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~The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere~
Being a lord isn't at all what he thought it would be like, although to be fair, he never thought much about being a lord before now.
Of course he knew lords to be pompous, of highborn's to only care for themselves and not for anyone else around them.
It was always the common folk and the lowborn that got caught in the crossfires of highborn's stupid games.
The only highborn that wasn't like that was Arya and she was the only one he cared for. The only one he cares for.
He lies awake each and every night thinking of her.
Thinking of what it would be like to see her again, what it would be like to hold her.
To press his lips against hers only once more.
The sky gets to kiss her each night as she sails off searching for whatever's West.
He's never wished to be anyone else before, he never cared that he was a bastard.
But tonight, and every night, he wishes he were the sky.
~'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
'Cause I wish you were here~
He'd never had a featherbed before becoming a lord and it's something he thinks of often when he tries to rest for the night and his mind drifts to her.
There's nothing wrong with featherbed's. He's just not so sure he likes them so much without her there for him to hold in his arms.
He gets angry thinking about it, thinking about how happy he had been to have her in his life again without knowing their time was limited.
He wishes he could send a raven to her to talk about anything.
About how he misses her. About how things should feel easier than their time on the road when they were younger but they only feel heavy.
About how he still loves her and he's not sorry about it.
He just wishes she were there.
~I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly~
Sometimes, when he can't sleep all that well, he goes down and sits at the docks by the sea.
He'll sit there for hours, watching the waves pull in and out as the sky changes from dusk to dawn.
It's peaceful, he thinks, but sometimes it makes him feel a little hollow.
It leaves him reminiscing of a time when they were together, travelling on the road to the nights watch, on the road to harrenhal and then camping with the brotherhood.
He thinks of those nights fondly, of how they only trusted each other.
He thinks of both of them refusing to sleep for fear of the others safety and how they'd quietly argue between themselves until the sky was bright and the sun was hanging proud.
He smiles a little and lets out a breath as he looks up at the sky above him.
He misses her.
She's his best friend, his family and he misses her.
~The silence isn't so bad
'Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly~
If there's one thing that makes him feel any semblance of happiness, it's that he still gets to work in a forge of his very own there at Storms End.
Beating down on an anvil and making the steel sing always brings him peace.
It gives him a sense of control, like there's no possible way for him to screw this up because he knows what he's doing.
It's metal, it's steel work, it's music.
But sometimes, it's quiet.
Sometimes, he hears his own thoughts and sees vividly in his mind all the memories he has made with her.
And he hates it. He hates it because he loves it.
He hates looking at his hands and remembering how soft and small her hands were.
He hates knowing that their hands mold perfectly together, like they were made for one another.
He hates it because he remembers how those hands feel so clearly.
How gently they held his face while she gave him her first everything.
It almost makes him laugh because how could anyone ever think she had the hands of a blacksmith when they were the softest hands he's ever held?
He hates the quiet because he remembers, and he hates remembering because he loves remembering.
~I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone~
Being a lord is a lot harder than he had anticipated, but he tries.
He tries because he refuses to be anything like the highborn's that ruled Kings Landing.
There are people there, people that need caring and that are worth caring about.
Besides, if he throws himself into doing the work, learning to do sums and strengthening his ability to read and write more than he already knows, then he won't miss a beat.
He won't have time to let his thoughts wander over to the nights before the battle of Winterfell.
Or the nights that came after.
Nights of rebuilding and restoring.
Nights where they were still Gendry and Arya and she's take him down a strange corridor to do things he'd never imagined he'd be lucky enough to do with her.
Nights before he became legitimized and where he should've put his foot in his mouth.
He stays awake thinking about it sometimes.
For days, even. Just thinking about how quickly it all changed for them.
He could be angry. Angry at her, angry at himself, but it was her right to say no.
He can't be angry at her for that.
So he isn't.
He's a lord now.
But he's sad and cold because it's always with him. She's always on his mind and it makes his heart hurt.
~But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when
I think of you, I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone~
Nights after their worst storms in Storms End aren't like anything he's ever seen before.
The moon is always fuller and it's always like the stars in the sky multiply over night.
There's a balcony in his room and on nights after the storms, he'll sit out on his balcony, looking up at the sky and not trying very hard to fight the smile it brings to his face.
During their nights on the road, whenever she couldn't sleep and saying her list of names out loud didn't work very well, she'd resort to counting the stars in the sky.
He'd turn on his side always and look at her like she'd grown a second head while she muttered numbers to herself, her big grey eyes fixed on the sky.
"There's no way you can possibly count every star in the sky." He'd tell her.
She'd stop her counting to turn and look at him, fixing him with a glare before saying, "Watch me."
And almost as if to prove the point, she'd start counting even louder.
The memory pulls a smile from him and a light laugh, something only she would be capable of doing to him.
Thinking of her isn't always just missing her. Sometimes it's warm and he feels her there with him.
Sometimes, it's him on his balcony trying to count the stars in the sky above him because he knows she would.
He knows she must be, wherever she is and he finds comfort in knowing that every night, they look at the same sky.
He doesn't feel so alone because she's in his heart, always.
~As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight~
He doesn't know how many times she crosses his mind each day and night and he doesn't bother counting; he thinks it's infinite.
She's the last thing he thinks of before he sleeps and the first thing he thinks of when he wakes.
He wonders about why she'd gone west even after Queen Daenerys won and how going west could have possibly crossed her mind.
He wonders if she ever plans on coming back, not just to him but to everybody.
He thinks it doesn't matter much because he knows as much as he did yesterday. He knows as much as he did when she was leaving.
She said her goodbye to him but that didn't mean it was forever.
So he thinks of her and he feels hope.
Hope that one day, he'll see her again.
Hope that she's okay and that she still loves him too.
He already knows that he loves her.
~When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again~
There are plenty of explanations of how he ended up where he is.
But speaking for his position as the Lord of Storms End, he can only credit that to the queen.
She legitimized him in front of everyone and he spoke his gratitude for it.
He didn't care much for being a highborn, but she was kind and in her violet eyes was nothing short of honesty.
He accepted because it had been the right thing to do and only a fool would think to upset somebody who had dragons.
It felt strange becoming a lord. Even stranger was telling Arya about it.
It was like being born all over again.
He had been a little drunk and a lot happy and all he wanted was Arya.
When he thinks of that night, as he walks around Storms End taking care of his people, he remembers everything he felt.
How alive he felt after having helped fight against the dead.
How proud he felt in knowing Arya was the one who ended the night king.
The rush of warmth that spread through him when their lips met and how right and how real she felt in his arms.
He can taste that night. Even the sad parts.
But he carries it with him because feeling that tells him he's alive and his heart is still beating in his chest. He never forgets those memories nor does he forget that he's lucky enough to feel them still.
He always feels them.
~And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you~
It was like living in a new world.
Newer than when Davos rescued him from Melisandre and Stannis.
He had to hide in Kings Landing. He had to be nobody the way he always had been when he was younger.
But here, as their lord, he doesn't have to hide.
He just has to put the past behind him.
He just has to forget everything he ever knew to be true because it was an entirely new world.
But he doesn't forget her.
He could never forget her.
She's firmly fixed into his mind and a part of, if not his whole heart.
Forgetting her would be like forgetting how to breathe.
It's not like he could forget her even if he tried anyways.
Little things all across Storms End remind him of her, remind him of why he loves her and misses her as he does.
Things like wolves howling when everyone is meant to be sleeping.
Things like fresh baked bread in the mornings and how much she loved bread.
And even more so, the ships in the night.
Whenever ships try their chances at docking there in Storms End, he tries to stop himself from imagining her ship docking there, but his imagination always gets the better of him.
He always sees it.
Sees what it would be like, watching her ship with that giant wooden direwolf at the head of it, pulling up at sea, there for him.
He can't forget her, not when his imagination is cruel enough to taunt him with fantasies of seeing her again.
He thinks he might be going a little mad, though.
Days and nights pass and he's restless again and surely its been months since she sailed off for whatever's west but he's on the dock tonight and it's different.
He hears something in the distance. Not just another wolf howling, but he hears that too, louder than most nights. No, tonight he hears a ship.
He doesn't know anyone crazy enough to sail into Storms End at night and the only person he does know he doesn't even bother letting it cross his mind. She's gone West.
He doesn't even know how far off the ship is but surely they won't dock there until the morning time.
For now, he's left listening to the sway of the sea and the breeze fighting against him while he misses her, while he remembers her.
As if he'd ever forget.
~Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here~
He doesn't know if the ship ever made it, but when the morning time comes, he knows he has to check.
He'd found himself lulling to the sounds of Storms End the night before and retired to his room to try and attempt at getting some rest.
Today didn't feel like any of the other days that he'd been here at Storms End.
Today felt strange and new.
Each day before, he had settled into a routine, but today feels like he knows absolutely nothing.
Except for a few things.
He knows he still has to get up and face the day, that he has to go out there and be a lord.
He knows that he has to go to the docks and welcome whatever guests docked without bothering to send a raven beforehand.
He knows he still misses her and wishes for a time simpler than this one.
He wishes he could talk to her again and tell her about how he's trying his best but it's still hard.
Tell her how he thinks he's doing an okay job and he's having a better go at it than most new lords would but he still needs to work on his people skills.
Tell her in the quietest of voices that he misses her and he wishes she were there with him, to poke fun at him and fight with him and help him and to just be his family.
He should've known all those years ago that she was his family.
They were just stupid titles and still had enough power more than any man to tear them apart.
He shakes those thoughts away because he doesn't need to worry himself with what her being a lady then and him being a lord now has done to them.
He heads out of his castle, his castle (its been months and he still doesn't believe it) and down to the docks where he sees already a bunch of his men gathered around.
He's getting closer and he stops because it can't be, it really can't be.
His eyes are wide and blue and the ship looks exactly as it did the first time he saw it, only a little rougher on the sides.
He shakes his head back and forth and his fists are clenched at his sides while his eyes are squeezed shut.
He must look like quite the lord to his people, an absolute mess of a man all because the ship has a direwolf.
"It can't be, it truly can't be." He mutters to himself and he turns to walk back to the castle because surely he didn't get enough sleep, surely there's an explanation, surely she wouldn't just arrive unannounced.
He takes his first step forward when that voice freezes him into place.
"My lord."
He opens his eyes and they're wide and round and blue and he can't turn around, he can't because she won't be there if he does. It'll just be somebody else, it won't be her.
His mouth is hanging open a little while he tries to rationalize and think of all the possibilities.
His heart is beating in his throat and he knows that this is what he wants, he wants it to be her but nothing scares him more than the heartbreak of finding out that it might not be.
A throat clears behind him and he hears the occasional thump on the ground, the person behind him rocking back and forth on their feet.
He turns around slowly because he never knew much about cautionary tales, but he knew that going slow was always better.
He turns around completely and his heart thumps.
It's her, truly full well her. Arya Stark, with grey eyes and hair longer than before in clothes meant for the warmth of spring.
If she's cold there at Storms End, her body doesn't betray her.
His eyes are surely the widest they've ever been and she looks beautiful. She was always beautiful.
"Arya." He breathes out and her face breaks out into a grin as she rushes forward and tackles him in a hug.
He can't believe that she's real and she's there, but it's all he'd ever hoped for, all he'd been praying about in the few months of his lordship.
He wraps his arms around her tightly, burying his face in her hair and breathing her in.
The months at sea have done nothing to take away the scent and sweetness that was all her. He feels her squeeze tighter, her face against his neck and he feels her smile.
They don't know how long they stand there but he thinks it must surely be a sight for his people witnessing their lord in a moment of affection.
They pull away and he doesn't know when the tears in his eyes arrived but he sees the ones that fall from hers.
"What are you doing here?" He asks softly and she smiles up at him before biting down on her bottom lip.
She looks up at him with glassy grey eyes, releasing a watery laugh.
"I missed you. That's all."
He laughed and shook his head, "That's all?"
She glared at him but her smile stayed long after, "Yes, Gendry. You're my best friend, my family and I missed you. So much so that it felt like my heart was going to explode."
He doesn't know what to do with that confession. It wasn't like her to be so openly affectionate but he knows it to be true for her to be actually saying it.
He looks at the ship behind her by the docks and then looks at his castle behind him before looking at her.
He's nervous to ask because he doesn't know how long she's staying for, but he knows she can see the question in his eyes so she nods her head to let him know it's okay.
"How long are you staying for?" His voice wavers and he really did miss her.
She looks around at the small market place near the docks that sold seafood and fruits and at the land past that, housing all the people of Storms End. She looks at the sea to her right and how comfortably her ship sits at the dock before looking at the castle behind Gendry and then back at him.
"I was thinking forever, if you'll have me."
Gendry felt like the wind was knocked out of him and he felt his face break out into a grin larger than life.
He rushed forward and pulled her in his arms once again, a laugh escaping from the both of them.
"Of course I'll have you. It's you, Arya." He said to her and he felt her wrap her arms around him too.
"I just want you to know that I haven't been a proper lady in a while. I've only ever known surviving."
He pulls away and gives her a sad smile, "Me too. But I get by okay. We'll get by okay."
Arya smiles up at him and her eyes are sparkling and he knew today wasn't like any other day.
"I'm going to be your wife." She spoke softly in a hushed voice, like a secret between them.
He smiles and feels his heart burst in a million ways. He loves her, he truly does.
She leans forward, standing only slightly on her toes and he holds her in his arms as their lips meet one another and it's better than every night that he's dreamed of this.
It's soft and slow and salty only a little from their tears because he wished for her to be here and she was.
They pull apart and rest their foreheads against each other, eyes smiling.
She leans back a little to look at him and smiles, "I missed you."
He looks at her and wraps his arms around her firmer than before, "I can't believe you're really here."
"Well you better, because I'm not going anywhere. I love you too much to leave again."
He felt warmth spread through him, "I love you too."
They pull apart and walk towards the castle, hand in hand as he tells her about everything he's wanted to tell her. About how he missed her, about Storms End and how lonely and beautiful it can be.
About how he loves her and she's there with him.
She's always there with him.