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War is never kind.
Seokjin and Namjoon knew that because they were there.
During the war, a lot of people lost a lot of things. They lost homes, jobs, families, and loved ones.
Yoongi was Seokjin and Namjoon’s best friend. The three of them grew up together on a quiet street in a small town. Seokjin and Yoongi were childhood sweethearts. Namjoon looked up to them both. They all spent their days together, lounging in the sun and eating watermelon slices.
But then the war came and they all became adults in the blink of an eye. Namjoon and Yoongi enlisted as foot soldiers while Seokjin enlisted as a military doctor because of his degree.
Everyday was a battlefield that never stayed certain. The three of them continuously watched as comrades fell and towns came under siege. Everything was horrible because there was nothing they could do about it.
But even when things looked bleak, they tried to find a silver lining to hold onto. Seokjin and Yoongi’s relationship was especially frowned upon so they had to keep their many rendezvous a secret. Namjoon would always cover for them because even though the rest of the world saw their love as vile, he knew for certain that their love was the only thing truer than the sun rising for another day.
Sometimes he wished he had something like they had. Sneaking off at night to take a dip in the lake and dancing outside a bar under the moonlight’s blessing sounded so fun and exhilarating, he also wanted to know what it was like. But it was highly unlikely for him to fall for anyone and for anyone to fall for him when the world was at its wits end.
That is, until Hoseok came along and stole his book from right under his nose. Literally.
Hoseok was from a different battalion who mixed in with theirs when they passed by one of the reclaimed territories. Hoseok was by all means sunshine in human form. And although he did steal Namjoon’s book while he was getting to the good part, he offered Namjoon something else in return and Namjoon will never forget the way Hoseok’s breath felt on his skin. The night was cold but their tent was warm and he finally understood what it was like to feel loved.
Days turned into weeks. And weeks turned into months. The four of them grew ever closer as the war seemed to subside on their end. Hope began to blossom inside the hearts of every soldier as the upcoming conclusion to their collective nightmare teases forth a new dawn.
Then the bombs dropped from the sky like blows of thunder, making the ground shake and their hearts quiver. Hoseok had to leave because his battalion was being deployed to a different part of the county. Before he left, he and Namjoon shared one last kiss, a promise to live and meet again once everything is truly over.
Namjoon watched on with tears in his eyes as Hoseok’s back receded further and further away from him. Once Hoseok was truly gone he turned away and faced their enemy head-on with a new found determination.
He and Yoongi fought as hard as they could at the front lines. Their ears rang with the sound of bullets being fired and bodies dropping to the ground. But they had to persevere because they wanted to see a brighter tomorrow. For themselves. And for the future generations. They promised each other they would see it. After everything that’s happened, they had to.
It was a lapse in judgement that Namjoon truly regrets. A lapse in judgement and the worst timing possible. They thought they could do it. They thought they could stand their ground. They’ve done it before and they can certainly do it again.
But it was an ambush. The enemy had them surrounded like sitting ducks. One by one their comrades fell, like marionettes having their strings cut.
Namjoon looked for Yoongi. He had to get to his hyung and bring him back to safety. He promised Seokjin. They both promised him.
The gunshot pierced the sky like a needle dropping in an empty room. It was meant for him. He saw the shooter. He knew where they aimed. But Yoongi jumped in front of him and took the shot in his stead. When Yoongi’s body dropped to the ground, Namjoon’s world fell off its axis.
“Medic! I need a medic!” he screamed until his throat became sore. The stretcher arrived and everything became an overlapping blur of voices and bodies and gunshots. Somehow in the chaos of it all, they get back to their base, Yoongi’s limp body in his arms. His uniform soaked to the skin in the older’s blood.
Namjoon had hoped that a different doctor would attend to them. But upon hearing Seokjin’s screams in the ward, he knew he had failed yet again. He felt the medical team take Yoongi away from him and Seokjin did not spare him a glance nor said a single word.
This was his fault. He knew it was his fault. He said as much to himself as he prepared to go back into the battlefield. However, a firm hand on his shoulder stopped him from going further.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Seokjin demanded, the bright light in his eyes now just a dim glow.
“I’m avenging, hyung,” Namjoon replied just as snappily. “That’s where I’m going.”
“You’re not fit to go back out there, Joon.”
“I don’t care. They shot hyung. That was supposed to be me. The least I can do is shoot back.”
“Joon, stop it.”
He didn’t listen.
“Kim Namjoon, get back here! I already lost him. I can’t lose you too!”
Seokjin’s words sunk in very slowly.
“W…what?”
“He’s gone, Joon-ah,” Seokjin whispered breathlessly, the tears in his eyes shining like diamonds on his blood-stained face. “Your Yoongi-hyung is gone.”
Namjoon had thought that his world couldn’t collapse further than it already did. But that day was the darkest day in his life. Yoongi who was his other older brother from another mother, who always gave him sweets when he was sad, who taught him that life did not always have to be about knowing anything and everything. His hyung, his Yoongi-hyung, was gone and never coming back.
If he shouted at the sky for being cruel and unfair, he didn’t hear it. If Seokjin had wrapped his arms around him to console him, he didn’t feel it. Because the only thing in his mind was the overwhelming feeling of loss. A loss that shouldn’t have had to happen if those in power ever had a shred of humanity in their veins.
War wasn’t born out of conflict. It was born out of selfishness.
The people who lost their lives weren’t fighting because they wanted to. They were fighting because they had to. Because they wanted something more than the world they were born in. Because they wanted to remember what it was like before everyone had to pick sides. Because tomorrows used to be something to look forward to and they needed it to be something to look forward to.
If they didn’t, then what else is there to live for?
War is never kind.
Seokjin and Namjoon know that because they were there.
During the war, a lot of people lost a lot of things. They lost homes, jobs, families, and loved ones.
Yoongi was Seokjin and Namjoon’s best friend. Hoseok was Namjoon’s lover. They both died in a fight that wasn’t there own.
Seokjin and Namjoon are one of the few lucky enough to survive. And as they stand together, holding the pieces of themselves they haven’t yet lost, they place flowers on the graves of their friends.
Because everything is finally over and a new dawn can finally arrive.
To those who weren’t there to see it, they will forever be honored and remembered. To those who did, a promise is spoken between tongues.
“We are a generation of war and now that war is ended. To you who come after us, let love fill your hearts. Because it is love that will be your salvation.”