Chapter Text
It’s a little off putting when you watch someone who’s always usually uncrackable and always smiling, pouting and sulking in bed the entire day. Hajime is genuinely, positively, worried about the sudden mood change in Servant, just like that.
He’s simply been staring at his thighs, frown visible on his face, reluctant to even walk outside at this point, trying to lock himself in the cabin, which clearly, Hajime could absolutely not let happen. Who fucking knows what could happen?
Dragging him out was a feat, but trying to figure out the issue to Servant’s mood was almost fucking impossible. It was unnerving, and hell, it was enough to throw the rest of the class into a panic, especially with the particularly loud ones, who weren’t hesitant to point out the obvious.
(“Because wow, why the fuck is he so upset, I have literally never seen him like that in my life—“)
Even they were at a loss, and Servant especially didn’t hide his distaste, clearly showing his scorn, contempt and his glare at full fury, not holding back on tearing everyone a new asshole.
(Alright but him bashing Souda was funny though)
(And Souda did deserve it)
Well, everyone but Hajime. But that’s normal, because they’re gay.
Hajime wasn’t quite sure what was going on in that fucked up, brilliant fluffy head of his, and even at some point Kamukura was the same, at a loss when he saw Servant act so strange, stranger than he had ever seen in his life. He seems intrigued, and Hajime may or may not have reached peak anxiety at that. He simply tries to make quick work of everything at the island, before taking both of them back to their cottage. He’d rather not let Meshi get a heatstroke, and wants to get down to the bottom of this.
Coming out of the shower to see a just clean, red flushed (like the way it looks when you rub yourself raw in a boiling hot shower) Servant staring at the ceiling in a way you can’t describe as anything but contemptuous, Hajime decides that breaking the ice now would be much better, at least with the privacy and the fatigue taking over them. At least it won’t turn into a real petty fight when they have no energy, right?
“Meshi?”
No response
“Meshi, baby, look at me.”
The only response he gets is a turn of Meshi’s head, which is turning to look at him in the same depressing stare as before. He can see a bit more clearly now, what might be a string of violent self-loathing and cruel thoughts swirling in those pretty grey eyes of his. That’s definitely not good.
“Come over here, please?”
He shifts from where he’s sitting on the side of the bed, turning to keep all his attention on Servant and opening his arms, and invite to the usually over affectionate boy. It’s met with a momentary pause, a worn out, self loathing stare, and a concerningly long moment of hesitancy before a tiresome, sluggish bunch of movements land him onto Hajime’s lap, curling himself around the other and hiding his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck instantly. Hajime’s getting more and more surprised every moment. Immediately wrapping his arms around the boy wrapping tightly against him, he leans back on the bed, pressing kisses to the other’s temple.
“Can you please tell me what’s going on? This is not like you.”
So sweet. Servant muses on how a man can be such a sweetheart to someone like him, but then again, it’s Hajime, and boy as smart as he is, he’s dumb as shit. Still, it makes him feel a swirl of relief that pushed away the feeling of distress welling up, even if it was for just a moment. There is only so much one brilliant man infront of him can do in such a situation.
Obviously, that’s expected with someone who’s let themselves go, right?
The only response that he can give his lover is a gentle squeeze and a hum acknowledging that he heard it. He can’t hide anything from Hajime even if he wanted to, his analytical ability superior to everything, especially with his (not) flimsy lies. It makes Hajime sink in a little bit more worry, knowing a reaction like that means anything. He might not know what is happening, but he can still read his lover, somewhat, and at least has a bit more hope held out that would spill. Even if the other says that he’s not up for it, it would take off so many worries. Hajime just continues with his motions, stroking Servant’s hair gently.
“...it’s not important.”
It’s Hajime who turns to him this time, pulling both of them down to lay back on the bed, keeping his arms around the other and bringing him closer.
“Your attitude scared the entire class shitless. I doubt that’s not, not important.”
“...”
“You don’t need to say anything, but I just asked if you need to vent. I love you, and I don’t want you hiding.”
“...”
It’s almost like time had stopped, because there was no reaction from either of them. Hajime may or may not have started holding his breath in anticipation, worrying about what could possibly come.
He just didn’t expect the fluffy headed boy in his lap to lean his head against his own shoulder, a sigh against his shoulder as his body slumps up against his boyfriend. It’s not the same as usual, and it makes Hajime wrap his arms around and grip his lover firmly, pulling him to his chest.
His lips quiver as he hides his face from Hajime, the feelings of something warm and gentle cradling his fragile heart at the moment is too foreign and too upsetting to bear just like that. He doesn’t want to part regardless of the strain.
“...I...just want to stay..like this for now.”
Hajime just silently agrees, pulling his lover down on top of him instead.