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Kageyama was born without soulmarks.
Everyone had one, and a majority had even more than that. They were a sign of your connections with the people around you. They came in all different shapes and sizes and colors, but when you found one that matched with someone else, it meant that you were fated to be in each other’s lives. And not just for romantic relationships, but in other ways too: life-long friends or family or coworkers for a big project. Soulmarks were a physical manifestation of what would become your most important relationships; those that you could count on the most. They were representations of who would become your most important people.
And, yet. Kageyama didn’t bear a single mark.
It wasn’t until Kitagawa Daiichi that Kageyama realized how big of a deal soulmarks (or the lack thereof) were. In elementary school, it was all fun and games— just children running around the schoolyard trying to find their matches. It didn’t mean anything because none of them were old enough to fully understand what it meant to find your soulmate.
In middle school, though, it seemed like soulmarks had suddenly become the most important thing in the entire world. Soulmarks had become an indicator of worth, and a way to gatekeep your own relationships.
Oikawa seemed to relish in the number of soulmarks that he had compared to Kageyama’s zero. They were all over his forearms, creating an chaotic artwork of different shapes and colors. Iwaizumi had fewer, but still a plentiful amount; always tracing along the edges of a crown on the back of his right hand whenever he saw Oikawa flirting with someone.
While Kageyama had made friends with Kindaichi and Kunimi, he always felt a bit left out. They shared a laurel of leaves on their ankles that would peek above their socks during practice. By now, almost everyone on the team knew what it felt like to find at least one of their soulmates.
It was only Kageyama that was entirely alone.
When he started at Karasuno, Kageyama always tried to arrive early to practice and be the last one to leave. He didn’t want to be faced with the others’ soulmarks while changing into practice clothes, nor did he want to be confronted by his lack of marks.
It was only a month into the school year, and Kageyama had already identified the four sets of soulmates on the Karasuno team: the third years each had a banner with a kanji phrase on their upper forearms, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had a navy-blue constellation on their right shoulders, and Tanaka and Noya had a geometric pattern wrapped around their wrists, while the other second years each had a small flag imprinted on their ankles.
Meanwhile, Hinata was absolutely covered in soulmarks, maybe even more than Oikawa had. He was always looking for a match, eyes scanning others’ soulmarks with joyous enthusiasm, but he still hadn’t found a match with anyone on the team.
Until today.
It happened in the clubroom, after a long practice for Interhigh. Tanaka was waving his shirt around, in his usual bombastic fashion, when Hinata shouted. “Wait! Is that a firework on your back?”
Tanaka spun around trying to see his back, eventually coming to a stop in front of the clubroom mirror. Hinata rushed over, bouncing on the balls of his feet, with his shirt off by the time that he came to a stop. The two marks were identical.
The two of them started a complicated high-five routine, that Kageyama didn’t understand, and he looked away from the newly christened soulmates. He threw his stuff into his bag, not caring enough to fold it neatly. Slipping on his shoes, he left the clubroom, slamming the door a bit harder than necessary.
He pulled his bag higher up on his shoulder, wanting to get home as soon as possible. Everyone on the Karasuno team was connected to each other, except himself. He could never be connected to any of them.
“Hey! Wait up—” he felt a hand wrap around his forearm, spinning him around. “You left in a hurry.” Suga was smiling at him, looking a bit concerned. “I just wanted to check if you were alright?”
“I’m fine,” he shook his head. “Just needed to get away from Hinata and Tanaka and all of their screaming.”
“Yeah.” He smiled softly at Kageyama. “It’s always exciting to find one of your matches.” Suga let go of his arm in order to rub the top of his arm, where Kageyama knew that the banner soulmark was covered by his shirt.
“I’m glad that Hinata found one of the matches to his dozens of soulmarks,” he replied rolling his eyes. “Maybe the dumbass will stop talking about it now.” His reply was met by a piercing stare, where it felt like Suga was staring straight into his soul.
“Look, Kageyama, if you’re worried about your place at Karasuno, I want you to know that it doesn’t matter what your soulmarks are.” Suga placed a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing. “You’re here because you’re amazing at volleyball. Someday, you’ll realize that soulmarks don’t matter as much as you think they do. It’s okay if they don’t match anyone on the team.”
The real problem, though, was that Kageyama didn’t have any soulmarks to begin with. He didn’t match anyone on Karasuno because he didn’t match anyone at all.
It wasn’t until the Tokyo training camp that Kageyama started to believe that Suga might have been telling the truth.
On the fourth day, he caught a glimpse of Kenma’s soulmark in the changing room. Out of the corner of his eye, there was a splotch of color on Kenma’s chest. His shirt was on before Kageyama could discern what shape it was.
Soulmarks could manifest in any shape or size or place on a person’s body, but one over the heart was always a sign of a romantic bond.
“It’s Akaashi,” Kenma remarked, like he was commenting on the weather instead of revealing his soulmate.
“What?” Kageyama looked around the empty room. They were the only two there, so Kenma had to be talking to him.
“You’ve been looking at people’s soulmarks all week,” he nodded, keen eyes observing Kageyama. “The one on my chest is for Akaashi.”
“But, you two—” Kageyama frowned, trying to think about the interactions between the two setters over the last few days. They were friendly towards each other, but nothing indicated they were anything more. “Does he know?”
“We found out at camp last year,” Kenma shrugged. “We mutually decided not to pursue it.”
“But,” he frowned. “You’re soulmates. ”
“No.” He shook his head, looking down. “We’re friends. And, maybe, we won’t always stay that way, but right now, neither of us want to start dating each other just because some marks over our hearts say we should.”
“Uh...” he trailed off, trying to absorb all the information. It was the most that Kenma had ever said to Kageyama at once.
“I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with soulmarks,” Kenma said. “But, personally, I want to be able to choose the people that I love.” He started heading toward the door, probably to catch up with the rest of Nekoma, who had decided to run down to the convenience store for snacks.
“I don’t have any.” Kageyama interrupted while Kenma opened the door. It was the first time that he had revealed the secret of his skin to another person. “Soulmarks, I mean.”
“Maybe that makes you the lucky one,” he said over his shoulder.
Kageyama stood alone in the locker room for a long time after Kenma left.
Hinata and Kageyama were the last ones left on the court. By now, the 5 third-years had a system to clean up after practices: Yamaguchi would make sure that the underclassman grabbed all their stuff from the clubroom, Tsukishima and Yachi would start putting away the equipment, and Kageyama and Hinata would squeeze a few extra minutes of practice in before disassembling the net. They were a well-oiled machine.
Kageyama set the ball to Hinata, who spiked the ball across the net, flying across the court. Has the ball hit the ground on the other side, Hinata let out a scream, clutching his arm in front of him. He landed on the ground, falling to his knees, and it felt like Kageyama’s heart stopped.
In the blink of an eye, he was on his knees in front of Hinata. “What’s wrong? Did you knock your wrist? Hinata!”
“I don’t know.” He uncurled his hand in front of him, a black mark branded into the palm of his hand.
“What is that?” Kageyama felt panic seep into the corners of his mind, taking over all rational thought. He reached out, trying to get a better look at it.
“Y-Your hand…”
Faintly, through the adrenaline, Kageyama could feel the tendrils of pain burning through his hand, growing stronger at every moment. Looking down, he saw a similar black mark burning itself onto his own palm.
“What the?”
Yachi and Tsukishima came running out of the supply closet. Worry etched on their faces, Yachi let out a gasp, tripping over her feet, and Tsukishima caught her before she fell to the floor.
They crouched down next to Hinata and Kageyama. Yachi had tears in her eyes, and when she wiped them away, Kageyama could see the same black mark on her hand.
“Shit. What’s happening,” Tsukishima said, shaking his arm out in front of him. Holding his hand out, the other three follow his example, showing their identical brands.
The marks had settled into something akin to a bird, etched onto their palms like matching tattoos. They sat in a loose circle on the gym floor, palms up, just staring at their hands. Kageyama swallowed, trying to contain his panic and afraid to interrupt the silence because acknowledging the marks meant that they were real.
That was how Yamaguchi found them as he ran into the gym. Opening his mouth to speak, he stopped when he saw the four of them. He walked over, clutching his right hand loosely in front of him. Holding out a shaky palm, he gasped when he saw the five matching black crows on their palms.
“We need to go to a hospital,” Yamaguchi ordered, voice cracking with the strain of pain. “Now.”
The doctor returned to the room, flipping through charts on his clipboard. The five of them sat up, falling silent upon his entrance. They had rushed to the hospital, been poked and prodded with needles, and then left waiting in a tiny room for what felt like forever.
“Well,” he said, coming to a stop behind his desk. “You really put our laboratory through its paces.”
“What’s wrong with us?” Tsukishima demanded, straight and to the point. Yamaguchi placed a hand on his shoulder, softly rubbing where their soulmark was. Hinata couldn’t stop his leg from shaking, while Yachi was grasping onto Kageyama’s arm like it was a lifeline.
The doctor flipped open a file and looked at them with an even stare. “There’s nothing wrong with any of you.”
“Um—” Tsukishima interrupted. “Well, something's wrong, because we all experienced burning pain and have these things on our hands,” he said, waving his palm in front of the doctor.
“If you’ll let me explain, you’ll find that the marks are completely natural.” He put his hands up in a placating manner, trying to ease some of the tension in the room without success.
“So…” Hinata’s leg was still bouncing up and down, “What are they, then?”
“Soulmarks.” The doctor looked at each of them in turn. “Between the five of you.”
“That’s impossible.” Kageyama looked down at his lap, shaking his head. “I don’t have any soulmates. I’m destined to be alone— I was born blank.”
“Don’t talk about yourself that way.” Yamaguchi reached over and knocked his shoulder from the other side of the couch.
“It’s not a put-down,” he grumbled. “It’s just a fact.”
“Soulmates aren’t an exact science,” The doctor sat down at his desk, hands folded in front of him. “Sometimes, the world gets it wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s rare, but in about 3% of cases, soulmates aren’t born with their matching soulmarks. Instead, they appear later in life.” He ran a hand through his hair, “When the phenomenon was discovered in the early 20th century, the people who discovered it said that it was the world’s way of admitting it got it wrong. She said that the human will was too strong. That some of us defied fate and made our own soulmates.”
“That’s…” Kageyama didn't know what Hinata was about to say, but he could only describe the tone of his voice as awe.
“It’s probably not true. We just haven’t figured out the science behind it yet.” The doctor laughed. “It’s a nice story, though.”
“So, there’s nothing wrong with us?” Yachi confirmed, sounding less anxious for the first time since the marks appeared.
“This is all just a natural part of the soulmark process, albeit a very rare part of it.” The doctor laughed like he had made his own joke, while the five of them remained silent.
“So, what do we do?”
“Take some ibuprofen for the pain, moisturize your hands so they don’t dry out, and the swelling should go down on its own.” The doctor closed the file. “I’d also recommend that you refrain from playing volleyball for a couple of days, so you don’t further irritate them.”
“That’s it?” Tsukishima asked, standing up.
“The marks will settle within 48 hours, and then they’ll be like any other soulmarks. If it helps,” the doctor said, shepherding them toward the door, “Psychologists found that soulmates whose marks appear later in life are almost three times as likely to say that they were highly satisfied with their relationships.” He smiled and waved goodbye, “Make sure to stop by the nurses station to pick-up the printed copy of your exam reports on your way out. Congratulations, you guys— it’s not everyday you find your soulmates. ”
The door closed behind them and Hinata turned around, a look of horror on his face. “What are we going to do without volleyball for two days?”
“Oh no!” Yamaguchi bemoaned."We left all the nets up in the gym. Takeda is going to be so mad at us tomorrow.”
“We had the last gym slot of the day,” Yachi piped up. “We could run back and clean-up now?”
“This late?”
“Or, we could just not show up at all, tomorrow. It’s not like we can play, anyways. Doc’s orders.”
“Tsukki!”
“Sorry, Yamaguchi.”
Kageyama smiled to himself, listening to his friends soulmates bicker, and, for the first time, he felt like he wasn’t meant to be alone.
He may never know what it was like to be born soulmates with someone. Instead, he had found his own in a volleyball gym with people he didn’t even really like upon their first meeting. They had to work to become part of each other’s lives; they weren’t born connected. Instead, they had to forge their relationship with each other. And, now that fact was permanently marked on their skin.
But, then again, it wasn’t like soulmarks mattered much anyways. The five of them would have found each other regardless, no matter what the marks on their skin said.