Chapter Text
cause Im just a puzzle piece trying to fit just right
So i could be someone who's stuck inside your mind
🌻
Queue up just about every 20th century hit love song your dad has in his car playlist that he has yet to update. Stack up the (increasingly growing) books Namjoon hyung has scattered all over his room and underline all the lines that struck you most; try to make sense of the train of thoughts scrawled between the lines and hope the inspiration strikes you. Jungkook has just about written on every single blank piece of paper he can find --because he feels bad wasting papers--,wrote and rubbed till the papers tear from the wear. He has read the letter over and over again till the words seemed foreign and odd and just a jumble of letters that hold no weight.
It's been a few weeks since he decided to write him a letter. It's been a few weeks now. He really wants his letter to be perfect.
When Namjoon asked him why he decided to go old-school and write a letter, Jungkook just shrugged. Something about letters felt romantic and very fitting for the feelings he'd been harboring for some time now.
And the boy he has feelings for.
Jungkook huffs and sinks even deeper in the beanbag. "Hyunggg I can't think of what to write"
Namjoon -who has been sitting at his desk and hunched over his book for the past hour- casts a glance his way "Hmm maybe if you just put pen to paper. He'll probably like it if it's genuine, yknow? doesn't have to be poetic just..." he waves a hand in the air trying to prove a point "just genuine i think he'll like that"
Jungkook hums and taps the pen against his chin. He's about to go back to writing his letter but the thought of Seokjin even being momentarily happy from his letter makes his heart beat so fast it's hard to think of anything else. How was he so sure he'll like it anyway? Maybe his eyes will just glide over the words like he does to every letter he gets and tosses to an increasingly growing pile of love letters. However, Jungkook knows -deep, deep inside- that Seokjin isn't like that. Even when the fact that he easily defends someone he barely knows with utmost conviction isn't exactly logical. Jungkook groans into his (gay, little) hands, he didn't think writing your feeling would be so hard.
Jungkook looks up from over the letter and finds Namjoon grinning at him.
"What?" He asks impatiently but his face starts to redden from embarrassment.
Namjoon's smiles widens as he walks to him "Nothing, i just thought it was cute. Whoever is getting your letter is going to be really lucky, Jungkook-ah" he ruffles his hair then walks away.
Jungkook pouts and tries focus on the task at hand as he feels his cheeks slowly reddening but his heart still beats fast in chest, wild and untamed.
🌻
Kim Seokjin was a cynosure of all eyes. Jungkook found himself looking for him everywhere he went and in the influx of sweaty rowdy boys of his dingy school, he stuck out like the proverbial sore thumb. As creepy as it sounded, Jungkook stared and glanced till he memorized the back of his head. Seokjin has that kind of presenceㅡ a presence that demands attention but you can never do more than steal a few glances and then out of habit, these glances grew longer till you find it hard to tear your eyes off him. Jungkook could never stare long enough but kept staring just when he felt like a minuscule detail about Seokjin left his mind, kept staring to find out why he couldn't stare longer the first time.
Sometimes, he'd catch Seokjin act silly when he was with his friends, all boisterous and unrestrained laughter and his heart feels like it would overflow with so much fondness. Sometimes they'd meet eyes across the room and it'd make his breath hitch. There are times when Jungkook's eyes flit from person to person when he's in a room full of people, as if finding that one person will immediately brighten up the place.
Since Seokjin seemingly took place in his head and was embedded into the crevice of his mind that Jungkook had to translate his thoughts and feelings onto something tangible, he often forgot about reality and the responsibilities looming overhead and every trip to school was spent hastily writing his homework in the back of the bus and between classes. He has to get it out of his head or it'll drive him insane.
Nobody told you that in your freshman year, you would meet a devastatingly handsome senior who would incessantly plague your head.
🌻
A few weeks later, Jungkook stood outside the classroom and tried to scan the room discreetly. When the object of his attention wasn't in sight, he bit his lips, rubbed his sweaty palms on his shirt and tried to breathe. But today, Jungkook's stomach is in twists and knots that not even the most effective breathing exercises can untangle. The letter is safely tucked in the pocket of pants and he absentmindedly traces the faint outline. Seokjin can't be absent today, not when'd finally gathered the courage to speak to him.
He's about to peek a second time when someone clears their throat.
Jungkook whips his head so fast he'd had half a mind to wonder if he'd accidentally broken his neck and is met with a boy regarding him with a bored expression
Frankly, he would be lying if he said he wasn't intimidated by the guy fanning himself with the latest volume of slam dunk (min yoongi, class president of one of the senior classes, he later learns) "do you need help with anything, junior? You've been standing there for a minute now" he drawls out lazily, his voice almost drowned out from the chatter of students all around.
Flustered, jungkook stutters "i'm searching for kim seokjin sunbae?" he tries not to be nervous but he already feels his voice betraying him "i have s-something to give him..." he trails off nervously the longer Yoongi's intense and calculating stare lingers on him
"Oh?" Yoongi slaps his knee in realization "i think I recognize you, you're that kid who has heart eyes for jin-hyung. Why don't you ask him yourself?"
"what-"
"You're the kid who has heart eyes for jin-hyung. You're always staring from afar, thinking no one will notice but we do, even if jin-hyung doesnt" yoongi inches closer "you're not exactly as subtle as you hope to be. You're all starry eyed whenever you're in the same room as he is. However, if you pester him with your feelings and won't take 'no' for an answer back. off. right. now" He enunciates every word with a jab from the rolled up manga.
This ticks Jungkook off and ignites a flame in him. He wills every cell in his body not to flinch when he locks eyes with Yoongi and he's never hated his competitive nature more than he did now.
He's about to open his mouth and deliver an equally sassy retort when someone walks towards them. Kim Seokjin, in all his glory, directs his attention to them and Jungkook can't catch his breath.
"Oh! You must be the student Mr.Yoon sent for me to tutor?" Seokjin says as he approaches them "Are you?"
Jungkook is so enamored it's taking a little longer for his head to process the question directed to him he stares at him a little longer than what is deemed socially appropriate.
He accidentally nods his head, but before he can take it back Seokjin is already humming in conformation.
"Okay. Good. We need to agree on a time and place" Seokjin says, pulling out a notepad "Will you find it easier if we study at your house?"
Jungkook doesn't know why, but something about Yoongi strikes in him the fear of God which is really inconvenient now, considering that he's trying to bullshit his way into scoring a 'study date' with Seokjin. He'll regret this later but right now, he's desperate. And desperate measures lead to strange outcomes. Who knows? Maybe one day, it'll be a funny story to retell at gatherings.
Except that jungkooks never been good at telling stories, or things could go south and he'll live under a rock for screwing things up with seokjin
"O-oh i uh. I'd really rather have this conversation alone..." Jungkook stresses the last word as he eyes Yoongi, who side-eyes him back "personal info and all,..can't have anyone else listwning"
Seokjin raises an eyebrow in curiosity but complies nonetheless "i'll meet you after class, Yoongichi" and to that, Yoongi scoffs in disbelief and slowly backs away but not before casting one warning glance in Jungkook's way
Jungkook inwardly sighs in relief and gives Seokjin his address. Seokjin briefly explains what lessons he'll teach as he scribbles on his notepad. By the time he's done, he closes it with an air of finality and directs his attention back to jungkook.
"Well, then" Seokjin whispers with quiet enthusiasm as leans in closer "i hope i'll be able to help you with your studies"
Jungkook almost stumbles backwards with the way his legs suddenly feel weak. He decided that he already embarrassed himself enough, so he composes himself and meekly nods. He suddenly feels very conscious of himself. Oh God, he hopes his breath doesn't stink. "So i'll see you around?"
"Not if i see you first. Later, Jungkook"
Jungkook doesn't know if he's being delusional or if it's wishful thinking but Seokjin's eyes linger on him a little longer and the corners of his mouth slightly quirk upward before he retreats backwards. Jungkook feels the magnetic pull of his presence till he finally rounds the corner and disappears from his sight.
It's just a tutoring session, Jungkook can't be in deep shit, right?