Archive of Our Own

“Death is not the opposite of Life, but a part of it.” - Haruki Murakami

☠ Part 1 ☠

Sam Tinnesz - Far From Home

♫ Black bird in the sky, with blood on its wings, out here alone...

The air is cold, the night is long.

I feel like I might fade into the dawn.

Fade until I'm gone... ♫

Jaymes Young - Moondust

♫ Looking at you, like a star...

From a place, the world forgot.

And there's nothing, that I can do.

Except bury my love for you... ♫ 

Matt Maeson - Dancing After Death

♫ If I let go, would you hold on? Would we fly?

Is it safer if we just say that we tried?

Are we laughing at the danger?

Are we dancing after death, you and I? ♫   

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

Unlike most people, Yoongi loved his job.

Though, he was very much not like most people.

In fact, he wasn’t a person at all.

He must’ve been one, once, long ago, but not anymore.

Now, Yoongi was someone whom all humans feared or should he say… something?

Yoongi was a Grim Reaper, an Angel of Death.

And he was hella good at his job.

His job wasn’t a very demanding one - he just escorted people to the afterlife, it was simple as that.

Or not.

Even after dying, most humans refused to leave. They all had different reasons.

‘My child was just born; my daughter is getting married; my brother killed me; my wife is still alive; I can’t go; I have more work to do; Please, let me stay here for a little longer; please; please; please….’

Yoongi didn’t give a shit about that, he couldn’t give a single fuck, even if he tried to anyway.

So he never listened to the pleas, the constant begging and cries. He had a job to do, so he did it.

He sent people to Heaven and sometimes to Hell too, because there were some fuckers who deserved to burn in the pits of Hell, too many for Yoongi’s liking, humans were terrific creatures. 

But he had no right to judge. After all, when he was alive, he was a trash just like them, the worst kind.

Because the only way to land a job as a Grim Reaper was to be a sinner, a huge one at that.

It was a way to pay for your deeds, so at times Yoongi wondered, what in the world did he do when he was alive?

Did he kill someone? Most likely. Perhaps, more than one person.

But he had no memories of that, that was also part of his punishment. He had no memories of his life as a human, he remembered nothing and yet… here he was, paying for what he had done, whatever that was.

Everyone feared death, it was quite strange actually and absolutely meaningless in Yoongi’s eyes.

Why fear something, which was going to chase after you your whole life, until it finally decided it was time for you to leave this world?

Dying was inevitable, you can’t cheat death, you just can’t.

Or so Yoongi believed, until… he met a very special boy.

Yoongi was just a messenger of death, maybe most people were not happy that his grumpy face and fierce eyes were the last thing they were about to see before they left.

But there was nothing Yoongi could do about that. He was escorting people who had died. What was he supposed to do? Smile and laugh in their faces? Even Yoongi wasn’t that heartless.

His colleagues thought otherwise though. There were many other reapers, but Yoongi didn’t get along with them, he didn’t even try, he hated them all. Why? Because they were just like him - sinners, sinners, sinners.

What were they all hoping for? Atonement? Was it really possible to have that? After they had ruined the lives of who knows how many people?

That’s why Yoongi strayed from everyone, he just wanted to do his job and that’s what he was doing at the moment too.

Yoongi looked at the watch on his wrist - 9:26 pm.

It’s about to happen any second now.

And it did. The moment Yoongi raised his head, a car violently collided with a tree. The weather was terrible, it was raining, there was a fog, it was cold, so the road was a bit icy, slippery and even the quick reaction of the driver and the fact that he stepped on the breaks with all his might, changed nothing.

That’s what Yoongi usually did, he always arrived at the scene a few minutes earlier, then he waited, waited for whatever unfortunate accident was about to occur. Sometimes he went to homes, sometimes to hospitals, sometimes to hotel rooms, to a club, to a specific street or some abandoned place, a lake, a forest even.

People died in various places, in various ways, for various reasons.

Yoongi glanced at the small, black notebook, which he was carrying around and he scanned the page.

Busan, Beomcheon-dong, Beomgokbuk-ro, 9:26 pm, car accident

Jeon Minhyuk - 32 years old

Jeon Sodam - 34 years old

Jeon Jungkook - 7 years old

It was a whole family. Tragic indeed, but at least… they had spent their last moments together.

Yoongi walked towards the car, which was now a real mess, completely smashed, pieces of it were all around the place, sadly, it wasn’t a main road and not many cars passed by, so the family was truly unlucky indeed. By the time, they were found, it was going to be too late.

All three people in the car were already dead anyway.

At night, Yoongi was like a shadow, which lurked around, it was often hard to spot him, because of his black attire. Very predictable and even dramatic if you ask him, but he liked black and it suited him, so he had no complains.

Yoongi has been doing this job for quite a long time already and he was a perfectionist, he hadn’t made a single mistake and today was going to be no different, but, but, but-

The Grim Reaper halted his steps right outside of the car, because he could feel it… something was off, very very off.

Yoongi knelt down and looked inside. He cursed under his breath, because fuck, the kid was still alive.

Barely, he was barely hanging, he should’ve died by now, just like his parents, who lost their lives almost instantly after the powerful impact.

Just a little patience, wait for a minute or two and he’s going to die, no need to panic.

Yoongi told himself, but then… he locked eyes with the boy. The reaper’s eyes widened just a bit, but he wasn’t that taken aback, because the boy, Jungkook if he recalled correctly, was on the verge of dying, so it was possible for him to see Yoongi, since he was here to send him off, but that was also something unplanned and Yoongi didn’t do well with things, which were not included in his plans.

He was about to get up, but the boy opened his mouth, Yoongi knew what he was going to hear, it was those same words, which he had heard thousands and thousands of times already.

‘Please, help me. Save me, please.’

Humans were all the same, selfish and terrible creatures, no matter how good they pretended to be, in their final moments, all their dirty secrets got out, everything got exposed.

But to his utter surprise, tonight… Yoongi heard something else, the same and yet not and those words, left a rather big impact on him.

“P-please… my Appa and Omma… help them. Save them, please…”

What the fuck? What the hell is wrong with this kid??

There were tears at the corner of the boy’s eyes and he was barely breathing, his seatbelt hadn’t been able to protect him much, there was a large piece of glass in his body and he was bleeding, a lot, he wasn’t going to last long.

It’s not like Yoongi was wishing for someone’s death, especially a child’s, but this boy was meant to die today, it was in Yoongi’s notebook and his notebook was never wrong.

The reaper rose to his feet and took in a deep breath, this boy- Jungkook-, managed to shatter Yoongi’s whole world and all of his beliefs, with just one sentence.

Jungkook was definitely in a lot of pain, but the only sounds, which he was letting out at the moment were some quiet sobs, perhaps he knew, perhaps he was aware of the fact that his parents were no longer alive and yet he was desperately holding onto that tiny hope that they could be saved. Not him, but them. Could such pure love exist? Could such a pure and kind-hearted human exist?

Yoongi paced around the car, in such extreme situations as this one, he was allowed to take action, to- to- to-

He couldn’t. He couldn’t harm that child.

He knew that he had to do something, quickly, because you can’t play with death, you can’t deceive it.

Jeon Jungkook had to die tonight, he was on the fucking list, he was, damn it, he was.

And then, Yoongi did the only thing he could think of, he opened his notebook again and he stared at the page with the three names on it and he did something unthinkable, something which was not allowed - he ripped off the last part of the page with Jungkook’s name.

Now it was as if the boy’s name was never there, as if it wasn’t included in that sick masterplan from the start, as if… the boy was meant to survive.

But he wasn’t and this was not going to end well, Yoongi was certain, there were going to be consequences, dreadful ones.

A car drove by and stopped abruptly, people got off and started dialing numbers, it suddenly got so noisy and chaotic, but the new faces had seen Jungkook and at this point, Yoongi could barely hear the boy’s heartbeat, but his heart was still thumping, he was still alive and it was only because Yoongi had decided to spare his life.

Without a doubt, Yoongi just did something, which had never been done by another Grim Reaper before. He saved that boy’s life.

Yoongi saved Jeon Jungkook.

Yoongi couldn’t take any risks. So he did the only logical thing that there was - ever since the accident, he glued himself to Jungkook’s side.

The boy was very traumatized, which was a given since he had lost his parents.

He was also in a very bad condition and all doctors wondered how he was even alive, they called it a miracle, Yoongi called it bullshit, because no such wonderful things as miracles existed.

Jungkook spent weeks and weeks in a hospital, recovering, at least physically.

His mother’s parents had died before he was even born, but his father’s were still alive and they took him in.

They were also mourning and the two elderly people tried their best to cheer up their grandson, to make him smile and to feel happiness again.

It wasn’t easy, at all. 

Jungkook had just started school two months prior the accident, but he spent a lot of time healing and he went back to school during the second semester, when Spring was already present.

He went to a different school though, because his grandparents lived in another neighborhood and he had to move, so he knew no one, but everybody knew him.

‘Hey, it’s that boy… the boy whose parents died in a car crash. He was there too! He almost died!’

But Jungkook never said anything, he just went to school, didn’t interact with anyone, didn’t smile at anyone, didn’t utter a single word.

He only spoke to his grandparents, at home and in front of them, he faked a smile. In his room - he silently cried, every single night.

And Yoongi knew that, because he was there, every night, every day.

He started following Jungkook with this thought in mind: This boy was supposed to die and yet I let him live. What if he becomes some sociopath, what if he endangers other people?? I can’t let that happen. I have to make sure that no such thing happens.

But that… that was three years ago. Because now, Jungkook was ten and he hadn’t changed much in those years.

He was still the same quiet boy, which caused no trouble, never worried his grandparents, did decently well at school, was polite to elders, still faked smiles, still didn’t have any friends, not because he couldn’t make some, he just didn’t want to and he was still… that kind and good child from three years ago.

Yoongi had never questioned it before - what his notebook said, because it was the only thing which made sense, it’s all he knew, it was his… life, even though he had lost his own life a long time ago.

But after observing Jungkook for such a long time, he started wondering - why? Why was someone like Jungkook meant to die? Weren’t only evil, vicious people supposed to die? The guilty ones, the ones who had done something bad, the criminals or the ones who had lived long enough and died peacefully in their sleep, wasn’t Yoongi escorting such people to the afterlife? 

Jungkook had a pure soul, he was a good human and he was living a second life, he had been given a second chance, so why wasn’t he using it?? It honestly hurt to see the boy like that.

Hurt?

Not exactly… not really, Yoongi was a reaper and as one, he was ripped off of all emotions, he could feel no pain, no love, no sympathy, he couldn’t feel anything, which was why Grim Reapers did what they did.

And yet… he somehow felt connected to Jungkook, as if there was an invisible string between them, something always pulled Yoongi towards the boy and over the years, he learnt how to read the boy’s mood in the matter of seconds.

Right now, Jungkook was very irritated and he could probably start fuming any minute now. He was also frowning, he was scrunching his nose and he was huffing in annoyance, all because of his Math’s homework, which was the biggest torture on Earth.

“This is going to be the death of me.”

Jungkook mumbled, as he let his head fall on the desk and Yoongi wanted to scold him, to tell him not to say such things, to not speak of death so carelessly, because it knew how to surprise you, it knew how to appear when you least expect it.

But Yoongi couldn’t say anything, because he was a Grim Reaper, a creature associated with Death and no mortal could see him or hear him, only after they were dead, only then or in some occasions: when they were about to die, just like Jungkook, all those years ago.

So no matter what type of advice Yoongi wanted to give to the boy, he couldn’t and that was frustrating. He didn’t save Jungkook’s life just so the boy could be so miserable for the rest of his days.

Something had to happen, something had to change and it did.

When he was twelve years old, Jungkook met a boy - Park Jimin.

The boy was two years older and he had quite a different personality from Jungkook. He was very talkative and sociable, but he was not the type who had many friends, just a few, close ones and he looked and acted like a decent human. Yoongi knew a thing or two about the boy, because he followed him for days, after Jimin first approached Jungkook.

It happened during a joined P.E. class and Jimin’s class was short on people, so the boy made it its mission to recruit more players for the football match and Jungkook wasn’t exceptionally good at turning people down, so he agreed to join.

After the game, Jimin made small talk and Jungkook mostly ignored him, but after that, Jimin always greeted him whenever he saw him in the hallways and when he invited Jungkook to have lunch together once and bought him a chocolate milk, a smile graced Jungkook’s lovely face and Yoongi just knew it - it was a genuine smile and Jungkook… he had just made his first friend.

The two boys were pretty much inseparable since then - they studied together, spent their free time together, had meals together, visited each other’s houses, texted all the time, called each other stupid names, but still laughed about it after that and that was good.

There was surely some progress, Jimin had managed to help Jungkook come out of his shell and now the boy had turned into a chatterbox, of course only with Jimin, with other people Jungkook just nodded or hummed or made some inhuman noises out of surprise, because he wasn’t used to talking to people and Jimin teased him to no end for that.

And whenever Jungkook smiled, Yoongi felt weird, like something in his chest was trying to come back to life, which was just absurd. He was just proud, proud of himself for letting that boy live and happy that Jungkook was finally doing that - living.

Happy?

That wasn’t it either, Yoongi could feel no such emotion, he was just… a bit too accustomed to Jungkook now. He had spent years and years by his side and the boy had done nothing bad in his life so far. Yoongi highly doubted that Jungkook could ever go the wrong path, so once again… why did his name have to be put on a dumb list on that terrible day?

Yoongi had no explanation for that, but things were looking great for Jungkook now, he still wasn’t okay at communicating with others, but he was trying.

Jimin was one of the few people who wasn’t into gossips and thus he knew nothing about Jungkook’s sad past, but Jungkook gathered the courage to share his story with the older boy one day, it was months and months into their friendship.

Jungkook was afraid that Jimin would pity him and start treating him differently, that’s why he kept quiet for so long, but after spilling everything, Jimin just brought him in a hug and Jungkok cried a lot, because he still missed his parents so damn much, but they were gone and he knew that he had to move on, that’s the least he could do, so he was trying, he really was.

And life no longer seemed so dull and grey, there was now colour in it and laughter and happiness too.

And all of that made Yoongi let his guard down, it made him forget that Jungkook was a peculiar case, but one day, the Grim Reaper was reminded of that, in the worst way possible.

Jungkook was now fourteen and the 7^th year anniversary of his parents was last week, so he was feeling a bit down and Jimin wanted to make him feel better, so he took him to a PC room and bought him food and told him jokes, but Jungkook still didn’t look fine.

Jimin didn’t want to push the younger too far, but he still suggested going to a park, to the sea, but Jungkook said that he was tired, so instead Jimin offered that they should just watch a movie and since the day after was Saturday, they could have a sleepover party, because it was already late and they were close to the younger’s home. Jungkook really didn’t want to be alone, but he didn’t want his grandparents to see him in such a gloomy state, so he suggested going to Jimin’s place and his friend agreed.

It was all connected, almost like a plan, which didn’t exist, but was followed anyway, because on that day - nobody was supposed to be in Jimin’s home.

Mr. Park was on a business trip and Mrs. Park was visiting her sister in another neighborhood and Jimin had already made up his mind to spend the night at Jungkook’s place and that’s where they should’ve gone, but they didn’t.

The boys were taking their time, while they were walking up the stairs and Yoongi huffed in annoyance, as he took two-three steps at once.

It might not look like it, because he was always around Jungkook, but Yoongi was still a Grim Reaper and a rather busy one at that, but thankfully he had a schedule, his notebook always told him where to be and when.

Yoongi reached the floor before the two boys and he took out his notebook while was waiting for them to catch up. The reaper’s next ‘appointment’ was at midnight, so he still had some time, but as he went through the pages, his lips parted in shock, because suddenly now he had another person to escort before the one at midnight and it wasn’t just any person.

Busan, Yongdang-Dong, Apartment Complex 361, 5^th Floor, 10:06 pm, stab wound

Jeon Jungkook - 14 years old

Yoongi didn’t know why, but his hands started shaking. Jimin lived on the 5^th floor and when the reaper looked at his watch, it showed the scary numbers - 10:03 pm.

What the fucking hell?? What the- Fuck! Jungkook is going to die in three fucking minutes!! This wasn’t planned! This wasn’t-

Yoongi was seriously having a crisis right now and it just got worse when he heard Jimin and Jungkook’s voices, they were here now and the reaper frantically looked around. His eyes fell on the door of Jimin’s apartment, he knew it all too well by know, because Jungkook had stopped by many times and shit, the door wasn’t closed, someone was inside, fuck, fuck, fuck.

10:04 pm.

Yoongi was about to lose his mind.

Stop, stop walking, just don’t go in there!!!

“Oh? Did I forget to close and lock the door? I was in quite the hurry when I went out.”

Jimin wondered out and Jungkook just shook his head in disbelief.

“You’re so forgetful, Hyung. You’re going to forget your head somewhere one of these days.”

“Brat.”

Jimin whined, as he smacked Jungkook on the back of his head and the boy laughed.

10:05 pm.

Min Yoongi was fearless, he was dead already, so what could he be afraid of?

But right now… Yoongi felt beyond anxious and it wasn’t just because his plans for the night had changed in the last minute.

Jimin and Jungkook stepped inside and Yoongi just stood outside, all he could do was watch with a horrified expression.

Jungkook was about to take off his shoes, but he looked ahead and he saw that the lights in the living room were on and the Parks were not at home and the door was open and gosh, Jimin didn’t forget to lock the door.

“Hyung.” Jungkook hurriedly said, as he grabbed Jimin’s hand. “Let’s go. We have to get out of here!”

“Eh? What do you mean? You said that-”

Jimin couldn’t finish his sentence, because a tall man with a mask appeared out of nowhere. There was a big bag in one of his hands and in the other - a knife.

“You little shits! Nobody was supposed to be home!”

The man yelled and dashed towards them. Jimin was just too surprised and he couldn’t move, he couldn’t react, it was as if his legs were hammered to the floor with nails, preventing him from moving an inch.

“Hyung!”

Jungkook screamed when the man raised his hand, the one with the knife and aimed it at Jimin.

Jungkook acted without thinking, he couldn’t let anything happen to his Hyung, to his only- no, to his best friend. He had to protect him, so he pushed Jimin aside and the boy fell down with a thud.

There was now no one and nothing standing between Jungkook and that knife.

10:06 pm.

Jungkook’s name was once again in the notebook and Yoongi already helped him once, so now he had to let nature take its course, because sadly, the only certain thing in every human’s life was death. You were bound to die, sooner or later, one way or another.

But Yoongi just couldn’t stand still and do nothing, not after he had spent seven years by that boy’s side, not when he knew just how good of a person Jungkook was and even now, he had once again decided to save someone else’s life instead of his own, just like seven years ago.

And no, no, no, a person like Jungkook wasn’t supposed to die.

Yoongi rarely used his powers, he didn’t have many to begin with, but since he couldn’t touch anything from the world of mortals, he couldn’t stop the man with the knife, but he did make all the lights on the floor go out.

It was now completely dark and Yoongi was used to darkness, he lived in it, every single day, but humans were not, they needed light in their life, in every meaning of that word.

The burglar cursed loudly and put back his knife, he couldn’t risk accidentally hurting himself by swaying the weapon in the darkness and it wasn’t worth it.

The man just ran, before he walked out of the apartment, he pushed another person who stumbled back in fell down, it was Jungkook.

Yoongi stared at the fucking bastard who had almost taken away Jungkook’s precious life. Despite the darkness, the reaper could see the man’s face very well and he made sure to remember it.

I am so sending him to Hell.

Yoongi made the mental note and then made the electricity come back. He needed no time to adjust his eyes to the light, but Jimin and Jungkook did.

The two boys were currently on the floor, breathing heavily, they probably got scared, it was normal, but then Jimin loudly shrieked.

“Jungkook! You’re bleeding!!”

The words made Yoongi get closer, as fear once again overtook him, he couldn’t even focus on the bizarreness of that, because Jungkook was indeed bleeding. There was a cut on his arm, it didn’t look deep, but it wasn’t a minor injury either.

“I’m alright, Hyung. Don’t worry.” Jungkook said, as he looked at his own arm and then back at Jimin. He gave the older a once-over and he smiled when he saw that Jimin wasn’t injured in the slightest. “You are safe, Hyung and that’s all which matters.”

Yoongi sighed in relief and just kept on looking at the two boys and especially Jungkook.

You’re safe, you’re alive, Jungkook and that… that’s all, which matters, to me…

After that accident, Jungkook was still taken to a hospital, he walked around with a bandage on his arm for a while, but he was okay.

On the night when Jungkook got injured, Yoongi did the same thing as years ago - he ripped off the page with Jungkook’s name and this time he shed the tiny paper in the small pieces.

But there’s no free lunch in life. You always have to pay the price.

And it happened, just two weeks after the accident, Jungkook’s grandmother passed away.

Yoongi was sure that it wasn’t a coincidence. The woman wasn’t sick and she mostly stayed at home. She died in her sleep with a smile on her face, because she had led a good life.

But Jungkook didn’t take it well. He cried a lot, just like seven years ago.

The old woman was just like a scapegoat - it was life for life. Seven years ago, Jungkook didn’t die, but his parents did, so maybe fate let things slide, but now someone had to die and since it wasn’t Jungkook, it only made sense that it was going to be someone from his family, someone whom he loved.

Thankfully, Jimin was always with Jungkook, they had gotten even closer after the near-death experience and it once again took time, but Jungkook slowly got better, he started going out again and he smiled more often.

He was still sad whenever he thought about his grandmother though, he loved her a lot and he still missed his parents, so so much.

Life was cruel, but the dead were dead and those who were alive had to move forward. Not to forget, but not to think about the person they had lost all the time either.

Even though Jungkook’s heart broke when his grandmother left the world, the boy was alive and that’s why Yoongi didn’t regret his decision.

He had made the choice to once again save Jungkook and he believed that he had done the right thing.

Two years later, the most unexpected thing ever happened.

It was a very cold January night. It was snowing and Jungkook was going home from school. His breath was evident in the air and his nose was red, even the thick coat, the gloves, the scarf and the hat couldn’t keep him warm.

But the boy wasn’t in a hurry, he enjoyed the snowy scenery and the lights, which lightened up his path.

And as always, Yoongi was next to the boy. He waited outside of Jungkook’s school and when he saw the boy, he trailed after him.

Ever since the events from two years ago, the reaper was on the edge. His schedule for the day was final, so no new names were added to the list during the day, but on that day… Jungkook’s name hadn’t been on the list, but it appeared and now Yoongi was honestly a bit paranoid and didn’t want to leave the boy alone, at all. What if something happened?

Sadly, he couldn’t spend each passing second with Jungkook, because duty calls.

Yoongi was a bit lost in his thoughts and it took him a while to realize that Jungkook had stopped walking, but when the reaper didn’t see the boy by his side, he turned around and saw that Jungkook was just standing and he was staring. Staring at something? No… at someone.

The reaper’s eyes grew big when it hit him - Jungkook was actually staring at him.

H-he’s looking at me? What the hell?

Yoongi looked around, but there was no one else on the street, so… Jungkook was indeed looking at him?

That wasn’t possible, the boy wasn’t supposed to be able to see him, no human was.

With that thought in mind, Yoongi straightened his composure and marched towards Jungkook, with the might to simply pass by the boy.

And he almost did.

Almost.

“Are you really going to ignore me?”

Jungkook’s question made Yoongi freeze completely, the boy was right next to him right now and he was still staring right at Yoongi. It was no mistake, Jeon Jungkook could actually see him and he had just even spoken to him.

“W-wha-?”

Yoongi couldn’t finish his question, because Jungkook smiled at him, beamed even and he looked so frickin happy.

“I’ve wanted to speak with you for so long…”

The boy uttered quietly, as he stepped closer and Yoongi moved back. He had never gotten so close to a human, well - an alive one at least and he was kinda panicking.

“R-really?”

Min Yoongi never stuttered, for no matter what reason and it’s not like it was his first time seeing Jungkook. He’s been by his side for nine years already, but this interaction really took him off guard, because he had never, ever imagined that he would actually speak with the boy.

“Yes… I remember you. I first saw you when I was seven. It was you, right? I’m not mistaken?”

Yoongi clearly remembered that day and the events, which happened back then, but Jungkook actually remembered him? After so many years? After seeing him for just a few seconds?

The Grim Reaper just nodded his head, confirming Jungkook’s suspicion and the boy’s eyes started shining, he once again looked too damn happy. What for anyway?

“I knew it… I just knew it! I’ve always known that there was someone by my side! But after what happened two years ago… from time to time, I started seeing you. At first it was just a shadow, then a silhouette, an unclear, vague one, then you appeared for just a minute or so, but lately I could see you for longer, you were watching me from afar, always, always.”

There was now a lump in Yoongi’s throat. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. What protocol did he have to follow now? He had no fucking clue what to do.

But there was something, which puzzled him. Why wasn’t Jungkook afraid of him? Wasn’t the boy supposed to be freaking out after seeing a damn Grim Reaper?

Yoongi had been following him for years and Jungkook had sensed him, could even see him now and since he remembered him, he must also be aware of the fact that Yoongi’s appearance hadn’t changed at all in the last nine years.

So the boy definitely knew that Yoongi was… no ordinary stalker or something.

“So… you’re happy to see me?”

Yoongi couldn’t help asking, maybe it was a dumb question, but he was confused and Jungkook’s response just stupefied him.

“Of course I’m happy. After all, you’re my guardian angel!”

Oh, shit. Oh, shit, shit, shit.

Jeon Jungkook was so fucking wrong.

“I- I-”

Yoongi was at a loss of words, an angel? He surely was, but an Angel of Death, someone- something, which everyone avoided like the plague. He was no guardian. He had saved Jungkook’s life twice already though, but still…

“I’m Jeon Jungkook. But I think you already know that.”

Jungkook said, as he extended his hand towards Yoongi. There was a cheeky grin on the boy’s face, like he was 100% sure that he was right and well, he was. But the reaper just stared at the offered hand and didn’t move.

Jungkook could see him, that alone was a phenomenon, was it because the boy had been close to death twice already? Could he see Yoongi, because he was actually his savior?

But to see and to touch are two different things. Yoongi couldn’t touch anything from this world and thus nobody could touch him either.

Jungkook was about to get mad, Yoongi could tell, because of the pursed lips and the narrowed eyes, did the boy really want to shake his hand so badly?

“I get it. You’re just a bit shy.”

Jungkook suddenly proclaimed and Yoongi scoffed, him, shy? Pff.

The boy took a step closer and grabbed one of Yoongi’s hands, grabbed, grabbed, grabbed, what the holy hell?

“Nice to meet you.”

This was just insane, how could a human touch him?? For a second, Yoongi even feared that Jungkook might’ve died, but the reaper could clearly hear the boy’s beating heart and it was now beating even faster, out of happiness, excitement, joy?

“N-nice to meet you. I’m Yoongi.” The reaper lamely replied, because he was still shook by this whole situation.

“Yoongi… just Yoongi?” Jungkook questioned, as he tilted his head to the side and the reaper knew that action all too well. The boy always did it whenever he was unsure of something.

“Yoongi the Great.”

The reaper calmly said with a stoic face, because he was great at his job, the best even, but then Jungkook burst into laughter, as he was still holding Yoongi’s hand and the reaper wished the boy wasn’t wearing gloves, because he wanted to feel the warmness, which Jungkook was emitting.

“You’re so funny, Hyung.”

Yoongi clenched his jaw and retreat his hand, because seriously… the disrespect.

“Funny? I’m not funny! And Hyung? Ha! I know I look young, but let me educate you, you incompetent child! I am old! Very, very old! Did you hear me?!”

Yoongi thought that the boy would get intimidated and cower, apologize and run away, but no... Jeon Jungkook was now laughing even harder.

“Oh, Hyung. I’ve never heard anyone brag about being old! You’re jjang!”

Since Yoongi could touch Jungkook, perhaps he should just knock some sense into the boy’s head, because you just can’t talk to a mighty and fearsome Grim Reaper in that way! But Yoongi didn’t do that… instead, he just smiled.

The seconds turned into minutes, the minutes turned into hours, the hours turned into days, the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, the months turned into years.

Now Jungkook was able to see Yoongi all the time and honestly… that was quite disturbing, because the reaper enjoyed keeping an eye on the boy from afar, he was content with just being by Jungkook’s side, keeping him safe, making sure that no harm would reach him.

But ever since their first conversation, Jungkook always looked happy whenever he saw the reaper. The boy waved his hand, even jumped around at times, he grinned and initiated talks.

That led to a big problem though, Jungkook could see Yoongi, that was true, but nobody else saw the reaper, so the boy ended up getting weird looks, because the people around him thought that Jungkook was talking to thin air, aka that he was nuts.

That’s why the reaper warned the boy that he shouldn’t talk to him outside or at least pretend that he was talking on the phone or something, it was a safety measure, to avoid the stares and judgmental looks.

‘Waah, so only I can see you, Hyung?? That’s so cool! Wow, wow!’

That’s what Jungkook had said once Yoongi revealed that very important fact.

They talked about everything and nothing. Jungkook usually filled in the gaps of what Yoongi had missed while he was working and the boy often asked where the other had been, but Yoongi couldn’t share anything, he couldn’t tell the boy what he was doing, he couldn’t tell him that he was… a reaper.

‘Hyung. I’m the only one for you, right? I mean, you’re my guardian angel. Only mine, right?’

Jungkook asked one day, because he was getting worried, Yoongi never told him where he went, so Jungkook just wanted to make sure that Yoongi wasn’t cheating on him with another human.

Guardian angels were supposed to guard only one person at a time, right? And Yoongi was his guardian angel, so he was supposed to be by Jungkook’s side all the time and yet, he often disappeared for hours.

When Jungkook uttered that question, Yoongi was dumbfounded, seriously, what was going though that boy’s head??

The reaper kept quiet for over a minute and then Jungkook started pouting and his gorgeous eyes got glossy, fuck, he wasn’t going to cry, right?

Jungkook was so good at stressing out Yoongi, the reaper had a few crisis each day, because of the boy.

‘What are you saying? Of course you’re the only one for me, Jungkook. There’s no one else. There has never been one before you and there will never be another one, only you.’

Yoongi was surprised by his own reply, but his confession made Jungkook smile and the boy was in high spirits during the whole day.

When Jungkook graduated from high school, Yoongi was there, he wanted to give flowers to the boy, like his grandfather had done, buy him a present, like Jimin had done, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t give anything material to Jungkook.

Later that day when Jungkook was home, Yoongi congratulated him sincerely and apologized for not bringing any gift.

But the boy told him that it was fine, that he didn’t mind, that he didn’t need anything else, as long as the reaper was by his side, but he still made a very odd request.

‘Hyung… um… can you… maybe… uh… pat my head and tell me that I did well… please?’

Yoongi could swear that Jungkook blushed when he asked for that and he was also biting on his bottom lip and he was stealing glances at the reaper and Yoongi had no idea why humans enjoyed praises or petting so much, but he did it. Not because Jungkook had asked him to do it, but because he wanted to and he meant every word, which he said.

‘You did amazing, Jungkook-ah. I’m so proud of you. Congratulations. You’ve grown up so much. I still remember when you were so tiny and short and now the damn puberty turned you into some giant! Yah! Who allowed you to grow so much?? You can’t be taller than me! Agh, that hurts my pride!’

It was fascinating, the course of life… being born, being surrounded by people you love and who love you back, meeting new people, phases starting and coming to an end, human life was quite interesting.

Jungkook was just a boy when Yoongi met him, but that was a long time ago and now Jungkook was an adult, a grown-up and a new chapter of life was on its way.

Jungkook got accepted into the same university, which Jimin enrolled in two years ago and at the end of August, just a few days prior Jungkook’s 19^th birthday, he moved to Seoul.

Biggest mistake ever.

Yoongi blamed it all on Park Jimin, it was all his fault.

Since Jimin had been living in Seoul for two years already, he already had a roommate and Jungkook moved in a single-room at the same dorm.

The two boys hung out a lot, but… but… someone else was now added to the picture - Kim Taehyung, Jimin’s roommate.

And Yoongi didn’t like him, at all.

From Day One, he noted that Taehyung’s eyes unceremoniously lingered on Jungkook’s body and when they shook hands and greeted each other for the first time, Taehyung held onto Jungkook’s hand for far too long.

Taehyung wanted something from Jungkook, Yoongi was damn sure. He just didn’t know what exactly and he also didn’t know why it was bothering him so much.

Although, Taehyung was too touchy and always sat too close to Jungkook, thighs brushing and all that shit, which made Yoongi click his tongue, Taehyung looked far from dangerous.

Jungkook had just made another friend, no big deal. Yoongi wasn’t salty, not at all.

“Hyung, let’s take a picture!”

Jungkook’s suggestion ceased Yoongi’s rambling, he was in the middle of telling the boy about a few of the other cities, which he had lived in, besides Busan and Seoul, but now he was left glaring at the camera in Jungkook’s hands.

It was an instant camera and it was a gift from Taehyung. That punk was into fancy gifts and he bought the camera for Jungkook’s 20^th birthday. He also took him to some dumb restaurant and ordered tons of food.

And Jungkook… that stupid, clueless, little lamb, ate everything and thanked Taehyung numerous times.

What a snake. So sneaky, tch.

Yoongi didn’t want to ruin Jungkook’s night, because the boy looked happy, but the reaper still clenched his fists whenever Taehyung stared at Jungkook. Yoongi really wanted to throw something at Taehyung and the reaper was surprised that so many cuss words existed, he directed all of them at Taehyung, but to no avail.

“Jungkook, I don’t-”

The reaper wanted to refuse taking a picture with the boy - 1) because the camera was from Taheyung and 2) because it impossible to capture Yoongi on a picture, but he couldn’t continue his speech, because Jungkook hooked his arm around his, brought him closer, pointed the camera towards them, smiled widely and pressed ‘click’.

Jungkook was in a wonderful mood after that, he was all giddy and smiley and just looked… eternal. Such a thought had never crossed Yoongi’s mind before, because he knew it far too well - nothing lasts forever.

But in that very moment, he wished he could stop time and he wished that he could stare at Jungkook for an eternity, to spend an eternity with him, just the of them, without any good-looking, but very annoying humans who were trying to hit on Jungkook. Yoongi wasn’t that idiotic or that old, he knew that Taehyung was flirting with Jungkook.

The photo was out in an instant and Jungkook waited a minute for the image of him and Yoongi to actually appear, but… his face fell when the final result was present.

Jungkook was brightly smiling on the picture, but… there was no one beside him, he was alone.

The reaper looked at the photo and sighed. This was a bad idea.

“Sorry, Jungkook… I guess we’ll never be able to take a picture together.”

Yoongi ruffled the boy’s hair and Jungkook tightly clutched the photo in his hand.

“It’s okay, Hyung. It’s still… a memento. Because whenever I look at this photo, I’ll remember how happy I was, with you, because of you, so thank you.”

Perhaps Jeon Jungkook was some sort of a magician, maybe he had some inhuman powers, there was no other explanation. Because how else was Yoongi supposed to explain what he was feeling? He felt like he was melting on the inside, but in a good way, it was hella weird, it was an emotion which the reaper had never felt before or maybe he had… ages and ages ago, when he was still alive.

But this… this was very foreign to him and honestly… it was scary.

It’s been over a year since Jungkook and Taehyung became friends and Yoongi knew it, he just knew that Taehyung would make a move, sooner or later. Much to the reaper’s dismay, it happened much sooner than he expected.

Yoongi had a busy day, there was a fire in a shopping center and a lot of people died, so the reaper had to escort a bunch of humans to the afterlife.

He could only visit Jungkook at night, after 8 pm. He knew that the boy was in his room at the dorm, but when Yoongi walked in, he stumbled upon a very distressed Jungkook who was harshly gnawing on his lips.

“What’s wrong?” The reaper asked and the boy got startled by his voice, because Jungkook didn’t even notice that Yoongi was there.

“Hyung…”

Jungkook toyed with his fingers and he stood up from his bed, he inched towards the reaper and stood in front of him. He was nervous, should he say this? Should he tell Yoongi? He didn’t want to keep it a secret though.

“Taehyung-hyung kissed me today.”

Jungkook’s words were in the form of a whisper, he said it so quietly as if he didn’t want Yoongi to hear him at all.

“Where?”

Yoongi had never used such an icy tone, while speaking to the boy and the atmosphere in the room was intense, you could probably cut through the air with a knife.

“On the lips.”

Jungkook admitted, as he looked at the floor again and something in Yoongi just snapped.

Fuck, Fuck! I knew it! I can’t leave Jungkook alone even for a second! Kim Taehyung, how dare you?! Who do you think you are?!

Rage was surging though Yoongi and he was incapable of calming down, he was furious. But not only at Taehyung, at himself too. Because how could he even have such thoughts? Who was Taehyung? He was a human and he was a decent one at that and who was Yoongi? Just a Grim Reaper who couldn’t do anything for Jungkook and most importantly…

Taehyung was alive and Yoongi… he wasn’t.

That’s why Taehyung had a chance and Yoongi, didn’t.

A chance?

Yoongi felt like ripping his hair off, because of the thought. What chance was he even thinking about??

“Hyung… are you angry?” Jungkook questioned, as he grabbed one of Yoongi’s sleeves and tightly held onto it. “Don’t be angry, please. I told Taehyung-hyung that I don’t like him in that way and he apologized for acting on his own.”

Yoongi lifted the boy’s head up, he loved staring at Jungkook’s face, especially his sweet smile and his lovely doe eyes, the boy had turned into such a beauty over the years that the reaper couldn’t help looking and looking and… oh, how much he wanted to not just look but touch as well.

Yoongi swiped his thumb over Jungkook’s bottom lip, then his upper one, then he did it again and again and again. He acted on impulse, he just wanted to wipe the boy’s lips and Jungkook let him.

“I… I’m not angry, Jungkook. Just… don’t let Taehyung kiss you again.”

It was such a selfish thing to ask for, Yoongi should’ve kept his mouth shut, he was in no position to tell Jungkook what to do, who to kiss or who to date and the boy had every right to refuse listening to him and yet… Jungkook simply nodded his head and smiled, Yoongi’s fingers were still pressed against his lips.

“Okay, Hyung. Okay.”

☠ Part 2 ☠

NF ft. Britt Nicole - Can you hold me?

♫ If lonely is a taste then it's all that I'm tasting.

Do you hear my cry?

Take me from the dark, from the dark...

Put your arms around me, let your love surround me.

If I ain't got you, I ain't got nothing at all.

Can you hold me? Can you hold me in your arms? ♫ 



Sasha Sloan - Dancing With Your Ghost

♫ Yelling at the sky, screaming at the world...

Baby, why'd you go away?

Holding on too tight...

Head up in the clouds, Heaven only knows where you are now.

I gotta move on, but it hurts to try. ♫ 


Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved

♫ I need somebody to heal, somebody to know...

Somebody to have, somebody to hold...

It's easy to say, but it's never the same.

Now the day bleeds into nightfall.

And you're not here to get me through it all. ♫

Jaymes Young - Infinitely

♫ Oh, darling, my soul... you know it aches for yours.

And I'll do anything to be your love or be your sacrifice.

Baby, this love, I'll never let it die.

I'm gonna make this last forever, don't tell me it's impossible.

I’ll love you for infinity… ♫

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

Yoongi knew it was bound to happen soon, the same thing which happened when Jungkook was seven and then fourteen.

The boy’s 21^st birthday passed and then the 14^th anniversary of his parents’ death, then the 7^th anniversary of his grandmother’s death.

Something should’ve happened by now. The reaper was both prepared and not. He frantically opened his notebook, every two minutes just to see if there were any changes for the day, but nothing.

September drew to an end and Jungkook was now in his 3^rd year of university. Jimin and Taehyung graduated months ago, in the summer and were now working full-time, but they still met frequently.

Jungkook and Taehyung’s friendship didn’t suffer too much from that kiss. Taehyung did like Jungkook and he wanted to properly confess, but after the kiss, he knew there was no point, Jungkook had rejected him and Taehyung had an inkling about the reason.

Jungkook often stared into the space, as if he was looking at someone and Taehyung had seen such a genuine and heart-fluttering smile on the younger’s face, that he was convinced that Jungkook was thinking about someone whom he liked. But of course, he didn’t know that Jungkook was actually looking at that very same someone during all those times.

Jungkook was studying in the library at the moment or at least that’s what he pretended to be doing, but he kept gazing at Yoongi and even talked to him despite the fact that they were outside.

“Seriously, Jungkook, shht! The librarian is looking at you like you’re a madman!”

Jungkook looked at the woman behind the big desk in the middle of the room and she definitely looked ready to call the police, Jungkook chuckled and he kept talking to Yoongi anyway. 

When the boy’s tummy demanded food, Jungkook decided to call it a day and he gathered his stuff. He bowed to the librarian on his way out and the poor woman almost pissed her pants when Jungkook said ‘Let’s go, Hyung.’

The boy succeeded in distracting Yoongi and he hadn’t checked his notebook in over two hours, maybe he was wrong and no more accidents were about to happen to Jungkook?

He took the little, black devilish thing out of his pocked anyway, as Jungkook walked ahead of him and he flipped the pages, everything seemed to be fine, everything was-

Seoul, Sungkyunkwan University, 3^rd Floor, 7:34 pm, fall from stairs

Jeon Jungkook: 21 years old

Yoongi looked at his watch and if he was alive, he was totally sure that his heart would’ve stopped beating.

7:33 pm.

There was a minute left, no - probably only seconds!

“Hyung, why are you walking so slo-?”

Jungkook’s question got cut off in the middle, because he was right at the stairs when he turned around to talk to Yoongi, but he didn’t place his left foot at a good spot and he slipped.

Yoongi rushed towards Jungkook, but it was already too late, because the boy was literally flying down already and there were so many stairs, the fall was going to be deadly, without a doubt.

The reaper didn’t think, he just acted on impulse and the instinct to protect, to keep Jungkook safe. So as the boy was flying down, Yoongi followed him, but with a little addition - his black wings.

Even though the reaper did look like a human and he surely was one before he died, he was now a Grim Reaper, an Angel of Death, but an angel nonetheless and he did have wings, but they were more of a punishment than anything - they were big and weighed a lot, they were a symbol of his sins and Yoongi hated them, that’s why he always kept them hidden, but now he spread them and they tore the clothes on his back, as they finally revealed themselves, but they gave him the chance to catch up to Jungkook and catch him.

The boy had closed his eyes, he was waiting for the fall to happen, but Yoongi wrapped his arms and wings around Jungkook’s body, he tried to create some sort of a shield, which would protect the boy and his plan was actually successful.

They did fall, badly and it probably hurt, but Yoongi couldn’t feel any pain. There were black feathers in the air and Jungkook slowly pried his eyelids open.

The reaper was still holding onto the boy and he was in the middle of inspecting Jungkook for any injuries and he forgot about everything else, he forgot about his wings… and making them disappear did take some time, but it was already too late anyway, but Jungkook had already seen them and he was staring at them with wide eyes.

“Are you hurt? Jungkook? Answer me, please! Are you hurt anywhere?!”

The boy did not reply and Yoongi was seriously starting to get worried, he was pretty sure that his wings managed to shield Jungkook just in time and yet… why wasn’t he saying anything?

Jungkook just kept staring at the marvelous wings on Yoongi’s back and he couldn’t even properly comprehend the fact that he could’ve died just now, all he could do was gaze at the wings until he ultimately reached out and touched them.

The reaper got surprised due to the action, nobody had ever touched his wings before, no human had actually seen them, only a few other reapers and of course they never initiated any contact.

“So beautiful… Hyung… your wings are gorgeous…”

Jungkook wished he could take a picture, he wished he could see those stunning wings every single day, but something told him that Yoongi didn’t fancy them much, because he hid them until now and it looked like he felt uncomfortable now that he had revealed them.

“What are you saying? They are ugly and they are… black… they don’t belong to an angel, Jungkook. They are-”

“Yours. They are yours and I love them.”

Jungkook cut in, as he ran his hands through the feathers, they were so soft and silky and lovely. There was fascination in the boy’s eyes and his words made Yoongi’s non-existent heart almost thump, but that was far from possible, but now that the cat was out of the bag, the reaper wanted to fully come clean, he didn’t want to lie anymore.

“I’m not your guardian angel, Jungkook. I am a Grim Reaper and 14 years ago when we first met… I was there to lead you to the afterlife…”

Jungkook looked at Yoongi and the reaper felt so small and insignificant, he could even say that he actually felt scared, scared that Jungkook might hate him now, because he was no pure creature and hid the truth and-

“All I know is that you saved my life, Hyung. Three times already and you are always by side, you care for me and you help me, you protect me. I don’t care if your wings are white or black or what other names are used to describe you. You’re my guardian angel, you’re my Yoongi-hyung and nothing can change that, so thank you for always being next to me.”

Yoongi had always been ashamed of his wings, of his identity, because he was a sinner, he was someone who couldn’t be forgiven, but Jungkook was giving him such a genuine and big smile, as he was now clutching onto Yoongi’s black attire and the reaper just knew that the boy was saying what he truly felt and the reaper couldn’t be more grateful.

“No, I thank you, Jungkook. Thank you for being alive.”

They were on the floor, at the bottom of the stairs, pretty much tangled into each other, because of the fall that couldn’t be avoided, but at least had no fatal result and Yoongi felt very relived and glad that was able to protect the boy, so he brought him in for a hug, he wanted to feel Jungkook’s warmth, to feel his heartbeat, to once again make sure he was alive.

Jungkook tightly hugged the reaper too and closed his eyes, he breathed in and out and tried to focus on the reaper’s presence, on the fact that he was so close, but something did make an impression… Yoongi’s body was ice-cold and Jungkook was about to ask what was wrong, because that wasn’t normal, but the question died in his throat when his fingers brushed against the reaper’s black wings.

Right… Hyung is not like me… he’s… Yoongi-hyung is already dead.

Yoongi did the same thing he did 7 and 14 years ago - he got rid of the page with Jungkook’s name on it, but the aftermath was to be expected, because Death wanted to take its victim and this time, it took away Jungkook’s only and closest relative - his grandfather.

And Jungkook was once again heart-broken and devastated. This time it lasted longer. The crying, the aching heart, the pain, it was worse than before, because this time it seemed like the boy had caught on - he knew that this was happening, because of him. Because he was supposed to die, but he didn’t, just like 14 years ago when he lost his parents, just like 7 years ago when his grandmother took his place.

Yoongi thought that with the discovery of his identity, Jungkook would be curious, the reaper thought that the boy would want to know more about the afterlife, about death itself, but he didn’t, he said nothing, he just wanted to know one thing only: if his grandfather had peacefully went to the afterlife, Yoongi told him that he did and that was it.

There were many nights on which Jungkook just stayed up curled in a sitting position on his bed and stared at the wall or outside of the window and Yoongi was always there, but neither of them initiated a talk, being in each other’s company was enough, it was comforting, for Jungkook, but it looked like every time he lost someone dear to him, a part of him died too and it hurt incredibly much to see him like that - mourning, crying, being so lifeless when he was still… alive.

Even though, Jungkook slowly got over things as time passed, he did change, he became a little bit more reserved and didn’t try to make new friends or at least close ones, because he started having that constant fear that something would always happen to his most dear people. But since he didn’t go out very often and mostly stayed at home, he ended up spending even more time with Yoongi.

The reaper was quite sarcastic, but he didn’t really know how to crack jokes, he did try his best though, to say silly and stupid things, which would make Jungkook laugh, because in those sacred moments, Yoongi knew that he had managed to make the boy forgot about the cruel reality, at least for a while.

When Jungkook graduated from university and had to start yet another phase of his life, he did meet a lot of new people at his workplace. He avoided gatherings at first, but Yoongi scolded him harshly, there was a whole lecture, which could pretty much be entitled ‘Don’t waste your time and life, you only live once after all.’, the reaper was surprisingly good at nagging and thankfully, Jungkook listened to his advices and spent less time at home, he interacted more with people and became more cheerful.

Once the reaper got asked quite an embarrassing question by the boy and for once, Yoongi didn’t know what to say.

“Hyung, I’ve been thinking about this lately, but when I couldn’t see you, you were still around me, most of the time, right?”

Yoongi wasn’t quite sure where the question came from, because the boy had just gotten back home from work and he was pretty tired. He rented a small apartment once he graduated and although the place wasn’t big, it was more than enough for one person.

“Yeah, that’s right. I left your side only when… well, when I had to do my work.”

After Yoongi’s reply, a very strange glint appeared in the boy’s eyes, he started grinning and cackling and then he hugged his own body protectively.

“So, does that mean that you’ve watched me as I changed my clothes? Did you… accompany me in the shower as well?”

“I didn’t- I-!”

Yoongi was at a loss of words, mostly because there was a knowing look on the boy’s face and he even dared to smirk when he took off his coat and threw it on the couch. Jungkook was waiting to hear a full answer and the reaper didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t exactly want to admit the truth either, so he went for a safer option, which was something in between.

“I’ve never followed you in the shower!”

It was the truth, but there was no need to address the other part of Jungkook’s question and besides, Yoongi never really stared too much, whenever the boy got rid of his top, the reaper looked away, he didn’t want to invade Jungkook’s privacy.

“Oooh, so that means you’ve seen me change my clothes... but ever since I began seeing you properly, you’ve never been around during such moments, perhaps you miss those times?”

Yoongi was about to smack the boy’s head, but then Jungkook unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt, as if to make a show, so the reaper hastily grabbed his hands to stop him. Once he stopped closer though, he got a whiff of the boy and realized why he was acting so boldly and why he was in the mood for shortening Yoongi’s life, which was quite ironic, because Yoongi was already dead.

“Are you drunk? Didn’t you come here directly from work??”

Yoongi had been waiting by the door for about five minutes before the boy appeared, the reaper had an appointment before that and he wanted to rush it and come quicker, but he didn’t want to do a poor job, so he was surprised when Jungkook was the one who was late.

“I’m not drunk, Hyung. Just a little tipsyyy.”

Jungkook giggled and he let his head fall on the reaper’s chest. He grabbed the front of Yoongi’s black, satin shirt and pulled him closer.

“You get clingy when you drink.”

Yoongi commented, as the boy wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him.

“I don’t… just with you, Hyung… I don’t cling to anyone else, ever.”

The reaper knew he shouldn’t be selfish and that he shouldn’t let himself be excited and happy over such words, but he couldn’t help holding Jungkook in his arms and strangely… that made him feel alive.

Yoongi faced another life-crisis on Jungkook’s 25^th birthday.

“Hyung, today is a big day.”

Jungkook cheerfully announced a few minutes after waking up. Yoongi had places to be and people to escort, but he wanted to congratulate Jungkook first thing in the morning.

“Yes, it’s true. Congrats for turning 25, you’re half-way to fifty now. Feel old yet?”

“Hyung! Don’t be mean!”

Jungkook pushed the reaper aside, as he got up, but then he quickly dived in for a hug.

“Well, I am still much older than you.”

Jungkook nodded his head and hummed in agreement. He let go of the older and went to the bathroom, he had to get ready for work, but his boss had allowed him to come at a later hour today, so he could rest longer on his birthday. Jungkook woke up early as usual though, but at least now he could have breakfast and relax in the reaper’s presence.

Yoongi was waiting in the kitchen and he smiled when Jungkook emerged from his room, wearing ripped light-blue jeans and an oversized black sweatshirt.

“Hyung, I was going to wait until tonight, but I can’t do it after all. Can I have my present now??”

Yoongi froze completely and he stared at the boy in shock. A present?? He didn’t really prepare anything, because he couldn’t give anything to the younger. What now?? What should he do??

“Hyung, there’s no need to panic.” Jungkook laughed, as he stepped closer and took in the reaper’s alarmed expression. “I want something simple, Hyung. Can you… show me your wings again?”

It’s been four years since that accident, four years since Jungkook found out Yoongi’s secret, four years since he first and lastly saw the reaper’s wings. He wanted to see them again? Could that even be counted as some sort of a birthday gift?

“If you don’t want to do it, I won’t force you, Hyung. I just really want to see them…”

Jungkook’s face fell and it was his day, he had to be all smiles and laughs, it’s not like Yoongi didn’t want to show the boy his wings again, he just didn’t think of them as something special, but if that was Jungkook’s wish, of course he was going to do it.

“No, I don’t mind. Just… turn around for a bit.”

Jungkook grinned happily and did as told. The seconds felt like hours, he heard rustling of clothes and something which sounded like flapping of wings. The excitement in him grew, he was really going to see them again! Maybe he should’ve asked earlier?

“Okay, you can look now.”

Jungkook faced Yoongi again and his whole face lit up when he saw the reaper’s mesmerizing and beautiful wings. The boy didn’t ask and just started touching the wings, carefully, gently. They were just like he remembered them, even more captivating actually. Why did the reaper always keep them hidden? They were such a gem.

“Thank you, Hyung. This is honestly the best gift in the world!”

Jungkook continued caressing the wings and he glanced at the older. He had a very reserved and stoic expression on his face, it made the boy laugh.

“Hyung, are you ticklish?”

“I am not. Don’t you dare to-!”

Yoongi couldn’t finish his sentence, because the boy started filling up his wings and the reaper jolted when Jungkook touched certain spots. Well, fucking hell, maybe he was ticklish.

“Yah! Stop that! I show you my stupid wings and that’s how you repay me??” Yoongi questioned, as he grabbed Jungkook’s hands and the boy made a face.

“They are not stupid, Hyung! You are stupid! Don’t say bad things about your wings!”

Jungkook looked like he could start stomping his feet in anger any second now, he really liked those damn wings.

“Ugh… fine. Touch them as much as you want.”

The reaper sighed deeply and gave in. He released Jungkook’s wrists, but the boy didn’t reach towards the wings again and Yoongi was about to scoff and ask ‘What? Had enough of them already?’, but he couldn’t utter a single word, because Jungkook grabbed his face.

The boy just stared at the reaper for a while, as if he was contemplating, wondering if he should do what he wanted to, but Jungkook decided to follow his heart, so he leaned in and pressed his lips against Yoongi’s.

The reaper’s eyes widened and he didn’t react in any way, even when Jungkook pulled back and looked at him with worried eyes.

“You… you kissed me…”

Yoongi managed to mumble a whole minute later and Jungkook nervously gulped down.

“I did… I’ve wanted to do it for many years.”

Jungkook shyly confessed, as he nibbled on his bottom lip and Yoongi almost whispered ‘Me too.’, but instead he took hold of the boy’s face as well and now Jungkook was the surprised one.

“Well, you should’ve kissed me for a little longer then.”

Yoongi said, as he tenderly kissed Jungkook. The boy’s breath hitched when their lips touched and the reaper smiled.

This was so damn wrong, they shouldn’t be doing this, but both of them had been holding back for years, wanting, craving, not having the guts to actually do something, but Yoongi didn’t care anymore. He wanted to kiss Jungkook, so he did and he loved how the boy sighed in content, how he wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s neck, how he separated his lips and deepened the kiss, because that showed Jungkook wanted this as much as Yoongi did.

Rules and all that be damned, Yoongi loved Jungkook, as insane as that sounded.

For Yoongi, being with Jungkook was the definition of euphoria.

The reaper became even more egoistic after that, because once he had had a taste of what he had been longing for, for so many years, it was impossible to let go. Most of Jungkook’s friends were in relationships, some were even married now and had children and it was only natural for Jungkook to do the same, to look for a partner and to be happy, but he didn’t. He said it numerous times - that he was already happy and that he didn’t need anyone else besides Yoongi.

The reaper wasn’t a mortal, he was only like a soul, a ghost himself, so whenever he had to escort someone who had died in his home, Yoongi simply walked through the walls, it wasn’t something unusual or odd for him, but now, he could touch not only Jungkook, but items which were connected to him as well - everything in the boy’s apartment, the clothes, the furniture, the utensils.

Yoongi thought of that as some sort of a sign, as destiny’s approval, why else would he be able to touch everything related to Jungkook? Why else would the boy be able to see him in the first place?

Perhaps, harboring feelings for each other wasn’t such a big crime and who could judge them anyway?

The reaper still felt bad at times though, he didn’t even know if he could label what he and Jungkook had, as a relationship. The boy couldn’t introduce him to anyone, he couldn’t tell anyone about Yoongi, unless he actually wanted to be considered as a madman and to be locked up somewhere.

But Jungkook never complained, he always smiled whenever he saw Yoongi, hugged him, kissed him, kept him as close as possible, as if he was afraid that the reaper might disappear.

So on the rare nights during which Yoongi had no one to escort, Jungkook demanded that they should sleep together, so he could cling onto the reaper all night long, just like tonight. 

“Hyung, are you sure you don’t want to take off your coat?”

“No, I don’t want to. My coat is a part of me, I don’t want to part with it.”

“But, Hyung… I can warm you up just fine and we’re covered with a blanket too... you don’t really need it.”

Jungkook chuckled when he looked up and noted the reaper’s grim expression.

“I ain’t taking it off, Jungkook. I’m not cold neither hot, you know that. Besides, what? Warm me up? You’re hugging me so tightly that if I were alive, you would’ve suffocated me by now.”

It was a joke and usually, Jungkook would’ve accepted it as such and would’ve laughed it off, but just like Yoongi was deeply thinking about their ‘relationship’, so was Jungkook and no matter how happy the boy was, he wanted more, he desperately needed it. Thinking about the future was something, which Jungkook avoided with all his might, he solely focused on the present, on what he had, on the fact that Yoongi was here now, even if he was a Grim Reaper, even if he was already dead, he was here and they could touch, hold, love each other and it was real, more real than anything else in Jungkook’s life, but it still hurt, to face the reality, it was better to live in a dream, in a fantasy where nothing could ever go wrong.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

Yoongi apologized, but Jungkook forced on a smile and the reaper knew those all too well. He didn’t want the boy to feel insecure or sad and unhappy, but there were some things, which Yoongi couldn’t change no matter how much he wanted to.

He wished he had met Jungkook under other circumstances, not because he had to lead him to the fucking afterlife. Yoongi wished he had met Jungkook while he was still alive, because things would’ve been much more different than now.

“It’s okay, Hyung. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

Jungkook squeezed Yoongi’s body and snuggled even closer to him, lately, he couldn’t get enough of the physical contact, he missed the reaper every time they were apart, that’s why Jungkook always pushed the bad thoughts at the back of his mind when he was with Yoongi, because those were his happiest moments and he didn’t want anything else to overshadow them.

The reaper left a kiss on Jungkook’s forehead and this time the boy smiled for real.

“You should fall asleep now. It’s late.” Yoongi said, but Jungkook shook his head.

“I don’t want to. You won’t be here in the morning. So I want to stay awake for as long as I can.”

Jungkook tried to blink the sleep away, but his eyelids grew heavier and his eyes closed a few times, but then he opened them again, widely and he stared at the reaper, refusing to fall asleep.

Yoongi littered kisses all over Jungkook’s face and the boy giggled. Yoongi paused at Jungkook’s lips, but ultimately closed the remaining distance between their faces, again and again until he felt how the boy went limp in his hold and his breath evened out.

Aigo, Jungkook-ah… now I have to kiss you to sleep every night.

The time you spend with your loved ones passes more quickly and time just flew by, years filled with much joy and constant happiness.

Yoongi really wished he could stop time, so he could always be by Jungkook’s side, forever and ever, but sadly he had no such powers, no one did.

But even though the reaper was now living in a bliss, he never let his guard down, he was always on alert especially on Jungkook’s birthdays, but he knew when he should be the most careful.

After Jungkook’s 28^th birthday, followed the three anniversaries, which saddened the boy beyond words.

21 years since Jungkook’s parents died, 14 years since his grandmother passed away, 7 years since his grandfather also left the world.

Not knowing when or what was going to happen was absolutely dreadful, but Yoongi was sure that something was eventually going to occur.

So he checked his notebook each minute, even when he was escorting someone, even when he was with Jungkook, he subtly took it out and quickly scanned the pages for any changes, but there was nothing, which was good, it truly was, but the reaper was distressed, especially today, he felt agitated throughout the whole day and he couldn’t even check up on Jungkook, because his work gave him no break.

At least, he was now done for the day and he was on his way to the boy’s apartment. Jungkook had finished work a while ago, so he was probably waiting for the bus, the reaper was going to arrive earlier than him and he hoped it would be a nice surprise for the boy.

Yoongi wondered if Jungkook would throw himself at him once he saw him, the boy often did that nowadays. Just thinking about it, made the reaper smile widely.

He decided to check his notebook one more time, even though he had done it barely a minute ago and he almost dropped it, because what was written there wasn’t possible.

Seoul, Dongdaemun-gu, Jangan-dong, Jangan-ro 14-gil, 7:15 pm, car accident

Jeon Jungkook - 28 years old

It wasn’t possible, because Yoongi really did look at his notebook like 30 seconds ago and nothing like that was written and it wasn’t possible, because when the reaper looked at his watch, it showed something absurd.

7:17 pm.

What kind of twisted joke was that? Two minutes… Jungkook had died two minutes ago? No, no, no, that was out of question. Yoongi made sure to look at his notebook a million times a day and this wasn’t-

He started running, he had to get there as soon as possible. He wasn’t far away, he could get there in time, there was some sort of a mistake. There was something wrong with that shitty notebook, it was playing with Yoongi.

The reaper had never been in so much hurry, but his legs seemed to know how desperate he was, so he arrived at the scene in less than ten minutes and the place was a mess. There were tons of people, the traffic was stopped, there were cars, sirens, ambulances, police cars, something had happened, something had fucking happened.

Yoongi’s legs started shaking, he wanted to move closer, but it was like he was glued to the ground, he could only watch, as people rushed here and there.

“I knew you would come.”

Yoongi almost jumped in surprise, he looked to his left and saw a fellow reaper next to him.

“Namjoon… what happened here?”

“A drunk driver crashed into the bus stop. There are a lot of schools around here and many people had just finished work. We’ll be here for a while, dealing with this.”

Yoongi clenched his fists and he tried to calm down, because he couldn’t see much except the chaos, he did see some wounded people, but there were probably others, injured more, deadly even, was… was Jungkook among them??

“H-how… how many?” Yoongi hated how his voice wavered, his eyes were frantically looking at everything and everyone, trying to spot Jungkook.

“Eight dead, including the driver. Nine were supposed to die tonight though.”

Yoongi breathed out in relief. So one person managed to survive, it was Jungkook, it had to be.

Yoongi’s tiny, little hope died when some of the crowd moved away and he saw some of the corpses on the ground and one of the people who were covered with a white sheet, was someone whom Yoongi knew. He could tell just by the hand that was peaking beneath the sheet - it belonged to Jungkook.

“No, no, no, that’s not true!”

Yoongi tried to have a better look, to even move his feet, but the other reaper gripped his arm.

“He’s dead, Yoongi. That boy… he saved a pregnant woman. He saved two lives and gave his own. He was a good hum-”

“Let go of me, you fucking bastard! He’s not dead!!! He’s not dead!!!”

“If not today, he was going to die sooner than later, Yoongi. He was already dying, he’s been between life and death for years.”

Yoongi trashed in the other’s hold, he was in no mood to listen to nonsense and he had to go to Jungkook, he was okay, nothing had happened to him!

“Shut up! Don’t waste my time! Go do your job! Isn’t that what you’re here for?? Go escort some poor souls! Fuck, let go!”

“You know it’s true, Yoongi. You know it’s not possible for someone who’s alive to see us, touch us, but that boy could see you, because you saved his life, but he could also touch you, because each time you saved his life a part of his soul died. The more time passed, the worse his condition became, that’s why, as the years passed, you were able to touch things, which belonged to him. There was no way you could’ve protected him for much longer. Do you think we didn’t know that you ripped the pages from your notebook? That changed nothing, Yoongi. We all knew about him and when you weren’t around, we crawled in the shadows and followed him, we were waiting for his name to appear in our notebooks, but he was your responsibility, you were the one meant to escort him, but no longer. The pregnant woman was on Seokjin’s list, so he’s going to take over now. He’s going to escort Jeon Jungkook.”

“Enough of this crap!”

Yoongi pushed the other reaper away and ran towards the body he had seen, there were other reapers around, he paid them no heed, he just continued straight ahead and stopped in front of the hand, which unmistakably looked like Jungkook’s.

Yoongi knelt down and reached out with trembling hands, it was cold… that hand was so cold. The person lying on the ground was dead. But the reaper didn’t lift the sheet, because he could also see a part of the person’s clothes, that jacket was Jungkook’s, he walked out wearing it this morning. It was him, it really was Jungkook.

Yoongi clutched onto the hand like a dying man, how, why, when, why, why, why?? He could’ve saved him, he could’ve saved him! This wasn’t supposed to happen! Jungkook was-

“Hyung.”

It was Jungkook, so Yoongi instantly got up and turned towards the source of the voice. The boy was standing there amidst all the ruckus and the noise and the reaper got a bit too happy, a way too early, but Jungkook was wearing those same clothes and they were covered in blood, he looked exactly like he did, moments before he died.

When Yoongi saw the tears in the boy’s eyes, he felt like his whole being broke in two.

“Oh, Jungkook…”

The said boy started crying hard and Yoongi pulled him into a hug, they had never held each other so tightly and this was usually one of the best feelings ever, but now it hurt, it hurt a lot, because both of them knew it would be the last time they would ever hold each other like this.

“I’m sorry, Hyung. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Yoongi’s hold around the boy tightened even more, they were impossibly close to each other and also impossibly close to the end.

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything bad, you did nothing wrong.”

Jungkook had buried his face in the reaper’s chest, but now he looked up and the tears couldn’t stop falling from his eyes. Yoongi had seen the boy cry before, many times, but never like this.

“But I’m going to leave you all alone, Hyung. What are you going to do?? I don’t want to leave you, Hyung. I want to stay with you, I want to be with you.”

“Why are you always like this, Jungkook?? You have to worry about yourself! Not others! Not now!”

Yoongi was angry, he wanted to murder someone, something, anything, he had to take out this anger on something, he felt like his head might explode.

“How can I not worry about you, Hyung? When you are crying like this…”

Jungkook wiped the reaper’s cheeks and cried even harder, Yoongi hadn’t realized that he was weeping like all those people he had seen, those who had lost someone they loved.

“I’m honestly a bit scared, Hyung…”

“Don’t be, you’re… you’re going to a better place now. Everything is going to be okay.” Yoongi tried to reassure the boy, because he wanted Jungkook to go in peace, even though he despised the thought of letting the boy go anywhere at all.

“How can it be better when you won’t be there?”

Yoongi didn’t know what to say to that, he had no fuckin clue what to say or do, because what in the world was he supposed to do once Jungkook left?? From the corner of his eyes, Yoongi saw that Seokjin was headed towards them, all other souls had probably been escorted already or were being escorted and Yoongi knew that he should be thankful to the other reaper for giving him some time to say goodbye, but he wished Seokjin just disappeared into thin air.

“It’s going to be okay, Jungkook. You are going to be okay, I am going to be okay too.” Yoongi lied and that’s the last thing he wanted to do in this situation, but white lies existed for a reason.

“I love you, Hyung. I love you so much. I’ve always loved you. I never said it, but I hope you felt it, because I certainly did, I know you loved me too, so thank you.”

Yoongi never gathered the courage to say those three precious words to Jungkook while he was awake, but ever since their first kiss, the reaper did tell the boy how he felt, every night when Jungkook was sleeping. Those feelings were something, which was abnormal, not possible, but they existed and they were Yoongi’s biggest treasure, alongside with Jungkook.

“I know, I know. I love you too, so so much.”

It was too late now, but he wanted to say it, he wanted to let Jungkook know, because sometimes actions were not enough, words were needed as well. Yoongi sealed his confession with a kiss and after the bare brush of lips, Jungkook was pulled away from him.

“He has to leave now, Yoongi. He can’t stay any longer.”

Yoongi’s taller colleague declared, but neither Jungkook nor Yoongi were willing to let go of each other, so they held onto each other’s hands before Namjoon came as well and held Yoongi in place.

“Let him go, Yoongi.”

The newcomer said and Jungkook could see how conflicted Yoongi was, it was so hard to let go and this was hurting the reaper, Jungkook didn’t want Yoongi’s last memories of him to be a crying boy who was heartbroken and sad, he wanted their last moments to be filled with smiles and their love for each other.

So Jungkook smiled at the older, as he let go of his hand.

The boy mouthed one last ‘I love you.’ before he let himself be led away and Yoongi tried to go after him, but he couldn’t budge, because Namjoon was preventing him from moving.

“Wait, wait, don’t take him away yet! Please, please! Just- just…”

Yoongi fell on his knees and the air just wasn’t enough, he didn’t need it to begin with, but he really felt like he couldn’t breathe, like someone was holding his throat and was restricting him from taking in a new breath. His head was pounding and the world was spinning and there was a hollow emptiness in his chest and he couldn’t stop crying.

Life was just like that - in one moment you’re here and in the next… you’re gone.

And Jungkook was gone, forever.

Yoongi had heard humans say that: ‘Time stops ticking when your loved one dies.’ and he thought they were just saying that, but it turned out to be nothing but the truth.

Life was going on, as a reaper, Yoongi was obligated to do his job, so he did it, but nothing was the same anymore. Now, whenever he saw someone’s sorrow and grief after losing a loved one, he could no longer stay unaffected, he felt sympathy, because he was in the same boat as all those people.

They were alive, but not quite. Death was not the worst thing that could happen to someone, but what the death of a certain person could cause… the loss could be devastating, it could break you beyond repair.

Yoongi was already dead, but now he felt more dead than ever. Every day was a painful one and the silly sayings that time could heal, were complete crap.

Yoongi often stared at the sky. He focused on a specific star and told himself that it was Jungkook, shining brightly, smiling happily, watching over him. It was a foolish thing to believe in, but it was everything Yoongi had.

“There’s no need to look that miserable, you know? I can erase your memories.”

Namjoon offered, not because he cared, but because a distracted reaper meant more work for the others, it meant doing the job poorly and the only purpose of Grim Reapers was to escort people to the afterlife, nothing else.

“Fuck off.”

That’s the only thing, which Yoongi spat before the other reaper went his way.

Yoongi didn’t want to forget, that’s the last thing he wanted. The wonderful memories he had created with Jungkook were now just a memory and he was going to carry them with him for an eternity.  

Yoongi tore his eyes way from the stars and took out something from his pocket. It was very dear to him - the picture, which Jungkook had tried to take with him, the picture on which Jungkook was smiling in a dazzling way.

It took Yoongi days and days to actually find it, Jungkook must’ve put it in his pocket when they were parting, which meant that the boy always kept it with him when he was alive, because he wanted to leave a part of himself to the reaper.

Yoongi turned around the picture and read the short message on the back for the nth time.

 ‘I love you, Yoongi-hyung. Thank you for being a part of my life. I’ll never forget you, so please… never forget me either.’

It pained Yoongi to know that Jungkook had written that with the thought that they might get separated one day, that they might not have the chance to say goodbye. But that short message also gave him a lot of strength, because it was a reminder of what they had and what they lost.

I love you too, Jungkook-ah. I always will. I’ll love you for infinity.

“Don’t cry, because it’s over. Smile, because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss