Chapter Text
Sho knew he would always remember that feeling he experienced when he read Nino's message of that day. When he opened it, he had only expected the usual, like updates about Nino's life, some questions regarding current books and movies they both read or watched, something like that. Sho had expected anything but the actual message he found when he opened his LINE chat this evening after work.
He had just made himself comfortable on top of his bed after pushing away some half-read books, still in his by now half messy working clothes, but already when he read the first line, he was sitting back up straight, his heart pounding.
He blinked. Then he read Nino's message again.
“Hey, hope your workday went smoothly and you didn't work overtime for too long again! *insert strict face* BTW, remember that time when you told me you'd consider moving to Tokyo for a few years, once in your life? Kazamapon is moving out of our share house, soon, so basically, there'll be an empty room here and I thought you might be interested. For now, I recommended you to my roommates, so let me know what you think about it.”
It sounded so casual and sober, that Sho first thought it was a joke. So he read Nino's message a third time. Nino indeed did have a strange sense of humour sometimes, but he could also be a very straight forward guy who didn't beat too much around the bush – contrary to Sho – so maybe, he wasn't joking, at least.
“Are you being serious?” Sho texted back, trying to fight the urge of sending a ton of surprised-faced LINE stickers, as he knew that Nino didn't like getting spammed with them that much. Then, he added another line. “Only 1,5 h overtime today. Plus, I have Saturday off, tomorrow!”
His message was immediately read, as the “read” notice next to his message told him, and shortly after, the blinking dots signalled that Nino was typing a reply.
“Still too long.”
Sho smiled. Nino often sounded very simple or pragmatic, but he knew that this was still Nino's way to show concern towards his friends.
“Facetime me?” read Nino's next line. This one really surprised Sho. He swallowed, his heart instantly beating faster.
He didn't mind phone calls at all, but it was very rare for Nino to prefer it over texting. Sho had learned that much pretty fast about the other man. However, some very seldom times, for some reason, they hang out on face time for a good twenty minutes, or even longer. It was like, once you had Ninomiya Kazunari – probably of the world's biggest introverts and phone call haters – on the line, it was him who didn't let you go that easily anymore. Sho really enjoyed those seldom occasions of seeing his friend's face in real time, especially knowing that it was something special, but it also made him unexpectedly nervous, every time. But apparently, this was one of the situations that Nino deemed to be worth an actual call, other situations being Sho's birthday or that time when he got promoted to an assistant branch manager or something like that. Some special occasion, so to say. Was he being that serious about the offer of a room in his Tokyo share house?
Sho quickly opened the camera app on his phone and switched to selfie mode, to briefly check his appearance. He looked a bit ruffled, his dark reddish-brown hair a little bit on ends in the back from pulling the apron, which was part of his working uniform, over his head before leaving the book shop. Running his hands over it didn't really help – it was rather a time for washing his hair again, but there was no time for that now – so he gave up on that. However, he at least tried to flatten out the fold in the collar of his white shirt a little bit.
“Sho? Still there?” Another message of Nino popped up on the screen, and so Sho stopped his action and switched to face time, immediately calling in on Nino.
His friend's face popped up just a second later, and Sho could see right away that Nino, who was dressed in a plain white shirt and probably his usual comfy loungewear pants, already had showered, which didn't mean though, that his raven black, still damp hair was any more in place than Sho's – to the contrary. But actually, Sho didn't mind, no, he rather liked it. A lot, actually. Because hell yes, Nino looked damned good when he came out of the shower, Sho thought, no, in fact, he always looked so damned good, that it wasn't good for Sho's heart anymore. And he only saw him on screens, for 99 % of the time, how would it be to see him in real life all the time?! Unimaginable! Sho sighed, immediately hoping, Nino hadn't heard it and tried to play his nervousness over with a hopefully not too awkward smile. He also hoped that he wasn't blushing and tried his best to start the conversation properly.
“Hi,” Sho said, very well articulated, as he verbally slapped himself sarcastically just after speaking.
“Hey,” Nino answered the greeting, smiling widely while trying to get comfy on top of his bed, as Sho could see in the slim frame of his phone.
The task was being made a bit more difficult by two furballs tapsing around Nino, one in white, that immediately took the chance to place itself between Nino's open arms in front of him, while the other, grey one, started to climb on him.
“Hey Yuki-chan, Sora-chan,” Sho giggled, greeting the two cats.
Nino slightly rolled his eyes but didn't move, so that the two cats that were living with him and his friends in the share house, could make themselves comfortable. Sho couldn't help but giggle. He knew how attached those cats were, especially to Nino, apparently, when Aiba and Jun were out of the house, and it was always adorable to see Nino trying to act annoyed by them, although Sho was pretty sure, that once they would end the call, Nino would scratch the cats' fur and talk to them in a sweet voice and just love them, because actually, he adored those animals. He would never admit it, but the way how Nino let them do whatever they wanted, and the way he absentmindedly brushed his hand over their fur, made it clear. Nino was way more caring than he wanted others to know, and this was only one reason why the small built, but utterly cute man, never failed to make Sho smile.
“So,” Nino continued after the two furballs had found their spot. He raised an eyebrow, his smile turning into a cheeky grin directed at Sho, “You're still working your ass off for that evil company, instead of focussing on your online career, as you were talking big about last time.”
“It's not an evil company,” Sho chuckled. “You know I enjoy working at the book store. We're just a little shorthanded. Also, it can't be helped, I do have more responsibilities now and... I still have to pay my rent, of course,” he continued, hinting a roll of his eyes.
“You might have to pay less rent if you were part of our share house,” was Nino's reply, straight to the point.
Sho's heart started beating faster once again, and he unintentionally pulled his lower lip between his teeth, slightly biting down on the soft flesh. He wanted to counter with something like “But isn't Tokyo more expensive than living up here in a middle-sized town in Hokkaido?” but trust Nino to already know his thoughts.
“You can live off instant ramen for a start,” the young man said, his eyes darting sideways. “It's cheap and delicious, I tried it!”
Sho snorted, gladly picking up the tone of Nino's light-hearted conversation. He knew, his friend was joking, half of it, at least, but decided to jump on it. “I don't want to hear you talking about your unhealthy diet!” he said, slightly mocking his friend.
“Then come here and cook for me,” said friend grinned at him, challenging.
Pouting, Sho replied, “You know I can't cook.”
There was a short pause, during which Nino averted his eyes. Sho wasn't sure, if the other man was distracted by something lying next to him on top of the bed, or if he was simply trying to avoid direct eye contact, but Nino seemed a little nervous, too. Perhaps... perhaps he really wanted Sho to move to Tokyo.
Indeed, it had not been the first time they had been talking about this topic. There had been times when Sho had lamented way more about being “locked up” in the north of Japan, as he did nowadays, longing for the adventure called “Tokyo”, and he hadn't seen his friend in real life for a very long time. In this respect, long-distance friendships sucked. However, with all of his family and friends located up here, he had pushed the thought of the possibility to move away to become reality further and further away. Maybe he even had stopped believing that it could actually happen.
“I dare to point out that I never had the chance to actually try your proclaimed cooking disasters, so I can't judge,” Nino chuckled before making another short pause. Eventually, he continued speaking, his voice low, and warm to Sho's ears. It was almost a whisper, slightly blocked by the pillow underneath Nino's chin. “Maybe I don't care if you can't cook. Just come here. It would be a chance. Don't you like the idea?”
Sho swallowed hard. He was glad Nino wasn't looking straight at him at this very moment because he was pretty sure that now, he was definitely blushing. If he could still just blame it onto the lighting of his room, perhaps?
“I mean, just think about it,” Nino continued, looking back at the facetime window on his own phone screen. “How cool would it be to live in Tokyo, even if just for a while? You could say you used to live and work in the capital, it would probably look good on your resume for any future job applications, too. I mean, I'm convinced you'd find a good job here, and there are a lot of interesting things here to put on your channel. Don't you want to make it grow for real?”
“I do,” Sho replied after releasing a sigh. “But I still don't know in which direction I want to take it.”
“Then try out different things and we'll figure it out together,” Nino said, his adorable smile back on his face. “The others might be helpful too with their input.”
The others, right, Sho thought, Nino's roommates. He had almost forgotten about their existence, being too distracted by the unexpected call and the indeed exciting thought to explore Tokyo with Nino by his side – and by Nino's still damp hair, especially those few drops of water glistening on his beautiful face... No, Sho, stop it and focus!
“OK... I'll think about it,” he eventually said. “Until when do you need a definite reply on this?”
“I'll confirm with the others and let you know as soon as possible,” Nino replied.
“OK, thank you.” Sho smiled. “And now, tell me about your day.”
Nino grinned widely again. “I had instant ramen for dinner. Oh, don't roll your eyes at me, Mr I-can't-cook-but-still-pretend-to-be-super-healthy!”
“I should send you a healthy bento from my local organic supermarket,” Sho giggled. “It changed my life, really.”
“You can bring one with you when you move here,” Nino wiggled his eyebrows. “But until then, don't worry about me. Aiba-chan and J will be back from their trip tomorrow, so healthy cooking is coming back, soon.”
“Good!” Sho laughed, actually a bit relieved to hear that, because he knew that J, or Matsumoto Jun, as it was Nino's friend's full name, was an enviable cook, and always took good care of his housemates. “Fill me in again, where did they go to, this time? I admit I'm not completely up to date with Jun-kun's vlogs at the moment.”
“Actually, it's pretty boring, they only went to Chiba, visiting Aibashi's parents,” Nino replied, waving his hand a little to dismiss the fact.
“It's still nice, meeting one's parents from time to time,” Sho said, but as usual when it came to that topic, Nino just shrugged, pretending to be indifferent. Knowing his friend and not wanting to risk Nino locking up completely, Sho decided to keep that lid closed for this time.
They continued talking about other things, some mundanities first, before they very passionately exchanged their opinions on the latest movie they had been watching at their respective local cinemas, the conversation making Nino's sudden hint of indifference vanish in an instance. A good half an hour later, they ended the conversation, Sho wishing his friend good night and Nino demanding him again to think about his offer about the soon-to-be empty room. Sho promised to do so before he closed the facetime app and released a deep sigh as he shuffled and let himself drop on his back, the soft fabric of his blanket embracing him. Yeah, he would think about it. But first, he'd get up and go fetch one of his healthy bentos from the fridge. It was time for dinner.
+ + +
“So when will that Sho guy you were talking about move in?” Aiba asked on Sunday morning at the breakfast table while he was distributing the small towers of pancakes with fruits topping that his boyfriend Jun was making for the whole bunch.
The smell of the pancakes was fantastic and even if Nino usually wasn't too much of a sweet tooth, it would be a straight-up lie if he said he didn't like Jun's pancakes. Especially, since the other man knew exactly what fruits to top the pancakes with to balance out the sweetness of the dough, and to refrain from putting extra syrup on Nino's portion. But even if Nino wouldn't like something that Jun made for breakfast, he would still join his roommates at the table. It has turned into something like a tradition already, and even if most of the time he used to be a loner, he very much enjoyed joining his friends for meals and some chats. This routine gave him something to hold on, something that pulled him out of his introverted shell regularly, and it came with a definitely healthier diet than his cup ramen diet he used to switch to, out of pure laziness, when the healthy live-style couple was not at home.
Kazama, one seventh of the residents of the share house – including the two cats living there – had a small pout on his face when he used his fork to slightly poke Nino, who was closest to him, in the arm.
“My bedsheets are still warm and you're already selling my room. You're cruel!”
“Ouch!” Nino protested, rather against Kazama calling him cruel than the actual poke, but he still pulled back and threatening his seating neighbour with his own fork in return, before piercing a piece of pancake that he got served a second later, instead of poking a fight. “It can't be helped, we need to make a living, or do you think being a YouTuber is enough? I can't afford my part of the rent getting higher because of your empty room, and I doubt, the others see it any different,” the young man mumbled between two bites of his breakfast.
The others, that included everyone currently present in the share house’s kitchen, except Kazama, indeed all shared one thing – they were all YouTubers, all of them maintaining at least one YouTube channel, providing a broad variety of content and earning them a small to mediate, but irregular income.
Kazama rolled his eyes. “I know about your part-time job and you're not earning that little from your channels.”
It was true, all of them also had a regular – at least part-time – job in addition to their YouTube channels and indeed, being able to share a house was cutting the living expenses immensely, however, this still didn't change the fact that there were more successful and less successful months, for all of them. In the long run, it would be wiser and cheaper for the group to fill the room that was becoming empty, and the sooner the better.
“Anyway, I just wanted to give him a heads-up so he can think about it,” Nino continued, brushing over the other man's comment. “It's not like this is gonna happen tomorrow and he only said, he'd think about it –“
Aiba, placing the last two plates of pancake on the table for him and Jun and sitting down at the opposite side to face Nino and Kazama – who didn't have too much in common, except of black hair and funny enough, also their birthday, although they were not related in any way – hummed thoughtfully. There was a big slurp coming from the side, and for a second, everyone turned their heads to the table head, where the fifth human member of the share house was seated, hunched over in his chair, his knees pulled up. His eyes looked tired and droopy from a long night, and his brown hair puffed up as if he had used up a whole bottle of hair spray at once. The plate in front of him was already almost empty, an arts magazine spread in front of him, and his coffee mug pressed against his lips.
“Sorry,” Ohno mumbled, making his next sip a quieter one. “Please go on,” he gestured at Nino with a hand covered in paint stains.
“Well...,” Nino picked the conversation back up after the short disturbance, “I think it's a big decision to make whether to move from Hokkaido to Tokyo or not, he has family there, a job –” he sliced his pancakes into smaller pieces and started dividing the fruits topping onto the dough pieces, as equally as possible, to make the perfect composition of taste. “So, Aiba-chan, I don't know yet if and when he'll move in.”
“Mhm...,” Nino's best friend – his face already stuffed with a piece of from syrup dripping pancake, which must be way too sweet in Nino's opinion – muffled. His eyes were fixated on Nino as if he wanted to say something more, but if he did, he kept it for himself and simply added, “Then just keep us updated. I'll consider him as a potential new renter, but if we don't get a decision within a month, I'll be forced to search for someone else. After all, the whole moving process will take time, too, right?”
“Sure, thanks, I'll let him know,” Nino replied with a smile.
“If he doesn't want the room, I know someone who might–“ Ohno spoke up again from the side.
“Hey!” Kazama exclaimed again, playfully pointing his fork at him before eyeing from Ohno to Nino and back, “You're not a bit better than this little miser here!”
“Relax Kazama-kun,” Jun, who had finished cooking, placed the last plate with pancakes free to take for everyone in the middle of the table and finally settled down right next to Aiba. He was holding a huge mug of coffee in his hand – his sleepy face indicating that he could definitely need it. “You know it's not like we're throwing you out, it's rather that you are leaving us, so it's just natural we're thinking about the future of this share house.”
Jun made a slightly overdramatic gesture, almost spilling some of his coffee over his boyfriend's T-shirt in the attempt to figuratively fill the room.
“Jun-chan, watch out!” Aiba shrieked before putting his hand on top of Jun's and making him put down his mug.
The kitchen slash dining room was actually openly connected with a large living room from which a few doors were leading to other parts of the house. There was one bathroom, and a guest toilet, a storage room and a garage which held space for three cars, but only was home to one – Jun's – car at the moment, and rather functioned as an atelier for Ohno and his art (after Jun had made sure there was a large screen built up between his precious car and Ohno's paints, to avoid possible catastrophes). Besides, there was a spiral staircase in the middle of the room, guiding upstairs, where the second bathroom was located, as well as another toilet, and five individual bedrooms, which were each inhabited by one of the share house’s residents.
Aiba Masaki – currently ruffling his long fingers through the dark curls of his boyfriend – had taken over managing the house from his uncle, the actual owner, some years ago. Aiba's uncle had been living here with his wife and children, but since the man's kids had moved out on their own, he and his wife had moved back to their hometown Chiba, to be closer to the rest of the family, and he was now renting this place to his nephew and his friends. Besides maintaining the house in a good condition, Aiba was working as an animal caretaker in a nearby zoo, and he was regularly making animal-related vlogs and other videos there, which he put on his YouTube channel. Due to his sunshine personality and his deep love for animals, which had brought his channel big success with people throughout all age groups, Aiba was even sometimes invited to a popular TV show called “Tensai! Shimura Doubutsuen”, and was by now rumoured to become a regular host, there. According to his own words, though, Aiba wanted to keep his YouTube channel his priority, so nothing was decided, yet.
Aiba had pulled his cousin (who was not a son of his uncle, but the son of another aunt), Kazama Shunsuke, into the share house first. At that time, the now hotel manager had still been a freshman college student but was happy to find a relatively cheap room in a share house instead of having to live in a small, overpriced apartment all by himself. It was only now – after he had asked his long-year girlfriend, who he had met at work, to become his wife – that he was planning to move out and form a home for his wife and their future family, instead.
Back in time, after Kazama moving in, it had not taken long, until Aiba had offered Nino a room in the share house, too. The two were separated by one year due to their age, but they had become best friends during their childhood after they had met during baseball summer camps for years. At the time of moving in, Nino had just entered university, but picking up a subject of his parents' choice that he had zero interest in, had made him feel so miserable, that he could only think about quitting studies. When, after a big fight, he desperately wanted to move out of his parent's house, Aiba's offer came just at the right time. Even with just a part-time job, it would be doable to pay the reasonable rent, and thus, Nino had thrown everything he didn't want out of the window and started his new life at his friend's house. This included a job at a music store and his at that time first, slowly but surely growing YouTube channel, focussed on entertainment reviews like CDs, movies, games, or books.
Shortly after, Nino had recommended one of his former university buddies, Jun, as an addition to the share house, not only but probably primarily because the man was an enviable cook (which he did not only prove on his YouTube cooking and his vlog channel). Surprisingly in some aspects, Jun did not only become the group's cook and interior designer, but also Aiba's boyfriend, pretty fast, and until now, Nino proudly proclaimed to have been their match-maker.
And then, there was Ohno, of whom, until today, nobody knew exactly, though, where Aiba had picked him up from, but Aiba had his way with all kinds of people, so it wasn't really a surprise that he showed up with a breadless artist at his hand, one day. Ohno also owned a YouTube channel by now, even if he had needed a lot of pushes and help from Aiba and the others to finally start one. His most famous format was one that felt like a homage to the late, famous painter Bob Ross, who was a master of creating magic on canvas, while commenting his steps with his calm voice, making him very popular not only among aspiring painters but also fans of ASMR. The special twist about Ohno's videos was, that he was constantly humming melodies while painting or drawing, only seldomly commenting his steps – which he turned into lyrics of his songs, at that time. Despite that, it seemed to work, as Ohno's channel was approaching a mentionable number of subscribers now.
The place's signature was a warm feeling, originating from creme-coloured wall paint and supported by the light brown coloured interior. There were also accents in various colours spread all over the house, like the cushions on the couch, or the rainbow bookshelf lining the long wall in the living room, as well as tons of beautiful house plants that Jun and Aiba treated as if they were their children. Despite being – for Japanese standards – quite a big house, it didn't look empty. It wasn't stuffed, either, but it had this kind of cosiness that made you want to stay at home all day long. The bedrooms upstairs, also mostly designed by Jun, who had given everything a huge makeover after he had moved in, were just as comfy and fitting for each personality. To say that Jun had done splendid work on catching each of his roommates' likes and preferences, was an understatement.
“I'm not leaving you, I'm moving in with my fiancé, that's all,” Kazama chuckled.
“Technically, it's the same result,” Jun mumbled, before dedicating himself to his coffee.
Kazama sighed, scratching his ear. He knew this wasn't a reproach but just a simple statement of facts. If even, he was convinced, that Jun was already looking forward to planning and renovating his room, in preparation for whoever would become his successor. Still, it was an awkward situation, for the whole group, knowing they would have to say goodbye to one of the houses long-year inmate, soon.
“It's a very happy reason to move out, though,” Aiba chimed, “You know, we wish you all the best for the future, right? Sorry that this bunch –,” he shot everyone at the table a serious look, “Is unable to express their true feelings. Let me translate – we will miss you!”
+ + +
Understandably, it took Sho more than one evening to decide about whether to move to Tokyo, or not, and it definitely wasn't an easy decision to make. While his mother would probably tell him to “live your life and don't overthink everything too much”, Sho knew, that she was currently still on cloud nine after just recently falling in love with a new man after grieving her husband’s loss from now more than five years ago, and she was probably not thinking enough for his personal taste.
His sister, though, would surely call him crazy, especially, if he mentioned that he wanted to work on building his YouTube career and that it was ridiculous and irresponsible to through away a steady job as assistant branch manager of a renowned book store, with prospects for a further promotion in probably only a couple of years. He could even hear her voice, scolding him, and saying things like that “a man in his late 20s should surely have other career goals than becoming a YouTuber” or “aren't you actually too old for this kind of dream, anyway?”. Sho knew, she didn't think highly of this kind of career choice – neither did most of Japan, actually – but even if Sho just kept it as a hobby, he didn't want to miss it from his daily life anymore, and if he could actually earn a little extra money with it, why not try to do it a bit more seriously?
Sho's younger brother was also to be considered, of course. Well, he loved his brother and wouldn't want him to give up his dream, but he'd also miss him horribly, and Sho would miss him too.
Further, Sho's brother wouldn't be the only one he would miss when moving away from his current life, he had quite a few friends up here, one of them being his long-year workmate and his best friend, Tsumabuki Satoshi, or Bukki, as Sho used to call him since college days. What he liked most about his friend was, that Bukki pretty much knew everything about Sho and that he didn't need to hide anything from him. Not his YouTube channel, not his – in the eyes of his sister – silly ambitions, not his true nature. He could talk to his friend about everything, and Bukki was always the first one to give valuable advice to Sho, or at least, support him.
Thus, it was just natural that on Monday when the two met again at work, Sho couldn't hold back anymore. Sure, he could have texted him, but he needed to talk about this thing with his best friend in person. He needed his opinion on this.
“Bukki, I need your help,” Sho said, first thing after his friend entered the small dressing room in the back of the store, opened his locker and put his backpack inside.
Bukki took off his jacket and replaced it with the store's dark red coloured signature apron while darting a curiously raised eyebrow in his friend's direction. “What's wrong, Sho?”
“I need your opinion on something,” the other man – already fully dressed in his work uniform – said in a very serious voice.
Bukki smirked. “Oh and I was thinking you'd never talk about it, I always wanted to tell you that the colour of this shirt you're wearing, really doesn't suit you -”
“What –,” Sho furrowed his eyebrows and opened the door of his locker, looking into the long mirror hung in the inside of the door, checking his outfit.
He was wearing dark pants and a mint coloured long-sleeved shirt underneath his apron, and while he didn't really know what exactly didn't fit well, he started wondering. Was that colour making him look too pale, perhaps?
“Well... thank you for your honesty, but that's not what I meant,” Sho answered, deciding to ignore the clothes issue altogether for now. It was what it was now, anyway.
“Oh. Then... just don't wear this shirt anymore and tell me what you actually wanted my opinion on,” his friend replied with a wide grin.
Sho had to admit, that Bukki, dressed in dark blue jeans and a simple white shirt, indeed looked a bit more put together than he did. Damned, he really wasn't going to wear this shirt ever again, now.
Without needing any further invitation, Sho started to tell his best friend of the call between him and Nino. Of course, Bukki knew everything about Nino, who he was, how he and Sho met and became friends online about five years ago in a movie addicts forum, and that he was a rising YouTube star who had inspired Sho to start his own channel. Bukki also knew, how often they actually had met in real life (twice, once at a very small YouTube convention in Tokyo, years ago, and one time last year, when Nino came to visit Sho in his hometown for a long weekend trip) and most importantly, he knew about Sho's huge crush on the young man. One-sided, sadly. At least, until now.
“I understand your hesitation,” Bukki eventually said, while the two men were rearranging some shelves in the Contemporary Literature book section, placing new covers to the fronts to shine and invite people to pick them up and read them, as well as adding small, handwritten notes from various members of their staff to some selected books, as recommendations. “Your family and friends are all here, you are starting an actual career in this branch, too... but on the other hand, your long-year crush asks you move in with him, it's like one of your secret dreams coming true...”
“N-not with him, with him and his four other roommates!” Sho immediately protested, fighting a blush on his face and almost dropping a hardcover on his foot.
“Ah, details,” Bukki chuckled, waving his hand. “You'd still be closer to him – and especially for way longer – than ever before, it's a big chance to, you know... get closer to him.”
Sho fought the urge to cover his face with his hands and tried to focus on sorting some books in alphabetical order of the author's last name.
“It's not like... you know, I don't think he even thinks of me that way,” Sho murmured. “Maybe, this is a bad idea. Maybe, I'd just start hoping all over again and in the end, he really just wants to be friends, and I'm ruining everything.”
“But – correct me if I'm wrong,” Bukki interrupted his best friend, “There has been a moment between the two of you, when he visited you last year, no? I remember exactly, how excited you were on the phone the next day.”
Sho's heart started beating faster at the memory his friend was referring to. A moment, indeed – and only that –, in Sho's apartment, him and Nino cuddling up on the sofa, watching a movie, sharing some delivery sushi and a six-pack of beer, the two of them looking at each other, Nino's face so close to Sho's, that Sho almost had leaned over to kiss the other man, until Nino had blinked and pulled back, continuing on watching the movie and sipping his beer, as if nothing had happened. As if there had not been a moment, at all.
“There was a lot of alcohol in use, and nothing actually happened. Cuddling doesn't count as something happening,” Sho murmured.
Bukki sighed. “I still think he was probably just shy. You said, he's an introvert, didn't you?”
“He is, although I think we got pretty close over the years despite that. But he never even talked about liking guys that way, or him liking anyone that way. It just wasn't a topic we talked about,” Sho replied. “And so, I also never told him that I like guys that way.”
For a painful minute, Bukki didn't say anything, before he finally turned to Sho and looked him straight into the eye. “Do you still like him?”
Sho swallowed, surprised by the direct question, but there was not the slightest doubt in his answer. “I do.”
“A lot?” Bukki raised an eyebrow.
Sho sighed, before he almost whispered desperately, “A very big lot.”
His friend smiled as if he understood very much what Sho was talking about, and then reached his hand to pat the man's shoulder, comfortingly.
“Then, if you want my honest opinion... If you just have the slightest feeling that there could be a tiny bit more between the two of you, or if you just want to make sure – I think you should take the risk and try to find out more about his feelings. You already once said you can't figure this out via a long-distance online friendship slash relationship, whatever you want to call it. This would be your chance to be close to him almost 24/7, think about it!” the man said in an encouraging voice. “I know, your career, and your people are here, but I'm sure you can also make a career in Tokyo!”
With a soft chuckle, Sho replied, “And you don't say this only so you can take over my position as assistant branch manager here?”
Bukki rolled his eyes before breaking out into a grin. “You know, I wouldn't mind a recommendation from your side once your position is vacant, but you know I don't care about it. I just want you to be happy. Why not try your luck? If it goes wrong, you can always come back. And in the meantime, you can come to visit us as often as you like. You can crash on my couch if you want. And I can come to visit you too, it's been a while since I've been to the capital and I'm still a bit salty you didn't introduce your crush to me last time!”
Sho laughed, and he could almost feel the burden that had weighed on his shoulders for the weekend, falling off with it. Maybe, he wasn't surprised to hear all those words from his best friend, but maybe, he just had had to hear them. To be sure.
“Actually, besides all the lovey-dovey-stuff,” Bukki continued, playfully picking on Sho's crush, “And the new career chances, I think it would do you good to be surrounded by creative people. You said Nino's living with a bunch of other YouTubers, right? I'd say, it's also a great chance for you as a content creator to learn and grow.”
“That was also part of Nino's argumentation,” Sho answered. “He said, he'd help me to figure out things.”
“That's great!” Sho's friend grinned. “And while you're spending a looot of time together making videos, you two will get closer and closer and then one day –“
Bukki didn't properly end his sentence, but instead, he quickly turned around so that his back was facing Sho, slung his arms around his own body and started to quietly mimic kissing noises while slightly wiggling around.
“You are an idiot, Tsumabuki Satoshi!” Sho exclaimed, placing a slight playful slap on the back of his best friend's head. He couldn't help but grin widely, though, his face red like a tomato.
“Don't hurt my feelings, I'm your biggest supporter!” Bukki whirled around, pretending Sho's slap had hurt, and sticking out his tongue.
“Back to work now,” Sho giggled, shaking his head before trying to be serious again. “There's still the whole Children's Book section to cover, Tsumabuki-san! This is an order from your assistant branch manager, Sakurai Sho.”
“Roger!” his friend replied and gave him two thumbs up before he was off to said book section.
Sho, still perfecting a shelf display, stayed back, thinking to himself. Bukki's reaction had been a relief, indeed, as well as a reassurance of his own thoughts, but he also knew that deep inside he was the only one who knew what was best for him and which decision he should make. And deep inside, he knew, he wanted to be closer to Nino. Wanted to take the chance to get to know him even better, in real life after such a long time of being friends online. He was pretty sure they would get along well, the few times they had met offline, they had just clicked, but was there more than friendship? Sho thought back to that moment, to how excited he had been feeling back then. He didn't know, if it had been the same for Nino if he ever thought back to that moment, or not, but he was burning to at least take the chance and try to find out.
Was this the right reason to make such a big decision to move to another city or not, Sho wasn't sure, and of course, it wouldn't be the only reason, as a possible push to his YouTube career played also its fair part, but him wanting to be with Nino was undoubtedly the strongest pull about all this.
What was the worst that could happen in this situation? Sho could embarrass himself and find out, that Nino didn't like him the same way as he liked the young man, maybe, they would become awkward... yes, this was a frightening image, and Sho didn't want that to happen, but otherwise if he didn't try his luck, would he be able to forgive himself? And about his YouTube-career, things couldn't possibly get any worse, and if, then he would just keep on doing his videos for a handful of loyal viewers, and there was no damage done. Doing nothing, wouldn't bring him any further, not in regards to his love life, not in regards to his online career. So, he could just try and see, if he'd be successful or fail. And if he didn't do it know, he'd probably do it never.
Sho took a deep breath, released it, and said to himself, not realising the surprised look of a passing mother with her child on her hand, “OK. It's decided. I'm gonna take this chance and if I go down, I go down with my head held up high!”
TBC