Archive of Our Own

“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet,” a familiar voice said over your shoulder.

You turned to find Steve ambling closer, looking dignified in his black three-piece suit. You smiled softly. “Not a chance.”

“I was told I might find you here.”

“Clearly, they were right.”

Gingerly, he took a seat beside you on the old wooden bench that overlooked the lake. The grassy clearing was a short trail away from his lake house, at the opposite end of where the ceremony was to take place on his property. It was a beautiful spring day and you wore a flowing lace gown, simple and elegant. You still couldn’t believe you were wearing such a dress, and for such an occasion.

In the beginning, it was hard to reconcile Steve’s wizened appearance with how you’d known him before. It was impossible not to look at him and see the Steve from before with the same mindset and experiences, merely with a different facade. But over time you came to recognize that it was no mere facade. With age had come a slew of life experiences you weren’t privy to, a treasure trove of his own stories to tell. In many ways, he was still the same Steve you’d always known, except he wasn’t. He’d lived a whole life in another world and it took you some time coming to terms with it. It was as though everyone else had been frozen in time and he’d been the only one to carry on, and when all the rest of you reemerged, the only indication of the passage of time was in the lines of his face and the frailty of his gait.

“You look wonderful, darling,” he said. “So very beautiful. I can hardly believe it’s happening.”

“Looks like you got your wish after all, huh?”

“More like he got his.”

Your heart thumped, your chest growing warm at the allusion. To how Bucky had loved you for years, had longed after you for years.

“We both did,” you said. The calm in your voice belied the butterflies swarming your belly.

“I’m just glad I get to see it for myself.”

Your eyes grew a faint sheen to them. “Me, too, Steve.”

“What’s this now? Crying before the ceremony?”

“Oh, I’m going to be crying regardless. I already cry at complete strangers’ weddings. How do you think I’ll be at my own?” You laughed, swiping carefully at your eye makeup. “God, ‘my own.’ It’s still so strange to say it. I’m getting married.”

“Was this ever part of the plan?”

Was this ever where you’d seen yourself going all those years ago, he meant. When everything had changed and you thought you were irrevocably broken.

You mulled it over. “I didn’t have a plan. I figured they’d just get broken anyway. But if this is what came out of not knowing what the hell to do, where to go…then I’m glad.”

He nodded, gaze turning to the water. “Don’t hate me for it, but I’m sure I hear some of myself in you right now.”

“What do you mean? You didn’t have a plan? I thought you knew what you wanted to do.”

No matter how much you’d grown to accept his decision to remain in the past, some deep part of you still hurt at the very thought, and you suspected you always would. And yet, as the years went by, you slowly, privately grew to understand. If what he felt for Peggy was even a fraction of what you felt for Bucky, you thought you might’ve finally understood.

“No, no,” he said gently, “I did know. Once I figured it out anyway. I simply mean that for once, I was able to let go of that feeling, the one where I always had to be in control, and just be.”

Just be. Today, of all days, you were certain you could do that.

“Does he make you happy?” Steve asked.

A sudden breath expelled from your lips, as if the sheer magnitude of emotions tangled up inside you was too strong to be contained within your body. “He does. So, so happy.”

“And you love him?”

“With all my heart.”

“Then let those thoughts be the only ones to guide you through today.” He stood and held out a hand, a soft glint in his eye. “Your guests await.”

Smiling warmly, you took his hand and stood, picking up your bouquet as you went. You slipped your arm into his, and together, you made your way across the clearing.

Just then, Morgan appeared at the other end.

“Found you!” She bounded over in her pink and white dress, something white dangling from her fingers. She was nearly ten now and showing more and more signs of taking after Tony by the day. “I made this for you for fun, but mama said I should give it to you to wear for the wedding.” She held out her hand. In it was a crown of daisies, crudely fashioned together and altogether perfect.

“I would love to wear this for the wedding.” You accepted the crown and drew her in for a hug. “It’s beautiful, Morgan. Thank you.”

“She also says to get your butt over there already. It’s almost starting!”

You laughed. “I’m going, I’m going. You go ahead, though. We’ll be right behind you. Promise.”

“Okaaay,” she said as though she didn’t believe you and spun in the other direction.

You and Steve trailed behind, and when you finally arrived at the lawn just beside the lake behind Steve’s house, it was to an intimate crowd of guests on either side of a white aisle runner. And at the other end of the runner, one hand clasped around his wrist, stood Bucky.

Your heart thudded in your chest at the sight of him, your breath was stolen from your lungs, and your vision narrowed until all you could see was him. He was breathtaking in his black suit and tie, and you had no idea how you’d gotten so lucky. He wasn’t even looking at you, had no idea you were there, and he had your heart racing at the speed of light.

“How are you feeling, hon?” Pepper appeared at your side in her dusty rose dress, taking your arm. Sam appeared next to her in his black suit and tie.

“Still can’t believe any of this is happening.” You struggled to gulp.

She chuckled soundlessly. “It does seem surreal at first. But at some point you realize there’s nothing to wake up to. That none of it’s a dream, and you wouldn’t want it to be either way.”

“He’s a hell of a lucky guy,” Sam said. “Should’ve seen him earlier. Don’t think I’ve ever seen him so nervous about anything whole time I’ve known him.”

“Are you ready, dear?” Steve’s voice came from beside you.

Your voice wouldn’t work. Your heart was in your throat. You could only nod, unable to believe that any of it was actually about to happen.

Steve motioned to someone off to the side and the cello glided into a different tune, its rich, dulcet sound singing through the air. Pepper got in a quick adjustment of your flower crown and stroked your arm affectionately, eyes shining as she smiled. Then she and Sam shuffled to the front of the procession with Morgan as the flower girl at their backs. Steve patted your hand where it rested on his arm.

At the change in music, the small gathering rose from their seats and every head turned your way, but once the others filed down the aisle and the sea seemed to part, you could see none of it.

All you could see was Bucky at the other end, watching and waiting with bated breath. Time came to a standstill as your eyes locked and you could hardly look away, doing so only to return the smiles of the surrounding familiar faces. When you met Bucky’s eye, saw the unspoken emotion in the way he looked back, it was the ever-present compass that guided you through safe passage. To home. To him.

When you arrived at the altar, Steve pressed a delicate kiss to your cheek and nodded meaningfully at Bucky. Bucky nodded back. When Steve let his arm slip from yours and moved to his seat, Pepper took your bouquet and stepped back to her side of the altar, the counterpart position to Sam, who stood next to Bucky. A soft smile on his lips, Bucky fit your hand into his.

Later, you would hardly be able to recall the details. The ceremony passed in a blur, the officiant’s voice filtering through your pounding ears made it sound as if he spoke from somewhere underwater, and for a while the only thing you could bring yourself to focus on was the tender sunlight brushing across your skin. But you remembered vividly, viscerally, the clasp of Bucky’s hand anchoring you to him, the unerring warmth in his eyes as you recited your vows, and the staggering, dreamlike feel of his hand slipping the gold band onto your finger and seeing its twin find its home on his own left hand. And when his lips pressed down on yours, you knew nothing but him and the certainty in your bones that told you everything would be okay.

Together, you walked down the aisle to cheers, and afterward, you danced. Evening was fast approaching and the fairy lights lit up the landscape. Your head rested against Bucky’s chest, your hand in his. With his other arm wrapped firmly around your waist, you breathed him in.

“Husband.” You tested out the word, chuckling. “I still can’t believe I get to say that. Husband.”

“Lot of things I’m finding hard to believe right now.” His voice rumbled in his chest, warming you from head to toe.

“Mm. I keep wondering when I’m going to wake up.”

“Do you want to wake up?”

“Never.”

“What do you want?”

Forever, you almost said. But forever was a long time, and forever wasn’t long enough. Still, when you drew back, the depth hinting behind his gaze seemed to promise it anyway.

“You,” you answered instead.

“You got me.”

You smiled. That you did.

“What do you want?” you asked.

He shook his head. “I got what I want.”

“Guess we both got lucky, then.”

“Guess so.”

With another smile, you tucked back into him, eyes falling shut when his lips pressed against your forehead.

Your heart was set to burst, it was so full, made even fuller when Bucky sat himself down next to Steve and put a hand on his old friend’s shoulder before wrapping his arms around him in a steady, poignant embrace.

After, you and Bucky stole away to the farthest possible edge of the party where the lights still reached, the festivities still taking place behind you. You were standing at the water’s edge when Bucky captured your hand in his and tugged you close, slipping an arm around your waist. He kissed you fiercely, unendingly, and the heart-stopping fire to his gaze was sure to etch its way into your memory for all of time.

“Wife,” he murmured as he traced his knuckles down your cheek like he couldn’t quite believe it. “My wife.”

“Yes. Yours. Always yours.” Leaning into his touch, you took his hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles before entangling your fingers with his.

“How’d I get so lucky?”

“You didn’t. I did.”

“What happened to ‘we both got lucky’?”

“I made an error. It’s been known to happen. Turns out the lucky one was me after all.”

He chuckled, thumb catching on your cheek. He was so devastatingly handsome it didn’t seem right for him to be able to stand before you as he did, as a flesh and blood man. “You may be able to convince me of a lot of things, babe, but that’s one battle you’re never going to win. Better get used to it now.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I win either way. You side with me, I’ll like it. You fight me, I’ll still like it. Can’t pretend to be sorry about it.”

“Don’t speak too soon. We’ve still got the rest of our lives to go.”

“We do, don’t we?” He pressed closer, clasping you tightly to him, a heady undercurrent of stifled passion to his motions, as though it bubbled from the very depths of his soul and he had no idea how to contain it. His breath fanned out across your skin as he spoke against your neck. “Here’s to forever.”

You stroked his hair at the back of his head and held on, breathing in the twilight air. “To forever.”