” she calls again, turning to face him more. “I…” She pauses, trying her best to say it. “I…!” she kneels on the couch, fists forming and eyes seeking his face.

“Deku-kun, all this time, I’ve l—"

A knock fills the room which gets their heads turning and her mouth freezing.

The bubble of delusion protecting them collapses that instant. Ochako realizes that they are not the only two people in the world anymore. Reality creeps into her. The illusion of time stopping for them shatters. Everything starts moving again.

The pieces of them that she is trying to gather all break in her hold.

She notices how dark the room actually is and how the sun must be set already. How dry her throat is. How chilly it actually feels.

Ochako holds onto her neck while her other hand starts rubbing her arm.

All it took was a knock to wake her up and crash their la la land.

Deku immediately stands up, steps into his red sneakers, and goes to the door. He turns on the light switch as he approaches the door.

Meanwhile, Ochako still tries to process her thoughts. Everything around her spins as she gets hit again with the incoming future. The light makes her eyes wince. It crushes all her dreams. It makes all their images vanish.

Before she could see and hear whoever is behind the door, Deku already exits the room and closes the door behind him. He did it gently but once he left the room, the sound of the door closing comes like a bomb dropping at her.

The dead silence is here again. Deku is not with her. The clock is ticking again. She is alone.

She wears her sandals and starts walking around the room. Ochako tries to pace her steps carefully, trying to get rid of her thoughts every time her sole touches the carpet. She hopes that walking back and forth will free her and will let her thoughts fly away. She hopes that the movement will keep her warm again.

But to no avail, the attempt fails when she just feels weight loading on her shoulders, trying to crush her down and send her falling into the depths of the unknown.

Ochako’s chest feels heavier every second of the quiet. She holds onto it again and hopes that her Quirk could lift it and make it float despite knowing that that is impossible.

She hears her own voice inside her mind. The words that are unspoken.

I love you.

Immediately, she presses her fingers to her lips and fights the tears that are threatening to fall again. She does not want to cry anymore. She does not want to feel that sting in her eyes and that prick in her heart anymore. But as her heart beats and the clock ticks, it all starts to move again. She is being pulled to the inevitable.

I love you so much.

Ochako slides to the ground and hugs her knees. She covers her mouth with her palm and hopes that it is enough to block the weeps out of her mouth. Her breathing becomes heavy but the tears continue to spill and roll over her face then her fingers. But she just keeps herself together, hugs herself, tightly keeps everything compact. She cannot let it all explode.

Not yet.

I can’t yet… I’ve gone this far… 

She holds still, ignoring the spasms that are trying to break free out of her body.

Please…

She begs herself.

It takes a while but once again she succeeds.

Focusing on her breathing and calming down, the tears finally dry up but her eyes still feel thick with every blink. She really would not be surprised if she sees herself in the mirror with puffy pinkish eyelids and eyebags. The whole layer of the sticky tear stains do not really make her feel better too.

A sigh comes out of her lips as she flushes out all the pressure and heightened emotions. The weight is off her shoulders but it feels like her core is being dragged to the floor with every movement. She feels like a wreck. She wonders how she can do all these. How she can endure the repeated stabbing and mending of her already broken heart. How she can get through the twisting and knotting of her insides.

She chuckles in a melancholic tone. Like a sigh following a taunting tone of sarcasm.

It really is funny.

Of course, she can do all these for Deku.

All for Deku, right?

But that is not entirely true. She is also doing this for herself. Because just the very thought of Deku’s features meeting guilt because of her would end her.

Not satisfied, Ochako slaps both of her cheeks which brings back the signature rosiness of her skin and she lets her teeth show as an attempt of smiling. She slaps her cheeks once more. It better look pinker than her swollen eyes.

More prepared to face everything again, she stands up, dusts her skirt, and keeps the forced smile pasted on her lips.

She can do this.

“—nything else you need?” The unfamiliar voice of a man enters her ears. She realizes that she is near the door and the conversation can be deciphered if she just listens carefully.

Ochako does not have the audacity to press her ear on the surface to eavesdrop, nor the courage to discover everything behind the door. But she still finds herself trying to process the voices.

“This should do. Thank you very much.” That is Deku speaking.

“Midoriya-san?”

“…Yes?”

“Are you really sure about this? The doctor—”

“I’m… sure.” 

“Midoriya-san…” The man sounds like he is losing hope with his plea.

“I know that it will take years for me to wake again.”

Ochako feels rooted on the spot as Deku’s words feel like nonsense all of a sudden. Years…? Didn’t they say it’d only be months to a year? The time frame is not determined. So how come Deku sounds like he knows…

Of course… Deku knows very well what he is signing up for. He always did. She knows that. Why is she only hearing all these now?

“But… I can’t endanger everyone. I can’t let the villains get a hold of this Quirk. I have to do this. It’s the only way to protect it.”

Endanger? What danger? Villains? Quirk? His Quirk…?

More questions enter her system, weighing down her thoughts, tugging on nothing else but confusion. Isn’t the operation for his body? What’re they talking about? What is Deku talking about!?

“Okay... you really are a hero.” The man sounds defeated. “I will come back in forty-five minutes.”

“Uhmm… about that… Do you think you can come back when it’s time? I… I wanna treasure the remaining hour.”

She feels her heart sink.

They only have…

“…an hour...” She gasps. It sounds like a curse coming out of her mouth. Taboo words written on stone but must never be spoken. Because dread crawls under her skin.

She only has an hour with him.

The man hums before agreeing. “I understand. The next knock means that time’s up.”

“Thank you.”

A few seconds pass and the door opens. If not for Ochako hearing Deku’s soft sigh before closing the door, she probably would be unable to talk.

“Deku-kun…” She looks down on the brown carpet.

“Uraraka-san! Here, I got some water and a blanket. You’re probably thirsty and cold. Unfortunately, I can’t take fluids before the operation.” He sounds like usual. Happy. Content. Caring.

She does not respond.

“But don’t worry! I can still talk a lot. It’s not a bother, I promise.”

He is trying to bury the conversation that just ended.

Ochako is not even looking at him but she can already imagine the smile he is wearing. Can she even bear to look at him? It is the smile that has always saved her. But...

He is already in the room. His presence is here right by her. So how come she is still not feeling any better?

“What’s happening?”

“Oh, nothing much it—”

“It’s not nothing much , Deku-kun!” The way she says it is almost identical to her heart’s scream. But she cannot mind her tone and volume right now.

Ochako has tried hard. So hard to contain it all. But all these… She can’t help it anymore.

“There’s something you’re not telling me!”

She finally looks at him and he only looks at her solemnly.

“Deku-kun!” Her voice breaks with force.

For the first time, he frowns, dropping that smile of his. She could almost see his bottom lip tremble as he bites it.

Deku steps toward the couch and settles the water bottle and the white blanket on it. He holds onto the couch’s edge maybe to keep himself steady. Because just like her, he is already unstable.

His lips remain sealed for a while and she almost wants to yell at him to get her answers. All these answers that she badly needed.

But he starts speaking again.

“It’s… It’s something I can’t tell you.”

Ochako stomps on the ground, not giving any care. She throws her hand away. She wishes she could throw her heart away too. To get rid of all these emotions. To let go of her anger. To let go of her pain. To let go of everything.

“This is so unfair! Your life's on the line, Deku-kun! You can’t expect me to—” she stops when he looks at her, tears swelling in his green eyes. Those green eyes that are much more beautiful than any pair of real emeralds. Those eyes of his that she loved. So much.

“Uraraka-san… I beg you. I can’t tell you.”

His voice sounds so broken. Through all these hours they spent… This is the most fragile sound she has ever heard from him.

Her emotions start to subside. Without warning, it is the lack of intensity in his voice that screams louder than her earlier outbursts.

“I can’t… risk other’s lives. It’s something only I can do… so please…”

Deku wipes his face with his scarred arm and those permanent marks only remind her of how much of a hero he is..

She is at loss for words. All the feelings of betrayal and confusion evaporate. It feels like she has no right to feel all these because as she looks at him, he is the one who is suffering the most.

Ochako does not even know what is happening exactly except for the fact that Deku is trying to be the hero that he is. She hates it. She absolutely hates it.

She despises this so much. She can feel her blood boil. She can feel her hands shake. She can feel her knuckles puncture her skin to tear it open.

Deku is not the only hero in the world. All of them are training to be one. So why? Why is he the only one who has to suffer? Why is it that he has to take everything upon his shoulders?

What are their roles in the larger picture?

Are they so useless that they can’t help him?

She has a lot more questions. But it all melts down to one.

Why does it have to be Deku-kun?

Her vision almost goes red. She wants to slam the door open. She wants to question the higher-ups, whoever the hell is responsible for all these. She wants to run and just look for whoever allowed all these to happen. She wants to hunt those villains. She wants to dive deep. She wants to know. She wants to know what she can do.

She wants to know anything that she can do.

Ochako hates everything that is happening. But as she looks at him, her eyes can only soften and surrender. 

She can never hate his decisions.

Ochako can never hate him.

“I’m sorry…” she says.

She looks down, feeling shame. It is like she cannot reach him at all. No matter how close they are, she can never reach him. She cannot be with him in this hardship. She cannot do anything else for him.

“Uraraka-san… it’s me who should be sorry.”

That makes her eyes try to search for his green ones while she is leaning down. Her fringe frames his face from her vision. But even without it, nothing else would matter anyway if it is not him.

“I… Apart from not giving you any answers… I’m also really selfish for asking you to accompany me today. I even forced you to think happy thoughts with me.”

She wants to dispute all his claims. She wants to tell him that more than anyone, she would willingly do it for him. That he is not selfish. That she is grateful that he even asked her to be with him. But she cannot find herself speaking at that moment.

“I thought all those parties with everyone… all those bonding we had were enough. Everyone’s so kind. I received so many gifts. We all had so much fun. You guys were the friends I never thought I’d ever have. It’s definitely some of my best days. I was planning to spend this week with my family. My Dad even came home. My parents made sure to make me happy too. But as each day passed…”

“I only thought of you.”

He abandons staring at the ground and he tells her that by looking at her to stress his feelings. To let her know. To hopefully make her understand.

“I wanted to be with you, Uraraka-san. I’m sorry.”

Ochako takes a deep breath. She wants to engulf his words. She wants to make those words a part of her being.

She exhales as she bows. “No, I’m really sorry, Deku-kun.”

She straightens up as she glues together her resolve. She runs to him, closing the small distance between them, grabs both of his hands and places both of his palms against her cheeks. She holds onto his hands and presses it with her fingers.

“I’m here,” she says smiling, before adding. “I’m with you.”

What is she saying that she cannot reach him?

He did all these to reach out to her. And god… does she even know how much it took him to ask her? The Deku who rarely asks for help. He asked her specifically. Her, of anyone else, to be with him. Just before he has to sleep.

Deku smiles at her and she feels warmth from it.

No matter how much it hurts.

She will stay strong for him. For their remaining minutes together.

She won’t fall.

No matter what.

“What’s next?” she asks him.

Chapter Text

They are back on the couch, which makes it like their nest. It is small but this lack of space is more than enough for both of them to feel what real comfort meant. It keeps them close. As if nothing can ever come between them.

Ochako feels like as long as they stay in it, everything would be fine. Like nothing can harm them. Like how blankets protect kids from the monsters under their bed. Like how stuffed toys defend children from the horrors in their nightmares.

Of course, that is another delusion she is trying to feed herself as their time continues to run out. She knows that but it is the only thing that she can do right now. Since they have been playing house all this time anyway. It might be best to just roll along with it. Until the end.

Let herself fall to this silliness. Until the end.

Pretend that everything is okay. Until the end.

Deku is only looking at her though while her head treats his left arm as a pillow. He has wrapped the white blanket around her shoulders while his right hand runs through her hair. He pinches on her nose playfully with two of his fingers as he chuckles when she scrunches her face at the surprise. As if she drank vinegar, her lips purse and pull her skin like a sinking hole.

“I’m waiting you know,” she says after he lets go, letting a pout touch her lips.

For the last time. Can the happy thoughts save them even for a little bit?

“I’m thinking about it…”

“So… what’s holding you back?” She reaches out to his face and pinches his nose too as a return for the earlier gesture.

“It might be weird,” he says it, his voice changing because of his clogged nose.

She giggles at both the sound of his voice and what he just said. She releases his nose while smiling at him. Since he is leaning forward, his shadow casts at her face, shielding her sight from the blinding light of the room. It is very thoughtful of him.

“We’ve been imagining all things weird for hours. There’s no way there’s something weirder than all of that,” she says it to encourage him to just spill it. Maybe it is her way to ignore the sands of time that continues to escape through the gaps of her hands no matter how tightly she holds it.

“You-You actually thought the wedding was… weird?” he says that with wide unbelieving eyes and she immediately gets up from her comfortable position.

Her face heats up and she debates with herself if it is worth to defend. But— “It wasn’t weird… definitely not!”

—yeah, it is definitely worth it. Her fists are clenched by her chest. She does not even realize how badly she wants him to know that. She smiles to assure him of her view.

Deku scratches his head. “Uhm… if that’s what you think. Okay,” he says. “There’s one thing that just… makes me happy.” His voice sounds coy after the hesitance.

True to his words though, a smile that looks too big for his face is already present. She wonders what else would make him so happy that he would love to share with her. That his facial muscles could not even contain.

Ochako can only think of him being the greatest hero as the best scenario that can possibly make him wear such a wonderful smile. In her mind, she already prepares things to tell him to enhance their scenarios.

Like how toys designed after him would work. Green lighting effects as his Full Cowl? His signature "SMAAASH" playing when a button is pressed?

Or how children would love him and aspire to be him. They would chant his name, tiny fists raised every time he saves the day.

His face would be everywhere. Banners. Billboards. Television screens. Smartphones.

But if she has a favorite concept in her brain right now? It is how she would remember his smile when she sees the people’s faces as they admire him.

She almost tears up at the thought of him being at the peak of his dreams like that.

And then Deku surprises her with one little question.

“How many babies do you want?”

“E-Eh?”

Deku’s face immediately distorts to pure embarrassment at her (expected reaction) but before she could even process that, he grabs on the blanket around her and places it on her head, just enough to cover her face. “He-Hey!”

“I-I knew it’s weird!”

Ochako swiftly pulls the blanket, having the same bewildered and blushing appearance as his. Her hair is disheveled, strands falling sloppily on her face (and pointing to all directions she could not see). “Wa-Wait…!”

Deku peeks at her with his eyes sliding to his right but his body not fully turning towards her. His ears are so red.

“I-I was just… caught off guard…” she admits and her volume is really soft that she wonders if he even heard her.

“Ye-Yeah, I understand…” He dips his head low and sighs.

“But uhm… you’re asking because…?”

The corner of his lip twitches and she swears that it is one of the cutest things he has shown. His eyes go bright while this smile refuses to leave his face. He turns more bashful, his hands not knowing where to be placed, but his raw joy betrays his attempt to not look so happy. “I’m an only child… so I thought it’s nice to have… kids.”

Deku says it like a confession of the things he is most regretful of feeling and she immediately consoles him. “That’s valid, Deku-kun. You don’t have to feel embarrassed about it.”

“I-I know… but… we’re married …” He does not continue. He stops at that but she does not even need to hear his explanation about it. Because the message is clear. As realization hits her and as she starts to feel her face burning once again, her mouth parts to an “Oh.”

Deku holds out his hand, his palm waiting for hers.

“So I’m asking you…" His face is still flushed. His eyebrows are slightly meeting. He is probably trying to fight the blush on his face that is clearly not going away.

"For the last time, will you dream with me?”

He did not need to ask.

She places her hand on his.

A married life with Deku is probably a dream she could never think of so freely.

It is just hard to process. How the person who saved her, the person who became her best friend, the person she has a tiny crush on, and the person she grew to love turning into a person she would spend an eternity with. After all, Ochako is not the best when it comes to her feelings. It took her a great amount of time to settle the wild throbbing in her heart. It took her a while to look at his face and speak to him without stammering. It took her a while to be 'normal' around him. There were stages that she had to go through to understand this feeling inside her more.

With pride, she is happy to know that she had turned it into her power to do her best with everything that she faces.

But a married life means sharing her life with him. Would he even want to share his with hers for eternity?

That is why she had many questions and many doubts about this particular dream .

In fact, the ceremony was easier to imagine. It is a once in a lifetime event. An exchange of I dos. And Deku guided her. But this? This, that he just asked for? It is something that happens right after the merriness of that fated day. Something unimaginable for her.

But in this dream, the perfect life exists, with Deku as her husband and the father of their children. Those doubts had no space to infiltrate their happiness. Those questions are not welcome in this place at all.

In this scenario, they are living the best days of their lives. Everyday. Together.

Deku would spill so many tears with the babies’ cries echoing in the hospital room when they get born into the world. Ochako and the nurse would smile at the sight of a father crying louder than his babies. Deku would cry to the sight of his wife and kids' safety after labor.

At first, the new parents would find fear in touching the small and fragile bodies of their first-borns. But then, the twin girls' really tiny hands would reach out to the air which will be met by Deku and Ochako’s fingers. The contact would immediately send waves to their hearts.

As the babies open their eyes, the lovely emerald orbs would greet their loving parents. Despite the green dominance in their features, when they smile to their father’s bawling face, they would look like Ochako in her youngest years. Their smiles would be bright and heavenly, not having a care in this world. They would not need pairs of feathery white wings just to pass as an angel. They would bring the light into Deku and Ochako’s shared lives without even trying.

One of the twins would have faint freckles peppered over her cute cheeks just like Deku and she would be named Koko. While the younger one by a few seconds would be born with naturally flushed and chubby cheeks. She would be named Reiko. Both of them would have teal-colored hair, matching their eyes and their father's.

Months would pass and Deku and Ochako would understand the struggles of being parents. The sleepless nights when the babies cry. The hopelessness when nothing can make them stop.  The pain in their hearts knowing that something is upsetting and hurting their children. The inexperienced hands of pro-heroes in styling green locks of hair, changing diapers, and feeding small mouths.

But all of that would be all worth it when Koko and Reiko would give them their sweetest laughter and first words. Their "Mama" and "Papa" would be enough to heal all the ache in their bodies after a long day of rescue and patrol. It would be enough to ease all the tension built up in them after seeing how dangerous the world is. It would be enough to sway their hearts to keep on going.

The couple would shower all love, care, and protection to the twins for three years. Then another gem would be added to their family. A baby boy with a pair of green eyes too just like his sisters. His hair would be brown just like his mom’s but would be curly just like his dad’s. He would be named Jiku.

Ochako would often complain and jokingly tell Deku that their children all got his green eyes. How none of them even got hers would be 'frustrating.' But she would immediately say—

“I’m kidding… I really love your eyes, Izuku. Seeing them bear the same loving eyes as yours… I couldn’t be happier.”

Deku would tear up to that and would say, “I actually really like your eyes, Ochako…”

Ochako would smile, would squeeze his cheeks to look at her. “You can always look at mine, right?”

He would smile back, chuckling cutely, but he would ruin the moment by saying, “Or we could make more ‘til we get the browns?” She would pulverize him with jabs and he would beg her to stop.

Koko would start laughing at them with a finger pointing, Reiko would look concerned with a question mark popping, and their baby boy would start crying. So Ochako would stop and would tend to him with Deku following, hugging her with their baby in her arms.

The twins would run to them, fronts bumping to Deku’s knees and he would carry both of them in his arms. They would raise their hands in the air as if they are flying.

Then Ochako would use her Quirk on them, making them live their dreams of swimming in the air. Of course, she would not do that without letting them wear helmets to protect their soft heads that she always loves to kiss.

Deku would be on standby, making sure none of them would hurt themselves. He would mutter how much injuries hurt and how wounds are scary monsters that stay on the skin.

Ochako would laugh along with Jiku who shares his very first giggle, actually finding the stories fascinating rather than terrifying. The girls would laugh too and would just hug their father; one twin on each bicep.

They would be the perfect picture of a family. Only laughter. Only happiness. Only love.

Nothing in the world could ever hurt them.

“You’d be… a wonderful mother, Uraraka-san.”

Ochako looks at his smiling face that she would look at forever if given the chance. She allows her fingers to trace his lips, imprinting it both to her memory and to her sense of touch. “I’m sure… you’d be the greatest father, Deku-kun.”

He looks into her eyes, stroking her cheek. “Thank you.”

“… and the greatest husband," she continues.

"Thank you."

"And hero…” she adds. Each word comes out so slow as if she did not want to let it go. As if she wanted to protect those words too.

Deku’s thumb slides to her eyes that are moist with the tears forming. Before the tears start to cloud her vision of him, she closes her eyes as she allows him to use his fingers to dry her tears once more. He leaves a kiss on her eyelids again, getting his lips wet in the process too.

When she opens her eyes to meet his face once more, the smile is still there. And the smile is still for her.

“Thank you, Uraraka-san…”

She stops herself from breaking down from those words. It sounds so soft in her ears but it rings so loud inside her.

“For doing this with me…” he adds and she catches her breath.

Not yet, Ochako. You can’t.

Ochako nods to him.

“Thank you,” he repeats like a mantra. “For everything,” he continues, his hand still on her cheek.

She nods again, smiling, but she can feel her lips trembling, about to give up from curling up.

Deku kisses her eyelids again, the tears spilling further as her efforts fail to contain all of it. “Sorry… I must be sleepy.” Her voice sounds shaky as she forces a yawn out of her mouth.

He only hums and kisses her eyes once more as the tears continue to flow. She sniffs hoping that doing so would suck those tears back.

She can’t.

Ochako continues to tremble. It is not just her lips anymore. Her hands are all cold and clammy. Her chest is quivering to the rapid beating of her heart. Her shoulders are shaking, unable to take all this weight anymore.

She can’t fall.

Deku pulls her for another embrace. He buries his nose on the crown of her head and she feels his breathing on top of her. His strong arms secure her. His broad shoulder is there to scoop her crying face. But she refuses to fall onto him.

She does not allow him to carry her weight. Instead, she maintains the remaining strength in her and just pulls him towards her.

She can’t fall until the end.

Ochako feels him tighten his hug and she does the same.

Without looking at the hands of the clock, Ochako knows what is coming.

Time is not running out but running after them.

The dreaming has to stop.

Reality is here.

“See you…” he whispers to her ear that runs shivers all over her.

Before she could even respond, a knock on the door echoes inside the room.

Deku’s tight hold on her loosens. He peels her away from him, putting his hands on her shoulders and pushing her slightly. It is still gentle. It is still very him. She loses the strength to hold on. Her hands fall.

She remains stuck.

He stands up and walks to the door to face his future.

She remains seated on the couch that witnessed all their what ifs and could have beens.

Without looking back at her, he opens the door and leaves the room.

Without looking at him, she is frozen, tear-stained. 

Deku leaves her.

The door’s click fills the room.

Deku has left.

Ochako looks at her hands. She is not holding him anymore.

Her shaking intensifies.

She runs her hands to her arms.

Her shaking starts to become more violent, each second passing that she realizes that he is not here anymore.

She stands up and realizes that she really is alone in the room.

The same greens and browns that look perfect together. The same floral wallpapers. The same hanging cobwebs. The same dusty carpet. 

But Deku is not here anymore.

The silence is back.

It is killing her again.

So she starts screaming.

She lets out all those tears she has been suppressing.

Ochako cries to her heart’s desire.

No matter how many times she wipes the hot tears leaving her eyes, it continues to overflow.

Her cries mix with her screams.

Her throat runs dry.

But she does not stop.

Her screams pierce the air.

But she continues to weep.

She tries to fill the silence of the room with her cries.

But it hurts too much.

It hurts.

So much.

Especially when she realizes.

That he was not smiling for her. That last smile of his...

He was finally smiling at her.

See you in my dreams…